WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

62. OC X AKASTSUKI PART TWO

I smiled awkwardly, if not a little disappointed, and gave him a small thanks. He seemed uncomfortable.

I looked back over at the others.

I'm not sure I'd ever seen Hidan so speechless. His brows were unabashedly drawn together as he gazed at me with a heavy breath from his nose and a slowly shaking head like he couldn't fully take in the vision before him, like it pained him in a way.

He acted like he was seeing an angel or something.

"And that's two for two," the shopkeeper startled me by whispering in my ear again. I fought a smile and stared at the floor with a shake of my own head.

"Holy fuck , Izumi," Hidan's voice had me glancing up.

Well that didn't last long .

The woman scoffed, apparently having the same thought.

He blinked several times like he was sussing out an illusion, breaking away from the pack swaggering towards me, still shaking his head incredulously.

"It's a little fucked up, you know," he said, not once taking his eyes off me.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked. The weight of everyone's gaze was becoming oppressive and I was tempted to retreat behind the screen once more.

He stood towering over me, entirely unphased by my obvious nerves. He never did feed off my anxieties, nor did he allow me to run from them. If my thoughts were stormy seas then he was my anchor.

With a thoughtful tilt of his head, he reached out and rubbed his thumb across my cheek.

"I'm supposed to be the beautiful one, sweetheart. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do?" he said with a slowly growing smile.

A weird chuffing noise came out of me followed by his name in a pseudo scolding tone like he was being ridiculous.

And he was being ridiculous.

They all were. All eyes were on me and he was being his usual forward, oddly and assertively affectionate self regardless of who was around. I did not know how to react.

I only took comfort in knowing he was like this before, too, so it didn't really let on to whatever our relationship status was.

Mm, like you didn't also enjoy his sexy hand brushing against your face? You little something-or-other...

The old woman started cackling wildly. "So maybe he's not an entire idiot," she laughed.

Kisame said, "Yeah, holy shit, Iz. You wanna save some for the rest of us? Fuck, I feel like the ugly step sister all of a sudden." He pouted. It was terrifying as usual.

I laughed and rolled my eyes, pleased he brought us back to a joking place. That, I could do.

"And what do you think of her, young man?" The shopkeeper asked keenly to Kakuzu who was sitting in a chair. She touched her hand to his shoulder and gestured to me. I watched with a smirk, knowing he hated interaction with strangers.

"Yes, what do you think, young man ?" I antagonized in my own way, smiling sweetly.

"She looks… expensive," he said flatly, rolling his shoulder to shake her hand off. She balked before letting out another cackle, slapping hard on his shoulder.

"Perhaps, dear. But she is worth it, no?" she said, giving him a squeeze before moving to pluck her camera out of Deidara's grasp.

"Izumi, come," Kakuzu said to me. I obliged right away, shuffling over.

He grabbed the price tag, his face deadpanning at the number.

"No." It was short and decisive.

"Oh come on ," Deidara whined before I couldn't even get a word out. "Look at her, yeah?"

I looked at him with a small, appreciative smile. "It's okay, Dei… I kind of figured this would happen."

I didn't expect anymore freebies from Kakuzu. Afterall, he'd already gotten me the dress and suggested we come here in the first place. Now they'd all be buying robes which would be expensive as well. Tacking on mine was pushing the envelope.

It was a shame though. I couldn't pretend I wasn't a little sad because, and maybe this was dumb, but I actually felt pretty for once? I knew it was a silly, superficial thing to dwell on, but I liked the way it made both Hidan and Itachi look at me.

The way it made all of them look at me. I guess it just felt like they cared.

I also enjoyed the way it made me look at myself. I looked like her , my mom, and it felt like it was my only way of seeing her in some messed up way.

You've got issues, girl.

Like I didn't know that.

Deidara started going on about how it was certainly not okay before Sasori interrupted his train of thought, whispering something to him. If I wasn't mistaken, he was also discretely pointing to me.

Uh oh. Where's this going?

Oh, I quickly found out.

My body seemed to move on it's own, or rather, with Sasori's help I surmised. Kisame had gone over the rules with me and I knew the guys were not supposed to put on any display of obvious chakra usage. Though, I supposed it wasn't obvious unless I said something about it. To the naked eye, it only looked like I was moving to sit on Kakuzu's lap of my own free will.

I plopped down onto his hulking form.

It was a dirty move on Sasori's part, knowing he could manipulate me and I couldn't say anything about it, lest I get him in trouble or blow our cover. He knew I wouldn't do that.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kakuzu asked, irritated as a biscuit without butter. Sasori had me wrap my arms around his shoulders and lay my head against him.

Oh good lord.

The only thing he couldn't make me do was speak but it seemed even weirder if I didn't. I realized I'd just have to play along.

"Please, Kakuzu," I asked with as much sugar coating my voice as I could muster.

"No. Now get off me," he said, not returning the hug… though also not pushing me off, I noticed.

Sasori had me squeeze him harder and bury my head into the crook of his neck. I got the gist he wanted me to lay it on even thicker. It was something I could do because I actually did want it, it's not like it wasn't genuine, it just wasn't the route I would have taken.

" Please ? I just… when you guys are all done with me and I have to leave… I just want something to remember you by. Something nice."

It was something I didn't like thinking about, that I'd have to leave them someday, probably someday soon, but it was the truth.

I looked up at him to see he was regarding me with a strange, conflicted look.

Kisame piped up from behind, "Well shit, Izumi. Way to pull at the fucking heart strings, I'll get it for you, kiddo."

"Really?" I snapped to look at Kisame and flashed him a big smile.

"I can too, yeah? We can go splitsies." Deidara offered.

"Same," Hidan added.

"No. I will get it." Kakuzu said suddenly. I'm not sure when it happened but his hand was on my knee, the other around my side in what felt like an odd territorial display.

Hidan started complaining. "What the fuck? You just fucking said-"

"I said… I'll. Get. It." Kakuzu cut him off sternly.

He was like a big teddy bear to me and I couldn't help but squish him all on my own, no Sasori required, murmuring a happy thank you into his shoulder and planting a small kiss on his stitched cheek which caused him to grumble awkwardly in annoyance.

Though, the barely detectable squeeze of his hand on my knee told me otherwise.

Such a softy.

There was a small bout of excited clapping from the old woman, she was incredibly pleased by this outcome. With the camera in hand, she briefly scolded the men for taking too many stupid pictures earlier, but coralled us all together to get a group shot.

They all gathered around Kakuzu and I. I asked Kakuzu to please smile and he seemed to frown even more which just made me laugh. I didn't actually think he would do it. Itachi wouldn't either, but the rest cheesed it pretty good, myself included.

She took a few shots. I couldn't stop laughing, the guys were hamming it up so ridiculously. You might have even thought they all liked each other for a second.

The old woman was getting her kicks too. She had me stand in front of the screen for a picture of just me afterwards.

"It's really okay, I don't need a picture of myself," I said, trying to get out of it.

"Nonsense, I keep a camera in here for this reason exactly. Besides, who says the picture will be for you, hm? I don't know your situation, but, from the sounds of it, you won't always be with this ragtag crew... Perhaps they'll want something to remember you by as well, no?"

Itachi approached quietly. "I think… it's a nice idea."

So he wanted me to do it.

Guess that settles it then.

I stood there looking awkward and she snapped a shot.

"Why don't you get in there with her, dear?" She said, pushing Itachi towards me.

He made some small dissenting noise and she chuckled. "Go on, don't be shy."

Of course he didn't want to. She couldn't possibly know how awkward this was, given our history. He stood kind of to my side but behind me a little. I looked back and up at him with an apologetic smile and he stared down at me with his usual vacant look with just the slightest hint of softness to it and let out a sigh.

When I reset my attention back to the shopkeeper for the photo, she said she was all done.

"What?! I wasn't even looking!"

"You were looking, just not at me. It's better that way, trust me dear," she assured, holding out the black photos that still needed to develop. Itachi reached out and took them from her with a thank you.

Just then I felt myself being lifted off my feet and let out a surprised yelp. There was no mistaking Hidan's strong arms beneath me.

"One more, lady," he said, referring to a picture I assumed.

While she'd been annoyed with him before, she seemed over it. I sensed she was living vicariously through me and eating up all the attention I was getting while in her yukata.

"If you boys hadn't gone so crazy earlier I'd be able to take more," she tutted. "I only have one shot left."

"Perfect, we saved the best for last," he grinned, looking down at me draped bridal style between his arms. I couldn't deny returning him a smile, he was so darn cute sometimes.

"Done!" she exclaimed.

"W-what! Again?! I wasn't looking again!?"

Everyone got their chuckles out at my expense while Itachi gathered up all the photos and discreetly stored them in a scroll.

Kakuzu begrudgingly went to pay for all our robes and unshockingly, attempted to haggle. The shopkeeper must have liked our company enough, or at least Kakuzu enough, to agree to a discount.

I pulled Sasori aside as we waited. "Um, excuse you. I think you owe me an apology," I said, crossing my arms and pursing my lips.

"Oh. Yes. Um, I'm sorry you haven't learned how to emotionally manipulate people yet. I'm glad I could assist, however." He smiled lightly.

I deadpanned. "That was the worst apology I've ever heard."

"Well, I'm not terribly sorry. It worked out alright, didn't it? You're the lion tamer here, I merely nudged you toward the beast."

"Sasori…"

"I will make it up to you, Izumi. I'll find you something to remember me by as well. Something nice," he assured.

"Fine. You better." I accepted his plea bargain begrudgingly.

Kakuzu finished up and we all filtered out of the shop. I paused, staying back for a second to thank the sassy old shopkeeper.

"No need to thank me, dear. It truly was my pleasure," she said smiling and pulling a photo from her waist belt.

"Here. Take this. If you ever need proof of what we were discussing earlier…well, you just look at this," she said wryly, holding it out to me with a shaky hand.

I took it from her, more than curious. It was a photo of Itachi and me. In a sense, anyway. We weren't exactly posing together, we weren't even particularly close together, there must have been a few meters between us.

Clearly neither of us knew the photo was being taken, it was a candid. I don't know what I was looking at in it, probably something shiny in the distance, but Itachi was looking at me . He was looking at me with an expression that I hadn't been allowed to see.

But there it was in the photo. My heart clenched at the image. I'd seen the expression on him before but… that was then. And this was now. But if he was still looking at me like that now… what did it all mean?

Probably just that he's still a man and still has needs. Don't overthink it, Izumi.

"You better catch up to your friends, dear."

Her voice snapped me out of it, I realized I'd been staring speechlessly at the photo for too long.

"Right, sorry, thank you so much!" I pushed out quickly as I tucked the picture into my belt and ran out the door. I could hear her giggling to herself as I left.

I caught up to the group in a rush. Kisame was leading the way. "Hey, we better at least start making our way towards the bookstore. I think it's this way."

He gave me an extra pointed look. "You stay close to at least one of us at all times, remember?"

"I remember," I whined, annoyed but guilty as charged. He must have noticed I lagged behind for a second.

Notes:

LOVE THESE GUYS IN YUKATAS.

Seriously, I just couldn't resist. They are too cute.

A little fluffy slice of life garbage before... stuff happens :3

As always, thanks for reading, love you crazy people 3

Chapter 38: Ominous Predictions

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

We made our way through the crowd and Kisame told me to speak up if I saw anything I wanted to do or eat. There was nothing I didn't want to try. We literally ate our way up the packed, festive streets, stopping to try all sorts of food and games along the way.

I had to practically beg Kakuzu to take me over to a game that involved tossing a ball into a sea of fish bowls. If the ball managed to land in one, you got to keep the fish. Simple enough, right?

Well boy howdy, was it not .

Kakuzu was quickly becoming irritated as he shelled out yet another coin for yet another try.

"What do you need a fish for? We've already got Kisame," he grumbled as he dropped some money into the hand of a rather terrified looking wisp of a man running the game. Kakuzu had an interesting effect on people.

The man was trembling as he dropped another ball into my little hand with a quiet, "good luck, Miss." I'm sure he meant it, the sooner I won, the sooner we'd leave.

"True, but this one won't gossip as much… and besides, it's not for me ," I said, giving Kakuzu a chiding look before carefully lining up my shot, tongue peaking from the corner of my mouth.

It hit the rim and bounced to the ground. Again.

Another miss. I, for one, am shocked.

I pouted and gave Kakuzu a look somewhere between apologetic and expectant, eyes flickering between his coin purse and the shaking man once more. I smiled, holding my hand out.

He frowned. "No. That's it. You're terrible at this."

"Well how the heck am I supposed to get better if I can't keep trying?" I whined, hanging on his arm. He scowled, eventually looking away from me at the fish.

"Which one do you want?" he asked begrudgingly.

There were a bazillion different colors, but I did have my eye on one in particular. It was a grouchy looking fish, not colorful at all, black and gray and it's mouth blubbed like it was muttering angrily to itself. It's eyes were beady and had an iridescence that shifted between green and red depending on the lighting.

"That one," I said, pointing at the grumpy little guy.

Kakuzu looked at the other fish, all orange and red and speckled and happy looking, then to the one I picked.

"You want that one?" he asked, giving me a look.

"Yes," I said, giving him an extra pleading pout.

"How idiotic..." he muttered before addressing the frail man who clearly wanted us to be done with his booth. "How much for that fish?" Kakuzu asked with disdain, not quite believing those words were coming out of his mouth.

"Y-you can't just buy a fish, you have to w-win it, s-sir," he stammered.

Kakuzu seemed to growl somewhere deep in his chest. That was the wrong answer.

The man cowered under the violent gaze of Kakuzu and I quickly took it upon myself to intervene, my tiny hands finding one of Kakuzu's.

"Well you could always win it for me then?" I asked sweetly, squeezing his hand.

He cocked a brow at me. "Go pull that shit on Hidan or Deidara. Just who the hell do you think I am, Izumi? "

"Someone with better coordination than me?" I asked hopefully, continuing to squeeze and ignoring the first half of his comment. I smiled up at him as big as I could.

He scoffed and practically threw his money at the puddle of a man.

"Give me a fucking ball," he demanded, receiving one very readily despite his lack of manners.

He threw it.

I cringed as I watched it bounce right into the bowl... and then right back out.

"Uh oh…" I whispered, taking a step away from Kakuzu. It was obvious that the shape of the fish bowls were meant to make a loser out of everyone. Surely this would not go over well.

The slow, deliberate turn of Kakuzu's head shifting to regard the carney would have made anyone shudder, and shudder he did.

"What kind of fucking scam is this?!" Kakuzu snapped. The vein in his forehead had its own freaking lifeforce.

I could hear Hidan cackling nearby. He was looking over and watching the scene unfold from an adjacent booth where a few of the guys were testing their strength and absolutely destroying some sort of contraption meant to gauge one's physical prowess. The carney looked to be sobbing.

I scowled, feeling like I ought to go over there and put the kibosh on their version of fun , but I had my own situation to deal with. The Kakuzu situation.

Hey if you ever learn an instrument, that's a rad band name.

I idly wondered who else would join my band and what we'd all play. It dawned on me that Deidara could play three kazoos at once and this was a very niche mental image that I enjoyed more than I should have.

Kakuzu seeming like he might commit a murder snapped me back to attention.

The carney was stuttering and trying to appease him. "O-oh… well would y-you look at th-that," he said, making no sudden movements, slowly picking the ball up and dropping it into one of the fish bowls with a pink little guppy in it. "N-no scam, sir. Y-you did it. Hoorayy…?" He offered a dithery smile and a weak clap.

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed.

The man looked confused, he thought he'd placated the giant, but it was clear that was not the case. I shook my head, grabbing his attention and pointing to the left discreetly.

The poor guy seemed so bewildered. He shakily picked up the ball again and I nodded vigorously at him. He moved it to the left, hovering over a different bowl. I shook my head, pointing even further. He moved it even more left and looked at me again. I smiled broadly and gave him a thumbs up.

He dropped it into the bowl.

"There. I won," Kakuzu said curtly.

"Indeed you d-did, sir!" He said, bagging up the little grumper of a fish as quickly as humanly possible and shoving it into Kakuzu's hands. "M-many thanks for playing!"

Kakuzu gave the man a stern look. "Pathetic…" he muttered, turning and pushing the bag at me.

I took it with a smile, raising it in front of my face to get a better look. He was even grumpier up close and I squealed with delight.

"Thank you, Kakuzuuu," I sang, hugging his arm.

He pulled out of my grip after a moment. "Knock it off."

"Fine. But hey, I got you something," I said, holding the fish out for him. "His name is Lucky."

He deadpanned, the vein making it's second debut.

"Izumi… are you telling me all of that... was just for me… to win a fucking fish… for myself?" he asked dangerously.

I scrunched my face at him disapprovingly. "Well I helped, you know," I said, hand on hip.

I continued holding the bag out expectantly.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" he asked, not taking it.

"I thought it would be nice for you to have a little friend, geez." I held it out even more.

"Tch… I don't want it." He folded his arms.

"Come on! You guys look exactly the same!" I cried, gesturing between his upsetti spaghetti face and the fish's.

" What ?" he bellowed with a very severe tone. That was apparently not what he wanted to hear...

Lucky blubbed. He was a good fish.

"I'm just saying… you're both all cute and cranky…" I muttered with a pout, lowering the bag to my side.

"Fine. Have it your way," Kakuzu said with an edge.

I felt the bag tug from my fingers, spindly black tendrils quickly wrapping around it and tearing it away from me. There was a moment of tension before the bag burst, water splashing to the ground, causing me to jump back with a yelp.

I watched in horror as poor little Lucky was promptly secured by the creepy threads and sucked into Kakuzu's body from an opening in his wrist.

"What the heck !" I hissed, gaping at his arm like I could will the fish back out with my disgust alone. It stitched itself back up like nothing had even happened. I half expected for it to let out a little burp.

I launched myself at him, trying to pry his wrist back open with enough effort to make my face go red, but he just stared down at me coolly, mildly entertained.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted me to have a friend. Now he's with me forever." Kakuzu said, He knew that was not what I meant.

Hidan's voice was thick with amusement as he piped up from behind us, dropping a giant stuffed octopus on my head. "What the fuck did I just watch? You collecting fucking fish hearts now, Kakuzu?"

"It's my fetish," he replied, cold and serious.

I was seriously grossed out and mad but I couldn't help myself from laughing at that. Kakuzu humor was rare and short-lived, it needed to be appreciated to its fullest during such elusive instances.

I noticed the carney had passed out and was slumped against the table. Poor guy, must have seen the whole thing.

So much for a low profile .

"That's not funny, Kakuzu," I reprimanded, still laughing a little.

"This is how I've stayed alive as long as I have, are you saying you want me to die, Izumi?" he questioned with a pointed glare. Oh, he was being all feisty now.

"I don't think the fish heart is going to help," I tutted, grappling with the octopus stuffy and now a unicorn as well as Deidara showed up and shoved it at me with a grin. Sasori added a massive stuffed gyoza with a little smiley face on it and Kisame was behind me, fitting my face with a pair of glasses made entirely of crazy, bendy straws.

I was drowning in plushies, bewildered and thanking them all profusely.

Itachi appeared quietly at my side, plucking them from me one by one and cautiously storing them in a scroll.

I gave him a thankful look and he nodded with a small smile.

"So what'd you win her, Kakuzu?" Kisame asked.

I cut in before he could answer. "We're done talking about it," I said sternly, giving Kakuzu the stink eye. He seemed to get some enjoyment out of it.

Hidan started laughing and whispered what happened to Kisame who also devolved into hysterics.

So glad they all think it's hilarious. Psychos. The whole lot of them.

Kisame eventually settled and started leading us again.

I could see the bookshop they were talking about in the distance. It was huge , it must have been absolutely filled to the brim with all sorts of books. I was getting more and more excited as we got closer.

Before we got there though, there was one stand in particular that piqued my interest.

I skipped to catch up to Hidan and grabbed his hand, inwardly justifying the affection as seemingly platonic considering I'd done the same with Kisame and Kakuzu.

Suuuure.

"What's up, sweetheart?" He asked, squeezing my hand back with a knowing little smile.

"Can we do that?" I asked, popping onto my tippy toes and pointing to a small, run down looking tent with one boy occupying it, a child. He sat at a small, round table covered in a velvet cloth. Upon it was nothing but the boy's slightly dirty hands, a deck of cards, and several large crystals scattered about.

"That? Even though we've already clearly established that I'm psychic?" Hidan whined, taking great offense.

I gave him a pout.

He sighed, shaking his head. "Fine, fine, whatever you want, it's your fucking birthday," he said, starting to pull me behind him in that direction.

"I'm taking Izumi over to this fucking thing, we'll catch up," he called out to the others, all scattered within the vicinity.

Kakuzu grunted and said he would go to secure lodging. I could see Itachi stop and say something to Kisame before breaking away from the group to come over.

Hidan glared at him on his approach. "Nah, you can fuck off, I can handle babysitting for a little," he said, sneering.

He thinks he's the one babysitting… that's cute.

Itachi stared at him, blank and dismissive.

He spoke to me. "My apologies for being overbearing. I have orders to make sure I'm with you at all times in case of… an emergency," he said, his stare flickering between my face and my hand in Hidan's.

In case of the blood curse. I understood. So that's why he'd been watching me so intently.

"Ugh, of course you fucking do…" Hidan grumbled, and pushed through the crowd with me in tow behind him. Itachi followed a few paces behind.

The sea seemed to part for Hidan, even in a thick crowd. Even without his massive weapon glinting ominously on his back, he was still inherently commanding enough for people to just somehow know to stay out of his way.

"You know this stuff is bullshit, right?" Hidan asked as we made our way over.

"Coming from a fellow psychic? Color me confused, I thought you ought to have more faith, Hidan," I teased.

"Tch… or maybe I'm actually a fraud and that's how I fucking know this little punk is too."

"Oh good lord, it's just a little boy, would it kill you to be nice for a few minutes?"

"Mhm, you figured out my weakness. That's the one thing that can actually kill me."

"You know what? Suddenly everything makes so much sense," I mused.

He smirked and squeezed my hand.

I squeezed back. "Please be nice."

"It's probably just some street urchin kid trying to make a buck," he protested.

"All the more reason," I pointed out as we reached the modest shop.

The little boy barely acknowledged us. He didn't look up at all, but he did speak.

"Sit," he directed.

He was oddly ethereal and intimidating for a child at maybe eleven or twelve years old. Both his hair and eyes were a very pale lavender and his skin was so untouched by sun it was practically translucent.

I promptly sat without question, taking note of Itachi just behind and to my side and Hidan at the other.

The boy began expertly shuffling a deck of worn, but intricately detailed cards. Rearranging the crystals on the table, he fanned the cards across the velvet tablecloth in a fluid sweeping motion.

"You're nervous," the boy said. It wasn't really a question but I felt like I was supposed to answer for it.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked with a wince.

"It is," he answered my rhetorical question. He was certainly lacking in social skills. I wondered what kind of life he lived. He spoke in a manner very different from most children his age.

"I've never done this before and you're…. weirdly intimidating if I'm being perfectly honest," I said with a dithery laugh.

"I know," he said blankly.

I wasn't sure which part he was saying that to.

He was all done setting up, his pale gaze settling on me. "You have something important on your mind. Something that worries you. You're looking for answers."

"Wow... um, yeah actually. You kinda nailed it," I said, becoming increasingly more intrigued by whatever little journey we were about to embark on.

Hidan scoffed and muttered under his breath. "Give me a fucking break with this vague ass shit…probably fucking says that to everyone."

I shot him a look and returned my attention to the boy who seemed unbothered by the remark.

"Is this going to, like… tell me my future?" I asked, feeling dumb.

"It will hint at what could be. The most likely path. But paths can always change…" he explained matter-of-factly. "Think hard on what has been bothering you. The thing you have questions about. You don't need to tell me what it is, just keep it in the front of your mind… then draw a card." He gestured to the deck spread across the table.

"Okay…" I said, focusing hard on the thing that had encompassed many of my thoughts lately.

Orochimaru.

What his intentions were with me… and if he was … my father .

It felt weird to even think it. I hadn't even told anyone about my internal suspicions surrounding him because I could hardly come to terms with the question in my mind, let alone vocalizing the gut-wrenching thought.

I hovered my hand over the cards.

"You draw whichever one draws you," the boy encouraged quietly.

I hesitated before pulling one from the middle, slowly sliding it out and away from it's buddies.

The kid was like a human sedative. He was just so eerily calm when he spoke. He actually reminded me of Sasori a bit.

"This card will tell us something about the immediate future… you can flip it over," he said.

I breathed in through my nose as I revealed it. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous. Hidan was probably right in that this kid was likely full of beans, but I couldn't help but feel jittery about it.

The card displayed a woman clad in intricate robes, some high-ranking member of the clergy. Scrawled across the bottom in fanciful text it read "The High Priestess".

I looked at the boy who appraised it with an interested look.

"Is this… a good or bad card to get?" I asked hesitantly.

"Neither. As is true with many of these cards. It's all up to interpretation. The High Priestess represents secrets and hidden circumstances… they are standing in the way of what you seek to understand."

Oddly accurate .

"Okay, weird… so does this mean I'll actually puzzle some of it out soon?" I asked.

He stared at me and I struggled to maintain eye contact under his blank, steadfast gaze.

Finally he spoke. "This does make me think you will uncover some of these secrets… though the opposite could be true. Mysteries could become even more shrouded."

"That's a fucking cop out answer." Hidan said what I was thinking, admittedly.

"It is the only one I have. The cards are simply a portent, they do not definitively tell the future," the boy replied calmly, staring at the cards.

He digressed. "The next card you draw will show a glimpse further out," the boy said, waiting for me to choose again. My gaze lingered on the face of the priestess.

She looked so calm and sure of herself. It seemed like a load of biscuits to me. How could she when she knew all these secrets were standing in her way? Maybe she knew she would figure it out… I wished I were as confident.

Sighing, I drew another card, flipping it over to reveal an odd image that struck a dour tone somewhere deep inside me.

Eight swords stuck out of the ground with a figure in the middle of them, cloth bindings wrapping around their torso, tying their arms to their sides and continuing up the body to wrap around the neck and even further to cover the eyes as well.

The boy looked at it with knitted brows.

I frowned. "Sooo, I know you said most of the cards aren't really good or bad, but I have a sneaking suspicion that this one is distinctly bad," I said, staring at the card with a defeated expression.

He hummed pensively. "It's the Eight of Swords… I'll admit, it's more ominous than not."

"What's it mean?" I asked, wanting to know but at the same time, not really.

"You may find yourself helpless in the hands of others… others who care little for you."

Hidan snorted from behind. "That's how you know this is bullshit. Everyone besides this fucking idiot," Hidan gestured vaguely to Itachi, "is fucking crazy about this girl. She's in good hands, kid, I assure you."

Oh, Hidan. So rude, yet so sweet.

The boy actually looked at Hidan, acknowledging him for the first time. He was unfettered and cold in his response.

"Perhaps you're right. For now, anyway," he said, returning his attention to me.

"You're a little shithead, aren't you?" Hidan grumbled.

Itachi was busy glaring at Hidan in a very disapproving way, looking to be deep in thought, perhaps sussing out what Hidan knew to make a comment like that. I would have to scold Hidan later.

Remarks like that were drama-juice and I didn't need anyone guzzling it.

"Sorry for my friend," I apologized to the boy quietly.

"It's alright. Not everyone is capable of expanding their minds enough to appreciate the art of tarot reading," he replied.

"This little fucking shit," Hidan murmured incredulously from behind me.

The boy continued on, expertly ignoring Hidan at his leisure. It was really quite impressive. Hidan tended to get most people's goats. Now it seemed like his goat was getting gotten.

"The next card you draw will be the last. It will reveal a future even further out. Make sure you keep focusing on the subject you seek answers about. Keep it in your mind's eye," the boy said.

I nodded, more nervous than ever, given my previous draw.

I pulled a card from the edge and flipped it over.

"Hm," the boy hummed in approval. "Strength. Now I would say this is a good one."

The card depicted a young woman clad in white, flowers adorning her hair. There was a lion at her side. With a smile on her face, she stroked it's mane, calming the beast.

I thought back to when Sasori had only just referred to me as a lion tamer not even an hour ago. The hairs on my arms and neck raised like goose flesh.

I tried to brush it off. "Well that's a joke. Look at me, I haven't been strong a day in my life," I laughed, trying to shake the odd, anxious feeling.

He shook his head. "It's not physical strength. It represents the kind of strength that's superior because of it's clever application. Strength of mind and cleverness are far more useful than brute force. So perhaps you do fall into a bad situation… but there are always ways out, if one is clever enough. It looks like the fates think you might be."

"But the future can change. Paths can change," I reminded, though it was more of a question.

"That's right," he said, nodding.

While it was admittedly vague, it also gave me a lot to think about. A lot to worry about. I did not like that second card.

The boy gathered up the cards and began shuffling them again.

I looked to Hidan. "Can I have some money?" I asked, standing and tapping on the little jar on the table that had some coins in it.

"You actually want to pay for that horseshit?" he balked.

"I would like to pay for the service just rendered to me, yes," I said pointedly, my empty hand out and waiting, the other on my hip.

Hidan glared at it. I knew he wasn't like Kakuzu, he really didn't give a flying fart about money, so that wasn't why he didn't want to pay the kid. He genuinely thought I was getting swindled somehow.

"Stop being so rude," I said, glaring back.

"I'm rude? The kid's a dick," Hidan crossed his arms, clearly making no move to pay the boy.

My hand was suddenly filled with coins.

"Hopefully that's enough," Itachi said, dropping one last coin into my palm.

"Thank you, Itachi . Nice to see someone has manners," I said, very much over-exaggerated to make my point.

"Un-fucking-believeable…" Hidan muttered, redirecting his glare at Itachi who was not looking at him.

I dropped the coins into the jar and thanked the boy.

"I'd like to read your friends. I'll do it free of charge. They seem interesting," The boy said bluntly, eyeing Hidan and Itachi.

"Oh, fun! What do you guys say, you wanna do it?" I asked, whipping around and staring up at them all bright-eyed and hopeful.

Itachi shifted uncomfortably.

Hidan scoffed but sat down with a smirk, much to my surprise, plopping into the chair in a way that had me shocked he didn't break it.

"Sure. Let's see him try his bullshit on me."

The boy smiled for the first time since we'd arrived. He spread the cards out and rearranged the crystals once more.

"Think of something important to you, something you want clarification ab-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I know the fucking schtick. I got it," Hidan cut him off, tapping his temple and grabbing a card, flipping it over and slapping it onto the table.

Always so aggressive…

The boy looked at it, seemingly enjoying the surprise of a card he hadn't expected.

"The Lovers". It was written in script beneath two skeletons holding each other in an embrace.

"Shit yeah, I got skeletons about to fuck," Hidan said, obviously pleased with his card. "Does that mean I win?"

"Very interesting. The Lovers represents a deeply felt mutual attraction. Love and intense affection, however long it lasts. This is surprising."

I was hoping my face wasn't showing that I was as flushed as I felt. I was seriously beginning to think this kid was the real deal. Everything seemed to make a bit too much sense. Surely that card was about Hidan and I.

"Tch, what's so surprising about it?" Hidan asked.

"'Mutual'. It means someone returns your affections. I'm simply having a hard time picturing anyone reciprocating such feelings with you."

"Why you little fuck," Hidan ground out and instinctively reached behind his shoulder but his scythe was stored in a scroll for the time being. He only found me there, my hands pressing down on his shoulders to keep him in place.

I knew as soon as I heard the comment that Hidan wouldn't take it well and I had already prepared to calm him down. I, myself, was trying to keep from laughing too hard, even Itachi looked surprisingly amused at the boy's lackadaisical insult to Hidan.

The boy smiled. "It's a good card, regardless of my opinions. Though it is only indicative of the near future. The next card will show us further out."

Hidan rolled his eyes and sneered at the kid before grabbing another and slapping it down.

A lone figure. A man pierced by six swords.

"How interesting you both got sword cards on your second pull," the boy said with more inflection as he seemingly became more invested. He looked between Hidan and me.

"Yeah, fucking neat ," Hidan said, feigning interest, and not well.

"This is a card of loss," the boy said sharply, trying to impart on him the severity of it.

"Pft, maybe for you. I could get stabbed six thousand times and I'd still live to see tomorrow."

"That seems highly unlikely. Regardless though, it's not that type of loss. Not blood loss or loss of life. It's the loss of a battle, an internal one. You're fighting some mental battle, at war in your head, and you're going to lose," the boy said, keenly taking in Hidan's souring reaction.

"Fuck you I am," Hidan spat much more viciously than I expcted. His emotion spiked and I had to put some serious effort into keeping him seated. I squeezed his shoulders, reminding him to keep his cool.

The boy had hit a nerve, that much was clear. Itachi and I exchanged a look, both of us seemingly trying to figure out exactly what nerve it was.

"That's fucking stupid. This whole thing is fucking stupid." Hidan continued on, the vein in his forehead becoming increasingly more prominent as he did so.

It was obvious that Hidan was suddenly no longer having fun. My hands rubbed across his shoulders, thumbs pressing and sliding, giving him somewhat of a mock massage. I needed him to relax.

"Come on, what are you getting all worked up for if you don't believe in this stuff? It's just for fun, Hidan," I reminded, a little worried about his quickly growing anger. He seemed to soften under my touch. Itachi was keeping a wary eye on him as well.

"Yeah. Whatever. One more, right?" he asked impatiently, already grabbing at another. Two cards came, however.

"Oh, they're stuck together. How intriguing. You better draw them both then," The boy directed.

"Fine," Hidan said, flipping them both over.

"Oh my…" the boy said, staring at the cards with an intensity. Hidan looked annoyed that the boy was withholding the meaning at his leisure but was also too proud to ask for it.

The first card depicted a tower on fire, bodies falling from the top of it. It was calamity and destruction.

The second card depicted a skeletal hand holding a wand, a bright light shining out from behind it.

The boy hummed looking at them.

"You gonna fucking tell me what the shit this is or what?" Hidan broke down and asked impatiently.

"I think they're two possible outcomes… perhaps you're just as likely to go down either path, it is far from decided."

"Fucking cool , what are they?" He asked. We needed to work on his social graces.

"Well, The Tower represents a spectacular ambition that ends with disastrous results. The other is the Ace of Wands. Ace cards are significant. It means something remarkable will happen. Something involving growth, a drastic change. Perhaps in you, maybe someone close to you. It's not necessarily good or bad, just change."

Hidan was focused intently on The Tower card. I'm not sure he realized how intensely he was scowling at it.

"I don't like doing even number card readings. You should draw one more. Maybe it will tell us how this resolves."

Wordlessly, Hidan snatched another and slammed it down.

"The fuck is it?" He asked immediately, no longer caring to keep up the appearance that he wasn't buying it.

The boy frowned. "It's The Wheel of Fortune. It just means the outcome is uncertain, which only confirms my suspicions that you are split between two fates. You should be careful."

Hidan leaned towards him. "I think you should fucking be careful with the shit that comes out of that bratty mouth of yours." He stood up quickly, taking care to knock the table over, sending all the cards scattering to the ground.

"Hidan, that's enough!" I cried, horrified at his behavior toward the child. I immediately took to apologizing profusely, bending down to help pick up the cards.

Itachi caught my wrist, pulling me back up.

He looked pointedly at Hidan. "You thought it was a good idea to have her down in the dirt picking up cards after she just got this new yukata?" Itachi asked, heavily implying Hidan's idiocy as he quickly gathered the cards up himself.

I hadn't even thought about getting dirty. I guess it was a good thing Itachi did.

"She didn't have to fucking do anything. I'm sure the kid could have picked them up himself," Hidan defended.

"In what reality was Izumi not going to attempt to help? Do you not know her at all?" Itachi's voice was calm and calculated. I knew this was not going to go over well. It was very unlike Itachi to engage with Hidan like this and I braced for the explosion.

"Oh, I fucking know her… and I fucking know about you too," Hidan spat with a knowing edge and a malicious smile. "You're really going to fucking go there with me? Question how I've fucking treated her? Don't make me laugh, Uchiha."

"Stop, both of you!" I shouted with my hands out, stepping in between them, the distance of which was gradually diminishing as Hidan took a step toward Itachi. I did not want to see what would happen if they closed the gap.

Hidan was looking smug, glaring at Itachi. Itachi returned it with a cold, slate stare, his mouth set in a taut line. I knew this would happen, it was one of the reasons I didn't want to tell Hidan to begin with.

"Can we please just all calm down…?" I asked, at my wit's end.

Hidan chuffed. "Whatever. I'm done here anyway. Gonna go meet up with Kakuzu."

That was odd... Hidan never willingly wanted to hang out with Kakuzu. He did seem more than a little upset by his reading and his tiff with Itachi was just icing on the cake. Hidan looked stern and sour as we prepared to leave.

"What? You don't want to see the bookstore?" I asked, a little disappointed.

"Nah, I better not. Sorry to leave you with him," He said, looking distant, like he was focused intently on something else. I could practically hear the intensity of Itachi's glare on Hidan, but Hidan wasn't paying him any mind.

I didn't want him to go, but I also didn't like seeing him like this. It was surprising and worrying all at once, how hard he seemed to be taking it. I wondered what he was thinking of when he was drawing cards… if it was us .

I didn't want to be so self-absorbed to assume that, but based on the first card, it didn't seem too ridiculous.

If that were the case, then maybe he was upset that he thought the cards meant things wouldn't work out between us. When we had time to be alone I would have to reassure him.

"Alright well, we'll see you later then," I said, hesitantly. I couldn't keep the concern out of my voice.

"Yeah," he said, sounding distracted before heading off. I wanted to soothe and comfort him but it just wasn't possible at the moment. Especially not while we were being discreet about our romantic involvement.

I swivelled around to the boy once more, apologizing yet again.

The boy smiled lightly as Itachi handed him the deck. "It's okay," he said. "He is not the first non-believer upset by the things predicted here at this table."

The boy began shuffling again and looked at Itachi expectantly.

"And you?"

"I'll pass. Thank you," Itachi said.

"You all have been curious reads. I'd very much like to try you. It's at no cost," the boy reminded.

"I'm already well aware of my fate. I have no need for the cards."

Now that's an odd thing to say.

I stared at him. What did that mean?

"I only read in odd numbers. How about you draw just one."

The kid was persistent.

"Only one doesn't sound too bad," I said, curious myself to see what he would get.

He sighed, looking at me like he was frustrated that I seemed to want him to as well. As if that forced his hand or something. The boy spread the cards out and looked up at him hopefully. I looked at him hopefully too.

He breathed out through his nose, begrudgingly moving to draw a card. He didn't take the effort to sit but he bent down and flipped a card over.

"You really are an interesting lot…" the boy said, regarding the card and Itachi curiously.

"The Hanged Man," the boy started, holding the card up. An illustration of a man hanging upside down. His face held a solemn expression, suggesting he ended up there of his own accord. "It's a card of self-sacrifice. The martyr."

Interesting.

Itachi was the opposite of Hidan. Very much unflustered, in fact he looked like that was exactly as he expected. It worried me.

It worried me a lot.

"Well… if we're all done here. I think Kisame is waiting for us at the bookstore," Itachi said, motioning to leave. I followed after thanking the boy. He smiled and asked me to bring more friends for him to read.

Yes, because this went so well.

Itachi and I made our way through the crowd toward the bookstore. I kept staring at him to see if he, too, was having any reaction toward his reading, but he seemed like his normal self.

His normal self but in a yukata. He looked supremely cute in it and I wasn't the only one to notice. A lot of women and even some men let their eyes linger on him as we made our way through the crowd.

"Do I have something on my face?" Itachi asked suddenly, casting a look down at me and I snapped away like I wasn't obviously gaping at him.

Just a bunch of beautiful.

"No!" I shot out too quickly.

"You didn't even look," he noted, stepping out of foot traffic and pulling me out as well. He stared down at me and I stared back.

"Oh. I thought you asked because I was looking at you," I said, laughing at my own foolishness.

" You were looking at me?"

Freaking beans. Way to give yourself away.

I cringed. "Well, only for a second. I thought I saw a… spider… on your… shoulder."

Literally the worst liar.

"Ah. I see." He looked at his shoulders, one at a time. "I seem to be safe, for now."

"Yup, just a shadow I guess," I was quick to agree with an awkward shrug.

"I only asked because it feels like I've garnered some attention," he clarified, looking around uncomfortably.

"Do people not normally look at you this much?" I asked, feeling like that couldn't be true. He was always pretty.

"No. But I am usually wearing a hat that covers most of my face."

So he was feeling exposed. So he was human.

"Oh, well duh . That explains it, then. I wouldn't worry," I assured him, my hand moving to squeeze his arm instinctively. I pulled it back like I had touched something hot as soon as I realized.

He paused for a moment but seemed to gloss over it. Thank God.

"How does that explain it?" he asked, genuinely perplexed.

I facepalmed. He was really going to make me say it, wasn't he?

"Itachi…" I began quietly, somewhat pained. He waited expectantly. "I… what are you worried about? That people recognize you, even out of your Akatsuki stuff?"

"That's the concern, yes."

"Okay. Well just trust me, that's definitely not why anyone's looking at you, alright?"

"I'm not following," he said, some frustration coming through. Itachi was a genius for all intents and purposes. He clearly did not like not understanding.

"God. Itachi. Did you not look in the mirror in the shop?" I asked, starting to feel mentally exhausted.

To be fair, this is how people feel talking to you 24/7, Izumi.

"I did. Is there something wrong with my yukata?" he asked, perplexed, looking down at himself.

I was about to lose my beans.

"No. No… ugh and you thought I was impossible…" I grumbled to myself..

"What is it that I'm missing here?" he asked almost impatiently, though I'd say his tone was beginning to edge into embarrassed territory.

I all but exploded at him. "It's because you're freaking gorgeous! Okay?!"

I had stunned him into silence with my little outburst, his mouth setting into a firm line and his eyes slightly wide.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make things weird. You just… you weren't getting it," I followed up, feeling helpless like I'd done something wrong.

"I… you don't need to apologize. I'm the sorry one, I'm not usually that dense. I just haven't been out in the open like this in… in a long time," he said, eyes downcast as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Seeing Itachi struggling out of his element was absurdly endearing. He was just like a normal person for once.

I laughed, trying to lighten the mood up a bit. "It's fine, I just really don't think you need to worry. Anyone that is looking at you is doing so recreationally."

"Hm." Itachi made a noise, looking like he was processing still. "It's just been quite a number of people is all."

"Yeah… looks like you've got your pick of the litter… if you wanted to… meet a need… or whatever..." I trailed off, feeling like I probably should have shut my mouth before I even opened it.

Um. Why are you bringing that up?

"We should keep moving," I spat out hastily to vault us past my awkwardness. To my horror, Itachi did not allow this.

"Izumi…" he began, sighing and appearing to halt, searching for the right words, whatever they might have been. "We should talk about that…"

"Look, it's fine," I said, trying my absolute best to sound genuinely alright.

I actually think I did pretty good. If anything, I overdid it, sounding super super extra alright. So alright it's like I'd never known anything different. Tears? Crying? I didn't even know what those things were .

I waved it off. "I'm totally over it. Really. It was just a joke. There are a lot of beautiful women here and I… I don't know, I just thought you might be interested in something… convenient… with one of them."

I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. I couldn't even stop it. I just kept vomiting out all these things I didn't mean, but for the sake of sounding like I'd moved past him like he wanted, I just faked my way through it.

"I mean geez, if I knew your type maybe I could help keep an eye out or something," I said with a little laugh, screaming internally.

Just kill yourself now if he actually takes you up on that.

"Izumi stop, it's fin-"

"Is it blondes? I bet you like blondes. Dark hair is so common. I saw a really pretty one who was looking at you just a couple minutes ago. I bet if we hurr-"

"Izumi…"

"No no no, don't worry, she's probably right over the-"

" Izumi ," Itachi raised his voice to nearly a yell in order to cut through my incessant pandering.

I didn't like when he yelled at me. Even if I had earned it… it just struck such a terrible note. I swallowed and immediately shrunk, apologizing hurriedly under my breath with a self-loathing shake of my head.

"It's fine…" he followed up softly once he was sure I was listening. "I think at this point, let's just meet with Kisame. We're close."

I nodded, staring at the ground and twisting my fingers with my other hand.

"...Izumi?"

"Hm?"

"Are you… I've upset you," he said with realization and a knit of his brows.

"No… No, I'm alright. I'm just an idiot. Let's go see Kisame," I said, nodding too many times.

Idiot is an understatement.

I marched past him, forcing him to follow. I could see the building at the end of the street and felt confident enough to lead the way. I barrelled through the crowd. The sooner I got to Kisame, the sooner I could ensure I would stop offering to hook Itachi up with some rando.

"Hey, it's about fucking time!" Kisame was waving at us from the shop steps with several bags stuffed to the brim at his feet.

"You guys lose the religious nutjob?" he asked as we got closer.

"He's with Kakuzu," I called back. "Did you lose the art critics?"

"They wanted to get caricatures done. I'm sure they'll catch up," he said, finally able to stop shouting as we made our way up the steps to join him.

Kisame had Itachi put all the bags in the scroll that also held all the stuffed animals and refused to even let me peek.

"What was all that!?" I demanded.

"Don't worry about it," he said, waving me off.

"Kisame… I'm worried. I'm heckin' concerned. That was way too much stuff. Just tell me it wasn't all for me, at least."

He laughed. "Sure kiddo, whatever helps you sleep at night. That was an ultra plush faux fur rug and string lights and other cutesy fucking decor for my room. Obviously ."

"Well I didn't see!" I defended, but he was too busy laughing obnoxiously loud. "And you know what, none of those bags looked big enough for the giant fish you promised me."

"It's on backorder," he said confidently.

"Of course it is." I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, alright, let's head in before they close," Kisame said, ushering us towards the doors.

I stepped through the double doors and just about lost my breath at the view. Bookshelves lined the walls from floor to ceiling, which was so high you needed a ladder to get to the books on the top shelves. Not only this, but there were two floors .

The smell was pungent and odorous in the best way, musty with a light scent akin to vanilla. It was ink on paper and all things beautiful about the slow, decaying rot of pages beneath oily fingers.

I could have just stood there huffing it in. I think I did a little. A passing child glanced up at me and, looking terrified, grabbed their parent's hand.

That's fair.

"You gonna make it?" Kisame teased.

"It's just… this is amazing," I said, not feeling like that was a strong enough word.

"You look like you're gonna topple over from the high."

"Hm, give it time. I might yet. Just be ready to catch me, okay?"

"Sure thing, captain. The world is your oyster… or, at the very least, this bookstore is. Doesn't have the same ring to it though… anyway, my point is, pick out as many books as you want."

I gaped. "Seriously?"

"Deadly," he said, pulling his shades on dramatically from atop his head.

"Alright but please don't wear those in the store, you look like a creep," I admonished, looking around at the different sections, trying to plan my route.

"Keh… this is what happens when you let women read . Suddenly they have standards and opinions and it turns out poor, innocent Kisame is a creep ." He pulled his sunglasses off just so I could see him roll his eyes.

I snorted. "Innocent… that's a good one, Kisame."

"Heh, yeah, I thought you'd get a kick out of it. Now, go pick out your shit, kid."

He didn't have to tell me again. I took off and Itachi made to follow but Kisame insisted on showing him some book about something called "Kama Sutra". I'd had my fill of books in other languages but was impressed Kisame was interested in such a thing.

The sections were huge and overwhelming but I managed to find a rolling cart to put my books on when my arms became too full. I was pulling novels left and right from the fiction section. Everything just sounded so darn interesting and I wanted to explore every world I could get my little gremlin hands on.

I yanked a particularly large volume off of a middle shelf. The store was so nice and quiet that the gasp of surprise wheezing out of me as someone's face appeared on the other side of the hole I'd created sounded loads louder than it should have.

It was my brother.

"Aki?! What are you doing here!?" I hissed as quietly as I could, frantically looking around to make sure we were alone.

He seemed to smile at my usage of his name. It felt different seeing him this time. It felt like I was seeing an old friend and I kept imagining his likeness as a sweet little baby.

"Shh… just give me a minute, hear me out. Who are you here with?" he asked, also looking in a thousand directions.

"Just… just Itachi and Kisame," I said, both of whom would kill me if they knew I was engaging with this guy. But I needed to talk to him. I had questions.

"Okay… can you slip away from them?"

"Wh-what? Why on earth would I want to do that?" I asked incredulously.

"Izumi… I can't stall him any longer. You need to come home with us, with me and Orochimaru-sama. I promise we'll keep you safe." He was begging.

I'd heard it all before from him, He seemed more desperate this time though.

"I… I can't do that," I whispered, "you know I can't. I'm already where I belong. How did you even find me, by the way? Your informant was killed."

He frowned. "Yeah… that was inconvenient. While he has your blood though, Orochimaru-sama is able to track your general location."

Of course he freaking can.

"So once he uses it, he can't find me again," I determined aloud.

"Izumi, I don't think you understand. This curse won't be like last time… there's a chance it will do some serious, permanent damage or… worse. If you come with me, you won't force his hand to use it."

"Stay there," I said, glossing over everything he'd just said and moving quickly but quietly around the shelf to meet him face to face.

He stared at me, completely bemused. After a moment's hesitation, I pulled him into a fierce hug, thinking about my mom handing him to me as a perfect little bundle to protect, even if it was only in a dream.

"God… you're so much bigger now…" I said, biting back tears. I wanted to see how it felt when I held him. It felt more natural than I could have imagined. I knew it was him. My brother.

"Izumi… you… remember? You remember who I am?" he asked quietly, squeezing me back with uncontested strength.

I nodded against him, the tears falling despite my best efforts.

"Come with me," I begged. He pulled back, his face contorted with wild disbelief.

"I'm serious," I said, "the Akatsuki… they're not what you think. They would help you if I asked."

He laughed without humor. "You're insane . Have you forgotten I'm here because you're the one that needs help? Hello? Does blood curse ring a bell to you?"

I shook my head. "I saw mom. I've been seeing her in my dreams. Aki, she told me to protect you. She said you're lost. Please stay with me, I know I can help you if you'd let me try. This Orochimaru… no one has anything good to say about him and he kind of... is like… cursing the living beans out of me? It's not a great first impression."

He was growing impatient and even more leary of being found out. The longer we spoke, the greater the chance someone would come looking for me and subsequently find him.

"We don't have time for this, Iz," he said impatiently. "Orochimaru is going to put the plan into motion the minute I leave here without you. I am freaking begging you to come with me. You're my sister, you may have only just remembered me but I… I've been watching you from afar my whole life. I really don't want this to happen to you. Orochimaru-sama is worried, which means it's serious, he's taking a risk."

"I'm sorry, Aki…" my heart clenched as I spoke. I wanted to give everyone what they wanted but my heart wouldn't allow me to go with him. I shook my head. "You already have my answer… let me at least ask you a question then."

He stared at me blankly, utterly defeated.

"Orochimaru… he's your father?" I asked.

"... he is."

I breathed out deeply. That was the prerequisite question. Now it was time for the real banger.

"And I'm your sister… so does that make him… my father too?"

He opened his mouth to speak but immediately snapped it shut as Kisame's voice cut through the air.

"Iz, you up here? Kiddo?"

"I'm so sorry," was all Aki said, pain truly weighing on his features before he had to disappear.

I was so beyond frustrated that I couldn't get my answer. Not only that, but I probably needed to get to Itachi like my life depended on it.

The reality that at any moment, I could potentially dissolve into a blubbering pile of bones and flesh, perhaps never to snap back, struck me hard. The panic spread through me like wildfire.

I rushed out from behind the bookshelf straight into Kisame's broad chest. It would have knocked me on my ass if he hadn't grabbed me at the last second.

"The hell you running for?" he asked, quirking his brow.

"Kisame. The cart, I need everything on it. Can you do that for me?" I asked frantically, pointing to the cart loaded with stacks of various novels.

"Sure," he said, more than a little bewildered by my rushed, frenzied state. I also wasn't typically someone to demand things, but I didn't have time to be my usual self.

"Everything okay?" he asked, confused.

"Where's Itachi?" I asked back quickly.

"I'm right here," his voice came from around the corner and he appeared immediately after. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh thank God," I breathed out in relief as I ran up to him.

My brain was absolutely frazzled. It had me thinking it was okay to throw my arms around him. I think I just knew it was potentially the last time I might be alive and not brain dead.

I didn't care about the rules of our professional etiquette. I just knew that this might be goodbye. Realizing that, I looked back at Kisame and ran to hug him as well.

"Whoa. Not complaining but uh… what?" Kisame said, patting the top of my head and rubbing my back. I'm sure he sensed something was wrong, despite not knowing what .

"I had a similar question," Itachi said dryly.

I felt like I was working with borrowed time at that point, and much to my dismay, my brain turned to static when I tried to determine the most important things to communicate before the curse hit me.

God, you're terrible under pressure.

I squeezed Kisame harder when he tried to peel me off him. "If something happens to me, will you tell everyone how grateful I am to have gotten to know all of you? And that I love them all?"

"What the fuck? Izumi, what's going on?" He said, graduating to a shout and actually putting in the effort to remove me from him.

"Just tell me you'll do it! Please !" I yelled, my face sour and pleading.

"Y-yeah, sure, fine," he stuttered out, completely befuddled.

"And tell Hidan that I'm sorry I didn't get to s-say goodbye. Tell him I said th-thank you for e-everything." I was starting to lose it.

"Izumi, kid, you're really freaking me out." Kisame was flustered and running a hand through his hair, exchanging a look with Itachi.

I don't know when the tears started pouring down my face but they definitely were there in full force.

"You guys take care of yourselves, o-okay? I'm really sorry it had to end like this b-but I had like... the absolute best day ever. Thank you so much." I smiled through a half-laugh, half-sob, turning from Kisame to Itachi.

"Izumi…" Itachi said calmly, though his expression belied his tone. He looked distressed, to say the least. His eyes flickering across me with a criminal amount of concern. "I need you to breathe and calm down. Tell me why you think something is going to happen to you," he requested gently.

I wasn't ready to die or become a vegetable or whatever. To not see Itachi's whisper of a smile or hear Hidan's laugh cut through a room. Kisame's jokes would be no longer. No more braiding Kakuku's hair. I'd never get to see Deidara and Sasori bicker like an old married couple.

"Itachi… I'm not ready to go," I said with an overwhelming sadness, crumbling to nothing in his arms. The only reason I was upright at all was because he was holding me there against him.

"I don't know what's going on in your head right now, but I promise you, you're not going anywhere," he assured, patting my hair against the nape of my neck.

I had no idea what Kisame was doing but it sounded like mad pacing from behind me.

"I… I'm sorry, Itachi… about everything that happened between us," I said, pulling back to see his face.

My brows knitted, head tilting to one side as I took him in for potentially the last time in my life. "I never meant for it to be a bad experience for you… but you were kind to me and I never forgot that. I still meant every word I said to you..." I said, my voice tight and my entire face leaking profusely.

I touched his face and smiled in a somber way as I considered it could be the last thing I ever did.

There was an equal chance I would make it out of this fine and I'd have to deal with a little embarrassment, but if I didn't make it, I needed to at least know that I said these things.

Throughout my little breakdown, Itachi's mask dissolved quickly as he realized the severity of whatever situation I was in. He was shaking his head at me like he wanted to refute something I was saying but my name was the only thing that came out of his mouth.

It didn't matter. I didn't need him to lie to me and make me feel better. I just needed him to listen.

"What happened, Izumi? Something happened," Itachi asked, his voice uneven and foreign sounding as he held my face in his hands.

"I've been keeping something to myself," I admitted, a pained expression painting my face.

He froze before speaking again.

"That's… okay. Just tell me what it is now and we'll figure this out," Itachi said assuredly, putting in some serious effort to maintain an even voice.

I looked down at the ground. I couldn't bear to meet his eyes.

"Orochimaru's son, Aki… he's my... my b-brother. He was just here and… he tried to get me to come with him. He said if I didn't..."

A red dot marked the floor. Then another. My brows knitted together as I saw yet another one form. Touching my index finger to my nostril, I realized it was coming from me. My nose was bleeding, and bleeding a lot.

"Are you... using your abilities?" Itachi asked.

I shook my head, meeting his curious gaze with one of horror.

"Oh God… I'm so scared, Itachi. I'm not read-" I said, a pain suddenly shooting through me so horribly that I immediately lost all balance and vision. All I could hear was a terrible noise, it was loud and shrill and shrieking.

That's... you.

Oh.

There was no concept of time or space. It only felt like my skin was ripping and I soon felt warm and sticky all over my body.

I could hear Itachi in the background pleading with me to open my eyes. He sounded desperate. It didn't sound right at all. Kisame was doing something similar, sounding equally strange.

The feeling of my flesh separating in ribbons across my body made me almost miss the sensation of my eyelids being yanked open from their clenched shut position.

Itachi was over me. My hand was clutching the collar of his robe, sullying it with blood. In my brief stint of coherent thought and vision, I could see that what I'd been feeling was accurate. My skin was indeed splitting open like seams. I was like a vessel that couldn't contain what was being poured into me.

The pain was so searing and white hot that I couldn't even comprehend anything else.

Itachi was shouting something at Kisame. Kisame nodded, a horrific look marring his features as he glanced back at me before taking off. Itachi looked down at me like he was witnessing my death. It put such a terrible look in his eyes.

Someone was coming up behind him. I needed to warn him but his mangekyo sharingan flashed to life and I was lost to it.

Notes:

Alright so that was A LOT. Thank you for reading. Y'all must think I hate Izumi with how much I torture her... this poor girl :3 I assure you I do not.

And poor Hidan with whatever emotional baggage he's working through 3 (I say, as if I don't know, mwehehe) For real though, I'm excited to give this man some proper backstory and fleshing out.

A lot of plotty plot things starting to happen here (it's like I'm actually trying to finish the damn story and not get distracted by writing only smut) so buckle up. We have a bumpy ride coming up. Thanks for the support as always, my dears :3

RIP Lucky the fish. Long may he reign.

Chapter 39: Life and Death

Notes:

Content Warning: This chapter deals with heavy themes relating to death.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The pain searing the vision straight out of my head suddenly became all but null and void.

Void.

Yes, that was an appropriate word. That's where I was, a void. Weightless and lazily sailing through it, blissfully unaware of whatever horrors were taking place in reality.

Looking around and taking a foggy moment to absorb my surroundings, it felt like the air was punched out of me as I watched, completely slack-jaw at the monumental beauty of the world forming around me from nothing.

My feet touched ground, or rather, ground touched feet as it solidified beneath me, grass and wildflowers sprouting up around my wiggling toes. In mere moments, the grassy ground expanded outward in a flash. Trees bursting from the earth, flowers unfurling, water rushing and carving through the landscape to create a cascading river and trickling streams.

Some of the foliage looked like regular trees… but others appeared to be giant rods of dango sticking straight out of the ground. There were animals too. Lots of them. In fact, there were so many that they weren't even all real animals. I mean, nothing was technically real, but they were animals that didn't even exist in the real world.

From out of the river came a weighty splash and bursting from the waters surface was an enormous creature flying up into the air.

When I realized what it was, I giggled, which gave way to laughter, which further devolved into a fit of uncontrollable cackling. Reality truly felt so far away. The only thing that mattered in that moment was the giant, blue polka-dotted, flying fish barreling toward me.

I was crying from laughing so hard. It even had the saddle and sunglasses.

"Hey buddy," I cooed as it flew down and halted in front of me. It chirped and trilled as I pet the mammoth fish. There was a whole school of them flying around. My hair went wild from the breeze they created as they whizzed by me.

I'd been so distracted with the fish that I hadn't noticed any of the other world additions, but behind me was a house shaped like a giant kidney bean with a chimney pipe billowing smoke from the top, as well as several rabbits the size of horses grazing out in front of it.

I was positively surrounded by quirks and oddities and I took a moment to wonder if I was actually in heaven.

I looked back at the fish.

"You haven't seen Itachi around here, have you?" I asked. The only other times I'd been in his illusions, he was always there with me.

The fish gave me a look like, 'girl I don't know, I'm a freaking fish, you got any food?'.

Fair enough .

"You want to… show me around then? I'm kind of new here and I'm not sure how long I'll be staying." It felt odd talking to a fish, especially this fish, but it seemed to understand.

It vaulted into an aerial backflip, soaring excitedly and wiggling its tail fin as it landed in waiting for me to climb on.

"Well, I think you ought to have a name first, huh?" I said aloud, tapping my index against my chin thoughtfully as I appraised it.

"He has one, it's on his collar. You can certainly give him a new one though, I'll change it to whatever you'd like."

I whipped around to see Itachi standing behind me. The door to bean cottage was open, I guess that's where he'd bean .

Hah. Get it? That's where he'd bean?

I thought Kisame already talked to you about the puns.

Ugh. Fine.

Itachi was certainly a sight for sore eyes though. I found myself smiling widely at him.

"How are things… out there?" I asked, referring to reality.

"Don't worry about that while you're in here. I didn't make this world so you would think about the other one," he said with an indiscernible expression.

I sighed. "I can't help it… I saw someone going to attack you before I slipped in here. Are you okay?"

"I am fine, Izumi… some people came for you but it's been taken care of. I've set up a world that I hope will amuse you. Unfortunately, I can't stay long, but the world will remain without me for a little while anyway. "

I thought about that, the world he created. I thought hard on it, actually. I guess I hadn't really considered it before but these creations... he had to come up with every little detail himself.

My heart paused at the thought. Him designing this whimsy-filled dreamscape just for me. And while some of it was not entirely his idea, like the fish, a lot of it was . It kind of shocked me.

I watched a little steamed gyoza with butterfly wings and googly eyes derpily flutter by.

I couldn't even believe it came out of Itachi's brain. It seemed like something I would have made up.

I thought I'd cracked him at one point, but I came to realize I didn't know him nearly as well as I thought. I had no clue how deep this silly streak ran in him but it was the first time I really noticed or appreciated it.

"It's… incredible, Itachi," I said, looking all around me, the wonderment plain on my face.

"It's just… things I thought you would like," he said, downplaying it.

I stepped toward the happy looking fish and glanced back at Itachi. "I thought Kisame would be the one to get this for me…"

"Ah… yes, well, I may have stolen his thunder a bit there. I did try to give him some credit though," he said, gesturing to the name tag.

I grabbed it, flipping it over with a smirk to read "Kisame Jr.".

There was no resisting the snorting laugh that ensued.

"It suits him," I said thoughtfully, still laughing.

"And this... " he cleared his throat. "Kisame Jr., please smile for Izumi."

The fish grinned widely, his teeth all razor and pointed.

""Oh my God !" I cried, laughing. "Are you insinuating this is Kisame's actual child? Is that why he looks a little like him?!"

"Hm, perhaps. I imagine Kisame Jr. takes after his mother, mostly, whomever she may be," Itachi said very matter-of-factly.

I would never get the image of Kisame engaging in coitus with a giant fish out of my head.

"Ah yes," I agreed, "what with the fish body and all. The little tyke has his smile though."

"And his sunglasses," Itachi added.

I snorted. He could be funny when he wanted to.

"Mm, an often overlooked genetic trait," I concurred. He smiled lightly, looking at the fish.

I said, "You know I'm going to have to tell Kisame all about this when I wake up, right? I'm sure he'll just love that we have a head canon of him hooking up with a giant, lady fish."

Itachi's smile, however small it was to begin with, faltered. I didn't assume it was at the thought of Kisame finding out about his fictional, secret fish love child.

I moved to sit at the edge of the river bank, letting my feet dangle in the water. It was the perfect temperature… of course.

I looked back at him and tried to smile enough for both of us. "I… I'm not waking up, am I?"

It was strange to say with a smile but if I didn't, I think I would have just cried. I was tired of crying.

Itachi sat beside me and I admired the simple innocence of that image, both our feet dangling in the crystal river waters on a sunny day, like nothing could be wrong. Like my body wasn't dying and I wasn't trapped in a seemingly eternal dreamscape.

It was just a nice day, and we were just friends catching up.

Itachi finally spoke. "You will. Everyone is working to make sure you do," he said, oddly cold.

He wanted to believe what he was saying but I could tell he wasn't confident in the truth behind his own words. Was he trying to convince me or himself? It was unsuccessful either way, it would seem.

"How long have I been out?" I asked, fidgeting. "I feel like I've only been here for ten minutes."

"Time is strange in here... You shouldn't worry about it," he said calmly.

I hated when he dodged me like that.

"Itachi… will please just give me a straight answer? I can't stand the thought of being the last one to know what's going on with my own self." I was pleading with him at that point.

He looked uncomfortable, averting his gaze. "It's been almost a week."

"Almost a week ?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "A lot has happened… your body is trying to recover from the external physical injuries, they were… extensive. The internal ones are proving to be even more stubborn. We hope once they heal, you will wake up."

I probably should have cried or been upset, but I just kept smiling.

"Well, I have to wake up." I said, decidedly so. "I really think that tarot reader was the real deal and those predictions haven't come true yet so… it can't be over, not yet… right?"

That wasn't what Itachi expected from me. The corners of his lips upturned.

Such an incessant optimist you are all of a sudden, Izumi.

"Izumi, I wanted to ask you... what were you thinking of during tarot?"

"Oh, right… I didn't get a chance to tell you, really. I suppose this is as good a time as any." I said with a sigh. "So Aki… you know he's orochimaru's son… well, he's also... my brother."

"You actually managed to get that out at the last minute. It was… confusing to piece together in the moment," he said with a sideways glance.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Sorry about that… and for all the crying and stuff I said. I suppose I was just worried I'd never see you again." I laughed. "Looks like that could still be true."

"Please don't… joke like that," he said, pulling a hand down his face. He looked tired even in this fake world.

"I'm sorry, it's just that… if I don't laugh, I think I'm just going to scream," I said, trying to refocus on what we had been talking about before.

Orochimaru.

Right.

"...Anyway, I'd gotten some memories back and Aki was in them… and I'm just really scared that… if he's my brother..." I trailed off. I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud.

"You're afraid Orochimaru is also your father," Itachi finished for me. Thank God he was smart.

I nodded, kicking my dream foot through the dream water.

"You all hate him. I don't even know him and I hate him. If everyone knew… they'd just hate me too. I didn't want to bring it up until I knew for sure."

"Izumi. Even if it were true… you are nothing like him. Nothing . Everyone knows that. No one would hold it against you," he said, his stoic mask dropping just a bit to show a sympathetic tilt of his brows as he looked over at me.

"I would…" I said quietly.

Let's change the subject.

"How is everyone?" I asked, hopeful and wanting to live vicariously through literally anyone else.

Itachi sighed heavily and shifted uncomfortably. "It's been… busy."

"What do you mean?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"The Akatsuki is moving forward with other plans. We're all going to be very occupied between that and you. We switched bases as well."

"Orochimaru knew where the old one was..." I guessed at the cause.

Itachi nodded.

"How is Hidan?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I should, but I needed to know. Hidan wasn't exactly Itachi's fave.

Itachi paused to formulate his answer. That couldn't mean anything good. "He's… Hidan."

"Wow." I deadpanned. "What a twist, never saw that one coming."

He decided to elaborate, given my scathing use of sarcasm.

"He's been having issues regulating his… emotions. Even more so than usual, anyhow. If I'm being honest, he's not doing well. He's with you quite often though, Kakuzu is too."

"Kakuzu?" I asked. Now that surprised me.

"Yes, he's…" Itachi trailed off, shaking his head with a small disbelieving laugh, "he's been learning actual medical ninjutsu , I mean beyond crude stitches and salves, if you can believe it. Your room is full of books on it. He is in there studying a lot. Hidan is in there… cursing a lot."

My heart melted at the thought. I could so see it.

"Izumi, I'm sorry, but my time is limited," Itachi said, suddenly looking distracted. "I will try to keep the illusion going for you as long as possible. I'll be travelling soon, unfortunately… so it will go away eventually. Your body is technically in a coma, so you should just be in a normal sleep state when you're not in here."

Great .

My so-called 'normal sleep state' was a veritable breeding ground for macabre visions.

"That's okay," I lied with a smile. "I suppose I can't be a choosey beggar, huh? This is already a bit off-book from your job description, right? Some serious 'other duties as assigned' kinda stuff."

Itachi gave me a pained smile.

I pushed past it. "I'm just saying, I know you don't have to do this at all, so I appreciate it, Itachi…" I said, touching his arm. "And… um, for what it's worth, I just wanted to say... I'm sorry I made your job so hard. I know you were supposed to keep me safe since I'm an asset... or whatever. I know that was important to you, and I just… I don't know, I need you to know I really wasn't trying to screw things up. I hope Pain isn't too upset," I said, looking away at the end, too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

"It's… okay," he said, still pained. When I looked back, he averted his own gaze in a way that made me think there was more he wanted to say but it didn't come.

"Thanks for visiting… and for creating all of this for me," I said, welling up, gesturing to everything around me. I really didn't want him to go.

What happened to being tired of crying?

Shut up.

"You don't need to thank me for this…" he said, stalling like he knew he needed to go but was not moving to leave yet. It felt like he had something more to say yet again, but I wouldn't hold my breath, not with him.

"Itachi?" I asked, turning to him.

"Yes?" He answered quickly.

"What if… after you leave… my body dies out there?" I asked timidly, picking at my nails. "... Am I stupid to be afraid? ...Afraid of dying alone in here?"

I let my head fall against his shoulder, staring down at our feet lazing about in the water.

He took a moment to ponder.

"Death is… hm. I suspect it is likely easier to accept when it's sudden, when you don't have much time to think about it. When you see it coming for you in the distance… and you are forced to meet it's gaze as it stares you down on its slow approach… no, you are not stupid for fearing it. I think I would as well..."

It was a much longer, detailed response than I expected from the Uchiha.

"You sound like you've thought about it before," I said.

"Doesn't everyone?" he said absently.

"Maybe in your profession… I'd never given it much thought."

"Men like Kakuzu seek ways of becoming immortal. Why do you think that is?" Itachi asked.

I hadn't really thought about that before. Not the 'why' of it all. I just kind of accepted it as something morally questionable people did in general.

I really needed to work on my critical thinking.

"Even he's scared of death," I said quietly, finding it hard to imagine Kakuzu afraid of anything.

"No one truly escapes it from what I've seen, they can delay it sometimes but... it's the one thing that we will all have in common. It's not wrong to fear it, but Izumi..." he said, moving his arm hesitantly from beneath my head to around my shoulder.

"You're not dying any time soon." He pulled me against him more assuredly.

I knew it wasn't real. Our bodies weren't real. But it felt so real.

"I promise you that," he murmured, taking it a step further by pulling me onto his lap, both arms coming to hold me there against his chest.

I sighed into it, feeling light and airy and heartbroken all at once.

Heartbroken to know this wasn't real, and that he was likely saying these things to me because it's exactly what you say to a dying person to make them feel better.

And it did make me feel better, even though it also felt like goodbye.

"You can't know that…" I said into his chest.

His hand smoothed down my hair and held my head there. "Just wait a little longer. Let us handle this."

Itachi had all but abandoned our 'professional' protocol. It felt like how it used to be between us as I took comfort in his embrace.

Talk about heartbreaking...

I would have spent more time feeling confused or even guilty if there wasn't the distinct possibility that it would be the last ounce of affection I'd possibly squeeze from this life.

"Okay… say hi to everyone for me?" I asked quietly.

"Of course. I'll see you soon, Izumi," he said. I noted he was careful not to say 'goodbye'.

I nodded against him and found myself just sitting there alone the next moment.

"Looks like it's just you and me, KJ," I said to Kisame Jr. with a sigh.

He grinned and lowered down so I could climb on.

Much of my time was spent simply seeing the sights. There were trees made of billowing tufts of cotton candy and rivers running green with tea. It was actually quite amazing how much of the environment Itachi chose to make edible. I would have to compliment him on the selection if I ever saw him again.

When. When you see him again.

My alter had taken to encouraging my optimism which was almost always a bad sign.

Itachi was correct in that it was just like sleeping when I wasn't in his dimension. And, as is true with dreaming, you aren't exactly aware of how much time has passed between each one or even the fact that you're in a dream at all. Sometimes it just felt like real life.

Some dreams were my usual, terrible nightmares which I was growing an unhealthy tolerance for. I typically just waited them out, they'd become so common.

But other times they were normal. Normal enough anyway.

The strangest part about them was that in my rare moments of semi-clarity, it felt like they were influenced by what was happening around me in the real world. Like I could hear what was going on around my body and my brain would try to make sense of it by inserting whoever I was hearing into whatever dream I was already having.

Sometimes it was amusing, what was happening around me.

Sometimes it was downright horrifying.

Many times, the only thing I would hear was just pages turning and the mad scribbling of graphite on parchment, punctuated every now and then by some gruff, frustrated sighs and a hum of chakra.

I would typically dream myself into a library during those moments. Kakuzu would be there at my table, often wearing something entirely too nerdy, though I'd admit he looked good in glasses.

At times, he'd light the books aflame and they'd flutter over to hug me. It felt so nice and warm.

On one such occasion, I did start to become a little too warm. Kakuzu had just sent a flaming book to sit atop my head and we contently hung out like that in a lounge chair… until I started to feel heat across my whole body, and more than just a little.

He suddenly grunted an expletive.

"Kakuzu? I feel… weird..." I said.

It was always stupid to talk though, he never responded.

