Ibuki: Disclaimer! The author does not own any of the material appearing in the story. The OC's belong to their respective owners!
BGM: Hades' Infernal Theme (Kid Icarus: Uprising)
"Time! Space! Reality! It's more than just a boring ol' linear path! It's a prism of boundless entertainment! A single choice can branch out into infinite realities and infinite amusement from yours truly! Alternate universes created from the ones that we know and love! I am Lord Hades, your handsome guide to these wonderful and boundless fun of opportunities! Follow me, if you dare… and bask in the neverending torturous question of:"
SUPER RWBY: WHAT IF?
"What If!"
End BGM
"Well, that was pretty cute if I say so myself. Who knew that if you just talked it out with Yagami, all the problems they would've had would be avoided. Take notes, main universe~! Hahahahaha, I jest!"
He then looked through the universes once more with a hum. "Still though… I have to wonder who's best mother… Rosie, Yor or Esdeath? I feel like I'm forgetting someone… oh right, Summer!" He chuckled.
He found a universe that caught his attention. "Oh… what's this? Oh. Oooooooh! Oh my goodness, that is so vile! So vulgar! So… disgusting! So CRUEL! …I love it!"
BGM: Environmental Mystery (Metroid Fusion)
"Now, dear readers… this next tale will scare you. It will even horrify you! It might not be suitable for kids. We're talking about M rated territory here! Humanity will fall if I dared to tell you such a tale! It's too much. I've half a mind to make you sign some waivers! The faint hearted shouldn't be reading this! Here, I'll even put in a disclaimer!"
Warning: There are some scenes in this story that some readers will find distressing. Reader discretion is advised.
"Now that I got that out of the way… peek into this universe if you dare… the unspeakable horror that awaits you of this grave tale of…"
What If…
Lightning flashed with a loud thunder clap.
Peach and Ruby SWITCHED BODIES?!
*record scratch*
Hades made a shit eating grin. "What, too much?"
BGM: Professor E. Gadd (Luigi's Mansion)
"Hmhmhmhm~" E. Gadd hummed.
"Grandpa, what are you working on?" Jade asked.
"Oh, just a little something that I'm working on. I was about to test it when that mansion showed up and put a wrench into my plans."
"Sooooo… what is it?"
"It's a secret! I'll tell you when the tests are done."
"Oh, okay." Jade nodded as she walked off.
"Now then, just add this aaaaand… perfect!" E. Gadd smiled. "Now to do some tests. Hey Rotom! Can you come here for a second?"
"Roto?"
E. Gadd opened up a glass tube as Rotom went inside and then E. Gadd pressed a button and hurriedly went inside. "And now… let's see how this goes!"
Unbeknownst to the two, a Boo flew up behind them and saw that the machine was plugged it. It let out a soft cackle and then grabbed said plug, deciding to rip it open slightly right as it was lighting up.
…Thanks to the two holes in the plug, lightning shot out of both ends and out the windows as the lights went out. The Boo cackled and disappeared through the wall.
"Goodness me!" E. Gadd said as he walked out. "...I still feel the same." He walked behind to see what went awry as he saw two holes in the plug in. "Oh! So that's what went wrong… the plug in just went bad!"
He let out a chuckle. "Well… I'll just get some electrical tape. It's a good thing no one was around that… because if that happened, their bodies would be switched instead!"
"Roto Roto?"
"Well, if they were outside of the machine, the body switching effects would be permanent. Ohohoho, but there's no need to worry. It's not like anyone we know will be affected!"
Meanwhile…
"Phew, it's a little warm in here." Yang said, opening up the dorm window. "Aaah, nice fresh air!"
"You said it!" Ruby smiled.
"Okay, so… you wanna do anything? Weiss went to the library with Blake and I feel like watching a movie-"
"Nah… I'm gonna read a comic book, probably polish my weapon… it's about time Crescent Rose needed a tune up."
"Oh, it's that time already? Well… if you insist, I'll go see this movie anyway."
"What type of movie is it?"
"R rated." Yang walked off.
"Blegh… probably some cheap horror movie." Ruby mumbled as she sat on the window sill, pulling out Crescent Rose and started to clean her weapon. "Hmhmhmhm~"
At Peach's Castle…
Peach opened up the doors to her balcony and looked up at the night sky. "I've always loved nights like these. Just makes you want to take a deep breath and… forget about everything."
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling. "Aaaah…"
Suddenly, a lightning bolt struck Peach around the same time as a lightning bolt struck Ruby, both of them yelping as their minds were swiftly switched around and knocked them both to the ground, knocking them out.
The next morning…
"Uuugh…" Ruby groaned, rubbing her head. "What the heck just hit me?" She wondered, finding herself in Peach's room. "What? Where am I?"
She stood up. "This isn't the dorm room… wait, why is my voice so different?"
She spotted a mirror as she walked toward it, and then about did a double take when she saw herself in the mirror. "WHY AM I PEACH?!" She yelled.
With Peach…
Peach looked at herself in the mirror after she woke up. "...Was I drinking last night?" She wondered aloud, as she pinched herself. "Ow! …Oh gosh, I'm not me anymore. I'm… Ruby!"