I looked down at myself and let out a startled gasp when I noticed water lapping at my ankles. Only it wasn't water, it was dark and red and rising quickly.

"Kakuzu ?!" I rattled out in a high pitch squeak as I watched in horror, the thick, viscous liquid rushing and rising to my chest in a matter of seconds. It pulled him away from me.

I cried out Kakuzu's name one more time as I desperately reached out, trying to grab him. I began frantically sloshing through it in a manic attempt to get to him. I soon found myself gasping for breath, no longer able to touch my feet to the floor.

The liquid was so dense that I struggled to even stay afloat.

Kakuzu swore again, more frantic this time.

I began choking and sputtering.

Kakuzu and The Others

Hidan had been quietly counting his prayer beads, mouthing some foreign words against them as he sat in a chair in the corner of Izumi's room. His eyes were hyper-fixated on Izumi's unconscious body as Kakuzu worked by her bed, hand pressed against her forehead with his grayish-black chakra radiating out in a visible aura.

"Something wrong?" Hidan interrupted his own whispered chanting to ask, alarmed by his partner's sudden hissing and the look on his face. It was uncharacteristically concerned.

That wasn't normal, in fact it usually meant something was seriously fucked . Kakuzu didn't really do concern.

Kakuzu moved his hands down her chest and abdomen, feeling around for something. He shook his head, eyebrows furrowing. Hidan straightened up, staring over impatiently and grinding his teeth.

"This isn't good," Kakuzu said, his voice low and calculated like he was scrambling for a solution in his head but coming up empty.

"Wh-what the fuck does that mean? What can I do?" Hidan asked in a spiking rush, quickly moving to stand beside his partner, peering down over Izumi.

There were times he couldn't even look at her. She just looked so tiny and frail and broken.

"Cerebral edema, organ failure… pulmonary hemorrhage…" Kakuzu groaned like he couldn't believe their luck. "I need people with a lot of chakra and precise control of it. Hidan, go ge-"

"Organ failure?" Hidan cut him off, repeating the worst thing Kakuzu had ever said to him in a kind of disbelieving, ghostly voice. That was the only part he understood the meaning of, but it was enough to put the fear of God in him instantly.

"Hidan !" Kakuzu boomed, "We don't have time for this. Go get the others, at the very least Sasori and Kisame. Now ."

Hidan swallowed and clenched his jaw, taking one last moment to stare unblinking at the fragile and utterly fucked up, little body laying atop the bed.

The long tears in her skin had only just begun to close and scab, they would no doubt leave massive scars across her body, even with ointments. She looked like she was barely hanging on and that was just the outside of her, the inside was a nightmare, the thing Kakuzu spent all his time trying to sort out lately.

"God damnit, Izumi… you stay with me, you idiot," Kakuzu muttered as he placed one hand back on her head while the other lingered, low and pushing chakra into her abdomen.

Kakuzu wasn't medical. He filled that role once in a while in a very perfunctory sense, purely because of his convenient ability to stitch things closed. He'd picked up some knowledge on salves and medicinal herbs to help bolster that a little, but that was the extent of it.

He'd never had an interest or reason to learn such a useless skill. Until now.

Now it had become his life.

He poured over medical texts day and night, absolutely devouring any flippant piece of information that might have even the smallest chance of helping the girl. He couldn't explain it, but his urge to save this useless, worthless, money pit of a human had encompassed all his thoughts and time.

It was absurd. He should have just let her die. It certainly would have been easier. But despite that, he was there, trying to keep the insignificant child alive.

To his relief though, he was never asked to explain it. Everyone seemed to be on the same page that this girl needed to live for whatever reason. It was odd, the colors people were letting show through now that stakes were at their highest.

At first, just managing the bleeding had been the biggest obstacle. The girl was painted in scarlet when originally brought to him and all he could manage to do was stitch the many, many wounds that tore across her body and wrap her up tightly.

He knew immediately that his knowledge would not be enough. If this was how the curse managed to ravage her exterior, what was going on that they couldn't see?

It had been a long road wrought with complications and close calls to even get to where they were, despite the event only happening just over a week ago.

Kakuzu had to learn on the fly and with no instructor. Just books, which he had little patience for at times.

Hidan was desperate to be helpful, and helpful he was, actually.

He willingly injured himself in any way necessary so Kakuzu could have a human guinea pig to practice healing techniques on before using them on Izumi. It proved to be critically important when it came to learning how to stop internal bleeding in particular.

Hidan even subjected himself to drinking an insane amount of alcohol so Kakuzu could test his skills in preventing cardiac arrest, should it ever come to that. While the experience proved useful, Kakuzu vowed to never ask that of Hidan again.

It was too much for the boy, considering his emotional state. And yes, more than ever, he thought of Hidan as a boy. Very much so. A foolish one.

Dealing with him in that inebriated state was possibly the most irritating thing Kakuzu had ever dealt with. He'd expected the zealot to go full on belligerent and was even prepared for it, but that wasn't the case at all.

He was just quiet and sad . He took to begging Kakuzu, slurred speech and all, to promise he'd save her, that no matter what, he wouldn't let her die.

Kakuzu couldn't make such a stupid promise.

He wasn't even sure how he had managed to keep her alive as long as he had, and even if she did wake up, he couldn't guarantee she'd be all there mentally. The worst part wasn't even necessarily that Hidan asked him to promise such a ridiculous thing, it was the way he did it.

Devastatingly drunk and barely intelligible, his shoulders sagging as he sat on the edge of the bed in front of Kakuzu. He let his forehead slump and hit Kakuzu's chest where he stayed for a while. Kakuzu was more than tempted to take a step back and let Hidan fall off the bed and onto his face, but he had never seen the boy look so destroyed… and so docile .

There, Hidan begged him to save her, his shoulders shaking. He said "please" far too many times. Swapping coordination for desperation, he sloppily pawed at Kakuzu's shirt, grabbing onto him with shaky fingers.

It made Kakuzu wildly uncomfortable to see Hidan like that.

Kakuzu couldn't make such a stupid promise. But he did anyway.

Hidan wouldn't remember it in any case. He did with a heavy hand on the back of Hidan's head as it leaned against his sternum. He wouldn't remember that either.

What an absurd place to seek comfort, Kakuzu thought. From someone like him? Hidan should have known better. But then again… he did provide a modicum of it in spite of himself.

That was concerning on another level.

Kakuzu had to force feed him more liquor and it wasn't too long after that, Hidan finally went into cardiac arrest and Kakuzu could do what he'd aimed to do from the beginning. It was odd, he'd seen his partner die plenty of times before but this one was somewhat... difficult to watch.

Another troublesome realization.

Regardless though, Kakuzu managed to perform the procedure successfully enough and promised the idiot he wouldn't make him do that again, even if it was mostly for his own sake.

Kakuzu found himself thinking about that promise now.

With Hidan running off, hopefully bringing back who he needed, Kakuzu frantically worked just to keep Izumi afloat until reinforcements could arrive.

It all happened so suddenly. Her body was having a rough go of healing itself as the initial injuries were extensive , and, for lack of a better term, she was constantly 'springing leaks'.

Things Kakuzu thought he'd fixed would come undone, surely in part due to his inexperience and not performing various functions fully as intended. He felt like he was using glue to put together a house, no wonder it was falling apart.

There were times when Kakuzu wondered if it would have been better to just let Orochimaru have her. He knew his right-hand man was a medical genius who would have surely fixed this.

At least then she'd be alive. She'd have a fighting chance.

Kakuzu had no idea if he was helping or just prolonging the inevitable. Part of him dreaded the day she'd wake up because if she was anything less than perfect, he would have to live with that forever. Deal with knowing she was just another thing he fucked up that he wished he couldn't remember.

He didn't want that, selfishly. It was hard enough to live with his other regrets.

Sweat beaded on his brow as he focused his dark chakra both on her head and lungs, trying to reduce the swelling and stop the internal bleeding at the same time.

Kakuzu was a talented shinobi and because of his age and expansive knowledge of jutsu, he was a quick learner. But he wasn't that quick. What needed to be done would have been a stretch even for the famed slug bitch.

Finally help arrived.

Kisame burst through the door first, followed by Sasori and Hidan.

"Fuck… fuck, Kakuzu, you know we're not medical, right?" Kisame said, looking down at Izumi's body with a terrible grimace and a hand running through his hair.

"You think I don't fucking know that?" Kakuzu growled, glaring at Kisame. "Just go read the page dog-eared in the green book there," he spat at him before directing his attention to Sasori, "Same thing to you but the white book, over there. Quickly, both of you."

They both scrambled to do as directed.

"What can I do?" Hidan asked, standing there feeling absolutely helpless. It was the worst fucking feeling in the world and not one that he was even remotely familiar with.

"I need ice packs for her entire body. She's burning up. Get as many as you can." Kakuzu ordered. Hidan was gone in an instant. Kakuzu found Hidan to be a very good, compliant assistant when it came to Izumi.

Kisame and Sasori finished reading quickly. They were both highly experienced generally speaking, and had massive amounts of chakra, Sasori in particular having incredibly precise control over it and an intimate knowledge of the human body.

Even without specific medical experience, they should have been able to apply to core concepts using their existing skills. They were S-class shinobi for fuck's sake. They would have to do.

"This feels like a risk," Kisame said, still frowning as he stood by, ready for orders.

Kakuzu looked at him curtly. "Her lungs are filling with blood. Her brain is swelling against her skull. Her kidneys are failing. She is already as good as dead if it's just me."

Kisame swallowed and nodded, understanding the stakes and looking down with a pained expression at the torn body of his small, sweet friend.

Hidan was back with the ice packs. Deidara and Itachi rushing in behind with more in hand, they worked quickly around Kakuzu to place them so Kisame and Sasori could get in there and begin.

"Okay," Kakuzu said. "Sasori, take the kidneys. Kisame, stop the flow of blood into her lungs. I will focus on her head."

The three moved into position as the other three watched with bated breath. It was torturous and slow, in particular for the spectating bunch. They couldn't do anything but watch.

Strands of Kakuzu's hair clung to his forehead and the bags under his eyes drooped even more as time went on, but he continued pouring chakra into the unmoving form of Izumi.

"Oh fuck ," Kisame hissed, his eyes going wide as Izumi began to cough, red speckles adorning her scarred face from the spattering her lips produced.

"Shit… we're losing her," Kakuzu said, looking over at Kisame's hands pumping chakra into her.

He wished he could be the one working on the lungs, he felt more capable having a whopping week of experience over Kisame, but more could go wrong with the brain. He had given Kisame the easiest of the three fixes. It might not have even been his fault, the damage could have been too severe already.

"Shit, FUCK," Kisame shouted, starting to really freak out as more blood leaked out of her mouth.

Hidan's eyes were wide and unblinking as he watched Izumi's body wracking with bloody coughs on the table. He paced against the back wall violently with his lips pressed into the tightest of lines. Itachi and Deidara wore similar expressions. They were just standing still watching, disbelieving.

How could they fucking stand it? To just be watching helplessly? Was Hidan the only one feeling like he was about to lose his fucking mind? He felt like he'd been trapped in a nightmare ever since the whole thing started, and now it was going to fucking end like this ?

It couldn't. It just fucking couldn't. He was crawling in his goddamn skin and the temptation to just start tearing it off became almost irresistible. He was beyond disgust. She couldn't die. She just fucking couldn't. He needed her to live.

There were so many things he never even got to tell her.

He could feel the swell of rage and grief building within him as he watched the three men frantically pour everything they had into her tiny form lying on the bed.

"I think I stopped the bleeding!" Kisame yelled out. Kakuzu nodded at him but Sasori looked unconvinced.

"It might be too late," Sasori said quietly, wishing he didn't have to say those words.

But Izumi had become eerily still, not even a flutter of her eyes beneath the lids. Not a cough or a twitch of her fingers.

Sasori noticed that up close, there was moisture streaking down from the corners of her eyes. It struck him hard as he realized that even in her state, whatever that was, maybe she was aware enough to know she was about to die. Aware enough to cry.

"Check her…," Sasori said, pulling one hand away from treating her kidneys to wipe at the tear stains. "...Check her pulse." His voice was even. Too even. It was eerie and knowing.

Kakuzu didn't seem to breathe as he held his fingers there against the artery in Izumi's neck. He stared at her intently, the scowl on his face growing by the millisecond. Kisame was grinding his teeth, watching and waiting for an answer.

He knew what it was.

He was just hoping he was wrong, for once. But Kisame wasn't wrong often. Not about these things. He'd seen enough corpses in his life to know what he was looking at now.

Kakuzu continued in his silence but his face twisted into something angry and revolted. His lips twitched into the deepest scowl he'd ever managed. He pulled his shaking hand back and slammed it into the wall behind him with an animalistic grunt, dripping with all things grief and pain.

Kisame's chakra slowly dissipated from his hands as he left them there on Izumi's body, his fingers twisting into the fabric of her gown. His head lolled back as he stared down at her, his head shaking slowly.

"No… no, kid… I… I'm so sorry, kiddo...fuck, Iz, I'm so sorry..." His hand pulled down his face, ending clapped over his mouth where it stayed as he stared down at her corpse with his eyes glazed over.

She was gone.

Deidara stormed out of the room. "I'm not sticking around to fucking watch this," he spat tightly as he rushed out.

Itachi leaned against the wall. Without it he'd have been on the floor.

He had promised her… he had promised her this wouldn't happen. How could he have been so foolish? She was probably so scared. He'd noticed the same tears Sasori did. He'd noticed them the instant they began to leak out.

He had the thought to go over and force her eyes open one last time to send her into his pocket dimension... just so he could see her once more and hold her on some level, even if it wasn't real. He could make it feel real, for her anyway. He could have convinced her she'd woken up.

He could have at least given her that as she faded from existence.

He could have even told her the truth. She could have died knowing she was loved, that he loved her.

Wasn't that what he'd wanted for himself , isn't that the reason he let her say it to him once upon a time?

So why couldn't he? Why couldn't he afford her this basic truth?

Shameful.

He would have to confront her in those final moments and admit he was a liar if she caught on to what was happening. He'd have to know she died hating him. He lied when he told her he felt nothing for her and now he lied when he said she wouldn't die.

Selfish as always.

He was nothing but a scoundrel. A coward. He couldn't bear the thought of that being the last thing in her head as she died.

And now she'd never think another thing of him again.

She was light and beauty and all things good and now she was nothing.

He wished his nothingness would come soon as well. This heartache was too much to bear. He could have stopped it somehow, had he been better. Stronger, smarter, more knowledgeable, more observant, more something .

But he was truly worthless and useless if Izumi, who had been in his care, was really dead in front of him now.

Dead .

God, it was so permanent.

The room was too quiet. Hidan hadn't moved or spoken. He seemed to be frozen in place, eyes trained on her wide and unblinking, his pupils jittering with manic intensity.

"No…" he finally said, low and growling, his head shaking slowly from side to side, his face rearranging into something feral and deranged. He shifted his attention to Kakuzu.

"No, you fucking promised !" He screamed, rushing at him. Apparently he remembered after all.

This was exactly what Kakuzu had been afraid of when making that promise. He really did want to be right about it. Now that he wasn't, it seemed more foolish than ever. He should have known better. A girl like Izumi doesn't survive in the shinobi world. The odds were never in her favor.

"Get out, Hidan. I need to start chest compressions," Kakuzu said, regaining his composure as he stared down at the lifeless Izumi, absently shooting a hand out to pin Hidan to the wall.

"She's fucking…. gone ? Is this a fucking joke, Kakuzu?! Did you even fucking try ?!" Hidan ground out, even with Kakuzu's hand crushing his trachea. He struggled against his partner's grip who was becoming increasingly irritated since he needed that hand back right fucking now .

Hidan began laughing.

At first it was quiet and low, like chuckling to himself, but it metastasized into something loud and chaotic and wailing. It was something out of a horror movie only you couldn't tell if he was the victim or the murderer. It devolved futher until it wasn't laughter any longer, just an appalling, hideous noise tearing out of his throat through clenching teeth.

"God damnit Uchiha, make yourself fucking useful and get him out of here!" Kakuzu bellowed and Itachi snapped to.

Of course he'd heard Hidan, and even Kakuzu saying he was going to begin a revival technique. That was hopeful.

Itachi didn't need hope.

He just needed to get out of that room… and apparently bring Hidan with him.

He looked over to his right to see a seething Hidan pinned by his throat against the stone wall, his feet dangling and kicking, fingers tearing at Kakuzu's hand. That unearthly noise erupting from him, his face all wet and reddened.

He was the epitome of anguish and even Itachi's heart contracted at the sight. It was so strange coming from Hidan. Itachi had severely underestimated the depth of his feelings for the girl. Had Itachi not been so closed off, perhaps this is what he would have looked like as well.

"Uchiha !" Kakuzu shouted.

Itachi jolted to action, embarrassed he needed to be told more than once, grabbing hold of Hidan and forcibly leading him from the room through all of his spitting and cursing at Kakuzu.

Hidan fought against him but it became more and more half-hearted the further away they got, Hidan glancing back over his shoulder with a twisting expression of grief overcoming him as he glimpsed Izumi's body one last time.

Kakuzu placed his hands on her chest with a flash of electricity. Her body jolted upwards in some sick show of mock-life as the shock pulsed through her.

Hidan felt his back slam against the wall of the hallway, the Uchiha's palms holding him there by his shoulders roughly. He looked up to meet Itachi with a challenging glare, grabbing hold of his forearms to pull him off… but he lost the will when he saw Itachi's face.

He was used to the blank smugness, the quiet arrogance. He was a shitty little fuck that he wished death upon most days to be frank. But this wasn't that. This was the absence of everything. A void.

He'd lost her too. He was the only other one that would really get it.

"She's fucking gone… " Hidan choked out, disgusted. It was a statement but it was really a question.

His grasp on reality was thinning and he needed someone to make it feel real. It didn't feel fucking real . She was right in the other room, if you wiped the blood off her face she could have passed for sleeping.

Itachi nodded slowly, his mouth pulled into such a severe line. He did not blink.

The glassy edge of his somber, coal eyes refused to spill without a blink, so he did not blink.

"Fucking gone…" Hidan muttered the words again with a broken voice, face contorted with revulsion. He let his head drop to just hang there, entire body shaking in disbelief.

His grip on Itachi's arms tightened but no longer made any attempt to pry him away. He was just holding on. Like he would crumble if not for Itachi keeping him pinned there.

"Fucking… just like that… gone ," Hidan said quietly, processing aloud. His grip grew tighter yet, to the point of pain, eyes and his jaw clenched fiercely.

"You don't need to keep saying it…" Itachi muttered, letting his fingers dig into Hidan's shoulders just as Hidan's were gripping sorely into his arms. Itachi's hanging head came to knock softly against Hidan's.

"Fuck you I don't," Hidan bit back with no teeth.

He made no effort to shift from Itachi's grip, he just stayed pinned there, clutching at his arms, allowing the tops of their heads to remain pressed against one another, their hair falling down to shield their faces.

Itachi, while his feelings towards Hidan were predominantly negative at best , there was a cathartic realization as they stayed there in the hallway, holding each other up in silent anguish.

They could understand one another's pain. It had quickly become an unspoken understanding.

Only they could feel it at its worst. It was possibly the only thing they could reconcile about one another and it was worth tossing everything else aside for, just for a moment to engage in this unexpected, twisted version of grief.

Neither of them could see each other's faces with the way their heads fell forward, limp and defeated. The feeling of Hidan's shoulders wracking in rhythm with his despair finally sent the tears spilling from Itachi as well, like it had given him permission. He had thought to wait until he could be in private, but it couldn't be helped.

"She can't be," Hidan ground out, reverting back to disbelief, voice low and shaking. "She's… she's fucking Izumi . She was too good … too damn good to get fucked like this... It's not right… it's not fucking right ."

Hidan was straining out the same thought process that had been running through Itachi's mind. Itachi's phrasing may have varied a little, but the spirit was there.

Both of them knew the world was not fair, especially not the shinobi world, this was not new, but there was just something so exceptionally heinous about this particular girl's fate that seemed so unbelievably unfair .

She wasn't even a kunoichi. If she had been, her body would have been more naturally bolstered against the effects of the blood curse.

No, she was just some civilian. Just a girl. A sweet, loving girl that cared for everyone, even monsters. She'd done nothing... nothing to have earned any of the misfortunes that had befallen her over the course of her time there.

Suddenly the door burst open beside them. They didn't move.

"Guys, quick ," Kisame said in a rush, staring at the two, freezing at the sight.

Had he come across the scene under any other circumstance, he would have had a field day with it. Entwined as they were, the two rivals looked like they might fight, fuck or perform a eulogy in tandem at any given moment. Maybe all three.

But now was not the time, Kisame thought. He wasn't sure if there would ever be a time.

The two didn't break right away. They seemed locked in place, waiting with bated breath. Kisame sounded too hopeful. It would be crushing if it wasn't what they'd wished for.

"Just fucking… get in here, you fucking weirdos," Kisame said exasperated, tucking back into the room.

There was just one more brief moment of silence and stillness. Hidan squeezed harder for a millisecond before breaking free, shoving Itachi away and rushing into the room.

Kakuzu and Kisame were drenched in sweat. Sasori looked like a fucking doll as usual, but he had assumedly put some extensive effort in as well. He was busily blotting blood off Izumi's cheek from when it had sputtered out of her before, a thoughtful melancholy look on his face as he did so.

Kisame was grinning ear to ear as Hidan came over wearily, dragging a hand down his face.

Kakuzu was sitting slumped against the back wall, staring blankly up at Izumi with an indiscernible expression as he wiped the sweat from his brow. He was short of breath and eventually closed his eyes as he continued to work on his breathing.

"We got her back, Hidan…" Kakuzu said gruffly from the floor, not even bothering to open his eyes. "You piece of shit," he added as an afterthought.

Itachi entered the room but stood just inside the doorway as he watched Hidan trepidatiously approach Izumi.

Hidan wouldn't allow himself to believe it, not if he didn't feel it for himself.

God, she was so fucking frail and infirm looking with half-cleaned smears of blood everywhere, bandages wrapping around her and tubes sticking out of her, surrounded by bricks and bricks of ice packs like she was in this untouchable winter fortress.

He never wanted to see her in red for the rest of his life… so like… it was banned for fucking ever.

He almost dropped to his knees when he saw her up close.

A second later, he did. His knees thudding softly onto the rug.

The bed was low enough to the ground that he could easily reach over and feel her pulse from his kneeling position.

Hidan reminded Itachi of a loyal dog doting on his sick master. His chin on the bed, looking up at Izumi so concerned. He half expected Hidan to push up and nuzzle her to see if she'd wake.

It was so unusual to see him this docile, especially when only moments ago he'd been wailing his grief for the whole country to hear. Now he was being what many would refer to as 'a good boy'.

His fingers pressed against her neck and there, beneath his index and middle, he felt her beat back against him. It was weak and fluttery, but it was there . Her chest rose ever so slightly with a breath.

It was the most relief Hidan felt in a lifetime. He buried his face into the bed and decompressed with the world's biggest exhale, released in the form of a drawn out " fuuuuuck ".

For the briefest of moments, several voices in the back of his head urged him to just finish her off already.

He promptly removed his hand from her like he'd touched something scalding.

Kakuzu stood from his position on the wall and approached Hidan with a tired gait. "There's still a lot of work to do. Anyone who isn't helping, get the fuck out," he said.

His words were curt and tired, but the hand he placed on the back of Hidan's head said he was still trying to keep that promise. That yes, he was trying.

Everyone stared at Kakuzu. Not daring to say anything but recognizing this was the first ounce of affection they'd ever seen him give to anyone besides Izumi.

It had been a really long ordeal for everyone, lasting over a week to date and coming to a head the way it did... and the most disgusting part was that it wasn't even close to over as far as they knew.

They had no clue how many more times that might happen, if they'd get as lucky next time, if she'd ever even wake up at all.

Needless to say, they were all starting to see interesting shades of each other under this kind of unusual pressure. They were used to killing, never saving someone's life, certainly never on purpose or someone they cared about.

The scene grew even more unusual as Hidan kept his face flush against the bed, but his hand moved to sloppily rest atop Kakuzu's for a brief moment. An acknowledgement. A silent thank you.

Kakuzu had done as promised, and for that, Hidan was genuinely and eternally grateful. He eventually pulled his head off the bed.

"Fine, I'll uh… I'll go get some fucking… some water and shit for you guys," Hidan said tiredly, shockingly complacent before getting up and brushing past Itachi to leave.

Kisame moved over to Itachi who still looked like he was seeing a ghost as he fixed onto Izumi. Kisame snapped him from it by placing a giant hand on his shoulder.

"Hey man, she's gonna be okay," he said to the somber Uchiha.

Itachi topped his hand, grateful for his partner. It made him feel grounded. Somewhere, on some subconscious level, he recognized that was what just happened with Kakuzu and Hidan as well. They were all growing too similar under these circumstances.

"I should see her," Itachi said, taking his hand back and contemplating activating his sharingan.

Kisame scratched at the back of his head with a wince.

"Check with the big boss but I'm thinking no-can-do. No extra stress allowed. Genjutsu, regardless of how sickly sweet you're making it for her, you simp, is still stress on the mind. Besides… you have got to give those eyes of yours a break, man. You're gonna go blind before she even wakes up," he said the last part quietly.

Itachi sighed deeply with a scoff, looking at the floor. He knew Kisame was right.

"I just… feel useless." Itachi confessed.

"What are you talking about? You think those ice packs walked in here on their own accord?" Kisame gestured to them surrounding Izumi.

"I think Hidan would have walked them in, if not me. I'm on the same level as him. Do you understand why I feel useless now?" Itachi asked impatiently.

"Aw come on, man. That's not true. Hidan has actually been really helpful letting Kakuzu practice med shit on him," Kisame corrected. He wasn't even joking. That was just factual.

Itachi glowered at his partner which sent Kisame into chuckling.

"What? You think you're gonna get special treatment from me because your ex just died? Yeah, well, she's my fucking friend too, Uchiha. I've got no more sympathy for you than I've got for myself. Hidan has been fucking helpful, that's just the truth. Dude's a dick but he's come in clutch lately."

"You are annoyingly fair," Itachi conceded.

Kisamed grinned. He loved it when he could make Itachi snap a little without even trying.

He had to recognize he was playing on easy mode though. Getting a reaction out of someone on pins and needles after the love of their life just died for a hot second was kind of cheap.

Kisame was not above it, not even a little.

"Why don't you go relax? Rest up those pretty little eyeballs of yours for when you can pop in. Oh and let Deidara know, he probably ran to his room to cry or some shit, which is honestly fair enough. Like... no judgement. It's Izumi, I get it, bruh. Might just be nice to let him know," Kisame suggested and Itachi agreed just to leave.

He absently wondered if Kisame was joking or actually thought his eyes were visually appealing. He was an odd one.

Kakuzu stayed behind with Kisame and Sasori as they continued to administer damage control. It was like the blind leading the blind with Kakuzu attempting to explain things he didn't fully understand and getting frustrated when Kisame and Sasori, in turn, didn't understand.

There was a lot of reading and re-reading texts and fighting over the intended meaning of certain sections, but over time, and with some snacks and drinks brought by Hidan, the damage felt sufficiently controlled at some point in the middle of the night.

They could all finally breathe.

Notes:

OOOOF. Dudes, this chapter was such a toughie to write. Not sure how it reads. I hope it was alright...? How is everyone feeling? Everyone doing okay?

Thanks for reading, as always, my darlings. Your support means a lot, but at the same time, I totally get it if you read this shit and are like.. I'm out, you depressing fuck. (Do trust that I am an avid believer in happy endings though, even if everything leading up to is fucked lol)

All good :3

Chapter 40: Sleeping In

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Oh, what an awful nightmare...

No matter how hard I tried to keep my head above the blood, it just became thicker and thicker . It was boiling hot. I couldn't reach Kakuzu, I could barely even stay afloat .

More of the guys showed up over time, all of them, it seemed. I was delighted at first, I could hear them talking, but they were so worried… and so far away… and after enough screaming and crying and thrashing about, I was too tired to fight it any longer. Everything went dark.

The darkest it'd ever been.

I had no idea how much time had passed between then and the next time I dreamt. It felt like a lifetime.

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I found myself sitting there in a sprawling, open field on the perfect day. I glanced down to realize I was having tea. The wind was just enough to counteract the heat of the sun blazing above the virtually cloudless sky.

"Izumi," Sasori said, a small smile gracing his delicate features.

"Oh, Sasori," I greeted warmly at the sight of him and patted a spot next to me in the grass.

He snuck up out of nowhere.

There he was looking blank with just a hint of sass. He was wearing my yukata, no less, which I thought was rather rude and was going to chastise him for, but it actually looked quite nice on him.

Nicer than on me, I thought.

"God, am I glad to see you. I… I feel so strange. Do you know how long I've been here?" I asked, running my hands through my hair with exhaustion.

He didn't respond.

"Sasori? Can you hear me?" I asked, waving my hand arms around to get his attention. He didn't seem to react. "Sasori, please, I-I've been so… so lost? I can't even remember what I'm doing here," I admitted with a frown, touching his arm as he sat next to me.

I stared at him unblinkingly, waiting for a response.

"We're just here to see you before we head out. We have a big job, we may be gone for a little while," he replied quietly.

"Oh, is Dei with you?" I asked, whipping my head in every direction. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. My frown deepened as I stared over my shoulder at the empty, flower-pocked field.

"Kisame was saying how sometimes people in your condition can actually hear what's going on around them, yeah?"

Deidara's voice came from next to Sasori and I snapped to see them now sitting beside each other, looking at me expectantly.

I swore he was nowhere in sight just a second ago… freaking ninjas.

He was also wearing my yukata somehow. I didn't think about that too much. It hurt my brain to question things that didn't seem to make sense.

I supposed… I should've just been happy that I wasn't alone. Yeah. I was just glad to see them. And Kisame said something about me? I felt like it had been ages since I'd seen my giant blue friend. I'd have to check in on him soon.

I shook my head, a grin forming. "Pfft, so now, according to Kisame, I have a condition , do I?" I laughed. "Oh, I can't wait to hear about it. What does Kisame think my condition is, hm? Chronic Sexual Innuendo Overlooker? Compulsive Overcooker? Hey, that kinda rhym-"

He interrupted me.

"So we figured we'd pop in to say bye, yeah? I bet you'll be awake by the time we get back." He reached out and brushed one of my cheeks. "I hope, anyway."

Why did he sound so sad?

"Awake… am I not awake now?" I said with a laugh, holding his hand there. It felt nice and warm.

"Dei!" I squealed when I felt a wetness against my skin, his tongue licking up the side of my face gently.

"Heh… oops, sorry about that," he said, wrenching his hand back, almost embarrassed. Almost .

"Control yourself," Sasori scolded.

"What? It was like a… a get well lick! Yeah?" He said with a shrug.

Sasori glowered at his cheeky partner before unexpectedly reaching out and wrapping his cold fingers around my hand that stretched through the grass, drawing my attention back toward him. "I left your birthday gift on the nightstand. I think you'll like it. You are my favorite little lion tamer, after all."

"Sasori… you didn't actually need to get me anything," I said, angling my head at him.

Deidara sighed and chimed back in. "Well, we better go. Gotta keep on a schedule, yeah? See you soon, Izumi." He still sounded too melancholy as he leafed through my hair for just a moment.

It wasn't typical of him to show such casual affections with me anyway. Something was off.

"Okay… bye guys." I pouted. "I really miss you!" I called out after them.

They didn't say anything more.

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I was in my cozy little nightmare again, surrounded by flames and wailing half-corpses, a shadowed figure in the distance. My mom was calling me over but I… I couldn't muster the effort to engage. Not just then. I was feeling so strangely sluggish… maybe next time.

I just sat and buried my face into my knees and waited it out.

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"Hey there, sweetheart, how are we doing today?" Hidan asked.

Suddenly both his hands were clasping around just one of mine. He squeezed and shook it a little. I was a bit taken aback, seeing as I was in the middle of painting a giant mural on the blank wall of my room.

He must have entered so quietly.

"Hidan… geez, you scared me," I laughed. "Aaaand now you're getting paint all over your hands. Lovely ." I pointed out when I realized he hadn't taken much care in avoiding the paint-soaked brush I was holding, and, subsequently, he was now also holding.

"How's that fever doing today?" he asked, pressing a paint-covered hand to my forehead.

"Fever? Um, excellent? Almost like I don't have one…? Weird question, even for you, Hidan," I tutted, feeling totally fine. "And okay , now you're getting paint all over me ," I whined incredulously.

It was like he didn't even care or notice somehow.

"Shit, not too bad… better than yesterday anyway," he mused before running his fingers through my hair.

I deadpanned thinking about the effort to wash the paint out of it later.

I was going to yell at him, but he started in again, his voice so oddly longing.

"God... you look like a fucking mess , baby girl… the beautiful little disaster you are..." he murmured, tucking the hair behind my ear.

I scoffed. "Well I imagine that's true, seeing as how you're making a mess of me. I'm not sure if I should be amused or flattered," I said, feeling flustered by his absolute disregard for what I was trying to accomplish, but not entirely hating the weird, backhanded compliment.

"Be gentle with her, Hidan…" Kakuzu's voice suddenly cut through the room.

I'm not sure how I hadn't noticed him before.

He was at the other end of the wall helping me paint, apparently. I gave him a little smile and a wave. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him. Strange.

"Like I don't fucking know that… I'm fucking… gentle as shit, you old fuck," Hidan spat, though loosening his grip on my hand just a bit.

After a long glare directed at his partner, Hidan looked back at me with an oddly soft, pleading expression.

"I'm here, baby girl… you take all the time you need to get better," he said quietly, bringing my hand to his mouth and planting a litany of kisses across my knuckles before releasing it and walking off.

I chuffed disapprovingly. "Listen, I know I'm not a professional painter or anything but I don't think I need to 'get better', it's just my room and it's not that bad," I said defensively, gesturing to the wall with irritation.

What was I even painting again?

I looked at the wall and gaped.

Like, I think my jaw actually hit the floor. It was absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, Hidan's freaking thingee . It was massive and painted in fine detail down to the most tertiary vein across my entire freaking wall.

"OH MY GOD!" I shrieked.

Kakuzu was at the other end of the wall silently and diligently detailing the scrotum with silvery pubic hairs.

"Don't look!" I shouted at Hidan, trying to make myself big as I stretched out in front of the wall. It was a rather sad attempt, honestly.

"Ugh, that's way too fucking thick… how does she like this shit?" Hidan mumbled, "how about something a bit more reasonable, a nice, short one."

I gawked at him. I couldn't believe he wanted me to make it smaller.

I outright refused. First of all, it wouldn't be accurate. Secondly, and despite having no recollection of it, it was clear that I had already put a considerable amount of time and effort into this penis and I wasn't willing to make such a sweeping edit.

"Try that blue one," Kakuzu said.

My gape continued. I couldn't believe it. First Hidan wanted me to make it smaller, now Kakuzu wanted me to make it blue ?!

"Absolutely not!" I yelled in disbelief. "I… I'll be honest... I'm not sure why I painted this, but you know what, I like it! I like it big and… a-and peachy! You guys can paint your own dicks however you want in your own rooms!"

"Ooh, yeah okay, Good fucking call." Hidan said.

Unbelievable . He was really gonna go paint a little penis in his room.

He continued, "A nice short one. 'The Immortal Soul', by some fucking person I don't care about. Sounds good to me," Hidan said, flipping through some pages.

I suddenly realized Hidan had gone to the bookshelf… he'd been picking out a book... That's what they'd been talking about all along...

Boy, was there egg on my face. In fact, there was practically a whole freaking chicken coop on it.

I couldn't seem to get my head on straight. Everything always seemed a little weird , a little off , like no one could even notice me but at the same time, they would be talking to me. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

How could I be seemingly surrounded by people yet feel so alone?

I mean for Bean's sake, they weren't even noticing the sizable hunk of male anatomy throbbing across my wall.

And was it wrong to be a little offended? All things considered… it really did look pretty good.

Hidan pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down, licking his index to flip past the author's notes at the beginning.

"Blah blah blah, buncha shit no one cares about.." he mumbled as he did so. "Heyyy, Chapter fucking one. Seems like a good spot to start, right? You ready for this, sweetheart? Seems like a real fucking juicy one."

He began reading. I thought it was strange, considering I wasn't lying in bed, but I moved to lay down after a few moments. His voice was soothing and surprisingly animated.

Kakuzu would scoff and make comments from time to time about how stupid the characters were, which only added to the charm of it.

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Ice fishing seemed like a cool hobby, maybe. Evidently, I was giving it a whirl.

Sitting on an overturned bucket, I intently watched my bobber floating in the middle of the jagged, carved circle of ice by my feet. A long time went by.

I was also attempting patience. Lord knew I had to have some, considering I put up with the Akatsuki boys once upon a time.

What ever happened to them...?

No matter. The bobber and I became friends.

Bob dipped. They wobbled and wavered before becoming entirely submerged. I juggled my fishing rod frantically, trying to remember what to do when I actually got something . And holy moley, whatever I had, it was big.

The line zipped, practically smoking on the reel before I was able to stop it and start pulling it back. My tongue peeked from my lips, eyebrows knotted with determination as I cranked on the rod with a fury no fish had ever seen before.

Only it wasn't a fish. It was freaking... Itachi .

"Izumi…" Itachi's quiet voice practically sighing out my name startled the living beans out of me as he flew out up and out of the hole, knocking me over and landing harshly by my side.

" Itachi ," I gasped, clapping my hand over my heart, trying to bring it's beating to a reasonable speed. "Good lord, are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I questioned, still catching my breath.

He flopped around a little before pushing himself up to his elbows and edging closer so he was propped over me.

"I just… wanted to apologize..."

What in the nine hecks was even happening?

"You're a merman?!" I shouted in disbelief, staring at his aquatic bottom half. I started reeling through how that might have explained a few things.

Maybe that's why he rejected me. Maybe it was because we were just from two different worlds… our destinies forbidden to entwine... and he was obviously trying to protect me from his overbearing merman overlord, who also happened to be his stepfather.

His emotionally-wrought sigh pulled me from the entirely believable theory I'd concocted on the fly.

"I'm sorry that I can't come see you. It's just… not safe," he said, seaweed tangled in his hair quite badly. I frowned at it. That was going to drive me nuts.

I tried to remember where I put my comb. I… I tried to remember anything . It hurt my head.

Not safe? Of course it wasn't safe. A human and a merman forming a union? Tch… please… his lordship would never hear of such a thing.

"Is it your step father?" I asked, shaking my head with worry.

He clasped my hands in his, squeezing them for just a moment.

"That's… that's all. I'm sorry… " he said, clipped and bleak, rutting himself around on the ice to slide back into the hole he originally came flying out of.

"Wait, no! Don't leave me alone!" I cried out, trying to grab after him but he was just too slippery. My hand plunged into the icy waters, glancing off his fin in vain.

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"Baby… I'm trying to be so patient… I'm waiting for you but it… it's fucking killing me."

It was Hidan again. He showed up a lot.

This was one of the times that I just listened.

They never heard me when I talked, anyway. None of them. Sometimes I'd forget that and I'd have to get frustrated and learn it all over again.

But this was one of the times that I just listened.

We were outside, lying beneath the stars. They were impossibly bright and lazily blinking down at us, like they had all the time in the world. I had no concept of time either. Not lately. Everything seemed to blend together.

I felt perpetually lost.

Sometimes it felt like Hidan was trying to show me the way, always with my hand in his, always leading me, asking me to come back to him… asking… but also sometimes begging.

Hidan's fingers were soothing through my hair at the moment as I laid on my back, my head lolling a bit to look up at him. He sat, legs crossed, gazing down at me. Me of all things, even when he had all those stars. He was a silly man.

He took a big, shaky breath. "I feel fucking crazy without you. Everything is so loud, sweetheart, I just… I fucking miss your quiet so damn much… and your nerdy fucking laugh… and the way you call me on my bullshit… and correct me when I fuck up a saying..."

God, he sounded broken.

"Hey… Izumi…" he said, and I could hear the gears turning in his beautiful, thick skull, "Did you know... that you… you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it fuck…?" he said, somewhat expectantly.

There was a long bout of silence before he let out a defeated, humourless laugh.

"Eh… it was worth a shot…" he murmured like he had half expected me to jolt up and say, "It's 'drink' you absolute biscuit ."

Like my intense desire to get him to stop screwing up common idioms would be the thing that motivated me to come crashing through this seemingly supernatural barrier.

He took my hands in his and placed them against the sides of his head, holding them there over his ears so my fingers tickled into his hairline, breathing in deeply through his nose, his eyes closed tightly, brows knitted.

Another breath. Then another… and another.

He did that for a while. It was the same sort of breathing exercise he'd taught me once upon a time. I just watched and listened.

If I even bothered with an attempt to speak, it would have just come out as this tearful, squeaking thing. I couldn't stand seeing him like this.

It was almost as bad as my nightmares. I felt so powerless against it.

"Just come back to me, baby girl… please," he pleaded, letting his head drop, gripping my hands harder against him. I'd never heard his voice so quiet and wavering."I'm waiting for you… God fucking damnit, I'll wait for fucking ever, but… please... don't make me, baby..."

It was unbearably soul crushing to listen to him.

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"Iz… you wouldn't believe the food in this place lately… It's been a fucking disgrace to your name," Kisame wailed.

He came in to complain about the food a lot. His mouth was usually full when he did, so it was typically regarding whatever unholy abomination he or someone else attempted to make that day.

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"Hey there, sweetheart. Sorry about before… I was just being a little bitch. I'm totally fine, baby, nothing to worry about, you take all the time you need. I'll be right here," he said, punctuating it with a kiss to my forehead. His voice was not nearly as heavy and burdened as it had been last time.

He stayed there long enough for me to count two waves of exhales from his nose before pulling away just barely.

Shifting down so his lips hovered over mine, he stayed so close they were nearly grazing. He swallowed audibly and I could feel the breath against me.

I longed so deeply for him to close the space. I needed it more than anything.

"I shouldn't… right?" He murmured so quietly I could barely hear him.

Similar to when I would try to speak, my voice falling on deaf ears, my touch also seemed afflicted by this haunting curse. I could only ever be on the receiving end of anyone's affections and it was unbearable torture, pining for what I couldn't even ask for.

But it didn't stop me from trying.

"Yes, you should," I choked. "Please just kiss me, Hidan," I whispered against his breath.

He stayed there, completely still except for the warmth lightly gusting against my face. It set my every nerve ending on fire with anticipation.

"I know I shouldn't, baby… but goddamn… I want to kiss you so bad ." His voice reached a record low, the gravel in it hitting such an aching note. His hands hugged the sides of my face.

"I-I need you to, Hidan, please . I… I'm so scared," I said, biting back a sob but not able to stop my tears. "And I miss you so much... I've been so lost without you, without everyone, anyone . I've never felt so alone, so… please… please kiss me," I begged, each shaky word whispered from my lips wrenched my chest tighter as I waited with bated breath.

He was taking so long to decide. My throat hurt from holding back the horrible sob confined within it. I couldn't start with that, I wouldn't be ready to kiss him back.

"Oh, sweetheart... what… what is….?" he asked disjointedly with pitching alarm, jerking his head back, the absence of his breath leaving me feeling impossibly cold.

"Baby no… no, no, no… what is this?" he sounded stretched between frantic and disgusted as his hands suddenly wiped at the corners of my eyes and cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry," I croaked wanting to strip his voice of every pained ounce composing it.

"Why are you crying , sweetheart? Ugh, God... I-I'm here, baby girl, I'm right fucking here , I've got you," he soothed with a certain madness running through his fingers as they continued brushing against my skin somewhat neurotically.

"Fuck, can… can you hear me in there, baby girl? God, baby, give me a fucking sign or something. I don't know what the fuck to do here," he pleaded like a desperate prayer.

I didn't either. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't touch him. Yet somehow he knew I was there and crying. How on earth could any of this be possible?

"Fuck, sweetheart, stop crying. Stop fucking crying, please. You're fine, I've got you…" he begged, continuing to brush at my cheeks. "Holy fuck, if you can hear me baby, I… fuck, I need you to listen to me, I need you to fucking hear something… okay?"

The frenzied, guilty tenor of his voice made me anxious. I didn't want to hear it. It didn't sound like anything good.

He was petting me incessantly. Smoothing my hair back and wiping my tears into it. "Baby… baby, listen to me… if you can fucking hear me... I'm so sorry I left you," he said, just so utterly destroyed. "I fucking… I left you that day. I left you and then this happened when I wasn't there."

Oh God… it was the worst thing he could have said. He was apologizing… he thought this was his fault? Whatever ' this' even was.

"Hidan, i-it's okay! I-I'm ok-"

He cut me off.

"I swear to God, baby girl, come back to me and I fucking promise I'll never leave your side again. I… I should have fucking been there. I should have fucking… been there. I can't even fucking believe I fucked up this bad, sweetheart… I just… please forgive me, baby."

I'd never heard him so shattered. It broke me.

He continued choking out his speech. "I haven't wanted forgiveness a day in my life until you. I'm fucking sick over it, baby girl. Don't fucking hate me, sweetheart…please... I really think that's the one fucking thing that would kill me. I never should have left you... I know that now."

He… he thought somewhere in the darkest reaches of his mind that I could possibly hate him?

Oh, it made me ill.

"Baby… I'm so sorry… but since I'm already asking for forgiveness, I seriously need to fucking do this," he said, and it was the only brief warning I had before I liquefied beneath the warmth of his lips pressing hesitantly against mine.

I'd been waiting for it. I'd been imagining it. I'd been so starved , nothing could have prepared me for how it actually felt.

Hidan was a powerful, dominant, alpha male, for all intents and purposes, and his affections were always a show of this, but this one… it was different. It was so chaste, so gentle against me. Like he was scared I might break beneath anything more.

I felt his heat in full, it was all-encompassing, but also all of his restraint as he tethered to me in the softest way. It was a strange mix of careful indulgence and I could do nothing but weaken beneath it.

He broke briefly.

"Fuck... please fucking forgive me, sweetheart," he pleaded, slurring against my lips, not even able to fully part with them before he returned to the soft, sweet press. I could feel everything he'd been saying through that kiss alone.

His guilt and anguish, his longing. An aching desperation to have me back but also a patience to wait an eternity. It was somehow all there and I couldn't tell if it was tearing me apart or piecing me back together.

Regardless, I lulled into it, my prayers finally answered. I'd finally gotten what I had begged for and it was more comfort than I could have imagined.

He couldn't manage a clean break, his lips pecking at mine a few times before finally pulling back. The relief in his voice was thick, beneath it just a whisper of a smile.

"That's my girl, no more fucking tears," he murmured, seeing how my eyes had stopped their incessant leaking.

"Was that all you wanted, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice light again. "I wasn't sure you'd want me to, but… seems like you're doing okay now, a little less shitty, yeah?" He sighed, relieved and brushing my bangs back, letting a silent moment pass.

"Yeah, me too…" he said wistfully, as if I'd answered him.

I heard the click of a door opening. We'd been in a strange sort of dissociative, blank, pocket dimension just kind of floating there, but the noise sent my mind reeling to put it into context and we quickly found ourselves in my room. It was rather tame compared to a lot of other locations I'd been dropped into.

Kakuzu's voice made my ears prick, he talked so little. I suddenly realized he was right behind Hidan.

"Why is her face all wet, Hidan?" He was in rare form already with a sharp accusatory tone. Hidan, shockingly, didn't seem to let it bother him.

"She was crying again... not sure why. Seems alright now…" he said absently, deep in thought, "Man, I think Kisame might actually be right. I think she can fucking hear us in there."

Kakuzu grunted in response. "What makes you say that? Did you say something stupid to make her cry?"

"No," Hidan spat defensively.

Kakuzu grunted skeptically. "How is she otherwise, you temp her?" he followed up, approaching to stand beside Hidan.

"Yeah, just a little high, but not bad. Her cheeks have some color today," Hidan said, carding through my hair still.

They were talking about me like a hospital patient or something. I just laid there in my confusion, enjoying the gentle affections from one of the roughest men I knew.

Oh, make that two.

Kakuzu leaned over and placed a heavy hand on my forehead, lingering a moment before brushing one of my cheeks with a surprising tenderness.

"Hm, look at that. She does," Kakuzu agreed quietly like he was talking to himself.

"That's good, right? You think that means she'll wake up soon?" Hidan asked, unable to tone back his hopefulness.

"Hidan…" Kakuzu warned. It was obvious this question had been asked before, too many times from the sound of it.

"Yeah, yeah, I fucking know… 'How the fuck would I know that?'," Hidan mocked his partner's severe, gravelly voice. "I'm just fucking... curious about your opinion...fuck..."

Always so unruly.

"You want my opinion? Here it is. Shut the fuck up, Hidan," Kakuzu snapped back.

"Whatever…" Hidan waved him off.

He'd become so… agreeable? Well, for him, anyway.

"Here's another one for you," Kakuzu said, "you need to eat something."

Hidan grumbled, "Tch, I ate a few days ago."

"Right. What did I just say?" Kakuzu deadpanned.

"Not like I'm gonna die ," Hidan said, shrugging.

"Hidan… just fucking eat," Kakuzu ordered, followed by the sound of a paper bag thudding onto Hidan's lap.

"Ow, what the fuck dude, that shit fucking sack tapped me… fuck..." Hidan groaned, curling up a bit and grabbing his crotch.

"Stop being difficult. Things are hard enough as it is without you being a fucking brat," Kakuzu said without so much as an air of apology.

"The fuck is in here…? Shit is fucking heavy…" Hidan muttered, opening the bag, the pungent but pleasant scent of teriyaki jerky wafting out. "Holy fuck, where did you even get all this? This is like five fucking pounds of jerky, dude."

"Just eat," Kakuzu said firmly. He was done talking.

He never spoke much while he performed whatever bizarre ritual he had begun, his hands warm and humming as they passed over my form slowly, pressing and prodding, sometimes hovering in the same spot for a long time.

It was something I came to look forward to. With everyone acting like I was the invisible, mute woman, the receiving end of someone's touch was really all I had to find comfort in, and Kakuzu's in particular made me feel nice.

Snuggly and safe and warm.

He would just absolutely hate that description of what his hands on my body made me feel, but it couldn't be argued. Facts are facts.

He was a shnugglebug.

They glided across the bare skin of my belly, stilling from time to time before moving to my chest, halting over my heart for a while. Were it most anyone else's hands reaching up under my clothes to gently explore my body, I would have freaked out.

I think I may have at first, but over time I'd become accustomed to it. This was just something he did now. It was often and never in any invasive way.

"You never talk to her during this shit, or like… ever," Hidan remarked, his mouth full.

Silence.

"Why not?" Hidan prodded, mouth even fuller.

Kakuzu made a low rumbling noise of irritation in his throat.

"Yo," Kisame cut in, door clicking shut behind him. "How's the little beanarino today? I didn't miss the lunchtime reading, did I?" he asked, a little too worried, and I didn't get the sense it was about me .

"Nah, haven't even started. Kakuzu was just about to tell me why he doesn't talk to her even though he's in here all the fucking time," Hidan said non-chalantly.

"Hidan, like usual, is incorrect," Kakuzu said flatly, pulling his hands from me and straightening out my clothes.

Kisame couldn't be bothered with talk until he figured out where that delicious smell was coming from.

"What is that ?" Kisame asked pointedly, craning to look at the bag in Hidan's lap.

Hidan smirked. "Hm? Oh, this is my doctor recommended snack. It's a prescription so I probably shouldn't share," he said, overly apologetic.

"Oh ho ho, really? Think this doctor of yours would be willing to write me a prescription?"

Hidan shrugged, "Who knows, he's kind of a dick."

Kakuzu reached over with a long arm and snatched the bag from Hidan, tossing it over to Kisame. "Yes, he would. Here's your fucking script, Kisame."

" Score ," Kisame hissed victoriously, fisting into the bag.

"Hey, fuck you gramps, I thought you said I should fucking eat?!" Hidan shouted incredulously.

"And you did," Kakuzu said curtly.

Luckily the boys played nice and Kisame threw the bag back after taking out a handful. A Kisame-sized handful. Five pounds sounded like a lot until you took into account who was eating it.

"So you don't chat her up either, Kakuzu?" Kisame asked, licking his fingers. "That's shitty, I bet she's bored in there. Itachi's the same way though."

"Yeah, well, that's because Itachi is a little bitch," Hidan said matter-of-factly.

"Aw, are you implying that Kakuzu isn't ?" Kisame asked. "That's cute, man. I've never seen you guys get along so well. When's the wedding? Do I get a plus one?"

Hidan grinned. "Well we were thinking next Spring. Izumi would be fucking pissed if we didn't wait for her, she's the fucking flower girl after all. We're only inviting casual acquaintances, friends, and family though, sorry dude."

Kisame grinned back. "Damn man, in that case, sucks no one will be coming," he tutted with mock sympathy.

"Oh no, we'll both be coming. Kakuzu is a total fucking power-bottom," Hidan said with so much audacity it would have killed him had he not been immmortal.

Aaand suddenly Hidan was being choked out against the wall by Kakuzu, not that it stopped him from cracking up in his grumpy mug. Kisame also thought it was an absolute riot.

"Shut the fuck up, Hidan, you would only be so fucking lucky," Kakuzu growled against his ear, before dropping him to the ground after he felt he'd sufficiently crushed his trachea.

Hidan brushed himself off, half coughing, half laughing. "Damn dude, that was kind of sexy, you got a fucking crush on me or something?" Hidan asked, pushing his luck and grinning slyly.

"Either read the fucking lunch book or get the fuck out," Kakuzu demanded, sending a paperback book to flap through the air at Hidan's head. He managed to catch it, still laughing at his own joke.

'The lunch book'. It was so cute they called it that. They had unwittingly started a little book club between the three of them, meeting with me around lunch every day so Hidan could read the next chapter.

"Fucking fine, fine… wasn't a 'no' though…" he said, rubbing his throat and mumbling the last part under his breath. Kisame and him continued to snicker like idiots together until Hidan opened to the bookmarked page.

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Fire. Screaming. All that jazz.

Here we go again.

I was back in that nightmare, unshockingly. I couldn't get away from it. I was ready to just explore the thing thoroughly just to get it over with quicker.

My mom was once again pushing my brother at me, her body pinned beneath a giant wooden beam. Aki was wailing as loud as the cacophony around us. She urged me to take him and run. She wouldn't let me argue. I decided to give in this time.

Flustered and frantic, I took him from her in a rush. Aki wasn't quite an infant, he was old enough to walk at least, maybe one, a little older perhaps. His lungs were healthy and testing their limits as he shrieked in my arms.

I couldn't just leave her like that though, my mom. I stalled, unable to just blindly follow her order to flee.

"Take him and get somewhere safe!" She urged with a wince. I shook my head. How could I leave her behind?

"Honey, you need to run ! Take Aki and go ! I will be okay! Go find your father!" She was screaming with every ounce of energy left in her.

Something twisted happened along the way. Her voice distorted like it was being pulled through a bottle, warping and fluctuating in some unholy way. I choked down the urge to vomit as her face began melting as if she was made of wax.

"Oh… oh God," I croaked, covering Aki's frantically wandering eyes, stumbling backwards. Her half flesh-stripped, skeletal figure continued yelling at me to go and that time I listened.

I took Aki and I ran .

I ran in the only direction that was fully lit. I had tried going that way before and I didn't seem to make it anywhere... but my mind was barely functioning and I knew every other direction led me to nothing but an abyssal sea of darkness based on my previous exploration.

This time was different.

The scenery held no trick of the mind, no illusion as I blew past flaming pyres of rubble mixed with bodies, some corpses and some loudly on their way to becoming corpses. The trees and structures and people all aflame lit a bright path toward the figure in the distance.

A shadowy, thin figure with long hair blustering about in the surrounding firestorm.

These were details I couldn't make out before… something really was different now, I was getting closer.

Was this the person that caused all of this destruction? Or was it the one that would save us from it? I was supposed to find my father, was this him?

It was a chance I had to take. There was no other choice.

The closer I drew towards the figure, the slower I seemed to become. It was so strange, it wasn't that I'd grown sluggish or feeble in any way, and it's not that I was being deceived by some warping of my surroundings like before.

Aki was getting heavier in my arms and I was alarmed to find he'd grown practically twice his size when I looked down at him.

Something wasn't right.

I didn't dare stop running but I couldn't stop staring down at him. Why was he so freaking big all of a sudden?

Then it struck me… he didn't grow. I had gotten smaller.

Not just smaller though… I'd become a child .

Maybe 5 or 6 years old. The skin of my arms smooth and tanned, struggling to carry the increasingly hefty child in my underdeveloped muscles.

We were getting so close though. I realized with a trill that I could even make out some features of the man. At least, they seemed like a man, paler than any I'd seen before and… it seemed like… he was smiling?

I squinted, scrunching my face to get a better look as I trudged towards him.

Yes, he was definitely smiling. It wasn't broadly or even with teeth, just something quiet and patient upturning the corners of his lips.

That seemed good, right? Smiling was a friendly thing… right?

Something about it felt off though, like it sent some uneasy snake to squirm in my belly, but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know where else to go, and it wasn't just about me, I had Aki to worry about and my arms were growing so tired.

This man exuded nothing but pure power as he stood there patiently, wreathed in flame but none of it touching him. If he was an ally, he would be a good one to have.

"Help us! Please!" I cried out, my voice so squeaky and cherub-like. I'd almost forgotten I reverted back to my youth for a hot second. Hopefully that wasn't permanent…

Doubled over and huffing, straining to catch my breath, I finally came upon him. His face, while slightly unnerving, was strangely pleasant and calming. I felt helplessly pulled into his calculating gaze, the lavender markings around them were uniquely pretty, and the eyes themselves reminding me of a cat.

He stepped forward, stooping down to level my stare.

"Oh, you poor thing," he soothed with a sympathetic tilt of his brows, the firelight flickering vividly in the reflection of his eyes, still maintaining that subtle smile somehow. "Don't tell me you're all alone? This is a dangerous place for children right now."

"I-I was with my mom… but she… she got hurt. Sh-she told me to run, but I-I don't know where to go," the further I got in my explanation, the more I realized how utterly helpless I was and the more frantic I became.

It was as if my mind was also reverting to that of a child's. I seemed entirely unable to process my situation. If I thought I was quick to cry before, this version of myself put adult Izumi to shame .

The man had a gentle touch, smoothing down the back of my hair, still looking at me with that disarming stare.

Despite my severe case of faucet-face and an uncontrollable hiccup every few words, I continued rambling. "I-I have my… my br-brother too. Everything's s-so scary, will you… h-help us? P-please?"

His smile grew and the hand on my head pulled me closer to him as he crouched down fully.

"My, what a sweet little girl, taking care of your little brother like that," he said with a voice like honey. "I'm so glad you found me, Izumi. Of course I can help…"

My heart swelled as he lifted us both from the ground and began carrying us off into the darkness. Nevermind the fact that I hadn't given him my name.

"W-wait! Will you help my m-mom? She's b-back there!" I asked, crying out with a conflicted sob, relieved to be rescued but still terrified in every sense of the word.

"Oh, I'll come back for her," he assured into my hair as I squeezed tightly around his neck.

"H-how will you know who she is?" I asked.

"I know, child. Don't you worry..." he soothed, and while I couldn't see his face, I could still hear the smile.

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"Izumi, you wouldn't believe it," Kisame started, an excited tremor to him, "the most amazing thing happened today."

I couldn't help but giggle at his excitement.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I know what you're thinking, 'oh yeah? What's that?'," he said in a rather terrifying impression of me that was not at all accurate… I hoped. "Well let me tell you..."

I deadpanned. Why did I even bother speaking?

"Itachi woke up with the biggest fucking pimple this morning. You wouldn't believe it. Itachi, the perfectionist, a monster fucking zit, right on his nose."

There was a heavy sigh and I realized Itachi was there as well. It was distinctly his sigh.

Itachi spoke softly as usual and it was just such a soothing sound. It came so rarely.

"Kisame… are you, by chance, attempting to goad me into speaking by lying to Izumi about a fictional blemish of all things?"

Kisame turned to his partner with a benign expression. "Now what would make you think such a thing, Itachi? Not only that, but isn't it great just how well it worked?"

Itachi did not speak a word, giving a pointed look of disapproval at his aquatic companion.

"Aw come on, dude. You have to admit it worked. I bet Izumi is laughing her little ass off in there," he said, tapping on my forehead.

I scowled and swatted him away. I was not laughing my ass off, I was totally confused. And I was trying to catch a very elusive butterfly and they were not helping. I was seriously amazed all three of us were all on the same tree branch and it hadn't broken yet.

That didn't mean I wasn't happy to see them though… obviously. That and they clearly scared the butterfly away.

"Izumi, I need you to get your ass up just to talk some sense into this idiot. I know you can hear us in there. Some people don't think so, and some people are dead fucking wrong."

"Not this again…" Itachi muttered. "I'm going to go."

Kisame called after him using a colorful variety of names but the door did click shut behind him.

Odd, considering we were in a tree.

I made a note to explore the tree as I imagined it provided housing for elves or other magical creatures which could be fun to explore.

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" Domine omnipotens, sacrificio madens sanguine… "

Hidan was praying, muttering unintelligible words by my side.

" Audi verba mea, quaeso, deduc me. Fessus sum. infirmus sum. fessus sum. Dirige me. In tenebras exteriores. "

My hand was so small in his. He'd give it a squeeze from time to time, his thumb constantly rubbing over my knuckles.

" Hae te sustentent. Permitte mihi te lavari in hoc sanguine. in eo quoque lavo. Et nos unum sumus. "

This would go on for hours at a time. It was haunting and eerie to be honest, but his voice, deep and whispered, was like a drug and I would always drop what I was doing and lull into it.

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No one spoke. I wouldn't have even thought anyone was there if not for the warm, heavy weight on my head. Sometimes it would move through my hair and come down to rub against my cheek or gingerly press against the center of my forehead.

I imagined a tiny animal riding my head, something nuzzling, prodding me to do something , but I didn't know what. Everyone was always urging me to wake up, I supposed.

Maybe that was it.

But I was awake already… wasn't I?

Where was everyone, anyway? When was the last time I saw... Deidara and Sasori? My God. That thought gave my heart a little start. It felt like I had almost forgotten about them, it had been so long.

I needed to get out of this place. Everything was confusing, and when it wasn't...

It was just dark.

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The crickets rallied a chorus, the summer night fully in tune with them.

I was at a bathhouse with Hidan and Kakuzu, and, much to my delight or chagrin, I'm honestly not sure which, we were all unclothed and enjoying a good soak… and I was enjoying the view .

Hidan was, as per usual, holding my hand and staring at me intently.

"I'm fucking missing the hell out of you tonight, sweetheart… it's fucking bad . Miss that stupid fucking laugh of yours… your scrunched up face when I say some dumbass shit..." he said, holding my hand firmly against his chest.

He was always going on about all the things he missed about me. I think it was meant to sound sweet but his voice was oddly strained and only sent me worrying. It made me wonder if I was a ghost or something.

Maybe that's why no one could hear me...

"Hidan… are you sure you should be in here with her?" Kakuzu piped up wearily from the other side of the steaming pool.

I wasn't sure why he was wearing a large top hat or when he'd grown a mustache. It was a mood, and not a good one.

"Fuck off, I wouldn't fucking risk it if I thought otherwise. You know she makes them quieter, anyway," he retorted with a sneer.

I didn't say a word, I just cocked my head trying to figure out the meaning behind his words. He had made comments before about how I 'make everything quiet' and I'd never gotten to ask what that meant exactly.

Kakuzu chuffed. "Well to be safe, when I leave tonight, you leave."

"Fucking… yeah, whatever."

There was silence. Hidan brought my hand from his chest to his lips. He kissed my fingers and mumbled against them. "Kakuzu's still a big fucking prick, in case you'd forgotten… pretty tough to forget though…"

Kakuzu spoke to me directly, which was rare. "Yes, Izumi. I'm the fucking prick making sure you don't get killed by Hidan's better half," he said, his voice raised from across the pool.

His mustache seemed to be getting bigger. It was unnerving.

"Come on dude, I fucking hate when you call them that. And they're not that loud tonight, not like I'm gonna listen, anyway." He was back to brushing my hair with one hand, his other resting softly on my leg.

"Yes. I'm sure they'll be perfectly respectful of your feelings , like they always are."

"Look," Hidan said with a venomous level of seriousness. "I am in control around her. Me . I'm the one in fucking control. Not them. So fuck off and fuck you."

Kakuzu silently appraised his young partner, saying something so calmly that it only infuriated him more.

"I believe that you believe that, Hidan."

"Okay, you know what, let's fucking go. I'll fucking kill you right now, you great grandpa motherfucker," Hidan spat. There was a grinding metal on stone noise and I was shocked to see Hidan pull his scythe out, right there in the hot spring.

I shuddered at the thought of where he'd been keeping it.

"You'll kill me?" Kakuzu said, darkly humorous with a hint of challenge. "I'm the only person keeping her alive . I'd love to see you study all these texts and perform medical ninjutsu on the necessary level."

Hidan just glared at the older man. I was totally lost.

"Give it a try, Hidan. Let's see if you can reduce the swelling of her brain without making it explode. Let's see if you can manipulate your chakra to activate the right proteins in order to induce healing of any kind."

I preferred he didn't.

Hidan didn't say anything.

"As expected," Kakuzu said with a pointed look. "Why don't you stick to something you're good at and continue reading that book to her."

I had a sneaking suspicion that Kakuzu was the one that wanted to be read to. We did leave off at a very juicy moment.

"Fine…" Hidan spat, pulling the book out.

From where? I don't know. Again, I was concerned. Though not as much as I was with the scythe.

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An Aside: Kisame and Itachi

"Hey kiddo, keep just laying around like this and you'll lose all those massive muscles you worked so hard for," Kisame said, plopping down at the end of the bed by Izumi's feet.

It creaked beneath him as he sunk down. He placed his giant hand on her ankle and rubbed it as close to gently as he could get.

"Ah, I'm only kidding, you're still jacked as hell," he said with a smile. "Oh and get excited, I brought the quiet one."

Itachi approached the side of the bed, staring down at Izumi's impossibly frail form laying there, her chest raising and lowering in a shallow rhythm.

"Fucking say something, man," Kisame said under his breath with exasperation.

There was a sigh to meet him with equal parts frustration. "She can't hear me, Kisame. There's no point to this."

"Oh yeah? Well if it's just you and me then, what do you think of Izumi?" Kisame asked pointedly.

He was met with silence, Itachi giving Kisame a sharp glare.

"What's wrong, Uchiha? If she can't hear, I don't see what the problem is. What's your honest opinion of her? Come on, we've talked about this before," he pushed.

"I suppose there is a very small chance you could be right, however unlikely it is," Itachi admitted, justifying his non-answer.

Kisame gave Itachi a knowing little smile. "Mhmmm. Well I, for one, think she's fucking rad. Probably the funniest, most thoughtful little twerp I've ever met and not killed, and she's just too fucking cute sometimes, you know? A bit of a dope, but I think it adds to the charm." He continued to rub her ankle, looking particularly endearing for the giant blue brute that he was.

When Itachi said nothing, Kisame kept on him. "See how easy that was? Now you go."

Itachi sighed. "You said everything I was going to."

"Oh really? You were going to call her a thoughtful little twerp?"

"Mm. Yes. I was."

"That's oddly specific of you, and not really in line with your usual vocabulary," Kisame remarked thoughtfully.

"Yes, so you can understand my speechlessness now, it's a great coincidence indeed," Itachi said, patience rapidly diminishing. He sat in the chair beside the bed.

"And you were going to say she was too fucking cute?" Kisame pressed.

"I… well," he started, mildly flustered, "yes… I suppose so," Itachi resigned himself to admit. It was the easiest course of action.

"Interesting." Kisame mused. "This coincidence just keeps getting bigger, huh?"

"Yes, it reminds me of your mouth, Kisame," Itachi said dismissively, taking Izumi's tiny hand into his. He briefly traced the lines of her palm before clasping it entirely within both of his.

Kisame's face split with a chuckling grin. "Man, you are something else. More fucking layers than the world's largest onion, you know that? Always coming in here just sitting there, holding her hand and shit, but you wont even say a fucking nice word to her."

Kisame could and would be very irritating about this sort of thing. He was constantly pressing Itachi to go see Izumi, but Itachi rarely agreed.

She was just difficult to stomach like that. He didn't know how Hidan was always doing it, staring at her fragile body that looked like it'd been torn from another plane, a hellish one.

There was also always the temptation to blink her into his tsukuyomi, but it had been made clear that was off limits. If her body wasn't strong enough to wake up, it should not be subjected to such a thing.

Itachi had no qualms with this, he agreed entirely, but it still didn't dissolve his intense desire to talk to her.

It was hard to get a moment alone with Izumi, much to Itachi's dismay and yet another reason he avoided it altogether. On the few occasions he was able to slip in to see her without anyone around, he found it impossible to resist just touching her.

Just holding her hand and feeling her warmth was plenty. He'd swipe the hair from her face and press his fingers into her forehead in some silent plea for her to come back.

He'd never dare to do that in front of anyone else, Kisame being an exception.

"Wasn't there something you wanted to do in here?" Itachi asked, redirecting the conversation.

"Oh yeah! Izumi, you're gonna love it. The old bastard made your room so fucking boring, but I got all that stuff from Jomae, gonna make it cute as hell, girl."

He shuffled and milled about the room, laying out a rug and hanging string lights all about. He'd chatter for Izumi's sake as he went along, Itachi only commenting shortly from time to time, usually to correct some detail in a story Kisame greatly exaggerated in order to look cooler.

"Oh, Itachi, before I forget," Kisame said. "I'm hanging up all these pictures but you should hold onto this one. Kakuzu found it in her belt."

Itachi took it into one of his hands, staring at it intensely. He hadn't seen this photo before. After a moment of silence, he breathed out something quiet and aching and melancholy. His other hand squeezed around Izumi's.

"It was in her belt?" Itachi asked, not as though he didn't hear Kisame originally. He just didn't know what else to say, or maybe he needed to hear it again for some reason.

He continued staring at it. It was of Izumi and him, Itachi giving her a very secretive, doting look from behind when he thought no one was watching. He inwardly admonished himself for being so careless to allow for such a slip-up.

"Yeah, must have been a reason she wanted to keep it separate. Can't imagine why, not like you're looking at her all longingly and shit in it," Kisame teased.

Itachi made a noise in the back of his throat, still squeezing her hand.

It genuinely surprised Kisame when Itachi said anything more, albeit in a low, quiet voice. "This day seems so distant now… remember how she looked?"

Especially something sentimental like that.

Kisame got quiet too as he continued stabbing pictures against the corkboard with little kunai-shaped thumb tacks, taking a moment to really look at some of them. "Yeah… before she became a real mess, you mean?... not that I'd forget that either."

"Mm… I mean when she walked out from behind the screen."

"Yeah. Shut us right the fuck up, that's for sure," Kisame laughed. "That girl never had any clue how she looked, man. Not a single one. Like I said, a dope."

"She really didn't," Itachi agreed absently, thumbing at the photo before putting it away in his pocket.

"That was a lot of talk, Uchiha. Not worried she can hear, anymore?" Kisame teased.

Itachi made a muddled noise like he'd forgotten about the self-imposed rule before regaining his composure. "I… everyone thought she looked nice. It's not just me. That's nothing unusual."

"Just nice ?"

"Quite nice," Itachi begrudgingly amended.

"Geez, man, if I were your woman I'd feel like a sack of potatoes too with compliments like that."

"Well, you're not, thank you for the mental image though. And she's not either… though it makes for a nicer visual I suppose..." he said, muttering the last part to himself.

"Well thank God you're not, considering the way you've managed to destroy her already shitty self-esteem. You know she's not gonna be happy when she comes to and sees herself."

Itachi furrowed his brow thinking about this. He hadn't really considered how she might react to her new scars. He never stopped thinking she was the most charming creature alive so it hadn't occurred to him she'd be affected at all.

"You think she'll be upset by them?" he asked, slowly tracing the deep, pink line down her cheek.

Kisame scoffed. "Of course, she's the most needlessly self-conscious little twit there is."

"You're probably right… guess I'll have to leave that to Hidan," Itachi said, barely able to get the words out. He'd never seen them together in any official capacity, but the way Hidan had been with her throughout the ordeal left little doubt in his mind it was only a matter of time.

"Hm, that might be alright," Kisame speculated, "knew the guy had silver hair but damn, who knew he had a silver tongue?"

Itachi contemptuously agreed with a small noise. He secretly couldn't stand when Kisame would compliment Hidan in any capacity. It was probably just because he was right though. The man had a charm, as much as he hated to admit it. He seemed to know all the right things to say to her. Itachi never did, he just knew how to dig himself a hole.

"I'm all done," Kisame announced, stuffing some garbage in a bag as he approached Izumi once more. "What do you think, eh?" he gestured to the room.

Itachi scanned it briefly.

A very plush, oversized rug now covered most of the floor, books were overflowing and chaotically arranged on the bookshelf. The stuffed animals won at Jomae all colluded in the corner armchair and the corkboard was alight with a soft pink glow from the cherry blossom string lights weaving around it. Illuminated were all the silly pictures taken from that day, as well as a caricature drawing of Sasori and Deidara, all pinned to the board with miniature kunai and shuriken.

"Good," Itachi said.

"...Good?" Kisame repeated, scoffing with disgust. "Just good ?"

Itachi realized he'd offended him and on a very interesting level. He tried to fix it.

"And… it's um… it is cute, I think," Itachi added with a questioning tone, hoping he got the answer right.

"You're damn right it's fucking cute!" Kisame said, grinning and very pleased with this acknowledgement. Sometimes Kisame could be so simple.

"She'll like it," Itachi said quietly, brushing some of Izumi's hair behind her ear.

"Yeah… hopefully." Kisame said, also taking to staring down at the young woman laying still in the bed. "You want more time with her?" he asked his partner.

Itachi shook his head. "This has been enough."

"Yeah… she's kind of hard to look at sometimes, huh?" Kisame said, somewhat surprising Itachi.

Kisame was always the one cracking jokes and acting so nonchalant about the whole thing, but maybe some of it was just a mask. Maybe Itachi wasn't the only one that wore one. He recalled Kisame's utterly destroyed expression the day she died and that alone reminded him how seriously he took it.

"Yes," Itachi agreed, standing up and gently tapping his fingers into the center of her forehead.

"Alright Izumi, we're heading out. We've got a mission. You'll behave while we're gone, right? No giving Kakuzu a hard time, okay?" Kisame said, looking down with a powerless tilt of his head.

Kisame looked at Itachi who was silent and looking to leave. "Come on, man. You should say something ."

Itachi glared at Kisame but eventually gave in with a sigh. "Izumi… I don't really have the right to ask anything of you but... please be awake by the time we get back. Just… please."

"See? That was good, man. And did it kill you?" Kisame encouraged with a pat on his shoulder as the two departed.

"Nearly…" Itachi mumbled back, earning a raucous laughter and jarring slap on the back from Kisame.

Notes:

Honestly... I could have gone the route where Izumi just wakes up and wonders how much time has passed, and I'm sure some of you are perhaps wishing I had lol, but I did a lot of research on coma patients and I thought it was fascinating that this actually happens; the weird dream state and things your brain does to try to make sense of what it's hearing around you in reality.

I wanted to show not only what Izumi had to go through, all of her confusion and frustration, but also what some of the guys were having to grapple with as well.

I've also been informed the chapters are getting a bit long :3 sorry guys! Really not trying to torture y'all with a slog! I will reel it in 3

Oh, also! I hit 100 kudos, so thanks so much to all of you! I know that's like... chump change compared to so many other fics but I'm happy with it :3

Until next time 3 thanks y'all

Chapter 41: Days Gone

Notes:

CW: Discussions of death

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

My mouth was dry. Oh God was it dry. Why was it so dry? That and there was a weird, stale taste in my mouth that made me scowl.

The room I was in was odd and unfamiliar, even the smell of it was weirdly sterile. I felt like I was in a daze. It was like looking through a greasy lens that put a dream-like, hazy sheen over everything. Any noise I made seemed to have an echo and I couldn't tell if it actually existed or only in my head.

It felt different from my other dreams though… wait... dreams ? Was that... where I'd been? Had I just been dreaming? Was I still dreaming or...?

I felt heavy . Everything about me, my limbs, my eyelids, my tongue. Everything.

The room I found myself in was decorated really... cute? Where the heck was I?

A large, plush rug covered most of the floor and a bookshelf butted up against the opposite wall with ample space and already quite a few books on it. I recognized them as the ones I had picked out from the store.

Was this not a dream? Ugh, I was just so groggy. I had never felt pain in my dreams, not physical pain anyway, but this? This hurt . Everything ached.

It had to be real. And if that was the case… how long had I been asleep for? My body felt as though it'd been out of commission for ages .

I kept staring at the books, my eyes slowly adjusting to the dimly lit room, bringing them into focus. So even after all that, Kisame made sure to get them?

He was a good friend.

String lights hung around a framed cork board with a bunch of polaroid photos pinned to it. On the nightstand beside me was a little marionette mixed in with a bunch of medical tools. From the strings dangled a lion wearing a tiny party hat.

There was a little note from Sasori. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust but I did eventually manage to read it.

"I told you I'd get you something nice to remember me by, didn't I? Sorry, not sorry."

I smiled. Always so snarky. I'd have to thank him later.

Itachi was right though, there were medical texts everywhere in stacks and sprawled out across the floor and on every surface available, with scribbles and notes in the margins and on bookmarks and loose pieces of paper scattered about.

Kakuzu had been very busy indeed. But he wasn't there now. No one was.

I didn't want to be alone. I couldn't stand it. I'd never felt such an aversion to isolation before, but suddenly it felt overwhelming and all-encompassing.

I needed to find someone. Anyone. It felt like I'd been alone for an eternity or two. I needed to see if they'd be able to hear me now, and if I could touch them.

I shifted to get off the bed and frowned, finding myself attached to a bag of liquid hanging nearby. A needle fed a tube into my arm, connecting me to the thing.

I stared at it for a long time, unable to make a decision about it.

Was it friend or foe? Good tube? Bad tube? Everything was just so difficult to process in the fog of my mind, even things that felt like they should be simple or mundane. I felt oddly helpless in my mental capabilities, which were usually all I had going for me, to be frank.

Who's Frank?

Even my alter was confused.

I ripped the tube out, tired of thinking, hissing at the pinching pain it caused.

I wondered about the length of time I'd been "away" when my legs immediately gave out as I pushed myself off the bed to stand, hitting the floor painfully. My entire body pulsed with discomfort as I tried to stand.

My muscles had apparently atrophied. I wasn't prepared for that.

It took considerable effort to pull myself to my feet, but I managed with enough straining and groaning. I found I could walk, just not particularly fast or well, and probably not for long.

I'd have to find someone quickly. I meandered into the bathroom and froze at the sight of myself in the mirror.

A hitching breath.

It was like I was staring at someone else, some other version of me. My hair was a little longer, my cheeks had lost some of their childish roundness, but much more noticeable than that were the vivid tracks cutting through my previously unmarked skin.

My fingers were trembling as I brought them to touch the scars that now ran throughout my skin. I had to see if they felt as real as they looked.

They did.

They were scattered all over. I had two on my face alone, angry and pink, one running through my forehead and cutting into my brow, another streaking down my cheek from below the corner of my eye all the way to my jaw.

Even with all of the salves and concoctions Kakuzu had, they were still very visible, an attestation to their original severity, if I had to hazard a guess.

I cringed at my reflection, my throat producing some sort of disgusted noise as I touched the one on my shoulder, my arm, and another slashing across my chest and up my neck. I imagined there were many more beneath Kakuzu's shirt that hung loosely off my body.

Talk about repulsive.

I needed to stop looking at myself. I couldn't stand that sight.

I shuffled over to the door and it opened with a soft click. Making my way out into the hall shakily, I pressed against the wall to support myself as I travelled down the corridor.

It dawned on me that the floorplan of this place was different and I would have to memorize an entirely new labyrinth. I agonized at the thought.

"Hello?" I croaked before falling into a fit of coughing. Had to dust off the old voicebox it seemed.

Okay, not calling out for anyone. Got it.

Hallways like these challenged me on a good day, let alone in my dazed and confused state. It was my waking nightmare.

Just then, someone popped their head out of a room down the hall.

My heart leapt at first, thrilled at the prospect of having found someone so quickly. Then I realized with a grimace, it was no one I knew. My leaping heart needed to chill the heck out. And it did, immediately plummeting though the stone as I wondered if I was on the wrong floor.

Had I accidentally gone downstairs? Was this the subordinate floor?

The person wore an akatsuki cloak, however… and subordinates didn't get those. What was up with the swirly orange mask though? I just couldn't picture any of the guys choosing to wear such a silly looking thing.

"Neh?" he questioned, staring me down as I did the same to him. In fact, I think I probably looked quite aggressive, my brows furrowed, squinting at him from under them very suspiciously.

I was shocked into stumbling backwards by a sudden outburst on his part.

"Nyaaaaaa! She's awake ! She's awaaaaaaake !" He was shouting far too loud and moving far too fast. He bolted out into the hall and began racing in small circles, waving his arms in the air wildly as he continued to yell.

My God. Apparently this is not a drill.

For such a tall figure, he had an oddly childish voice and demeanor.

Suddenly he was running directly at me .

I'll admit… I may have freaked out a little. In my defense though, I was highly confused and I had poor experiences with strangers in Akatsuki base hallways.

It didn't feel good, I knew it was dumb, but I managed to draw out some power to use my abilities.

It was more instinctual than anything to be honest, and I was thankful that the walls were made of stone. As he quickly approached, I shot my hand out and, with a strained grunt, pulled a horizontal column of stone out to extend across the hallway at his chest level.

"WAHHH!" the man screamed as he was promptly clotheslined.

He laid on his back, groaning and fussing something fierce, to the point that I couldn't believe he was actually a member of the Akatsuki. I huffed shallowly, holding myself up against the wall.

Another door opened a little further down. Finally a familiar face. I cracked a smile and almost cried at the sight of Kakuzu's supremely grumpy expression as he shouted down the hall, "What the hell is the problem out here?"

He was glaring at the man laying on the ground so intently that he didn't even notice me at first, but when he did, it only got worse.

"Fucking… Izumi . What the hell are you doing out of bed!?" he boomed, the echo reverberating in the hallway, or maybe just my head. I couldn't be sure, given my state.

Though I was certain his hulking form stomping over to me, stepping over the mystery man and ducking under the stone clothesline pole, was not a hallucination.

He towered over me, fuming. I smiled up at him weakly. I was just so happy to see him, I had little consideration for his ill temper.

"Was that your doing?" he asked, pointing over his shoulder.

"Yes…" I admitted with some remorse. Though it may have just been the hoarseness of my voice from disuse.

He sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"He scared me," I defended.

"He's just an idiot, now get back to your room," he ordered.

He could hear me… he could actually hear me and respond. I smiled up at him so widely it hurt.

I put my arms out expectantly and got another drawn out, perturbed sigh from him. It was simply the prerequisite before doing anything nice for me. Wordlessly, he bent down and gathered me up to carry me on his hip.

The man on the ground watched us, muttering to himself. "Neh…? Kakuzu is being so nice to Izumi…"

He jumped up to his feet, calling after us, "Kakuzuuuu, why don't you ever carry Tobi like that?"

I gaped at his audacity and looked at Kakuzu for his reaction. His eyes were closed tight with irritation, that ever-familiar vein pulsing in his forehead. I had missed that vein.

I reached up and traced along it.

The hand not supporting my bottom shot out behind him, detaching from his arm with the inky black tendrils holding the connection, slamming into Tobi's chest. It grasped at his cloak and yanked him toward us, slamming his face not once, but three times into the sideways stone pillar jutting across the hallway.

Kakuzu's hand released its grip and the body fell limply to the floor with a dithery whine.

That seems about right.

Kakuzu looked at me and smirked at my expression. He may as well have been beaming at me.

"Is he gonna be okay?" I asked quietly.

"I hope not. He's an even bigger pain in the ass than you," he mumbled, giving me side-eye.

I wrapped my arms around Kakuzu's neck and deflated against him with a huge breath of relief I hadn't realized was in me.

"I missed you," I said quietly, allowing my eyes to shut with a press of my forehead into the crook of his neck.

I didn't tell my fingers to do this, I didn't even realize they were doing it at first, but they gripped at him and smoothed over his back, feeling at him repeatedly to make sure he was real in a compulsive fashion.

He didn't say anything, but I felt the weight of his hand against my back, sliding up and cupping the nape of my neck against him, his fingers coiling loosely around it with a light squeeze. We didn't have to walk far, it's not like I'd made it any impressive distance.

Kakuzu tried to lay me back down on the bed but I clung to him. I wasn't ready yet. I liked the feeling of being held too much to let go so soon.

"What the hell are you doing?" he complained, resigning himself to carry me still, just standing there at the edge of the bed with a heft to readjust me.

"Please, not yet, Kakuzu? I'm not ready..." I managed, the waterworks pressing at the edges of my eyes like they were nothing but flimsy, makeshift dams trying to hold back oceans.

"Not ready for what? Lying on a fucking bed? I'm not asking you to do anything," Kakuzu remarked back, annoyed.

Oh, I had irritated him. It was just as I remembered. I absolutely delighted in it.

A weeping, strangled noise ruptured from me as the dams burst open. I couldn't process. It was too real, too good to be true. I could bother him, I could touch him, and he heard me and felt me and got annoyed.

I both heard and felt him sigh deeply beneath me and it made me laugh weakly through my elated tears, using what little strength I had to squeeze him tighter.

He allowed me some time to cry it out, stalwart and still as I shook against him.

After a few moments of calm, he asked me if I was done. "I need to get you hooked back up to the IV. Looks like some idiot ripped it out," he muttered.

"You're not going to just leave after, are you?" I murmured into his shoulder.

"No," he said flatly.

"Okay…" I loosened against him hesitantly and he took the opportunity to peel me off and lay me on the bed. He regarded me with a strange look in his eyes. They weren't steely and hardened like usual, there was something relieved yet hesitant about them.

"Don't fuck with this again," Kakuzu grumbled as he futzed with the tube I'd yanked from my arm.

"I was confused. I still… kind of am. Kakuzu… was I out for long?" I asked, rubbing my face before watching him re-insert a needle into my arm with a wince.

"Sixty three days," he said bluntly.

Wow. He knows down to the day. Someone give this man a prize.

"Oh…" was all I could manage. I'd just lost two months of my life. It was an odd feeling to comprehend. I'm not sure I even did. I'd have to let that sink in.

"Your body was complete shit at healing itself so it took some time to get everything under control. I had to quickly learn how to do so… so I would appreciate it if you stayed the fuck in bed, Izumi."

I was speechless.

Only for a second, of course.

"Kakuzu…" I said softly, looking around at all the strewn books, imagining all the sleepless nights and effort he put into keeping me alive.

I didn't even have to imagine it really. In a peculiar way, in some seemingly distant, yet near part of my mind, I recalled the conversations and page turning that I'd inserted into my dreams over the course of the last two months and realized how much of it was probably rooted in reality.

I very much understood the effort he'd put into saving my life and, out of respect for him, I would never let him know that.

"Shut up," he said quickly, pressing at my stomach just beneath the ribs with a chakra-laden hand to examine my guts, I assumed. The feeling was all too familiar, he would do this all the time while I was sleeping, now I finally understood why .

Oh, how I missed this game. Cue me being sentimental, then Kakuzu pretending to despise it, then I continue anyway. Spoiler alert: Kakuzu doesn't actually despise it.

"You saved my life..." I said, trying to keep my beans together.

"It was something I needed to learn anyway. Being immortal, I always intended to get more medical ninjutsu under my belt," he justified coldly, moving his hand down, pressing firmly on my lower abdomen. Judging from his satisfied expression, everything seemed to be in order.

"Oh, so I was just a good little guinea pig," I mused, smiling. I was talking and he was talking back. I couldn't have been happier.

"Yes," he agreed, seemingly thankful I'd allow him to pretend I was of no more import than a rodent to him.

"Well in that case, I'm glad I could help," I said haughtily.

He scoffed and shook his head, finishing up his impromptu physical examination.

"I need to test your cognitive ability to make sure you didn't become even more of a dumbass. I'm going to ask you questions. You're going to answer them."

I liked these instructions. They were easy to follow.

"Yes, doctor," I said, very seriously. He deadpanned.

"What is my name?" he asked.

"Kakuzu," I said with a smile.

Nailed it.

"What's my last name?"

"Psh, easy, it's… uh, it's…" I filed through all the name cabinets of my brain, coming up empty.

Oh god. You really did get dumb.

He seemed to enjoy watching me rack my brain for this information. I slowly narrowed my eyes on him.

"Hey. Wait a minute. I've never known your last name," I accused.

"Correct."

"Oh, don't tell me you got funny while I was out," I tutted.

"Was I not before?" he asked blandly.

I pursed my lips at him. "Is this part of the questionnaire?"

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes, suppressing a smile. "Hilarious."

"Wrong," he spat, writing something aggressively on his clipboard.

"Hey!" I cried, "what are you writing!?"

"That's none of your concern," he said coldly.

"Um, it's all of my concern," I bit back, folding my arms and wincing as I hit against the tube stuck in me.

"Izumi…" Kakuzu growled, jumping up to pull my arm straight and inspect it. After seemingly determining it was fine, he shifted his eyes to glare at me. "Be. Careful."

"I'll try… sorry Kakuzu…" I said, giving him an apologetic look.

He sighed with frustration and resigned himself to saying, "It's… fine," with a heavy hand atop my head.

I had come to understand this as one of the only ways Kakuzu knew to show affection. A hand on a head.

It made me wonder what his childhood was like. Like… was that something his dad did? Was that the only affection he'd ever been shown?

Regardless, I was practically purring beneath the weight of it, closing my eyes and enjoying it while it lasted. I knew he was frugal with such gestures. I was shocked when he extended it, pulling my head against his torso and dropping his other arm to my shoulder to keep me there even more firmly.

"You've been such a pain," he said, gruffly but barely above a whisper.

He would absolutely hate this, but I could hear the effort in his voice, trying to hide everything he'd been going through, likely alone, over the past couple months. It was plain as day. He shouldered so much by himself, never willing to let anyone in.

I was all too happy to curl my arms around him. Slowly though, so as not to scare him away. He was like a stray cat that I wanted to coax into the warmth of a home, but he was just too feral to understand what love even looked like anymore and what was good for him.

It felt like stray kitty Kakuzu was finally coming in, even if just for a moment. I needed to make sure I didn't startle him away with too much of a gesture.

"I know… I'm sorry, Kakuzu. I don't mean to be a pain. Do you think you'll find it in one of your hearts to forgive me?" I asked. I knew he'd need a question tacked on or else he wouldn't know how to respond without any guidance. Then he'd definitely freak out and pull away.

He chuffed at my question and seemed to be mulling it over.

"Maybe in the fish's. Maybe ," he said dryly.

I smiled, my cheek pressed into his stomach and my tiny fingers lightly rubbing his back reassuringly.

"You still have Lucky's heart?" I asked with a disbelieving smile.

He grunted an affirmation.

Suddenly he pulled away, practically ripping me off the bed with him. He pushed me back to keep me there.

"Hidan is coming," he said, moving to sit in the chair and taking to writing on his clipboard again. He seemed almost… embarrassed? Oh, he was too cute.

He was a stray again, but I was determined to get him to come inside once more eventually, maybe for a little longer next time.

Perhaps we'll try the old 'here kitty kitty kitty pspspspsps' trick.

I tried to imagine what Kakuzu's reaction to such a thing would be. It was hard to pindown. I'd have to try it out one day in earnest.

One day when he was least expecting it.

Um, that's literally every day. Guarantee the dude is never expecting that.

He must have sensed Hidan's chakra, but only a moment later, even I could tell. His footsteps were not light and he was obviously barrelling down the hall towards my room.

The door burst open. Hidan charged in, skidding to a halt at the sight of me.

He stared at me. I stared at him.

My heart swelled and seized as I waited for a reaction, but nothing was happening. He appeared to be quite literally frozen, breath held and eyes trained deadly still on me. They were blinking, refreshing, seeing if I would still be there from one moment to the next.

I blinked back.

"H-hey you," I said, barely audible with a small smile, the sight of him enough to make me lose my voice.

"Holy fuck, this is real," he said in disbeleif, suddenly finding his ability to move, though his knees sagged for a second.

He strode over fervently, promptly taking my face in his hands, and crushed his lips against mine like a desert-stranded man finding water for the first time.

His hands were soon fisting into my hair to feel that I was there and making sure I couldn't go away again. Heavy inhales and exhales blustered from his nostrils just so he wouldn't need to break our kiss, and I could feel the weight of his worry begin to diffuse with each one.

I was immediately swept up by his fervor, wrapping my fingers around his wrists as I kissed him back. I could actually kiss him back . I could actually feel him. So I did, I let my hands wander and do what some might consider stranger things.

They pawed at his face, feeling the planes of it, his brow ridge, the bridge of his nose, cheeks, jaw, hair, all of it. I just wanted to feel him beneath my fingers. As far as the actual kiss went, he didn't even use tongue, which was very unlike him to be honest, but I understood that it wasn't meant to be sexual.

He simply needed to feel me there, alive against him. And I was no different in what I needed from him.

It was probably for the best anyhow, considering Kakuzu was in the room with us. Though based on how Hidan spoke to me in front of him over the course of my coma, I sensed Kakuzu was already well aware that what we had was a little more than platonic…

Just a little...

I didn't really care at that point anyway. I was just elated to be alive and awake and have this absurdly handsome, sweet man straight up mackin' on me like his immortal life depended on it.

"Hidan, for fuck's sake, be gentle with her. I just got done fixing her," Kakuzu warned, causing Hidan to smirk against my lips.

He finally broke away simply because he was smiling too big and then I was a grinning idiot as well, fueled by him.

"Fucking… Jashin… you're actually here, sweetheart. It doesn't feel fucking real. I thought I'd be waiting forever… and I would have, too," he said, laughing, hitting his forehead against mine and holding me there with a shaky breath.

I closed my eyes, leaning into it. "I know… I'm here, Hidan. I never meant to disappear like that, I'm so sorry," I whispered, my hands finding his bare chest and pressing flush against it.

His skin was such a comfort beneath my fingers. I let them fan across his pectorals, feeling at his collar bone, over the slope of his shoulders and neck. I couldn't stop touching him.

"God, that was the worst torture of my fucking life…" he muttered with another deep breath.

This coming from the man who has repeatedly stabbed himself through the heart.

I moved to pull away, I just wanted to look at him, but he tightened his grip on my hair and released a massive sigh, potent with all things anxious and dreading finally expelling from him after months of metastasizing.

"Not yet, sweetheart. Just… not fucking yet," he said, his voice quiet and uneven. I understood all too well, I had just done something similar to Kakuzu. I would have stayed like that forever if he asked.

He planted another kiss on my lips before moving across my face, kissing my cheeks, my chin, my eyes, eyebrows, forehead, probably some pimples, definitely some scars. You name it, if it was on my face, he was kissing it.

I couldn't help but giggle into it and I could feel his smile against me as I did.

Eventually he loosened his grip in my hair, his hands sweeping down to hold my face. He stared down at me like I'd come back from the dead. Just pure disbelief and elation. He shook his head a little, brows furrowed.

"I am one lucky son of a bitch," he muttered.

I scoffed with a shake of my head. "I'm the lucky one. I should probably be dead. Thank God I had you guys."

Hidan made a disgusted noise at the thought. "Yeah, you have no idea, baby girl. I gotta figure out a damn way to make you immortal, like yesterday."

"Why don't I just do it the same way you did it?" I asked the obvious question, not actually entertaining the idea. Living forever sounded terrifying, even more so than death.

"Fuck no, like I'd put you through that hell," he said like it was so obvious. It was not. I didn't even know how he became immortal, but I was suddenly very curious.

"She could do it how I did it," Kakuzu muttered in the background, half paying attention as he studied one of the many books in front of him.

"And be all fucked up with stitches all over her? Gross, dude. Fuck outta here with that bullshit," Hidan said, looking appalled.

Hidan and Kakuzu began bickering and I tuned them out, spiraling into a depressing thought.

Maybe I didn't have stitches all over me... but I had a lot of scars now. Really freaking big ones. The two didn't seem all that different to me. Did that mean Hidan would think my scars were gross…? I mean, I couldn't blame him. That was my first reaction too.

He sensed the dour shift in my expression with just a glance and immediately dropped the argument, turning to me and taking my face into his hands again. It was like his part-time job at that point.

Izumi face holder.

Some experience required.

"Hey… hey hey hey, what's wrong? Baby girl?" His eyes became frantic as they flitted across my face. I could tell he'd been more than high-strung these last two months, he couldn't handle anything going wrong. That included my mood.

I wouldn't bother him with my silly insecurities.

I shook my head, swallowing. "It's nothing, I think I'm just overwhelmed. It's hard to believe I was gone for that long… you know?"

"I do… I really fucking do," he said, petting my hair and tucking me under his arm. I decompressed into him.

"Thanks for keeping me company, by the way… both of you," I said.

Kakuzu grunted without even looking up. Hidan cocked his head, giving me a confused look.

I laughed, sometimes he looked so cute.

"I could hear you guys sometimes, you know. Bickering and chattering away. It helped… with the loneliness," I said, smiling, thinking back to much of the only company I had while I was trapped inside.

"No fucking way. So that fish fuck was right ?" Hidan balked at the thought.

"I don't think I could all the time. But yeah, you visited me a lot. Kakuzu too," I said fondly.

"I had to be in here to fix you," Kakuzu said like he was correcting an error in something I said, as if he had no choice in the matter.

"Ah. Otherwise you would have been nowhere to be seen, is that right?" I asked, snarky as all heck. I knew he was just putting on some tough guy front for whatever reason. It was ingrained in him at that point.

He glared at me.

I squinted at him. "I do hope you realize that in your quest to excuse yourself from being perceived as caring , heaven forbid, you admitted to putting in much more effort than simply visiting since you were in here working to save me?" I said all in one breath.

"Ugh, I'm not dealing with this," Kakuzu groaned, standing to leave.

"Okay fine, I'll just see you later," I said, smiling. "Are the others here? Itachi, Kisame? Dei, Sasori? Would you mind just letting them know I'd like to see them?"

Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged a look.

"Itachi and Kisame are out on a job," Kakuzu said dismissively, opening the door.

"Okay… what about Dei and Sasori?" I asked hopefully.

He made a disgruntled noise before looking at Hidan. "I'll let you tell her."

He shut the door behind him.

I looked at Hidan. "Tell me what?" I asked hesitantly.

"Aw fuck… that fucking asshole leaving it to me… I'm no good at this shit," Hidan muttered to himself, looking down at me with some sort of pitious look.

"Hidan…?" I asked, biting my lip and staring up at him with big, worried eyes. I had a horrible pit in my belly.

"Shit, Izumi… don't look like that, baby girl… not before I even fucking tell you," Hidan said, his brows arching sympathetically as he looked down at me.

"Tell me what , Hidan?" I begged. That look he was giving me meant nothing good.

He looked around helplessly like he might find something that would assist him in that moment. Shockingly, it seemed to work. His eyes grew at the little marionette on the nightstand.

He sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing the lion puppet, examining it. He also looked at the little note Sasori left with it and let out a little laughing scoff.

"The little shit…" he said to himself, turning over the marionette in his hands. I looked at him expectantly.

He cleared his throat. "Sooo, Sasori got this for you back in Jomae," he said, making it walk up my leg before having him sit on my tummy to stare at me. He nodded towards it in some gesture for me to take it from him.

And I did, making him do a little dance.

Hidan breathed out and shifted uncomfortably. "I don't think he knew when he got it for you… that it would be a parting gift but uh… that's uh… that's what it is."

It wasn't often that I saw Hidan so serious and not confident in his words. He wasn't even swearing.

"He… he left the Akatsuki?" I asked, hoping to God he just said 'yes'.

It was clear based on his expression that was not what he wanted me to ask. He wanted me to just get it.

"Sweetheart… he left this fucking world," he said, giving me a pitious look and a tilt of his head, tucking some hair behind my ear.

As the meaning behind what he said fully dawned on me, a horrible, squeaky noise leaked out of my throat. My breath hitched and I dropped the marionette as my hands clapped against my mouth, my head slowly shaking back and forth.

"No… no, that can't be it. He was so strong ," I said, not accepting it.

"Yeah… I know," Hidan said, looking like he was hating every minute of this. I didn't imagine he was particularly upset by the news on a personal level, but he certainly didn't like delivering it to me.

I felt like I was on a roller coaster, only moments ago I was delighted to be alive and kissing Hidan. Now I was trying to process that I'd never see Sasori again. I racked my brain for what my last words to him were and what his were to me, as if that were significant somehow.

I clenched my eyes shut, tears pouring, head shaking. Hidan's arms fell around me as he pulled me into a comforting embrace complete with gentle back rubs and soft shushing. I couldn't help but sob into it. It was all far too much.

"Where's Dei?" I managed to ask after some time.

"Should be in his room. He got a bit fucked up too," Hidan said.

"What?! Is he okay?" I asked, pitching forward.

"Hey hey hey, relax, baby girl," Hidan said, his hands pushing me back onto the bed by my shoulders. "He's fine. He's just stuck in bed for a little, just like you."

"Will you take me to see him?" I asked, wiping at my face and trying to calm down.

"Maybe tomorrow. You just woke up, sweetheart. You're fucking killing me here," he said, and I gave him an apologetic look but that didn't stop me from wanting to see Deidara still.

"Please, Hidan. He must be a wreck. I need to see him, it's been so long," I petitioned.

"He's honestly not bad, Izumi. He's a little quiet, but it's actually kind of nice," Hidan said with a shrug.

"Hidan…" I scolded. "Please… I need you to just take me to him. Just for the teensiest eensiest little bit?" Big tears bubbled out from the corners of my eyes as I pleaded, grabbing and squeezing Hidan's hands.

With a hardset frown, he looked down at me and I could already tell he wouldn't be able to say 'no' to me.

He growled and gave me a begrudging, "Fine, but Kakuzu is gonna fucking kill me for this," before undoing my IV properly and scooping me up. I was lowkey impressed at his proficiency with the IV, it seemed like he could have done it with his eyes closed, and I made the connection that he helped out with a lot of my treatment.

There was no answer when Hidan knocked on Deidara's door.

"Welp, guess he's not fucking home," Hidan said, quick to turn on his heel.

"Dei? Are you in there?" I called out as loud as I could, my voice still a little shot.

"Izumi?" He called back from inside, his voice spiking about five octaves higher than usual.

I gave Hidan an 'I-told-you-so' look and he rolled his eyes, pushing the door open with his foot.

Deidara was on the bed. I smiled at him through my residual tears as Hidan ferried me through the doorway.

His face lit up and he choked on his words. "God, you're a sight for sore eyes," Deidara said with a tired grin.

He was laying in bed, propped up to be mostly sitting at an incline against his many pillows. His arms looked terrible . Like they'd been pieced together in some sort of frankensteinian experiment.

"Oh Dei, what happened?!" I asked, my hands flying to cover my gaping mouth as I eyed his discolored and recently sewn on limbs.

"Heh… it's a long story. You got time?" he asked.

Notes:

SO... couple of things...

I AM SORRY ABOUT SAS. This storyline follows canon events so far but will be divergent down the road.

But ya girl is AWAKE at least? Does that count for anything? She can't exactly jump up and do anything exciting so here you go. That's the chapter lol.

Ngl tho, I love exploring Kakuzu slowly learning how to deal with the fact that he has emotions, he is my favorite irritable awkward lad :3

I hope all of you lovely readers have a great day 3 Thanks so much for all your comments and support darlings

Chapter 42: A New Normal

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I smiled and looked from Deidara to Hidan. "Can you leave me in here for a little?" I asked.

Hidan looked around with an impatient roll of his eyes. "Leave you where ? Dude doesn't have any fucking seating."

"Hey. It's a damn 'bed room' and I have a bed in this room . It's not a fucking 'chair room', dude," Deidara retorted to Hidan who made a stupid face back at him.

"Oh, that's okay…" I said. "Um, Dei, do you mind if I… would it be weird to be on your bed... with you?" I asked, nice and awkward.

Ah, some things never change.

"I just… I can't really stand for long," I explained meekly.

"Oh come the fuck on," Hidan muttered, though I heard him crytal clear.

Deidara smirked at Hidan's reaction. "I could probably deal with that, yeah," he said.

"Please, Hidan?" I asked, sniffling. Hidan looked pissed that he couldn't quite bring himself to deny me any request.

"Fine," he spat, shoving Deidara over roughly and setting me on the bed next to him.

Hidan angrily stuffed a couple pillows in between us before leaning down, tucking a finger under my chin to give me a kiss. While it wasn't particularly domineering, there was no question that him kissing me two feet from Deidara's face was a territorial thing.

He pulled away. "But I better not be setting myself up to get cucked," he followed up. I didn't even know what that meant but I assured him he was not.

"I'll be back to get you, sweetheart. Deidara here is too weak right now to carry you anywhere." Hidan made sure to point that out.

Deidara scowled and managed to raise his arm enough to flip him off. Hidan looked overly pleased, clearly enjoying the power dynamic. That seemed to satisfy him enough. He left, shutting the door behind him.

Hm. Shockingly more helpful than expected.

I rolled onto my side to face Deidara and he lolled his head to look over at me.

"So you're alive, huh?" he asked, smiling.

I laughed with a shrug. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So… you and Hidan, huh?" he followed up with a raised brow.

I flushed. "Yeah… I-I guess so."

Apparently I'd lost my vocabulary in a coma.

He sighed. "Can't say I didn't see that coming…" he said, disappointed, but also matter-of-factly.

"You seem less surprised than me."

"Well that's because you're as thick as a brick."

I feigned a disapproving look which drew a small smile out of him.

I wasn't this close to him very often and I found myself being pulled into those bright blue irises of his. It was also rare that he didn't wear his scope and this was one of those times that I got to admire his entire set of eyes.

Yes, all two of them.

Whatever. They were both very nice.

I imagined him having additional eyes in the same way he had extra mouths. Then I wondered where those eyes could be since they clearly weren't visible. I promptly stopped thinking about it after a few disturbing mental images.

Mm, probably got that brown eye.

Stop.

I had to reel my mind in to remind myself why I had wanted to see him in the first place.

My face soured before I could even say anything as Sasori came to the forefront of my stupid walnut brain.

"Whoa, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I was just joking around, Iz," Deidara started pouring out an apology for calling me 'thick', as if I hadn't been told that a thousand times already.

I started shaking my head and he shut up. "You freaking… goose. It's Sasori ," I said, choking a bit on his name.

"Oh… yeah… that ." Deidara went kind of blank at the mention.

"I'm.. I'm so sorry, Dei," I said, my face immediately wet. I still couldn't get over it myself.

"Yeah, it's… it's okay. It's whatever," he said, maintaining an unusually cold demeanor for him. He was staring at the ceiling.

"Dei…" I said, not even able to resist pulling his face to look at me. It didn't take much, it was a gentle pull.

His clenched jaw told me he was mad but his eyes belied it. It broke my heart to see them so pained with no outlet for release. How long had he been holding onto this?

I needed to make sure he knew it was okay to be upset.

"Dei," I said again, "he was your partner… and your friend. And for a long time, too. You guys did everything together... it's alright to mourn him. You know that, right?"

"He was an idiot," Deidara said coldly. "Letting himself get killed by some kid and an old fucking hag."

His voice was harsh, almost shaking, mouth set in a hard line. His fists clenching and unclenching didn't slip by me. Maybe with all this he wanted to exude anger, but when I looked at him, it was just sadness and pain.

It was just heartbreak. Mine did too.

I nodded, letting him vent. "Maybe… maybe he was an idiot… but it's okay to be sad for an idiot. I'm an idiot, Dei. Would you have been sad if I died?"

He made a face at me. "Of course," he said, his voice breaking a bit. "Of course I would have… I fucking was . We were all worried fucking sick, Iz."

"Wait… what?" I asked, cocking my head.

He suddenly looked guilty, like he said something he shouldn't have. "Erhm, did no one tell you… that you died? I mean, you were gone for a few minutes, yeah? It was fucking rough. Everyone really freaked out. You should have heard Hidan."

I just, kind of, stared at him. It's a strange thing, to be told that you died, but I suppose I wasn't all that surprised. In fact, it actually made sense. Imagining Hidan looking on as it happened was horrible even in my head. He was such an emotional creature, whether or not he'd admit it.

"Hidan? Was that who made the hole in my wall?" I asked.

Deidara shook his head, "Nah, that was Kakuzu. He was pretty upset too. Everyone was. No one knew what the fuck they were doing. It was Kakuzu, Kisame and Sasori that brought you back."

It was all very shocking to me, to hear about it. I tried imagining the scene in my head and it was just too painful with how Deidara was describing it. Kakuzu was right, I really had been a pain...

"All three of them…?" I said, chewing my lip and thinking about the terrible ordeal I'd put them all through.

Deidara laughed a little, "yeah, can you imagine? It was pretty wild, looking back on it. None of them knew shit about medical ninjutsu a couple months ago, now Kakuzu and Kisame can't stop studying it together. Sasori might have too if he didn't… well, you know." He trailed off.

I felt such a gush of emotion for the dusty little redhead. He saved my life… saved my life and I'd never even be able to thank him. My eyes began to welt again at the thought.

"Hey, you okay?" Deidara asked with a tilt of his brow.

"Yeah, sorry," I said, shaking my head, "I'm just thinking about Sasori. I know I didn't know him like you did… but I'm so sick to my stomach thinking about how I didn't even say goodbye," I said, gradually breaking down.

"Aw hey, Izumi…" Deidara said quietly, hesitantly reaching over the pillow barrier and pulling me into him very gently. "I don't want to hurt you…" he murmured, clearly in reference to my fragile physical state. I did look rather untouchable with all the scars and bandages.

"You're sweet, I'm fine, Dei… well, I'm not really… but you know what I mean," I said through my tears into the pillow between me and his chest.

He held me there for a moment. "Yeah… I do…"

One moment became a few and what I'd been hoping for actually happened. I could feel him shaking ever so slightly as he held me against him. I tried to shift at one point but he flexed to keep me still.

He didn't want me to see him.

That was fine. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed, rubbing his back and combing down his bright blond hair that seemed mercilessly knotted. I would have to fix that later.

"It's okay, Dei…," I reassured, wishing I could do something more to help. But that seemed to be the limit of my capability.

All I could offer was permission to mourn and a shoulder to cry on.

It was more than he had before, anyway. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I didn't dare move before him. It felt like an eternity.

He eventually pulled back, sniffing and wiping at his eyes quickly, as if it weren't obvious what he'd just been doing. It hit me really hard that he was the same as me at that moment. Just a teenager dealing with death.

I let him have that and pretended not to notice.

"I'll miss him too, Dei," I said eventually to break the silence.

"He was such a little shit head," Deidara said, scoffing.

I laughed. "Yeah, did he tell you that he was the one controlling me onto Kakuzu's lap back in Jomae?"

He snorted a laugh himself. "Damn, that feels like forever ago now… I might have been in on it," he said with a little knowing smile and a rub of my shoulder.

"Nehh…?" that child-like voice came from the door which I now noticed was cracked open, an orange mask peeking through. "Even senpai is being nice to Izumi-chan… hmmm… hey, Deidara," he whispered harshly to the point where he could have just spoken regularly. "Deidara, does this mean Izumi is your… hehehehe… your girlfriend ?"

Deidara deadpanned as he looked past me at the figure in the doorway, muttering profanities under his breath before a quick apology to me.

"Tobi ! Get the fuck out!" Deidara bellowed, throwing the clock from his nightstand at the door with a wince. He probably shouldn't have been using his arm for such a thing but he apparently deemed it a necessity.

Tobi made a frightened squeak, slamming the door shut. The poor, innocent clock was the only casualty.

Deidara sighed heavier than I thought possible.

" That … is my new partner. Fuck my life, right?"

I could only imagine his frustration. That man seemed the exact opposite of Sasori, whom Deidara had been partnered with and adjusted to for years .

Sasori, while a little snarky sometimes, was relatively no nonsense. It seemed like this new partner was all of the nonsense. I sympathized with Deidara having to not only grieve the loss of Sasori, but also adjust to this very different and new type of partner at the same time.

I said, "Yeah… we met...kind of. I accidentally clotheslined him with a stone pillar, anyway."

Deidara sputtered before abruptly losing his beans.

"You did what now?!"

I giggled my way through the story, placing a heavy importance on just how dazed I was since I had quite literally just woken up. This innocent little tale seemed to put Deidara in a much better mood.

He cocked his head, looking at me like I was unbelievable. "God, Iz. When shit doesn't work out with you and the big moron, you know where to find me, alright?"

He was coming onto me. That much I knew. He was coming onto me as I laid next to him in his bed, with him looking at me like that . How the heck was I supposed to respond to that?

Luckily I didn't need to.

The door opened. Hidan's ears must have been ringing.

"So, you have enough time to tell her about how you managed to lose both your fucking arms?" Hidan asked casually as he strolled in.

Hah. Actually, no.

"Pft, at least I didn't lose my fucking head," Deidara snapped back with a smirk.

"Maybe next time, if we're lucky." Hidan grinned, shrugging.

They both seemed to be amused with each other and their flippant remarks about death. I didn't like the joke, it was too soon, and Sasori was too much in the forefront of my mind.

Hidan was scooping me up, leaving Deidara to readjust kind of pathetically on the bed if I was being honest. He couldn't put much weight on his arms, so to arrange the pillows beneath him… well, it was a struggle to even watch.

I felt bad, he didn't have a team of people inexplicably determined to care for him like I did. Sasori definitely would have, had he been here, but now he didn't even have that.

"Hidan…" I murmured, trying to discreetly eye Deidara, hinting that Hidan should help.

"What?" he asked, markedly confused. "You got something in your eye?"

"No." I deadpanned, cocking my head more vigorously in Deidara's direction.

"What's wrong with your fucking neck?" He asked, scrutinizing it for a defect.

God. How could this man be so unbelievably astute and in tune with my needs but never anyone else's? And people called me thick...

I would be forced to use my words.

"Hidan… would you please assist Deidara?" I asked pointedly, quietly. I didn't want to wound Deidara's ego by bringing too much attention to his pillow plight.

Hidan looked adorably and genuinely puzzled as he glanced from me to Deidara who was in the midst of his feathery battle, punching down one of the lumpier pillows with a wince.

"The fuck am I supposed to 'assist' him with? I'm not jerking the dude off if that's what you're asking."

Yes, Hidan. That's what I was asking.

"Oh my God… Hidan. Look at him," I urged, feeling like this was becoming more difficult than it should have been.

"Yeah, I know. His arms are fucked. Dude is probably pent up as hell but what the fuck am I supposed to do about it? Why the fuck do you think I put a pillow barrier between you guys?"

"You're.. You're…"

An unintelligible word that sounded vaguely like 'mmmhynnng" leaked out of me. I couldn't even think of a word that suited what he was.

"Would you just help him adjust his pillows, please? It's your fault they're all messed up anyway," I whispered harshly, completely exasperated.

"You fucking with me right now?" Hidan asked with a stony expression.

I didn't have to say anything, he could tell from my own expression, disapproving but also puppy dog-esque that this was, indeed, an actual request.

"For the fucking love of Jashin…" he muttered, shaking his head and plopping me to sit on the end of the bed.

"I thought you were leaving?" Deidara paused to ask, now also joining in on the puzzlement party.

"Yeah, me fucking too," Hidan grumbled, stomping around to the other side of the bed where Deidara was.

"Sit up. Lean forward," Hidan ordered bluntly, waiting there with his arms crossed.

"What the hell? You looking to stick your fingers up my ass or something?" Deidara balked, not able to fathom why Hidan would be telling him to do such a thing. God, these guys were always so crass with each other.

Hidan shot a quick glare in my direction and I bit back my amusement. This was turning out way better than I'd anticipated.

Hidan clicked his tongue. "Hm, wasn't on my mind, Dei. Sure as hell seems to be on yours though. You want one or two? I'm not thinking you could handle much more."

It did not slip past me that apparently Hidan had fallen into using 'Dei' as well. It wasn't really said sarcastically, despite his crude joke. Deidara didn't seem put off, probably accustomed to it. I wondered when that started happening.

Deidara started to argue back, always needing to prove himself capable, "I could handle plenty-!" before catching himself and realizing maybe it wasn't a battle he cared to win. He took to glaring at Hidan instead, stubborn and unmoving.

Hidan cracked a smile at his unwitting reaction, mentally checking off Deidara's goat as 'got'.

After a few moments of an apparent staring contest, Hidan caved and explained himself angrily. "I'm fucking… fixing your fucking pillows, you fuck. Now scooch your ass up."

Deidara was taken aback, glancing over at me to make sure he heard that correctly. I had an innocent little smile on, but I was apparently looking overly pleased because Deidara seemed to catch on quickly that this was per my request.

He was also smiling now, probably trying to figure out how he could milk this.

"Aw, that's so unusually nice of you, buddy," Deidara said, thick with enjoyment.

"Yeah, well. You know me," Hidan spat, grabbing at the pillows and fluffing them so aggressively that little feathers came bursting out in little puffs. "I'm a nice fucking guy."

Deidara had such a shit-eating grin on as he watched Hidan slamming the pillows into place.

"Oh, that one is my favorite, can you make sure it stays on top?" Deidara directed innocently.

Hidan breathed in deeply through his nose and I could see the vein that ran down his forehead was swelling.

"Sure. It'll stay on top. Buddy." He exuded this sort of forced calm. Kinda scary.

In an instant, Hidan shoved Deidara back by the shoulder and crushed the pillow into his face, holding it there to smother him forcefully.

"It's on top, just like you fucking asked. I hope it's as good for you as it is for me, buddy !" Hidan shouted, continuing to hold the pillow down. Deidara's body was either writhing in protest or shaking with laughter beneath, and I honestly couldn't tell which.

I supposed I shouldn't chance it.

"Hidan! Enough! Not everyone is immortal, you know!" I scolded. He glanced at me with a flash of amusement.

The look on his face reminded me of a dog that had gotten into something it shouldn't have. Excited, loving the thrill of knowing it was wrong but wanting to do it anyway. He was the kind of dog that was going to run off with it and make me chase him down and pry it out of his stupid, slobbery jaws.

I decided to head him off.

"Fine, I'm going back to my room, then," I said, pushing off the bed, my knees immediately folding beneath me.

I didn't hit the floor though, Hidan was suddenly before me looking stern, down on one knee, his arms out and locked in place against my shoulders to keep me up. I winced at the pressure he put over one of my wounds.

Deidara was vaguely laughing in the background, pulling the pillow off his face.

"That was fucking dirty," Hidan reprimanded.

"So are you," I said.

I really didn't mean it in a sexual way, but I could tell from the strangely prideful, yet devilish look that came over him... that's definitely how he took it.

I meant it more in the 'you just tried to smother someone who can't use their arms' kind of way. But he seemed happy about my intended insult so I let him have that.

Thunk.

A pillow hit the side of Hidan's head and plopped to the floor. Deidara was smiling like an idiot on the bed, pleased as punch with himself.

Hidan's neck slowly, mechanically shifted to look at him with an 'oh no you didn't' expression hardening his features.

Even I had to laugh. I knew I should have probably put the kibosh on it though, before Hidan got all worked up again. I took his face in my hands and planted a half-giggling kiss against his sternly taut lips and he immediately softened beneath it. He'd forgotten pillows even existed.

"That's enough, don't you think?" I suggested sweetly, ready to go back to my room before I got Hidan in trouble with Kakuzu.

"Mm, fine," Hidan agreed, stealing one more kiss before standing up and gathering me into his arms.

Deidara snorted at Hidan's sudden compliance. "Hey thanks, Izumi, you think he'll become this agreeable if I do that?" Deidara mused from the bed, now short one pillow.

"Hm, I think there's only one way to find out," I said curiously.

Hidan grinned, "Oh, please fucking try it. I cannot fucking wait for you to find out."

"You can't wait for me to kiss you? Damn dude, you probably shouldn't say shit like that right in front of Izumi, I have a feeling she's like... a lowkey jealous rager. Besides, you're really not my type," he said, mockingly apologetic.

"You're the one that wanted my fingers in your asshole. The ass wants what the ass wants, Dei," Hidan said, shrugging.

"That's not the saying!" I chimed in to scold Hidan's defilement of yet another common idiom. "It's the heart, not the ass."

"Well I can't fuck a heart, Izumi. That's disgusting…" he seemed to think about this for a moment. "Well…?" he said, like maybe it wasn't disgusting after all.

Now he was seriously considering the logistics of this and I was seriously reconsidering my taste in men. Both Hidan and Deidara got a kick out of whatever disgruntled face I was making.

"Alright, alright, your beans are probably fucking cold by now," Hidan said, turning to leave.

"Beans?"

"Yes, I prepared a very elaborate dinner of steamed fucking beans for you, now let's go. Oh, and one more thing…"

Hidan kicked the pillow that was on the ground up into the air and caught it so it landed on my stomach as I draped between his arms.

It was the famed 'Dei's favorite' pillow.

"This is fucking mine now," Hidan said pointedly, glaring at Deidara with an evil little smile.

I did enjoy that Hidan's definition of evil had softened to stealing someone's pillow though. I would allow it. It was better than smothering Dei to death.

"Hey! That's the best one though, yeah?!" Deidara shouted after us, suddenly regretting his decisions.

"You'll get it back when I'm done with it," Hidan called over his shoulder.

" Done with it ?! Ew, what the fuck does that even mean, dude?!"

Hidan just laughed maniacally and shut the door with his foot behind us.

When we got back to the room, Kakuzu was there. There and not happy.

He was furious with Hidan for taking me out of my room to see Deidara and forbid him from seeing me alone since he apparently couldn't be trusted. He'd created a very stringent recovery plan for me and Hidan pulling me out whenever I asked was apparently not part of it.

And I oop.

Kakuzu did allow Hidan to help me with dinner however, though I'm sure that had a lot more to do with him not wanting to do it himself. Especially considering how Hidan went about it. I was thankful Kakuzu left us alone because it was really quite embarrassing.

"Hidan, really, I can feed myself," I insisted. Hidan settled himself on the edge of the bed and was now sitting there with a single green bean held in his fingers, impatiently waiting for me to open my mouth.

"Just let me fucking do this, please? Knowing you, you'll eat too much at once and fucking choke to death or some shit," Hidan complained in a sort of cute, pleading way… if you ignored his jab at my general incompetency anyway.

I had never felt like more of an infant as he fed me by hand, piece by piece, bean by bean, but in spite of it being some serious next-level nanny stuff, Hidan didn't seem to think of it that way. I got the sense it was something that brought him some semblance of peace, control maybe? Not really in a bad way.

I imagined he felt very out of control while I was 'sleeping'. In fact, I know he did. I remembered snippets of things he'd said to me. It was like looking through a veil of fog to recall the details, but I would never forget the unhinged fervor, even desperation at times.

If eating beans like a freaking baby was going to somehow instill a sense of peace into this man, well gosh darn it, I would do it.

It was such an odd scene though, this absurdly muscled, over-the-top arrogant, shirtless man patiently pinching cut up vegetables as he waited for me to chew. He was so endearing in the strangest of ways.

In all honesty, I didn't mind the way his fingers felt against me as he pushed each piece into my mouth. My lips would come together to chew and it seemed like he purposely let his fingers linger there just to feel the pseudo kiss against them.

It felt like a weird little ritual. Neither of us said much, which was rare for both parties, but my voice was tired and becoming a bit froggish from overuse. Knowing Hidan, he probably noticed this and was just giving me a break.

That was fine though, I didn't mind just looking at him for a while. He was a little thinner, and a little more gaunt than before, but I would make sure to fix that soon.

One by one, the beans were eaten and the bowl emptied. He let out a contented sigh, looking down into the vacant bowl.

"That's my girl…" he murmured against my forehead before giving it a kiss. He really shouldn't have acted like eating a bowl of beans was such a milestone, but I melted at his words regardless.

He was stalling. He knew he was supposed to leave after.

I asked him not to go, only once though after I saw how difficult it was for him to deny me. I didn't want to make anything harder on him. Ordinarily he would not listen to Kakuzu's orders, but this had to do with my recovery, so it seemed like he was making an exception to his usual delinquent behaviours.

After a kiss or two hundred, he was able to bring himself to go so I could get some 'rest'. I didn't want to rest though. I'd been resting for 63 days. I was exhausted, don't get me wrong, but I still didn't want rest. Nor did I want to be alone.

There were too many things to think about when left to my own devices.

Hey, we haven't gotten the chance to mull over that fire and brimstone type nightmare. Who do you think that guy was?

Ugh. Not now.

I tried to distract myself with some light reading for a while… it worked well enough, for a bit anyway. But I got ancier as time went on.

I wanted someone to visit me. Anyone. Just to not be by myself.

I brushed my teeth and filled a glass of water, setting it on the nightstand beside me, next to the marionette. I paused, staring down at it for a while, my increasingly dour mood rolling off me like storm clouds gathering.

I found myself grabbing a picture from the corkboard.

Someone had scrawled "Izumi and crew" across the bottom, along with a date. It looked like Kisame's horrendous script.

I dragged my finger over Sasori, like petting him in a photo might bring me some nearness or closure. He wore the slightest little smile, even with Deidara hanging on him, his arm thrown around the petite red-head causing him to lean under his weight.

Crawling onto the bed, I situated myself under the blankets and became lost in staring at the little lion puppet with a frown, the picture still gripped between my fingers.

I stayed like that for a long time. I was supposed to be turning the lights out, but I couldn't seem to find it in me to move. I was too busy digesting the worst news I'd ever received, glancing between the photo and puppet.

With some effort, I was able to recall Sasori's last words to me the last time I was awake. I couldn't stop turning them over in my head.

"I will make it up to you, Izumi. I'll find you something to remember me by as well. Something nice."

It felt like his words were eating a hole straight through me. They were just too true. They were practically a freaking premonition and it went right over my head at the time. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling, letting the moisture leak from the corner of my eyes. He really did get me something nice.

I really did love it.

The door clicked open and Kakuzu came in with a hot cup of something.

I vaguely glanced at him before returning my gaze to the ceiling. I was somewhat frustrated with him for taking Hidan away from me, but mostly I was just in a strange, moody state.

"It's broth," he said, setting it next to the lion, who I'd decided to name "Red" like his mane… and like Sasori. Obviously.

"Thanks, Kakuzu…" I said quietly, staring blankly ahead.

He grunted in acknowledgement before pausing and looking down at me. He sighed deeply with familiar notes of annoyance.

"Do you need more pain meds? Are you hurt?" he asked like I forced his hand to ask me this somehow.

Well that's an understatement .

"...No. Not really," I said, soberly melancholic. I wasn't hurt in the way he meant it. I had some pretty bad body aches to be honest, but somehow they felt distracting from the real pain going on behind the curtain.

"Okay… then... why are you doing that?" he asked impatiently, shifting awkwardly.

"Doing what?"

"This," he said, poking the corner of my eye and swiping the wetness from my cheek assertively. "It's annoying."

"It's annoying? But I'm doing it so quietly. Also... what the heck, this coming from the guy that just poked me in the eye? We can talk about annoying," I said, wincing a bit.

"You shouldn't be doing it at all. You're alive. Isn't that what you wanted? I didn't make a mistake, did I?"

I finally looked over at the cranky old shinobi and gave him a half-hearted smile, still rubbing my eye. "No… no mistake."

"Then what the hell is this all about then?" he wiped the other side just as aggressively, growing increasingly frustrated. He managed not to poke that one at least.

"Kakuzu…" I said quietly.

"What?" he demanded.

"Sasori is dead …" I closed my eyes, my voice breaking and mouth turning sour at the vocal admission. I gripped the photo tighter, glancing down at it once more.

Kakuzu looked at me for a moment, eyes flickering to the picture in my hands and piecing everything together. "Yes. People do that sometimes," was all he had to say on the subject.

Such an ass.

I nodded, biting my lip. "I...I know…"

"Well if you know, then why are you so surprised?"

"I'm not surprised… I'm just… just sad, I think," I said curling onto my side and reaching out for Kakuzu's hand. I only managed to grab a couple of his fingers as he saw what I was doing and started to pull away at the last second.

That was fine, I couldn't effectively grip many more than that anyway, given the size discrepancy.

"Kakuzu?" I looked up at him tiredly, holding desperately to his two captured fingers which he graciously allowed to remain tightly locked in my grip.

"Hm?"

"Will you promise me something?"

"No."

"Don't you die on me, okay? Not you too," I said, ignoring his fervid decline, squeezing his fingers and a few more tears out of me.

He stared down, the irritated look replaced by something more confusing to place.

"I'm immortal," he said, waving away my concern.

"Sasori thought he was, too," I pointed out.

Kakuzu grimaced. Apparently he didn't like this.

Maybe he hadn't given it much thought... or maybe he had given it way too much. Perhaps it was too close to home. Sasori was smart, and, for all intents and purposes, immortal. Safe from natural death anyway. For a man of his intelligence and skill to be defeated, it may have spiked some anxiety in Kakuzu who was rather similar.

He huffed with frustration as he continued peering down at me. "Would it make you do this annoying shit?... If I did?" he gestured to the droplets from my face with his free hand.

I nodded. "Yeah…" I laughed weakly, "like, a lot."

He breathed in deeply. "What a waste. That's stupid."

"I'm stupid." I agreed with a shrug.

"Fine."

"Fine, like you promise?" I asked.

"Yes."

I smiled up at him weakly. "Okay… thank you, Kakuzu."

"Don't thank me and don't look at me like that. That was already my plan," he said dryly. "Now sit up and drink your broth, you idiot. You can die."

He pulled out of my grip and yanked me up from beneath my armpits into a sitting position, pushing the warm mug into my hands. I took it with a wistful smile and sipped.

"Do you need anything before I go?" he asked, shockingly. I decided to press my luck.

"Can I get a goodnight kiss?" I asked, looking up at him with big, sad eyes.

Kakuzu's face twisted at the audacity. "What the fuck, Izumi," he grumbled, stomping towards to door hastily.

Too much.

"Just right here?" I pleaded, calling after him and patting the top of my head, just above my bangs.

Kakuzu shook his head, grumbling something about an idiotic child as he left, slamming the door behind him.

Alone again.

I didn't like it. I used to be alone all the time with ease, but now that I'd spent so much time trapped in my head, it felt unbearable. I shouldn't have scared Kakuzu off like that, I might have been able to squeeze a few more minutes of begrudging company out of him otherwise.

I sighed, sipping down my broth. I should have asked for a book instead of comfort.

After a little while there was a soft rapping at the door. I pulled my head back and squinted at it suspiciously. It was getting kind of late and Kakuzu had told everyone I was off-limits...

"Come in?" I called out.

A shock of silver was the first thing I saw as Hidan peeked in, flashing me the comfort of that lopsided smile of his. I felt like it could cure wounds.

"Hey there sweetheart, heard you could use some shitty company," he said as he sauntered over to me with a somewhat worried look about him.

"Oh, you heard that, did you?" I asked.

"Yeah, I don't know what you did, baby, but I'm glad you did it. Old fucking meiser changed his mind, guess I'm not 'banned' anymore, not that that was honestly going to stop me. He was all fucking bent out of shape, told me to check on you," he said with a shrug before leaning down and planting a soft kiss into my hair. "He also mentioned you needed one of those… anything else I can help with since I'm here, baby girl?"

I smiled, closing my eyes. Kakuzu was getting so sloppy at this whole pretending not to care thing, sending Hidan in to administer damage control like that. He'd be furious to know Hidan gave him away in an instant.

Flipping the blanket back beside me, I patted the bed and gave Hidan a sheepish, expectant look. I did not have it in me to be coy about wanting him to lay next to smile that split across his face brought me back to a simpler time.

Some things never changed.

"You don't have to worry about me," Hidan said with a smirk as he clambered into bed beside me, his warmth wrapping me up almost immediately. "Kakuzu already gave me the talk ."

"The talk?" I questioned, rolling into his side and pressing myself flush against him to the point that I was practically on top of him.

Mm. Warm.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to 'behave myself' since you're still recovering or whatever."

"Behave yourself?"

"Goddamn, Izumi, I'm not supposed to fuck you." He laughed, pressing another kiss atop my head. "Still dense as ever, I see."

Still rude as ever, I see.

I produced some sort of flustered scoff at the brazen directive which pulled another smile from Hidan.

"Don't worry, that's the last damn thing on my mind right now. Well… maybe not the last . You know what I fucking mean. I just want to keep you here for a while, okay?" he asked, settling in, his arm falling around my back to hold me against him, his other hand rubbing my arm idly.

Hidan was the same as always, however... there was something about him now that struck me as different . Not vastly, just a little. Softer, like he'd been through something that so traumatic and grinding that it actually sanded down his edges.

I felt, for the first time in months, totally and completely safe . The noise that decompressed out of me was audible and it was not lost on him.

"I got you, baby girl," he said earnestly, as much a comfort to me as it was to him. He linked his huge fingers into mine, kissing my knuckles. "I've been waiting so fucking long to hold you like this…" he murmured, "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"Not even a little," I whispered, smiling and sinking into yet another kiss on my forehead. I tipped my head back and stretched up to make it my lips. He eagerly allowed this swap, pressing his to mine more sweetly and softly than I'd ever been kissed before.

I didn't even think it was possible coming from him.

It surprised me to find that his breath, like mine, was trembling as he pulled away for the briefest of moments to catch it. It felt disbelieving almost. It was going to take some getting used to for both of us, the fact that I was a real, functioning, cognisant human again.

It was only last night he had no idea when or if I would even wake up, and now only one night later we were in bed kissing the life out of, or maybe into, one another.

It must have been difficult for him to process.

He swallowed before pressing back into me, his fingers tightening and dimpling into my skin just ever so slightly. I could tell he was trying his hardest to be careful with me. Gentle was not his default state, and it seemed to take a considerable amount of effort.

I opened my eyes just for a moment, just to see what he looked like. As he shakily inhaled through his nose, his eyebrows came to knit tightly together. His feathery silver lashes clenched shut as he kissed me with unending affection.

The sight alone sent an aching hum to vibrate through me as I closed my eyes once more. I don't know how long we stayed attached like that. It was a while, that I was sure of. It felt like we were saving each other somehow.

"You should get some sleep, baby…" Hidan eventually whispered when we finally broke, though he punctuated it with a peppering of kisses across my eyelids.

"But that's all I did for so long," I whined.

"So you're not tired?" he asked.

"No I… I am . I just don't want to sleep ," I explained.

He quirked his head at me in questioning. "You're gonna have to talk me through that one, sweetheart."

"I don't know, I guess I'm kind of nervous about it… like… what if I don't wake up?" It felt stupid to even say but the fear was burgeoning in my skull like a roiling storm.

"Aw, baby, I'm gonna be right next to you all night," he said, rubbing my back. "I won't let anything fucking happen to you, okay? Let's turn out the lights and give it a shot, alright?" he asked, fingers reaching and resting on the lamp, looking at me for the go ahead.

I nodded, biting my lip with hesitance.

He'd become such a caretaker. It took some adjusting on my part, there was a certain guilt that came with it for me. Even before the sleep, he would talk about how he'd take care of me... but the reality of it tempered him so much more than I could have expected.

He flicked the lights off with a reach of his long arm. It was the first time since I'd woken up that I'd really experienced the dark . I wasn't expecting it to affect me so.

This horrible feeling of impending doom swelled and loomed up over me, like I was surrounded by it on all sides. My breath hitched, short and shallow like it was being sucked right out of my lungs by the flanking gloom.

I buried my face into Hidan's chest and grabbed at him just so I would feel like the darkness couldn't swallow me whole, not while I held onto him so tightly. I felt so pathetic and utterly broken at this new development my brain decided to surprise me with.

Suddenly the lights were back on and I realized Hidan was talking to me after he'd pushed me back and I unclenched my eyes. He was tilting my chin up to look at him and his lips were moving. There was such concern painting his features. As I started to come out of whatever mental cage I'd retreated to, his voice broke through.

"Sweetheart? Baby? Come on, talk to me. Say something. You're shaking like fucking crazy, baby, it's really starting to fucking scare me. Do I get Kakuzu? Are you hurt?"

He was rambling. Rifling off question after question. Smoothing my hair neurotically. Eyes flitting across my face. Brows tightened together.

"The lights," I said quietly, distantly, looking around confused. We were just right there in my room. Not some horrible, lightless hellscape.

"The lights?" he asked. "You want… to keep the lights on, sweetheart?" He was slightly nodding to assure me that would be just fine, his eyes sympathetic and honed on mine.

I struggled to catch my breath. "I-I'm so sorry… I don't know what's wrong with me," I said, shaking my head and swallowing. It seemed like my grasp on reality could come and go as freely as a stray Kakuzu.

Oh, how neat.

He pulled me against him protectively but there was nothing to really protect me from, no assault on me other than my own words.

"There's nothing wrong with you," he said quickly, confidently, repeating it again for effect. "Don't say shit like that. You've just been through a fucking lot, baby. It's okay. So you don't like the dark now? That's fine. Fuck it. Fuck it to hell. Fuck it straight into the abyss and don't even let it come, baby girl."

I smiled against him with a weak laugh. He was such a sicko, even when he was being sweet.

"Here, give me a second…" he said, rolling out of the bed, leaving me cold for a moment.

Hey. I resent that.

I wrapped the blankets around me as I watched him go over to the cork board.

"Alright baby, we got some primo fucking options for you. So as you can see, we've got lamp," he gestured to the nightstand like a gameshow host revealing prizes. "And over here we've got uh… little fucking... flower lights." He clicked them on and they illuminated the photoboard softly.

"Whoa ho ho, who's this fucking guy? Sexy as all hell… " he said, flicking at a picture of himself and eyeing it very closely, going so far as to mimic taking off his non-existent glasses with a long, drawn-out whistle.

I scoffed at him half-heartedly and he shot me a grin, pleased with drawing me further out of my panic.

He took it and ran with it, as Hidan tended to do.

"Fuck, sorry, I don't even know what I was saying before, this man is just very distracting... like holy shit , can you imagine what he must look like in person? What a fucking smokeshow ," he gawked, unabashedly tooting his own horn. The further he rattled on, the harder it became to stifle my own amusement.

"You think you're pretty funny, don't you?" I admonished with affection.

He ignored my question, asking one of his own. "You think he has a big dick? He looks like he has a big dick," he asked far too thoughtfully.

"Oh my God , Hidan," I hissed, covering my face. I had no idea why I was the embarrassed one. supposed one of us ought to have some shame, maybe.

"Sooo... that a yes?" he asked, brow raised.

"No!" I shouted into my palms.

"Hm, never pegged you for a liar, Izumi," he said, his playful smirk belying his tutting tone.

"Hidan…" I said, not even sure what to say after that. Sometimes with him, that's all there was to be said.

"Yes, dear?" he asked, feigning genuine intrigue.

"How on earth do you go from lamps to that ?" I asked, truly astonished.

"Oh shit, that's what I was talking about! Thanks, sweetheart," he said, somehow looking innocent. It should have been illegal.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so we also have a bunch of fucking lamps around the base. Everyone has at least one in their room, then you've got all the living spaces and storage," he rambled on about lighting options and I just watched him, increasingly amazed at his ability to be the most absurd person I'd ever met.

Best of all, he wasn't even done . He started making his way back over to me as he went on.

"I'll fucking bring them all in here. I'll sear your damn eyes out, baby. I'll make you think you were sleeping on the fucking sun. You want more lights, sweetheart? I'll go get every light in this goddamn place and stick them in here, you just say the word." He finally finished, cupping my face in his hands and looking down at me with an expression that led me to believe he really would.

I was tired, but not too tired to giggle at the manic Hidan trying to troubleshoot my messed up little noggin. I couldn't get over the man and his infinite charm. It really wasn't fair.

"How'd you get so good at me?" I asked very genuinely, shaking my head a little in disbelief.

He grinned, apparently glad I thought so. "It's actually kind of embarrassing," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh? Do tell." My interest was piqued.

"Alright, so I tried that whole reading thing you like so much. Picked up a book, 'Izumi for Dummies'."

I snorted. "Oh, is that so? I didn't realize they finally published that thing. Well, I have two questions then. How was it and would you mind letting the rest of the guys borrow it?"

He shrugged. "Eh, kinda dry, but... there were a few tidbits I guess. 'No' to the second question, by the way. I don't need any more fucking competition."

"Okay, well, first of all, you're rude as all beans," I scolded with pursed lips. He seemed to get a kick out of that. "Secondly... dry? That can't be right. It doesn't sound all that dry with a subject matter so mysterious and intriguing ." I said, flicking the hair off my shoulder with as much pretentiousness as I could muster.

"Well, I can tell you the real thing is far from dry," he said slyly with a bite of his lip. It took me a second to realize the nature of the joke…

I choked on my spit when I got it.

His tongue peeked from between his teeth, plenty pleased with the reaction he managed to wrest from me. "Don't hurt yourself, baby. You're gonna make Kakuzu fucking ban me again."

"You're out of control," I laughed.

"Sweetheart, I haven't had control a single fucking day in my life," he tutted with a cocked eyebrow.

How dare you ever insinuate otherwise.

All I could do was shake my head. He was just too much, and it was definitely too late. I was becoming delirious with the giggles.

"When are you coming back to bed?" I said, calming down and patting the empty spot next to me with a pout.

"When you decide just how bad you want me to destroy your retinas, sweetheart. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being some romantic as fuck mood lighting, 10 being your eyes melting out of your skull… what are you feeling? I'm up for anything, baby."

"Just the flower lights are fine," I answered quickly, just wanting him by my side again.

"Just those little bitches? Nothing else?" he double checked, gesturing to the little illuminated sakura blossoms weaving haphazardly around the corkboard.

I nodded contently, shifting restlessly on the bed that felt far too empty by myself. "Come back to me?" I asked with a sweet little pleading edge, eyes all shiny and round.

With a loll of his head and a tilt of his brows, Hidan slapped his hand over his heart and pretended to stumble backwards, catching himself against the wall, as if my look alone shot straight through him.

"How could I say 'no' to that fucking face?" he complained endearingly, a soft smirk on his lips as righted himself and sauntered over to his side of the bed, sliding back in beside me.

His side, huh? You guys going steady or what?

He reached over me to click off the main lamp again and the room fell into a shadowy, but comfortable dimness, the little flowers blinking at us from the other wall. It was enough to stave away my exciting, new phobia.

"You know, you don't have to try so hard to get me in bed. I'm a simple man, sweetheart. A pair of tits is my only tax," he said matter-of-factly.

I scoffed. So much for the romantic mood.

"Would a kiss not entice you?" I pouted and tucked myself against him tightly, my hand instantly wrapping around his waist and my knee flopping onto his absurdly hard thigh.

"Mm, I'd be willing to find out," he mused in a low voice, bringing his lips to mine.

Once I started, I just couldn't stop kissing him. We couldn't stop kissing each other. I was exhausted and continuing to suffer from body aches but all that seemed to wash away with him. He was exceedingly sweet and mindful with me, his fingers combing through my hair delicately as he pleaded against my lips with his tongue.

I hummed lightly in my throat as he slipped between them and deepened the kiss with an aching, satisfied noise. We got lost in each other like that. Despite us having a long bout of kissing not too long ago, it felt so severely overdue and I could practically feel the relief radiating off Hidan with each twist of our tongues.

He said I'd been through a lot, but the same was true for him too. It became much more obvious during moments like that. He was just dripping with emotion, wrapping me up in it, and so much of it was this sense of respite he seemed to find in feeling me against him. It was palpable.

I wanted to give it to him, every ounce that I had.

I wanted to squeeze him and wring out every anxiety plaguing his mind. I had unknowingly caused him trauma over the last couple months and I'd be damned if I wasn't the one to soothe it.

"Sorry I'm so needy," I said sheepishly, breaking away breathlessly and idly planting a feathery kiss onto his pectoral, upon which I rested my head. My fingers grazed across his belly in a soothing sweep, back and forth.

I couldn't stop touching him, I couldn't hide how pleased I was to have him there next to me. I basked in the closeness of being able to run my hands over him and feel like I was grounded.

"I'll forgive you eventually," he murmured, a sleepy, snarky little smile on his face, eyes closed, fingers absently rubbing my shoulder.

I was still afraid to fall asleep, but he made it better. He seemed to make everything better.

Notes:

Hey guys, I know I said I would try to shorten these chapters but fuck me, I guess :3

There are just a lot of conversations and processing that needs to happen as Izumi and the gang adjust to her waking up, and you know, I tend to get carried away with dialogue and mundane scenes, so there you have it lmao

I hope it wasn't toooo much fluff but like... girl fuckin' died... shit puts things into perspective lol

Thank you for reading, as always 3

Chapter 43: Cooking Catastrophes

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Much to my delight, I did, indeed, wake up in the morning. Kakuzu was in there shuffling and banging things around with absolutely no regard for the two sleeping people in the room.

"What the fuck, dude. What time is it?" Hidan groaned, pulling a hand down his face.

"Hidan, when I told you to check on her, I didn't mean spend the fucking night," Kakuzu whizzed past answering Hidan's question in favor of scolding him. He was mad .

Someone didn't drink their coffee…

"Aw come on, I played by the rules and she was all worried and shit. You would have done the same fucking thing."

"No, I wouldn't have. We fucking know this because I didn't," he barked back.

Hidan scoffed. "That's fucking different. You only left because you knew you could pawn her off on me."

Hey.

I was only half awake but managed to scowl. He wasn't acting like it was such a chore last night.

He continued on. "If I left, it would have meant leaving her actually alone. It's fucking apples and carrots, dude."

Apples and oranges .

I resisted the urge to correct him.

Kakuzu glared at his partner with an intimidating intensity. "I figured I was doing you a favor since you wanted to see her so bad. She'd rather be with you than me anyway. It just made sense," he justified.

I finally woke up enough to interject, peeking up at Kakuzu from under Hidan's arm and the blankets.

"Aw, Kakuzu, you don't really think that, do you?" I asked with a twinge of sadness.

Hidan basically went berserk. " What ?! Are you seriously fucking denying that?! Are me and fucking Kakuzu on the same fucking rung to you?!"

"I'm not dignifying that with an answer. It shouldn't matter," I said with my nose in the air.