Ruby…
"Yow!" Ruby winced. "Okay, pinching myself didn't work. I'm in Peach's body. WHY am I in Peach's body?!"
She slapped herself a few times, but to her dismay, she didn't wake up. "Ooooh… what the heck am I gonna do?"
A thought came to her mind. "Do I still have my semblance?" She wondered as she tested it out, as a pink tornado went around the room, cherry blossoms falling to the ground. "Okay, I do… but cherry blossoms aren't my thing… aww…"
She took a deep breath and exhaled. "Okay… play it cool… play it cool… just act like Peach for today and then when no one's looking…"
Peach…
"Go straight to my castle and see if I can find Ruby."
Ruby…
"Go straight to Beacon and see if I can find the princess."
Ruby blinked. "Wait… hold on, I'm technically the princess now… wait, that means I'm a legal adult. That means… I can do things meant for adults…"
She gasped, her eyes sparkling.
"I can eat cookies at midnight and drink a large gallon of milk! BEST ADULT LIFE EVER!"
She shook her head, slapping her cheeks. "Okay, focus! I need to find my body and Peach pronto." She said. "...And then do what I just said!"
Ruby walked straight for the door, opening it up… and saw Toadsworth about to knock on the door. "Oh! Good morning, princess!"
"Hey Toadsworth. What's up?"
"I was about to knock on your door and ask if you're ready to start the day."
"Of course! I was about to go on a walk and-"
"Have you showered yet?"
"...Oh… uh… noooooo?"
"Perhaps it would be wise. A stinky princess is not a good princess, as I always say."
"That's the first time I ever heard you say that, dude… but ooookay!"
Ruby went back into the room and grabbed her towel. "So, where's the bathroom?"
Toadsworth raised an eyebrow. "Princess, you have a private bathroom, remember?"
"Ooooh, right… I forgot about that. Silly me! Thanks, dude!" Ruby closed the door and walked off.
"Ah, probably just woke up and is not thinking straight. Happens to the best of us." Toadsworth walked off. "...Wait a moment. Did she just call me "dude"?"
Ruby walked into the bathroom, sighing. "Alright… first things first. Take a shower and then locate my body." She said as she took off her dress, and as she did, she stared at the mirror. "Holy smokes, Peach… I didn't know you were endowed so well!" She said, staring at her pink frilly bra and playfully bounced her chest with her hands. She even did a pose and flashed the peace sign.
"Okay, okay… shower and then go find my body." She said, unhooking her bra.
Back at Beacon…
"Ruby… are you done in there? This is the longest shower you've ever taken!" Weiss said.
"In a minute, dear! Wait your turn!"
"...Dear?" Weiss blinked.
"Oho! You two secretly going out~?" Yang playfully elbowed her.
"Shut up!"
In the shower…
Shoot, I didn't mean to call Weiss that! Aaagh… okay, calm down… calm down. She thought. You're just in Ruby's body… was she always this small though? I feel so short… and her chest is a bit small too…
Peach sighed. Well, I'm sure I'll get to the bottom of this…
Peach turned off the shower and dried herself off, then put on her huntress attire. "Ugh, could use more pink…" She mumbled as she walked out. "Okay, your turn, dear. I… I mean… Weiss!"
"Seriously, why are you so flirty all of a sudden?" Weiss asked as she walked into the shower.
"Soooo, how was polishing your weapon last night?"
"...My what?"
"Crescent Rose? You must've exhausted yourself because I found you on the ground knocked out. You sure you're okay?"
"Yes, i'm perfectly fine, dear sister of mi-" She caught wind of the bed arrangements, causing her to gasp in shock. "Wh-what is this?! A bed hanging from the ceiling?! Books connecting two bunk beds?! Oh, this won't do at all! I need to call the Super Mario Makers and have them fix this up pronto!"
"...What are you talking about?"
Blake looked up from her book she was reading. "Um… you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine, dear. I'm perfectly-... uh… I meant Blake!"
"Ooooh, someone's a player~!" Yang teased.
"Oooh, you know what I mean…" Peach mumbled. "So, what are we doing today?"
"Training, remember?"
"Training… riiiiight." Peach sweatdropped. Okay, this isn't so bad… it's just a massive gun scythe. How bad can it be?
Later…
BGM: Going Somewhere (Mario Party Superstars)
THIS IS BAD! Peach yelled as she awkwardly swung the scythe around into some target dummies. Some dummies then came at her with swords as she tried to attack but was quickly overwhelmed. "This wouldn't be so bad if I had my frying pan or golf club! It's a lot less heavier than THIS!"
"Um… is she okay?" Weiss asked.
Yang scratched her head. "Maybe… she's having a sloppy morning?"
"Even so, she's more… focused than this."
"Why is Ruby acting like she can barely hold that scythe?" Jaune asked as JNPR approached.
"Honestly… I have no idea." Yang said.
With Ruby…
"Paperwork… seriously?" Ruby groaned. "Okay… okay… I can do this. It's not like paperwork will be this bad, right? Just gonna sign my name on it."
Five minutes later…
"There we go, signed it all!" Ruby smiled. "...Wait, was I supposed to read it all first? Ah… I'm sure it'll be fine." She said, putting it all in the "approved" bin.
She walked off and stretched. "Being a princess isn't so bad… I mean, how bad can it be?"
End BGM
SMASH!
"PRINCESS PEACH!"
BGM: Bowser's Theme (Super Mario 64)
Ruby turned around to see Bowser approaching her from the open wall that he just made. "I've come for you!'
"Awwwww craaaaaaap, I forgot about you!" Ruby groaned.
"You forgot about me? Oh, that hurts… maybe I can help you jog your memory!"
"Not if I have anything to see about it!" Ruby immediately pulled out… a frying pan. "...What?" She put it away and pulled out a tennis racket… and then a golf club. "Where the heck is my-"
She pulled out a Toad doll right after. "Oh, right… I don't have my scythe." She sighed. "Okay, there's only one thing to do."
She immediately took off running, using her semblance to get out of the room.
"...Since when could you do that?!" Bowser asked in surprise before smirking. "Heh, playing hard to get, are we?"
He looked down to see the cherry blossoms petals, causing him to chuckle as he casually followed the petals until he got to a closet door and opened it up, grabbing Ruby by the arm.
"Wah!"
"You suck at hide and seek." He chuckled, putting her over his shoulder and walked off.
"Oooh! Let me go, you brute! Aaargh, I'm not who you think I am!"
"Come on, let's go." Bowser carried her into the Clown Car and started to fly off. "Let Mario hear your cry!"
"WEISS! BLAKE! YANG! HELP MEEEE! …Er, I mean, MAAAARIOOOOO!"
Bowser raised an eyebrow. "You didn't call out for Ruby?"
"That's because I am Ruby, genius!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, "Ruby", if you're little red riding hood, then I'm a lumberjack! Gwahahahaha!"
"Mmph…" Ruby folded her arms in annoyance. "Well, at least my doppelganger didn't kidnap me."
"...You're calling Daisy your doppelganger?"
"No! Dark Ruby!"
"Uh-huh… you guys roleplayin' or something?"
"Does it LOOK like I'm roleplaying?!"
Ruby sighed in annoyance. "Whatever… let's just hope this kidnapping is a fast one."
End BGM
Meanwhile…
"Okay, Ruby is acting so strange today." Blake said. "I can't be the only one who's noticed this."
"Yeah, she's been… odd." Yang said. "I can't figure out what it is."
Weiss immediately looked to the sky. "Hey Palutena! We could use Pit for assistance!"
At that moment, a heavenly light shined down as Pit walked out. "Yo, need me for somethi-"
"Fix your girlfriend!" Weiss turned him around and pushed him to Peach. "NOW!"
"Whoa! Why do I need to fix her?"
"She's been acting weird all morning! It's like she's a whole different person!"
"Maybe it's boyfriend withdrawals." Yang said.
"Well! Glad I'm here then." Pit walked over to Peach was still struggling to hold Crescent Rose. "Oh Ruby~!"
"Hmm?" Peach turned her head. Uh oh! She grimaced as Pit walked over to her.
"C'mere~!" Pit wrapped his arms around him.
Oh gods, what do I do?! Is this technically cheating if it's someone else inside Ruby's body? Is it not cheating? I'm only interested in Mario! Sorry Pit, you're only for Ruby!
Pit leaned in to give her a kiss, but Peach quickly pushed him away.
"Aheheheh, sorry! I'm not into that!"
"Huh?" Pit blinked. "Oh, you're not wanting to kiss right now? That's fine!" He continued to hug her.
Gah! Can't get out of his firm grip! …Goodness, is this what it's like to be hugged by an angel? His arms are so soft and he's so gentle… Ruby knows how to pick 'em~ GAH! FOCUS, PEACH!
"Uh… she rejected a kiss…" Blake said.
"Okay, sooooo… we take her into the infirmary at this point, right?" Weiss asked.
"Nooooo? I'm not taking my sister to the infirmary if she's a little off."
"Guuuuuys!" A voice called out as they saw the Mario Bros approach him.
"O-oh! Mario!" Peach managed to get out of Pit's grasp and dusted herself off. "How are you doing?" She asked, clasping her hands and lowering her arms down like she usually does, causing everyone to look at her weird.
Oookay, maybe I do need to take her into the infirmary… Yang thought.
"What?" Peach asked.
"Oookay… anyway, Peach has been kidnapped. You guys want to come help?" Mario asked.
"What?! I've been kidnapped? But I'm standing right here!"
Everyone looked at her weirdly again.
"...Oh. Uh… I mean… oh no, I've been- Peach has been kidnapped by Bowser. Let's go get that… big guy!"
"Is she feeling okay?" Luigi whispered to her team, who simply shrugged.
"Okay, first of all. We better keep an eye on Ruby. Second of all, let's go get him!" Weiss said as everyone nodded, as Pit took Peach's hand.