"Am I in the fucking twilight zone right now?!" Hidan balked incredulously.

Internally I was freaking out, bouncing up and down at finally getting his goat after all the times he got mine. It was bleating. It did not want to get gotten, but there it was in my grasp. Victory was sweet and smelled of freshly chewed grass.

I somehow managed to play it cool on the outside.

I shrugged. "I mean, he did save my life, Hidan."

Hidan went pale and speechless, muttering an "un-fucking-believable" beneath his breath.

I could hardly contain my laughter. I looked over to Kakuzu with a knowing smirk and gave him a wink. He seemed as entertained as he could possibly get, which really just meant he didn't look like he was going to pile drive anyone at the moment.

A marked improvement from 30 seconds prior.

"Hidan, get out of bed. Pain will be here soon," Kakuzu ordered.

"Why should I? Think I'm gonna make him jealous?"

"I can't imagine he has that kind of interest in Izumi," Kakuzu said blandly. He was organizing his notes, disheveled papers in hand tapping loudly against the desktop.

"Wasn't talking about Izumi." Hidan grinned, lacing his hands behind his head which set his biceps on display, perma-flexed. I was going to scold him but I lost my train of thought for… reasons.

Hidan did eventually and begrudgingly agree to get up and looked cute as ever in his briefs helping his partner catalogue the mess of books and scribblings all over the place. Pain was looking as severe as always when he finally arrived.

"Izumi," Pain greeted, cold and even.

"Hi," I said quietly.

"You're awake."

"You're perceptive."

Must you kic hornets nest?

He narrowed his eyes. I winced.

"Sorry, I was living without consequences inside my brain for two months so I'm still kinda adjusting to reality…" I apologized weakly.

"Those two months were your consequences, you foolish girl," he said, shaking his head.

"Hm, that's a good way to look at it," I agreed thoughtfully. It earned me a sigh.

"You're looking well," he said, scrutinizing me. I was certain that wasn't true, he was just being nice.

Wait just a second...

It dawned on me. Pain was never nice to me.

Quick! Say something nice back. Positive reinforcement.

Oh crap. Okay, okay, okay. I could do that.

"Th-thank you, you're looking…uhh," I stalled. Oh, beans. What did he look like?

Scary?

No. Well, yes, but don't say that.

Stern?

That wasn't a compliment

Hot as fuck?

Too far. And get out of my head, Hidan.

"Uhh…" I floundered. "You're looking… um ... orange? Your hair is orange."

WHAT.

Pain looked to Kakuzu, somehow deadpanning more than his default expression. Hidan was choking on a laugh.

"I thought you said she seemed cognitively unaffected," Pain questioned genuinely.

"I did," Kakuzu said, closing his eyes with a huff.

"Hm. I suppose I forgot her initial intellectual level… It has been a while. No matter."

I balked wordlessly and Hidan continued to lose his ever-loving beans. Kakuzu shot him a warning glare, he was about to get kicked the heck out if he didn't get it together.

"Just think of it like trying to talk to Tobi," Kakuzu muttered. Pain nodded in understanding.

I had my brief experiences with Tobi. I was offended.

Before I could develop the nerve to say anything, Kakuzu cut back in, talking to Pain.

"I'll show you what I was talking about." He approached me and I immediately fell into submission as his giant hand wrapped around the back of my head, pushing it down as he swiped the hair from the nape of my neck.

I let out a surprised, helpless noise and pointlessly pushed back against him out of instinct.

"Hey, what the fuck!" Hidan was instantly shouting, his chair screeching in protest as well as he shot to his feet.

"Relax," Kakuzu ordered both of us.

I grimaced, not appreciating being manhandled with no explanation. Straining my eyes to look over at Hidan, I could see he was angrily waiting to see what was going on. So he didn't know either…? He was tensely curious though.

I supposed I should also be curious.

Kakuzu and Pain discussed things that were way over my head, Pain taking time to examine the back of my neck as well.

"How very convenient," Pain ended up agreeing with Kakuzu's consensus. "It would seem that memory seal is entirely gone."

"Wait, what?" I squeaked, gaping. It had been such a long process slowly chipping away at it, how could it just be over? Not that I was complaining ...

"That seal of yours didn't carry through death. When you were revived, it didn't come back with you," Pain explained.

Heck yeah, silver linings. Should have just died a long time ago.

"Cool, cool, cool," I said, nodding. "Sooo… what does that ultimately mean again?" I asked with a wince.

He sighed. "At this point your memories are yours, meaning you technically have access to them… but it's like anyone trying to recall something from when they were five… very unlikely without assistance, especially if it's repressed."

I nodded in understanding. It kind of made sense when I really thought about it. Many of my dreams were foggy from 'the big sleep', blending together and such, but there were a few that stood out vividly. The nightmare, the one where I got to actually see the man in the flames, that was one of them.

I'd never been able to see his face before because of the seal.

Pain went on to explain that, based on my previous memory triggers, they would be sending me to different locations in an attempt to force memory recalls in addition to some visual therapy with Itachi when he was able.

The first stop was some shrine. I'd be sent with Hidan and Kakuzu who were going to meet an informant in a place called Inaho Village, and the shrine was only a few hours south of it. Pain thought perhaps it might jog something since in some texts, he had read there was a shrine for the Ten'yo spring as well.

I nearly crapped my pants when he said we would leave in only a few days.

Great. Not like you're a weak sack of beans right now or anything.

Not that Hidan or Kakuzu wouldn't carry me.

Shockingly though, they were not as on board with me tagging along as I expected. It gave me more than enough cause to worry.

When Hidan first saw me awake, I felt like he'd probably never let me out of his sight again. Now, upon hearing the news that they'd be bringing me with them to Inaho, he seemed strangely uncomfortable with it.

"Uh, yeah, I'm not too fucking sure she should be coming with us there ," Hidan said, pushing back against Pain's plan.

Pain gave him an impatient look and explained further. "It is necessary. We need to push forward with our plans. You will stop at The Todoroki Shrine and see if it triggers any memory events. With Orochimaru no longer having a way to track her location, she will be much easier to maintain. You can just leave her in the room and take care of the business you need to there. It should not be a problem. She should not be a problem."

I hated when they'd talk about me like I wasn't there more than ever. My overwhelmingly frustrating experience in a coma of being able to hear without being heard was still quite an open wound.

"This is a bad idea," Kakuzu agreed.

Et tu, Kakuzu?

Wow. No one wanted me near them I guess.

Welcome back, Izumi… woohoo...

Pain wasn't taking no for an answer though. In a few days, we would head out.

I sincerely hoped Kisame and Itachi would arrive back before then. I really did miss them... so much. Over the course of the next couple days I asked constantly if they'd make it back in time, but no one seemed to be able to tell me.

Kakuzu kept me on a rigid physical therapy schedule and would make me do all sorts of exercises to 'get my strength back', which I thought was a cute way to phrase it as it implied I had any to begin with.

Unsurprisingly, Hidan was more than happy to help. He'd take me out to the training grounds with him and show off while I attempted typically one of two things, walking and walking faster .

Tobi at least made things interesting . I was pleased we finally got to meet in an official capacity. It was evening and I had finished packing for the journey with my favorite immortals. We were heading out in the morning.

Dei was progressing a lot faster than me in his recovery and had offered to come over and paint my nails. I happily took him up on that offer.

"Don't look now, but I think your partner misses you," I whispered to Deidara upon noticing the peeking mask through the cracked door of my room as he finished dragging a sheen of black across my pinky nail.

"Aw shit, sorry Iz… he follows me around like a goddamn puppy, yeah?" he whined.

"Oh, that's okay, not like we're doing anything important," I said, blowing on my nails. Deidara was capping the bottle of black polish.

"You can come in, you know." I smiled, waving Tobi in.

"...Who, Tobi?!" Tobi seemed startled that I'd acknowledged him directly.

I laughed and said dryly, "No, the guy behind you."

"Whaaa-?!" He whirled around dramatically, looking in every direction, including the ceiling and very low to the floor. I really wasn't sure what he was expecting to find there. All I could do was laugh at the poor creature.

"Wow, Dei," I muttered.

"I know… he's even more oblivious than you ."

"Okay. Shots fired." I pursed my lips at him and he grinned.

"Tobi... just get in here," Deidara ordered.

Tobi squealed with excitement and came floundering in. Deidara breathed in deeply like he might get some patience out of it.

"Tobi… this is Izumi. Yes, the Izumi," he said before leaning into me, hand over mouth to whisper, "you're kind of a big deal around here. He's been asking about you non-stop ."

"Oh, yes! Tobi already met Izumi-chan!" Tobi said so energetically that you would have believed our original meeting to be a positive experience for him, and not one that left him as a bloodied, lump on the floor.

I let out a cringing, apologetic laugh. "I don't think committing a violent act against you qualifies as 'meeting', Tobi. I've been meaning to apologize for that, by the way. I'm sorry, I wasn't quite feeling myself at that moment. Also, just Izumi is fine!"

"Oh, no problem Izumi-chan! No problem at all!" He waved it off with an audible grin.

I deadpanned. He looked like he understood. He said he understood. But clearly…

I sighed.

Deidara was certainly in for a bumpy ride.

"You must be sooo powerful to wake up and just be able to do that! So cool ! I can't believe they replaced Sasori with Tobi instead of you!"

I winced inwardly at the mention of Sasori but pushed past it, cackling, which was easy enough to do given the absurdity of that statement. Deidara was going pretty good too.

"Hm, maybe it's not too late. I wouldn't mind Izumi as my partner, sure as shit beats your hyperactive ass, yeah?"

"Noooo! Senpai! Please don't kick Tobi out! Tobi will be a good boy!" The man wailed overdramatically, clawing at his mask like he was in the worst anguish over the thought alone.

"Dei," I discouraged his empty threat, although I was just slightly amused.

"Fine, fine. You can stay, Tobi. But keep it in mind, if you get too annoying… Izumi is in. You're out," Deidara warned.

The idea of me in the Akatsuki was genuinely one of the most hilarious things I could imagine.

"Oh yayyy! Oh, Senpai is so gracious to Tobi!" The infantile man praised, throwing his arms around Deidara who just deadpanned and gave me a look from within his grasp. I was biting my lip trying to hold it together.

The poor dear.

"Oh! Oh oh oh! Izumi-chan!" Tobi was already moving onto the next thing.

"Just Izumi," I corrected.

"Right! So, Izumi-chan, when does Tobi get to try some of your cooking?! I heard it's sooo amazing!" he asked, gesturing wildly.

Deidara had been begging for this as well, but Kakuzu shut him down. Apparently I wasn't permitted to be around sharp objects while I was still building back my coordination. Basically, I was allowed to make cereal.

I hummed. "Well, I can't be up and about much, or touch anything sharp, but I suppose…"

"Yeah?" Tobi asked quickly, his hands clapped together like praying.

"Maybe if you guys helped…"

"Yeah?!"

"Like, if I just told you guys what to do…"

"Yeahhh?!"

"Maybe that could work." I finished hesitantly, almost scared he was going to explode at that point.

And he basically did.

Before I knew it I'd been thrown over his shoulder and was being ferried quickly down the hall, bouncing roughly up and down. Deidara was right behind us, scowling and yelling at Tobi to be more careful with me. I was just focused on trying to keep my nails from getting smudged.

I honestly didn't mind though. I, once again, didn't know my way around, so to just be brought to the kitchen and plopped onto a bar stool was kind of a delight.

The sight of the kitchen gave me pause. I blinked, utterly speechless . It was much larger than the previous kitchen, like… by a long shot. It had two ovens. Stainless steel everything. More than ample counter space. It was a freaking dream kitchen.

Deidara noticed my gawking and smirked.

"Guess someone made sure you got a better setup this time, yeah? We should probably put it to good use," he said.

"Y...yeah," I agreed quietly, absorbing my surroundings and stretching my legs to get down off the stool.

Dei noticed this and helped me with an arm under mine until he was sure I wouldn't topple over. We exchanged small smiles, mine kind of pathetic and thankful, and his said it was alright.

There had always been something between us from the beginning, a little seedling of something anyway, but it had grown into something very different than anticipated, or maybe even hoped for, and that brief flicker of a moment felt like a recognition of that.

It was okay for us to just be close like we were and nothing more. It was sweet and simple.

I opened the fridge. I stared. A long time went by as I continued just looking before my neck creaked in Deidara's direction.

"What on earth am I supposed to do with this?! " I hissed, probably angrier than I'd ever sounded before, gesturing wildly at the nearly empty fridge.

Deidara looked a little frightened, Tobi, taking his cue, began to cower behind him. Now this was an interesting dynamic and I didn't entirely hate it…

The power… it floweth through you.

What the heck? No. Well… maybe a little.

Deidara was scratching the back of his neck looking guilty. "I'm sorry, Iz. No one was any good at doing anything with the food after it got put it there… so we just kinda… stopped putting it in there, yeah?" he said with a cringe.

I shook my head as I glanced over the pathetic contents. "A bunch of sauces… who knows if they're expired… Some pork, also probably expired…"

Deidara piped up, "No! No, that pork is good!"

He sounded a little too proud of himself for knowing one thing in there that wasn't rotting. I took it in stride, continuing my scan.

"Eggs… still good," I noted, checking the date written on the container.

I had seen enough. I snapped upright as best I could and the two men seemed to firm up a bit under my gaze.

Hm, I could get used to this.

"So we've got pork… and eggs… I'm willing to bet we have oil, flour, panko and seasoning in the pantry, or at least you better hope we do," I said rigidly.

They stared back at me wide-eyed like they sure as heck hoped as well, for their sakes. Well, I assumed anyway… Dei only had the one eye visible and Tobi had a mask with a shadowy hole. Maybe I was giving myself too much credit.

No. You have scars now. People are intimidated.

That was… not true. I had never been and never would be intimidating. But the reminder of my rugged appearance was unappreciated, nonetheless.

"Alright," I clapped my hands, "we're making Tonkatsu."

Tobi squealed, "Oh boyyyy ! Oh, Tobi loves Tonkatsu!"

After dealing with the rest of the Akatsuki, half of whom you may have thought were mute on a good day if you joined them for breakfast... Tobi's energy was just quite the adjustment.

"That's... great!? So... go ahead and get out all the ingredients," I directed, listing them out slowly so there wouldn't be any confusion.

The two men stood side by side next to a small array of items on the stone counter and I scrutinized them, verifying nothing was missing... I nodded, impressed, everything was there… so far so good.

"Alright, Dei, you can open the meat and get it cleaned up and pounded thin , but before you do that, please come here," I directed from my perch.

He gave me a funny, amused look as he approached. "Yes, sensei?" he asked with a charming little grin. I gestured for him to come even closer and reached my arms around his head.

"Your hair is beautiful, Dei, but I don't want to eat it," I explained as I pulled his hair tie out and began raking my fingers across his scalp to gather the bulk of it.

He looked cranky for a second, like he was going to put up a fuss, but that quickly fizzled out with a droop of his eyelids and I did my best to ignore the satisfied hum purring out of him.

I managed to wrangle down the entirety of it into an artfully messy bun, and I would be lying if I said it wasn't working for him. "There!" I said, patting his shoulders, "Now get to work!"

"Are you sure you don't need to put my hair up again? I think you might have missed a piece," he said slyly.

I raised a brow and pushed him toward the counter, "go pound that pork before I pound you ."

Now he was the one raising a brow. I analyzed what I'd said.

Hm, yes. Very sexual, very sexual indeed.

"Dei! Not like that!... Now please go hit the pork with a mallet!" I said, careful to be overly specific.

"Can't blame a man for dreaming, yeah?" he said wistfully, laughing his way over to the pork just waiting to be pounded.

So much for purely platonic.

I snorted and shook my head like I disapproved… but I didn't. Not really. He was sweet and cute and Dei. I took a deep breath before setting my attention on Tobi. Oh boy.

"Alright. Tobi, we're just going to make a simple egg wash for the pork, so all you need to do is put two eggs in a bowl and beat them," I said.

"Oh, sure! That's eeeeasy !" Tobi grabbed a bowl, definitely not the right one, way too big. He promptly set two eggs in it.

I stared at him. Deidara stared at him. We shared a brief look with each other.

Tobi looked far too proud and eager to move onto the next step after having just set two whole eggs in an over-sized bowl. He yanked his fist back and I realized with horror that he was winding up to quite literally beat the eggs.

"No no no no!" I rushed to stop him, stumbling off the stool and nearly wiping out in the process.

"Huh?" The guy was utterly oblivious to his mistake. I held onto him by the elbow until I was sure he wouldn't engage in battle against the eggs.

"Tobi… I… you just need to crack them, dear," I said, mentally noting I would have to be much more specific moving forward. I didn't bother mentioning the unnecessarily large bowl.

One thing at a time.

Was I beginning to regret this decision already? Yes. Yes, I was.

"Ohhhh! No problem! Tobi thought something didn't seem right!" he giggled.

I just sighed. It was hard to be too frustrated with him, he was like a puppy. A giant man-puppy. He grabbed the eggs back out and held them up. I gave him an encouraging nod.

"Okay! How's this?" he asked as he suddenly reeled back and whipped them into the bowl like he aimed to destroy the freaking thing. They made quite the clatter as they smashed against the bottom of it, causing the bowl to raucously spin around off-kilter for a moment.

I stared at him. Deidara stared at him. Déjà vu.

Deidara suddenly went from deadpan to deadpissed . "What the hell, Tobi! You like your pork extra fucking crunchy or something? You know all of us have to fucking eat this, right?!" Deidara scolded him much more harshly than I would have.

Time to step in, Mom.

"Okay, okay, you know what? That was my fault," I said calmly, putting my hands out and trying to diffuse the room. Tobi was looking so defeated and I couldn't help but feel kind of bad for the pup. "There were some assumptions made on my part that… looking back, well, it was a mistake. Moving on! Tobi, why don't you be a good boy and help me with the sauce instead?"

Tobi was instantly placated by this new task, ditching the thoroughly egged bowl and scrambling over to me, ready and eager to please.

"Oh, sure! You can count on Tobi! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Perfect. I know you are, Tobi," I said, pleasing him thoroughly as could be seen by his satisfied little wriggle. I clapped my hands, "Dei, please take care of the eggs properly . They simply need to be whisked in a bowl…"

"Got it, yeah!" Dei set off to clean out the previous mess.

"Tobi, please set me on the counter next to the fridge. It'll be easier if I'm by all the ingredients."

"Leave it to me, Izumi-chan!" Tobi chirped happily, grabbing me up quickly and settling me on the flat stone, my feet dangling.

I took to checking the expiration dates of each item as he handed them to me before I poured any of it into the small mixing bowl. A couple times he gave me something completely different from what I'd asked for... The third time it happened I cIosed my eyes, taking a second to gather myself before I politely told him how very wrong he was.

"Tobi… dear…." I said, mustering my kindest voice. "This is not… ketchup, Tobi."

"Tobi? I don't think you've ever called me something more insulting, kiddo."

That wasn't Tobi's voice.

That was…

My eyes couldn't seem to move as fast as I wanted them to. They traipsed up the tall, bulky form beside me until they reached the familiar blue face grinning down at me. Tobi had been shoved aside in my distraction and Kisame had taken his place, hulking over me with that pointy smile of his.

I no longer cared about whatever freaking sauce was in my hand. It was on the ground now.

"Kisame!" I shrieked, launching myself into him. Oh, I could barely reach my arms around the behemoth of a man.

He chuckled and pretended to cough a little from the force. "Shit, kid, you been working out?" he said, pulling me off the counter and lifting me into a hug. I used every limp noodle muscle I had to squeeze around his shoulders and wrap my legs around him as he heaved me up.

"Kisame…" I murmured again, still processing he was there when I thought for sure I'd ending up missing them.

I didn't know what else to say. There was nothing else. Kisame was there and he was hoisting me up like I was a five pound sack of flour. I, being the person I was, immediately started crying and clung to him like I hadn't seen him in months.

Oh wait…

"Hell yeah, Izumi's crying? Just like old times," he said approvingly. The jerk.

I scoffed into him but couldn't wipe the smile from my face. "That's not fair, I'm just really happy to see y-"

I didn't finish my sentence. I didn't say anything more. Every word that ever existed in my brain went poof . I had opened my eyes, now staring at the figure standing frozen in the entryway.

Kisame chuckled lowly. "Itachi's behind us, isn't he?"

I slowly nodded. Itachi was also wordless, staring back.

His face ran pale, especially in stark comparison to the shiny curtains of delicate, black hair framing it. His unmoving expression was markedly cautious, almost skeptical. Almost afraid ?

I think my heart just flat out stopped. That was it, I died again.

Okay bye, it's been real.

"Itachi," I breathed out with a hesitant smile, peering at him with big eyes from over Kisame's shoulder. Seeing Kisame had already opened the floodgates so there wasn't a shot of me not blubbering like an idiot. In my defense though, I did try to keep it to a minimum.

No sobbing, just very wet.

Itachi let out a breath and returned a small, strained smile. "Izumi… you're..."

"Izumi- chaaaaan !" Tobi suddenly leapt into my line of sight, shoving the bowl of unmixed sauce in my face. "How can Tobi be a good boy if you don't finish telling him what to doooo?!"

I'm sorry, does he not see this is a moment here?

I stuttered something out, something pinched and unintelligible. Trying to respond appropriately and bring myself back into reality, but it was proving to be problematic as I had been in the middle of short-circuiting as it were.

Cue Kisame.

"I got it, Iz. Picked up a few tricks while you were being a lazy little asshole. Take a beat, test out the new couch, I'll manage these guys."

Tobi protested loudly in the background and Deidara had a freshly sharpened butcher's knife in hand as he tried to angrily reign him in. I was a touch worried.

They're probably fine… probably.

I tried my best to ignore the potential murder about to happen, looking pointedly at Kisame.

" You're going to direct them? You don't even know what they're making."

"Right, and now neither do you. It'll be fun ," he said, skirting around a wailing, disappointed Tobi flailing about the kitchen. "Yo Itachi, think fast," Kisame said, dropping me into his arms.

Itachi's veneer of stoicism all but disappeared as he blinked rapidly and scrambled to catch me as gently as possible, scolding Kisame under his breath the whole time. The scroll that was in his hand clattered to the floor as he abandoned it.

Kisame could be heard chortling as he walked back into the kitchen, beginning to bark orders that made no sense for what they were supposed to be making.

Did… did he just tell them to boil the pork in milk?

But that was neither here nor there. I was in Itachi Uchiha's arms again. I wondered at which point that would ever stop happening. I somehow always wound up back there.

Kisame was such a plotting little scamp, he knew what he was doing.

"Long time no see," I breathed out, unable to hide my smile, looking to cut the tension. It wasn't even really on my end, it was just dripping off Itachi. Seriously though, he was sweating and he looked like he hadn't bothered breathing for over a minute.

He nodded. He swallowed.

"Too long," he eventually agreed quietly. You'd have thought I was an extra-terrestrial with the way he was staring at me, like he was trying to figure out if I was a trick of the mind or something supernatural.

Ba-dump

Oh lord.

Heavens, why did he still have to make me feel this way? I could hear my heartbeat drumming in my ears and I prayed he couldn't somehow detect it. He must have realized we were both just kinda staring at each other, our faces far too close to one another, and quickly snapped to walking us out to the living room.

"Izumi… you should sit and relax," he said, trying to find his cool. He usually kept it on him at all times, it was very rare for him to lose it. His eyes were darting in a way that made me think perhaps he was looking for it on the floor.

The new living space was nearly a replica of the old one, only with more seating. That made sense, I members of the Akatsuki were also getting along better than when I'd first met them… maybe that had something to do with it. The setup now consisted of not one, but two couches with a large coffee table between them.

Perfect for a game night.

Itachi gingerly set me down in the corner of the plush leather couch and then, much to my dismay, moved to sit on the other across from me. He sat stiffly on the edge, staring at me.

"You're awake," he said.

His eyes fell on me in such a way that I half wondered if he could see through my clothes, he was scrutinizing me intensely with a rush of red pulling across his irises, three little tomoes dancing in each one. It was like he was waiting for the glue holding me together to dry out and finally witness me peel apart.

I managed to stay whole.

"I-I am. It was three days ago that I woke up," I explained.

"Oh… I didn't know," he said, looking mildly perturbed. "I wish someone would have told me. I apologize I wasn't here… or didn't come sooner... Not that I assume you wanted me here anyway." If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was rambling. A flustered Itachi was an interesting one, indeed.

"That's okay, not your job," I said, dismissively. He didn't have to force himself to say nice things like that to me.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as he still just continued to stare at me blankly like he couldn't process me sitting upright and speaking to him. He was practically quinting at me, like he was trying to count my light freckles from a distance. Suddenly the notion struck me that he probably just wasn't used to seeing me the way I was now… you know...

Slightly disfigured?

"How are you feeling?" he asked. It was the natural next question. I supposed I should ask him about the weather after.

"Okay, I guess… I get tired easily, but I suppose that's better than what my alternative was," I said somewhat grimly, though not without a laugh, thinking about how I had apparently died real quick. Just for a hot second.

Itachi just stared. I felt so pressured under his gaze. Why was he looking at me like that?

"Is it my scars?" I blurted out, touching my fingers to my face and pushing down the revolt building in my esophagus. I couldn't help but ask.

" What ?" Itachi asked like the breath was punched out of his lungs.

"You're just staring at me like… like…" I couldn't put words to it. "It's nothing. You're just quiet, that's all. I know I'm kind of… difficult to look at now," I said, eyes downcast, cupping my elbows and shrinking into the corner cushion.

I didn't want to be this depressing girl, so I tried to smile. I'm not sure I did it right though. The torn sigh from Itachi told me I didn't. It came out of him followed by some muttering under his breath like he was scolding himself.

"Ah… no. I'm sorry, Izumi. No… It's not… I'm just… it's a relief to finally see you like this. It's taking a moment to sink in, is all."

I gulped down the painful lump in my throat and he furrowed his brows as he just continued looking on like his face was carved of stone. He seemed genuinely concerned for a moment and I could have lived off that look for a month. Those rare blips when it felt like he actually cared were so filling.

He shook his head when I had nothing to say. "Why would you think that? You're not... difficult to look at, Izumi."

"Okay..." was all I said, not believing that for a second but not feeling like debating it either.

"Izumi..." Itachi said my name so helplessly, like there was so much more he wanted to convey with it. Inject it with comfort, assurance, maybe even... affection? That was probably just in my head.

"It's fine, really, Itachi. I understand," I said with a smile. A more believable one.

"No, you don't…" he said, quietly frustrated as he seemed to be forming his thoughts. Apparently my smile wasn't believable enough still.

"Itachi, I know what I look like. Please, can we maybe just… drop it? I'm just happy to se-"

"You don't, you have no idea." He cut in, his words were short and sure.

I huffed and blinked at him. Since when was he this stubborn about these things? "I… I'm not going to fight about how gross I loo-"

" Izumi ," Itachi interrupted again, voice raised, "you're beautiful as always," he pushed out in a rush, his hands gripping his knees tightly as he sat at the very edge of the couch.

Ba-dump

My entire nervous system fried to a crisp.

He wasn't… he wasn't supposed to say things like that. A silence stretched between us as I went non-verbal. He hadn't said anything like that to me since that night. I think my jaw went completely slack, but honestly, since my neurons had stopped firing I really wasn't sure what my face was doing.

"Sorry…" Itachi muttered, "I just… I did not want you to think I was staring at you because of that."

"I-It's okay." I managed to pick my jaw off the floor.

Hah. Yeah, it is.

No, but it really wasn't. I didn't need Itachi confusing me like that, especially now that I had Hidan in some capacity. I wasn't sure what we were yet… we hadn't really talked about it, but even so… it felt serious, for me anyway.

I wanted to think the feeling was mutual, that Hidan was serious about me as well, but there was always that voice in the back of my head that questioned if I was just the flavor of the week with him. Just like I had been with Itachi.

Yes, I needed to not look into what Itachi said too much. He had a tendency to be exceedingly polite, it didn't change his feelings of lack thereof that he'd made clear to me before.

"Um, Itachi…?"

"Yes?" he answered quickly.

"I-I know this is against your rules…"

"Yes?" he answered even more quickly.

"Will you… please come over here… and just give me a hug?" I asked with big, uneasy eyes, my fingers creeping up over my mouth as soon as I asked, like they were barring any more ridiculous requests from sneaking out of it. I looked at him intently in waiting.

"Would that... would you feel better if I did?" he asked, still with those haunting eyes.

I nodded quickly.

He was practically already off the couch with how far off the edge he'd been sitting on it. He pushed off and approached wordlessly, sinking into the cushion beside me.

"I think I can probably pull some strings," he said with a slightly professional timbre. His eyes weren't on my face though, they were focused just a little lower, on my chest.

I wasn't wearing anything particularly revealing, just a Kakuzu dress which came up plenty high around my collar. I cocked my head, watching him.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

Itachi shook his head, his eyes snapping up to meet mine as if he'd just been caught doing something he should not have been.

"I… I'm sorry. This is an odd request…" Itachi began, already looking somewhat guilty about whatever he was about to ask me. It was me on the edge of my seat now. "But would you mind if I just… if I felt your heartbeat for a moment?"

Unexpected… but I'll allow it.

"I-I…" I stammered. Not in a million years would I have anticipated that question to come out of his mouth. My face was suddenly tingling with heat and I wondered how noticeable it was.

It's pretty bad.

He shook his head, wearing a bit of a flush himself. "My apologies… I shouldn't have asked." Itachi rescinded his request, shifting away from me a bit.

No. Absolutely not. I couldn't have that.

I grabbed his hand without thinking and clapped it over my chest, holding it there beneath mine. He blinked a few times, processing, but didn't pull away.

It should have been awkward, the two of us staring at each other like that with me holding his hand like a hostage over my rapidly beating heart. But it wasn't, not for me anyway. I enjoyed the brief time to admire him up close as he seemed to decompress the longer he felt my heart beat against him.

"Do you feel it?" I asked. "Kakuzu says it's strong."

He finally met my stare and nodded. "It's… fast."

Yeah. I'd been worried about that.

We didn't break for a long time, I could tell he was counting the beats in his head as he continued to hold my gaze. After a while, his eyes closed and his lips curved the slightest bit.

I thought maybe since he hadn't come to see me much during my coma, or least wasn't vocal during his visits, that I was truly inconsequential to him. But the face I was witnessing, the stress rolling off him as he breathed out deeply through his nose, it told me that couldn't possibly have been true.

Not if this was his reaction to the proof of life hammering against his palm. Not if he even asked me for such a strange thing to begin with.

"Thank you…" he said quietly, pulling his hand away before immediately closing the space between us.

Finally, that hug I'd asked for.

His limp hold around my small frame led me to believe he now thought of me as a cracked porcelain doll. I wrapped my arms around his back and clutched at his shirt.

"No, thank you…for everything you did for me. I know you saved me from that horrible pain," I whispered, recalling the seconds I did have to endure the curse before Itachi came to my rescue.

I felt him shaking his head, the tips of his fingers curling to grip me tighter. "I didn't save you. I wish I could have, Izumi… you've had to endure so much."

I could feel his lips moving against my hair as he spoke, hand holding the back of my head against his shoulder. I resisted the urge to nose into his neck. A hug with a friend you hadn't seen in over two months while in a coma seemed alright, but not that.

I felt a tingling prickle in my eyes and my fingers wrenched into his shirt even more, as if that would stop the shaking of my shoulders.

It did not.

Well, it wouldn't be a reunion if you didn't cry at least three times though, right?

"I'm sorry, I… I just missed you so much… I'm sorry," I said through my tears, embarrassed.

"It's... nothing to be sorry for, Izumi..." and then he breathed out like he'd been holding it for 66 days. It was long and shaky against me and the hard swallow that punctuated it was audible.

"You're really here? You're okay…?" he murmured.

"I am…" I assured, loosening my grip to rub his back, breathing him in. I felt like originally I was needing comfort, but I wasn't so sure roles hadn't switched somehow.

I didn't have time to think about the confusing logistics of it, given our complicated history, I just wanted for both of us to feel better on a human level.

"I missed you," I said again, "I know I'm not supposed to say that, but I really did. You barely came to see me. Not like some of the others... Why?"

I could practically hear his heart sink at the mention, calling him out like that. It took the form of whatever scraping, tired noise came out of his throat.

"I… wanted to, Izumi. I did . I just… you know me."

Did I? Did I know him? I certainly didn't think so, but I felt weirdly warm that he would say that to me. That he thought so.

He sighed. "I didn't have a lot to say. It was always you that shouldered the weight of our conversations, if you recall. I know it's been a while," he said apologetically, pausing for a moment. "Wait… does that mean… you could hear?"

"Oh shit, am I missing out on the hugs?" Kisame's boisterous voice cut through the room. Itachi took a moment to release me and I pulled back to look at the giant, blue, grinning man who had apparently deemed it safe enough to leave Deidara and Tobi to their devices.

"They're fiiiiine ," Kisame assured with a smile upon noticing my look of mild trepidation.

He swaggered over and I put my arms out, inviting him into them.

"I feel like I didn't get a real one," I said. Kisame did not hesitate to oblige, dropping down to his knees, arms swooping around me and pulling me in, his cloak seemingly devouring me whole.

Itachi had to remind him to go easy on me at one point, as it was obvious he didn't know his own strength.

"Heh, sorry kid, guess I'm just a bit tickled to see you," he said, loosening his hold a bit.

"Hm. Likewise. It's been a minute, huh?" I said, my cheek smushed against his broad chest.

Kisame was warm and his heartbeat was forcefully pounding against my ear. I thought about all the times I wanted to touch his arm and or have him hear me while I was trapped inside my head, and to finally have him there wrapped around me… there were no words.

I squeezed him tight.

"Mhm, pretty damn rude of you if you ask me," he answered with an audible grin. He pulled back and looked down at me all toothy and adorable with that dark blue flush of his.

"I promise I won't do it again," I said, crossing my heart.

He put his pinky out. "You better fucking swear on that, kiddo."

It was comical how his pinky dwarfed even my largest finger. We latched pinky's and I swore on it with a roll of my eyes.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you guys," I said, wiping my face and looking between Kisame and Itachi just kind of shaking my head in disbelief.

"Keh, you kidding me? We're not the ones that died. It's you that has no idea, you little bean turd," Kisame retorted.

Ohhh instead of 'bean curd', I get it. I get it and I love it.

I was so glad he had still taken to using bean-related insults. Itachi scoffed disapprovingly at his partner's lackadaisical recognition of the event though.

"Yeah, I heard about that…the whole dying thing... both of you were there?" I asked.

"Mhmm, we all were. It was a real shit show, if I'm being honest."

"What was it if you're being a liar?" I inquired curiously.

He shrugged, "Ehh, just okay."

"Sounds about right… Regardless, I am sorry about that," I winced with a small laugh.

"You're apologizing for dying?" Kisame raised a brow.

"From what I understand, it was very inconvenient. So yes, yes I am."

"Well good, you should be," he teased. "Talk about stressful. I thought Itachi here was going to off himself. At least him and Hidan had each other though."

Itachi glared at his partner with his face flashing unusually bright. Now that was an interesting sight. Kisame was unfettered as he continued.

"Yep, and Deidara went to go cry himself into next century I think. I was totally fine because I knew you'd be back, of course. It was a weird day…" he trailed off thoughtfully with a bit of a scowl as he recalled the events.

"I know we're half joking, but I really am sorry to have put you all through all of that… thank you for visiting me when you could, it really means a lot," I said, my little hands clapping over my heart.

Kisame gaped. "So you could hear us?!"

I laughed, "Mhm, sometimes. It was weird. I didn't fully understand what was going on but yeah, I would hear you guys talking to me and you'd just, like… poof into my dreams. It's a little fuzzy to remember details though."

Kisame wrenched his fist back in a victorious arm pump. "I fucking knew it. Didn't I know it, Itachi?"

"You did know it," Itachi agreed begrudgingly, seemingly unimpressed, or maybe just annoyed that he was impressed.

"Speaking of being able to hear you… you know what I know?" I asked, looking at Kisame pointedly.

"Hm, what's that?"

"You need to learn how to eat with your freaking mouth shut ," I said sternly, pursing my lips. With all the times I had to just lay there listening to his chewing and somehow try to place it… yeah, I needed to say something .

Itachi let out an abrupt, scoffing chuckle and Kisame cracked a grin.

"See? This is why we need you around. What would I do without knowing how to chew politely? They'd probably kick me out of the Akatsuki. I'd probably just shove food straight up my ass since that's where it ends up and what it's been tasting like anyway."

I sputtered at the visual.

Itachi favored a deadpan expression, shaking his head. "Filing that away under 'disturbing mental images from Kisame'…" Itachi muttered which left me giggling even more.

I wondered what else was in that mental cabinet. Probably a ton of good stuff with the amount of time they'd been partners.

Kisame smiled, pleased with Itachi's repulsion, and looked back to me. "So when are you cleared to start cooking? Gotta be honest, I didn't actually pick up any tips and I'm pretty scared about what's going to come out of that oven. Pretty sure Itachi's gonna have to kill it with fire."

I snorted. So typical.

"I'll see what I can do… hopefully soon. Kakuzu has been really strict with me though, I'm not allowed to wield a knife yet… not even to chop a carrot."

Kisame nodded, "True. Man went through hell to keep you here, I've never seen anything like it. That med stuff is actually pretty tough, kinda interesting though, been fucking with it a little."

"Oh really? Looking for a career change?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Maybe. Can't you see me in one of those sexy little nurse outfits?" he asked, raising a brow of his own rather deviously.

"And another..." Itachi mumbled, in reference to the Cursed Kisame Image File.

The Return of Femme Kisame… the sequel no one asked for.

"Good lord, Kisame… that visual is even worse than you having sex with a giant fish…" I complained.

"Uh, I'm sorry, come again?" He asked, pulling his head back, eyes blinking madly.

Apparently Itachi hadn't told him about the illusory fish he'd created for me in Kisame's likeness. It was decided that Kisame was indeed the father, and the mother was undoubtedly a giant fish. A very pretty one, of course.

I started cracking up at just the thought and looked at Itachi who seemed to be struggling to maintain his aloof veneer at the memory. That had been two months ago, it must have seemed so distant for him. It was simply hard to place for me.

" You are the one telling him! That was your creation!" I said, jabbing my finger into Itachi's chest and throwing my hands in the air to show I was tapping out.

Kisame slowly wrenched his head in his partner's direction and gave him a pointed, answer-demanding look.

Itachi angled his head at me with an exasperated expression like he couldn't believe what I'd just strapped him with.

"Did you miss me?" I asked, smiling sweetly with my tongue between my teeth.

He looked between Kisame and me and closed his eyes with a small smile, releasing something akin to a laugh through his nose.

"I'll tell you later." I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or Kisame.

"Are you two done bothering my patient?" Kakuzu's stern, flat-lining voice broke up our nonsense as he entered from the hallway.

I scowled. I was rather enjoying that nonsense.

I couldn't help but dissolve it into a smile though. His 'patient'. He was so cute taking his medical responsibilities all seriously.

"They weren't bothering me," I attested.

"Well, they're bothering me . You two, leave," he ordered. "I need to run some tests on her and then she's going to bed so I don't have to listen to her whine about being tired when we leave tomorrow morning."

"Leave?" Itachi questioned, clearly shocked I would be going anywhere so early in my recovery. His hand inadvertently shot out to clasp around the back of my neck as he stared at Kakuzu, like that would somehow keep me there or protect me.

"Yes, take it up with Pain. His choice," Kakuzu said bluntly, not feeling like dealing with anyone's bean paste. I knew he didn't agree with the decision either, so that's really all he could do to defend.

"You're going somewhere close, I hope?" Itachi pressed.

Kakuzu looked between Itachi and Kisame, like he wasn't sure if he should divulge. Not because they couldn't know for any particular reason, I'm not sure what the hesitation was.

Kakuzu finally settled on spitting it out, probably easier that way. "Inaho Village."

Kisame started coughing after choking on his own spit. Him and Itachi exchanged a look. Itachi's fingers curled around my nape tightly.

"I'm sorry, Kakuzu, my good lad," Kisame began, "I think I misheard you. Did you just say… Inaho Village?"

"Mhm," Kakuzu said with a disapproving grunt, his own expression clearly in line with whatever their obvious internal thoughts were.

"What's wrong with this place? Why is that everyone's reaction?" I whined, wanting to feel included.

They ignored me.

Kisame was staring at Kakuzu wearily. "Okay. Interesting. So uh, if you don't mind me asking… whatcha guys planning on doing there?"

Kakuzu shrugged. "Same old shit."

" What ?" Itachi asked sharply, eyes narrowed. I came to the conclusion that Itachi was definitely unaware in the heat of the moment that his nimble fingers were squeezing and practically massaging the muscles at the base of my hairline compulsively.

I remained absolutely still, not wanting to let on that it was a little unusual, though admittedly, it felt pretty nice .

Kakuzu sighed heavily with irritation. "Look. It'll be fine. Izumi will stay back in the room. There are things at play here that you don't understand. Now if you don't mind, or even if you do, I don't really care, fuck off."

Kisame and Itachi both seemed to be digging mental daggers into Kakuzu's face who shrugged them off well enough.

When my hand topped Itachi's, he snapped back to regard me. "Itachi, what's wrong with this place?" I asked quietly, starting to get genuinely nervous by everyone's reactions.

Itachi blinked and stared at his hand beneath mine like he was wondering how and when it had gotten there. He immediately pulled back.

"It's nothing, Izumi. I'm sure everything will be fine. Just please listen to Kakuzu while you're there."

Kisame scoffed. "Yeah, and don't touch anything, oh and make sure you wash your hands a lot."

"You're not helping," Kakuzu cut in, starting to physically move Kisame along.

"But I barely got to see them," I whined, half-heartedly reaching out for Itachi as he stood. I knew it was useless. What Kakuzu said, went.

Papa Kaku.

Itachi gave me a small apologetic smile, his head tilting as he regarded me just so. "We should be here when you return."

The two hesitantly left. Kisame lightly mussed my hair and Itachi gave me a weary look over his shoulder which instilled a nice little pit in my belly.

Well doesn't this suddenly sound like such a fun trip.

I stalked behind Kakuzu to my room. On the bright side, I was somewhat thankful I wouldn't have to meet whatever monstrosity came out of the kitchen. I could have sworn I heard an explosion come from that direction as I shut my door.

Notes:

Well, to those of you asking about Itachi... The Raven King hath returned. He is here and he is awk.

Sooo Izumi going on a little trip with our fave zombie boys. These trips always end up well, right? Never any trauma or danger...? Hm...

Thanks for reading, always dears :3 feel free to let me know your thoughts, good or bad!

Oh and if anyone is interested, I posted a test chapter of what will likely be my next project (a KisaSaku fic- I know that's cracked as fuck but don't knock it til you try it), called Yokai Sunset. If anyone would like to check it out and provide feedback, I would be forever grateful. (Warning though, is a little spicy, y'all know how it is if you've read this far.)

Chapter 44: Red Hands

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

I'd forgotten what it was like to be on the road with the sun beating down on my back. It was kind of nice. Okay, it was really nice.

Burns so gooood.

Though it was well into summer at that point and the black cloak was a major bummer. Hidan tried to convince me to be like him and just wear no shirt under it, but luckily Kakuzu shut him up before I had to engage in that conversation.

"Alright, we're leaving. Izumi, get on," Kakuzu said, indicating I should climb onto his back as he crouched down.

Hidan stepped in between us. "Whoa whoa whoa, the fuck are you doing, Gramps? I'm carrying her," he declared, arms folded as he glared at his partner.

Kakuzu stood and faced Hidan with a shadowy, scary expression. "We'll rotate," he said sternly.

I just kind of stood there watching. Kakuzu had never insisted on carrying me before, in fact he usually seemed to quite like that Hidan was all too happy to do it himself.

"Since when do you want to lug her around, anyway?!"

What do they think you are, a freaking suitcase?

"Since I spent two fucking months piecing her back together, you imbecile. If I leave her to you the whole time, you'll probably find a way to break her again."

No. Apparently just a porcelain doll.

This sent Hidan into a fuming rage. "You stupid piece of shit, you know I'm not gonna fucking do that!" Hidan hollered, pushing into his partner's face. Despite Hidan being shorter than Kakuzu, he squared up to him just fine, chest puffing and jaw pushed forward.

Kakuzu only glared. Their silent standoff lasted a few more moments before Hidan finally broke it, scoffing.

"Tch, fine, but I get first fucking dibs," he countered, backing down and sauntering over to me.

Kakuzu growled deep in his throat. I'm not even sure if he realized they were fighting over who got to carry me first … surely if he had, he would immediately pretend not to care.

I decided to step in.

"Alright, alright gentleman. I know I'm just so super fun to carry. My proposed solution is that you guys simply slice me two and you each get to carry half. Yeah?" I put it out there with a shrug, tugging Hidan's scythe down and leveling it at the center of my forehead.

Kakuzu glared and snorted at my idiocy. "Fine, Hidan. Just hurry up and take her."

As I suspected. All l had to do was be annoying.

Hidan grinned and caught me by surprise when he scooped me up so that I draped between his arms, pulling me against his chest. I'd only been expecting to be his little turtle shell like usual.

"You want to carry me like this? Won't your arms get tired?" I asked, immediately looping my hands to clasp behind his neck.

"Does it hurt like this? Am I against any of your scars too badly?" he asked back.

I shook my head quickly, "No, no, nothing like that."

"Well then don't you fucking worry about me, baby girl. I just want to be able to see that pretty fucking face of yours, that's all," he said, winking at me with one of his toothy smiles.

Acceptable.

Had I the ability to morph from solid to liquid by sweetness alone, I would have splashed right onto the ground. Instead, my face went pink and I couldn't help but return the smile. Not quite the same effect, but Hidan seemed to think it was cute enough as he brought me up to steal a kiss.

"Ugh, is this what it's going to be like now?" Kakuzu grumbled, apparently disgusted by our affection as we trudged on.

I was going to apologize but was immediately muted by Hidan's boisterous laugh. "Nah dude, don't worry, we're not even using tongue yet. It's gonna get a lot worse soon."

"Hidan!" I scolded, thinking he was actually going to assure Kakuzu otherwise at first. In hindsight, that was a silly mistake to make. "No, it's not, Kakuzu," I said, looking up at Hidan with a scrunchy face.

He gazed up at the clouds, whistling and feigning innocence.

Honestly though, despite Kakuzu's general grumpiness and everyone's mysterious apprehension about this Inaho Village, the trip there went pretty smoothly. The boys played nice when it came time to trade me off between them and I'd never actually gotten to ride on Kakuzu's back before.

Him being even taller than Hidan, I felt like a freaking giant. He let me ramble on about some of the various dreams I'd had, though I made sure not to bring up certain details like Hidan's detailed anatomy being painted across my wall. Surprisingly, he seemed to find it amusing that he had an ever-growing mustache in one of them though.

I begged him to never make such a thing a reality and he refused to agree, much to my chagrin.

"Kakuzu, please. I swear I'll never ask you for another thing in this life."

Kakuzu snorted at the thought alone. He knew as well as I did, that was not true.

"Oh, but you look so handsome clean-shaven, or just this cute stubble!" I insisted, pulling his cowl down and rubbing my palms across his scratchy cheeks to solidify my point.

"Knock it off before I throw you off," he demanded, jerking away from me.

"You wouldn't… I just might break if you do, and what an inconvenience that would be, no? Potentially expensive, too."

I couldn't see his face, but based on the growling noise that ground out of him, I was sure he was glowering at me, pissed that I was using this little tidbit of knowledge against him now.

The joke was on me though. He angled his head back to shoot me a look, face frightening close to mine. I practically freaking vaulted myself off him in sheer terror and Hidan scrambled to catch me.

"Whoa! What the fuck!?" Hidan yelled, gripping me against him.

I had never seen Kakuzu look so freaking smug before. He'd sent a mass of those creepy little tendrils to peek out from above his top lip like some sort of eldritch perversion of a mustache, expanding and undulating.

Two words that should never be associated with mustaches.

I would never unsee it. It was my eternal nightmare.

I'd never heard him laugh so loud. Hidan lost his beans over it too, cackling madly in my ear, much to my dismay. Oh, they thought it was a real freaking hoot.

"Kakuzu! Put those things away!" I shrieked, pleading, covering my eyes and peeking out through my fingers.

Hidan interjected, "Nah dude, I think it makes you look distinguished. You should keep it. You can offer mustache rides."

"Hidan! Don't encourage him!" I shouted, smacking his chest which he pretended to be injured by, the dope.

"I think I'll keep it," Kakuzu agreed.

I balked and refused to ride on Kakuzu's back for a while after that. Hidan took me onto his and for a good hour or so, shouted different facial hair requests at Kakuzu and shockingly, Kakuzu played along.

The two were actually getting along kind of famously… the best I'd ever seen, anyway. I would have found a lot more enjoyment in watching them together if they weren't bonding over such a creepy thing. Kakuzu's long, tendrilled wizard beard was pure nightmare fuel. And don't even get me started on the mutton chops...

Luckily we only had to make camp one night, Kakuzu said if we got up early and stayed on schedule, we'd get to the village before nightfall.

"How are you holding up, sweetheart?" Hidan asked as he began unfurling both our sleeping bags next to each other.

"I'm okay, a little tired," I said with a yawn. "Which feels kind of messed up, considering you guys carried me around all day."

"Hey, you be fucking nice to yourself, okay?" he scolded. "You were under the sun all damn day and you had to look at Kakuzu's ugly fucking mug more than you're used to. It must have been exhausting ."

I snorted. He was so rude... but after those mustache antics, I didn't feel all that bad about laughing.

"It was a little rough on the eyes, maybe that's why they're so tired..." I pondered aloud.

Hidan grinned, crawling over to me across the two sleeping bags he just merged together to make one big one.

"Luckily for you, sweetheart, I'm pretty easy on the eyes. How's that for some fucking balance?"

Yes. Yes, he really is.

Even though I was perfectly comfortable around Hidan and quite used to his advances by that point... the visual of him approaching me like that, the way the muscles of his shoulders moved as he stalked over to me on all fours like a predator…

My heart skipped, beating abruptly fast. I definitely felt like prey.

He was quickly upon me, hands grounded on each side of me, chest puffing, touching my own, mouth moving against mine. My fingers curled into the grass to hold me in place as he hummed contently into my mouth the moment I let him in.

The low growl of a predator very much suited him.

The helpless keening noise slipping out of me only fueled him more.

" Hidan… " Kakuzu's warning voice gave him pause as he entered into the clearing with an armful of wood. Hidan gave it another lingering second before smirking against me and pulling away.

"Don't tell me you want one too," Hidan said, giving his partner a sideways glance.

Kakuzu stomped over and threw some logs on the fire, stopping just a moment to kick Hidan with a swift foot to his side. I reeled back, wanting to avoid the violence that I was very close to.

I winced as Hidan was launched away from me, sent rolling and tumbling a few times before his back hit a tree with an audible crack, leading me to believe there was more than a good amount of force behind the blow...

"I will fucking separate you two if you can't keep it in your pants, Hidan."

"Hey! It's in my fucking pants, dude," Hidan said, coughing up a little blood and pushing himself up to his knees angrily, wiping at his mouth with a sloppy fist and glaring at his partner.

Kakuzu returned the glare at Hidan's pants specifically, cocking an eyebrow in irritation.

" Barely ."

I also looked. Hidan was… excited.

Somehow, against all odds, the man managed to maintain his erection even through internal bleeding and practically breaking his back. 'Freak of nature' didn't even begin to cover it, but as far as I was concerned, he was my freak of nature.

I was exceedingly embarrassed as the two argued about making sure Hidan didn't plan on having sex with me next to Kakuzu that night, as if I didn't have a say in it. Talk about freaking awkward.

"Can we not?" I chimed in, thick disgust in my tone.

Kakuzu regarded me silently and seemed to approve of my revulsion.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I scurried over to Hidan, taking his face in my hands and wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth with the hem of my shirt.

"You didn't need to hurt him like that…" I complained, giving Kakuzu a stern look.

And they had been getting along so well...

"He's fine."

I scoffed, shaking my head. Though their incessant mutual abuse of each other was nothing new, I didn't have to like it.

Hidan, still on his knees as I stood before him, tilted his head back to give me a better look at his face. He was striking as ever in the firelight. His magenta eyes glinting alongside the flickering flames, skin warm and tinted with hues of orange, a smear of blood I'd missed.

"Mm, yeah, Kakuzu is a fucking bastard, kick his ass for me, baby."

Kakuzu chuffed in a way that made me think he found that pretty darn amusing. Hidan grinned even wider. He always just wanted to get a laugh, it didn't matter how or from whom.

"What kind of role reversal is this?" I asked, pursing my lips at Hidan. As much as I wanted to protect Hidan, it wasn't really in my wheelhouse.

"Come on, sweetheart. It really hurt. Defend my honor, baby," he whined with undertones of amusement.

"Yes, Izumi, come kick my ass," Kakuzu said with a snort, impaling a few fish onto wooden spears and sticking them into the ground beside the fire.

I lazily regarded Kakuzu with a yawn. "Maybe tomorrow, Kakuzu. I'm pretty wiped."

He scoffed. The thought was indeed absurd.

The night wound down from there. Kakuzu looked to the sky and noted a storm was making its way in and hoped to beat it to the village tomorrow. We all chatted a bit, even Kakuzu, as we waited for the fish to cook.

"Hey Kakuzu?" I asked sleepily as he handed me a skewered fish. I felt too tired to even eat it.

"What."

"I have a question about something Hidan said earlier."

He sighed deeply. "Wait for him to come back then. He's only taking a leak."

"Yeah, but I can't always trust him to give me an honest answer," I whined pleadingly.

Kakuzu glanced over at me, taking a large bite from the blackened trout. With another heavy sigh, he seemed to acknowledge my point as valid, as much as he did not want to.

"Fine. Ask it," he muttered with a mouth-full, chewing loudly as he crunched into bones. Manners be damned.

"What's a mustache ride?"

I never did get my answer. Kakuzu was too busy choking on fish.

"Go the fuck to bed, Izumi. Don't ask me shit like that," he eventually managed to get out.

"Stuff like what!? I don't even know what it is!" I protested.

"Don't know what what is?" Hidan asked, as if on cue, swaggering into the clearing from the tree line, retying his waist belt.

"Kakuzu won't tell me what a mustache ride is," I pouted.

Hidan also choked, but on a laugh, and one that didn't end for a very long time. The longer it went on, the more Kakuzu's glare deepended, silently warning Hidan not to answer in a way that would repulse him.

"Oh, baby girl," Hidan breathed, getting the last remnants of his laugh out as he came around behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder, arms wrapping around my waist. "I promise I will show you sometime."

"Hidan…" Kakuzu cautioned.

"What? She wants to know!" Hidan defended with a laugh.

"Don't you ever fucking grow a mustache. If I see even the hint of one I will fucking rip it off. Now go to bed, both of you."

"Geez, alright, Mom. And fuck off, I'd look good in a mustache," Hidan defended with a sniff.

I'd admit Hidan looked good in a lot of things, but no. Not that.

Team Kakuzu on this one.

Not that I wanted Kakuzu to have one either. In fact, I tried to imagine if any of the Akatsuki could pull off a mustache and eventually came to the conclusion that no one could, like, in the world.

These were the thoughts I had as I crawled into my bedroll, and between the heat of the fire in front of me and Hidan behind, I found myself lulling to sleep with a half-eaten fish in hand. I vaguely heard Hidan chuckling quietly as he plucked it from my fingers. I curled into him, humming at the feeling of his lips pressed to my forehead.

He whispered in my ear, "goodnight, sweetheart," draping a heavy arm over me and pulling me against him so that I was the little spoon. He knew that was my favorite. Very safe, quite warm.

I grunted something back. It was supposed to be 'goodnight'. It was close enough.

When we got to the village the next day, both Hidan and Kakuzu were very weird about it. I had been curious and wanted to see the sights, explore a little. Perhaps, just maybe, that had something to do with everyone's initial reactions upon hearing I was coming to this particular village.

I wanted to know why. What about it made it so forbidden?

It seemed normal enough based on the few streets we rushed through to get to an inn located very close to the entrance of the village. I was barely able to see anything on the way, both Hidan and Kakuzu in a rare moment of agreement, urging that we just quickly get to the room.

"We made it before sundown," Kakuzu remarked to Hidan kind of quietly, like that was a very good thing.

"What happens after sundown?" I asked, rolling out my sleeping mat and staring up at the two.

"Nothing," Kakuzu said curtly, "it's just best not to travel at night, especially with a storm rolling in."

I eyed him suspiciously. I'd buy it if they hadn't been so freaking sketchy about bringing me along in the first place.

After finishing setting up my area, I took to the window and saw we had chosen a room that happened to have a view of absolute horse crap, butted right up to the building next to us. I scowled, more curious than ever.

It wasn't long after settling in that the sun finally touched ground and both of the guys made a motion to ready their things like they were heading out.

"You're both leaving?" I asked, surprised and unable to hide the disappointment from neither my voice or my face.

Hidan crouched down to meet my eye level, finger-combing through my hair and tucking it behind my ear as I sat on the tatami.

"Yeah, sorry sweetheart, you've got your books to keep you busy, right? I left water on the table. Oh and here, take this," he handed me a pouch of his money after taking some out for himself and stuffing it into his pocket, "you order whatever the fuck you want for dinner, alright? We'll be back really late tonight so don't stay up waiting."

There was something about his expression that made me sad but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Where are you guys going?" I asked.

"Just some shitty business we have to take care of, that's all," Hidan assured, planting a kiss on my forehead. I grabbed his wrists to keep him there.

"But what if I need you guys, where do I find you?" I asked, getting increasingly worried about being alone, not with everything that had happened lately. This question in particular seemed to put a rather pained, defeated look on Hidan's face.

He let out an unsure sigh, looking between me and Kakuzu. "Man, maybe I just shouldn't fucking go this time," he said to his partner who shook his head sternly.

"You always go, it's good for you. It's good for this," he said somewhat cryptically, tapping his temple. "It's safer for… certain people… if you do," he followed up, discreetly side-eyeing me.

But not that discreetly. What the heck is that all about?

I furrowed my brow, straining to piece together what he was trying to get at. Hidan looked disgruntled, his mouth set in a fixed line, like he wanted to argue but knew that Kakuzu was right. I just wanted to know what he was right about...

Kakuzu looked at me directly, "Izumi, you will be fine. Just stay in the room and don't do anything stupid. We will be back later."

Hidan planted one more kiss on my forehead, then stole another from my lips. He departed with an overly apologetic look that left me worrying. The room felt so empty once they'd left.

I tried to keep myself distracted. I had ordered dinner like Hidan said, and while it was exceptionally tasty, I would have very much preferred to eat dirt if it meant I'd have some company.

I found that more than ever, I hated the silence of a vacant room. I wanted to hear the shuffle of money as Kakuzu counted it, the noise of Hidan's shoes tapping out whatever song was stuck in his head.

It was too quiet, even with the rain. I hoped the guys had made it wherever they were going before the weather got really bad. It was starting to come down pretty hard and rumbles of thunder could be heard rolling in from the distance.

Reading my booking was a restless activity as the hour grew later, odd noises from down the streets began filtering in through the cracked window. It was a raucous, lively noise. People yelling and laughing, shouting obscenities and all sorts of things.

It seemed way too busy for nighttime, especially during a thunderstorm, and I was growing so ungodly curious about the nature of the village I found myself in.

With all the rain, I got the seedling of an idea in my head that if I were to go exploring just a little , I could blend right in if I wore my big, hooded poncho. It was floppy and black and made of a material that allowed the rain to wick right off it, and best of all, it basically covered my entire body and face.

Well, the later the night went on, the worse the storm got and the harder it became to focus on my book. That seedling had begun to form a nice, hearty sprout.

What could it hurt?

A lot. It could hurt a lot.

My alter was trying to get me in trouble like always. Wandering about in a strange town in my pathetically weak state would have been a very dumb decision. I couldn't get too far on foot before my legs gave out, throw in the terrible weather mucking up the roads and that distance got even shorter.

I stared back at my book, steeling my resolve to abandon such curiosities in favor of glaring at the same page I'd been on for the last ten minutes.

But it was then that everything went stark white for a flash, a shuddering crack of lightning mixed with thunder shaking the room. The lights flickered before dousing completely. Everything fell into complete darkness, myself included.

I practically jumped out of my skin from the noise before descending into a more drawn-out version of gripping anxiety. Suddenly I felt like the air had been replaced by gloom itself, none of it seemed to stick in my lungs no matter how much I breathed in.

"Hidan…?" I whispered, stupidly, I might add.

I knew he wasn't there to hear me, wouldn't come rushing to my rescue. Logically, I knew that, but the logical part of my brain was not the one driving at the moment.

"Hi… Hidan? K-Kakuzu?" I whimpered, sounding pathetic even to my own ears.

My breath was shallow and shaking. I reached out and around, patting desperately at the blankets surrounding me to remind myself that I was there in the room, not back in that endless abyss.

It wasn't really helping though, my heart had begun palpitating in a way that left me wondering how long it would be able to maintain such a chaotic rhythm before it gave out entirely.

"Hidan… help... please..." I said, beginning a repetition of it, more as a mantra to calm me down than an actual request, obviously.

My hand landed on my poncho. I gripped it and pulled it to my chest.

Let's go?

I knew I shouldn't leave… it would be foolish. Kakuzu would be furious. Probably Hidan, too.

But at least… I wouldn't be alone… and it wouldn't be dark .

Let's go.

I rushed through the darkened hallways, frantically feeling my way out, bumping into several people on the way. I got a couple weird looks as I tore from the building in a huff, bursting through the doors and leaning against the exterior wall with a heavy breath.

I spent the first five minutes just breathing deeply to collect myself beneath the dripping overhang outside of the entrance. I had the thought that maybe I could just wait there for the guys or the power to come back on.

With enough natural light from the storm and moon, as well as some gas lamps around, it was plenty bright to keep my anxieties at bay.

But now that I'd made it outside, my curiosity was insatiable .

The village was relatively small but boy was it busy . I couldn't believe the active nightlife the place had as I hit the muddy streets, especially during a storm. My head was on a swivel as I explored further into town, it seemed to get even louder as I did so.

While I didn't exactly know where I was going, I at least kept a mental track of how to get back. Looking about, there was one street in particular, just off the main drag, that drew me in.

The lights emitted from it were loud and colorful and beckoning. They teased at every inquisitive bone in my body. I was like a fly impossibly drawn to the beauty of a bug zapper. It was just too pretty, I just had to see, nevermind that it might kill me.

It shiny. Go see.

No one paid me any mind as I trudged my way over there, they all seemed to be plenty occupied with their own desires.

There were barkers shouting at people enthusiastically, urging them to check out whatever seedy establishment they stood in front of, and yeah, seedy was the perfect word. A lot of these loud, greasy men would have a woman or two behind them, either beneath the overhang or through the large 'storefront' windows, scantily clad and posing provocatively, giggling, throwing imaginary ropes at potential clients and flirtatiously drawing them in.

Part of me was disgusted and felt horrible for the women, especially the ones outside as even I was cold being fully clothed, but another part of me was just in awe of it all. I had no idea places like this even existed.

An entire street blaring with a mingling of music, lined in flashing neon lights and signs, women dancing and luring men to them like sirens, an overabundance of food and alcohol and, despite the weather, business seemed to be booming.

Something like rain, even this freezing, rumbling downpour, would not stop the type of people that came here from getting what they wanted.

I was starting to understand why Kakuzu and Hidan were acting so strangely about me going there, especially after my previous experience with seedy types. I didn't see why they couldn't just tell me though. It wasn't like it was their fault they had to do business in a place like this.

The smell of smoke filled the air so thickly that it could be tasted. In fact, there was a general haze to the entire street from all the people laughing and falling all over themselves, cigars and cigarettes in hand, typically a drink in the other.

I cautiously made my way further into what felt like the belly of the beast, taking in quite the risque and face-reddening sights. To be honest, I had no idea breasts came in so many unique varieties.

At one point I felt a hand grab my arm and I whirled around, tearing away instinctively.

"You looking for work, sweetheart?" A man asked me. He had a large, stretching smile with short, yellowed teeth. "Got an opening for your type. We can cover up these scars easy." His fingers glanced along the one on my cheek and I flinched back. "How old are you, fourteen, fifteen?"

"N-no," I stuttered out, gripping my elbows. I hated that he called me sweetheart. It sounded infinitely better coming out of Hidan's mouth.

I also hated that he thought I was so young, mostly because it disturbed me beyond belief that he thought it was okay to try to poach me at all if he really thought that, but also… did I really look that much like a child?

"Just pleasure then? No problem, sweetheart, we have some guys inside that could treat a pretty little lady like you just right," he offered, slimy as ever.

I just shook my head, speechless and wanting to get away from him.

"Ah, you're into ladies then? My girls would be happy to help," He said, smile growing.

I practically tripped over myself trying to put some distance between us, muttering a 'no, thank you'.

Why the heck are you using manners on him?

Someone needed to have them.

Okay, so I could definitely see why Kakuzu told me to stay put. The place seemed like it could be kind of dangerous for a young woman, and for anyone, really.

I gripped my poncho tightly against me as a blustering wind tore down the street, threatening to unveil me. It nearly did, tearing the hood back for a split second, allowing for a spattering of freezing wetness to drip onto my face and down my collar before I secured it back in place.

The cold had already reached my bones, even through the cloak, that was just icing on the cake.

I should have gone back. Logically, I knew this. My teeth were nearly chattering and I had seen enough new sights for one night, but I was still just a fly buzzing around, and the biggest, brightest bug zapper lay just ahead.

Must… see… so… shiny...

One particularly large and impressive establishment seemed to dominate the upcoming intersection in both volume and flashiness. The structure itself actually seemed rather rickety with it's white, chipping paint flaking off to reveal the dark deteriorating wood beneath. It was flanked on all sides by a massive wrap around porch which was flooded with people.

I stared up at the enormous, flashing neon sign, vibrant shades of blue and purple, it hung above the entrance reading "Nightshade Lounge", another smaller neon pink sign on the side of the building just said "girls girls girls" and yet another in red said "need a ride?".

And there were many girls indeed, though 'women' would be a much more appropriate term. As I slowly approached the establishment, I couldn't help but study them enviously. The grand porch was littered with them, women of all varieties and aesthetics, but they all had one thing in common.

They were all infinitely more attractive than me. I couldn't possibly compete with them. They were all done up and curvaceous and beautiful .

Even the way they carried themselves was like silk. I was just some scratchy old t-shirt with holes in it. I felt like a stick figure or some underdeveloped child next to them. A girl, certainly not a woman. A scarred and disfigured girl at that.

I suddenly felt overwhelmingly self-conscious at the thought that if Hidan travelled down this street… what would he think of women like this? Would he be reminded that they exist? Would he compare me against them in his head and realize what an idiot he'd been to be 'attracted' to me?

My teeth abused my lip at these thoughts that continued to roil in the depths of my unforgiving little walnut brain.

I had reached the front of the place, the wind continuing to whip and whirl against my cloak, I continued to clutch it shut. Staring with a heavy heart at the women who adorned the railings, leaning and dangling over them, breasts pushed out as they waved at other passerbys, I decided it was probably time to head back.

But I couldn't. I couldn't move. A sheen of silver caught my attention.

I came to an abrupt halt. The people around pushed and jostled me about in annoyance at my sudden stop. I paid them no mind, completely fixated on the man sitting on the steps, right before me, maybe only ten feet from me.

There he was, under the flickering neon lights, wrapped in a billow of smoke. Hidan was sitting beneath the overhang on the steps of the lavish, yet run down looking building. The bright neon lights backlit him, leaving his face in just shadow with soft, glowing edges. His elbows rested on wide-set knees, a cigarette in one hand pulling away from his lips as he took a long drag.

I had never seen him smoke before. He looked pretty seasoned at it though, the way he held it, inhaled. It almost bothered me how good he made it look.

He was focused blankly ahead of him, taking another drag. For a second I thought he was looking at me , but he remained motionless, staring distantly like his mind was somewhere else entirely.

My heart tightened at the sight of him. I couldn't tell what I wanted to do more, run into his arms or run away.

This didn't seem like some 'shitty business' as he'd called it… though it looked like maybe… he had just finished some business. Despite the temperature, his cloak was nowhere to be seen, his impeccable torso on display for viewing and yes, it was certainly being viewed.

I watched the way some of the women looked at him and felt a sharp pang in my heart, something so awful and unfamiliar.

That's jealousy, hun.

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. I wondered if it was disheveled from him doing that too much, or something else.

My chest clenched at the thought... that he would leave me alone so he could be here with some strangers. Maybe it was just… just a stress reliever after what he'd been through lately, meeting a need I couldn't fulfill due to my still fragile state and his… rough tendencies.

Or maybe he couldn't get past the way I looked now. I was different from before. Maybe my scars revolted him like Kakuzu's stitches. Maybe he took one look at literally any of the ladies here and suddenly remembered what a woman was supposed to look like.

Me not being enough was a trend throughout my life, but this one stung particularly bad.

I clenched my fists and held my breath in an attempt to prevent any tears as I watched him. It wasn't just painful because of all the disgustingly vivid images my brain was conconcting, imagining what he'd been up to, it was also the look on his face.

It was lost, miles away. Torn and brooding, the heel of his palm coming up to rub at his temple after another drag from the cigarette. He winced his eyes shut for a moment as he expelled the smoke from his nostrils. They went back to an absent stare when he reopened them.

His face wasn't entirely blank though, it was almost… defeated? Anguished? It was so hard to pin, but I'd never seen him so melancholy. I almost went to him in spite of my own worries, overwhelmed with the urge to wrap my arms around him and kiss him all over his handsome face and tell him that, whatever it was, it was okay.

But I guess I wasn't the only one with that urge.

I watched, my heart contracting even more, as one particularly stunning woman sauntered over to Hidan, heels clacking, placing a rubbing hand on his shoulder and crouching behind him to wrap her arms around him from behind. She had a wistful smile on as she whispered something in his ear.

He mildly acknowledged her but I couldn't tell what he said, I only caught the slight shake of his head and the small waving gesture of his free hand. She continued to rub her hands across his chest, her fingertips grazing and scratching up his pectorals slowly.

She was an exquisite woman with a heavy chest that spilled out of her corset top and rested against his back as she reached around him. Her hair was perfectly tousled, a vibrant ochre that curled and kinked charmingly to frame her heart-shaped face.

He looked straight ahead still, eyes downcast, ignoring her but not telling her to stop by any means. Taking another drag, he seemed to sigh on the expulsion.

"Hidan…" I breathed out, feeling sick to my stomach, yet clutching at my heart subconsciously.

I was thankful it was dark and downpouring, otherwise I would have been plainly spotted. The only lights were from the many colorful neon signs which cast an odd glow across everything, reflecting brightly off all the puddles and sheens of water, slick on people's skin and clothes.

Hidan and the woman rubbing her lithe fingers down his broad chest were bathed in a red light that poured out hazily from the venue door open behind them. Even from the distance I was at, I could see her perfectly manicured nails were digging tracks into him as she moved over his muscles.

Seemed like she knew what he liked.

Hm.

Hidan looked to be in stasis as he stared ahead, mechanically smoking the cigarette dangling between his fingers. He made no move to stop the woman, in fact he didn't even seem to notice her as he fixated on seemingly nothing at all with great intensity. It was like he was trying really hard to listen to a distant conversation .

Her lips suddenly wrapped around his neck from behind and I felt my stomach twist in on itself.

Who the hell was I kidding? That was the type of woman he wanted, the type he was used to. Not some frail stick, covered in ugly marks and scar tissue. Nails chewed down to the nub. A mop of hair currently slick against me, even under the hood from the rain that seemed to come in sideways, making me look like a drowned rat.

I bit my lip to try to hide my immediate souring expression, not that anyone could even see it.

I'd made a terrible mistake. This was his territory and I should have never encroached on it. This was not anything I ever wanted to see.

I mean honestly, what did I expect to happen? Did I even have any right to be hurt or jealous? We were never "officially" together in any capacity. Maybe we'd been on our way to it, but then I fell into a coma for over two months, during which Hidan cared for me restlessly, subjecting himself to torture and experimentation just so Kakuzu could safely practice medical ninjutsu on me.

I know it was crushing for him. An oppressive, unknowingness of whether or not I would die at any given point, if it would all be in vain. I could sense his dread and anxiety even through my dreams in the depth of my sleep, it was palpable and I knew only a sliver of how he'd actually been affected.

If he wanted to write me off in favor of something like this, something detached and easy… how could I deny him that? After all the pain he put himself through for me?

Despite coming to this logical conclusion, it still hurt to see. I couldn't even slow the spread of the horrible feeling as it consumed me.

Wrapping my arms around my shoulders, I shook my head like it would jostle this image from my memory. Another powerful gust came ripping down the narrow street and without me clasping it shut at the neck, my cloak rippled and flung about, the hood whipping backwards.

Uh oh.

The world suddenly came to a grinding halt. I eked out a small noise unintentionally as I tried to grab my hood back in place, but it was too late.

That's all it took.

Hidan had lost the vacant stare in the split-second my hood fell back, instantly honing in on me with widening eyes. The woman was still attached to his neck, I'm not sure if he knew this.