"Let's go."
"Right." Was his hand always this soft? WAIT, FOCUS!
They all took off to Bowser's Castle.
Meanwhile…
"Ahahaha! Looks like another victory for you, big guy." Roman said as he tapped the cage. "You just stand in there and we'll make you watch is defeat your friends."
"Oh, I'm not worried. My sister will pummel you upside the head when she finds out you kidnapped me."
"...Yes, I'm familiar with Daisy."
"I'm not referring to Daisy. I'm referring to Yang!"
Neo raised an eyebrow. Huh?
"The firecracker is your sister now? Well, I suppose blondes can unite as one, I suppose… oh well. Best to get the Bill Blasters ready."
Roman walked off as Neo stared at Ruby with a curious tilt of the head.
"Well, what the heck are you looking at? Go off and get your sassy butt kicked for all I care."
Neo blinked. ["You feeling okay? You're usually friendlier than this."]
"I just don't like the idea of getting kidnapped twice in my life. I just got out of that painting from King Boo."
["But… you never were kidnapped by a Boo."]
"Oh, whatever!"
Neo continued to stare at her weirdly before walking off. She stopped to look at her one more time before walking away.
Ruby sighed. "I have got to remember I'm in Peach's body…"
Later…
"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser laughed as he jumped from his throne and landed in front of the heroes that barged into his castle. "Come to get your princess? Too bad! She's with me now!"
"...This is way different." Peach said to herself.
"If you think you can put a stop to me, you got another thing comin'!" Bowser roared as Roman and Neo got ready as well.
"Alright guys…" Peach awkwardly pulled out Crescent Rose. "Let's take down Bowser and save me from him! …Er… I mean, save Peach from him! Yeah… that's what I meant."
Everyone paused, looking at Peach as if she lost her mind. "What?"
"Save you from me? But I didn't kidnap you…" Bowser said. "BAH! First Peach spouts nonsense about a doppelganger and now you're saying I kidnapped YOU?"
"I don't even HAVE a doppelganger, you brute!"
"Did you hit your head or something? You seriously forgot about Dark Ruby?" Weiss asked.
"But I do!"
Everyone turned to see Ruby walking toward them.
"Huh?! How did you get out?!" Roman asked.
Earlier…
"Hmm…" Ruby looked at the cell, rubbing her chin in thought. "How wide are these bars?" She wondered as she walked over and stuck her arm out, then her shoulder, then her head and chest… and then the rest of her body. "Wide enough~!"
Back in the present…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY WEREN'T CLOSE ENOUGH?!" Bowser yelled.
["I always thought they were wide enough for an escape, but I thought I was going crazy…"]
Peach and Ruby stared at each other, both of them narrowing their eyes.
BGM: Funny Goings-On (Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam)
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BODY, PEACH/RUBY?!"
"Wait… huh?" Yang blinked.
"Is this some kind of… roleplaying?" Pit wondered.
"That's what I want to know!" Bowser said.
"Here I was, cleaning Crescent Rose when all of a sudden, a lightning bolt comes in and hits me… and then I wake up in Peach's room!" Ruby said.
"I was enjoying a night on the balcony and I suddenly wake up in the dorm room, which, by the way, who built those ridiculously dangerous bunk beds? The top one could easily crush the one on the bottom!"
Kamek appeared in the room. "Hmm…" He mused as he walked over to the duo. "Something tells me they are not roleplaying…"
"What do you mean?" Bowser asked.
Kamek fired magic at Ruby and Peach, where they would see an image of Ruby and Peach's minds being swapped. "Ah… a body switch. It appears a freak accident caused these two to switch their minds… and apparently, Ruby and Peach's abilities swapped with them as well."
"What exactly do you mean?" Yang wondered.
"It's like this." Ruby immediately used her semblance to get around everyone, leaving cherry blossom petals in her wake as she stopped right next to Pit.
"Whoa!" Pit exclaimed.
"Mama mia!" Mario exclaimed.
"Wait… so that means…" Peach conjured up magic in her hands. "Oh, that would've been nice to know…"
"OKAY, TIME OUT!" Yang yelled. "You mean to tell me my sister is in Peach's body and Peach is in my sister's body?!"
"Apparently so!" Kamek said. "Allow me to fix this."
He waved magic at the girls and fired it, but suddenly his magic was rejected and bounced back, forcing Kamek to duck as the magic hit a wall instead.
"Huh! That wasn't supposed to happen…"
"It rejected his magic?!" Blake asked.
"Okay, this seems like a science experiment gone wrong." Luigi said.
"Do we know anyone that's a mad scientist?" Mario wondered as Luigi and WBY looked at each other.
End BGM
Later…
Knock knock!
"Coming!" E. Gadd opened up the door to his lab… and was immediately greeted by RWBY, the Mario Bros, Peach, Pit, Bowser, Kamek, Neo and Roman.
"You have some explaining to do!" Yang said as they walked in.
"Whatever do you mean?" E. Gadd asked.
Kamek showed off his magic. "Apparently, Peach and Ruby's minds have been swapped as early as last night. We thought of this as a science experiment going wrong, so we thought of you."
"Your minds have been swa-... uh oh…" E. Gadd moved to his machine. "This might be the culprit. I call it the Mind Swapper 5000! With this, you can safely switch between minds inside of this machine. However, as I was testing it with Rotom… the plug in was ripped open and shot out two lightning bolts."
"Yeah, and it hit the both of us." Ruby said. "I'm trapped in a princess's body and let me tell you, pink isn't my thing! …No offense, Peach."
"It's okay."
"Can you fix this?" Pit asked.
"Weeeeell… there's a problem." E. Gadd said. "If the machine malfunctions and two people are outside of the safety of the machine, well… their minds are permanently switched with no chance of turning back."
"Hold on! What if they went inside of the machine? Can you turn them back?" Weiss asked.
"Hmm… perhaps." E. Gadd mused. "I don't guarantee it being a success, but it could be possible." He said as Peach and Ruby eagerly walked into the machine and then E. Gadd flipped the switch.
The machine lit up, forcing everyone to cover their eyes before the machine turned off as the girls walked out, then looked at each other.
"AAAAAH! IT DIDN'T WORK!" They both yelled.
"I was afraid of that." E. Gadd mused.
"Are you kidding me?!" Weiss yelled.
"Great, so this means that Ruby is now the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom…" Blake began.
"And… Peach is a teenage huntress." Yang rubbed her head.
"'Fraid so." E. Gadd nodded.
"Soooooo… what does this mean then? Do I continue to kidnap Ruby in Peach's body or do I start invading Beacon and kidnap Peach?" Bowser asked as everyone turned to glare at him. "What? A guy's gotta know this stuff!"
"Come on, let's go…" Ruby said as they walked away.
"Oh, by the way. How's Jade holding up?" Luigi asked.
"She's doing well. As far as I know, though… she's off doing some sort of test with CFVY and three other girls."
"Aaaah, okay!" Luigi nodded and walked off.
Later, at Toad Park…
"So, this is our lives now." Ruby said as she and Peach were sitting in the park. "I'm the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom…"
"And I'm a teenager…" Peach mumbled. "Actually, this might not be so bad. I mean, I'm not really a princess anymore, so I don't have to worry about running the kingdom or worry about politics… I don't have to worry about all of that!" She smiled.
"Yeah, but that's on me now."
Peach slumped. "Oh, right…"
"So what do we do now?"
"Well… the only option is to move forward." Peach said. "It's weird that I'm no longer a princess."
"Yeah, but its like… you had tons of responsibilities as princess and now that's on me. How am I supposed to deal with that?"
"You think that's bad? I'm clumsy with a scythe for crying out loud! And I don't understand what's the deal with these silver eyes either!" Peach sighed.
"Maybe… maybe we can help each other. You teach me how to run a kingdom and… I can teach you how to use Crescent Rose."
"That sounds good. Oh… and, to be honest? Running a kingdom isn't as bad as you'd think. It's actually pretty simple."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Peach smiled. "So… shall we then?"
"Let's get you to be the best huntress there is!"
"Ooooh, I smell a montage coming! Hit it~!" Hades grinned.
BGM: Holding out for a Hero (Bonnie Tyler)
Peach was out in the courtyard where Ruby watched on. A few target dummies consisting of Hammer Bros and Koopas showed up as Peach awkwardly switched to Crescent Rose's gun mode and started firing, but the recoil was enough to knock her on her butt, causing Ruby to wince.
"Okay, so… do I have to balance everything on my head?" Ruby asked, holding a few cups of tea and balancing books on her head.
"You're doing great!" Peach gave her a thumbs up.
"WHOOOOOA!" Ruby yelped as she fell over as everything fell on to pof her. "Ooof!"
"You didn't have to do all that… I was just curious to see if you could do it~!"
"Mmmph…" Ruby groaned.
A Hammer Bro dummy threw a hammer as Peach aimed and fired, only she didn't have it pressed against her shoulder as the recoil slammed into her face. "Agh!" She yelped.
"Ooooh!" Ruby winced. "You have to hold it against your shoulder!"
"I thought that was a style choice…" Peach groaned, wiping blood from her nose.
"So uh… pinky out?" Ruby asked, drinking tea.
"Oh no, that's just a myth you hear in cartoons. We don't actually do it."
"Cartoons lied to me?!"
"Oh boy…" Peach sweatdropped.
Peach swung Crescent Rose, into the test dummies, swinging it around wildly but her grip was loose as she let go and destroyed some flowers, while also scaring the heck out of a Toad Gardener.
"Sorry!" Peach called out.
"Wait, hold up! Did you even properly read that?" Peach asked.
"What? I'm a speed reader!"
Peach took the paperwork in question. "...You approved of an indoor swimming pool in the movie theater?!"
"Why not? You can relax in the pool while watching a movie!"
"Uuuugh…" Peach groaned.
Peach jumped between platforms, swinging Crescent Rose down and cutting through a few Koopas and Goombas, then she found herself surrounded by Hammer and Boomerang Bro dummies as she spun her scythe around… only she got caught spinning away from them all. "Waaaaaaah!"