He'd been mid-drag on the cigarette. His mouth fell open and the smoke just seemed to leak out of him while he expelled a queasy noise from the back of his throat as he stared at me intensely. He seemed to be in absolute, disgusted disbelief of seeing me there where I certainly should not have been.

I couldn't bite back my pained expression anymore. It must have been an ugly one because Hidan's face went completely slack and forlorn upon seeing it.

"What… are you doing here?" he asked, hauntingly incredulous. It was such a strange demeanor on him.

"I-I'm sorry. I just, the power went out… it was d-dark, and… I got scared, and... I-I missed you, and… I can... um… see you're busy." My voice sounded like I'd been turned into a freaking mouse. "I-I shouldn't have come… I'm sorry, I-I'll go." I wasn't even sure if he could hear me with how diminutive I sounded.

I gripped myself harder and turned to leave. His brows knitted painfully, his head lolling back and tilting on his shoulder.

"Sweetheart, no…no, no, no..." he croaked out a string of barely audible refutations as panic began to set in.

He looked at me with the full realization that I'd been there long enough to see plenty I shouldn't have, especially considering it was still happening. He definitely didn't realize.

"I-I have to go," I rushed out, hyper-fixated on the mouth sucking on his neck and not really wanting to continue watching.

He released a breathless "fuck" with a tight close of his eyes, tipping his head back as he processed the most likely outcome of me seeing him like this.

Notes:

O_O

Oh man. Stay tuned for... things.

Seriously though, mustaches are a mistake on 90% of people.

Chapter 45: Heart-Pinned Sleeve

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

He released a breathless "fuck" with a tight close of his eyes, tipping his head back as he processed the most likely outcome of me seeing him like this.

The woman behind Hidan stopped at his sudden vocalization, but mostly because he was standing up now, and she was falling back onto her ass with a startled huff.

She may as well not have existed to him, he seemed so unphased and hyperfocused on me. He was jittery, his expression a strange combination of fear and determination as he stared me down with his hands out in a halting gesture.

"You can't be out like this, not in your condition. Just… please come in and let me fucking explain, baby girl," he said carefully, taking a very slow step towards me.

That woman was still all over him in a way though, taking the form of scarlet stains smeared across his neck in a sloppy pattern. The last time I'd seen so much red on his neck was when he was decapitated.

All things considered, this was a marked improvement from that, but still… I wasn't entirely fond of the visual.

I subconsciously clutched and twisted at the poncho overtop my heart as it felt like a snake was constricting around it. I felt ready to give in to my fight, flight or freeze instinct as it was screaming at me to take off as fast as I could muster on my weak little legs.

Hidan looked even more on edge when he could tell I was about to flee. My face must not have been subtle regarding my intentions, eyes darting madly, searching for an escape route.

He took one last shaky drag, inhaling deeply and tossing the cigarette to the ground, stomping over it as he descended out into the rain with smoke curling from his nostrils, leaving the dryness of the covered steps behind him.

"Izumi? Baby…?" He was moving slowly and carefully, almost crouching, knees bent with each step to make himself less imposing, his hands still out like a hunter approaching a wild creature and trying not to startle it away.

I couldn't seem to answer him. The cacophony within my stupid brain just kept forcing me to stare at his neck, begging me to turn tail and run.

"Don't fucking go, sweetheart... I know how this looks… Please, just… just come here," he urged, nearly luring me in with that earnest, pleading expression softening his features.

The many people gathered on the large, dilapidated porch all took to staring. I imagined some of them knew Hidan to a degree, and this was likely unusual behavior for him.

I stalled, still unable to form words and looking frantic as he got closer, my eyes edging to the side, planning my getaway. I wanted to believe him, to hear him out, but my mind felt so clouded every time I caught a glimpse of the stop signal painted onto his neck.

My feet itched to move, yet I stood there frozen under his gaze.

"Say something, sweetheart," he begged, eyes riddled with increasing concern the longer my silence held.

I felt like a rubberband about to snap and fly off at any given moment, and he seemed to recognize this.

"You shouldn't be out of bed, baby… you're gonna fuck yourself up if you overdo it…" He continued to inch closer until he was almost looming over me, yet still, he seemed to shrink down even more so he didn't.

"Why don't you come in with me, out of this rain? We can talk inside," he coaxed, nodding with wide eyes like he was trying to implant the idea of cooperation into me.

The nearer he drew, the more I could see the lipstick stains. Better yet, I saw some that weren't actually stains at all. They were dark, purplish blooms beneath his skin. My stomach curled in on itself at the sight.

I shook my head in a small motion, shuffling backwards nervously, watching him approach too closely.

He frowned at my slight retreat. "You must be freezing, sweetheart… please just… just let me fucking take care of you…" he petitioned, eyes unblinking as he got even closer.

He finally reached me and the minute his hands touched my shoulders, I shifted from 'freeze' to 'fight', surprising even myself.

We are just cycling through, aren't we?

"Don't touch me!" I found myself crying out without even thinking, slapping him away and reeling back with a stumble, clutching at myself.

To think, Hidan of all people actually looked startled .

His hands jolted back and shot through his hair, messily entwining with it, an almost helpless look in his eyes as he took in my visceral reaction to his touch. He looked like he was coping with having fallen into one of his nightmares.

"Baby, no…" he choked out, swallowing hard as he put his arms out tentatively once more, the same way he would often do to coax me into them, despite me not usually requiring much, if any, coaxing.

The saddest part was that I still wanted to be there. He was trying so hard to get me there without force, lord knows he could have easily just made me do whatever he wanted.

"Please don't touch me…" I cried quietly, "not after you just... with… someone else."

I couldn't bear to even look at the nauseated face he was making. I didn't want to feel bad for him.

He took it even further. I didn't have to be looking at him to hear the thud of his knees hitting the ground with a messy splash.

"Look at me," he croaked.

My eyes betrayed my intentions as they shifted to regard him on command.

He looked so defeated, shamelessly on his knees before me, staring up with his arms out to his sides, palms up, mud-splashed and shirtless, being harried by the freezing rain.

"I need to explain this, sweetheart. I'm gonna go fucking insane if you leave here thinking that."

I shook my head frantically. "There's nothing for you to explain, you don't owe me anything," I said, resigned and quiet, my voice starting to crack. "We're not... together. You can do whatever you want, Hidan." I barely managed to choke out the last part.

I started to lose it, wiping at my face with my cold numbed fingers frantically.

There was that tortured look again. "I promise you, baby girl, you're all I fucking want… just, come inside," he pleaded, his face never more earnest than it was just then. "Sweetheart… Please just fucking stay here with me. I am on my knees fucking begging you."

As if I couldn't already see that. As if it wasn't already making my knees weak.

There was something so beautiful about him under the neon lights. I wished I had the opportunity to admire him properly. Not through this lens of soul-crushing worthlessness.

"Hidan… i-it's okay… you didn't d-do anything wrong. It's not like… not like you're mine… " I said, squeezing hard around myself. I was freezing.

His eyes shot wide as he shook his head adamantly, rushing to correct me, "No. No, fuck that. I am . That's all I fucking am. I fucking promise you that, baby girl."

He spoke so feverishly, the rain spitting off of his lips with each syllable, chest puffing.

I swallowed a lump down my throat at the sound of his raw inflection.

My voice sounded so small. "But you… you're here. I… I'm not enough for you," I said. I think my heart cracked more than my voice as the words came out.

He cringed, his arms dropping down into the mud, fingers wrenching at fistfuls of the stuff. "No… baby, that's not fucking true. Don't make that face. I know how bad it looks, sweetheart, I really do. But I promise you, I haven't done shit here tonight. I need to get you inside so I can explain everything, okay?"

"How can you say you haven't done anything? Your neck is literally covered in lipstick, Hidan," I said, exasperated and head-shaking.

"Listen to me. Look at me. I don't fucking lie to you, baby. I never have. This?" he said, clawing at his neck with his mud-covered fingers to cover it up with a different kind of filth. "It's nothing . It was like having a… a fucking mosquito on me. I didn't even notice it happening, I swear. My mind was a million miles away. It was on you ," he said, the disgust in his voice distorting his usual confident, bolstered tenor.

"Don't you fucking see? It's always you, baby girl."

I wasn't sure if it was my from atrophied muscles, the cold, or the way Hidan's words had the ability to hit me like a sledgehammer, but my knees began to tremble.

"Izumi… I swear to you, I'm wearing my heart on my fucking sleeve here… in fact," he said, pausing. I noticed a kind of desperate, chaotic glint to his eyes as he seemed to fasten onto an idea. He reached behind him into a pouch, pulling out a kunai. "Baby, I will do you one better. I will literally fucking cut it out. I will pull it out and pin it to my fucking arm for you, sweetheart. You'll never have to fucking guess, okay?"

For whatever reason, in that twisted mind of his, Hidan had latched onto the idea so quickly that he was already pushing the kunai through his chest with a hiss, teeth clenching as the metal sunk deep into his flesh.

"Hidan!" I shouted, frantically rushing to stop him.

"I'll just need you... to put it back in for me, baby," he gritted out as he carved a path down his sternum.

"Stop it! Please! You don't need to do that, I'll go inside with you!" I shrieked, finally on him and wrenching the knife away, flinging it off to the side in a tizzy. I was lucky no one happened to be there.

Oops. heh.

I stared down at him in horror and he met my gaze, his teeth gleaming beneath the helter-skelter lights surrounding us, smiling broadly with relief.

"You'll come inside?" he beamed up at me.

"If it'll get you to stop cutting your freaking heart out in the middle of the street? Yes. Yes, I think I will, Hidan!" I shouted at him over the weather and also just because he needed to seriously be shouted at.

He grinned at me stupidly.

I should have been mad, furious even, That wasn't fair, what he just did. He stripped me of agency. As if I'd ever let him do something so gruesome to himself because of me…

But the worst part was that I didn't even think he was trying to manipulate me with that stunt… he truly thought that might be some valid form of lov-

No no no… we aren't using that word, remember?

I wasn't mad though. Hidan was smiling up at me, wide and brimming with relief. I nearly forgot why I'd been upset to begin with.

Nearly.

He woozily lifted his arms from his sides again, palms up, looking up at me with a slowly shaking head. His wound was taking its sweet time to heal, and the crimson washed down his chest and stomach in a wide swath. He looked like some sort of willing sacrifice.

A beautiful one, awash with tones of shocking fuchsia and electric blue from the neon signage nearby. I felt like we'd jumped into a different reality for a moment.

He shouted back at me unnecessarily, given the fact that I was right up on him.

"This is all I have for you, sweetheart. I know it's a shitty deal, I really do, but I'm yours if you'll take me." He never dropped that half-smile, so repentant and pleading, even as he swayed there almost deliriously beneath the torrential rain. He had lost a lot of blood.

People in the streets were still paused to stare at the bizarre scene occurring before them. Even more onlookers had gathered on the porch of the Nightshade Lounge.

"Hidan…" I whispered quietly.

He looked up at me in waiting, arms still outstretched, expectant. I realized he wanted me to walk into them and suddenly I felt the weighty awkwardness of over a dozen gazes upon us.

"Everyone's looking…" I muttered.

"Maybe I want them to," Hidan said very seriously, eyes tethered to mine.

To have this powerful man submit to the likes of me , down in the mud in front of everyone to see. Willing to literally carve his heart out... It was like they were witnessing a supernatural occurrence. They may as well have been.

I scanned the crowd uncomfortably.

"Don't worry about them. Look at me," he assured, gazing up at me with those eyes of his, practically neon lights of their own. "Come here, baby girl."

My legs were on the brink of giving out.

There was no more resisting the promise of his embrace. Stumbling into him, my knees buckled as he wrapped his giant arms around me just under my butt and lifted me up against him as he stood.

We swayed for a second before straightening out. He grinned at the flash of nerves across my face as we did so.

"I got you," he assured.

But in what way…?

I raked through his hair, his eyes lulling shut as soon as they did. My heart did an odd, fluttery thing at the sight, and the only option I had was to pull his face against mine. Lips mashing together, I opened before he even asked, and his tongue immediately obliged, sloppy and rough against mine.

The drunken crowd erupted behind us, cheering and hollering, whistling and whooping. I couldn't help but smile big into the kiss at the sound of them, forcing us to break with my laughter. He was smiling too, looking like he couldn't believe his luck.

"I'm taking you inside now, you fucking popsicle," Hidan said, nosing against my cheek before lowering and swinging me around so I draped between his arms.

"Please do," I murmured, pulling myself against him, teeth chattering and nuzzling into him in return.

The cheering and shouted comments from onlookers continued as Hidan parted the crowd, bee lining straight toward the red light pouring out from the Nightshade Lounge. It was strangely inviting.

Hidan was eating it up, turning to face the crowd with a grin just before we dipped inside, taking a quick moment to bow and toss out a wink or two before pressing another crowd-pleasing kiss into me. He was seriously hamming it up, the big goof.

The air of the lounge hit me like a snuggly blanket as thick as the smoke that wafted about.

Hidan looked down at me with a suddenly worrisome expression. "You okay with the smoke?"

It took me a moment to figure out why he was asking me that. It had been a while and I'd moved on from what happened with Gorzo and my previous reaction to this sort of thing. God, it seemed like a lifetime ago.

But admittedly… it felt good ? It made me feel just a little less broken to know that I was genuinely okay now with something that would have sent me in a tailspin before. I didn't even need to pretend.

That gave me hope that I wouldn't fear the dark for the rest of my life too.

I nodded up at Hidan before nosing back under his jaw. It was like my safe place as we navigated through the hallways of what, to me, was a foreign building. Hidan seemed to know his way around just fine.

There was no shortage of interesting noises reverberating in those halls.

"Oh my god… I hope everyone is okay in there," I murmured, wide-eyed, as we passed one room in particular that housed a screaming person, set to the background of a rhythmic thudding of headboard against wall. "Sounds like someone is getting murdered…."

You would have thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever said based on Hidan's reaction.

"God, better fucking hope not. That's Kakuzu's room," he informed me, laughing his butt off.

I blanched and went totally slack-jawed, which was apparently exactly the reaction Hidan had hoped for. He laughed even harder. I couldn't stop imagining what Kakuzu was doing to make them wail like that. It was... not something I wanted to think of... but my brain often disregarded my personal feelings.

"I thought he was actually meeting an informant," I hissed.

"Heh, he is ," Hidan said, laughing. "Not sure what they're informing him of at the moment though…" he mused.

"If I had to hazard a guess? Probably 'legs don't bend that way'," I said, eyes wide at a fresh batch of stuttering yelps.

"Nah, those aren't cries of pain," Hidan dismissed.

"How would you know?" I questioned.

He looked at me like how dare I question this very specific area of his expertise. "Izumi, I fucking know ," he sneered.

"Hm, personal experience with Kakuzu then?" I mused.

He cocked a brow but didn't lose this grin. Yes, I suppose I was being a bit audacious. I couldn't actually see the two together, they could hardly stand to be in the same room as each other half the time.

Hidan snorted. "I'm sure he fucking wishes."

I snorted too. Hidan thought everyone wished that, though I wasn't so sure he was wrong. Nosing back into Hidan's neck, which had a strange sandpaper like grit to it, I pulled back to inspect it with a scowl.

How could you forget?

He'd slapped mud all over himself not too long ago in an attempt to cover a barrage of lipstick stains implicating him in a rather unfortunate way. Hidan's neck was so caked with the grime that it hadn't even washed away in the rain.

"You're filthy, " I muttered, glaring at it.

"Oh, baby. You've got no idea," he said teasingly.

Okay, now that was some low hanging fruit .

Yeah, I was kind of asking for that. Sometimes I made it too easy for him.

"You're welcome to clean me up, sweetheart," Hidan offered with a raised brow, stopping outside a door and pushing it open without releasing me. He was good.

The room was dimly lit and shockingly well-mirrored? Like, more mirrors than I'd seen in my life. It's like they all got together and decided this was the place to be. They were on all of the walls and even on the ceiling.

It seemed like an odd, but interesting design choice. I'd read once that mirrors make the space feel more open. That must have been it. The room did fare on the smaller side.

I only got a glimpse of the bedroom before we were in the bathroom though.

"Hang on a sec," Hidan said. He was twisting the dials in the showers, a spray of water shooting out. It only took a few moments for the steam to begin rolling off it. He played with the temp just a bit before turning back to me.

He was on one knee, undoing the clasps of my poncho, looking entirely too focused on the simple task.

"It's okay, I can do it," I protested but he swatted my hand away.

"Let me do this, baby. You're fucking freezing. I just want to get you in the shower first," he said, already halfway done. "Then you can do whatever you want. You can kick me in the nuts, throat punch me, seriously whatever you want, sweetheart."

"You know me so well…" I muttered, thinking about all the times I had done those things to him, that being none. He gave me a little sideways smile.

His fingers moved deftly and I would only admit inwardly that yeah, okay, I probably would have taken four times as long given the numb state of my fingers and just generally who I was as a person.

In fact, he was moving too fast.

The poncho was long gone and when his fingers began quickly tugging up my shirt, I tensed and grabbed at the hem to keep it down. He was so focused on just getting my clothes off to rush me into the shower that he hadn't really considered I might be the slightest bit uncomfortable with it.

He pulled out of his mental warpath, looking at me totally bemused. "The hell are you doing?" he asked.

I grabbed at my waist awkwardly, arms criss-crossing over my belly to keep my shirt down, thinking about how I wanted to phrase this. In the interim, I leaked out what might have been confused as a fart, had it not come out of my mouth. A bizarre, high-pitched whine from the back of my throat.

"It's just me, you fucking dope," he said, looking so confused it actually made my chest tighten.

He couldn't understand why I wouldn't want him to see me. He probably just figured because he had before, because his fingers had literally been three knuckles deep in me at one point, my body coming all over his hand, that this should not be an obstacle.

I couldn't blame him for the assumption. It seemed reasonable enough.

But that was then. That was before I'd been disfigured by countless scars running deep across my entire person. And on top of that... it certainly didn't help that I got a face full of the women he was used to.

I was not them. Not even close.

"Hidan…" I said softly, tightening around myself like a constrictor. "I… how can you even stand to look at me compared to any of those other women?" I forced myself to ask despite how pathetic it sounded.

Hidan was taken aback by my question, his head jerking back, brows knitting together. He scanned my face once, twice, three times. Just searching for what the heck I was even asking him.

He took a hold of my head between his big mitts. "You know what, I have a sneaking fucking suspicion that whatever weird shit is going on up here is going to take way too long," he said, shaking his head, "and you're too damn cold, so you're just going in with your clothes on. Then we can straighten your bullshit out, alright?"

He asked like I had an option, but he was already standing and lifting me into the shower from beneath my arms. I thought to protest, but the warmth of the water had me shuddering and immediately keening into it the second it hit me. I stepped directly under the spray and basked in the heat with a sighing groan.

"There's my girl," Hidan praised, as if accepting his care was any big feat. He stepped in behind me, his pants still on as well so I wouldn't be the only oddball.

My heart pitched against my ribs at those words off his tongue though. I wanted it to be true, badly. That was why it wrenched my heart so badly to see him there with that woman. That stranger .

"Am I though? ...Your girl?" I asked, sadder than intended.

With a tilt of his head, he looked down at me with a pained knit of his brows like he couldn't even stand to hear me question such a thing.

"That's up to you, sweetheart. My offer stands, shitty as it is," he said earnestly, vigorously rubbing his neck with the bar of soap, scrubbing away the constant visual cue that had me falling into jealous little pieces. "I want you to be… but, there are some things you should probably know… before you decide..."

Hidan's confident, brazen demeanor all but fizzled. The expression he wore was riddled with doubt, worry… fear . It was so strange on him, I wanted to put my hands all over his face and wipe it away.

I knew that wasn't really how faces worked, but I tried anyway, my little hands reaching up and smoothing across his cheeks gently. His eyes lulled shut at the feeling, a small, sad smile creeping onto his lips.

"I'm listening, Hidan," I assured him.

His eyes cracked open to peer down at me adoringly, that glint of dread still lurking beneath the surface. He pulled my hands off his face and held them, my fingers curling over his as he brought his lips to brush against my knuckles.

"And I'll tell you everything, baby girl, I swear I fucking will." He peppered my fingers in little apologetic kisses. "But first you're going to let me get you cleaned up, alright?"

Was there even such a thing as saying 'no' to Hidan? Certainly not when he was looking at me like that ...

There he was, insisting on taking care of me like always. I'd been thinking about that, how someone like Hidan could be the way he was, so rough... but also be so doting. I realized I was probably the first person he'd ever done it for... maybe it sparked in him some buried desire to be needed .

Needed in a way that went beyond the physical. It brought with it a different kind of pleasure. I couldn't deny the fact though, as weak as it made me feel, I did need him.

I was pining for the comfort of him and how it always seemed to soothe and envelop me, but before I could allow myself such a thing, I just needed to hear something from him, just one more time.

"Hidan… did you really not do anything here tonight?" I mumbled, feeling overly embarrassed and insecure in my desire to hear it affirmed once more.

I watched as he poured a pool of shampoo into his cupped palm, clapping his hands together and rubbing them vigorously. There was a certain relief in seeing him smirk down at me, an all too familiar expression that I adored.

"Not yet, baby. Swear to God."

'Not yet' he says… oh my.

That was… I guess I was okay with that answer.

"So how about this," Hidan proposed, raking his nails across my scalp in the most delicious little circles. I closed my eyes, still listening to him intently as my head wobbled around on my neck from the treatment.

"We take a real shower. I'm talking no clothes, lots of soap, the fucking works, right? Get you nice and warm, then we'll get all fucking cozy, cuddle up in bed and I'll tell you every shitty thing there is to know about me. Sound like a deal, baby girl?" He asked hopefully, pulling the hose off the wall and tipping my head back with a finger beneath my chin, washing the thick suds from my hair.

"Mm I'll think about it," I said lazily, lost in the comfort of what was happening.

Hidan chuckled. "Gonna be a lengthy ass process to get you all cleaned up like this," he noted, plucking at my sleeves.

Speaking of lengthy. Holy beans, would you look at that thing ?

As it turned out… Hidan was both a grower and a show-er, and the way the water soaked his clothes outlined his… you know… kind of really freaking bluntly through his pants.

I was absolutely fixated on it. My brain was getting gross.

"Whatcha looking at there, sweetheart?" Hidan asked, angling his head to meet my eyeline with a very knowing smirk.

"Nothing!" I squeaked, snapping my eyes back up far too quickly.

"Mhm…" he said, clearly not buying that. Not even on sale. "You know, if you want a better view, I could probably make that happen... but man, would it be embarrassing to be the only one naked… you wouldn't want that for me, would you sweetheart?"

I glowered at him and he just bit his lip, smiling.

"I'll go first," he said, not breaking eye contact, hooking his thumbs into the waist hem, dropping his pants in a fluid motion.

Hidan's physique never failed to draw the breath out of me. His smirk grew as my eyes inadvertently flickered down his body.

"Holy fuck, are you seeing this, baby? Look how easy it is to wash up like this," he teased as he began lathering himself up in some effort to tempt me into removing my own clothes.

I scoffed at first, like there was no way him rubbing some soap across himself would work on me, but I would have been lying if I said after a few moments, it wasn't doing things to me.

He'd gathered a healthy lather in the hands that worked over his own body, fingers splayed as they rubbed sweeping circles across his chest, down his abdomen, even lower over the muscular ridges that cut a V into his hips.

I thought he might stop there, but Hidan was truly astounding in his shamelessness. His palm roughly edged down to his groin and over the entirety of his length, strong fingers wrapping around, squeezing himself with a few languid pumps.

I swallowed, entranced as I watched him "clean himself". His low, deepening voice snapped me out of my stupor.

"Join me, sweetheart?" His chin pushed out, eyelids heavy as he looked down at me. This man was actually freaking seducing me right now...

I wanted to… I really did. But even so, I hesitated.

"Hidan, I… I saw the women here, and I'm having a hard time understanding… why you wouldn't have done anything with any of them?" I admitted, trying to find my focus.

He was listening to me intently as he absently worked himself with one hand and spread a swath of soap across his shoulder with the other.

He hummed thoughtfully, maintaining a lazy pace in jerking himself off as he spoke to me like it was as normal as breathing. It was taking every ounce of my mental capabilities to focus on what he was actually saying.

"To tell you the truth..." he said, trailing off with a heavy sigh, "turns out they didn't have the girl I like."

The way he said it, that look he gave me, it was pointed, alluding to something more. Alluding that maybe… I was that girl? Was that wishful thinking on my part? How silly would I look if I made that assumption and it turned out to be, like… Yumi Something-or-Other from down the hall?

"Oh… so… what's her name?" I asked hesitantly, my eyes trained on his face and definitely not whatever mesmerizing thing he was doing to himself.

Any time I dared to sneak a glance, I found myself wishing it was my hands on him instead, and it was leaving me with a burning pit low in my belly. We were supposed to be having a serious conversation here...

That arrogant, smirking mouth of his split broadly. It was obvious some amused realization struck him, it was usually the expression he wore when something went over my head and he needed a moment to revel in my apparently entertaining ignorance.

"Her name? Welllll, I don't want to blow up her fucking spot or anything, but... I'll tell you it rhymes with 'she blew me'... which isn't actually true, as much as I wouldn't mind it. Not that I'd ever pressure her, but like… if she wanted to, I'd definitely let her. Just for the record," he rambled on, amusing himself. Touching himself.

She blew me...

I-zu-mi...

Oh, that little…

"Hidan!" I scolded as if his lewd joke didn't entertain me in the slightest, slapping his abs like it would do anything .

"Mm, do that again," he crooned, grabbing my hands and pressing them against his… ahem… impressive abdominals. I swallowed.

"Hidan…" I scolded again with much less vigor. I guess I didn't mind so much...

"Mm, say that again…" he teased.

Okay, I see what he's doing here.

The man could and would make anything sexual.

"I farted," I blurted out, testing him.

"Mmm, yeah, do it again, baby," he said, his eyes rolling back with a dramatic flutter.

That little... I thought for sure he wouldn't be able to sexualize that, but somehow his voice was still absurdly sexy as he practically begged me to release another round of flatulence.

Let the record show that no farts actually occurred here tonight.

"You're really something, you know that?" I tutted, tearing my hands off him as some sort of punishment. It felt more like I was punishing myself though. I still wasn't letting my gaze fall too low.

"Hm, definitely not the worst thing I've been called," he said optimistically. Giving me a once over, he bent down to whisper in my ear, "So… what do I have to do to get you out of these wet clothes, baby? You're killing me here, I'm feeling a little hurt that my demo wasn't enough," he pouted, giving me a look that should have been criminal.

Oh, right, my clothes. My playful mood disintegrated in an instant.

"What's wrong, baby? Tell me what kind of fucked up shit is happening up here," Hidan said, leaning in to kiss my forehead. He dropped even lower to capture my lips in a sweet, reassuring kiss.

It made it kind of hard to think he would be repulsed by my naked body…I suspected that was the intention.

"It's just… I look different now…" I said, tracing a scar from my shoulder, down my arm. "You haven't seen me… like I am now."

He surprised me by looking almost relieved.

"God, is that all? Give me this…" he said, swiftly taking my arm and kissing the base of the scar that nearly reached my wrist.

His lashes collected water droplets as he planted his lips delicately against the fresh skin, moving up along the scar, pressing a pretty little trail of kisses along the way. He didn't stop until he'd reached the other end up by my shoulder.

"There… who's fucking next?" he murmured against my skin, not waiting for an answer before his mouth was dusting more kisses down the scars on my cheek and across my forehead. He caught sight of one on my neck and moved there next.

It seemed to get… extra attention.

Each press so slow, so deliberate. I found myself angling my head back and he whispered his praises into my exposed neck.

"That's my good girl…"

A shiver jolted through me as his hands came to fall on my waist like it might provide me some steadiness. It did, and I needed it.

"Mmm." A soft, satisfied noise fell out of me as he laid down his first blatantly open-mouthed kiss, sucking on my neck so very gently, his tongue lapping tenderly against my skin.

My breath immediately hitched at the sensation and Hidan responded with encouragement in the form of a light squeeze of my hips and a low rumble in his chest.

He hummed against me before breaking away. "I fucking love these scars, baby girl."

I didn't even have a chance to respond before he seared more hot, open-mouthed kisses along the jagged, pink trail leading down to my collar bone.

"I fucking mean it."

And another, lower. Even his voice got lower.

"They show you're a fighter, sweetheart."

Even lower yet.

"A fucking badass."

He had reached my shirt. He tugged it down to do one more.

"I think they're fucking beautiful."

I bit my lip, suddenly overcome with a surge of appreciation for how Hidan always seemed to know just how to handle me when I was in my head.

He was always so forthright with his feelings, sometimes it overwhelmed me. I was envious of him, always able to simply convey his thoughts, unafraid of rejection or judgement or anything of the like. And sure, those thoughts may have been brash and littered with expletives most of the time, but they were raw and real and that was more than most could attest to.

"I'll fucking do this to every single one of them if it gets you to believe me. Fuck, I'll do it even if it doesn't . I'm just fucking enjoying myself at this point," he murmured against my skin, unable to tug the shirt any further down without ripping it off me.

He looked to be considering it for a hot second though.

He let his fingers trail down to the bottom hem and lifted up slowly, watching me carefully for any resistance. He paused when he saw the tears, which I had to honestly commend him for, tricky as they were to spot in a shower.

"Tell me, sweetheart" he said, quietly pleading, "what do you need from me?"

I shook my head, swallowing down an offending lump before mustering my courage and just grabbing onto the shirt myself.

It hit the shower floor with a wet thud.

I stood there awkwardly, arms rigid at my sides from the effort of not crossing them over to hide my body. He looked confused but not at all displeased as his eyes flickered up and down.

I let my fingertips trail down his abdomen thoughtfully, touching him made me feel grounded.

"You're just so sweet sometimes, I don't even know what to do with you," I said through a laughing cry.

He let out something between a laugh and sigh of relief, apparently not expecting that.

"I could think of some things," he teased, smiling broadly. "If you ever wanted suggestions, anyway. They would be totally unbiased and have nothing to do with my dick."

Speaking of which …

Yes, he was certainly enjoying the view. That much was obvious. He was still very much at attention. I supposed that was proof enough he wasn't exactly repulsed by me.

"Hida- ahhn ?"

I was in the middle of scolding him for his brazen suggestion when he took to washing my body, starting with my chest .

It really wasn't fair how sensitive my nipples were when he brushed over them, allowing each finger to catch on the taut, little buds before rolling over them entirely.

"What's that, baby? Were you saying something?" He feigned genuine curiosity, but the tilt of his head, the push of his jaw, the darkening look on his face… all of it told me he knew just what he was doing.

He spread the soapy lather across my chest, gently squeezing and pushing together my breasts, eliciting a shallow breathlessness from me.

"You okay, sweetheart? I'm not hurting you, am I?" He sounded genuine again, but I couldn't tell if this one was real. That was something he might actually check in on.

"N-no, I-I'm fine," I stammered out.

"Mm, yeah you are," he mumbled, more to himself than anything.

He let out a quiet ' fuck' as he continued the gentle massaging of my breasts. His hands, slick with soap, glided down along the slopes of my sides until his fingers hooked into my pants. I met his gaze which silently looked for permission and I wordlessly gave it to him with a look of my own.

There were way too many clothes in that shower, but at least they were no longer on us.

"Baby…" Hidan said like he was somehow in pain, his voice held low.

"Yes?" I asked back eagerly.

He maneuvered himself behind me, hunching down so his lips teased the shell of my ear.

"We're not supposed to mess around just yet… Doctor's orders... and I don't want to torture you too much…" he said, running his hands across my belly from behind, gliding up to cup my breasts with a soft squeeze. "So I'm going to try really hard to actually fucking clean you… but don't be afraid to keep me in check."

I was instantly gasping as his fingers captured my nipples, giving them a long, rolling pinch.

My body jolted from the pleasure, pitching my chest out and ass back, grinding into him. He met me from behind with a press of his own accompanied by an approving growl, squeezing my nipples even harder to keep me keening there against him.

"Mm, are we sensitive, sweetheart?" he asked, punctuated by a sudden sucking on my earlobe.

"Y...y-yes," I breathed out after a few tries as he kneaded and tenderly pulled at the hypersensitive pearls held tightly between his fingers, earning an embarrassingly drawn out whimper from me.

"Holy fuck, very sensitive…" Hidan noted breathlessly.

I could feel how hard he was, pressing into the small of my back. I knew Kakuzu had laid down that rule to be sure no lingering internal injuries would be "irritated" by such an act.

You know… sex . That thing I did that one time.

I just didn't anticipate the rule being an issue considering the three of us would be sharing a room… plus Hidan and I hadn't exactly gotten into the routine of it before… but the former was no longer the case, making it easier for the latter to become the case.

My knees felt weak and wobbly from both Hidan and muscle fatigue. I cursed my frail body, though it had been plenty cursed without my help.

Hidan's hands were spreading soap across my belly when he paused. After a moment, he continued down past my hips to splay across the tops of my thighs like he was feeling for something.

He sighed, sinking down to one knee. "You gotta fucking tell me when you're at your limit, sweetheart," Hidan said seriously, pulling me to sit on his thigh. One arm wrapped around my back to keep me steady, the other continued to lather soap across the tops of my thighs… then the inside of them.

"Spread these," Hidan ordered, pulling my knee towards him. I grabbed onto his shoulder for balance, watching his expression darken as he slid his hand along the inside of my thigh. He stopped just shy of the crux before doing the same to the other leg, pushing me open further.

My heart skipped each time he got so close like that, internally urging him to go just a little further. Just press those fingers into my folds, toy with me, do whatever he wanted with me. I just wanted him to be touching me.

The soap had long been washed away, he was simply exploring me now and there was something entirely dizzying about that thought. My breathing upticked as I watched his hands like a hawk, continuously approaching and retreating along my thighs. He wore a beautiful, but pained expression as he also watched.

"Alright," Hidan said with a hard swallow and a pat of my leg, "I'm thinking you're squeaky fucking clean at this point, baby girl."

Before I knew it, he was scooping me up and toweling me off.

"Y… You're not going to…" It was a delayed response, my question coming as he carried me out to the bedroom.

I was in a stupor. He looked like he wanted to touch me. I had definitely wanted him to. I felt like a little kid who had their toy ripped away from them before they even got to freaking hold it.

There was a slight smirk on his face, something pleased with my disappointment, but also an obvious twist of his features that told me he was not happy with his decision either.

"Look, sweetheart," he began, flipping the blanket back with his foot and laying me down on the bed. He crawled over and climbed in beside me, tucking me under his arm as I instantly curled around him. "If you still want me after I tell you this shit… I will make good on what I started in there and then some, I fucking promise you that."

Right… I had nearly forgotten the situation. Hidan was here, at this place… because Kakuzu said so? Though he didn't do anything… but still, he had something important to tell me that he thought might change my opinion of him.

Oh lord, I was so not ready for whatever this conversation was going to be. I couldn't even fathom what he could possibly say to make me see him differently. He was Hidan. My wild, untamed wolf of a man. My loyal, steadfast guard dog, but at times, also just a giant lap dog in need of love and affection.

There was a palpable shift in the mood. Hidan fell sternly silent. He breathed in deep and released a sigh through his nostrils, his mouth too taut for even air to get through. I could practically see the mental process whirring behind the scenes of his face, gears crunching and coming to terms with needing to finally say whatever there was to be said.

"You know you can tell me anything," I said, mustering a brave face at the sight of his looking so off. His sudden serious countenance was putting me on edge, I wasn't used to this Hidan at all. He almost seemed scared.

His arm around my back and shoulder squeezed me against him as he tucked some wet hair behind my ear. He opened his mouth before shutting it again. I'd never seen him at a loss for words before.

"What can I do to make it easier?" I asked, stretching to kiss his cheek. "Would it help if I turned away from you maybe?"

"Maybe," he mumbled. "But first…"

He kissed me hard, holding me there for a long time, his massive hand spread over my cheek, sliding down to my neck and up into my hairline, fingers gripping at my roots. It was a messy, desperate kiss. One wrought with the sense that it could be our last. I both loathed and adored it, trying to pour myself into him in some attempt to convince him I was there to stay.

He eventually broke off with a series of needy pecks, not wanting it to end.

Hidan was usually transparent with his emotions, but I couldn't discern his expression as he regarded me so intently. He looked like he had something to say, but nothing came from him before shifting around. There were mirrors everywhere, so no matter what, I'd be able to see his face.

Still though, there was something to be said about the new position as I rolled over and he took to curling around me .

Despite our circumstances, I felt high off him, our naked bodies spooning so tightly, wrapped up in blankets. This was the kind of comfort I had only dreamed of. I only wished it hadn't been in preparation of what seemed like a very difficult conversation.

The outstretched arm beneath my neck came to wrap around my collar, clutching me against his chest by the shoulder. The other draped and dangled over my tummy, his fingers lightly caressing the soft skin there.

I cracked my eyes open to stare at Hidan in the mirror that faced us. He was doing the same to me. There was something so weirdly heart fluttering about seeing myself there tucked into him with his chin moving to rest atop my head, the two of us just one big lump under the blankets.

Such an odd pair we made. But it felt right.

"Is this better?" I asked quietly.

I was met with a strained silence.

Hidan's nose twitched with a sniff and his brows knitted like he was thinking very hard about how to phrase whatever thorny thought was trapped in his throat.

"I'm not fucking crazy," was all that came out.

He sounded less defiant and more pleading, like he just needed me to believe that. Or maybe he wanted to believe it himself.

I didn't know where that was coming from. I never said he was.

"I know you're not," I assured with a dull pain in my chest, bearing witness to his struggle.

This really was difficult for him. It was obvious. I could practically see the unspoken words bubbled up in his trachea, refusing to spill.

"Hidan… hey," I whispered, just wanting to capture his attention. After a tense moment, his eyes alone shifted to meet mine in the mirror we were both staring at.

It was such an odd dynamic, to watch ourselves have this discussion in such a way. As if Hidan showing this vulnerable side wasn't strange enough, it made the whole thing that much more surreal.

Fear was about right though, if I had to pin down what dark thing I was seeing in his eyes. Even from beneath the shadow of his brow, in fact, especially from beneath the shadow of his brow did it become that much more apparent. I'd never seen this look on him, nothing even remotely close.

"It's just me, Hidan… wh… what are you so afraid of?" I asked quietly, just wishing I could ease his anxiety but feeling helpless to do so.

His adam's apple bobbed. He licked his lips, shaking his head just slightly before planting a kiss into my hair. I could feel his lips frowning against me as he held himself there. He couldn't even bring himself to vocalize whatever thoughts were running amok in that beautiful head of his.

It nearly broke my heart. There he was, my barrel-chested, laugh-in-your-face arrogant, absurdly ridiculous man, reduced to all things solemn and defeated.

"Talk to me?" I pleaded softly, my fingers gingerly scratching back and forth across his forearm. He breathed, decompressing against me a little.

"Fuck. This is fucking hard. This is why I don't fucking talk about this shit..." Hidan muttered more to himself than anything.

"Like… with anyone ?" I asked.

"Mm… think I told Kakuzu once when we were drinking." The rubbing of his fingers against my stomach had become more nervous than tender. It wasn't bothering me, but it was a good indicator for me to gauge where he was in his head.

"Are you… scared to tell me?" I asked.

"...Yes." he said.

Hidan admitting he was scared of anything seemed like something akin to an eclipse. It was a spectacle so rare and you definitely didn't want to look at it. I was glad I was facing away, I just needed to avoid looking at the mirror, I think it would have broken my heart to see the face that accompanied his affirmation.

"You don't have to be scared, Hidan…" I coaxed, tucking my chin to press a kiss to his arm.

"I am. I'm fucking scared that you'll be scared," he admitted, exasperated.

"Wh-what? Of what?" I asked, confused.

"Of me," he said flatly.

I shook my head. "Hidan, please just tell me. The only thing scaring me right now is not knowing what's going on."

He sighed deeply and let out a pained exhale. "I know, I fucking know… you deserve to know this… you need to. I just... ugh. Okay. Here we fucking go."

And so he closed his eyes and held me there against him. With long pauses, many clearings of his throat, and the apprehensive starting and stopping of sentences, he poured his soul out. His strong features did nothing to hide the trepidation as he spilled his guts.

"It's not just me up here," Hidan said quietly, referring to his head. He sounded disgusted with himself as he admitted it. He told me all about them, the voices he heard. The ones that seemed to live inside of him.

The things they urged him to do, the people they urged him to hurt… or worse . He couldn't even look at me in the reflection, his mouth losing all signs of moisture as he told me I was no exception to that.

In fact, these voices, they seemed to hate me more than anything.

"Why would they hate me…? I haven't done something wrong, have I?" I interrupted him to ask.

He actually laughed. "You worried you offended the fucking voices in my head, sweetheart? God that's so fucking on brand for you it's hurts."

I huffed. "Well I don't know! I feel like… I've given them no reason to-"

"Yes, you have," Hidan cut me off bluntly. "You know how I've told you that you make everything quiet?"

I nodded slowly.

"I'm not being fucking poetic when I say that shit. You literally make them shut the fuck up."

"I-I don't understand… why? I'm not doing anything to make that happen. I don't think, anyway."

Hidan shook his head with a shrug. "Don't know, sweetheart," he said like there was also a 'thank you' in there somewhere. His lips were gentle as he pressed a kiss to my hair.

I tried to make him feel better by admitting I had a bit of a voice myself.

"It's okay, Hidan. I have one of those too, you know. She's really mean, actually."

Maybe you just have thin skin.

Hidan managed a breath of a laugh. "No… I don't think we're talking about the same thing."

"How do you know?"

"Heh… sure, we'll play this game. So, sweetheart, how many people has your voice told you to murder lately?"

"None…" I admitted, like it was somehow a bad thing I couldn't relate on that level. "She mostly just insults me or encourages poor behavior. She likes you, though… and yours don't like me."

Nope. They didn't like that I made them quiet, took away their control over him, even if it was just temporary.

He wasn't crazy though, he kept telling me that. That was important to him, that I knew that. It wasn't him that wanted to hurt me, it was them , and he swore no matter how loud they got, he'd never let them take over.

My heart ached at the pleading look in his eyes, like they were begging me to believe him as he told me all of this.

He was so washed in shame, his voice thick and constricted as he admitted these things to me. All I could do to comfort him was squeeze the arm wrapped around me and pepper it with kisses.

Hidan went on to describe the voices as many, but one . There was something about that description that disturbed me. Layers and layers speaking the same thing at the same time, some whispering, some laughing, others shouting, all on top of one another.

They'd get louder if he didn't do what they wanted. And somehow, for no known reason, I hushed them into submission. I'd be thinking about that for a while, curious as it was.

The only other thing that seemed to help him keep them at bay were incessant prayers and… stress relieving activities. Apparently Kakuzu would take Hidan to… well, places like this... to help keep him in check, especially when he was feeling high strung . Mellow him out for a little, make him a bit less volatile.

But Hidan claimed he hadn't been in a while. Not since me, he said. He didn't need it anymore, but Kakuzu wasn't buying it, said it was unhealthy for Hidan to only rely on me, especially given my constantly fluctuating well-being.

It explained so much, like how I had found Hidan out on those steps, the thousand yard stare he was driving into the surrounding night. He promised he didn't do anything, couldn't bring himself to go through with it. Apparently, he was just going to spend the night chain smoking on the porch, in the cold.

The pieces were starting to fall into place. All the odd little comments, the times he looked like he was wincing at a loud noise in a quiet room. He'd been living like this and just trying to manage it himself, keep it hidden.

It was heart-breaking to think of him carrying this burden by himself. Only Kakuzu knew, maybe Pain as well, and as much as I adored Kakuzu, he was a crappy person to rely on for emotional support. Hidan had truly been alone in this.

"So… you can't hear them now?" I asked, wishing beyond my means that I could take away the pain this was causing him.

He shook his head. "Not with you here."

"But they come back when I'm gone?"

He nodded. "With a fucking vengeance," he laughed weakly.

"I'm sorry…" I offered quietly with another kiss to his arm. He squeezed me back. "How long has it been like this? You've... had them forever?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Just a few years."

"That's when you..." I was putting even more pieces together. "That's when you became immortal...?"

"Mhm. Kind of a package deal. Sure as hell threw me for a loop when I first fucking heard them..." Hidan groaned at the memory.

"So you didn't know this would happen? It wasn't on purpose?" I asked, appalled at the idea that he was somehow tricked or misled into such an awful situation.

He laughed darkly. "I didn't know shit, baby girl."

"Oh, Hidan… I-I'm so sorry," I whispered, my lips against the pale skin like a wish to wash it all away.

All the pieces were finally together. I could make out the image in the puzzle and it was honestly just… so much sadder than I expected.

He sighed, staring at me intently in the mirror. "I'm not sorry. Every shitty decision I've made, every fucked up thing that's happened, it led me to being naked in this bed with you right now. I'm fucking fine, sweetheart. Trust me. You're the only thing I'm fucking worried about right now," he said earnestly.

God, who would have known he was such a romantic? I nearly dissolved.

Maybe I was stupid, a big fat massive idiot, but the only thing his confession made me feel was a stronger pull toward Hidan. He was finally opening up to me, allowing me to help him… not just the other way around. Any time I would try to take care of him he would act like he was fine, and it was obvious he wasn't, and now I knew why.

Now maybe I could help him.

"Hidan…" I began quietly, "is that what was supposed to make me scared of you?" I asked. My fingertips scratched gentle patterns against his skin as I waited for him to meet my gaze.

His eyes lulled shut for a brief moment. When they opened, they slowly trained on me. He wasn't just staring, he was searching , trying to see if I was putting on a brave face. I wasn't though. I didn't know how he thought I could possibly be afraid of him with how dutifully and thoroughly he'd cared for me, even with these voices .

"You'd be an idiot not to be…" he muttered into my hair, causing me to smirk.

"Are you calling me stupid?" I questioned. "Because I believe we've already established my brain is all I have going for me, so I sincerely hope you're not second-guessing me on this, Hidan."

His lips twitched into a smirk as well, enough to reach his eyes. I felt relief from that look alone, it was so much more befitting of an expression on him.

"I'll be fucking real with you, baby girl, I'm not gonna argue against you too much. I'm fucking selfish. I don't care if I don't deserve you. I still want you to want me, and I'm not trying to talk you out of it."

My admiration for the man currently holding me cozy against him swelled. Hidan did not let people see weakness or flaws in him. No, he was someone that would tank any hit to that face and smile after, pretending it didn't bother him.

But it did. He felt pain just like anyone else.

So I felt completely overwhelmed by the notion that he brought himself to tell me all of this just so he could do right by me, let me make an informed decision about him. About us . That meant… he was serious. This wasn't just a fling for him.

"Hidan…" I had his attention, our eyelines connecting in the reflection. "Of course I want you," I said softly, kissing along his wrist.

You would have thought those words were some sort of incantation with the way they seemed to cast a spell on Hidan. He squeezed me, his eyes lulling shut as he nodded. With a breathy sigh laced in relief, he nosed into the crook of my jaw from behind.

"Izumi… you're sure?" he asked, his voice low and quiet.

"I want you," I repeated. I was sure.

There was something about the way he was gazing at me that reignited that coiling heat low in my abdomen. I didn't dare blink as I arched back against him, wanting to press our bodies closer.

"Careful…" he warned, like I didn't know what I was doing. Like it was some sort of accident that my ass rolled into him.

Oh, but you know exactly what you're doing, don't you?

I did. I wanted him in every way. Screw the rules.

Notes:

Hidan and his theatrics... I tell you what...

Sorry for the length, people! I just really wanted to get to a good stopping point. I know it's been big angst lately as some shitty things have been happening... here's to hoping Hidan will take Izumi's mind off things for at least a little while :3

FYI- I will be taking a hiatus to get through the holidays. My hours are about to get kind of crazy and I don't want to rush chapters!

If I don't update before the New Year, I want to wish everyone a magical holiday season 3 love you all so much. Thank you for all the support to those still reading this thing lol. That's kind of crazy to me, but I'm glad some people out there are still getting some enjoyment out of this whirlwind of a fic O_o

By the way, any thoughts on what Kakuzu was doing to that very lucky soul? :3

Chapter 46: Finally*

Notes:

I'm not gonna lie guys, if you're looking for even a hint of plot, look elsewhere. 90% of this chapter is pure smut and it's a long fcking chapter. If that's not your thing, skip to the end, we'll return to the regularly scheduled programming next time :)

OH, also, there will be a NSFW sketch at the end so... ya know... watch out I guess :3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"What am I being careful of?" I asked sheepishly with another press.

He met me from behind with an instinctual grind, groaning low with a shake of his head as if to chastise himself for allowing the primal motion, or maybe shake out the indecent thoughts. I had to imagine he of all people had quite a few.

"You know there are things we can't do yet, baby girl," Hidan reminded in an unusual attempt at being the responsible one.

"I do recall something about that… but I think that maybe Kakuzu is being a little over-cautious. I really feel okay, Hidan... and I've kind of sort of really missed you," I pouted, trying not to sound overly pathetic but not trying that hard apparently.

Yeah, you sound pretty pathetic.

"Oh, sweetheart," Hidan soothed, stroking my cheek and staring at me hungrily in the mirror, "That doesn't mean there aren't plenty of things I can't do to help with that…"

Hidan was quickly shifting and propping himself on his elbows over me. The weight of his body, the firm, heated bare skin of his chest, and… ahem , other areas... against mine, left me reveling in him with a deep exhale.

He quelled it instantly with his mouth over mine.

"I've missed you too… missed you…" he squeezed in these breathy little heart-melting snippets between kisses, "... so fucking much… baby… you don't even know."

There was no allowance to respond. No, his pretty words were fevered between his mouth ravaging my own, leaving me no choice but to sigh and whimper my agreeance into his kiss.

Hidan took to dragging the kisses down my jaw, slathering them onto my neck. "I wanna show you how much I missed you, sweetheart," he whispered against my ear, punctuating it with a bite to my lobe, pulling at it between blunt teeth and summoning goosebumps to raise along my skin.

Traipsing down my body, Hidan took his sweet time in showering my scars with another round of open-mouthed affection that had no shortage of sucking and lapping, leaving me shivering beneath him.

Pausing at my breasts, he sighed, staring down at them longingly and drawing a finger along the small, rounded curves. "I missed these too."

Even in my heated breathiness, I found it in me to scoff. "You guys barely knew each other."

"Yeah, and who's fucking fault was that?" he asked, throwing me a playful, disapproving look. "Now I gotta make up for lost time, hope you're fucking happy."

Oh and I was.

Happy and gasping as his lips ghosted across my breasts, nipping at the hard peaks, pulling at them between his teeth, painfully slow to test my limits.

What limits? Hidan breathing near your freaking nipple seems to push you past them…

That was fair, but unwarranted.

My back arched almost violently as Hidan's mouth engulfed the sensitive bud entirely. I could feel him smirking against me like this was some sort of victory, his hand swiftly skating beneath me without missing a beat to hold my body up.

"I got you, sweetheart." He mouthed his words against me, shushing and coaxing me to take what he was giving as I squirmed and shuddered in his grasp from all the unfamiliar sucking, pinching sensations.

"Oh… o-oh God–Hidan… I-I can't…"

I couldn't take it. I tried to tell him. I really did.

I had no idea nipples could even be that sensitive.

But he shut me up quick with the rough lapping of his tongue as he applied the sweetest suction. It felt like he was actually trying to drink the heat right out of me, and he kept me pitching and melting like that, my chest in his face for I don't even know how long.

The broad hands splayed beneath my back forced the arch of my breasts to meet Hidan's face, my head lolling back to stare at the headboard. Though the hungry, encouraging noises and whispered praises bubbling out of him between nips and pecks and sucking made me so desire a view of this man doing these things to me.

Tossing my head to the side with a fitful noise, I cracked a bleary eye to notice the mirrors on the wall.

And you nearly forgot those…

I did. I was glad I didn't though.

I stared, enamored, blinking several times as I drank in what we looked like. There was something entrancing about it—spectating like that.

I looked helpless. Entirely at his mercy. My body wrenched against him in a strong grip, his fingertips curling, squeezing and dimpling my skin. I was delicate and pliant, being utterly devoured by this ungodly beautiful man.

My face was burning flushed and slack-jawed and a simpering moan leaked out of me upon seeing us like that. Something about it made me shake, sent a bolt of heat straight to my core.

I blindly pawed at Hidan, trying to get his attention, my fingers finding their way to his shoulders and gripping like I might float away if I let go.

"Hi-… H-Hidan…"

"Mm?"

"You're d-driving me... m-me crazy… I feel like I-I-m going to explode i-if you don't…"

"If I don't what , baby?" he encouraged, dragging his tongue over my breast and nipping at me once more as he lowered me back onto the bed.

I still didn't dare let go of him. "I-If you d-don't… touch m-me."

He grinned and I could feel him hard and twitching against me, clearly loving the fact that I found it in me to vocalize such a thing.

"Aw, but sweetheart, I am touching you," he soothed, his hands coming to brush over my cheeks tenderly.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, making a small dissenting noise in the back of my throat.

"No?" he questioned with mock confusion, "is this not touching you?"

For the man he was, with the strength he possessed, his hands were incredibly gentle as they explored the dips of my collar bones, the curves of my shoulders, the slopes of my torso.

He was toying with me, that much I knew.

"It is, but…"

"Mm…but that's not where you want me to be touching, is it baby?" His voice was low and controlled, eyes focused and nearly predatory.

I bit my lip and shook my head.

"Tell me where," he commanded.

"I-I… um… down…?"

He smirked, knowing as pathetic as that was, it was a marked improvement for me as far as sexy-time communication went.

"Oh… down here , baby?" He asked genuinely, rubbing my belly, his fingertips sweeping across it, breaching the line to my lower abdomen… but never for more than a flash of a second.

My breath caught the moments it did though, just in the anticipation that he might go lower. He watched me intently, soaking it in.

I shook my head, breaths growing even more shallow. "N-no… down."

"Oh sweetheart… don't tell me you want me to touch your pussy ?" Hidan questioned, biting his lip and pushing his chin out to regard me from above with those half-lidded eyes of his.

"You want me to run these fingers along your cute little cunt?" he asked, his fingertips edging delightfully low over my abdomen, but once again retreating just before they dipped too far.

I nodded desperately.

"Mm, yes, you do. I know that. But I want to hear you say it, sweetheart. Where's my good girl? My polite girl?" Hidan asked, eyes flitting over my face, fingers idly playing with a section of my hair.

I swallowed, gazing up at him and not having time to answer before he was speaking again.

"Let's try this again, sweetheart… Do you want me to play with your clit?" he asked, suddenly bringing his free hand to come slapping down against it with a resounding smack , drawing a startled cry from me.

It was so abrupt, unexpected, something that left my eyes welting… but not from pain . It left me panting, forgetting I was supposed to be answering his question.

His hand stayed cupped there possessively, grabbing firmer, shaking slightly, like he wanted to impart on me the intensity of his hold. As if I wasn't already aware of that.

"Hm? Did you hear me? Do you want me to toy with it until you come, baby girl?"

His hand peeled off me, and when I expected it to rear back for another punishing slap, it didn't. It patted against me, tapping quick and light, ticking like a timer as he waited for me to answer.

The pace quickened and the taps grew harder, frazzling me to spit out an answer as fast as I could.

"Y-y…. y-yes!" I sputtered.

He wanted his polite girl, remember?

I tacked on in a rush, "Pl-please! "

Hidan's eyes darkened approvingly, bringing the damp hand to cup my cheek as he planted a kiss on my forehead. Whispering a muffled "good girl" against it, causing my insides to swell at the softness with which he praised me.

"Think I can manage that," Hidan murmured, his hand glancing over my hip bone and further to rest on the mound between my legs.

Wrapping around my face, thumb beneath my jaw, his other hand held me firmly to look at him, commanding me to meet his gaze as he sidled next to me, leaning over.

Heavy breaths lingered in the space between our faces, his eyes tethered to mine, not making any motion to break as his hand traveled even lower.

Hidan's thumb roughly stroked along my jaw as he spoke. "You should know by now, I just like to see what this pretty face does when I touch you."

Large, nimble fingers inched down over my apex and gently pushed between my lips, immediately finding the engorged source of my tortured need, swiping along it.

" There it is…" Hidan murmured to himself, pressing a slow little circle against it.

My body jolted at the touch… well, tried to, anyway. Hidan's knee shifted to hold me down so the most I could do was writhe helplessly with a whine.

Not that I wanted help…

Hidan may have liked my reactions, but he didn't realize how incredible his were. He was so raw, falling apart over the smallest things, the heavy disbelieving breaths that tore from him, his brows pinching and begging for more.

"My fucking God, baby, I can feel how swollen you are. You really did need me to touch you, didn't you?" He was instantly breathless.

A strangled whine that sounded vaguely like his name fell out of me as I nodded in a very desperate way. Having any semblance of a vocabulary quickly became a thing of the past.

"Fuck, baby… oh…" His brows pulled tighter, eyes locked onto my face so close to his.

I didn't know exactly what mine was doing, but I knew I had no control over it. It flushed hot, my eyes fluttering as I stared back at him practically panting.

"So sorry I made you wait, sweetheart... Does that feel better now?" he asked, continuing the rhythmic pressure, eyes locking onto my every reaction so he could feed into the ones he liked the most.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Y-yes, there."

"Mm… very good, baby girl. I fucking love you telling me what you want."

Lip bit between perfectly straight teeth, he gazed down at me all doting and worshiping like he wanted to give me the world, but would settle for an orgasm instead.

For now.

Two fingers moved to dip inside me just the smallest amount, eliciting a low groan from Hidan as soon as he felt that warm, pooling desire, wet and clinging to his skin.

"Fucking hell... I can't believe how fucking wet you get for me, sweetheart… my good girl," he murmured, dragging his slick fingers along my slit, pulling more wetness out and spreading it so there wasn't a single spot he couldn't glide over smoothly.

Shaking and intense, it felt like I could barely take it, like I was going to burst or melt or I don't even know what . I squirmed beneath him as he continued to lean over me, holding my face still, his own just inches away and studying mine with breathless, gaping moans.

When he'd find a spot that caused my breath to hitch or eyes to roll, his fingers, so broad and skilled, would immediately go to work on it. He'd rifle off attentive little questions like, "Right there?" or "Just like that, baby girl?"

Even though he clearly already knew, yes , there. And oh, just like that.

"Hi-... H-Hidan…" I could barely get the name out under his relentless ministrations, that little button he was nudging was so very tender and sending the most excruciating shocks of pleasure to jolt through me.

"What's up, sweetheart?"

"F-feels… t-too good," I whined breathlessly.

His lids fell heavier, eyes darker, slowly shaking his head. "Oh sweetheart, not too good, nothing could be too good for you. You can take it, baby, trust me."

"I c-can't," I eked out, feeling like I might actually combust. I gripped him tightly by the forearm, nails digging in with effort to stay whole.

"Shhh shh, yes you can, baby girl," he coaxed, punctuated with a tender kiss.

A squeaking whine slipped out of me as he did something with his fingers. Rolling and pinching me gently between them, so slick and smooth.

"Oh that's it, sweetheart… right there, you just let me take care of you. Just breathe and let yourself go, baby girl. I promise I will find every fucking sweet spot you have," Hidan urged, his voice husky and laced with want.

Somewhere in the dredges of my mind, I recognized he was extremely hard and throbbing against my side. I wasn't sure if he realized, or if his body was doing it subconsciously, but he was less than discreetly rutting himself against me, grinding in the same rhythm his hand worked me over in.

My brain overloaded. There was something profoundly sexy about his loss of control and it threatened to undo me even faster.

But his mouth was over mine and the only thing I could vocalize was moaning feverishly into him. The sloppy, wet, incredible , rhythm he pushed between my lips grew in intensity and I could feel something deep in my abdomen clench tightly.

Breathing faster, pitchier, I couldn't even kiss him back. My mouth just fell open with heated breaths, but that didn't stop him from dominating my mouth, sucking on my tongue. I felt like I was turning to putty beneath him and I never wanted to be anything else ever again.

"Hidan… oh… y-yes… oh my God…" I was beside myself, grasping at him, so close and chasing that feeling, nearly there when he abruptly stopped.

"I'm sorry, baby," Hidan whispered against me in a rush. "I know how close you were… just hold on for me…"

He had released the grip on my face and was shifting along me, kissing a trail down the soft planes of my belly and even lower, causing me to gasp as I realized his intention.

"H-Hidan… wh-what are you doing?!" I trilled, nerves spiking my voice to an inhuman octave.

I tried to clamp my legs shut, but he was kneeling between them, running his hands up and down the tops of my thighs as he devoured me with his gaze. His broad chest puffed out with a heady inhale as he looked down at me, fingers in his mouth.

Of course.

"I need to taste you, baby girl."

I was a stuttering mess, my face a freaking bajillion shades of red. "I… I-I don't k-know. You don't h-have to… to do that."

He smirked with a tilt of his head, slowly shaking it. "Baby… you don't understand. I need to."

I could only stare up at him. It seemed like such an embarrassing thing... to have his face down there , but… that expression he wore. I knew there was no talking him out of it.

"Selfishly, this is as much for me as it is for you…" He was pulling off his rosary. "And sweetheart, trust me when I say…" the silver jewelry hit the floor with a soft noise as he tossed it aside, "that you are the only fucking thing I want to worship tonight."

That…

That got me.

It wasn't just some corny line. I knew that. After all he'd confessed, everything he'd gone through alone. The pain, the suffering, the helplessness and all the shame that came with it.

The weight of those words sat heavy in my heart.

Maybe he meant it to be sexy, but it was also his first terrifying step in rejecting everything he'd believed in.

Don't get me wrong though, it was also very much a sexy thing …

Hidan's face was settled between my legs, kissing along the soft inner curve of my thighs, his nails dragging up and down the back of them.

I pushed up onto my elbows to watch, entirely too nervous. The closer he came to my core, the less control I had over the tremors in my legs. Hidan's fingers went from grazing to gripping, his large hands easily holding my legs in place, pushing them back to spread me open.

A small, unsure noise whined out of me at the sight of being so very exposed, and Hidan glanced up to meet my eyes.

His face was really something else as he tore his attention from the view before him, entirely flushed, pupils blown wide, heavy breaths and softly spoken obscenities parting his lips.

"Lay back. Relax for me, sweetheart," he commanded, his voice low and earnest.

I must have looked as scared and apprehensive as I felt because Hidan's face softened further, his voice dropping into an even more soothing tenor.

"Baby girl, don't you fucking dare be worried or embarrassed about this. I have been fucking dying to eat you eat out. Trust me, this is the cutest little pussy on the fucking planet and it tastes fucking amazing." He dipped down and gave it the tiniest little kitten lick as if to prove his point.

That brief split second of his tongue hot against me was enough to melt away my concerns. It sent my entire body to jolt, hips arching up at the sensation, trying to get closer to him.

Needing to get closer to him. To feel that again.

"Mm... see?" he questioned, letting his lips drop dangerously close to me again. He smirked at the urging motion of my hips, like they could somehow sneak closer to him without his notice…

"That felt nice, right? You want more, sweetheart?"

"I…mmm…" I trailed off, nodding sheepishly.

He stared patiently, just the tiniest hint of amusement creeping into his eyes. I realized he wanted me to speak .

"...Y-Yes…" I murmured, lilting my brows as if to wordlessly ask if that was enough.

Hida's lips were still upturned, almost pursed, like he might just kiss me down there. His eyes didn't leave mine, nor did the smirk fully leave his mouth. I watched, my heart thumping madly in my throat.

Hidan slowly leaned in, stopping just shy as he blew cool air against me. The gentle stream of breath was a torturously light touch, and I immediately knew my answer had not been enough.

"That's about all that'll get you, baby girl," Hidan teased, the smile reaching his eyes, amused as he was.

I huffed in frustration which only split his grin more.

"God, you're so fucking cute." He took to kissing along my thighs again. "Try again."

My face burned red, I could even feel the tips of my ears aflame. Another huff. "I… Hidan, can I please… will you please… give me more…?"

There was that adoring face of his. "Ah fuck, that's my girl…"

Another little lick followed by a small kiss. It left me quaking, dying for even more.

Hidan was stupidly attractive looking up at me like that from between my legs, his fingers pressing little divots into the softness of my thighs as he held me open, coaxing me with honeyed words and an even sweeter tongue.

I nodded at him, my breath spilling out unevenly as I did as I was told, laying back.

"Mm, there you go. Just relax and let me bury my face in this pussy, baby girl, I fucking promise you'll like it. I'll make it feel so fucking good."

And oh, it did. Better than good, better than I could even begin to describe.

It started with these tiny little sensations, his breath against the swollen ache of my apex. Him just blowing against it again, not touching it. Agonizing. And just when I thought I couldn't take any more, my hips fighting to make contact with his mouth, he brought his tongue against me.

Tiny little licks. Lapping at me. Showering me with kisses in between. Some sweet, small pecks, others open-mouthed and sloppy, nothing short of making out with my spread lips.

My legs trembled in his grip as I gasped out his name over and over and he responded in kind by wrapping his lips around my pulsing bud with a fevered groan, sucking so gentle and sweet.

"Oh… y-yes… oh H-Hidan…." My fingers didn't even know what to do, they wrenched into my hair at the feeling, some desperate attempt to hold myself together as his tongue threatened to pull me apart.

"Fuck, baby," he spoke his words against my sex, not even able to pull himself away. "Do that to me, sweetheart."

I wasn't sure what he meant until he reached up and grabbed my wrists, yanking them down, forcing my fingers to bury into his hair. He growled into me and sucked harder when I clenched at his roots.

"Fuck… Harder, baby," he broke away to whisper breathlessly.

I felt like I was hurting him with how roughly I pulled at his hair, but the noises it drew were nothing that hinted at pain. His hands came around and splayed over my hips and belly to force them down and keep me still as his tongue flicked and suckled over my sweet spot mercilessly.

Without him to support my thighs, my legs fell to rest over his shoulders, my heels digging into his back. He told me to do that harder, too.

He told me a lot of things. Desperately whispered them into the cleft of my sex as he nosed along my slit like he was high on me.

"Fuck, you taste so sweet, baby…God, I want you to come on my face, please sweetheart. I fucking need it..."

I nearly lost it, my body so on the cusp of falling to pieces, edging up to the line as he worked me over and falling just short of it each time he broke to speak.

Hidan's voice filled with roughness, whispered and desperate. "I'm begging you, I need you to come in my fucking mouth, baby. Think you can do that for me?"

"Ahh… mmmm..." A trilling whine was the closest I came to words as he returned to rolling his tongue over me.

It was frustrating, but exquisite all the same. Each time he returned to sloppily lay down kisses and lav at my swollen little bud, it reignited an inferno in the pit of my core with renewed intensity.

"Oh fuck… oh this fucking pussy, my sweet girl... God, I'm so fucking hard from this, baby. Come on. Come on, sweetheart." His hands ran over my belly, smoothing across my skin, up and over my breasts, finding my nipples, pinching them hard .

I cried out, not in any pain.

He flattened his tongue against me, dragging up and down at a heightening pace. My fists in his hair tightened and I thrust my hips against his face, desperately chasing that burgeoning swell.

"Oh fuck, just like that," Hidan slurred into me, urging me to buck against him further.

Somewhere in me, some small part of me with shame looked on in absolute shock as I pulled him against me with a needy moan, riding my pulsing bundle along his tongue, spread wide and flat for me to find release on.

It felt like I was being too rough on him, my body too demanding as it urged against his mouth without restraint. I tried desperately to reign myself in, but he didn't seem to like that. Not one bit. His hands grasped my hips, helping me along, pulling me into him over and over.

Harder and harder.

I was so close.

My head whipped to the side in a fit, forcing open my eyes to see what we looked like in the mirror and– oh holy hell that was hot .

"Ah… ah… Hi… Hidan! I'm… I'm going to…!"

He growled deep in his throat, lapping against me, feverishly sucking and prodding me to continue the fevered roll of my hips.

He was desperate for me to come from this. The muffled, encouraging noises grinding out of him in place of his usual vocalizations stripped my nerves to nothing. I couldn't fight the surging feeling, my coil at the brink of breaking.

And it did. It snapped. It flooded me with ecstasy.

My whole body seized up, taut and shaking as I released a not-so-tortured cry. My fingers clenched desperately at Hidan's hair as I came hard against his mouth, just as he'd begged me to.

It hit me like a tidal wave, crashing into me, washing over me in a way that was nearly violent. I couldn't have even told you where I was.

The only things I knew in the world were Hidan's name, proven by the nearly unintelligible way it whimpered out of me, and that my fingers knotting into his hair were pulling out the hungriest, sexiest noises I'd ever heard.

I didn't even know how long that feeling racked my body until it became far too sensitive.

My thighs involuntarily came to clamp against the sides of Hidan's head. I immediately began stuttering out an apology as I tried to pry them apart, continuing to short-circuit, but Hidan's large hands came clapping against them to squeeze him between them even tighter.

It was impossibly intense, and I worried if he kept going like he was, I truly wouldn't be able to handle it. But Hidan always read me better than I even could.

I felt helplessly blissful as he slowly relinquished the intense pressure of his mouth just as it got to be too much, his incessant sucking waning and breaking entirely. He pulled my legs apart, pressing one last delicate kiss against my center.

As light as the touch was, it still shocked through me with a whimper, my nerves so unbelievably heightened as I reeled from the orgasm, breathing like I'd just run a mile.

"Holy fuck , sweetheart…" Hidan half whispered, half moaned as he crawled up over me. "That was fucking…" he trailed off, his eyes fluttering as he shivered violently.

I laughed at his incoherent review. "A-agreed..."

As Hidan's face hovered over mine, I took him in as just about the most attractive creature I'd ever seen. Cheeks warm, eyes soft and lidded, silver hair a disheveled mess with strands falling into his eyes.

The satisfied, nearly mystified, expression wrapped it all together as he shook his head, muttering, "Fucking hell, baby girl…" His fingers brushing the hair from my face.

"I'm sorry about… crushing your face… with my thighs," I blurted out though my breaths.

Hidan burst out laughing, forehead dropping against my collar. "Are you fucking kidding me? You could have fucking popped my head off and I would have kept going. I would have fucking walked in on Kakuzu to have him fix me up just so you could fucking do it again, sweetheart."

He'd wiped his face with a forearm, but I was still hit with the distinct fragrance of myself as he dipped in for a kiss.

"You wanna taste yourself on me, baby girl?" he murmured as his lips brushed mine.

I obliged with no argument, quickly finding out that was something I quite liked. He tasted like me, smelled like me. It was just proof that he really was mine... and I very much enjoyed that thought.

Flopping to the side, Hidan pulled me against him as his little spoon, sighing contently in my ear as he settled himself against my back. It was difficult to ignore the healthy erection poking at my ass, but I tried my best.

"Fuck… baby… do you realize what you've just done?" Hidan asked, sounding like he was just realizing something dreadful.

"Hm…?" I was still slightly in a daze, coming down from my high as I considered the question. "Is it… that I lost any ounce of shame I once had?"

The mirror was there to confirm Hidan's grin, which was very audible when he spoke. "Nah, we've got plenty of that to strip away still. Give me some time, you're a tricky one."

"Pffft… if you say so," I conceded, knowing he was by far the expert in shamelessness between the two of us. "Then I don't know, I suppose you'll have to tell me."

"Mm, such a quitter," he teased, rubbing my shoulder and kissing the back of my head, the side of my neck, nosing beneath my ear. Hidan was in full on cuddle mode and I couldn't get enough . "What you've done is ruin food for me for the rest of eternity. That's pretty fucked, you know? Literally nothing will ever be able to compare to what I just fucking ate. I hope you feel at least a little bit bad, Izumi," he scolded.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why does it feel like you're insulting my cooking right now, Hidan?" I scolded back.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Look, baby, all I'm saying is you got a gourmet pussy."

"Oh my God , Hidan," I groaned, tucking my face into his arm. " That was certainly a sentence…"

Hidan laughed, squeezing me tight. "See? There's that shame alive and well, and you said you were all out…" he tutted.

I peeked at his reflection. He was smiling, looking so handsome and sweet as he joked about the high quality taste of my genitalia. This man… what was I going to do with him?

There was a guilt that came with feeling him stiff against my backside though. I wondered if he was just going to let it fade? Thinking about how crazy it made me to get that worked up and not find release… I wasn't sure how he was doing it.

I racked my brain for a fix. He'd try to stop me if I made any sudden play to help , not that I'd have the gall for that anyway. I didn't exactly know what I was doing, just that I wanted to do something.

I needed to be slow about it, ease him into the idea. With my health and recovery at risk if we were to partake in certain activities , Hidan was being amazingly well-controlled… which was kind of annoying, by the way.

He really could listen, and even be obedient. He just needed the right motivation. But I was feeling well, and maybe… as good a place as it came from with Kakuzu, maybe I knew my body and what it could handle a little better than him…

Just barely, I lifted my leg and arched back so his length fit neatly between my thighs as I let them rest again. With how slick I already was and my thighs holding him in place, he slid right along my slit as I nudged back against him, cuddling closer.

The slow, satisfied intake of his breath let me know two things… one, that didn't feel too terrible to him. And two, he was going to have a hard time stopping me.

Pun intended, as always.

What I learned about myself was that I was no longer an untouchable amount of sensitive… just the regular kind that felt unreal as his erection rubbed over me. That and the feeling of him pushing so close to my entrance immediately pitted within me a feeling of emptiness, aching to be filled.