Splash!
Peach found herself in a pond as some Cheep Cheeps looked at her in bewilderment. "I'm okay!"
"Oi…" Ruby facepalmed.
"Have you ever thought about putting up defenses so you won't get yourself kidnapped?"
"That's not my style."
"Not your style?! You could put Bill Blasters on there or even other defensive maneuvers! It could make a huge difference!"
"Ooooh, but that wouldn't be nice to shoot Bowser down…"
"...Dude, do you enjoy getting kidnapped?"
"WHAT?! No, of course not!"
"I think you're into it."
"Am not!"
"Alright, let me show you how it's done." Ruby gently took Crescent Rose as she started running, only she tripped and fell over. "Gah! Stupid heels!" She kicked them off as she got back up and started running, quickly using her semblance to get around the dummies and slashed them.
She then jumped onto a springboard and jumped into the air as some Paratroopa and Bullet Bills came to her as she flipped Crescent Rose into its sniper mode and started shooting with precise aim as she then landed on the ground and kept running, as a Lakitu dummy threw Spiny Eggs at her but she twirled her scythe around to deflect them.
Once the Bowser dummy came into view, Ruby picked up the pace and slashed through him gracefully until she landed on her feet behind him.
"Ooooh, now I get it!" Peach smiled.
"Okay, serious question." Daisy spoke up. "What's stopping you two from changing your looks?"
Peach and Ruby looked at each other and then looked at Daisy. "It didn't occur to us!"
Daisy grinned. "Well… let's make some magic happen!"
Out on the obstacle course, Ruby's body went flying ahead and slashed through a couple of Koopa dummies, as Peach skidded to a halt. Ruby's hair was now blonde with red highlights as her combat skit was now pink, with the sleeves being dark blue as her cape had Peach's emblem on it and was colored pink as well. She also had a flower choker on her neck and had black tights on her legs, the bottom of the combat skirt was frilly and her shoes were red high heels.
"Yaaaah!" Peach slashed through as she jumped on a springboard and jumped on a few Bullet Bills before jumping off, switching Crescent Rose to its gun mode as she aimed down and shot at several Bob-ombs dummies, where they exploded as Peach landed behind the explosions as she kept running.
She was immediately surrounded by Sledge Bros and Piranha Plants as she struck Crescent Rose to the ground and then spun herself around, kicking them all back as Peach then pulled out a Fire Flower and shoved it into the magazine, then she aimed and shot rapid fire fireballs into a Bowser dummy before doing a sawblade-like attack and cut through the Bowser dummy, cutting him in half and then turned around with a smirk on her face.
She heard clapping right after as she saw her own body, her hair now black with shades of red on the sides, her outfit having the brooch but consisted of a red dress with a corset on the waist as the dress was also shorter to reveal her legs, not to mention dark red combat boots as she also wore Beowolf earrings. Her gloves were also dark red.
"You're ready!"
Peach smirked, fist pumping.
"Alright girls, let's go!" Peach exclaimed as Yang, Blake and Weiss were in position as they charged ahead at some Grimm.
An Ursa swiped at Yang, but she threw an uppercut to knock the Grimm in the air as Peach jumped in and sliced through it with Crescent Rose, the scythe now pink and decked out in cherry blossoms.
Peach switched to gun mode and started shooting at Beowolves where one ignored the bullets that were hitting it as it leapt into the air and tried to swipe her, but Blake jumped in and slashed it away, where Peach then summoned the Rose Palm and fired a charged shot to destroy it.
"Weiss, to your left!"
"I see it!" Weiss quickly put up a gravity glyph to stop a Boarbatusk from hitting her as Yang jumped in, picked the Boarbatusk by the tusks and threw it into the air as Peach got one knee, pulling out an Ice Flower and putting it into her magazine and shot it, freezing it up as it fell to the ground and shattered.
"Princess Pea-... er, I mean, Ruby! Bowser is approaching!" A Toad called out to her.
"Get our new defenses up!" Ruby ordered.
Several blasters rose up from the castle roof and the front yard of the castle, all of them aiming and firing Bullet Bills and actual rockets at them.
"EVASIVE MANEUVERS!" A Hammer Bro yelled as the airships tried to avoid them… but unfortunately, the missiles were heat seeking as the airships all blew up as one cannon opened up from the top of the castle and started shooting lasers at them for insult to injury.
Ruby was outside at a balcony, casually dunking cookies in milk and eating them while watching the fireworks in front of her.
Bowser and his Koopa Troop fell to the ground in bewilderment, wondering what the hell just hit them as the cannons were aimed at them next. "RETREAT!" Bowser yelled as they took off running.
"Yeah, that's what I thought, big guy."
Peach and Ruby both sat on top of the roof of the castle together, both of them looking out at the sunset while also clinking glasses of fruit punch.
"To a new life." Ruby said.
"You said it." Peach smiled. "Good luck on running the kingdom, Princess Ruby."
"Same with you being an awesome huntress, Peach." Ruby smiled, both of them giving each other a side hug.