"Mm, did I not satisfy you, sweetheart?" Hidan murmured, staring at me intently in the mirror, tucking some hair behind my ear.

I rocked my hips again, looking for his reaction but being distracted by my own. So that's what my face looked like when I lost control of it… how very indecent.

"It's not that you didn't… it's just… it's different ," I pouted quietly.

He bit his lip, rubbing my shoulder, down my arm, my hip, across my belly, pulling me against him further. He was everywhere, warm and snuggling against me. "Different how?" he asked in that low, gravelly tenor.

I hesitated, unsure of how to say it, but there was really only one way. "I just… still want you..."

"Mm...want me how…?"

"I-Inside…?"

"Fuck… sweetheart…" Hidan suddenly sounded like he was catching his breath. "You know we can't," he pushed out painfully.

"Why not?" I breathed, small and pleading.

He just about lost all sense of control right then and there at the sound of that question falling so disdainfully from my lips. I could see it in his face, the restraint pulling his brows together and tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Baby, you know why… what if I hurt you? I couldn't fucking live with myself," he answered, tensing at the moments I managed to squirm in just the right way, and I delighted in the sound of his breathing against my ear, so harsh and shallow.

To feel him at my entrance, pressed against it, parting me open, but not pushing in was absolute agony . Kudos to him for his self control, but at the same time… come on .

"The fuck are you trying to do to me, baby girl?" he groaned into my ear.

"You won't hurt me. You'll be gentle with me, won't you?" I assured him, placing a syrup-sweet kiss to the forearm currently wrapped around my collar.

"Gentle..." He repeated in a rather endearing way, as if it were a concept so foreign he hadn't even considered such a thing.

The word came off his tongue again like he was trying to envision it, mulling over what it would look like. What it would be like. How he would do it.

"Yeah… fuck, baby girl... Of course I can be gentle with you," he quickly decided, evidently able to imagine it well enough. "But still… I'm not too fucking sure about the idea," he said, shaking breath, hips no longer as still as they'd once been.

His shaft slid over ev-er-y single over-sensitive nerve ending bundled outside my entrance.

Oh, it was driving me freaking insane . I needed to convince him to give in and I knew what it'd take, the thing he'd been pushing me to do all along.

Talk. Tell him what you want.

I breathed in deeply. I could do this.

"Please, Hidan… please ," I begged, shy and quiet, just audible enough for him to hear. "I… I know you can do it without hurting me, just... please… I feel so… so empty i-it hurts, please put it in..."

I think it was the most I'd ever been able to vocalize in bed before, but it was also the most I'd ever desperately longed for anyone... It didn't sound quite right coming from me, but it seemed like music to Hidan.

He groaned, lashes fluttery and head lolling back. " Fuck , that's my good girl. Are you seriously fucking begging for my cock right now, baby?"

I gave him a sheepish nod over my shoulder which only deepened the crease between his brows. Need and frustration fought over his features. He looked like he knew he couldn't stop this.

He looked so close to giving in…

He sounded so close to giving in, all breathless and disbelieving as he spoke.

"Didn't even… have to fucking tell you to… and here you are begging for me to bury this big fucking cock in you… is that right baby?" he asked, dragging languidly along my sex.

"Y-yes… Hidan… please, I… I've w-wanted this for so long," I admitted, trailing hitching kisses across the tensing muscles of his thick forearm caging me against him from behind.

"Oh fuck…" Hidan groaned. "Oh fuck, sweetheart, you don't have any clue… any fucking clue what you do to me."

"I… I can feel it." I was pushing my lips to spread around his length even more, grinding slickly along him with a needy whine.

Hidan's eyes clenched as I watched him in the reflection, conflicting desires still warring on his perfect face. "That's right, baby… so fucking hard for you. You like the feel of this big fucking cock rubbing against your swollen little clit, baby girl?" he asked, continuing his sliding little thrusts against me, leaving me to wordlessly moan an affirmation.

"Mm, fuck, you do. Just look at you…"

And he did. He took a silent moment filled with just our breaths to stare at the reflection, intently watching me unravel in his arms.

"What if we just did this, then? Would that be enough for you, sweetheart? I can make you come again just like this, I promise." He planted a breathy kiss on my neck. God, he was trying so hard not to give in, it was almost insulting.

" No !" I gasped out. It was preposterous.

The helpless noise that groaned out of Hidan was such a turn on. Like he was afraid of that answer because he knew it was his too.

"Hidan…?" I whined.

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Don't... you want me?" I whimpered, clenching my thighs tight around him.

His eyes rolled back as he released a long, drawn out ' fuck' amidst his panting, quickening pace. "Fuck, baby… don't ask me that. I always fucking want you. More than you could ever know…"

"Sh-show me? Please, Hidan? Please ?" I pleaded, practically sobbing with pleasure, though still wanting and hollow. Still needing more .

His breath was shaking as much as my legs when he brought his lips to my ear.

"Izumi… sweetheart… If you keep begging for my cock… " the low, undone tenor of his voice told me he was pushed to his limits. I wanted to shatter them entirely. "God… fuck… how the fuck am I supposed to say no to you like this, baby girl?"

"You won't... hurt me," I assured between breaths, knowing it was the only thing stopping him.

"You can't fucking know that."

"I-I'll tell you if it hurts," I rushed, desperate to soothe his worries.

He was silent for a moment and I closed my eyes, melting around him as his tip continued to edge over my firm, engorged little button, catching against the ridge of his head repeatedly.

"If it hurts, we stop," Hidan whispered against the shell of my ear.

My heart spiked. This was it. He was breaking.

"And you'll b-be gentle," I reminded, another reassurance.

He nodded against me. "I'll be so fucking good to you, sweetheart, I swear," he promised, giving my cheek a sweet kiss like he was already trying to prove he could do it.

"I know you will," I whispered, catching his earnest look in the mirror.

"You ready for me, baby?"

I bit my lip. I'd only done this once before and I wondered about how the pain would compare to my first time.

"Hidan… what if it hurts? It hurt… before. How will I know if it's normal or not?"

"Oh, baby girl," he squeezed me tight against him, pressing kisses into my hair. "It's not gonna hurt. I'm gonna go slow, and you're gonna open up for me. It'll be a perfect fit, sweetheart, you'll see."

He slid back along my wetness and when he pushed forward again, he shifted his hips, angling up into me just the slightest bit, just the tip pushing in before he halted.

" Fuck , you're so damn tight, baby…" he choked, rocking against me but not going further.

Even with just that small amount of him, I was already falling apart at the feeling, fingers gripping and digging into his arm around me.

"That okay right there? Doesn't hurt?" Hidan asked, continuing to kiss the back of my head, rubbing my shoulder, smoothing my hair, eyes trained on me in the mirror for any hint of something amiss.

My head was shaking before my mouth could answer, "doe…doesn't h-hurt."

"Feel good?"

"Y…y-yes."

"I'm gonna give you more, okay?"

"Please," I breathed.

The hand on my hip caressed me reassuringly before gripping it as his next thrust sank deeper. I couldn't help but whimper as it stretched me open. My walls clenched around him, straining to take it, cusping on pain but never reaching it.

Just pure, satisfying fullness .

"Hurts?" Hidan froze, asking quickly, voice spiking. His doting expression shifted to concern and I felt so ungodly deeply for him, just from the way he looked at me.

"No, no… no… no hurt," I assured, watching relief and desire wash over him once more. He kissed across my shoulders, biting down with scraping teeth as he pulled out slowly, pushing back in at the same drawn out pace.

"I just wanna be good to you, baby girl," Hidan said, breath shaking out of him, eyes trained on me in the mirror.

"You are ," I promised breathlessly, kissing along his arm.

"Fuck, Izumi…" he groaned incredulously. "I've been waiting for this… wanting this so fucking bad for so long… and baby, you feel…" he trailed off, apparently unable to put words to it.

But he didn't need to, his face said it all. It was full of disbelief, adoration, heavenly pleasure and reverence as he gazed at my reflection, and I his.

He looked so lost in me and not even remotely wanting to be found.

Hidan's usual crass vocalizations continued to ignite that burning pit in me. "God you're so fucking tight sweetheart, squeezing my cock so hard with that little pussy of yours. You're gonna make me come too quick, baby…"

"N-Not yet," I pleaded, not even knowing what I was really saying, just knowing I didn't want it to end.

Hidan breathed out a burst of a laugh. "No? Not yet, I'm not allowed to come yet?"

I shook my head with a whine, watching as his smile pulled larger with another wispy laugh.

"You're tough… but alright. Guess I'll keep fucking you since you're doing so good, sweetheart. I'm gonna give you more, okay?"

Yes, I was ready for more. He'd been so patient and tender with me, and he was right, even though the fullness was almost unbearable in a way, it was not pain. Nothing like pain.

His large hand held firmly around my hip as he plunged further, stretching me to the brink of my limits. I took him with a loud gasp, though not nearly as loud as the shameless, hissing groan he loosed.

" Hi-Hidan ," I sobbed. He wasn't even all the way in, I knew that. But the feeling of him hitting against whatever spot he found left me in tears.

"Too much?" he rushed to ask.

"No…" I choked out, "d-don't… stop…"

I was coming. Unbelievable.

Just from that one purposeful thrust, feeling him seated inside me after wanting it, needing it for so long… it hit just right and completely uncoiled me into a boneless, weeping mess in an instant.

"Oh my fucking God, baby." He realized with an urgency what was happening as I clenched around him and let out another sobbing cry of raw bliss.

I could tell he wanted to snap into me, pin me against the bed and hammer out my orgasm. But he flinched and paused, stopping himself, instead rolling into me slowly with just a quick jolt to follow. He fell into a sweet rhythm of this.

"Oh, just like that. That's it baby, ride it out on my cock, nice and slow," he breathed, kissing my neck, holding me tight against him and allowing his fingers to soothe over my body, all the while continuing the unhurried procession of pumping that had me stretching to take a little more of him each time.

I choked out something whining and high-pitched for his efforts, tears rolling down my cheeks from how inhumanly good it felt.

"Shhh shh shh, baby girl, it's okay. That's my good girl, coming all over this fucking cock, holy shit, baby. You came so fucking fast for me... you've been needing this from me, haven't you, sweetheart?" I could vaguely hear Hidan through my euphoria.

The steady, purposeful pumping had me unraveling in stages, the current one being an uncontrollable shuddering accompanied by a low, weeping moan.

"Oh fuck, oh baby girl…" Hidan groaned into my hair, losing himself further, one hand exploring my body as it shook. His hand mirrored how slowly he was filling me, gliding across my scarred skin before settling on my hip with a gentle squeeze to hold me in place and pull me onto him even more.

"Baby, I… I've never fucked anyone like this…" he rasped, breath hitching against my ear. "God, it's so… so fucking good… you feel… fuck… oh fuck, how does this feel so fucking good…?" he groaned incredulously, his head tipping forward with eyes clenched shut.

He was impressively lethargic in his movements, and with the yearning pace, I was forced to really feel every inch of him and pay particular attention to how my insides seemed to stretch and adjust just to fit him.

"Oh, you're taking me so well, sweetheart," he praised with a wet kiss to my neck. I thoughtlessly craned to give him more access and he greedily took advantage, sucking fervently on top of my rapid pulse.

"Almost… almost fucking there… almost all of me," he panted by my ear. "You're being so good, baby girl… can you take a little more for me?"

"Yes… please ." God, I sounded needy. But I wanted everything he could give me.

And with a breath catching in his throat, he let out a low, rasping groan of pure satisfaction and disbelief as he slowly speared flush against me with a shudder. He held it there, shaking from effort, the sensation of him attempting to breach my core tearing a half-choked cry from my lips.

"That's it, right there, baby. That's fucking all of me," he said, kissing the top of my head over and over. "Oh, my good girl… taking my whole fucking cock… I knew you'd do it, baby. Fuck, that's amazing… a perfect fucking fit, just like I promised."

He sounded so proud, his voice rough and whispering, darkened and heavy-lidded eyes focused on my wanton face in the mirror.

I swelled again, reviving the shiver that had just started to die down as I wrung out the last drops of my lingering orgasm.

"God… I want to see this face better, sweetheart," Hidan muttered with a heavy breath, hooking an arm beneath my knees.

He never pulled out of me, never even broke rhythm as he shifted to be seated, half reclining against the pillows with me in his arms, pulled onto his lap. He held me there with my side pressed to his chest, my legs dangling over his thighs to the side.

He seemed to be, for once, at a loss for words as he gazed down at me there in his hold. I lost my breath at the sight of him too, though it had already been hitching with each deep push.

Hidan was just… beyond beautiful. The thin ring of his amethyst irises and the knit of his brows painted an expression so lovely and soft on him, especially with his lips parted the way they were, hot breaths falling from them. It contradicted everything he presented himself as.

All the roughness smoothed away just for a moment.

I wished I could find the words. I was reeling for some way to quantify this feeling being dredged up with a flutter in my chest.

His fingers were on my cheeks, wiping at the tears.

"Not from pain, right?" he asked, withdrawing slowly from my spasming, tightly coiled walls before rolling up again with a low hum buzzing in his throat. It turned into a full blown open-mouthed moan when he came to press flush against me at this angle.

I shook my head, whispering out as many 'no's as I could muster. It was so far from pain.

"Does my cock feel so good it makes you cry, baby girl? Hm? Is that all it is?" he asked, brushing at my hair, clearly already knowing the answer but wanting so badly to hear it anyway.

"Y-yes…" I sighed out, lids fluettering.

He groaned deep in his chest. "God, that's so fucking sexy… tell me, sweetheart."

This slow, gentle screwing after I'd already come was making me almost delirious.

"Wh-what?" I eked out, trying hard to keep my eyes open enough to look at him.

"Tell me… tell me how much you love my cock, baby girl," Hidan said, eyes dark and pleading.

"I-I…" I stuttered and trailed off, so enamored with him I couldn't even focus. Those lips of his were full and swollen, surely from biting them with restraint.

My finger was against them, lightly tracing the edges. I felt utterly dazed–completely high on him.

He didn't stop me, he didn't even question me, he just watched me intently, curiously. His breath cast small gusts of heat across my knuckles and suddenly the urge overwhelmed me, I needed to be kissing those lips.

My fingers grasped at his jaw, pulling him down and pressing tenderly against the corner of his mouth before kissing him fully.

Somewhere in the back of my head, I was more than aware of the undulating rhythm of swelling and stretching between my legs still. I absolutely adored the feeling of him filling me so slowly, so sweetly.

"Tell me, baby," Hidan commanded, pleaded between kisses.

"I-I…" I began again, trailing off hesitantly.

"You what? You love this dick fucking up into you? You love how it feels stretching that pretty little hole of yours?" Hidan asked, grunting each time he bottomed out, prompting me, giving me a jumping off point. He was mercifully patient with me, pushing deep to prod me along.

I nodded, swallowing between shaky breaths. "I love…"

Another breath.

"I-I love you."

Oh my. That's not what we meant to say.

It was what I'd been thinking , but vocalizing was never part of the plan. Not after what happened last time I admitted such a thing to a man.

Hidan's breath audibly caught before he stopped breathing altogether. But he didn't stop thrusting into me, that got faster.

His face, the way it shifted at my accidental admission… it left little room for me to think it was something he didn't want to hear.

It dropped into the sweetest, most disarmed version of him I'd ever witnessed. His pupils contracted and blew out, leaving only the slightest ring of color as his eyes flitted across my face intensely.

He couldn't believe it. That much was obvious. That those words were just said to him.

That I said them.

"Holy fuck ." His eyes were unblinking and wrought with disbelief beneath his tightly furrowed brows.

His entire body tensed as he jerked into me.

"I'm fucking... coming ? Oh, what the fuck , sweetheart," he gritted out, shocked with himself.

His mouth had been agape, but suddenly his jaw clenched and the whites of his eyes crested as they took to fluttering. He wrenched back out of me and thrust himself between my thighs, clamping them together tightly and screwing into them hastily.

He brought his sweat-beaded forehead to mine. "Tell me again," he begged, his voice only a rough whisper and straining tightly through his orgasm.

"I love you. I love you so much, Hidan," I repeated in a rush, my fingers raking through his hair and holding him there against me as he finished.

Then the room was just both of us breathing loudly against each other's lips, our faces still pressed together.

"Oh, baby girl… fucking hell… what in the fuck..." he mumbled all sorts of things between his labored breaths, squeezing a little less than gently at whatever body part his hands happened to be on as they roamed across me.

I cupped his cheeks, bringing him in for a kiss which he accepted enthusiastically, his fervid movements coming to a rolling stop.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby," Hidan breathed out in a rush as soon as we broke. "Are you okay?"

"Wh-what? Sorry for what?" I was bewildered. "Y-Yes, I'm fine."

"For going harder than I meant to in the end… and coming in like four fucking minutes like some fucking kid."

"Oh, Hidan," I laughed lightly, pulling his cheek back to me, pecking at his face all over. "It was perfect ."

"The word you're looking for is pathetic , baby girl," he muttered, rubbing his sweaty forehead against mine with a sigh. "You just… you said that and I… I don't even fucking know..." he shook his head.

A moment of silence passed between us as we breathed each other in.

"Baby… sweetheart…" Hidan eventually said, his voice unusually low and soft, hands carding through my hair. "Did you really mean that?"

"Mean it?"

"Yeah… what you said…" he breathed. "Do you mean it?"

"That I love you?" I asked softly, trailing my fingers down the edges of his face.

"Yeah, fucking that ."

I shook my head incredulously, planting my lips on his again and mumbling against his mouth, "yes, I mean it. Of course I mean it."

He seemed to lose his breath again, swallowing hard.

"You're fucking insane," he said with a disbelieving laugh.

I pursed my lips. "That's not the usual response, as I've come to understand." I was only half joking because yeah… it would have been nice to hear it back...

Hidan laughed, cupping his hand against the nape of my neck. "I wouldn't know, never been told that before."

He didn't say it in a self-pitying way, more matter-of-fact, but that didn't stop my heart from aching for him. I kissed him extra hard, which he accepted happily enough.

Hidan broke the kiss but held me there against him. "You think I don't love you, sweetheart? I would fucking die for you."

I let out a sputtering laugh. "So that's what, Tuesday for you?"

He shook his head against mine and when I opened my eyes, had he not been holding me there, I would have reeled back from the deadly serious look.

"No. I mean it, baby girl. I would actually die for you."

I stared, confused, but he wiped my mind blank with another kiss.

"Don't worry about it, baby," he mumbled before deepening it, his tongue languidly passing along mine, strong and slow. He'd been so sweet and tender with me up until then that I wasn't at all surprised when he quickly took to dominating my mouth, not an ounce of restraint left in him.

I was content to let him overtake me, easily getting swept up in his fervor.

"Baby?" he broke off to ask.

"Mm?" I couldn't form words yet apparently.

"Has anyone ever told you how strong your pussy game is?"

"Oh my God, Hidan!" I cried, shoving him away.

Hey, words. There they are.

That was clearly just the reaction he wanted. His tongue was bit devilishly between his teeth as he grinned, rolling off the bed and staring down at me like I was the only woman on earth.

"Let me clean you up, sweetheart."

Yes, it was hard not to notice he finished clenched between my thighs, making quite the warm mess between them and on my belly. I stared down at it as he disappeared into the bathroom.

It was odd, I'd never really seen it before… you know, what came out… I touched it experimentally, dragging some across my belly, and after a moment, I hesitantly put that same finger in my mouth.

"Fuck, that's hot…"

I jumped, tearing it from my lips. I hadn't realized Hidan was leaning against the bathroom doorway, quietly watching me.

"You over there tasting my seed, sweetheart?" he casually asked with a smirk, pushing off the doorframe and approaching me with a damp cloth.

"I was just… curious," I admitted, feeling embarrassed and guilty like I'd somehow been caught doing something disgusting. Based on Hidan's expression though, he didn't seem to think too horribly of it.

"Hm, and what do we think, my curious girl?"

"It's… interesting. Kind of weird."

He snorted. "I'll add pineapple to my diet then."

I didn't know why he was suddenly talking about pineapple, but alright.

Hidan stood over me, straightening up as he held the rag before him like it was some fine cloth. With the professional cadence of a seasoned waiter, he asked, "Excuse me, Miss. Are you all finished, or can I take this from you?"

Why yes, he was referring to the ejaculate on my stomach.

He followed up, "If you're still working on it, I can give you a moment."

I half deadpanned, half bit back a laugh. He was having a hard time keeping a straight face himself, but was clearly committed to the bit.

I answered with a stern eye roll. "I'm finished. Thank you, sir ."

"Fucking excellent, Miss. Perhaps you'd like a take home container?"

Ugh. There was something just so gross about the idea of that. I pulled a face which Hidan seemed to enjoy immensely.

"No," I dismissed, "I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll have access to a fresh supply moving forward."

Hidan raised an approving brow, "Mm, that you will, baby girl."

He gave up the waiter act and wiped along my soft lower tummy and inside of my thighs to make sure I'd gotten the whole treatment, muttering about how beautiful I was throughout, pressing kisses to each part he touched like they were check marks ticking off what had been cleaned.

He sauntered across the room and I admired his backside as he grabbed a towel.

"Alright, baby girl, I'm going to get us some food," he announced, pulling a towel on and tying it around his waist low enough to display the defined V-cut of his lower abdominals.

Just a towel. Nothing else. That was unsurprising though. Hidan was always a bit of a showoff, and boy, did he have a lot to show off.

The man was truly unabashed, so of course he was going to wander about in public like that.

The thought of him leaving though hit me like a strong gust of wind, suddenly dispersing the euphoric fog my head had been swimming in. He must have noticed my nerves because he came over and crouched down beside the bed, eyes flitting across my still-pink face, taking my face in his hands and tucking the hair behind my ears.

"I'll be right back, okay?" He asked, leveling his gaze with mine.

I nodded at him tentatively. He was leaving me alone… but that was okay, as long as he was quick. This couldn't possibly turn out like Itachi again, right?

I told him I loved him. He told me he loved me… sort of. Heavily implied it, anyway. It was already turning out a million times better than my previous experience.

It would be fine. I would be fine. My broken, worrisome brain would be able to hold it together for a little, surely.

He cupped my cheeks, giving me a kiss, an assuring look, and another kiss before grabbing his money and heading out the door with a click behind him.

Notes:

THIS CHAPTER NEARLY KILLED ME. I apologize if there are issues, I literally couldn't look at it anymore. I don't even know... how that much smut... sickeningly sweet gentle smut... came out of me, and for HIDAN of all people. But it's what happened, so yeah, idk. He's not gonna rail her into oblivion while she's still recovering so I wanted him to be a lil sweetie, especially after his vulnerable moment :3

Is it totally corny for Hidan to come from being told he's loved for the first time? Maybe. Do I still simp that shit? 100%

Merry Christmas dears 3 I have missed you and I hope all is well. Still working on writing, but wanted to at least get this out.

Chapter 47: Enlisting Aid

Notes:

Happy New Year :3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A perspective: Hidan and Kakuzu

"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled over the gyrating, laughing, two sheets to the wind sort of crowd, peering down from the second floor and seeing his partner at the bar in the lobby.

"Oi! Kakuzu!"

Kakuzu finally turned around when he heard Hidan for the second time. He'd been hoping to ignore him, wait for the boy to get distracted by something pretty. It was a foolish hope. The kid was far less inclined to be drawn in by such things nowadays. To think, he almost didn't even come to Nightshade.

Hidan was grinning like an absolute idiot, looking disheveled ten ways from Sunday, so thoroughly and completely fucked based on the look on his face and his… attire.

What the fuck was wrong with this guy? Just a towel, really? Couldn't even manage some pants… though it was as unsurprising as it was unappreciated.

Ultimately though, this was a relief on Kakuzu's end. Izumi's entire ordeal had put too much stress on the idiot, and a stressed Hidan made Kakuzu nervous. Not for himself, not really. He knew how to handle the mood and scythe swinging boy, but Izumi stood no chance were his inner demons to become outer ones around her.

"Kakuzu, dude, hold up!" Hidan called out, flagging him down with a certain unchecked excitement as he pushed through the crowd.

Hidan was impatient. Almost a full floor up still, he launched himself over the side of the chipped oak banister after getting stuck behind a few particularly drunk and slow patrons, landing with a startling thud.

He had definitely given more than a few people a free show.

Kakuzu was one of them.

He clenched his eyes shut with a low growl, attempting to sear the image from his mind, the pulsing vein in his forehead competing with the one he'd just unfortunately witnessed on Hidan.

What the fuck was wrong with this guy? The question came up far too often around the kid.

There was no more wading through the crowd, people moved for Hidan. They gave a wide berth to Kakuzu as well, and the two men together were something of a sight to behold. They emanated a palpable kind of power.

Many of the surrounding men tended to steer away, but more than not, the women were drawn by it.

A few escorts, the ones that knew the pair, would trail their fingers down an arm or the muscles of their backs as they walked by. Neither of the duo seemed to pay any mind. Par for the course at this place.

They were both popular clients for… reasons.

They were also on their best behavior. Everyone seemed to be. If you took a moment to peruse the crowd, you would see all types, but it was a popular destination for shinobi in particular.

Everyone seemed to have the understanding that Nightshade was neutral ground.

Whatever qualms you had with whatever bastards there were, it was left at the door. The ambient red light flooding the interior was likely just a smart design choice, meant to make ninja feel at home. Like blood already covered every inch of the damn place, so maybe they could just take a night off for once.

"Hidan... looks like you've had a successful night," Kakuzu acknowledged, still a frost to his tone. Still trying to forget what he'd seen…

Hidan scratched the back of his head, not doing well to suppress the goofy grin threatening to split his face in half. "Mm, yeah, guess you could say that."

"Stop looking so happy when you're talking to me in public."

Hidan actively ignored whatever Kakuzu just said as he slapped an approving hand on his shoulder. "Walked by your room, sounded like you had a good night too. Guess you're not so geriatric afterall, y'old horny bastard," he laughed like it was something of an endearment.

"Did you need something?"' Kakuzu asked, looking to cut their interaction as much as possible.

"Oh, yeah, I need your fucking help, man." Hidan was casual and a little too presumptive for Kakuzu's tastes.

Kakuzu didn't even afford him a glance. "Pass."

"Aw come on you shithead, it's to do with Izumi though," he whined.

There was a long bout of silence punctuated with a begrudging sigh. "What about her?"

Hidan was in.

"These fucking voices..." Hidan started, trailing off with a wince. They were probably telling him to shut the fuck up right now. Kakuzu couldn't blame them.

"Are you planning on finishing that sentence?" The vein in Kakuzu's forehead was beginning to make its reappearance.

"I need to fucking…" Hidan winced again and slapped the counter, motioning to himself and Kakuzu. The bartender nodded and grabbed two highball glasses. "Need to fucking get rid of them, man."

Well that wasn't what Kakuzu expected.

Fuck this kid. Honestly, fuck him and his emotional fucking whiplash. Kakuzu didn't have the time or patience for ridiculous requests. He didn't know what kind of drugs the boy was on, nor did he want to.

Hidan's pupils were all blown the fuck out and he looked overstimulated. Even when he seemed to be annoyed or pained, there was still that stupid smile underneath. Kakuzu was seriously too old for this crap.

He just scoffed and turned his back to Hidan. His order would be up any minute now.

"Hey, you fucking prick, I'm fucking talking to you," Hidan complained, grabbing Kakuzu by the arm and forcing him to turn back around.

Kakuzu glanced down with a sharp eye, noting Hidan's grip on his arm. He'd become very touchy lately. Too touchy. Kakuzu didn't know where that hand had been, especially here.

Or maybe it disturbed him because he was pretty sure he did know, or at least had a vague idea, and he wanted to keep it that way.

He contemplated shaking out of Hidan's grip or even prying him off, twisting his arm until it popped out of it's socket. That would be satisfying, but Hidan would bitch about it too much. Wasn't worth it.

"What'd you take?" Kakuzu asked flatly, trying to determine which version of high Hidan was.

Hidan burst into laughter so raucous he had to hold his stomach. At least it got his hand off Kakuzu.

"Ah, you're fucking funny sometimes, dude," Hidan laughed, dropping some money on the counter and shoving a whiskey at Kakuzu before grabbing the other for himself. Kakuzu wouldn't say no, not to whiskey, though he did find the gesture oddly… thoughtful .

He cringed at that.

"Anyway, yeah, I need your help. I need to fucking get rid of these things," Hidan said, rubbing the heel of his palm against his temple.

Hidan was being insistent, just shy of obsessive. Kakuzu knew the subject wouldn't get dropped easily, not while he was like this.

Kakuzu sighed deeply . "Is there a particular reason you're bothering me with this now ? I'm not seeing what this has to do with Izumi." The cut of Kakuzu's words were dulled by the pleasant taste of the aged, caramel-colored whiskey lingering in his mouth.

As if on cue, the red-haired woman from the front porch came clicking up to Hidan, inserting herself between the two men so she could run her fingers down his chest. Kakuzu was fine with this, his food had just been placed on the bar. He began to devour it.

"Hidan, baby, you haven't come to see me. Is everything okay?" she half-asked, half-pouted, full-body ground against him. Hidan took a step back.

Kakuzu had to do a double take.

"Not tonight, Mai," Hidan dismissed, not particularly mean, but his disinterest was obvious. Kakuzu observed like he was witnessing an act of God.

"Aw, baby . This some new hard-to-get thing? Or does it have to do with your little stunt outside with that tiny slip of a girl? Surely she can't handle you like I can, sweetie." She was over-the-top flirtatious and what most would consider downright enticing . This was her profession, after all, and she was certainly a pro.

"Mai, trust me, she handles way more of me and my bullshit than you ever fucking have," Hidan said matter-of-factly. Her half-pout waxed to full.

Kakuzu stopped chewing. His eyes narrowed. The pieces were clicking into place. Hidan and his initial disinterest. His odd, enraptured state. This talk of ridding himself of the voices...

"What girl is she talking about, Hidan?" Kakuzu asked severely and Mai knew immediately she'd opened a can of worms, and not one she wanted to stick around to see how they'd squirm.

She slipped away as fast as she came, leaving nothing but space between the partners.

"Don't you fucking freak out on me," Hidan began defending, pointing his finger like a warning in Kakuzu's face. "She just fucking showed up here." He downed his drink, throwing his hands up like he was innocent.

Hidan, innocent? Kakuzu scoffed.

"She's still here now?" he questioned, narrowing his gaze at Hidan.

"Tthe fuck was I supposed to do, send her back home by herself? Her little chicken legs barely got her here to begin with, you shit-for-brains," Hidan bit back, incredulous.

Kakuzu ignored this question because Hidan had too much of a point and that was something he refused to acknowledge outwardly.

"Hidan... you fucked her, didn't you?" Kakuzu deadpanned.

Hidan tried to keep a straight face, which was honestly more than Kakuzu expected, but it was obvious he couldn't iron out that smile.

"She's fucking fine, okay? I know what the hell I'm doing. I was fucking gentle , swear to fucking God," Hidan said, glaring at his partner, silently daring Kakuzu to accuse him of hurting her.

Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering, "You fucking… idiot ."

"She was fucking begging me for it, dude. You can't seriously fucking expe-" Hidan got cut off.

"I don't need the goddamn details, Hidan!" Kakuzu groaned, loud and quick to prevent anything more from coming out of Hidan's big, dumb mouth.

Hidan grinned and laughed to himself. "Oh ho ho, I get it. The fucking details. That's good, man. Does that mean you wanted the non-fucking details? I could tell you about the shower, I guess, we didn't fuck in there," Hidan offered with a shrug.

" Hidan… " Kakuzu warned, fists clenching at his sides.

Had they not been inside the building, he would have already sprawled Hidan across the ground. There was that 'no violence' rule within those walls though, one that Kakuzu detested.

"Yeah, yeah…" Hidan waved off Kakuzu's aggression. "So on the topic of my fucked up head, you got any ideas on how to unfuck it?" he asked casually, leaning against the bar.

Hidan gestured to the bartender for another round and reached for a steamed dumpling on Kakuzu's plate. Kakuzu, not wanting it after Hidan had touched it, but also not wanting Hidan to have it, promptly slapped it to the floor.

Hidan laughed and grabbed another, resulting in two dumplings on the floor.

"Knock it off, Hidan. And I'm not fucking helping you," he growled, taking Hidan's drink as it was served and tipping it back in one go. He then took his own drink and did the same.

"What the fuck dude, I thought you liked Izumi," Hidan spat, not even noticing the theft of his whiskey. He ordered the round again with an impatient slap against the bartop when he noticed the glasses still empty.

"I don't like anyone. She's just more tolerable than most," Kakuzu clarified, annoyed anything to the contrary was even insinuated

Hidan snorted. "Fine. If you tolerate her so much, then you should fucking help me."

"Why? I thought you said she makes them quiet."

"She does… Well, when she's near me, she does… for the most part anyway. But when I'm away from her they get loud again, and they're always telling me to fucking… " Hidan trailed off with some sort of pained, exasperated growl. "Look, they just don't want her around anymore, okay? They don't like that she shuts 'em up. The second I'm not up her ass, they're all over me about it."

"I hope that's just a turn of phrase, Hidan," Kakuzu muttered.

With a playful grin stretching ear to ear, Hidan replied, "For now."

Kakuzu glared. This fucking kid.

The smile faded quickly though as Hidan had more to bitch about. "Look, I just… I can't keep going like this. I thought it might go away, or at least stay the fucking same, but it feels like the more time I spend away from her, the louder they get. It's getting hard as hell to come down from it, dude."

"You think you'll hurt her?" Kakuzu asked soberly, despite the alcohol warming his veins.

" I would fucking never. But God, do they want me to… and yeah, she makes them quiet, but there's this kind of… window? Like before she kicks in, ya know? So sometimes it takes a minute, and if they're loud enough… fuck, I just can't keep on like this, Kakuzu," Hidan admitted, deflating, letting a little bit of that raw desperation into his voice that Kakuzu had heard only a few times before when things were really bad.

Kakuzu scoffed. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know how to get rid of them, but you… you're fucking old , and fucking… I don't know, good at figuring shit out?" Hidan floundered, clearly struggling to compliment his partner while simultaneously needing his expertise.

"That's your fucking pitch?" Kakuzu asked, brows riding low on his flinty stare.

"Fucking… yeah. Yeah, it is. Will you help me already? You know I hate asking, doesn't that fucking count for something?" Hidan folded his arms, staring at his partner with an impatient tongue poking at his cheek.

Kakuzu took a long sip, holding it in the back of his mouth as he stared down at the glass, idly swirling the brown liquor to lick up the edges. He watched it a few seconds longer before breaking to ask Hidan a pointed question. "You realize you'd probably lose your immortality, right? I have to imagine the two are linked–that and the voices."

"Yeah, I'm not a fucking idiot," Hidan sneered.

Kakuzu grunted out a mockery of a laugh, still sternly staring at Hidan. He didn't believe him, not for a fucking second.

"You would really give up immortality for her?" Kakuzu pressed.

Immortality . Kakuzu said that word slower than the rest. He surmised it may have had too many syllables. It was possible Hidan's comprehension of it–and thus the weight of this decision–was fundamentally lacking.

"Yeah, I'm not a fucking idiot," Hidan repeated, digging his figurative heels in.

Kakuzu scoffed again, just the tiniest bit of approval underlying. Though saying it twice did not make it any more true. Hidan was still a fucking idiot and always would be. But at the moment, he was a dangerous idiot. More dangerous than he'd likely let on.

If Hidan was confiding in Kakuzu, that meant things were pretty damn bad .

Kakuzu had just gotten done fixing that stupid little thing–Izumi. If Hidan managed to kill her now in some petulant, uncontrolled outburst, it would make all his efforts a waste of time and more importantly, money .

He simply could not allow that.

Shaking his head at himself, Kakuzu knew he was also an idiot, because only a fucking idiot would agree to help Hidan. Yet there he was, doing just that.

"If you're really serious about this… I'll help you. But don't tell Pain. Don't tell anyone, actually. You're a prick and no one likes you, so you can't trust any of them to keep a secret."

Hidan raised a brow. "But I can trust you ?"

"I'm not doing it for you."

"Fair enough." Hidan grinned.

"Last time I tried to tell you what I thought of this 'Jashin', you tried to cut me down. Emphasis on tried ," Kakuzu reminded.

"Yeah yeah yeah, that's whatever. I'm willing to listen now ," Hidan waved off the distant memory. Nope, never fucking happened.

"God, Izumi really is a fucking miracle worker…" Kakuzu muttered with a cocked brow at Hidan's sudden compliance.

"Look, man, it's fucking… shitty enough that I'm asking you for help . Just fucking tell me what I'm supposed to do."

"I do have a theory," Kakuzu said. Drinks were back up, he took a sip. "Jashin isn't a God."

"Fuck you. Then who do I hear up here, hm?" Hidan asked, knocking against his skull with the rim of his whiskey glass before taking a sip.

Kakuzu answered short and blunt. "A parasite."

"Uh, come again? You mean like a fucking tapeworm?" Hidan looked far too grossed out for someone that ingested the blood of others.

"No, you idiot. I just mean your relationship with it is parasitic, with you being the host. Whatever it is, it keeps you alive because it needs you, it has nothing to do with your so-called devotion."

Hidan frowned at this potential, a deep crease forming between his brows.

Kakuzu finished his drink and let the glass hit loudly enough on the sticky, battered bartop to signal he needed a refill.

"You're paying for this," Kakuzu said.

"Tch, the fuck I am." Hidan folded his arms, puffing up his chest in defiance.

"You want to hear what I have to say or not?"

Hidan glared at an unwavering Kakuzu for a long moment. "Fucking A… fine ," Hidan growled, slapping money on the bar.

Kakuzu seemed placated as his glass was once again shining with beautiful, brown liquid.

"Here's what I think, based on my many years of experience, as you like to remind me like it's a fucking insult and then come to me begging for advice."

Hidan rolled his eyes and unfolded his arms just to gesture for Kakuzu to get on with it. Causing Hidan even just a little annoyance satisfied Kakuzu enough to continue.

"I think you formed some sort of… pact. A binding agreement with something that wasn't meant to be found. It could have been a failed experiment for all we know."

"What does that mean? Failed experiment?"

Kakuzu sighed. "Something shoved in a hole with the express purpose of it staying there. Look, people used to conduct all sorts of outlandish experiments. I wouldn't be surprised at all, given the shit I've seen." Remembering distant memories of such things made Kakuzu raise the glass to his lips subconsciously. Better to forget, even if just for a night.

"So, what?" Hidan questioned, growing increasingly perturbed. "Some old fucking relic not meant to see the light of day, and I just got fucking saddled with it because I walked into the wrong shitty ass cave?"

Kakuzu shrugged. "Maybe you were just the only one dumb enough to release it."

"I didn't even know what I was fucking doing and you know that," Hidan snapped back.

"Hm, I'm foggy on the details."

"That's because you don't fucking listen to me."

"I don't like listening to bullshit."

"I'll give you some fucking bullshit…" Hidan threatened to a surprisingly relaxed Kakuzu lazily sizing him up.

"Sit down. You're not going to give me any kind of shit," Kakuzu said, leaning back into his chair.

Hidan shook his head. "I can't stay, I've got Izumi fucking waiting for m-" he paused abruptly, his eyes snapping wide. "Oh fuck . Fuck, fuck, fuck. How long have I been down here?!"

Kakuzu didn't let slip any sort of reaction, but he had no goddamn clue what Hidan was suddenly going off about.

Between the several drinks and conversation, Hidan knew it had been for far too long.

He'd just hooked up with Izumi for the first time... he knew she was having a hard time with being alone, even outside of her fucked up little headcanon about how people would leave her after sex… How in the fucking hell could he let time slip by like that?

Oh, he could have just fucking killed himself right then and there.

He didn't wait for Kakuzu to answer, he just started pushing his way back through the crowd. Kakuzu watched with blank confusion as Hidan suddenly halted, ran back and reached over him in a rush.

"Sorry, but I need this way more than you fucking do," Hidan muttered, snatching the plate with one and a half gyoza still on it, whipping back around and disappearing into the crowd. He bounded up the stairs, taking them three at a time.

As he did, there was a flickering of the lights. The crowd in the lobby all simultaneously gasped while a few outliers giggled and cheered on the power outage. Another flicker. Hidan couldn't believe his rotten luck.

A moment later and the building was in darkness.

" Shit shit shit shit shit ," he hissed between his teeth as he flew down the halls as best he could in the gloom, slamming into several people and even more walls along the way.

It had to at least have been a half hour… which Hidan was aware felt like a lot fucking longer when you're someone like Izumi. She got so scared by herself that she fucking wandered out into the shitty town looking for him… and then he just left her there anyway?

What the fuck .

Hidan reached the door. A small part of him didn't want to open it. He didn't want to find out what would be waiting behind it. Luckily that was only a small part.

The bigger part of him whipped it open, nearly tearing it off the hinges. It was like he timed it perfectly with the weather, a massive lightning strike crackling through the sky, illuminating the room at that same instant.

He rushed in and nearly fucking lost it when he caught a glimpse of her. For the fucking love of Jashin… he should have killed himself when he had the chance, might have been less painful than looking at that fucking face.

It was all wrenched up with tears. Her eyes were somehow big and wincing at the same time and for fuck's sake, why was she so curled in on herself just sitting at the edge of the bed like that?

She was just balled up there hugging herself, staring at the door like an abandoned fucking puppy.

The plate hit the ground, he'd lost the remaining gyoza in the hallway anyway. Hidan fumbled with the oil lamp on the entryway table, quickly lighting it and rushing over to her before hitting the ground himself, dropping to his knees in front of her.

"Fuck baby, no no no, put these away," Hidan pleaded, brushing at the fat tears with his thumbs.

"Wh-where…?" she began asking before choking on a coughing sob.

She was trying to ask where he was. Oh, fuck him. She couldn't even get the words out. Fucking fuck .

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so fucking sorry baby. I just ran into Kakuzu and got a little caught up. Come here, come here, give me your hands, baby girl," Hidan coaxed, trying to pry her fingers from their impressively tight hold on the blankets wrapped around her tiny, shaking body.

Fuck .

Why did her shoulders have to be shaking like that?

Hidan wrapped his hands around hers and leveled with her puffy red eyes, visible even in just the lamplight and flickering storm. "Aw fuck baby, please please stop crying, I'm a fucking idiot, sweetheart. Don't fucking cry over me," he pleaded, squeezing at little the hands in his own.

She let out a sniffling noise that might have been an 'okay' but it came out sobbing and strangled. Far from okay.

"Yeah? I'm a real piece of shit, right?" Hidan asked, nodding in a way that prodded her to agree.

She pulled a hand from his grip and wiped at her nose with the blanket, inhaling deeply with a tremor to her breath and nodding weakly.

Hidan's face split with a grin. She'd given him an inch, it was time to take a fucking mile.

"I'm just the fucking worst, right?" He asked, his hands now holding the sides of her head, forcing her to nod enthusiastically.

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying," he encouraged with a laugh. "I was just a distracted little shit, baby, that's all. I'm here now."

"I-I know th-that… I-I'm just s-stupid… it was just l-l-like…" She was hiccuping and stuttering so bad he could hardly understand her.

Hidan was doing well to hide how frantic he was in his head, because internally he was an absolute fucking mess at seeing her like this, beating himself up for letting it happen at all.

"It was like what, baby? Tell me. Fucking roast me baby girl–whatever you need to do," he pleaded, squeezing her cheeks in his giant mitts.

"Like… I...I-I-tachi."

Oh.

Oh fuck .

Rock fucking bottom .

That's how low his heart sank. Hidan lost the ability to speak, the breath knocked out of him from the blow of her words. She couldn't have said anything worse.

He winced his eyes shut and cringed, pulling a hand down his face, releasing a quiet 'fuck', muted into his palm.

Hidan opened his eyes practically against his will, not really wanting to see that face she was making again, but knowing he had to make this right. Things were too fucked for him to joke his way out of it.

"No, baby… no… not like him . I'm not fucking like him," Hidan choked out, his conviction fighting with his guilt on a vocal level. "Never like him."

Eyes flitting over Izumi's face in the darkness, he studied her to make sure she believed him. It ate at him, the pain so visible in every crevice. It could have fucking devoured him whole, and he would have let it, too, if it filled whatever hole that fucking Uchiha had torn out of her.

"Izumi. Sweetheart. Look at me, look at me," he said, holding her cheeks, forcing their gazes to connect. He waited for her eyes to focus.

His voice was low, words delivered slow and deliberately. "I said I wasn't fucking crazy earlier, but I lied. I fucking lied, okay? I am fucking crazy, I'm fucking crazy for you. I don't give a fuck how fucking corny that is. I am head over fucking heels madly in love with you, baby girl. Madly. That's a fucking fact, alright?"

Izumi's face scrunched up even more at this, which almost startled Hidan. He was trying to get her to stop . Her shoulders wracked harder as she sobbed out something he couldn't understand.

"Wh… what was that, baby?" he asked, looking bewildered, brushing fingers through her hair, trying to make heads or tails of this reaction.

"Are y-you… s-sure?" she stammered, followed up by another coughing sob. Her tiny little fingers were grasping at his forearms like they were the only things keeping her from drifting off into the ether.

"Am I sure…?" Hidan repeated back to her incredulously. Izumi nodded, her face springing more leaks still.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fucking sure. What kind of fucking question…" he trailed off, shaking his head as he stared hard at Izumi. "Aw, baby girl…just come here..." he pulled her against him, enveloping her in strong arms, kissing the top of her head over and over.

Hidan choked in disgust as he soothed her. "God, look what he fucking did to you… I'm not like him, baby. I'm not leaving. I just lost track of time, sweetheart, but I'm fucking yours… if you even still fucking want me..." his last words came out more quietly as he considered the possibility that maybe she wouldn't want to deal with his bullshit.

He felt her shift in his grip, her legs and arms simultaneously wrapping around him, digging into his back to bring him closer. Her hot breath hitched against his chest with her cheek pressed flush against it.

Hidan breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed like a pretty solid non-verbal affirmation.

"Shh sh sh, baby, calm down. Breathe for me. Just fucking breathe for me, alright?" Hidan coaxed, smoothing Izumi's hair against the nape of her neck. She nodded against him, sinking into his comfort.

"I… I'm s-sorry…. I h-hate that I'm l-like this…" she whispered, broken.

"It's okay… you're fine, you're fucking perfect. I shouldn't have left in the first place. I'm a fucking moron, sweetheart. I've just…" Hidan breathed in deep, swallowing down the overwhelming wave of emotions setting his voice to waver. "I've never had anyone like you, or even fucking felt like this… so bear with me baby, I'm trying to learn fast for you. I promise I am."

God, he felt so stupid, like such an idiot for leaving her like that. No post coitus cuddle, nothing, just gone and for way too long. Didn't even bring back food.

"I-It's okay, I k-know it's just me," Izumi croaked against him.

Hidan continued his barrage of comforting touches. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. I'm fucking here. Don't give up on me, baby, I promise I can be good to you…I'll prove it if you'll let me."

He worried that was a lie. Something he intended to be entirely truthful, but a lie nonetheless. How many times would he accidentally hurt her like this before he ran out of chances? He needed to get his fucking act together.

"Baby?"

"Hm?" Izumi sniffled.

"Can I come to bed, sweetheart?"

He felt her nod against him and he immediately took her up on it, lifting her up and crawling into bed, situating her to lay against him, her head on his chest.

Her breathing had calmed and Hidan did nothing but shower her with affection, kisses, squeezes, pets, rubbing all over her body. He did this until he made sure she fell asleep feeling safe, protected.

Loved.

Hidan refused to be another Itachi to her, this woman he felt inhuman amounts of affection for. He couldn't fathom a world in which she didn't know the intensity of his devotion to her. She was the silence before the scream, the calm before the storm, the space between the lines.

Everything.

So he held her there against him, pulled her hand onto his ribs, her leg over his thigh, her head to his chest, and told her over and over again how much he adored her. Laced with profanities, he told her as many fucking times as he needed to until she fell asleep in his arms.

That was fine, though. He was happy to do it. He'd do whatever it took to make her feel whole again, to undo the mess Itachi made of her. In the background of all that swelling affection he felt for Izumi–all of it so new and frankly, fucking terrifying–there was burning hatred for Itachi Uchiha.

Hidan fell asleep to indecent thoughts of the delicate woman in his arms and fantasies of removing the Uchiha's eyeballs with his fingers.

Notes:

I am still diligently working on this with a hellbent resolution to complete this fic this year (still a ways to go...), and I hope to get back to regular updates soon! For today I'm updating all my stories as a show of good faith that I'm working on everything and happy endings will come in due time :) some quicker than others... hehe *sweating*

I adore writing Hidan and Kakuzu interactions and just how stubborn Kakuzu is in admitting he's fond of anything that isn't money haha. More of that to come as he's been working on a little something to give to Izumi :3

I hope you're all doing well as we enter the new year, love hearing from those of you still reading this crazy thing 3 y'all have my eternal appreciation. I don't think I could have pumped out this much content if not for all your hilarious and amazing encouragement.

Chapter 48: Not Early, But Still A Riser*

Notes:

Okay guys, so this is what I'm going to call "accidental smut". I had every intention of fading to black for this scene, but suddenly I had 3900 words. Not really sure what happened. I figure I'll just post it separate like this so people can skip over it if they want.

Content Warning: This chapter is pure smut.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Hidan and I were a lump of entwined limbs and body parts come morning, my nose nestled firmly beneath his strong jaw as I came to consciousness with a nuzzling sniffle against him.

My thoughts–while foggy and scattered for the most part–were pretty focused on the full-body warmth and comfort of waking up on him like that.

There were some vague notions of embarrassment, my meltdowns and all, and I'd give that more thought later because it was obvious I needed to get my act together. But for the moment I was enjoying feeling like a giant sticker that would take some serious effort to peel off Hidan.

The only thing I wanted to change was my current status of: buck freaking naked.

In the moment I wasn't so concerned with that kind of thing, but my modest tendencies seemed to return after a good night's rest.

Damn shame.

There was a very faint soreness between my legs that reminded me it was all real, and as I awkwardly rolled out of Hidan's grip and stood looking around the room, I came to one conclusion–he did not wear enough clothes.

"What's wrong, baby? Come back to bed," Hidan grumbled, cracking open a bleary eye.

"You know what? This really isn't fair." I was annoyed. I was ready to write a sternly worded letter. I would have, too, if only I knew who to give it to.

"Mm'what's that?"

"In all the books, the girl steals the guy's shirt to wear. It's all baggy and stuff on her, all comfy, you know? But you don't wear shirts," I pouted, rubbing my shoulders from the cold, but also in part to cover myself up.

"Mm… I see… I'll get some then…. Come here, sexy lady…"

I pursed my lips, squinting down at the adorably sleepy brute. "You're just saying that to appease me and trick me back into bed."

"Nope… come back to bed now, sweetheart," Hidan insisted with a yawn, blindly pawing at me and catching my wrist.

He was annoying but I couldn't help but do as he said, even with his groggy half-asleep state. I crawled back into his warmth.

"There she is," Hidan mumbled, pulling me into him and sleepily planting kisses into my mess of hair. "Mm, my girl."

He was the cutest. The most sincere, sweetest asshole I'd ever met. I returned the kisses in kind, spoiling his chest with them before nuzzling in.

"God… I could get used to this," Hidan whispered, pulling me tight against him, practically squeezing the butterflies right out of my belly.

"How're you feeling this morning, sweetheart?" His hands were all over me in true Hidan fashion, rubbing down my back, gliding over my bottom, his fingers finding and gently tapping against my mound from behind. "Feeling okay?"

I'd felt warm against him before, but the small, sweet little pats spiked even more heat through me. I breathed out heavily, relishing the comfort of being so wrapped in him.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Only a tiny sore, but it's not… not a bad sore."

"Sore?" Hidan questioned, and despite my face crushed into his chest, I could hear the disapproval in his voice.

I giggled, "yes, but it's fine. More than fine."

"Mm, need me to kiss it and make it better?" Hidan asked, his hand still notably resting between my legs, fingers now nestling their way between to stroke gently at my wetness.

His name fell out of me with a surprised, needy breath and I clung to him.

"Sounds like a 'yes' to me..." His voice was rough and whispered in my ear, and in a blink he was shifting, his face between my legs to make good on that kiss.

"God, so swollen for me all over again, baby," he noted, and not without heady approval and a mystified look as he appraised it with his fingers, rubbing it softly as if to comfort my pulsing want with the promise of release.

The arch of my back–violent and pitched–jolted through me repeatedly. I couldn't stop that any more than I could stifle the gasping noises huffing out of me.

His mouth performed miracles, the way it knew when to suck, when to lap, when to flatten against me and pull a long stripe up my entire slit–that one sent my body to practically convulse.

No matter though, Hidan seemed happy to restrain it.

He encouraged me to lay still and take it, holding down my soft lower abdomen with splayed hands, forcing the halt of my bucking hips. His tongue flicked over that oversensitive bundle of nerves mercilessly–breaking only to hush me, promise me that if I could handle it, it would be worth it.

Hidan was an amazingly talented man on many levels, but this particular skill of his ranked pretty high. If my sweet spot was a cherry stem tied tight into a knot, then he was the guy that could undo it with his tongue alone–quickly, with a smile. And he did.

I was so delirious with ecstasy that I barely recognized I was being moved. Hidan drew away and hooked his hands beneath my knees, pushing them back and spreading me open with a string of whispered curses.

I'd never get sick of the way those silvery lashes cast dangerous shadows over his eyes–darkened them in such a way that left me breathless in knowing his intentions exactly .

"Baby girl…" he trailed off, gazing down at me with those starving eyes, clearly thinking of all the ways he could get his fill. And fill was very much the right word. I could tell by the way his erection twitched that's what he wanted to do– fill me .

Stuff me to the hilt, push so deep until our bodies met flush against one another. And even then, jolt just a little deeper. Threaten the integrity of my insides and maybe even my sanity.

I got all of that from his eyes alone. As I mentioned, he was an amazingly talented man.

Hidan's gaze finally broke from the very inviting space between my legs, flitting to my face. I didn't think his eyes could darken any more, but there he was, proving me to be rather presumptuous, and better yet, wrong .

"Are you too sore for this, sweetheart?" he asked as I laid flat on my back looking up at him helplessly, his somehow angelic face framed between my limp legs being pinned in the air.

"No," I whispered, shaking my head, filled with the sudden and absolute need for him, and I told him as much in a stuttered, desperate way.

"Mm, fuck… " Hidan groaned and let his head tip back at the sound of my begging.

I had a feeling he'd enjoy that, but seeing his reaction was always better than how I'd imagined it. He was so unprocessed, every scrape of air hissing from his throat came from a place of undeniable lust and affection.

It seemed endless. I'd never felt so wanted, so needed–so loved– in my life. Something about that made my heart swell so impossibly large, and I needed him.

I reached out with a whine and he tilted his head, grabbed my hand, bent down to kiss along the knuckles like promises to take care of me.

"Love that my girl needs this cock," Hidan murmured, pushing his hips forward so his length rested right on top of me. "What do you want me to do with it, baby?" He asked, grip tightening and spreading me wider, making me feel emptier than ever.

He slid forward with a slow push of his hips, hitting against my bud, all pink and engorged from his mouth sucking on it so relentlessly.

"I want…" I began, my brain feeling overheated and foggy. He pushed his jaw forward in an encouraging nod. "Want y-you to… put… put it in?"

Hidan smiled, and God it was a beautiful one. "Aw, come on sweetheart, I know you can do better than that," he coaxed, letting my leg rest in the crook of his neck so he could grab his length.

I couldn't help but gasp as he slapped it repeatedly against my clit, rubbing the slickness dripping out of him all over it.

"I… I d-don't…" I didn't know what he wanted from me. God, I was so bad at this.

"It's alright, sweetheart," he comforted, "just ask me to fuck you baby. Be sweet about it, my polite girl."

Oh god. I couldn't do that . That would sound really weird coming from me.

"Hidan…" I whined, urging my hips up, pushing my hole against the crown of him and my god he almost let it happen. He dipped it inside for the briefest of seconds before pulling back out.

"Come on," he insisted patiently. "I want to give this to you, sweetheart, but you gotta tell me what you want me to do to you. Ask me nicely. Ask me to fuck you, baby."

"Hidan please… I want you… you to f–" I shook my head, it felt so weird. "Please... Please just show me you love me, Hidan?" I pleaded, feeling like I was going to melt right out of my skin if he didn't just take me.

His face did something so sweet and adoring, brows lifting as a soft little 'oh' fell from his lips. "Oh, sweetheart. God, you play fucking dirty, like I could say no to that."

He sank into me, slow and deliberate, watching me closely as my eyes fought to stay on him and not the inside of my skull.

"Shhh," he warned, stretching me even further still. "Kakuzu is coming down the hall right now. Better be quiet if you don't want him to hear."

" What ?" I hissed in a half-whisper half-moan, and he smirked, starting to pump.

"No, no, no, Hidan ," I begged with a squeak, barely audible as he picked up the pace. "I won't b-be able to be–"

"Shhh," he cut me off, bringing a finger to his upturned lips with a slow shake of his head, not letting up in his rhythm.

There was a knock at the door.

This was how I'd die, I just knew it.

"We don't need room service!" Hidan called out, as if he hadn't already felt Kakuzu's chakra down the hall, as if he didn't know exactly who that was.

"Hidan, you idiot, it's me," Kakuzu said, muffled in his annoyance. "You both better be ready to go. It's late."

Hidan's disheveled hair was falling into his face more and more with each thrust and holy hell did it look good on him. He stared down at me like he was thinking about what Kakuzu had to say, that smug, pleased look about the entire situation still plastered all over his flushed face.

Mine was much worse, as confirmed by the mirror with a toss of my head. It was also incredibly sexy to watch what we looked like from that lens, both of us bathed in the warm morning glow. Me being so small and pliant in his grip as he forced me open, plunging into me with very controlled, rolling hips.

I really was dying . My hands clasped tight over my mouth and my watery eyes begging for Hidan to stop, but at the same time…

Please don't stop, and maybe you could even go a little harder…

That spot. The one so deep inside. The one that, with each push against it, I felt like it might just kill me, and damn would it have been a good way to go? Yes, Hidan was becoming very familiar with it and he knew it.

"Ready? Mm, not yet, waiting on Izumi, but it looks like she's almost done," Hidan called over his shoulder, snapping into me roughly. The tiniest of noises were beginning to leak out of me and I bit down hard on my lip, pleading with my eyes.

"Well tell her to hurry up," Kakuzu complained.

Hidan grinned something wicked, having the time of his life with this clearly . "Sure," he called out to Kakuzu before dropping his gaze directly on me. "You heard him, baby. Come on. You're almost finished aren't you?"

What the heck ?! Now he was talking to me–loudly and casually –as if I could possibly muster an answer back with any reasonable cadence.

The effort of keeping every hitching cry inside me was excruciating as the crown of him prodded me mercilessly towards the edge. My whole body was both rigid and shaking with restraint.

Hidan cocked a brow at me, sweat beading above it, prompting me to answer him before Kakuzu started to question my silence.

My fingers trembled their way from my mouth to my hair, fisting their way into it. What had he even asked me? Was I almost finished?

"Y-" Good lord, I sounded like a squeaking mouse on my first attempt. I steeled myself, swallowing, focusing on dropping to a semi-normal octave. Oh but it was so hard, because–ah… God… he was really making himself fit.

"Yes, a-almost." And I almost said it kind of okay…

Hidan's expression was sweetly amused, despite how very evil he was being, and he nodded, mouthing a barely-whisper of those words "good girl" to me.

They spiked straight into my heat as they always did, and I strained to keep in the puffing moans that caught in my throat.

"Good. We have a schedule to keep." Kakuzu was talking but I was barely listening, not over the blood rushing in my own ears, pounding in them almost as hard as it throbbed between my legs.

"Well, sweetheart, maybe I can help," Hidan offered indiscreetly for Kakuzu to hear, as if he were offering to zip up the back of a dress or something.

He ran his tongue over his fingers before bringing them to my aching core, my eyes shooting wide at the sensation.

The rough, stretching intrusion of him inside me, now coupled with the vibrating pressure of his fingers quickly sweeping over my clit, was more than I could handle. It was white hot and searing, hurdling me into a sea of bright spots dancing in my vision.

He didn't relent, he only bucked faster, only swiped the pads of his fingers over me quicker. Oh, I couldn't take it. My mouth–hanging open in a silent scream–suddenly felt the slap of a hand on top of it. A strong one, huge and warm against my face, pushing down whatever was about to burst out of me.

I couldn't see anything, eyes wrenched shut as they were, every nerve ending ablaze as the orgasm shook through me. I only knew that my ankles were at Hidan's shoulders as he ground into me and even those seemed to go numb with pleasure.

I distantly recognized Hidan was speaking.

"Alright. Lookin' like she's all set! I'm just gonna shower and then we'll be down if you wanna wait in the lobby," Hidan said, massively pleased with himself.

"You haven't even fucking showered yet?" Kakuzu grumbled, more to himself than anything as he began trudging away. "Make it quick."

My fingers twisted into the sheets, body twitching sporadically as Hidan finally eased his touch. His lips quickly replaced the hand atop my mouth, and I finally let out what was only a ghost of all the moans that died in my throat. It was needy and decompressed, and my fingers found their way into Hidan's hair which he seemed to enjoy greatly.

"You're terrible," I breathed, body still dealing with some residual hitching and shuddering and the fact that he was still in me. I smoothed over his hair and brought him into the crook of my neck.

He laughed, grinning against me, pecking at my collar bones tenderly. "Fuck yeah, I am. Filthy, too. Help me clean up, sweetheart?"

It was a question, but I didn't actually have a choice, not that I honestly wanted one. He lifted me up, never pulling out, walking us to the bathroom like that with his hands secured firmly around my back and under my ass. It was distinctly possible our tongues were just the slightest bit entwined as we made our way there.

A spray of water. The press of my back against the cold tile. Hidan speared into me against the shower wall, the water warming against us. His fingers dug into the soft bottoms of my thighs to hold me up.

I clung to him, arms wrapped around his shoulders, head tossed back against the wall. The muscular flat of him just above his shaft came crushing against sensitive nerves with that spiking pressure each thrust, and had me quickly melting in his hold.

"You're gonna make me come baby…" Hidan rasped over the persistent sound of wet slapping.

I moaned his name, moaned a lot of things–mostly my love and affection for him–and shockingly, out of everything in the world, that seemed to be the thing that did it for this man.

"Fuck," he groaned, tearing out of me and hurriedly setting me to stand.

"Hurry, sweetheart, on your knees," he whispered in a rush, pushing down on my shoulder while stroking himself.

I rushed to oblige, dropping to my knees in front of him, likely looking very confused as I did so.

"Oh fuck, look at you," Hidan said, breathless and hooking a finger beneath my chin to angle my face up towards him.

I had quite the sight. Hidan's back blocked the spray of the shower. He was feverishly jerking himself inches from my face, rivulets of water running over his pale, perfect body as he looked down at me like he was so far beyond enamored.

"Close your eyes baby girl, I'm gonna come on your face," he directed, voice strained. He was clearly about to burst and doing everything in his power to stave the swell.

I did as he said, closing my eyes, and in addition to that, I found my jaw slackening, mouth hanging ajar. I wasn't sure why I did that, it wasn't really much of a thought at all, but I was glad I did.

He lost his mind over it.

"Holy fu–Izumi…oh God, that's my good girl, wanting my fuckin–"

The pinched groan grinding out of him stifled whatever he was going to say. Bursts of thick heat splattered onto my cheeks, my chin, my lips, into my mouth, and I stayed like that, kneeling there with my hands splayed over his thighs until those shameless noises stopped filling the room.

Cracking open an eye, then the other, I took a moment to take him in, so strong and confident, chest heaving with breathlessness, still gripping himself very near my face. Those amethyst eyes stared down, adoring in the way they softened on me.

Hidan stopped me from closing my mouth which still hung open. "Not yet, baby. Need your help cleaning up, remember?"

The breath caught in my throat as I realized what he meant. He'd positioned the head of his length just a hair away from my lips. Any closer and it would have been in my mouth.

Though I suspected that was the idea.

Looking up at him, unsure, his head gave a sweet little tilt and his hand dropped to the back of my head, gently folding into my hair.

"Don't worry baby, just open up and I'll feed it to you," he soothed, his other hand grabbing my jaw and pulling it open more as he lined himself up and pushed his hips forward, pressing his crown past my lips with a sharp, hissing, intake of breath.

Whatever fear I had of taking him in my mouth, like maybe I wouldn't be good at it, was instantly quelled with the fluttering, unhinged face he made as I closed my lips around him.

"Fuck yes… my cock is in your fucking mouth… fuck. I just gotta say it out loud since it doesn't feel real. Just gotta… gotta make sure it is. Oh, that's fucking good…"

He sounded and looked like he was losing what was left of his mind as he held me there by the cheeks and back of my head, lazily rocking into my mouth the smallest amount. At first I worried about him pushing too far in, but he seemed perfectly content to let me just suck on the tip, as he said, to clean it off.

"Mm, swirl your tongue around it baby, make sure you get it all," he groaned, unable to close his mouth as he watched, and I delighted in the tremor I felt shiver up his thighs from his knees.

I was happy to run my tongue along him however he wanted, finding that he was extra sensitive at the soft patch of skin just on the underside of the tip. Hidan spit out a string of curses, his fingers tightening in my hair as I paid special attention to that spot, laving at it tenderly.

More shivers.

It didn't last long. He yanked out of me with a popping noise, muttering something about being too much, and I had to smirk at the tables finally being turned.

"That's plenty baby," he assured, lifting me to my feet. "Keep going like that and you're gonna suck whatever pathetic excuse of a soul I have right out of me."

Couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Kakuzu will probably kill us if we take much longer anyway," I noted.

Hidan maneuvered me into the stream of water and began cleaning off my face. "Kakuzu can eat a dick for all I care."

"You shouldn't say things like that," I scolded. "He's your partner and even though he's not good at showing it, I do think he cares, and he does mean well."

"You're right, he is mean. Good point, baby," Hidan mused, working up quite the lather in my hair.

I deadpanned. "Hidan, you can't just pick whatever word you want out of an entire sentence and ignore the rest."

"Mm, ignore the rest, got it." He was grinning like an idiot and I didn't have it in me to pretend he didn't make me laugh.

"I know we're hitting the road a bit late," Hidan admitted. "But I needed you to know that I wasn't a one-and-done kind of guy. You do know that, right sweetheart?"

I looked up at him and very nearly went boneless at the earnest look he was giving me from beneath a mound of soap suds.

"Yeah, I know," I said, hushed and low as I pushed up onto my toes and went in for a kiss, adding at the last second, "I'm not either."

He snorted into it, hands traveling to slap my ass and cup my cheeks. "No? You're not that kind of guy?"

I smiled against his wonderfully dominating lips. "Nope."

We tried to be quick about the rest of the shower, but it was hard when I kept thinking about how sweet he was, because every time it occurred to me, I had to kiss him. And every time I kissed him, he had to kiss me back, and sometimes more.

Hidan insisted that boob honking was therapeutic and helped with his condition. On the off chance that was actually true, I allowed it.

It was a distinct possibility that we were only delaying the inevitable though. That being, dealing with a very grumpy Kakuzu waiting for us down in the lobby.

Grumpy was an understatement.

Notes:

Like I said, this whole thing was a whoopsie. I almost didn't post it as I don't think it's that great (not that I think my other stuff is much better *sweating*) but I figure if even one person likes it, then hey it's worth it.

I think I ended up writing more than intended because yeah, it would have been a priority of Hidan's to make sure Izumi knew he was 100% interested in continuing to fuck her, unlike her experience with Itachi, so that felt kind of important? Idk.

Anyway. Sorry lol.

Chapter 49: Family Reunion

Notes:

I will warn you guys, I made some doodles for this one. I've been told one of them, which I will leave at the end, is "very disturbing" and "why". So there's your warning.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Uh oh. Does he look angrier than usual? I think he looks angrier than usual." I nervously shifted to walk with Hidan in front of me–my immortal human shield.

Ah, the perks of dating an ageless, deathless, hunk.

Oh lord. Hidan was kind of my boyfriend now, wasn't he?

Now that was weird to think about. It seemed surreal. Me being… well, me . And him being this statuesque muscle man with a perfect smile and face and pretty much everything including his incredible ability to handle me at my worst.

"Relax, he ain't gonna do shit," Hidan assured, reaching back to grab my hand and pull me alongside him, lacing our fingers together. It was so natural for him, all one fluid motion, and I couldn't help but stare down at our hands with a stupid little smile.

Hidan gave a squeeze and tossed me an adoring look. "He's a lowkey member of the Izumi fanclub. Oh hey! Speaking of which, what kind of badges have I earned lately? Musta gotten some new ones, right?" he asked, brightening deviously.

I knew exactly what he wanted badges for.

"Hm…" I hummed aloud, looking up in thought. "Yeah, you've gotten some. You earned the super cutie badge and the… um… the shameless badge. Yeah. Those."

Hidan pursed his lips. "First of all, don't act like I didn't already have that shameless badge," he tutted, angry brows and all. "Secondly… That's it ? How about longest orgasm? Best orgasm? Bestest most longest orgasm?"

"Hey, 'super cutie' is a really good badge to have!" I protested with angry brows of my own. "And for the love of beans, Hidan, would you please keep it down? Just because you're shameless, doesn't mean I am," I scolded quickly, glancing anxiously around us.

No passers-by seemed to notice, which was shocking, as Hidan made literally no attempt at speaking quietly on the subject.

He grinned and gave me a look that said 'I'll think about it… but not a lot'.

"Calm your beautiful little tits, sweetheart, no one fucking heard me. Even if they did, worst they'd be is jealou—"

"Hidan," Kakuzu interjected as we got close. "You know plenty of people can read lips, right?"

Oh. That made sense. Definitely seemed like a skill shinobi might pick up over their years. It especially made sense for Kakuzu, old as he was.

Boy, was my face red. That meant he'd just witnessed Hidan ask me for a freaking made-up fanclub badge for 'bestest most longest orgasm'... then something about my tits…

Sometimes, despite having died once, it felt like death couldn't come soon enough.

"Yeah, okay so you can read lips," Hidan sneered. "But can you read this?" He sauntered up, brazenly flipping Kakuzu off with his free hand.

Kakuzu quickly grabbed the finger. "Yes." There was no hesitation as he snapped it back with a cracking noise that had me scuttling away with a cringe and Hidan wailing angrily.

"What the fuck, you fucking cucklord!" Hidan spat, tearing back and cradling his hand to his chest.

"Were you able to read that?" Kakuzu asked without much inflection.

"That actually fucking hurt, dude!" Hidan whined, bending the finger back into place with a wince.

Kakuzu snorted, derisive as always. "Good. Sounds like you managed to read it after all."

"You're a real cock, you know that? A bunch of 'em. A bag of 'em. A fucking shit ton of cocks, that's what you are!" Hidan ranted, and I knew better than to assume it would be over any time soon. "Yeah. A shitty variety too. Buncha smelly, deformed, dirty ones—a whole fucking cock zoo ." Hidan fell into a raucous fit of laughter at this. "Oh God," he gasped, still cracking up, "I can't even believe it took me this long to realize how you got your fucking name. Your parents are are fucking legendary , dude."

"Hidan, I swear to God…" Kakuzu ground out, squaring up like he was about to hurt more than just Hidan's finger this time. "I will castrate you, stuff your cock down your throat, and sew your damn mouth shut."

Hidan pulled a face. "Hey, you keep that weird shit of yours away from my mouth."

Notice how he doesn't protest to his own penis in there though.

Yeah, that didn't go over my head.

"Guys!" It was time for me to step in. "Shouldn't we get going?"

"I dunno, ask Cock Zoo ," Hidan muttered, folding his arms over his bare chest with a disgruntled huff.

I gave Kakuzu a pleading look to drop it. If either of them were capable, it was him.

Now that his attention was on me though, it didn't seem to waver. His gaze drilled stern and scrutinizing into me, and I felt like if he kept it up, it might actually whittle me down to my bones.

"Wh-what?" I stuttered out defensively, trying to shrink away from the laser-precise stare with no luck. "Why are you looking at me like that? Are you mad at me or something?"

"No." His voice was stony and he offered exactly zero elaboration.

I squinted at him, disbelieving. "Then why are you looking at me like you're considering the best way to remove my fingernails?"

"Pliers work best. Everyone knows that. Teeth work fine in a pinch, I gues–"

I cut him off quickly, "I wasn't actually curious about that!"

Hidan–idly messing with his recently broken finger–approached, giving me a sweeping once-over before looking back at Kakuzu.

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "Oh, come on, dude," Hidan balked with realization. "You fucking kidding me?"

"What? Wh-What's wrong?" I gaped, inspecting and patting myself down, bewildered.

After throwing his head back to let out a barking, humorless laugh, Hidan gave Kakuzu an incredulous look. "He thinks I fucking hurt you."

" What ?!" My brows were thoroughly furrowed.

"Yeah," Hidan laughed, "He's fucking checking you over. Thinks I'm some sort of horny, raging lunatic that fucked your guts up with my fat cock or something."

Always so subtle…

" Oh my God, Hidan! " My face flashed with heat, hands slapping to cover it. Muffled, I muttered in a rush, "That's n-not…I-I feel fine, Kakuzu!"

Kakuzu snorted. "Like you'd rat him out even if you didn't."

I couldn't even respond. I could barely peek at him through my fingers before shaking my head furiously into my hands.

"Aw, come on," Hidan complained, but not without a smirk, pulling me into him and rubbing my back. "Leave her alone, man. She's fine. I'd be the first fucking person to tell you if she wasn't."

Kakuzu raked over Hidan with scrutiny.

"Look," Hidan sighed, "I was fucking good to her, just ask her yourself."

I whipped around to face Kakuzu, my eyes practically bulging past the fingers they were peeking through. "What?! No! No, don't ask me that! I'm good, can we just go!?"

Hidan mumbled slyly into my ear, "Yeah, you're good alright," causing my cheeks to become so hot they nearly seared my palms.

Either ignoring Hidan or not hearing him, Kakuzu glared at me, growling, "Now you're telling me to get going? You two were the ones who took so fucking long."

"Hey!" Hidan bit back, pushing me behind him, sending a currently unbroken finger to poke at Kauzu's chest. "It's a fucking shrine , it ain't fuckin' going anywhere. It's not even half a day's travel! Untwist your nasty ass granny panties, you geriatric assbag–"

The longer Hidan went on, the more Kakuzu's chest seemed to puff out. I stepped in at the first twitch of his fingers.

"Hidan!" I cried, snatching his arm away, practically dangling from it with effort at first. I clutched it protectively so Kakuzu couldn't destroy it. " Please . Kakuzu, I'm really sorry we're getting such a late start. That's my fault, not Hidan's. He's just being protective. I swear I'm alright and we're ready now, so can't we just go?" I begged, pleading with the biggest eyes I could muster.

Kakuzu stared for a moment. "Fine," he agreed.

He seemed keen to accept that I was intact. I suspected he had no more interest in hearing about my little romp(s) with Hidan than I had in relaying the spicy info.

Like 'expecting to have diarrhea later' amounts of spicy.

God, I hoped not. We'd be on the road.

Amazingly, we managed to make the trip to the shrine by that afternoon without any bowel movements–not on my part, anyway– or additional violence… not physical, anyway. There were definitely some cutting words thrown around, especially as Hidan had become quite tickled about the whole 'Cock Zoo' revelation, which didn't please Kakuzu at all.

By the time we got there, it was the hazy part of afternoon just before evening. It seemed most had left the shrine by then.

"Alright, now go remember something. Be quick about it," Kakuzu ordered, ushering me toward the structure with a pushy hand to my back.

Oh, sure. Now why didn't I think of that?

I stumbled toward it and stood there, staring. It was a pretty, but modest shrine. The structure itself was roofed, held up by four sturdy pillars, the wood ornately carved and embellished, but it was otherwise open to the elements with no walls.

Centered beneath the pitched roof was a fountain. Water spouted from a sculpted brass dragon's mouth and splashed quietly into a pool at it's base.

It was all very lovely to look at and lord did that not help me at all . What the heck was I even supposed to do? I didn't even have a tingle, not a twinge of a memory floating up to the surface of my swimmy little brain.

Glancing over my shoulder, Hidan slouched against a tree on the other side of the pathway.

"You got this, baby," he encouraged from afar as if I were up to bat at my first little league game. Me having to play baseball would have been less painful than this...

I stood there staring at the shrine some more, willing my brain to… I didn't even know… do something ? Anything? When that didn't happen, I looked to Kakuzu who was still at my side.

"Um, so, funny thing. I don't actually know what I'm supposed to do at a shrine. Any thoughts?" I asked with a dithery laugh, looking up at him like a lost puppy.

Kakuzu gave me a flickering once over and grunted. "Do I look like a man that visits shrines? Just do what everyone else does."

A quick glance told me the few people still there were packing up. I huffed.

"They're all leaving… I'm not sure–oh. Here comes someone! I'll watch her."

An elderly woman atop of what looked like an equally elderly donkey slowly bumbled up the path behind us. She was muttering under her breath at the animal, cursing it's lazy pace. It nipped at her and I barely managed to stifle a giggle at her nipping back. This lady was a little old spitfire.

"Hey Kakuz–"

Oh. He was gone. And not just casually gone like, 'hm, I'm tired of standing, think I'll have myself a seat', but gone like briskly retreating as if this old woman were a grizzled debt collector and boy did he owe .

I watched, scrutinizing him as he plopped down on a faraway bench in the shade. He shifted awkwardly so he was mostly facing away, but not so much that he couldn't keep a peripheral eye on things.

That was… weird . He was definitely being weird.

As the woman passed by me, I smiled and waved, excusing myself as I stepped out of the way. She flashed a smile in return. It was sweet and genuine, albeit exhausted.

Despite the smile though, she simultaneously wore an almost permanent scowl.

It wasn't her fault really, just age running lines through her tanned skin, hunkering down for good. Her green eyes were deep set beneath brows that had obviously spent their fair share of time furrowed. A dark crease set stubbornly between them as a permanent fixture.

"Good evening," I offered up as a nicety.

I was racking my brain for where I'd seen her before. There was just something about her.

"Is it?" she quipped with a chuckle. Her voice was like sandpaper and as soon as I heard it, I knew .

Hidan was now sprawled beneath that tree, idly inspecting his muscles it would seem… that would take him a while . He was blissfully unaware of the unlikely turn of events unfolding at that very moment.

Probably for the best .

Indeed.

Kakuzu, beneath an entirely different tree, was sitting as rigid as the stone bench beneath him. Arms folded, turned away, yet so very obviously watching what I had assumed was me .

Narcissist.

As I approached though, his eyes straining at their edges did not budge from that old woman. It was to be expected, considering who she was.

I took a seat beside him.

"Hey," I greeted casually, scooching close.

He offered a neutral grunt in response.

"Your feet get tired?" I asked.

"What? No."

"Well, you left pretty quickly. I thought you might have gout or something."

He scoffed. "I don't have gout ."

I hummed like I wasn't convinced. "You should stop drinking if you have the gout, you know. Slows recovery. Though I suppos–"

"Izumi. I don't have the fucking gout," he growled.

I didn't actually think he had gout. I just wanted to annoy him into relaxing a bit, but the fact that he was denying it so vehemently made me wonder if he actually did have it... I'd try to remember to check on that later.

I squinted at him suspiciously. "Then why'd you ditch me as soon as that random old lady showed up? Hm? The whole thing reeks of gout, Kakuzu." I shook my head with disapproval.

Kakuzu breathed in deeply and shut his eyes for a moment. He was quite obviously attempting patience. It was kind of cute. "Aren't you supposed to be watching her?" he snapped at me with a curt nod to said random old lady.

"Mm, seems like you're watching her enough for the both of us," I noted with a knowing little look, which earned me a sharp glare. I sighed, "I watched her a bit. She seemed strangely familiar. You know anything about that?"

He crossed his arms, looking away. "No."

Kakuzu was a horrifically bad liar.

"I think it's pretty adorable," I said, smiling and reaching up to pull my fingertip down his forehead, tracing the deep line between Kakuzu's brows. "She has the same thing, you know."

He watched me, eyes deadpan and arms crossed, not even bothering to swat me away. He knew that I knew. Rarely did he give up entirely and just resign himself to take whatever affectionate abuse I had to dish out.

Good. He's starting to learn that such methods are ultimately useless.

"Sometimes you're too observant for your own good," he complained under his breath before threatening quiet and low, "Not a word, Izumi. Not to her. Not to Hidan. Now get your hands off me before you make Hidan jealous. I like him how he is."

"Aw, Kakuzu. That's actually really swee–"

"A good distance away from me," he clarified.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Now go over there and remember something," he ordered with another overwrought nod toward the shrine.

I sighed. "Alright, fine. You're coming with me though."

"I am not," he asserted with a stern glare.

"Please?"

"No."

I huffed. "She'd never suspect anything. You look far too young and studly." I grabbed his wrist and began pulling with some serious effort. It did nothing and he said nothing.

"Come on ," I gritted, straining to budge him even an inch. "It's your freaking daughter , this might be your only chance to talk to her."

He chuffed, disgruntled. "What if I don't want to talk to her?"

I chuffed my best impression of his chuff. "What if I called you a big dumb liar?"

"It would be stupid and you would have wasted your breath. Nothing you're not used to."

I gave up, deflating against him.

"I'm not going until you come with me," I declared breathlessly. "So have fun explaining that to Pain when we head back with nothing."

Oh, now that was a dangerous look he gave me. Perhaps I was learning some bad habits from the Akatsuki.

"He'll be upset with you , not me," Kakuzu said with a scoff, brushing me off.

"Oh? Are you sure about that?" I asked keenly, standing my ground. "Because the way I see it, he expects me to screw things up. I'm Izumi, I'm a walnut. But you , you get things done. Right and proper. You're Kakuzu. You're efficient and reliable. What'll he say if you come back with me not knowing anything more because you weren't willing to walk up to the shrine with me? Hm?" I pressed, inwardly feeling very devious and powerful and doing all I could to repress my cheeky smugness.

His eyes intensified on me, flitting across my face as he processed what I was saying. Suddenly, and possibly for the first time, I felt like he was appraising me in a different way. Like he was taking me seriously, like maybe my words carried some weight. That I wasn't just some silly little girl, after all.

"Is this… Izumi, is this a threat right now?" he asked, eyes narrowing.

"No! It's a desperate plea!" I groaned, grabbing at his arm again and yanking uselessly. "Now come on , I'll be with you the whole time."

Kakuzu deadpanned for probably the tenth time that day. In my defense, Hidan was responsible for most prior offenses…

"Izumi. You seem to be operating under the idea that I am a child in need of coddling, despite the fact that between the two of us, you are clearly the child here."

I pursed my lips. "Yeah, but someone has to do it and you, like… never coddle me?" I argued with a shrug, not really sure what point I was trying to make, but it was true enough.

"You're alive aren't you?" he countered.

"Oh! You know what, that's a great idea," I brightened, completely ignoring his comment and talking about my own, not-yet-vocalized idea.

Have I mentioned you're a narcissist?

"When you come over with me, I'll just pretend you're my dad," I said with a reassuring pat to his chest.

"Stop saying 'when' like this is going to happen. And what does that solve?" he demanded, rearing his head back and making a face as if the suggestion alone had a foul stench–impressive, considering I could only really see his eyes.

"You're worried she'll somehow know , right? Well she definitely won't even suspect if it's just little old me and my cranky old dad! Hm, we should take off this headband too," I said, tapping it thoughtfully.

"Ugh… Izumi…" Kakuzu grunted, pinching the bridge of his nose. As far as I was concerned, it looked like the beginning stages of him accepting his fate.

Perfect…

"I'm not going without you. I mean that," I insisted.

He glared. "You know I can just make you go."

"Yeah? How exactly do you plan on doing that?" I called his bluff, hands on my hips. "What can you do to punish me that you'd actually be willing to go through with?"

Kakuzu's eyes flashed with anger. Oh, he was mad –not so much at my defiance, but rather, at how precisely I'd hit the secret little nail on it's softy little head.

I knew he wouldn't do jack beans to me. The cards were on the table, and for the first time, it became painfully clear that I could see his hand… and it was not a good one–not for him anyway.

So yes, that made him mad. So mad, in fact, that he felt inclined to begrudgingly agree to my terms just to get it over quicker.

Double perfect.

"Let's just fucking go, then," he muttered, ripping his headband off and standing abruptly. He glared down at me. "Well?!" he spat, waiting for me to do something.

I couldn't at first, dumbfounded that actually played out just as I'd hoped. I wasn't used to things going according to plan... it was almost suspicious. But I quickly snapped into action, flashing him a bright smile and grabbing his hand.

Practically skipping, much to Kakuzu's ire, I led us over. He dragged behind me with a scuffing gait, and his expression reminded me of a neutered cat forced to wear a cone.

I ignored how clammy his palms were. The closer we got, the more he began to question my plan.

"Do you even know what you're going to say?" he grumbled.

"Nope," I chirped with a squeeze of his hand. With the other, I waved at the old woman who had finally dismounted her donkey with some effort.

"Hello!" I greeted.

As she hitched the donkey to a post, she regarded me with a chuckle. "Well, aren't you friendly and full of energy? Wouldn't mind if you lent some of that to Kakuzu here."

I froze, choking on a cough and some words before I managed to get a few out, albeit tight and squeaky. "Come again? Sorry?"

If she somehow knew already, I was in such deep dooty with Kakuzu…

I felt him go rigid beside me, drenched palm, not breathing and certainly not looking at the woman. No, his eyes were trained on me, somehow bulging and narrowed at the same time.

"The donkey, dear," the old woman clarified with a bout of scratchy laughter. "He's old, could use some pep is all."

Oh sweet Lord. A bazillion thank yous for this mercy upon my stupid little soul.

"So your… your donkey's name is Kakuzu?" I asked.

Yeah, I just really needed to clarify. It felt like my life depended on it based on how tightly Kakuzu was clasping my fingers at that point. Pretty sure he had no idea he was doing it.

God, I miss circulation.

She gave donkey Kakuzu a good pat and it nipped at her. "Yep."

"That's kind of… an unusual name for a donkey, no?" I pressed, finally getting a hold of my nerves.

At this, she burst out laughing. "I suppose it is… don't think about it much anymore. All my donkey's have been named 'Kakuzu'. Bit of a family tradition, you see."

I couldn't help but raise a brow at that, feeling more amused than worried now. "Surely there's a story behind that?"

Kakuzu silently warned me to knock off my incessant prodding with a sharp glint in his eye, but I'd already prodded, so it couldn't be helped.

"Hah. Naturally. Not a long one, mind you," she giggled in a harsh, scraping kind of way, her voice addled with age, though the mischievous shine in her eyes belied her years. "I was a little girl when my mother decided to buy our first donkey. She was a merchant trader–a lot of trips, a lot of travel. You know how it is."

"Sure." I pretended to know things.

"Anyhow, one day she came home with this donkey, right? Named it Kakuzu–my father's name–because according to her, it was, and I quote, 'a good name for an ass'." She cackled, rubbing the animal's rear for good measure.

Uh oh. I knew that wasn't something I should laugh at… but I couldn't even help it. My free hand clapped over my mouth to at least contain it inside me, but even that seemed futile. Her laugh was too contagious, and I'd come down with the giggles hard.

Part of me felt so bad for Kakuzu. There he was, bullied into interacting with his elderly daughter, only to get immediately dunked on by not only her, but also his ex-wife from beyond the grave via petty family tradition.

The other part of me was still laughing really hard . I squeezed his hand and leaned into him apologetically, but that was all I could really do at the moment. I'd have to apologize better later.

"It's okay to laugh," she assured Kakuzu, addressing him directly for the first time. "Never met the guy, died before I was even born. My understanding is he didn't have enough feelings to have 'em be hurt, so don't worry about speaking ill of the dead," she laughed.

My heart promptly lodged itself into my throat. A furtive glance at Kakuzu told me he'd heard her well enough. Would he know how to respond not like he was the target and said shots, but like a normal human ?

That made me cringe. I would hardly set the expectation at 'normal human' for any of the Akatsuki in any situation. Certainly not this one. I mentally prepared to swoop in if need be.

"Sounds like you were better off with this kind of ass anyway." Kakuzu vaguely gestured to the donkey which hissed and bared his teeth at him.

I snorted with relief. Good. So he was able to joke about his own fictional death and factual emotional distance.

Kakuzu scowled, appraising it further. "Hn. 'Kakuzu' seems a suitable enough name for a beast." His voice came out shockingly even, if not just a little too calm. I picked up on something mildly heartbreaking in the undertones.

The woman did not pick up on that at all, however. She burst out laughing again, smacking Kakuzu's arm approvingly which he immediately honed in on with an impassive expression. "You folks are certainly making my time at this boring old shrine a bit more interesting today. Must be travelers? Haven't seen you here before."

"Oh, yes! Do you come to this shrine often?" I asked.

"Mhm. Every day. Not much to do when you're an old woman except visit your local shrine and try to squeeze another few years of miserable life out of it," she laughed, somehow warm and gritty all at once.

That was interesting. So she went there every day… I had a sneaking suspicion Kakuzu probably knew that. No wonder he'd wanted us to leave so early–would have avoided her.

Ah, how the pieces come together.

"Well that's perfect!" I chimed. "I've actually never been to a shrine. I basically had to drag my dad here to take me, but now that we're here, I'm… not really sure what to do?"

Her smile was warm as she listened and nodded. "Ah…I see. Well I can help with that. What's your name, dear?"

I told her happily, amazed at how sweet she was despite being the spawn of Kakuzu. There was a lot of him in her, in the lines in her face and the expressions she made, but there was also an outward kindness I wasn't expecting.

Her smile made me wonder what Kakuzu would look like with an expression like that. Maybe one day I'd find out.

Hah. Maybe in hell.

"Pretty name," she said. "You can call me Terumi."

"Oh! Thank you, yours is pretty too!" I gushed, overly excited to get a compliment from Kakuzu's daughter. Somehow it felt like an achievement.

I knew that as an immortal deadbeat dad, the last thing Kakuzu wanted to be confronted with was his own geriatric daughter, but I was kind of having a great time and so was she. And between Kakuzu and I, maybe I was the child, but I also seemed to be the only one that knew this was actually for his own good.

Whether he ever acknowledged or thanked me for it didn't matter, but this was big for him, and I was proud of him.

"So, Izumi," Terumi gestured toward the shrine, "shall we?"

I nodded with a smile. "Yes, of course! I was just hoping to creep on someone to see what I was supposed to do, so this is even better."

At this, she cackled. "No creeping required, dear. There's not much to it, but I'll show you all there is." She shifted her attention to Kakuzu. "Which means we'll be needing your help for the ceremony if we want to do it right. Come now," she ordered, grabbing him by the elbow and pulling him over to the fountain.

I did all I could to bite back my amusement at witnessing the awkwardness that was Kakuzu being handled by his senior child. He didn't dare fight her as she positioned him to kneel on one side of the water-filled basin.

"Izumi, you next," she called, waving me over, and I skipped to comply. "Not every shrine has the same purpose and rituals. This one in particular is for health and longevity," she explained, seating me to kneel across from Kakuzu on the opposite side of the pool. "Drinking from it blesses you with these things."

"Oh, interesting," I murmured, reaching out for the water. Terumi stopped me.

"It is good to drink from the shrine and receive it's blessing. It is better to have the blessing bestowed upon you."

I stared at her, confused, and she laughed at whatever stupid look I had on my face as she knelt beside me, her knees cracking too many times as she did so.

"You there. Her father, yes?" Terumi questioned, looking pointedly at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu grunted with a nod.

"Well, Dad, looks like you'll be bestowing the blessing to us lovely ladies today. Lucky you, hm? It's done with your hands, so I pray they're clean."

"Yes, they're fucki–" his grumbling halted when he caught my tight lipped glare. "They're clean…" he amended, muttering.

"Alright. Come now," she coaxed, reaching over and grabbing his hands. Terumi's thin, leathered skin looked so strange in contrast to Kakuzu's which was rough and scarred, but still youthful.

Kakuzu, under Terumi's guidance, cupped his hands like a bowl and gathered water from the basin. He watched his daughter intently, uncomfortably, far too close for his own comfort. Luckily for him, it did not last long. He tipped his hands forward and she drank from them.

We exchanged a look, Kakuzu and I. His was wildly uncomfortable, but I couldn't fully tamp down my pleased little smile. This was good. This was sweet. I knew this wasn't really his thing, but I hoped it would bring some kind of peace to him.

Terumi, finished with a slurp, wiping her chin and resuming her position next to me. "And that's it. That's the ceremony," she said, shrugging.

"Seems easy enough," I assessed, scooching forward just a little.

"Told you it was simple. Now for Izumi." She gestured for Kakuzu to gather another handful of water, and he did so with an impatient huff. It was quite obvious he couldn't believe he'd been roped into such a stupid thing.

I'm not sorry.

He wasn't a man of religion or even beliefs outside of firmly believing in tax evasion, so I could only imagine how silly this was to him.

Kakuzu held his hands out to me, looking thoroughly done . Leaning in, my face inches from the water, I detected a faint odor and I suspected this was actually a mineral spring. That explained the healing and longevity aspect to it.

My lips hit the water, and the water hit me like a punch to the gut.

It sucked the air out of me. The vision out of me. Whatever senses I had, as crappy as they were, they were stripped like I'd just sucked in bleach to cleanse my every synapse and leave me with nothing but stark whiteness.

It was so bright . Far too bright. And from the brightness came areas of shadow, forming before my eyes like a mist, creating shapes and images–all a blurry mess at first. But it came into focus over time, almost too sharply in fact. With it came voices, noises, people around me, water trickling, licking up my sides. I felt it cool against my skin.

I was standing in it? I was standing in it.

A ceremony… it was a ceremony. Like with Kakuzu and Terumi, but different. Grander. More people, and all of them dressed in flowy garb that floated ethereally in the breeze.

I couldn't seem to focus on any one thing for long enough, it was just a bunch of snippets, flashing images moving too quickly. My hands were so small. The tree we stood beneath dwarfed me further–truly gargantuan and knotted like nothing I'd ever seen.

There were so many faces, all surrounding me, all smiling. My mother–smiling the softest, so pretty–a man beside her, and far more people spectating in a semicircle. All eyes on me.

An elderly man was in the water before me. Hands cupped, extended out, filled with water.

I tried to drink but I was gasping, and then he was hitting me, slapping my face, growling my name.

"Izumi!"

Kakuzu's voice came out of the elder.

Well that certainly didn't seem right… not that the rest made perfect sense.

"Izumi, God damnit. Wake up ," he demanded, roughly patting my cheek.

I came to with a gasp, clutching at whatever was in front of me, fingers twisting into Kakuzu's cloak.

It was so disorienting, everything that just happened. I winced, fighting to assess my surroundings with a groan.

It was all just a memory? It was all just a memory.

I'd been pulled onto Kakuzu's lap. Terumi was hunched at his side, hand on his shoulder, gazing down at me with brows pinched in concern. Hidan must have rushed over, that or I was out for a long time, because he was there too, dropped down to his knees beside me looking a bit manic.

Blinking madly, everything started coming together, I realized that what happened was exactly what we needed to happen. Finally, I remembered something . Finally, I wasn't a screw-up.

I breathed out, decompressing into Kakuzu. He was like the human personification of a freaking fortress, and I relished in the safety that came from being within his walls.

Even so, I still felt oddly jarred and in need of gathering my bearings like I'd just been torn through a wind tunnel and jostled about enough to make my temples throb. I breathed heavily again, untwisting my fingers from Kakuzu's cloak in favor of just letting my hand rest there against his heart.

"Kak–" I stopped short of saying his name. Kakuzu's wide-eyed, warning look did wonders to shut me up before 'uzu' made it out of my mouth.

Daughters did not call their fathers by name. And that name was a no-no regardless , unless I was talking to the donkey, of course. I wasn't.

Terumi squinted down and asked bluntly, "Did she just say 'cock'?"

Yep.

That was it–just cock–then silence.

Hell is real and you're there right now.

It wasn't just that I'd said 'cock' and 'cock' alone, either. Oh no, that would have been too merciful. It was also the way in which I said it.

Cock uttered breathlessly.

Cock laced with perplexity.

Cock pontificated with an air of philosophical questioning.

What is cock? Why is cock? How does one truly cock selflessly? I cock, therefore I am.

All of these absurd ramblings tumbled off the tip of my tongue in just one word with that delirious, puzzled inflection I rendered upon it.

Oh, I could have died . I wanted to.

Death by cock.

What a way to go.

Hidan's expression shifted the quickest. He burst out laughing, cutting the tension like it had no right to be there.

"Alright dude," Hidan laughed, wiping his tears, "pass her over here, pretty sure she's asking for me."

"Oh my," Terumi muttered with a blush and an awkward school girl giggle.

"Hidan!" Kakuzu and I both scolded at the same time–his fuming, mine mortified.

"What?!" Hidan defended. "Pretty sure out of everyone here, I'm the person best equipped to give her what she's asking for?" He ended on a rising question and a shrug.

"I wasn't asking for that!" I denied quickly. "I was… I-I… well I–" There was no way to explain this easily.

"Izumi, stop," Kakuzu commanded. "You're going to hurt yourself."

Despite his prior chastising, he shoved me into Hidan's arms who instantly pulled me against him like the protector he was.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Hidan asked with a kiss to my forehead, then my cheek, then the other cheek. I was effectively shut up and forced to endure the intensifying kissy shower with nothing but giggles and squirms as my defense–useless. He pulled back with a grin to actually let me answer.

"Yeah," I laughed wearily. "I'm fine, really."

Curling into the crook of Hidan's neck, I quietly assured him it was just a vision–a memory–and I'd tell them later. He approved with a hum in my ear and a press of lips to my hair.

"I'll go have her eat something," Hidan said to Kakuzu. "Should be good to go after that."

"She got what she needed from here?" Kakuzu questioned.

"Pft, evidently not if she woke up asking for cock…" Hidan muttered, and I twisted to unfurl in his arms like an adder, hissing like one too. He hummed, continuing to muse, "I mean, I guess I could administer an emergency dosag–"

The rest of whatever he was going to say was snuffed out by my hands clapped over his mouth. I could feel his grin against my palm before it even reached his eyes with that devious glint.

I reprimanded him with reddened cheeks before looking to Kakuzu in a huff. "Yes, I think we got what we came for!" I kept my hands over Hidan's mouth until it seemed safe that there would be no more blatant cock talk.

To be fair, you started it.

I definitely hadn't meant to…

Kakuzu nodded, placated by this. "Good. Go eat, then we'll head out." He seemed very ready to go. The miniscule allotment for social interaction he could withstand had long been exceeded, and I could see the stress from it in his eyes alone.

"Suppose I should be off too," Terumi sighed gruffly, beginning to unhitch the donkey. "Before Kakuzu here gets to be a real asshole, anyway. Cranky old bastard, he is, especially when it gets late."

Hidan's mouth fell open as he choked down a laugh, clearly waiting to see if Kakuzu was going to turn this poor old lady into pulp, but his silence couldn't hold. A torrential outpouring of cackles left him shaking and nonverbal.

As much as I shouldn't have, I couldn't help but join in. Kakuzu looked none too pleased, especially seeing as Hidan was not in on our ruse, and could ruin it at any given moment with any flippant comment–Hidan's favorite type of comment, by the way.

"Dude!" Hidan wheezed, still dying laughing. "That old bag only met you for like two seconds and she already–"

Kakuzu's face verged on panic as much as it could beneath the mask. I could see it shaky in his eyes though, a certain strained helplessness that looked so foreign there beneath his pinched brows. He couldn't just pound Hidan into paste–Kakuzu's go-to method of shutting him up– because Hidan was holding me.

I nearly laughed aloud at the thought of me coming to Kakuzu's rescue. That was not our usual dynamic to put it generously, but it was clear it'd be up to me to stop Hidan from saying anything too reckless.

I certainly couldn't, nor did I want to, pound Hidan into paste. Between the two of us, Hidan was the one that did the pounding, and paste wasn't quite right, 'boneless whimpering mess' might have been more accurate. My thoughts kept traveling back to last night and the morn–

You're getting distracted.

Oh yeah. I had to shut him up, not that I had much in my arsenal. Slapping my hands over his mouth would have only raised suspicions. Simply telling him to stop talking wouldn't work either. I needed to distract him…

Quickly, Hidan still mid-sentence, I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine, immediately running my tongue to beg for entry.

Hidan seemed to no longer care about Kakuzu's existence. There was a quick intake of breath through his nose, fingers curling tight around me. It took a brief moment for him to register what was happening, then immediately fell into rhythm, his mouth falling open with a sigh and overtaking mine in an instant.

You're welcome, Kakuzu.

Ah, yes. I was so self-sacrificing, kissing Hidan like that. My fingers running through his hair, gripping it to pull harder against him. It wasn't like I'd been dying to do that all day or anything.

"My, they're uh, affectionate," Terumi snorted.

The reminder that all eyes were on Hidan and I making out was plenty for me to break the breathless kiss.

"Yes, and they're leaving ," Kakuzu said pointedly, throwing me a look somewhere in between grateful and disapproving.

Hey. I did what I could, Dad.

"Yes! Leaving!" I agreed, somewhat muffled with Hidan still pecking at me. "Thanks for bringing me here," I said, giving Kakuzu a small, thankful smile. "That was really sweet of you."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "You make it sound as if I had a choice."

Terumi cut in with a cackle. "Hah! As if choice exists when she's got a face like that."

Hidan snorted. "Yeah, that's her fucking kekkei genkai. Big, stupid puppy dog eyes you can't say 'no' to."

I rolled my apparently big, stupid eyes and regarded Terumi. "It was really nice meeting you. Thank you so much for everything! Oh, and I'm super sorry for the dramatics... I swear I don't usually just up and pass out like that," I apologized with a nervous laugh.

Hidan and Kakuzu both shot me a scrutinizing, brow-raised look.

"That's true," Kakuzu ended up agreeing, which I appreciated. "Typically it's worse."

That's it. No more appreciation.

I scrunched my face at him which did not have the biting affect I hoped for. It never did.

Terumi laughed, thanking me for providing the free entertainment. Guess I was good for something at least.

I watched her and Kakuzu exchange a few words as Hidan ferried me away. They spoke longer than expected. I had the swallow down my heart which was annoyingly trying to beat it's way up my throat when I saw him hold something out to her–a small pouch.

It was something he picked up off the ground and acted like he'd just found it. Technically he had, yes, but even more technically, it was something he'd dropped there to begin with. Something that would help her live a more comfortable life, however long it may be.

She tried to refuse it, probably claiming it wasn't hers. Surely Kakuzu was saying the same thing. As she unhitched Donkey Kakuzu and heaved herself onto it, Person Kakuzu discreetly made sure the pouch made its way into her stuff. She'd find it when she was home and no one would be the wiser.

Except me, of course.

With that, she was off. She'd go back home and maybe think fondly on the odd pair of strangers she'd met that day. It was just a blip on her radar, not even the blink of an eye in the context of her whole life. But it was more than Kakuzu was to her before.

With my chin on Hidan's shoulder, I watched Kakuzu watch her. He was perfectly still and unblinking, looking on with a mask of stoicism until her form dipped from sight down the winding path.

He stood there a moment longer before his chest heaved with a single, large breath. He closed his eyes, exhaled, and reset his gaze on Hidan and I, moving to join us.

By the time he made it over, I was sitting against a tree, munching on a rice ball. I patted the ground next to me for him to sit.

"No, we better go," he said, his voice sounding more tired than usual. "The sun is setting and we still need to find a spot to camp."

"What's wrong, Kakuzu? Mad you couldn't get a date?" Hidan jeered. "Gotta say though, nice to see you going after someone more your own fucking age–"

Without a word of warning from Kakuzu, Hidan's head was suddenly being slammed into a tree. Then there was a lot of yelling from Hidan. Something about Kakuzu being an old taint raisin if I heard him correctly. I wasn't sure what that was, but I finished my rice ball as they fought, and they would have gone further had I not put the kibosh on it.

It didn't take much, just a weary hand on Hidan's leg and telling him through a yawn that I was tired. He looked at me, blinked, and all but forgot what he'd been wailing about as he took to wrapping me up in his limbs and affection.

"Aw, how can I help, baby girl?" he asked, collapsing around me and pulling me onto his lap, burying his face into my hair and breathing in deeply. It was nice to see I wasn't the only clingy one.

"Will you carry me to wherever we make camp?" I asked, rather pathetically, to tell the truth. I usually tried to do as much as I could on my own, but I was too comfy in his arms and I didn't want to move.

"Of course I will," he soothed with his fingers edging into my hair and scratching gently at the roots. "I'm your man. That's what I'm here for, sweetheart."

God, he made my stomach feel like it might actually fly away from the criminal amount of fluttering he caused it in. I decompressed against him, closing my eyes, thinking of the disjointed visions I'd had and trying to tease them apart as we took our leave in silence.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Geez guys, y'all broke 200 kudos after last update O_o thanks SO much for everyone's support and comments 3 It's the only way I know anyone is still even reading this thing lol

Life has been hectic and winter is depressing. I continue to write, just slower. I hope you're all doing well :3

Chapter 50: From The Heart

Notes:

CHAPTER 50 Y'ALL WHAT A MILESTONE FOR ME

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Kakuzu, who was nearly as finicky about camping spots as he was money, blessed us by deeming a nearby clearing acceptable with almost no fuss. Hidan set me down on a giant shelf of a rock, bundling me in his cloak and dotting my forehead with a peck before he and Kakuzu took to the surrounding forest to scrounge up firewood.

The air had a chill to it now that it was fully night, and while I kind of couldn't wait to crawl into the warmth of my bed roll, I was enjoying the free smooches I'd get each time Hidan had to pass by me.

They usually came with a smile, sometimes a wink, and subsequently, a lot of blushing and uncontrollable smiles of my own. It was kind of surreal, that he was still this doting. I had half expected us to leave that town and have some sort of veil lifted, for him to come to his senses, take one look at me and realize his whoopsie.

Nope. Not yet, anyway.

I honestly wasn't looking to question it, so lucky me, I supposed.

Hidan was too cute as he watched the fire he built get lit aflame by Kakuzu. He looked so proud, and it really was a very good fire–chaotic and robust, like him.

"You cold, baby girl?" he asked, glancing over as he began unfurling our sleeping mats by the blaze.

"Not horribly," I assured, ruffling the cloak in a way to suggest it was doing a decent job.

"Not horribly? The hell is that?" he asked–disgusted–and kept going before I could respond. "Not good enough, that's that that is. Give me a second, sweetheart, I got an idea."

Kakuzu groaned under his breath as he set up his own spot, surely at the thought of Hidan having an idea.

Hidan, not noticing or caring about this, flashed me the most endearing look of excitement as he grabbed my bed roll and yanked it over to his. Dropping onto all fours, tongue peeking between his lips as he worked hastily at combining the two into one mega bed roll.

Suddenly I was looking forward to curling up in there even more.

"Eh?" Hidan questioned, clearly pleased with himself as he stood, brushing his hands together and admiring his handiwork. "Whaddaya think? Pretty good, right?"

"I think 'pretty good' is a pretty big understatement," I said, smiling. The thought of a cozy night's sleep wrapped up in Hidan sounded like the best kind of medicine to me.

"Glad you think so," he murmured, biting his lip as he sauntered over to me, firelight burning in his eyes. It was a half-shadowed, inscrutable look with an intensity that had me wondering what was going through that head of his.

"What's this look for?" I asked more quietly than intended, the breath flushing out of me beneath the weight of his stare. He leaned down, hands pressed against the rock on either side of me, face inches from my own, and his gaze was unwavering as he held mine like that.

"For you," he eventually elaborated in the most unhelpful of ways. My already waning breath was left to simply catch in my throat as he closed the space between us, ensnaring me in a kiss.

Medicine. Yes. It did feel like that. I drank it greedily.

Grabbing my hands, he pulled them to loop around his neck in a wordless directive to hold on, then his fingers were weaseling beneath my thighs and hoisting me up. I held tight, squeezing my legs around his waist as he carried me over to the sleeping mats, all the while enjoying the comfort of his lips, wishing for more when he finally broke away.

"I know it's no cushy brothel, but maybe I can make a decent enough bed for you tonight," he offered, setting me down to stand. It came out sweet with a shocking lack of sexual undertone.

Regardless, I had to laugh. "Pffft, you'd make a terrible bed!" I punctuated it with a smack to his stupidly built frame.

Hidan's jaw dropped like it was the betrayal of the century. "Ouch, what the hell? Thought you were my girlfriend, damn." But he wasn't a good enough actor to tamp down the amused quirk of his lips.

"I-I am!" I shouted a little too quickly, causing his smirk to stretch into something a lot toothier. "I just meant you're too hard!"

"Heh… yeah I am." Suddenly his eyebrows were doing a very wiggly dance and I knew just where this was going.

"Not like that!" I scolded quickly, trying to head him off before he could say something that turned me into a tomato or made Kakuzu shove his perfect face into the ground. "I meant your muscles!"

"The dick is a muscle," he asserted, giving me a look like 'you should know'.

Ugh. It was tomato time.

"Yes, but–"

He cut me off to double down, "the dick is the strongest muscle in the human body, sweetheart."

"Wha–no. Where are you getting that from?"

He grinned, tapping his temple. "Personal experience."

Kakuzu suddenly stood, grumbling something about being too old as he stalked off into the woods. He halted before passing too far beyond the tree line, still visible as a gloomy figure with his back to us.

Ah. So he was peeing.

Hidan mused, "Yeah, I could piss," before taking off into the shadows beside Kakuzu. I plopped down contently by the fire, not desiring to pee with the boys. Having to listen to them was enough of an experience in it's own right.

Kakuzu began complaining as soon as Hidan stopped near him. "There's an entire forest, Hidan. Don't stand so close to me."

"Come on, man. It's fucking dark and scary out here," Hidan whined, unfettered by his partner's request. A second tinkling stream soon joined the first in spraying against the ground, coupled with a deeply relieved groan from Hidan.

"Hidan…" Kakuzu growled a warning, shuffling away from him.

"What? Oh whoa , nice cock, bro," Hidan remarked with a long whistle as he leered over at Kakuzu.

Aw, that was… kind of sweet… I supposed? I wouldn't pretend to know if comments like that were considered normal passed between men, I was just grateful Hidan was being nice for once.

A split second later I nearly jumped out of my skin, startled by the splintering crash of Hidan's body being plowed through several trees at the other end of Kakuzu's detached hand.

"How many times have I told you to stop saying that shit to me!" Kakuzu's continued berating was nearly drowned out by Hidan's incessant laughter as he tried to stand up, only to be further shoved back into the dirt.

Impressively enough, the steady stream of urine hitting the crunchy forest floor did not pause at any point during the altercation on Kakuzu's end. Ever the seasoned professional.

I sighed, poking at the fire with a big stick and absently wondering how often Hidan commented on Kakuzu's genitalia to earn that response.

"Why the fuck not? It's a compliment dude," Hidan protested, brushing muck off his cheek with a drag of his forearm.

Kakuzu didn't spare him so much as a glance, growling, "You're just being a jackass, you couldn't see shit from where you were."

"Are you saying it's not a nice cock then?" Hidan asked incredulously, stepping in front of him, forcing some attention out of his partner.

Kakuzu met Hidan with a repugnant glare, holding it for several seconds before his eyes averted. "...No," he grumbled, scowling deeply.

"Yeah, that's what I fucking thought," Hidan laughed, casually backhand slapping Kakuzu's chest like some sort victorious I told you so .

Yep, Kakuzu wasn't having any of that. Another bout of violence had Hidan's face becoming part of the landscape several more times. I suspected the point was to stop him from cackling like that, but it only seemed to make him lose his beans even more.

I was going to have to step in.

"Boys?" I called out sternly and was met with silence. Yeah, they knew they were in trouble. "Hidan, stop commenting on Kakuzu's anatomy, and Kakuzu, you do need to work on taking compliments!"

Kakuzu was the first to come back. A chuckling, dirt and blood covered Hidan swaggered out not too far behind him, cracking his neck back into place.

Throwing me a defiant look, Kakuzu asserted, "I know how to take a compliment. Hidan doesn't know how to give one."

I pursed my lips. There was some truth to it. Looking over at a guy taking a leak and alerting him to the niceness of his penis probably wasn't exactly up there as far as social acceptability went… but still, sometimes with Hidan, you had to make some small concessions.

"You've completely ignored every compliment I've given you, and mine were far nicer than Hidan's," I pointed out.

Kakuzu grunted. So that was that.

"Baby, Kakuzu is being mean to me," Hidan whined like I was supposed to do something about it. "I think he made me pee on myself."

I huffed, of course he did. "Better go wash your pants in the river then. I'd like to sleep next to you not covered in urine, please."

"Aw, shit…" Hidan muttered, sulking away.

He returned quickly and entirely naked, which earned him more angry bemoaning from Kakuzu and brightly flushed cheeks from me… and also possibly some googly eyes, just a little ogling. Not too much. But really, was there such a thing as too much?

"What?!" Hidan balked, flashing us a finely-sculpted ass as he turned to hang his clothes. "It's nothing you guys haven't seen for fuck's sake. They gotta dry somehow, don't they?" he rebutted, adjusting his dripping pants near the fire before crawling into the sleeping bag with his thingy swingin'.

Kakuzu raised a brow at him. "Don't think I'm letting Izumi get in there with you like that."

Hidan made a face. "Tch, why not?"

Kakuzu glared at him, deadpan, as if to say, 'Is that really a fucking question, you horny bastard?'

Hidan laughed, "Oh please, like if we wanted to fuck, I couldn't just fucking whip my dick out anyway? Like pants would have stopped me?"

No doubts here.

"Oh my God, Hidan!" I shrilled, clapping my hands over my face. Why was he always like this?

"Kakuzu you shit, look what you did!" Hidan yelled, gesturing to me, "you're getting her all upset!"

"Me?!" Kakuzu snarled, making a motion to get up–probably to grind Hidan into the dirt again.

" Hidan ," I interjected quickly, jumping up and positioning myself between them with a hand on Kakuzu's shoulder–as if that would keep him seated.

Hah .

"Please just… why don't you go to bed, Hidan? I'll wake you up and join you when your pants are dry, okay?"

"Aw, come on baby," Hidan whined, exasperated. "You don't have to listen to him, not like he's your fucking Dad."

Now that's just funny, all things considered.

"Well I don't have one of those, so maybe he's the closest I'll get," I countered with a huff, flopping against Kakuzu from behind, arms clasping around his collar and chin resting on his shoulder.

Hidan scowled and tore the sleeping bag over his head. His voice was muffled as she shouted from inside it. "Fine, have fun gossiping about me. I'm fucking tired anyway."

Kakuzu snorted–part derision, part amusement–with a half-hearted roll of his shoulders to loose me from him. He didn't try too hard to shrug me off, so I didn't move too quickly to comply. I was enjoying making him feel something, because despite the obviousness that a part of him was uncomfortable with it, I refused to believe a larger part didn't need that hug.

He'd had a hard day too.

I took my time in lazily peeling myself from him. "Don't go anywhere, okay?" I said, sneaking a quick peck onto his cowled cheek before padding over to where Hidan was before I could be grumbled at.

"Hey you," I whispered, peeling back the blanket cocoon to see his face. He looked genuinely upset and my hands worked to smooth out the lines of his scowl while my lips took to his forehead. "Don't be mad at me. I'll come to bed as soon as I can, alright?"

Hidan sighed. "This isn't mad , baby girl," he murmured, closing his eyes and grabbing a wrist to pull my hand to his lips, dusting kisses across my knuckles. "Tired. Just wanna lay with you. Sorry I fucked it up like usual."

I shook my head, brows knitted, and assured him he hadn't, showering him with a bit more affection as he looked to be in desperate need of it. "You know I love you, right?" I reminded softly, my free hand finger-combing through his silvery hair.

"Mm, no, I forgot. Remind me again?" he mumbled against my knuckles, continuing with the barrage of kisses.

And so I did, in between returning the gesture with soft pecks to each closed eyelid, his forehead, tip of his nose, lips, and ending with another little reassurance, "I'll come to bed as soon as I can."

"How about now?" he perked hopefully.

"Hidan…" I tutted, half-hearted. "We've been kind of annoyingly affectionate, and Kakuzu has been shockingly tolerant. I'd like to keep the peace, okay?"

He sighed, now lazily pretending to gnaw on my knuckles, resigning himself to mutter, "Fine, you've got the big brain. Guess I'll trust it more than mine."

I laughed. "Your brain is big too, you know, you just don't like to use it so much."

"It's a lot of work," he justified.

"I know it is. Now give it some rest, please."

Difficult as it was to break away from him looking so softened by both the firelight glow and the affection he was far from used to, I eventually did, making my way back over to Kakuzu who was sitting on his mat, staring blankly into the flames.

I sighed, kneeling behind him and tapping his shoulders. "You know the drill."

He made a noise as if he disapproved, but actions spoke louder than guttural noises, and he otherwise silently removed his head coverings. I took to fanning his hair out to begin our little ritual.

When he went a few minutes without so much as a grumble, even when I'd hit a snag– highly unusual–I dared to sneak a peek at his face, and was pleasantly surprised to see his eyes were closed, a sort of blank, peaceful expression ironing out the usual grimace and severe angle of his brows.

Hidan was already snoring, of course. It sounded like someone was sawing down a freaking tree. What was it with these Akatsuki boys and the snoring? Hidan seriously gave Kisame a run for his money.

"So…" I began, finger-combing down Kakuzu's scalp, "How are you feeling?"

He scoffed. "Why are you asking me a useless question like that? I'm in perfect health and I still don't have gout."

"Ah yes," I mused agreeably, "nothing out of the ordinary happened today, right? You didn't, by chance, run into your long-lost elderly daughter or anything? That kind of thing can be–"

"Izumi…" Kakuzu warned.

"He's asleep," I soothed, knowing he wouldn't want Hidan's ears anywhere near this conversation. I added quietly, "You didn't seem too surprised to see her there."

He didn't say anything.

"I think it was really sweet, what you did for her."

"What? Pour some dirty water down her throat?"

I snorted. "Yes. The dirty water. That's exactly what I was talking about. Nailed it."

He fell silent once more with an annoyed shake of his head.

"I'm just saying, I thought it went really well," I defended innocently.

"What do you want me to say, Izumi?" Kakuzu snapped. "That it was therapeutic?"

I brightened, "Ohhh, that'd be a good start!"

He let out a derisive snort. "I don't need the things you think I do."

"Who said anything about need ?"

He said nothing, but I was almost certain I heard his eyes rolling back in his skull.

I huffed. "Look… if you only let yourself have the things you need –food, water, shelter–you'd be no different than an animal."

"Sounds about right," he dismissed.

"Kakuzu…" I sighed, exhausted. "You are not a donkey, okay? You are a person. One who's lived a very long, complicated life." I had to stop myself from pointing out the fact that he probably had a lot of complex feelings develop over that long life as well. That would be too much to acknowledge though, regardless of its truth. "But I do have to say… that whole donkey thing was just a teensy bit funny."

A deep, gravelly noise, not unlike a growl–though I knew it to be something akin to a laugh–rumbled in Kakuzu's chest. "Yes, well, it does sound like something my ex-wife would do. She was funny like that."

"Something your daughter inherited, apparently."

"Hm."

"Still got your scowl though," I teased.

He agreed, "Unfortunately for her."

"Eh," I said, shrugging. "You both wear it pretty well. Wouldn't be the same without it."

He had nothing more to say, but that was fine, I was happy to be chatty enough for the two of us. Pulling the brush through his thick length of hair with ease now, I sectioned it out and went to work on the braid.

"And about what you gave her, it's not like I'm going to tell anyone," I assured with a light scratch to his scalp. "I just thought it was cute. I was proud. Also, on a totally different note, she was hilarious and amazing and I think we should plan a trip to accidentally run into her again when things settle down."

Kakuzu let out a snort. "When things settle? Between you and Hidan I can't see that happening any time soon. Now that you're fixed he thinks it's his turn to be a pain in my ass."

"Ah… yeah, Hidan. He's a handful, alright," I said with affection. Hidan was a handful, but he was my handful now, so I was kind of okay with that.

Kakuzu agreed with a grunt. I finished tying the braid and brought it over his shoulder, knowing he liked to fiddle with the fringe.

Resting my hands on his shoulders, I rubbed absently as I stared over at the loud lump that was Hidan, his silver hair peeking out from the blanket. "He mentioned he talked to you about his problem…" I said, my voice dropping into something lower, something more serious. "You will help him, won't you, Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu also glanced over at Hidan's sleeping form, but met me with more strained silence. I slumped over his back once more, squeezing around his collar like a plea for him to be nice, just this once.

"He admires you in a way, you know. Looks up to you. It may not seem like it, but he really cares about you, he just doesn't know how to show it. We're working on that," I said, feeling a strong sense of deja vu. I was pretty sure I'd had this exact conversation with Hidan with a flipped script.

Another scoff from Kakuzu. "He's an overgrown imbecile."

"Mhm, one that needs your help," I agreed, knowing arguing wasn't going to get me anywhere.

Hidan wasn't actually an idiot, in fact he was rather clever and intuitive when he wanted to be. It was simply that no one ever expected more from him, and he wasn't the type to feel any obligation in fighting against whatever preconceived notions they had. But I'd seen him pick up on the tiniest of nuances plenty of times when it came to me, when it was something he cared about.

"I'm not sure anyone can help him," Kakuzu eventually said, clipped and flat, staring hard at the fire.

"Don't say that," I pleaded quietly. "You know as well as I do that you're all he really has in the way of friends."

"We're not friends."

"I know, I know… you're immortal enemies," I mused dubiously. "You hate each other's guts and are always fighting, getting meals together, spending most of your time together, cracking jokes about your gross tentacle beard, chatting about meaningless garbage with each other. Totally not friends. I understand."

"Izumi…" He was clearly annoyed that saying my name in a cranky way was his only counter argument.

"Kakuzu…" I thought I'd give it a try, too.

"Get off me." He rolled his shoulders.

I squeezed them and pouted, "But I'm cold and I'm not allowed to get into bed because you made Hidan pee on himself."

"I did not make him–" he cut himself off, breathing in deeply through his nose like it might stop him from giving me the people's elbow. "Fine. Get off me and I'll give you my cloak too."

"Really?"

"If it'll get you off me."

"You must really hate me, huh?" I asked, amused, finally letting up on my hold.

"Really hate. Yes. That sounds accurate," he muttered, tugging off the garment and shoving it onto me like an impatient child dressing a doll.

I smiled up at him, drowning in not one, but two oversized Akatsuki cloaks. "You're funny, Kakuzu."

He chuffed at the notion. It clearly wasn't something he was told often–probably only by Hidan, otherwise. Sitting down, I scooted up against him to at least steal some warmth through my arm. It only earned me a brief glare, so I figured it was acceptable.

A long stretch of silence passed between us, the harshness of it softened by the ambience of the crackling coals and firelight. Despite its controlled, comfy warmth, I had a hard time looking at it without feeling like I'd been tossed into one of my nightmares. Like there was the shadow of a man tucked deep into the embers, flickering, beckoning.

I knew logically that there was not a tiny man inside the fire calling me forth, but that did not stop me from seeing him. I sighed. Hallucinations simply would not do.

"Hey, Kakuzu?"

Now he sighed. "You've never once said that and followed up with anything good," he dismissed, not sparing me a glance.

"Mm… I just… Do you know what Orochimaru looks like?" I asked quietly, chewing at the inside of my cheek.

Kakuzu went still before letting his gaze fall on me. "What makes you ask that?"

I hesitated, taking a breath. "I've been… well, you know how my memory seal broke when I died?"

He nodded.

"I've been seeing a man in my dreams–well, nightmares I guess. Anyway… I just have a really awful feeling about it… about him."

Kakuzu's eyes drilled into me like no one else's could. He was an absolute master of the unblinking death stare. "So are you going to describe who you've been seeing or not?" he asked, annoyed that he even needed to. Like I should have just known to spew it all out.

"Sorry… I–"

"And what have I told you about apologizing, Izumi?" he snapped, that mean look on his face.

I cringed, feeling especially fragile for some reason. The fire, the visions… they were certainly putting me in a mood. "Sor–never mind. You're right, it's stupid. Sorry." I scooted a few inches away and pulled my knees to my chest, staring down the man in the fire–so rudely staring back.

I heard the harsh sigh of air scraping out of Kakuzu and I could imagine all too well, his hand pulling down his face.

"Izumi, that's not–" He cut himself off.

There was a pregnant pause. I fought against the knot in my throat, wanting to say something more, but not wanting it to be the wrong thing. It was weird to talk about–those dreams. I hadn't really done it much.

"He's pale," Kakuzu said abruptly. "Paler than Hidan. He had long, black hair when I knew him."

I swallowed, picking at my nails as I glanced up at Kakuzu. He was staring down at me with an unreadable expression.

"This person had, um…" I paused to swallow again, suddenly feeling like my tongue was too big for my mouth. "They had purple markings around their eyes? And the eyes themselves… they were kind of like a cat's."

There was a slight knit of his brows, eyes flitting over me like he was checking me for lies or something. It seemed like I said something he wanted me to be lying about. Like maybe I'd just complicated things.

"Not feline–reptilian. Specifically snakes… and yes. That's him." He stared back at the fire. Maybe it was easier to look at than whatever grimacing expression I wore.

"Oh," the word wavered out of me. "I… yeah, I had a feeling it was him."

I hugged my knees harder, eventually closing my eyes–losing the staring contest with the figment of my imagination in the coals. Seemed kind of rigged anyhow.

The sudden sensation of being grabbed by my shoulder made me jump and probably shave a few years off my life. Luckily my bowels held it together. Bewildered, I snapped my eyes open to find that I was sidled up against Kakuzu once more, tucked neatly into the nook between his side and arm, which had pulled me close.

He was looking away, staring off into the distance like maybe his arm did that on it's own and he couldn't be bothered to pay it any mind. I figured I should probably follow suit, keep my acknowledgement to a minimum and just enjoy the small, rare sentiment.

I let my head lean against him with a contented sigh and summed up my thoughts simply, "Everything's just been a lot lately."

His eyes shifted to examine me silently.

"It has," he eventually agreed, pausing to examine me further like he was trying to decide on something.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"I have something."

I paused, blinking. "O-okay… um. Like a disease or… uh, an object? Or maybe a–"

"For you," he clarified with an impatient growl.

"O-oh! … Oh ?"

Kakuzu did not just gift things to people, not really, and definitely not out of nowhere. My curiosity was piqued, to say the least.

"Is there like… an occasion? I feel bad, I didn't get you anything."

"You don't need to get me anything," he established curtly. "You've given me plenty."

"I don't think I've ever given you anything…" I pondered aloud, tapping my fingers to my chin in thinking.

"Headaches. Lots of them. For a lifetime, and I'm immortal, so think about that."

I snorted, "You're on a roll with these zingers tonight, Kakuzu."

"Just pay attention, would you?"

"Paying attention," I chirped, clapping my hands. I was prepared to pay some deadly serious attention.

"It's stupid, so you'll probably like it," Kakuzu preempted.

"Aw, Kakuzu, I'm sure I'll love it even if it's not stupid, but you really didn't have to get me anything! I know how much you hate to spend."

"It was free, I… made it…" he muttered, ending quietly like it was some shameful confession.

AW, KAKUZU.

I tried to keep most of my fawning internal. If I made too big a deal, he'd get flustered and retract into his grumpy, old man shell.

"You made it?" I had to question, at the very least.

It was a bit shocking honestly, definitely tough to imagine him making anything for me. Only thing I'd ever known him to make was money. My brain started rifling through the things it could have been.

Some sort of macaroni art? Handmade herbal soap? A salt scrub? Uhh… mittens maybe, or a hat? Something knitted with his weird guts?

That was pretty gross when I thought about it further. If he made a hat out of that stuff inside him… would it continue to writhe separately from him? Would it stay warm? Or rot over time perhaps? What would that smell like? Would it stay fresh as long as he was still alive? Would he know when I was wearing it?

So many questions, and somehow I didn't want answers to any of them.

"Yes. I made it. Now just shut up and pay attention, Izumi."

Right. Okay. I can do that.

I observed as he brought his arm from behind me and held it outstretched before him. It was honestly kind of disgusting to watch as his hand pulled back at the seam that dotted along his forearm. It unhinged entirely–knuckles pressing to his bicep–as a thick, twisting clump of tendrils bulged it's way down his arm and squeezed out of the opening.

I let out a yelp, startled and revolted as the undulating mass plopped onto the ground in front of us with a splat .

"Oh my God !" I hissed, clinging to Kakuzu and scooching as far into him as I could. "What the heck did your wrist just spit up Kakuz–"

I stopped abruptly. The thing had unfurled itself, going from a gross, shapeless lump of worms to something… very different.

Something very cute.

This tiny creature–about the size of a fat cat–shivered, shook out it's limbs, and did a biiig stretch before looking up at me with a cock of it's masked head. The eyes were bulbous and set too far apart, and even though it was just a mask, it seemed to wear an adorably derpy expression.

It's four legs–or flippers, rather–slapped clumsily against the dirt as it waddled towards me. I went utterly slack-jawed with nearly inaudible cooing as I offered my hand out to it.

Hesitant but curious, it approached, seeming to sniff at the air, then me, as it gathered it's bearings.

"Kakuzu…" I whispered in utter disbelief, tapping his leg to get his attention, afraid to speak too loudly and scare the little bugger. "This is… for me?"

He grunted. It meant 'yes'.

My heart. Oh God, my heart. It was melting. The thing's little backside wiggled ecstatically and it began clambering up my legs without much success.

I knew in my gut what this was– who this was. It was the freaking fish from well over two months ago, back when we were at the festival.

"Lucky!?" I piped, snatching the creature up and pulling it into a hug. "Kakuzu… What? H-How? What ?!"

I wasn't sure what to ask, and I wasn't sure I really cared anyway. It was the cutest thing ever. In the entire world. No contest.

"Funny thing about goldfish," Kakuzu began dryly, like the whole thing was an annoyance and very far from funny. "They grow as large as their vessel allows. If you keep it in a small bowl, it stays small."

"...But you didn't keep it in a small bowl," I murmured, putting the pieces together. "You ripped it out of my hands–you jerk–and kept it's heart alive in your stupidly massive body!" I finished for him, practically bouncing up and down with excitement.

He scoffed at my description, but didn't bother correcting me because I wasn't exactly wrong.

"Yes, and it's becoming a problem. If this body could handle more hearts, then I'd have them. If I keep that in me, it'll keep growing and take resources away from the useful hearts."

"Hey!" I scolded, clapping my hands over Lucky's… uh… well, where I imagined ears might be. "Lucky is useful! Just look how cute he is!" I insisted, pushing up to my feet and holding Lucky out at his eye-level just inches from his face. Like maybe Kakuzu just needed a good look at the all-encompassing adorability of the thing.

Just then a slop of threads fell out of his butt with a wet noise against the ground, just missing my foot.

"Uh, oh God…Kakuzu," I panicked, bouncing on my heels. "I think I broke him? Is he okay?!"

Kakuzu rubbed his temples, glaring at the messy pile of squirming tendrils still partially connected to Lucky by a few longer pieces. "It's fine, it just hasn't developed it's motor skills yet. I'm not sure if it ever will."

To my relief, and not a second later, did the threads slurp right back up into Lucky's bum. Well, most of them anyway…

Works for me!

Kakuzu scowled and shoved it away from him.

"That was mean, Kakuzu!" I reprimanded, aghast and pulling Lucky back against me. It snuffled into my neck and shook it's butt as I scritched it with no shortage of cooing and baby talk, much to Kakuzu's dismay.

"Yes, in case you haven't noticed, I'm mean. Also, cute and useful are not the same, Izumi. Regardless, I thought you might like this stupid thing and you do, so why don't you just go to bed. I don't care about Hidan's pants at this point, just keep him in line."

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow your roll for a hot second there, mister," I protested.

"I don't even know what that means, but no ."

"You cannot just gift me the cutest creature alive, totally out of the blue, and expect me to fall asleep right after without so much as a question about it."

"I can and I do," he doubled down.

I scoffed. "Pfft! Well, prepare for your expectations to be unmet."

"Hidan is my partner, I prepare for this exact situation every day of my existence."

"Then it should be easy," I brightened.

"Izumi. Bed. And take that thing with you."

My eyes narrowed at Kakuzu as I hugged Lucky to my cheek. "This thing's name is Lucky ."

"It doesn't need a name. None of the others have names."

I balked, "There are more?!"

Kakuzu's entire being cringed as he realized his mistake. "We'll talk about it later."

"Now I need to think up more names. How many are there besides Lucky?"

"It's not fucking Lucky , Izumi."

I shot him a stern look, clicking my tongue. "It's either Lucky or Mr. Wigglebottom, your choice."

Our gazes tethered defiantly, both of us straining through the tension until Kakuzu eventually broke it with a huff.

"It doesn't matter what you call it. Lucky, sure. That's fine. I just need you to take care of it."

"Why? Does it have to like… eat and go to the bathroom and stuff?"

"No. Nothing like that. It's just going to pester me. It'll want to get back in, so I need you to keep it company and distract it."

"Oh, I can do that!" I assured, running a hand down Lucky's back and scruffling his little tushy. He flopped onto his side in my arm, exposing his belly and pawing at me with a flipper.

"Oh. My. God. Kakuzu, are you seeing this?!" I squealed.

Death by cuteness overload.

Kakuzu breathed in deeply, looking oddly uncomfortable. "Yes. Now bed ."

"Okay okay okay," I agreed, fawning over Lucky with my heart about to burst before beaming at Kakuzu one more time, "Thank you, Kakuzu. I love it."

"I can see that. Bed, Izumi. Please ."

An Aside with Kakuzu:

Mistakes were made.

Kakuzu immediately realized he hadn't really thought this through. It wasn't that he hadn't been one for planning or plotting or otherwise strategic thought. No, he was rather good at all that, actually. One of the best.

What Kakuzu hadn't accounted for was an outlier, something that didn't even cross his mind.

That thing– Lucky, as it was annoyingly being called now–was connected to him. What he was accustomed to with these pseudo-creatures was merely letting them out to stretch on occasion for some battle. They'd fight alongside him as allies under the pretense that they'd obey Kakuzu's will .

His will–that was very important.

He never needed to make the conscious effort to bark orders at them–unlike with Hidan–they just knew what to do because they were pieces of him. They obeyed commands, sure, but left without any, they still acted on their own in accordance with Kakuzu's general wishes.

So that was why this was all very bad.

After about two seconds of watching Lucky interact with Izumi, it became painfully obvious it had a considerable soft spot for her… and if it acted in accordance with Kakuzu's will, that was merely a reflection of it.

How the hell did he allow for such an oversight?

If certain people figured this out, he'd never hear the end of it. It would be absolute chaos– anarchy . He could see Hidan now, somehow twisting Kakuzu's fondness for the useless child, stupid as she was, to get his way with things. He'd already used her as leverage to convince Kakuzu to help him. How far would he care to test the limits of that soft spot?

He hated that term–soft spot. People would speak of it endearingly, like it was something cute , but all Kakuzu could think of was fucking fruit. Bruised fruit. Something imperfect and damaged. Something to be tossed out.

He neither wanted or needed a damn soft spot, yet there he was, just an apple that gave a little beneath the pad of a finger. Pathetic.

It wasn't only that though... No, because it couldn't be just that. It got worse.

It was the connection too. The quality was excellent –high fucking definition–which usually proved useful. It was something he had with all the creatures that housed his hearts.

If one of them got punched in the gut, Kakuzu would know. It wouldn't necessarily feel like he got punched in the gut. It wasn't an equal transfer of sensation–that would've been a raw deal– but there was something residual he would feel, something small and whispered in his bones, poignant enough to alert him to what was going on. They were a part of him, after all.

So Kakuzu watched Izumi drifting off with increasing irritation. She was tucked in beside Hidan, hugging the thing nuzzled contently against her chest, fingers gently scratching and comforting it as she dozed off. He watched, and he felt it.

It translated as soft and warm in the back of his mind, like something trying to ease it. He didn't want it to be eased, damn it. He liked his anger. It was comfortable and he wanted to feel all of it, not whatever this was.

Yes, he could see with his eyeballs that she was clearly petting the creature and not the inside of his skull. Logically, he knew this to be true, but what he saw and what he experienced were two very different things. It was downright invasive, how the comforting touch struck him so delicately.

If Kakuzu was going to be struck, he wanted it to knock him off his damn feet. He wanted it to give him a reason to feel disoriented. But feeling off-kilter from this gentle affection delivered to him vicariously through this creature without a single brain cell? It was appallingly unacceptable.

He was half tempted to wake Hidan for the express purpose of starting a fight. Just so Hidan would clock him in the jaw–and he'd let him–just to have something to point to as an explanation for his miserable reaction to all this.

It complicated things, and Kakuzu did not take kindly to complications.

It was an ungodly amount of uncomfortable–this warmth, this foreign feeling of lingering endearment every time Izumi would hug the little bastard closer. He knew it would only get worse. That girl would shower the thing with shit like this every day, he just knew it. It was stupid and cute–Izumi's favorite fucking things. Just his luck.

Kakuzu had two choices. Deal with it, or kill the cretin.

That wasn't pragmatic though, executing it. Destroying a part of your own life essence, regardless of how utterly idiotic it was, seemed like a bad decision on paper. So it was too late now, he wouldn't willingly eliminate a piece of himself–that went against every survivalist instinct in his body–but he was certainly free to hate it.

As if hating a part of himself would be anything new. That was fine.

Kakuzu was definitely kicking himself for what began as a simple experiment though.

He only wanted to mess with Izumi that day he yanked the stupid fish into him. He'd never pulled an animal heart inside before, and it came as a shock when he managed to sustain the heartbeat at all.

There was a disturbing element to that. The fact that an animal heart could live inside him seemed like a solid indicator that he was no longer fully human himself. That didn't bother him though, not really.

Not a lot, anyway.

Regardless, he only wanted to see how long he could keep it going at that point. An experiment–research. Just a tiny little heart, not even big enough to call for a mask. Surely nothing bad could come of it, he'd thought.

But the heart did not stay little, and surely nothing good would come of it.

So there he was, dealing with the consequences of his own actions. He tried being angry about it, but Izumi's gentle caressing was soothing his nerves and maybe he could just be mad about it later.

Yes, the next time she wasn't petting Lucky, he would make a point to fume.

Damn it. He'd really fucked up on this one.

Notes:

50 FREAKING CHAPTERS OF THIS THING CAN Y'ALL BELIEVE IT?

I can't.

I tell you what, guys. I started this fic over 10 years ago, wrote maybe like 60k words and dropped it within months. It was totally different. Edgelord OC, different characterizations. Hidan was mostly a dick and not much more. Deidara stood more of a shot? (lmao sorry bud)

So the pandemic happened and me, with all my 3 months of pervious writing experience a decade ago, said fuck it, let's go back and finish that fic. I really thought it would be a quick thing, but as you can see, it was not.

I do apologize for the novice writing and some of the stupid plot things I'm kind of locked into because I plotted it when I was more of an idiot, but you know what, I'm having fun with it, so I'm only a little sorry.

Also, you might think I'm wading into directionless waters here, especially with weird, bantery chapters like this, but I assure I'm going somewhere with this lol. We will be back at base next time :)

As always, thanks for reading fam 3

Chapter 51: Puns and Punishment

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

There wasn't a cloud in the sky as the seasons shifted from spring to summer that day. The sweat gathering on Itachi's brow was a good an indicator of the raw heat beneath the blaring sun, though some of that had to do with Kisame full on assaulting him.

Despite the necessary distraction–Kisame's burly fist attempting to reduce him to pulp–he couldn't quite get his head into the proper space for a spar. Not fully, anyhow. It had been days since Izumi took off with the zombie combo to that godforsaken town, and Itachi's nails had since been bitten to nubs.

"You're distracted," Kisame noted, grinning as he nearly landed a direct blow to Itachi's abdomen. Itachi managed to shift in time for most of it to skate off, but even then, it didn't exactly feel good .

Itachi leapt back, halting and catching his breath. "Is that an insult, Kisame? Am I not making for an entertaining opponent for you today?"

"Not at all, Itachi. Merely an observation. You should be distracted more often, it's quite satisfying to actually land some of these hits."

Itachi smiled lightly, brushing himself off, picking up from Kisame's casual approach that they were breaking. "I'm glad one of us is having a good time, at least."

"What can I say," Kisame shrugged, voice full of snark, "It's a burden I'm willing to shoulder."

Itachi, feeling just a bit snarky himself, looked his hulking partner once over and mused, "well, if one of us has the shoulders for it, it's you."

Kisame plopped onto the grass. Bringing his hands to swipe the mussed hair from his face, he used a water jutsu to drench himself like his own personal shower.

Itachi had seen this many times before, and the sheer extraness of it never ceased to amuse. Kisame cracked an eye and smirked up at him, offering a spouting palm and a look of 'you want some?', to which Itachi politely shook his head.

"Suit yourself. So," Kisame began with all his usual casualness, "what's got the old noodle in such a stir fry?"

With a sigh, Itachi took a seat beside his partner. "My 'noodle' is fine, though I appreciate your concern."

"I believe that," Kisame said with a nod. "Problem is, your noodle is usually a few notches above fine. I'd put it at exceptional on a normal day. Genius comes to mind. Though, when it comes to Izumi…"

"Kisame…" Itachi murmured. It wasn't so much a warning as it was something exasperated, a plea for him to stop because surely he'd be right, whatever he was going to say.

" Fried sounds about right."

And he was.

Itachi broke from vaguely watching Deidara and Tobi attempt to spar on the opposite side of the clearing– attempt was definitely the operative word there–to give Kisame a sidelong look.

"Why do you bother asking to begin with if you already know the answer?" Itachi questioned.

"Because it's fun?"

Another sideways glance.

Kisame clicked his tongue and gave Itachi a more pointed look. "Because you won't talk about it unprompted and I'm worried you might explode otherwise?"

That seemed a bit more likely. Itachi wasn't trying to worry his partner, he simply didn't want to burden him with his dramatics. What was he supposed to do, pull Kisame aside, tell him about all the thoughts that were plaguing him even though it would fix nothing?

Izumi was still in recovery, yet she was whisked away to the seediest town he could think of. She'd be such an easy target there and have no defenses, save for the men she was with. Not to mention Izumi had a bad track record of finding trouble, and even when she didn't, trouble found her.

Despite his hurricane of thoughts, he managed to condense them down, admitting, "I am a little concerned about her, yes."

"She's got those two with her. I'm sure she's fine," Kisame waved off Itachi's worry. If only it worked that way.

"Ah, yes, because they kept her so safe last time." Itachi usually had enough restraint over his eyeballs to stop them from rolling like a smarmy teenager's, but now wasn't one of those times.

"Hey, Mr. Sarcasmo, I'm sure they're taking good care of her. Have you forgotten they weren't quite as smitten with her back then?"

Itachi snorted. As if he could forget. "Of course not. Mistakes still happen though. Kakuzu is easily distracted by the promise of money and Hidan is… well, Hidan."

Kisame let out a sighing huff upon glancing over to Itachi, reaching out to slap a hand from his mouth. "Get your fucking nails out of your mouth, I am not painting them another time this week."

Itachi hadn't even realized he was chewing them. "Ah… I will fix them myself."

"Oh okay. So you're cool with everyone knowing your eyes aren't as good as they used to be?"

Itachi snapped to look at Kisame, an expression of 'explain please' beneath his cool exterior.

In a rare moment of hesitation on Kisame's part, he only stared for a moment, wetting his lips as he actually thought about what he wanted to say. "Let's just say you don't always color within the lines so well these days."

Itachi blinked, staring down at his hands. "You didn't tell me."

"No. I just started doing them for you. Seemed easier."

It was moments like this that made Itachi's heart throb with the pain of knowing what was to come. Kisame was a good partner, a good friend, and while he wore a mask of humor, especially regarding Itachi's soon-to-be untimely death, it was just a mask.

It was harder for Kisame to tell Itachi that his nails looked like shit because of the implication lying beneath the messy layer of paint–his time was drawing near–and saying it aloud only made it more real.

The thought of Kisame on his own, perhaps adjusting to a new partner after he'd been with Itachi for so long, was heartbreaking. It was something Itachi tried not to think about. But little things like this were becoming more and more frequent, and so were the thoughts they stirred up.

Itachi sighed. "If I knew, I could simply use my sharinga–"

Kisame burst out laughing. "You absolute fucking loon. You are not wasting precious sharingan hours on painting your nails. I won't allow it."

"My regular sharingan doesn't take a large toll."

"None is better though."

Itachi couldn't argue with that.

Kisame laughed, "Your eyes have gotten so shitty that you didn't even notice Izumi is back."

"What? Where?" His sharingan flickered on in an instant, quickly scanning the treeline and honing in on one Izumi at the edge of it talking to Deidara and Tobi. She was standing there holding… something . Some sort of animal squirming in her grip…?

It seemed so unlike Kakuzu to have allowed her to get a cat, or any animal for that matter. They required time and upkeep, and most importantly, money.

Kisame, through all his chuckling and head shaking at Itachi's knee-jerk sharingan, questioned, "what the hell does that girl have?"

"I have… not a single clue," Itachi assessed with a sigh. Leave it to Izumi to come back with some odd creature.

From the distance they were at, the only thing made clear was that it had wormed its way out of her grasp. Plopping onto the ground, it took a moment to shake its head and gather its bearing. Tobi of course went running up to it, squealing with adoration and making a scene of it.

He bent down, hands on his knees as he spoke to the thing like an infant. The creature stared a moment, cocking its head like it was assessing. Only a moment later were its hackles up and a swath of swarming threads shooting out at Tobi's face, clinging to the edges of his mask and tearing back.

"Oh shit," Kisame whispered, and all he was missing was a bucket of popcorn with the way he was looking so thoroughly on the edge of his grassy seat. "Seriously, the hell is that thing?"

"Smart," Itachi said bluntly, watching the event unfold.

Izumi was freaking out in her usual Izumi fashion. Overwrought apologies, panicking, attempting to pull the creature back by it's haunches. All unsuccessful.