End BGM
A few weeks later…
Ruby walked around Toad Town with a hum, her hands behind her back with a smile on her face. "Who knew running the kingdom would be so easy… especially considering I'm not getting kidnapped by the big guy anymore."
"Hey princess!" A Toad waved to her.
"Yo!"
"Hey Princess Pea-... I mean, Ruby! Looking cute!"
"Thank you!"
At that moment, Ruby walked up to the Shy Guy Buffet. "Alriiiight, let's see what we got~!"
"Hey princess!" A Shy Guy waved as Ruby waved back, then she went to gather up her food that she wanted and then sat down. She casually turned her head after munching on some steak.
"Hmm?"
"Come to Isle Delfino! It will enrich your body and spirit with the world's finest resort facilities, a spectacular amusement park and succulent seafood!"
"Hmm…" Ruby rubbed her chin in thought. "Well, I do have a private plane… I could get my friends to go…" She grinned. "Yeah, I think I'll do that~!" She giggled, pulling out her phone and snapping a picture, then texted everyone.
"Meet me at Sunshine Airport if you wanna hang at Delfino for a while!"
Later…
"Glad that you could show up!" Ruby smiled, seeing Toadsworth, the Toad Brigade, Peach, WBY, JNPR, JINX, the Reds and Blues, Pit, the Mario Bros and Daisy approaching.
"You had to change my plane's colors?" Peach asked, noticing that the private jet was red and black.
"...What, too much?"
Peach laughed. "Nah, it's perfect for you." She said as they climbed in, and then the private jet took off.
Later, at Delfino…
The jet landed at the airstrip as they all got out. "Aaah, smell that ocean breeze!" Ruby smiled. Not sure why there's goop on the airstrip, but whatever…
"You said it!" Yang chuckled.
"So, Yang, I have to ask… how's the team holding up without me?" Ruby asked.
"Oh, pretty good. When Ozpin found out that you and Peach switched bodies, he said "Not the strangest thing I've heard" and decided to give our team a makeover. So instead of Team RWBY, we're now… Team WYBP."
"WYBP? As in… whip it good? Sexual innuendo?"
"NOT YOU TOO!" Weiss yelled. "It's bad enough that Coco tends to make fun of it but… aaagh!"
"Yeesh… what'd I say?" Ruby wondered as Mario came back with FLUDD equipped and washed the goop off of the airstrip, even taking care of the Piranha Plant that came out.
"Hey guys? I think someone's coming." Blake said as they all saw the local police coming toward them.
"Yup, these are the criminals. Take 'em in!" One of them said as they suddenly handcuffed Peach, Weiss, and Blake.
"Whoa! Hey! What the heck did we do?!" Weiss yelled.
"You defaced our island!"
"We haven't even heard of this place!"
"Whoa whoa whoa, time out." Ruby walked to the guards. "I'm sure this is one big misunderstanding. These people haven't even been here yet so-"
"Oh yeah? Explain this then!" The guard showed them drawings of the trio.
Ruby's face darkened, seeing the face of her doppelganger in front of them. "These are just people pretending to be my friends. They weren't here to begin with."
"Oh yeah? What makes you so sure? Give us proof!"
"Fine, you want proof?" Yang asked as she took Peach, Weiss and Blake's scrolls and handed them to the cops. "These tell us exactly where we've been the last week."
"...Huh! Would you look at that."
"Welp, that settles it. Someone's out to get you three. I'd be careful if I were you!" He said as they uncuffed WYB. "Same goes for you, Mario. You never know who might steal your identity."
They quickly took off running.
"...I feel like I dodged a bullet here." Mario said.
"Dark Ruby… so she's trying to ruin your life by framing you." Ruby growled. "I'm not going to let that happen."
"So what are we going to do?" Peach asked.
"Well… first, we clean up the mess that they created… and then, we set up a counter attack."
Later, at Pinna Park…
"I don't like the idea of being bait…" Peach mumbled. "Buuuuut considering I'm in your body, I suppose this will do."
"Hey bitch!"
"Okay, first of all, RUDE!" Peach turned around, seeing Dark Ruby holding a magic paintbrush. "And second of all… what's with the paintbrush?"
"Oh, I took it from that Koopa kid and saw it was a magic brush when I painted the ground. Apparently Bowser doesn't have it in him to kidnap that bimbo of a princess anymore, so… whatever."
Ooooh, I'm going to smack you for that…
"But anyway, I'm going to make you wish that you-... wait…" Dark Ruby narrowed her eyes. "What the hell are you wearing? Since when were you into pink?"
"Oh, I've always been like that."
"Okay, first of all, NO. Second of all, WHY blonde?!"
"Because it fits me." Peach smiled. "Oh, and for the record… I'm not Ruby Rose." She pulled out Crescent Rose. "I'm Peach Toadstool!"
"...Right. And I'm Ganondorf." Dark Ruby mocked. "Anyway, I'm just gonna kill you and-"
Suddenly, wind surrounded her as she was caught in a flurry of cherry blossoms. "Wait, what the…?!" Dark Ruby wondered as Ruby quickly used a Cherry Blossom Tornado as she was flown high into the air where Peach felt her hands feeling lighter, noticing Crescent Rose was gone.
Up on top, Ruby revealed herself as she swung Crescent Rose through Dark Ruby as she slid across the sand as Dark Ruby screamed, her arms having been cut off by her.
"MY ARMS! AAAAAAAGH! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?! I'M GONNA KILL YOU FO-"
"SILENCE!"
Dark Ruby's eyes widened as she saw who was her assailant. "Wait… Ruby…? You… you're full grown all of a sudden!"
"And I'm the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom." Ruby put Crescent Rose in its gun form and aimed it directly at her face. "And honestly, I should've done this a long time ago…"
"Aheheheh… you wouldn't really do this, would you? This would be out of character for you!"
"You're right… it would. Which is why I'm going to pass judgment instead, and my ruling? We're gonna have a barbecue." She said, tossing Crescent Rose to Peach.
"Barbecue?" Peach wondered.
"Wh-what do you mean by that…?" Dark Ruby gulped as Ruby took the paintbrush and put Dark Ruby over her shoulder.
"I'll show you."
Once at Gelato Beach…
Ruby threw Dark Ruby into the sand at Gelato Beach. "Is the barbecue ready?" Ruby asked.
"Locked and loaded!" Yang gave a thumbs up.
"You stole my paintbrush!" A voice said as they saw Junior glaring at her. "You're gonna pay for that!" He declared as he took a step back and breathed fire into her.
…Which was just an ordinary fireball.
"...Ow? Was that supposed to-"
Immediately, a massive fire breath engulfed her.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" She screamed until she was nothing more than a pile of ashes.
"That's what you get for messing with my son's creativity!" Bowser said.
"...Soooo, we're just gonna ignore the fact that Bowser and his son were also here on vacation?" Weiss asked.
"Hey. Tyrants need vacations too, ya know!" Bowser said as he spotted Ruby. "...Princess."
"Bowser."
Ruby then smiled. "So! Who's up for pina coladas?"
Later…
BGM: Sirena Beach (Super Mario Sunshine)
"Well, this is nice…" Ruby said, staring off into the sunset. "Dark Weiss is in jail, Dark Blake was thrown into Corona Mountain… Meta ran away, life's good."
"Hey, Rubes." Pit walked over to her.
"Oh hey, sweetie." Ruby greeted. "I'm just admiring the view."
Pit smiled. "Yeah, it's great. So um… have you heard about Mario and Peach lately?"
"Oh gods, is he seriously dati-"
"Oh no no no, he's fine. He's saying that he's gonna hold off until Peach is a little older physically just so that no one will get the wrong idea."
"Oh good, that's a relief." Ruby chuckled. "Still though, it must be weird dating a princess, huh?"
"Not really. I know it's you. And, I'm still amazed you found time to go on dates with me all the time despite your busy schedule."
"You kidding? I go through that schedule so fast, I have a lot of time on my hands!" Ruby giggled. "Meetings are boring though, but… what can you do."
"Right." Pit nodded. "So um… there's something I've been wanting to ask."
"What is it?"
"Well… I was gonna wait until you graduated from Beacon, but considering you're running a kingdom… I've been toying with this idea for a long time."
"And that would be?" Ruby wondered, turning to Pit as she suddenly gasped, seeing him getting on one knee as he pulled out a box.
Nearby, Yang spotted this and her eyes widened. "Holy shoot…!" Her eyes sparkled.
"Princess Ruby Rose, you've made me the happiest angel of all time and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you… marry me?"
Ruby let out a massive fangirl scream. "YES! Yes, I will!" She exclaimed happily.
"BOOYAH!" Yang fist pumped as Pit slipped the ring on Ruby's finger as the two embraced with a kiss, both of them closing their eyes.
Yang turned to her friends. "Hey guys! RUBY SAID YES!"
"Yes to what?" Weiss asked before her eyes widened. "No… NO! He didn't!" A smile crept on her face. "He seriously did not!"
"He did!"
"Rubes, I expect to be your maid of honor!" Weiss said. "...No, wait, better idea. Let me plan your wedding! I've always wanted to be a wedding planner!"
"Well, I'm happy for them." Blake smiled.
Ruby pulled away from the kiss and turned to her friends. "We got a whole wedding to plan out!"
"Um, excuse me!" Mario raised his hand. "While I'm happy for the both of you… have you told your father yet that you're a princess now? …Scratch that, going to be a queen?"
Ruby and Yang blinked and looked at each other. "Yang, did you tell dad that I turned into a princess overnight?"
"Um… nooooo…"
Both of them sweatdropped.
"OH CRAP, WE FORGOT TO TELL DAD!" They both yelled.
"Oh, I'm sure he would love to hear this story!" Hades grinned. "Anywho, that's it for now. See you then!"
Deadpool: Oh, I wonder how Tai's gonna react to that...
Ibuki: Probably... not well.
This What If idea was suggested by Gero the Head Hunter on Discord! Thanks for the idea!