Deidara and Hidan were laughing wildly as Kakuzu just stood there, looking on like this was simply another Tuesday. Meanwhile Tobi was screeching, crying for it to let go as he fought to keep the mask on. It was stretched far from his face, testing the quality of the straps.

It seemed likely no one besides Izumi would help because in truth, they were all rooting for the animal, curious to see the face beneath the mask.

"I don't suppose you think we should be helping?" Kisame asked, clearly hoping for a 'no' by his lazy tone.

With a shake of his head, Itachi answered nonchalantly, "Too many cooks in the kitchen."

He was no different from the others in how genuinely he wanted to see this play out. Itachi was well aware of the person hiding beneath that mask–Obito Uchiha–but most other Akastuki members couldn't say the same. Itachi was alone in his knowledge of many secrets and was quite used to that, but having the others know this one would have been a relief.

Obito was many things, but above all, ' not to be trusted' ranked highest among them. If he could just have more eyes on him, ones that actually understood him to be a threat and not some bizarre man-child, it would help immensely.

Unfortunately Itachi's hopes were dashed when Tobi finally managed to overpower the creature that appeared to be the size of an overweight raccoon. The mask snapped back, throwing Tobi off balance and onto his back.

Izumi was over him in a second with what looked like a thousand frantic apologies, helping him up. With both hands on his mask, now firmly back on his face, Tobi took off wailing all the way back to base.

Itachi liked this creature already, whatever it was.

"Welp, looks like we've got a cool dog now," Kisame mused.

Itachi paused, looking over at his partner. After a moment of discerning hesitance he asked, "Kisame… have you ever seen a dog before?"

Kisame merely smiled and decided not to answer, leaving Itachi to wonder if he was just messing with him, or truly ignorant to the appearance of dogs. A classic Kisame play, and one that would leave Itachi puzzled enough to lose sleep as he went over their time together, mentally scouring it for a single moment they'd spent interacting with a dog.

He could always do some research on Kirigakure as well. Admittedly he didn't know much about it in regards to local fauna and commonly housed domesticated animals. He assumed they had dogs, but assumptions were unwise.

Itachi sighed. A problem for later.

The partners continue to watch from their casual vantage across the grassy field. Izumi ran to give Deidara a hug before she seemed to introduce the creature to him, though it didn't seem to take much interest. Not like it did with Tobi.

It only took a couple minutes of spectating and commentary before it happened. The inevitable. The thing he'd been expecting for long enough that it was almost a relief to see it.

Hidan walked up behind Izumi, and where Itachi expected any normal person to halt, he kept going until he was flush against her, his arms wrapping her from behind, massaging her shoulders, rubbing her arms. She tipped her head back at him, smiling, and he leaned down to meet her.

They kissed.

"Whoa, when the fuck did that happen?" Kisame balked, staring at the pair. Hidan wore a broad smile as he proceeded to push against Izumi from behind, bending lower to kiss her neck. She shied away with a laugh, which only made Hidan pretend to devour her neck as if he truly were a zombie.

Her shriek of laughter reached across the field easily and the sound was bittersweet upon his ears.

Itachi sighed, his expression stolid. "Not sure. It was to be expected. I suppose it's better to get it over with now so I can get used to it."

"My God, dude, have you completely given up?"

"That was the plan, yes. To give her up."

"She's not a fucking drug."

"Maybe not to you…" Itachi muttered, unable to take his eyes off her. She looked happy . He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her laughing like that.

"Why are you torturing yourself by staring at them?" Kisame asked.

"Hm? I'm not torturing myself."

"Oh come on. You're telling me it doesn't eat you up to seeing them all cutesy like that?"

"...No. Not really."

"You're not jealous?"

"Oh, yes. I am very much that."

Kisame scoffed. "Get your shit straight man. You just said it doesn't bother you."

Itachi shook his head. "Those are different things. I am jealous of Hidan because he has her… but I'm not necessarily bothered by seeing them together."

"Gonna have to explain that one to me, champ."

Itachi sighed, gesturing over to Izumi like that should have been enough explanation. "She's happy. Look at her laughing. I think she just snorted twice in a row."

"Yeah she's fucking adorable, even I'm a little jealous. What's your point?" Kisame rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't matter who puts the smile there, so long as I'm an audience to it."

"Holy fuck, man," Kisame murmured, eyes wide. "That is some serious next-level simp shit if I ever heard it."

"Then I am a simp, as you call it," he agreed with a shrug. "As I originally suspected, he makes her happy. It's more than I could have done. It is what it is." Another sigh from Itachi.

"He's a ticking time bomb," Kisame argued.

"She seems to diffuse him."

Kisame stared over at the new couple, squinting like he wasn't buying it. "Yeah… maybe… or maybe he's just got a longer fuse than we thought."

"I thought you liked Hidan now," Itachi questioned.

Kisame lazily lolled his head to look at his partner. "Oh? Is that what you thought? 'Like' is a strong word for anyone, Itachi."

"You like Izumi," Itachi pointed out.

"No. I adore Izumi. She's an exception to the rule anyway, you know that."

"Yes, I know. I'm just pointing out that you've seemed favorable towards him as of late."

Kisame grinned. "Well, that might have something to do with the fact that he's been less of a fuck as of late. You're not jealous, are you, Itachi?"

"No." But maybe he was a little.

"Think I'm trying to switch partners? You and Kakuzu get on well enough. Couples do this kind of shit sometimes, right? Trading?"

Itachi had never worried about such a thing, never even considered the possibility, but suddenly it found its way into his head and he huffed with frustration, knowing it would take a long time to dig it out. He did not want a new partner.

"If that's what you want…" Itachi said, tapering off, hopefully calling his bluff.

"Dude, how are you even sitting upright?" Kisame asked, feigning amazement.

Itachi stared at Kisame, perplexed.

"You spineless shit, I'm not trying to switch partners, come on. Don't let me fuck with you like that, it's too fun but then I have to feel bad after."

"Oh? You're capable of such a thing?"

Kisame loosed a raucous bout of laughter. "You're alright, Uchiha. I don't care what anyone else says."

"A resounding assessment of me, Kisame. Please, by all means, put that on my gravestone," Itachi said, unenthused.

Kisame laughed again. "That's cute, you think you'll get a gravestone."

Itachi smiled lightly at this too. That was the joke.

Kisame hummed, "Well, maybe you will. I bet Izumi would make it happen. Does she know about your little countdown yet or…?"

Itachi pushed his jaw out with a frown, shaking his head with a stern look. "We've been over this."

"Thought you might've changed your mind. I think you should. She might have some tips or pointers, actually. How to cross over peacefully or some shit?"

Itachi gave his partner a sideways look. He plucked a blade of grass and began tearing it down the center absently. "Too soon."

"Isn't it always?"

"Hm…"

"Seriously though. She's gonna be fucking pissed if you die and then finds out about your condition after ."

"Now why would she find out about a thing like that?" Itachi asked, his voice suddenly cutting like razors. His eyes blazed just as sharp.

Kisame raised a brow. "Relax, I'd never tell her. Just… you know, what if you don't go according to plan? What if you miscalculated and it happens beforehand? Let's say worst case scenario it's with your head hanging in a toilet and blood dribbling down your chin."

"Your ability to paint a picture with words always astounds me, Kisame," Itachi praised dryly.

"I could keep going, wanna guess what you're gonna be wearing when it happens?"

"... Is it this exact outfit I have on now?"

Kisame clicked his tongue. "Damn, you're good."

"Hardly."

"All jokes aside, do you see my point?"

"I do..."

He really did. It was worrisome. If what Kisame was suggesting came to fruition, would she spent the rest of her life wondering why he didn't tell her? Questioning if that's why he pushed her away? Not knowing? Hating him for not knowing?

These conversations with Kisame never boded well for Itachi's strict four hour minimum sleep requirement. Aside from the whole 'never seen a dog' issue, he would be tossing because of this one for sure.

Since he was already screwed as far as circadian cycles went, he thought to get Kisame's opinion on some other things… really drive the nail in the sleepless coffin.

"I almost told her the truth about those things I said to her back when I 'broke up with her', as you would put it." He was onto dissecting a new blade of grass. The first one laid in two perfectly symmetrical pieces to his side.

"Oh?" Kisame asked, interest piqued. Such a glutton for gossip. "You mean how it was all a bunch of horse shit? When'd you almost do that?"

"Back in Jomae… Hidan was making comments. I think she told him, not that I blame her."

Kisame nodded. "Yep. That makes sense. So you almost told her. Not quite, huh?" Kisame laid back, lacing his fingers beneath his head.

Itachi tore the grass blade down the middle and discarded it with the first one, taking his partner's cue and also laying back, his hands folded over his stomach.

He made sure to angle himself to still catch a view of Izumi if he so pleased.

"I really was going to. I ended up not having the chance though, if you can believe it."

Kisame chuckled. "I vaguely recall our plans getting a bit fucked in the ass that night, yes. So, that means you'll tell her now, right?"

Itachi chewed the inside of his cheek and rolled his head to the side, grass prickling his face. He watched her for a moment. She seemed to be walking around like it was part of her physical therapy routine–likely upon Kakuzu's demand–and Hidan was at her side, ever attentive.

Itachi wanted to find a problem with him, he scoured him for one, sharingan activated and everything, but God, was he good to her. Itachi wondered if he would have been as good.

He would have liked to think so, but he really didn't know. That bothered him quite a bit. He'd never really had a problem with feeling inadequate before. He had plenty of other issues, but not that one.

"Didn't mean to ask such a toughie," Kisame said, purely with the intent of snapping Itachi back into reality.

It worked well enough. "Hm. I was thinking about telling her, but I'm not too sure now. She seems… good."

Kisame laughed, but it wasn't really funny. "I don't get you, man."

"Let's say I tell her. What then? She's clearly with Hidan now and seemingly happy. I can't see how there would be any sort of positive outcome."

"Think you'll confuse her or some shit?"

"I would be flattering myself to think such an admission would confuse her, I'm not certain she holds any romantic attachment toward me. Honestly, she really shouldn't. She even tried to set me up with a festival-goer that day in Jomae. All the more reason to keep it to myself."

Kisame's laugh sputtered out of him. "Pffffffft, what ?! She tried hooking you up with some fucking rando?"

Itachi sighed, shrugging. "It was odd. I don't know. She thought I liked blondes, for some reason."

"Well, do you?"

Itachi bothered to roll his head all the way to the other side just to give Kisame a disapproving look, that was how much he disliked the idiotic question. That was not the point. Kisame loved to focus on these trivial things.

Kisame chuckled. "Ah. I see. Another secret you want to take to the grave?"

"Yes. That's it."

"Sounds like Izumi being a spaz like usual. I wouldn't read into it."

"I just want to set her up to be safe once I'm gone," Itachi said, idly petting the grass to his side.

"I can get on board with that... Hey, speak of the devil," Kisame muttered, noting Izumi's approach, Hidan close behind. Kisame shouted over to them, "Hey lovebirds, what are you guys up to?!"

He turned back to Itachi with another quiet mutter, "How was that? Did I sound like a supportive friend?"

Itachi held down a laugh.

"Practicing walking!" Izumi answered as she got closer, flashing a toothy smile, hands on her knees and bent over like she was winded.

She looked so small. Even smaller than before. Itachi noted this and thought to maybe pick her up some sweets as he eyed her with a frown.

"Oh thank God, it's about fucking time," Kisame tutted. "Most people your age started that training about eighteen years ago."

"Hah hah." Izumi stuck her tongue out at him. Hidan rolled up from behind and ran his hand down her back in a sort of sweeping, check-in motion.

"You all good, sweetheart?" He asked.

Itachi stared at Hidan, looking him once over for good measure.

Him and his pet names. Izumi didn't seem to mind them though… and maybe they weren't all that bad, maybe the worst part was just that Itachi couldn't use them.

Hidan, from what Itachi could count, would use three consistently with her. That meant three were off the table, were she ever to consider himself again. That was fine though. He knew what he preferred, what he thought of in his head when he looked at her, and it was none of those.

What was he thinking? He'd literally just gotten done saying how he was backing off completely to let things play out with Hidan. There was something about seeing her up close that made him foggy though. Or maybe it was seeing Hidan up close. Possibly seeing them together. He didn't have enough information yet.

Itachi snapped back to reality. Izumi was talking.

"Yeah, yeah," Izumi assured, waving it off and straightening out. "Just, ya know, checking out this grass, real interesting stuff, ya know?"

"Oh? What's the consensus?" Itachi couldn't help but engage with her. He immediately cursed himself as Kisame gave him a knowing little smirk, and Hidan stared at him more intensely than appreciated.

That didn't matter though. Izumi seemed content enough to banter a bit.

" Very grassy. Like… whoa." She over-acted her mind exploding. It was pretty cute.

It was extremely cute.

Even her explosion noise was cute, though it wasn't very accurate. That's probably why it was cute though, he surmised. Normally explosions were not that.

Itachi hoped the endearment didn't register on his face. He pushed down the smile threatening to give him away.

"Ah, astute as always. I'll have to read your thesis later," Itachi mused.

"Well I'll certainly let you know when I write it." Izumi played along with an air of professionalism.

"I've dissected a few blades here myself, perhaps we can collaborate."

She raised a brow, hand over her chest with a feigned look of honor. "Such valuable research. I can only imagine the lengths you went to to obtain it. It would be my pleasure."

Itachi didn't want to think of her pleasure. It certainly wasn't coming from him these days.

"Hey, I can do stuff with grass, see?" Kisame entered the conversation, bored of the sidelines. He jutted his fingers into the ground and ripped out a big, grassy chunk of earth.

He held it up, "Eh? Pretty good, right? It's like… grassy and witty and stuff, like whatever you guys were saying."

"You really want to know what I think about that?" Izumi asked.

She had something funny or peculiar to say, Itachi wagered. He pushed up onto his elbows and watched to see where this was going. He was always fond of her surprising little comments.

"You? A grass expert? Lay it on me, toots," Kisame said, grinning.

"I think… you're a real grasshole ," She said pointedly, barely holding back her own laughter as she delivered the cringe-worthy joke. It came out in stifled little wisps even as she spoke.

No one thought Izumi was as funny as Izumi did.

But somehow that made her funnier. Kisame's lips twitched to laugh, if only at how stupid it was, but he forced them into an even line since he'd previously vowed to never laugh at her puns. He was having a hell of a time.

"Get it?!" Izumi giggled, "Because not only is it grassy, but you also dug a hole!?"

Yes. It was a two-level deep pun. She was clever indeed. Itachi was smiling without his consent.

"Izumi, what the fuck did we talk about?" Kisame reprimanded, no longer able to fully hide his growing grin. He still attempted to be stern.

Izumi pretended to think, finger tapping against her chin. "Hmmm, that I can only speak in puns?"

"No! It was never ! Never with the fucking puns, Iz! Aye aye aye, fucking kids these days," Kisame complained boisterously, jumping to his feet and shaking the grassy dirt clod over Izumi's head.

She squealed. Oh boy. And then there were antics. Kisame was at least somewhat gentle with her as he picked her up, trudging off and threatening to throw her in the lake.

Itachi watched her fend off the beast which was Kisame with a wistful smile. No one else could tame beasts like her, and she didn't even know it.

Itachi suddenly realized he was alone with Hidan. He'd been so lost in thought, watching Izumi and Kisame for a long time before he glanced over to notice Hidan trained on him. He was smiling in an odd, sort of friendly way, but there was something off about it. Something lurking beneath the surface.

Hidan stepped forward. "Hey, man, I've been meaning to thank you."

"Oh? I'm sure that's not necessary, whatever it is." Itachi replied blankly. He wanted nothing from Hidan, not even his thanks.

Hidan seemed to ignore this.

"It's just that I appreciate you breaking her in for me," he said with a laugh. "I honestly don't know how it would have worked otherwise. For a second there I thought maybe I was the first. Girl is tight, you know what I mean?"

Oh. So they were doing this.

Itachi just stared at him with that stone countenance.

Hidan, finishing laughing, shook his head in disbelief like he was just recalling the event all over again. "Hoo, anyway, thanks Uchiha." He grinned.

God, did Itachi want to leave him toothless so he couldn't smile like that anymore. He was not typically one for violence of that nature, but something about Hidan brought it out of him.

It was probably the way he was speaking of Izumi, like she was nothing more than a piece of meat for him to fuck. Itachi had been looking for something wrong with Hidan? Well, there it was. He was right back to distrusting his intent.

He had to play this right, though.

"I'm… glad I could help." Itachi sounded like he was being careful with his words. A controlled edge to them.

Oh, and Hidan knew it. There was a tiny twitch of the Uchiha's eye–barely perceptible. But Hidan could be perceptive when he wanted, and yeah, he wanted .

That little rip in Itachi's frigid veneer? Hidan honed in on it like a seasoned seamstress. One loose thread, nearly imperceivable, threatening to undo everything if someone just pulled hard enough.

Hidan wanted to be that someone.

Unfortunately for Itachi, Hidan had quite the impressive resume when it came to thread pulling, considering his partner.

"Yeah, you know, I usually prefer my women a bit more experienced , but Izumi, man… I gotta hand it to her, she's a quick fucking learner–pun intended," Hidan noted with a smile. "Yeah, I can do puns too," he followed up.

What a ridiculous man. Itachi was nearing the end of his limit listening to him speak about her the way he was.

"Is there a particular reason we're discussing this, Hidan?" Itachi asked, not sure how long he could keep up the callous ruse.

The tear grew longer, threads unraveling in quick succession. Hidan's expression led Itachi to believe he was well aware of the thin line being walked. In fact, it seemed to amuse Hidan to no end.

When Hidan spoke it was like they were friends, a heavy hand slapping against Itachi's shoulder. "Just trying to bond with you now that we have something in common. Fucked the same girl, after all. We're penis bros now! I'm just having a go at being a nice guy , that's all. I think that's what Izumi would want." Hidan smiled, sharp and calculated.

"Mm, perhaps I can offer you a tip," Itachi said coolly.

"Not the same one you offered Izumi, I hope," Hidan quipped back, brow raised.

Itachi ignored this.

"A 'nice guy' would not speak about her the way you are, currently."

"Oh, that's funny." Hidan's eyes took on a strange quality–equal parts giddy and murderous. "You see, I thought you were going to tell me I should fuck her and just immediately turn around and tell her fuck off. I was gonna do that, but it's really only worth it if she's a virgin. How'd that work out for you, by the way?" Hidan asked, feigning genuine interest.

Itachi could only stare as his mind scrambled for some sort of defense.

"I mean, when she told me that ," Hidan whistled and shook his head, "I knew you were cold, but damn, dude."

Again, no defense. He fell back on his signature stoic look. It did not feel like a sufficient response.

"Say, you wanna know the difference between you and me?" Hidan offered like he had some sage advice coming Itachi's way. Itachi steeled him to remain reactionless.

"I pray there is more than one..." Itachi managed to say without much inflection.

"You act like you're so much fucking smarter than me, but I'm not the fucking braindead dumbfuck that tossed her aside." Hidan's tenor went from a friendly jaunt to something harsh and stamping in an instant. He was a bull of a man, all things raging and mindless, nostrils flaring.

"I made the right decision for her," Itachi maintained. He shouldn't have said it. He didn't need to answer to him at all, but something about Hidan pushed him to justify himself.

What did Hidan know? He knew nothing. He had no idea why Itachi had to make the decisions he did or how heartbreakingly difficult it was to do so.

Something got set off in Hidan. It was plain and twisting on his face. They'd gone from talking to bellowing once Hidan opened his mouth again.

"You fucking shattered her! I'm still picking up the fucking pieces!" Hidan pushed up into Itachi's space, towering over him and jamming his finger into his chest. "And I'll fucking do it until she's whole, but fuck you . She'll never say it, she'll never even think it because she's too good , but that doesn't mean you don't need to hear it. Fuck you, you slimey fucking piece of shit."

That last time they were this close they were tangled up together, crying over Izumi's death. Now Hidans' finger slammed into Itachi's chest with each word like he was pounding out a procession of angry notes on a piano. A song of war, it was.

So odd, how things play out.

Itachi just stood there and took the verbal lashing, not turning from Hidan's gaze. He did not like the things Hidan was saying, he did not want to know the details of how he'd broken Izumi. It was selfish and weak, but he really didn't.

His sharingan pulsed, the tomoes whirling faster. It was unintentional, though the knee-jerk reaction set a predatory blaze to glint across Hidan's eyes.

"Fucking do it ," Hidan provoked, his voice burning, jaw pushing forward in challenge.

Itachi stared back. Fuck. He should not have done that. Where was his control? Nowhere in sight. Must have been hiding with all his halfway decent rebuttals.

Hidan somehow managed to push into Itachi's space even further, their chests nearly touching, and his voice was practically a growl as he began to berate Itachi once more.

"There is not one single fucking thing you can show me that's worse than any of the shit I've already seen, Uchiha." Itachi's name spat from Hidan's mouth like something bitter, and he punctuated it with another jab of Itachi's chest.

Itachi resisted the urge to close his eyes and shield his face from the spit flying from Hidan's enormous mouth as he continued to lambast him.

"I've seen her fucking face when she thinks I'm gonna leave her because that's what you fucking did! I've calmed her down when she thinks she's fucking worthless because that's how you fucking made her feel! I've seen her fucking dead ! What the fuck are you gonna do with that fancy eye shit, huh?!"

There would definitely be a bruise on Itachi's pectoral in a matter of hours if it wasn't there already. Hidan was jabbing him like he was physically trying to get to his heart with one finger alone.

Part of Itachi wanted to call his bluff. He was confident he could conjure up something worse. He could make Hidan see himself killing her over and over. He could make it so that he'd have to feel the life drain out of her, her fragile neck beneath his fingers, her pulse failing, maybe the popping noise her spine might make.

He could force Hidan to do it despite everything in him screaming to let her go.

But he wouldn't do that. For Itachi to do such a thing, he'd have to imagine it himself in great detail, and that was nothing he wanted to think about, nothing he deemed worth the result, which would just be a drooling Hidan, hardly different from usual.

No, the bigger part of him thought he very much deserved this screaming, spitting punishment, discontented as he was that it had to come from Hidan of all people. He would take it though, it felt like some sort of due recompense.

"You wanna know how fucking scared she was after our first time?" Hidan laughed wildly without humor.

No. No, Itachi really didn't. He also didn't want to think about their first time .

"You should have seen the fucking look on her face. It pisses me the fuck off that you didn't have to fucking look at it. I did. I hope you eat shit, Uchiha. I hope it fills you up until you choke on it, until it comes out of your fucking nose and every stupid fucking hole on your stupid fucking face."

It was certainly quite a visual, as always with Hidan. Perhaps it didn't check off his 'filled with shit' requirement, but the death part would come soon enough. Hidan would be a happy man in less than a year at least.

Itachi had nothing but silence on his side after all of that, though.

Somewhere in the distance Kisame was saying, "oh boy," and rushing over with an Izumi flapping around in his arms.

Itachi knew he probably shouldn't have been shocked by this unhinged explosion on Hidan's part, but he still was. Even more shocking than that… how on earth was he getting verbally cornered by Hidan of all people?

"That's what I fucking thought," Hidan growled, face inches from Itachi's. "I don't want to hear your martyr bullshit anyway, going on about how you fucked her over for her own good. Give me a fucking break. I may be a prick, but at least I don't pretend to be anything else." He punctuated it with a rough shove to Itachi's shoulders, forcing him back against the cliffside.

Izumi was shrieking for them to stop in the distance. Kisame was fast, but going much slower than usual to avoid jostling her guts around too badly. Even so, she looked like a doll bobbing about in his arms.

Hidan fisted into Itachi's shirt to keep him pinned there, his other arm winding back to strike. He held it steady as he spoke, voice descending into a dangerously low register. "Oh, and one last thing, Uchiha. She may not notice the way you still look at her, but I fucking do. You had your shot and you fucked it up. You fucked her up. So consider this your one and only goddamn warning, you absolute fucking taint smear."

He'd not been called that one yet–kudos to Hidan for creativity. Itachi braced for impact.

His instinct urged him to obliterate Hidan. Burn him with black flame. Reduce him to a scattered pile of ashes so devoid of life that not even he could come back from it. Alas, he knew better than to do that. Itachi was willing to accept this undeniably deserved punishment after what he'd done, even if he did loathe the fact that it was being delivered by Hidan of all people.

Besides, a hit from Hidan couldn't be that bad, he thought.

It happened fast . Hidan's fist cracked against Itachi's jaw, which in turn did some cracking of its own.

The earth seemed to tip on its axis, all sense of equilibrium lost on impact. It was a swelling, crushing blow. One that put the taste of copper in Itachi's mouth and tested the pain receptors that ran along his jawline–in fine working order. Nerve endings fired in chaotic protest. Ears rang. Vision waned, reducing to areas of light.

As it turned out, a hit from Hidan was much worse than he thought.

The collision of bone on bone had been loud and raw. It paired well with Izumi shrieking for them to cease in the background.

She didn't sound far, but Itachi's already ailing vision was not exactly at peak performance as lights seemed to flash behind his retinas. Had Hidan not had him pinned, he wasn't sure he would have stayed on his feet as his head continued to swim.

Hidan's breath gusted against Itachi's ear. "I'm not gonna stop at one next time, Uchiha."

Notes:

For clarification, in case it was lost on anyone, Hidan is speaking very callously of Izumi in this and it is NOT AT ALL an indicator of his feelings towards her. He adores her, but this man will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get under Itachi's skin and take any opening he sees, even if that means making one himself.

Hidan IS drama, okay XD I love him but it's true

Anyhow! I know at one point quite a few people were saying Itachi needed a smack upside the head. Welp, this here's the best I can do. Hope that'll tide y'all over.

Soooo are we feeling bad enough for Itachi at this point? Is this enough punishment for his crime? XD

Thanks for reading as always! 3

Chapter 52: Quakin' In My Boots

Notes:

I've been working on some new cover art, hope you guys like it :3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The world shook in its frame as I bounced in Kisame's arms, watching Hidan poised to strike Itachi with his fist drawn back.

You leave them alone for three freaking seconds and… seriously?!

In hindsight, I supposed I should have somehow known better, given Hidan's record high disdain for Itachi. Better yet, I probably shouldn't have spilled the beans to begin with.

Too late now.

Far too late, really, as the impact of Hidan's fist on Itachi's face could be heard even over Kisame's pounding footsteps and in between my screaming.

"Shit," Kisame hissed.

Then we were upon them. No time for a gentle stop.

He half set, half tossed me to the side as he continued to rush up. I hit the ground unevenly, unable to catch my balance, falling hard enough to stain my knees and palms green and dig a few rocks into them.

I wasn't worried about that though–just a touch more concerned with Kisame now wrenching Hidan off Itachi like he was a rabid mutt, lifting him into the air by his neck and slamming him into the ground hard enough to crack the earth. Itachi slid down the unhewn stone, slumping unceremoniously against it.

It felt like I was in a nightmare. Like it was all happening in slow motion, yet somehow too fast at the same time.

Itachi was in a daze, vaguely watching from the ground as Kisame's forearm came to bar against Hidan's throat. He roared at him to calm down, stop struggling, but the arm crushing his trachea triggered a wild, defensive response instead, which only made Kisame harsher on him.

He pressed hard. So hard. Enough for the blood vessels in Hidan's face and eyes to begin bursting as he strained against the pressure, spitting and hissing like an adder.

Helpless–more like useless. That was how I felt as I watched, just wanting for it all to stop . To have the strength to pull Kisame off Hidan. To scramble over to Itachi and make sure he was okay.

Oh, Hidan. He looked rabid. I just wanted to take his face into my hands, press my forehead to his. Shush him. Tell him it was okay, whatever it was. Calm him enough to figure out what the heck even happened. His face was screwed up with so much pain as Kisame didn't let up, and so, he in turn did not stop fighting.

My eyes prickled, vision blurring as I watched the pair violently grapple. Between the two of them, Kisame was much larger. In a contest of raw strength, with Hidan on his back and Kisame pinning him down, it was Hidan that had his head slammed repeatedly into the ground–sickening to watch. Especially as a trail of crimson leaked from his ears, painting the grass red.

Hidan seemed entirely uncaring of this as he fought back, clawing at Kisame's grip, teeth bared and bloodied, growling, thumbs moving to find Kisame's eyes and pushing.

So, you gonna do something or what?

Everything in me was telling me to put an end to this madness. Useless as I was, I had to try, right? Right.

"Stop!" I burst out, clamoring to my feet in a rush. "You're hurting him!" And the statement was true regardless of which one I'd meant it for.

Bounding over, I grabbed onto Kisame's shoulder, prying at him with all my might, screaming through my tears for him to stop once more.

Kisame's head whipped to meet my gaze and the look on his face was something I'd never seen or forget. It was not the Kisame I knew–a snarky but gentle giant. Someone who had cared for me on many occasions. It was feral, wild and snarling with razor sharp teeth.

Oh. I'd become complacent. Forgetful. Foolish.

Far too comfortable in my makeshift home with these men to remember what they really were. I'd somehow forgotten I was nothing but an infant wave caught in a savage ocean. Violence was what they knew–an instinct.

Kisame's attempts to calm Hidan were merely roared commands combined with the repetitive smash of his skull against the ground when he didn't listen.

That wasn't how Hidan worked though. Violence would only beget violence with him, and accordingly, he needed a tender hand to soften him. Tender would not be a word I'd associate with Kisame for a very long time.

He bellowed for me to get back, shoving me off with a harsh roll of his shoulder and a swiping arm, voice booming so loud it made me shrink and immediately obey. I staggered back and fell on my ass, shaking hands flying to cover my mouth as I stared wide-eyed, truly terrified of Kisame for the first time since the day I'd met him.

Tears spilled over in excess, my face souring. It felt like my ability to breath was impeded by the knot caught in my throat. I choked out some awful noise in an attempt to get rid of it.

Kisame stared a moment longer, his face dropping with realization and his arm weakening against Hidan's throat.

"Shit. Iz… No, I didn–" He was suddenly cut off by a swath of zipping threads, a hand attached at the end. I'd been so focused on the horrific scene that I hadn't even noticed Kakuzu and Deidara arrive. Lucky was flopping madly behind them, trying to catch up.

Kakuzu was sharp-minded and analytical, and he was quick to put those detachable hands to use, shifting the pieces on this gameboard to his liking. I felt myself being torn back, dragged far away like a little kid that had gotten too close to the action. As soon as Kisame was thrown off balance and onto his back, Kakuzu was yanking a violently coughing Hidan behind him. "What the hell is going on here?!" he growled.

Kisame was up in a flash, and if he still wanted to get to Hidan, that wasn't going to happen. Kakuzu had postured himself between them.

"Your fucking dog got off his leash, that's what!" Kisame growled back, pointing at a groaning Hidan on the ground that held his head like he was trying to push the pieces of his skull back together.

It was so foreign to see Kisame wound up, not a hint of humor to him, chest flaring and muscles tight, fully prepared to use them at any given moment. The tension was building once more. I hated it.

Just breathe.

I hadn't realized I stopped. It felt like I was sucking in huge sheets of air too thick to fit down my throat.

"It's done–over," Kakuzu asserted, and it was finite, leaving no room for deliberation as he held Kisame's gaze unblinkingly. "Focus on your partner, not mine." Itachi was still on the ground but shifting to get up.

Lucky finally caught up them, clumsily leaping atop Hidan and basing himself squarely on his chest, threads raised in alarm like hackles along his back. His mouth fell open, an odd hissing noise emitting from it as he hunkered down, glaring up at Kisame.

Kisame's eyes fell to examine the thing for a brief moment, clearly trying to puzzle it out before shaking it off and staring back at Kakuzu. "It's only over because Itachi had the restraint to not destroy him. You should be fucking thanking him right now, not–"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Hidan interjected, hoarse and pushing to his feet, grabbing Lucky off him to hold like a suitcase at his side–a hissing, floundering suitcase. "I'd like to see him fucking try!"

"Hidan," Kakuzu warned, his arm shooting out to hold him back.

"Guys, please." The words choked out of me with about as much stopping power as a pillow. There was no way they even heard me from where I was.

Kisame threw his head back with a hearty laugh. "Hidan, you're damn lucky Kakuzu has some sense. If there was one person in this world that could kill you, I'd place my bet on Itachi."

Hidan growled low in his throat, chest expanding against Kakuzu's outstretched arm. His partner shot him a look to stand down before stepping closer to Kisame himself. Voice dropping into a gravelly tenor, low and dangerous, Kakuzu warned, "Hidan may be underestimating Itachi, but you are making the same mistake. Best to drop this."

There was a brief moment of Hidan just staring at Kakuzu in a daze, taken aback by the implication. Hidan never received praise from him. And while it wasn't given directly, merely growled as some vague and fleeting threat to Kisame, it was something. A shred of acknowledgment, and even a distance away I could see him trying to process the rush of pride.

But this only made Kisame laugh harder. Hidan's face twisted as he began slinging threats and insults at the shark man. Kakuzu grounded himself to restrain him. Lucky hissed louder, thrashing about in Hidan's grip. Itachi was now up and approaching which drew Hidan's ire further.

Everything was coming to a head, building faster than my manic heartbeat. I could practically hear the swelling crescendo of ominous music, and when it reached the peak, all hell would break loose. I just knew it. My ability to breathe was lost, merely replaced by useless gasping.

" P-please," I wheezed, feeling like my entire body was overheating.

I couldn't pull my eyes off the nightmare scene which Deidara had now joined, pulling at Hidan's shoulder after Kakuzu barked at him to assist. It was too much yelling. All people I loved, all ready to tear each other's throats out. And over what ?

"Guys, stop it!" I pleaded, managing to be louder that time, but so were they, and I was drowned out all the same. Pathetic.

Hands cupping at my elbows, nails digging in as I watched in horror, praying to every God for them to just stop. I knew better than to rely on divine intervention though, and as a rush of chaotic energy bubbled in my gut, I felt far too small to contain it.

Hidan was now actually trying to get past Kakuzu, and when he couldn't, he whipped Lucky at Kisame's face. Lucky seemed ecstatic to be tagged in, instantly shooting his threads out to wrap around Kisame's very thick neck. Chaos ensued, both on the battlefield and inside my skull.

I couldn't allow this to happen. These were my favorite people-my only people.

Red in the face and hands shaking, I shrieked. It burst from me with wretched force, "All of you, STOP IT!"

It was nearly enough to make me lose balance as I stamped my foot against the ground, pounding it with every ounce of effort I had boiling inside me. Earth fractured and shook. A hairline shocked through the terrain like lightning, striking straight toward and zipping between the opposing Akatsuki members.

It started as a fine line beneath my heel, barely there, a mere crack in the shell. But with a sudden deafening noise, it split wide, tremors railing through the earth as it opened up.

So maybe I'd accidentally created a massive fissure with a hefty side of earthquake. Good. If this was how I needed to separate them, then so be it. I didn't have time to be shocked by my own actions.

Maybe later.

Yes, later I would look back on this and wonder how the heck I managed that, but for now I sunk my chakra into it, partially remembering what I'd learned, partially letting my body do as it pleased. Focusing on the gathering and flow of it, I gritted my teeth and twisted my heel into the ground.

Pouring out every. last. drop.

When the earth stopped shaking, all eyes–wide as they were–fell on me. A chasm now spanned between them. Hidan, Kakuzu and Deidara on one side. Lucky, Kisame and Itachi on the other.

They probably could have jumped it, shinobi and all, but their focus was no longer on murdering each other. It was on me.

Welp. That's one way to get their attention.

And now that I had it, I had some things to say. "You guys are acting like children! Fighting? Really?!" my voice broke from effort as I screamed at them, gesturing wildly, breathing even more wildly. The ground continued to shake with residual tremors as I spiraled into a tantrum.

Kisame cleared his throat in preparation to say something. Hidan was sputtering to rebuttal, still clearly reeling from the present situation. "He fucking–"

"I don't care what he fucking did!" I blared, choking partway through and ending on a sob. More earth crumbled as if to echo my sanity.

Whoa.

Everyone went dead silent. Deidara gaped and leaned into Hidan whispering, "Did… did Izumi just drop the F-bomb?"

Hidan slowly nodded with a thick swallow. They all just stared at my huffing, crying form as I screamed my lungs out the infamous convicted criminals for misbehaving a la fist fight.

It might have been comical under different circumstances. But right then? No. It really wasn't funny. They all looked on as if witnesses to a long-dormant volcano suddenly and unexpectedly erupting with fury.

"I c-can't have you all fighting like this! I–" My head felt all swimmy and my legs like tubes of jelly. I shook it off, hands raking through my hair. Earth continued to crack haphazardly, the gorge still growing with my anger. "I just got back!" I screeched, rubbing my too-hot face, swiping at the torrential downpour of angry tears. "I just got back…" it came out again, more desperate and pleading that time, choking off at the end. "Can't things be… o-okay?! For like t-two seconds? Please?"

Throwing my arms up in frustration, I swayed for a moment, which had all of the guys shouting at me, rushing over to the edge of the crater. They were all yelling over each other and it was hard to make out what they were saying, but it all seemed to be variations of the same thing.

"Baby, don't move!"

"Whoa stand still!"

"Stay where you are!"

"Izumi, please."

"Hey, kiddo, hold on!"

I stared at them in a daze, then down at the ground. There wasn't much of it.

Suddenly I realized what they were going on about as I found myself standing on a precariously narrow column of earth in the center of the chasm. One step in any direction would have sent me careening into its depths.

"Oh," I murmured. The effects of my outburst were hitting hard, energy sapping out of me, and suddenly I just wanted to take a nice nap. Looking back up at a shouting Hidan who had one hand fisted into his hair and the other slapping Kakuzu's shoulder, everything seemed to be at a slant, my vision blurring at the edges.

"I don't, um…" it was hard to keep a train of thought going with everything being so darn fuzzy. "Don't feel too good?" I finished with a mumble.

So sleepy… we take a good slee–

Perspective: The guys

"Get her get her get her!" Kisame was shouting from across the split. Hidan was yelling something in the same vein, still smacking wildly at Kakuzu's shoulder.

"I am!" Kakuzu growled, his hands already flying out as Izumi's puffy red eyes fluttered to a close. She had swayed and clipped back, only there was no 'back'. Her foot connected with nothing, and had Kakuzu's hands not wrapped around her as she began to freefall, the gorge was deep enough to not see the bottom and splat would have explained it well enough.

As soon as Izumi was yanked back to the safety of solid ground, Kakuzu grunted out Hidan's name and it was like they were back in their routine when she was in a coma. Hidan's name said like that was an order to assist, and Hidan immediately complied, sinking down to the ground.

Deidara came up from behind, his hand gripping Hidan's shoulder as he stared down at Izumi's limp body being laid out with her head resting on Hidan's legs.

"Is she okay?! What's wrong with her?!" Hidan was frantic in swiping the hair from her face.

"Would you give me a second?" Kakuzu scowled, doing what he could to maintain his composure enough for the both of them. With chakra laden hands, he sunk to his knees and began hastily checking her vitals.

By that point Kisame and Itachi had leapt across the gap to join Deidara and Hidan in watching Kakuzu carefully inspect Izumi.

"Why does she always have to be unconscious…" Itachi muttered to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose, and the sentiment was shared amongst the group. Whatever angry fervor had driven them all to battle before had since been replaced by the collective desire to just see this girl be okay.

Kakuzu breathed out. There was some relief in it.

"Well?!" Hidan was quick to question. "She's not comatose again, is sh–"

"She's fine. Chakra depletion. It was just too much for her all at once–remember she's still early in recovery from the last incident."

Hidan let out a shaky breath, mumbling, "Yeah, I remember…" as he folded over to rest his forehead against her.

Kisame ran a shaky hand through his hair, looking behind them to survey the damage. Itachi stood at his side mirroring him. They shared a dumbfounded expression, eyes traveling from end to end of the newly created canyon. It was enormous, and with one glance at the tiny girl it came from, there was nothing but shame.

A trench cutting through the earth in such a fashion was not at all unusual in the context of a battle between shinobi. But that was not the case. This was the raw essence of Izumi's frustration. A physical manifestation of her concerns–her pain.

Her pain caused by them. Shameful.

To think how she must have felt to be driven far enough to literally split the earth to save them from each other… to pour her entire being into it, shake the ground without a care for own well-being just to stop them.

On second thought, shameful barely scratched the surface.

"It's okay, baby girl. I'm right here." Hidan was whispering to her nonstop, smoothing her hair, rubbing her arms. "I'm right next to you. I have you in my arms, okay? If you can feel me, I'm not letting go. You're gonna be fucking fine, I promise."

"Hidan, she's not in a coma, just passed out. She can't hear you," Kakuzu reminded.

"How the fuck do you know?!" he snapped, and it might have come off as anger if the fear wasn't so present in his eyes.

It made Kakuzu hesitate in his reaming. Instead he took a deep breath and expelled it with a huff. "Because I have studied it well. Just trust me for once, Hidan."

Hidan's mouth was taut and thin as he stared down at Izumi's inert form. It curved into a deeper scowl even as he nodded, like he was trying and failing to believe Kakuzu's words.

"She just…" he cut himself off. Something to do with a lump in his throat. With a hard swallow he managed to press on. "It was really hard on her, y'know? Like it can't happen again. It seriously can't."

And when Hidan said it was hard on Izumi, that was true, but Kakuzu read between the lines enough to know he was talking about more than just her that couldn't handle it again.

"Hidan." Kakuzu's voice took on a serious, even tenor, and he laid a hand on his shoulder. "She is fine. It's over-expenditure of chakra. She needs rest. That's all."

Hidan looked between Izumi's peaceful, slack expression, up to Kakuzu, and back to her, nodding once more with a little less mania. "Yeah… Yeah, okay."

"Shit, dude," Deidara whispered, shaking Hidan by the shoulder to get his attention. His eyes darted up to see Deidara's wide and fixed ahead. Following the line of sight, he landed on Pain who was standing across the chasm, eyeing it with a ticked brow.

"Fuck," Hidan agreed under his breath as he gathered Izumi into his arms and stood, muttering, "Pretty sure he doesn't want her fucking around like that." This was about to become a whole thing.

"Hm. Don't worry, I got this, yeah?" Deidara murmured with an assuring back pat before skipping up to the opposite side of ledge. "Hey there, Boss!" he shouted across with a wave. "Nice day, yeah?"

"For an earthquake, apparently," he replied curtly. "Would someone care to explain this?" Pain gestured to the massive split in the earth. There was a brief look exchanged between the others, and it was evident that no, no cared to explain it at all.

"I uh, I think it's called a chasm," Deidara offered so genuinely it should have been illegal.

Pain deadpanned. "Yes, Deidara. Thank you. And how did the chasm get here?"

Another awkward glance. No one wanted to snitch on Izumi. It wasn't as if she was suspiciously unconscious, drained of chakra and dangling between Hidan's arms or anything.

Kisame stepped up, putting on a smile and rubbing the back of his neck as he peered down into the fissure. "Hm, we haven't been at this base long. You sure it wasn't like this before?"

"Positive."

"That's so weird, because I could have sworn this was here the other day…"

Pain's patience was wearing thin, as evidenced by the tightening of his eyes which shot to Kakuzu. "Kakuzu. I trust you have the sense to tell me what's going on here."

Kakuzu glanced sidelong at Deidara and Kisame, silently seething over the fact that they'd started one of the stupidest ruses he'd ever been dragged into. Stepping up to the cavity's edge, feigning an interest in examining it, he was short and stoic in answering, "It does seem familiar."

Kisame gave him a lowkey approving look and Kakuzu did all he could not to scoff. Imbeciles, all of them. Meanwhile Pain looked like he was ready to disband The Akatsuki right then and there. Glancing at Izumi's body flopped between Hidan's arms, then the gorge, he sighed. "Izumi made the hole, didn't she?"

There was a collective muttering amongst them in realizing the jig was up, admitting yes, Izumi might have made the hole.

"But it wasn't her fault," Itachi added quickly. He'd been so quiet and standing in Kisame's shadow that Pain hadn't paid him any mind before.

"Itachi," he addressed, scrutinizing him with a squint from the other side. "What happened to your face?"

"I was… sparring," he lied, knowing full well that he looked like a swollen, bruised mess. People didn't usually go for the face like that in a simple spar.

Pain raised a brow at Kisame.

"Hey, don't look at me. I didn't do that shit," Kisame denied with a flippant wave of his hand gesturing to Hidan. It took all of about half a second for Pain's eyes to land on the reddened knuckles curling around Izumi.

"Hidan landed a punch on you, Itachi?" Pain inquired, his eyebrow cocked nearly into his hairline

"Hey, don't sound so fuckin' surprised!" Hidan yelled over Kisame's snickering.

Kakuzu shot him a commanding look. "Hidan, do not get riled up while you're carrying her." Hidan scowled with begrudging submission, kicking at a loose rock with a scoff.

"Speaking of which," Pain began, a cold severity to both his expression and his cadence. "I'd like to know how she managed this chasm… and why she's like that yet ag–" he halted, snapping his eyes down to see some creature happily tying his ankles together with messy threads pouring from its mouth. It seemed to mindlessly bumble about like it had a song stuck in its head.

"What is this…" Pain asked, impassive and trying awkwardly to step out of the threads which were actually quite thick and fibrous.

"Oh yeah!" Kisame interjected, "I was kinda wondering the same thing. Seemed like a bad time to ask earlier, but uh, yeah, the fuck is that?"

Kakuzu sighed. "It's one of my hearts. It can't live inside me anymore so get used to it."

"Ohhh, gotcha." Kisame nodded, appraising the little bugger. "Kinda small, no?"

Kakuzu waved a dismissive hand in the air. "It's not one of my main hearts. It's not even human. Remember that fish?"

"So it's not a dog, interesting…" Kisame mused to himself. Itachi squinted at him.

"Ohhh from the festival?!" Deidara chimed in.

Pain was doing what looked like a funny little dance as he tried to untangle his ankles from the persistent critter's threads. "Kakuzu," he called out, an order for him to call off his dog so-to-speak.

"Yeah," Kakuzu confirmed to Deidara, glossing over Pain's predicament. "Back in Jomae"

Itachi hummed, analyzing the creature. "That's very interesting. Have you developed an animal heart like this before?"

Kakuzu shook his head.

"Kinda cute," Kisame speculated thoughtfully. "Those threads really are a bitch though, little fucker got my neck earlier."

Kakuzu scoffed, "I don't have much control over it." It was the closest to an apology Kisame would get.

Kisame just laughed, still watching the thing fuck with an increasingly perturbed Pain. "Yeah it's fine, looks like he's just having his fun–"

"Kakuzu," Pain growled, gesturing impatiently at the beast.

"Fun is a word for it. And don't tell Izumi it's cute, she doesn't need the validation," Kakuzu muttered to Kisame who laughed loud enough to drown out the breathy amusement snorting out of Itachi.

"You should probably do something about it," Itachi suggested casually.

"Probably," Kakuzu agreed with a sigh. "Come here, creature," he finally ordered without much enthusiasm. It paused and stared at Kakuzu with those hollow, bulbous eyes before going right back to being a little shit.

"Maybe you gotta use his name," Hidan said, stepping up from behind.

"It has a name?" Kisame asked, head cocked at Kakuzu who groaned with frustration and gestured to Izumi. It was explanation enough.

"Oh, yeah!" Deidara said. "Iz was showing him around before. It's Lucky, right?"

"Yeah!" Hidan laughed. "Izumi named him. You should have been there when I first saw the little dude. Thought it was a fucking animal or something, nearly punted it into oblivi–"

"Whatever it is, call it off now before I see that it leaves this world," Pain yelled over to them.

With a look of disdain, Kakuzu called out the name 'Lucky' and the response was as immediate as it was hyperactive and lacking in coordination. He jerked his head to look over at Kakuzu, padded his flippers on the ground excitedly and promptly leapt off the edge of the cliff.

It did not come anywhere close to making the jump.

"Shit," Deidara winced as it tumbled into the abyss, happy as a clam. Kisame and Itachi both cringed, peering over the edge trying to see the damage.

"Fuck!" Hidan shouted, hugging Izumi against him tightly as he looked too, groaning, "Aw shit, Izumi's gonna be so upset."

Kakuzu pulled a hand down his face. It wasn't the end of the world, but yes, it was an inconvenience, and yes, Izumi would be so upset.

Pain, who didn't look the least bit thrown by the turn of events, leapt over the crevice to join the others. "Why is Izumi unconscious?" he asked, blunt and to the point, beyond frustrated by all the distractions.

"Because she's an idiot," Kakuzu answered in a way he felt was both vague and truthful. It seemed to suffice for Pain.

"Fine. I'm going to forget about the chasm for now," he said, patience tested and gone. "You two," he nodded toward Hidan and Kakuzu, "Come with me for debriefing. I trust something came out of that job."

Hidan quietly mocked Pain when he wasn't looking and Deidara snorted out a laugh.

"Deidara." Pain redirected his attention and Deidara snapped upright, straightening out. "You seem bored. Take the girl inside. I also need to speak with Kisame and Itachi."

Deidara glanced to Hidan whose eyes were already on him. They exchanged an interesting look, like Hidan was appraising Deidara and Deidara was seeking approval.

"Do you mind?" Deidara ended up asking even though it had been an order, arms out and ready to take Izumi who was currently drooling against Hidan's chest. Hidan looked down at her, then at Deidara, the struggle of letting her go written all over his face.

The last time he left her with someone else, it didn't go so well.

Pain's eyes narrowed upon the two. "Is there a problem here?"

"No," Hidan spat.

"Hey man, I'll take good care of her, yeah?" Deidara assured, and with a scowling nod, Hidan handed her over.

"Yeah, you fucking bette–," Hidan halted mid-sentence to balk at the thing floating out from the chasm. "What in the actual fuck?"

"You have got to be shitting me," Kakuzu murmured, looking like he could not be any more done.

Lucky, surrounded by a big shiny bubble, crested up over the edge, flippers padding wildly as if he were in a giant hamster ball.

"Holy shit, the little dude has bubble release ?!" Kisame exclaimed, laughing.

Kakuzu just stared, gritting out his answer, "Apparently."

"That's quite impressive, Kakuzu," Itachi mused. "Extremely rare."

It was an absurdly rare jutsu, as Itachi pointed out, and Kakuzu cursed his luck. Of course he would manage to create the most annoying heart creature known to man, only to have it end up with an inordinate talent. Now he really couldn't destroy it on a whim.

Everyone watched as Lucky scrabbled along in the air until he floated above Kakuzu. The bubble popped and he thunked down atop his head with a happy warbling noise.

After a brief moment of silence and Kakuzu wearing a chirping Lucky like a hat, everyone but Pain burst out laughing. Even Itachi managed a little chuckle. The juxtaposition of the blissfully happy creature clinging atop the severely disgruntled face of Kakuzu was, in a word, ridiculous .

"Holy shit, I can't believe Iz missed that," Deidara cried, literal tears rolling down his cheeks as Lucky began leaking threads from his rear end down the back of Kakuzu's shirt.

Kakuzu stood there with a deep grimace and resigned himself to simply leave, directing Lucky to go with Izumi after tearing him off and spiking him into the ground. Lucky perked at the command, unfazed by the assault and launching after her and Deidara. Pain seemed to greatly appreciate this and ordered the others to follow him.

There in the meeting room, Kakuzu went over the mission details that he thought prudent–so no mentions of a brothel or his daughter–and Pain seemed pleased enough with the progress Izumi made. Itachi and Kisame listened as well, having been instructed that because of the success, they would likely be the next ones needing to bring her somewhere–barring complications.

"Hell yeah!" Kisame cheered. "Been forever since we've taken the little bean anywhere!" He was nudging Itachi in the ribs with an excited elbow like he should have been dancing on the table or something.

Regardless of any fluttering anticipation Itachi may have felt, there was no need to make a spectacle out of it. "When will that happen?" he asked.

"That depends on the next step. You'll need to schedule sessions with her, see if you can't put that sharingan to use. Siphon some more memories out of her using your sharingan and try to pin down a general location or even a region–anything helpful."

Itachi nodded, silently taking note of how Hidan seemed to seethe with a less than discrete glare from across the table. Surely he wasn't happy that Itachi would be taking the next leg of this race. Apparently that punch didn't get everything out of his system after all.

Hidan's legs bounced chaotically for the entire length of the meeting and he fidgeted with a kunai until Kakuzu took it away. He'd accidentally stabbed a little too deep without noticing–mind elsewhere–and Pain wasn't thrilled with the amount of blood getting all over the table. On the bright side it did make him wrap up more quickly.

Once adjourned, Itachi half-expected Hidan to lunge across the table in an attempt to kill him outright considering the looks he'd been giving, but no. His chair was squealing beneath him, nearly falling over as he tore from the room. It quickly became obvious.

He needed to see her.

Hidan rushed through the labyrinth of hallways with a ridiculous swagger, only halting his warpath upon the sight of her. It froze him in the living room entryway, leaning against it to take in the scene. One blanket-wrapped, sleeping Izumi rested her head on a couple pillows propped in Deidara's lap. His hand was on her shoulder, thumb idly rubbing as he read through some scrolls. Lucky was curled into a ball atop her belly like a little guard dog.

Deidara met Hidan's gaze and answered the wordless question written all over his face. "She's okay."

"Yeah?"

He nodded and kept his voice down. "She woke up at one point, was real worried about you. Tired herself out crying though, fell asleep after a bit."

Hidan sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. He pushed off the doorframe and strode over, carefully shifting her legs to sit beneath them. "You at least comforted her, I fucking hope."

Diedara sneered, pulling his head back enough for a few chins. "The fuck do you think I am? The fuck do you think this is?" he gestured to her snoozing form comfortably using him as a pillow.

"Hey I'm just checkin', man."

"Yeah, of course I did. Damn. And it's some risky ass business, by the way. If I comfort her too much, am I gonna end up with your fist in my face?"

"Pffft," Hidan sputtered, cracking a grin. "Two things. One–that ain't why I pushed his shit in. And B–I ain't worried about you."

Deidara laughed with a shake of his head. "God you're a dick. What the hell does she see in you, man?"

Hidan laughed too, throwing his head back onto the couch cushion. He just shrugged, blowing a raspberry into the air. "Don't know. Don't care. But I can tell you this, I ain't fuckin' a gift horse in the mouth." Izumi grumbled at this in her sleep before falling back into a soft, snoring rhythm.

"Dude… tell me you know that's not the fucking phrase."

Hidan just grinned, lolling his head to look over at him, not saying one way or the other.

Deidara snorted, "Idiot."

"Lucky for me, that's her type," Hidan said, looking down at her fondly. "Hm. If that's true though, maybe I oughta be more worried about you than I thought."

"Yeah, fuck you too," he bit back with no teeth, eyes dropping down to Izumi as well. Deidara looked contemplative as he opened his mouth to speak, but clapped it shut, thinking better of it.

"What ?" Hidan asked, raising a brow.

With an unsure tilt to his lips, Deidara looked up at him with a hum. "Mm… nah, forget it."

"C'mon. You have shit to say. I see it all over your smarmy face. Go on, I can take it."

"Ya know, normally I'd say you'd be right," he admitted with a chuckle. "But it wasn't really shit, yeah? Mighta been too nice, actually."

"Aw what the fuck," Hidan complained as quietly as he could. "Now you gotta tell me. I got like one person that says nice shit to me, c'mon man."

The two stared at each other in a stand off until Deidara let out a hefty sigh. "Fine."

"Yessss!" Hidan hissed victoriously, rubbing Izumi's legs in anticipation. "Okay, hit me with it. Give me that good shit."

"Dude, you are way overestimating what I consider nice. I was just gonna say I don't hate it, ya know."

Hidan stared, brows pinched, waiting for some kind of clarification as to what the fuck that meant.

"This," Deidara motioned between Izumi and Hidan. "It's better than that other douchecanoe. Guy got what he deserved if you ask me."

Hidan smirked. "Oh, you're talkin' bout the punch."

Deidara laughed. "That shit was wild. Dude folded like a lawn chair."

"Wild, yeah," Hidan mused, looking indulgent in his recollection. "He didn't really get what he deserved though. Got off fucking easy as far as I'm concerned."

"Oh? What'd he do anyway?"

"You seriously don't know?"

"Nah… Gossip was Sasori's deal. He'd be the one to tell me shit before, so now… well, you know." He grimaced but pulled his face together before it could give anything away. Or so he hoped.

"Damn. Yeah, that's right. Sorry, by the way. Don't think I ever said it."

Deidara snorted. "Yeah. Thanks. You didn't even like him."

Hidan shrugged. "Didn't hate him either. That's better than most."

"True," he sighed. "Yeah, not gonna lie it's kinda rough without him. Barely any gossip."

"Alright well since you're looking all pathetic about it, I'll fill you in. Give you the rough cut," Hidan said, lowering his voice to barely a whisper. "But before I do, I need you to just look at her."

Deidara blinked, giving Hidan a skeptical look before shifting down to Izumi who was looking just as she had moments before. "Okay…? Now what?"

"She's fucking adorable, right?" Hidan asked almost angrily.

"Yeah, obviously. We all know that."

"Yeah, but I mean really look at her, man!"

"What're you trying to do, rub it in? Like, I get it, you're dating her now. You won. Whatever, I'm over it."

"No, no, no–well? I mean, that doesn't suck to hear," he snorted with an arrogant little smirk. "Not the point though."

Deidara clicked his tongue, looking like he might throttle Hidan's neck any second now. "Well by all means, don't let me stop you from making it."

"Yeah, yeah. The point is, just look at her sleeping. Okay? Now, imagine you just slept with her for the first time and she's like this in your bed after."

Deidara deadpanned. "Hey asshole. I'm having a really hard time seeing how you can say this isn't rubbing it in."

Hidan bit his lip, trying not to laugh, holding up a hand for Deidara to be patient. "Okay yeah, but then, imagine picking her up, walking her out here and dumping her on the fucking couch."

"Wait–what?"

"Yeah. Imagine she's had such a fucking crush on you, and you take her fucking virginity before just…" Hidan shrugged incredulously, squeezing gently at Izumi's ankles, "just tossing her out here to wake up alone wondering what the fuck happened."

" No way ," Deidara hissed, snapping down to look at Izumi again, pushing an errant hair from her face.

Hidan nodded, "Yeah way. Dude is a fucking S-class dildo ."

"What the fuck!"

"Mhmm. And when she worked up the nerve to ask about it, the dude shit stomped her hard. Really messed her up, man."

Deidara shook his head, cringing at the thought and muttering, "Fucking Uchiha..."

"Yep. So like I said, he didn't really get what he deserved."

"At least he got something," Deidara murmured, rubbing Izumi's shoulder like he could somehow offer some retroactive comfort. "So how good did it feel?" He tilted his head to regard Hidan, a grin stretching across his face.

Hidan snorted, letting his head lean back and eyes flutter shut like he was high. "Fucking incredible."

The two tried hard to stifle their laughs, the memory of Itachi getting decked in the face apparently beyond hilarious to them. Not even Kakuzu's stern look was enough to stop them as he entered the room.

"That was an idiotic stunt you pulled today, Hidan," he reprimanded as he scrutinized Izumi from across the room.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "How long you been there?"

"Long enough."

"Pft, then don't act like you don't get it," Hidan sneered and Kakuzu ignored him expertly, shooing Lucky off the girl in order to give her a quick once over. The little beast floundered sleepily into Hidan's lap and plopped back down. Hidan barely seemed to notice as he launched right back into bitching about Itachi Uchiha.

"And get this, he's tryin' to play it off like it was for her own good. I don't fucking get it."

Deidara pulled a face. "Right? Like yeah, you don't deserve her either, but that's not stopping you."

"Fuck no it isn't!" Hidan doubled down with a startling amount of confidence. "Here's the thing, I fucking know she's too good for me. Only thing it makes me wanna do is be better though. Not fucking shit all over her."

"Damn dude," Deidara said, looking Hidan over thoughtfully. "I didn't even know you were capable of thinking that kinda thing."

Hidan laughed. "Hey, fuck you. But like, yeah… to be fair I didn't really know either."

"She's funny like that."

"She's also exhausted," Kakuzu cut in, reminding them he was there as he straightened out after finishing the impromptu wellness check. "Hidan, why don't you take her to bed."

No one argued that it was time to end that day. Lucky followed Hidan and Izumi into her room, curling up at the foot of the bed as Hidan crawled under the blankets beside the woman he tucked in so carefully.

"...Hidan?" Her voice came out soft and delirious, crackling from sleep.

"Shh, go back to bed, baby girl," Hidan whispered, pushing a kiss to her the crook of her jaw and squeezing her gently from behind. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

She promptly glossed over everything he said as she began to process she was in bed beside him. "Hidan... Hidan, are you okay!?" her tenor spiked with the urgency of finally getting to ask the question she'd been sitting on for hours.

He never could figure out why she worried about him like that. "Still immortal, sweetheart. So yeah, I'm okay."

"I didn't ask if you were alive. You can be alive without being okay," she argued tiredly, shifting around in his grasp to face him. "You really scared me today..."

He pinched his eyes shut, hating the disappointment in her voice. "How about we talk about it in the morning. I really want you to rest, baby," Hidan murmured, kissing her forehead and pulling her into his chest with big, sweeping backrubs.

"Okay… tomorrow. Promise?" she grumbled, nuzzling further between his pecs that cradled her face.

"Yeah... I know I was bad today. I'm gonna make it up to you. I promise."

She nodded and sighed into him, saying goodnight, that she loved him, kissing across his chest. It was something he desperately needed to be assured of and he absolutely reveled in her affection.

"Love you, sweetheart," he murmured into her hair. "So fucking much... I really am gonna make it up to you. Gonna take you on a date. A real one. Just like normal people. You and me, alright? None of this fucking drama. That sound okay to you?"

She made a muffled noise into his chest and he decided it meant fuck yes. It was a thought that popped into his head randomly, that he wanted to take her out. Of course he'd vocalized it the second it fired off in his brain, and he now laid awake wondering what the hell normal people even did on dates. He'd figure it out though. A problem for future Hidan.

Notes:

THANK YOU FOR READING!

Poor Izumi who HATES conflict is of course stuck with all these dramatic boys. I tell you what. Luckily she is also very forgiving :3

As always, I am a giant starving maw that loves to be fed with kudos, thoughts, predictions, theories and comments (or CONCERNS?) to keep me going. I appreciate all you readers still with me 3

Also I had to send 30k words to the graveyard because I decided to go in a different direction, please pray for my sanity.

Chapter 53: Good Morning*

Notes:

CW: Sexually explicit content

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I was up first, the soft noise of the door falling shut enough to rouse me. A trail of messy black threads disappearing beneath it told me Lucky figured out how to get out and was now off galivanting about the complex unsupervised.

That was going to have to be someone else's problem for a bit.

I laid on my side enjoying the heated cocoon of the blankets, just kind of staring at Hidan. He always looked so innocent when he slept. The devious angle of his brows smoothed into a peaceful curve above near-translucent eyelids. This close, I could see the faint purple veins spider-webbing beneath his pale skin and it made him look fragile against all odds. His mouth, which usually hung ajar to allow for some raspy snoring, was shut and relaxed, breaths puffing gently from his nose instead. The rise and fall of his sturdy chest was slow and steadfast. Between all that and the elegantly disheveled silver hair tickling across his forehead, he seemed at peace for once.

It was by far and wide, my favorite sight–a stark difference from the growling, bloodied, aching Hidan from the day before.

And his eyes, even in the ambient glow of the dimly lit room, seemed to shine brightl– hold on a sec .

I'd been admiring the little dimple on his chin for so long that I hadn't even realized he woke up and was staring right back, eyes snapped onto me with raised brows, looking amused.

"Y'know…" he yawned with a stretch and a crack of his shoulder. "If you weren't so beautiful, this would be seriously creepy. Feels like I'm dating Zetsu or some shit."

So much for at peace .

"I'm not as creepy as him!" I defended out of instinct, but yeah, maybe I was a slight creep. Baby creep.

"Mm, but she doesn't deny that she's beautiful. Fucking progress ."

"Listen," I huffed. "I don't even have to see what my hair is doing right now. I can feel it. And beautiful is not the word for it."

"Mm, denied. Plus you got these cute little crusties in the corners of your eyes," he teased, reaching out like he was going to freaking get them .

I gaped, swatting him away before violently rubbing my eyes. "Gross, Hidan! Don't touch them!"

"Why not?! They're adorable!" he attested, laughing and prying my arms away.

"Hidan!" I squealed, squirming with all the fervor of a hyperactive caterpillar which only made him laugh harder.

With a tilt of his head, he gave me an adoring smirk before rolling flat on his back and yanking me onto him, looping his arms around my waist to keep me there. "You never let me have any fun," he murmured.

I pulled back enough to give him as stern a look as I could muster. "After yesterday, I'm not sure I should ."

Yeah, he'd clearly been waiting for that. He winced, rubbing his face, running a hand through his hair. "Right. Yesterday. Talking about it."

"Yes, please."

"Mm, you sure you don't wanna do anything else? I could think of some things that might take your mind off it," he suggested with a bite of his lip and a push of his hips–positioned just beneath mine, by the way.

It very nearly derailed me, especially as his hands came to grab my sides and pull me down against him. But I was determined to be a mature adult for at least the first ten minutes of my day. I'd probably be exhausted after that and perhaps willing to revisit the subject, but for now I was focused.

"I don't want to take my mind off it. I want to get yours on it, Hidan."

He pouted, clearly disappointed in his seduction skills and apparently unaware of how close I'd come to careening off the rails–launching over a cliff to land with an orgasmic explosion in the heart of Hornyville, of which he was the mayor of course. The fullness of that pouty lip got me though, I couldn't resist taking his face into my hands and pressing my lips soft against his.

He met me with a throaty noise and an eager tongue, and I had to break it off nearly as quickly as I'd started it. God, he was tricky. He was tricky and he knew it, based on the devious little smirk and tongue running over his lip.

I admired his face with a sigh, petting his mussed hair into place. "Hidan…"

"Sweetheart."

" Talking ," I reminded.

"Hey, you started that one, baby girl."

"I–fine. I'll accept that. Now, what about what you started yesterday?" I asked, helplessly exasperated and I'd only been awake a few minutes.

He couldn't quite quell the roll of his eyes, or to be more accurate, he didn't even try. "Pft. Technically I didn't start shit," he grumbled, and I gave him a discerning purse-lipped look. "The guy fucked around and found out. Is that really so bad?!"

"Hidan… what does that even mean ?"

"It means he fucked with the wrong girl– my girl–and he found out that was a very bad idea. Simple as, sweetheart."

"What are you talking about?" I pressed, racking my brain for any offensive quip Itachi slung my way the previous day and coming up with nil. "He was perfectly polite!"

"Baby, I ain't talkin' about what he did to you yesterday ." He gave me a pointed look.

"Oh, so… oh …" I paused. Processing. Realizing.

"Yeah. You know what he did, and you know he deserved that shit."

"Hidan, that was so long ago!" I balked.

He shrugged. "Recent enough for it to still affect you."

"Well–" I sputtered, knowing he wasn't technically wrong . "Well that's on me ! You promised you'd be able to be okay about it when I told you!"

"No," he was quick to correct. "I said I wouldn't kill him, and unfortunately I kept my word."

I shook my head, pleading with my eyes for him to have a better answer than that. "Hidan… this is not making me feel better. How am I supposed to trust that you won't do it again if you're not sorry at all?"

"Hey. Look at me," he said, brows pinched as he searched my face. "Decking that Uchiha in the face was just about one of the most satisfying things I've ever done in my life–"

"Hida–"

"BUT–" he interjected, "–it wasn't worth what it put you through." He stretched to kiss my cheek, murmuring against it, "I am sorry, sweetheart."

I sighed, closing my eyes, enjoying the warmth of his lips against my skin. "You mean that?"

"Course I do," he assured, punctuating it with a peck. "Just to be super clear though, I'm not sorry for pushing his pretty, fuckboi face in. Just for pissing you off so bad that you actually said the fuck word and opened up a goddamn burial ground for our dumb asses."

Hidan may have had a silver tongue, but lord was it tarnished. I choked on a laugh even though it shouldn't have been funny, and he did not need the encouragement.

"I kinda flew off the handle, didn't I?" I asked, wincing.

"Baby, you fucking yeeted off it so hard. It was insane –" He paused for a kiss, "–and hot as hell." Another kiss. "And please don't ever fucking do it again, you gave me like five fucking heart attacks. I swear." Another five kisses, one for each cardiac arrest apparently.

Pft. Because he's never any cause for concern? Pot, meet kettle.

I wanted to be mad still, stern for at least a little longer, but God did he make me weak. Staring up at me, his expression still begging the question of forgiveness, all I could do was sigh. "I promise I won't if you promise me that you won't hurt Itachi again. Or get yourself hurt! That was horrible to watch, Hidan. It really was. I had my own heart attacks, you know, and I'm not immortal."

His brows knit, face awash with guilt. "I know…"

"I just… I can't handle this stress. I feel so out of control already. Scared of the stupidest stuff–the dark, these nightmares? I can't stop wondering which corner Orochimaru is going to be hiding behind. I worry about everything and I just can't worry about you and Itachi too. I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to take the stress but–"

"I know, baby," he said, cutting me off with a kiss. "I know. Don't be sorry. Don't you be fucking sorry. I promise, okay? I won't do it again. I'm done. It's out of my system. You don't need to worry about me."

"Okay…" I accepted, biting my lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"I'm an open book, sweetheart."

"Did the, um… did the voices have anything to do with it?"

The question alone colored him with a certain intensity, the curious tilt of his brows leveling into a stern line. He was hard to read like this–a rarity–and it was an answer all on its own.

"They might have egged me on a bit," he admitted after a moment of hesitation, quick to follow up in a rush. "But you shoulda heard the shit they wanted me to do! I was a fucking saint compared to that! They wanted me to go sooo much further, baby you don't even know. They wanted me to–to fucking–" he halted, thinking better of continuing on. "Look, it doesn't matter because I didn't do it, okay? I swear I fought it. Most of it, anyway." He was rambling, nearly tripping over his words as he spit them out fast, wanting to make sure I knew he wasn't just some lost cause.

Ugh. This man. He was just staring up at this with this ill-fitting shame, anxiously awaiting a response like a puppy that made a whoopsie and thought maybe, just maybe that was going to be the one that got him sent back to the kennel. I could only look at him, trying to hide my pity–he wouldn't want it–just wishing I wasn't so useless in helping him.

"Oh, Hidan…" I murmured, reaching to press a kiss to his forehead.

"I don't wanna be like this, baby. I swear… I don't want to be your fucking burden."

"I know. I know you don't, and you're not . We're going to figure this out together, okay? I'm just glad you're alright."

"I'm fine. I'm always fine."

"Mhm. And how is Itachi?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Pretty boy is fine too." This news was apparently painful for him to relay based on his expression. "Ugh… he just made me so fuckin' mad . And they were so loud . And I thought about what he did and I just fuckin–"

"I know, I know, Hidan," I cut in, hands on his cheeks, pulling him into another kiss. If that was all I could do, then I would do it a thousand times. "But it's over. They're quiet now, right?"

"Yeah… they're quiet," he sighed, smoothing down my hair, his smile returning. "Don't know what I'd do without you."

"Good thing you won't have to find out."

"Mm, speaking of good things, you gonna let me say good mornin' to you properly?" he trailed off with a less-than-subtle roll of his hips, making it blatantly clear how good of a morning it could be.

I let out a flustered noise that was supposed to be an unaffected laugh. "Hidan… I-I don't know."

"What?" he teased, keeping himself pressed against me so I had no choice but to feel the gradual swell of him. "You think I'd take it like a uh, a reward for my delinquent behavior or somethin'? Hm? Worried I won't learn my lesson?" Another press, prodding for an answer among other things...

"I-I mean… kind of? Yes?" That was pretty close to holding my ground, right?

Sure, dear. Sure.

"Then don't," he said, looking at me very seriously, eyes flitting across my face with a certain excitement like he just had a stroke of genius. "Don't reward me, baby. Punish me ."

"Wh-what?!" I knew Hidan needed to manage his sexual expectations of me, but this? Hah. This was reaching . Imagining me in like… leather stuff? With whips and spikes and things? I almost burst out laughing at the thought.

Oh the cringe.

"Yeah," he said, nodding fervently, further convincing himself and only himself that this was a great idea. "Yeah, it doesn't have to be like that for me, baby. I don't need to come, not if you don't let me."

"If I don't let you? Hidan, what… what are you even talking about?"

"Sweetheart…" he murmured, hands running down my back and cresting over my bottom. Each palm huge and spanning over my cheeks which he seized firmly with a possessive shake, pulling me against him to meet another urge of his hips. He was hard beneath me now, pressed flush to the junction of my hip and he shifted me over just slightly, just enough to nudge directly against my center and– oh God .

The feeling shallowed my breath, tugged heavy at my eyelids. If he was trying to seduce me, it was working.

"I'll fuck you good , baby girl. Give you the wake up you deserve..." He paused, wearing this doting look like he'd never had a better idea. "And you… you just enjoy it for as long as I can hold out, and just when I'm about to lose it– you don't let me . It's simple, sweetheart."

I blinked. It was still a confounding concept, like I could possibly stop him from doing anything . "Don't let you," I repeated, turning the words over on my tongue like that'd help me picture it.

"Yeah! I'll fucking blue balls it, baby. It'll be fucking torture !" he promised with another squeeze of my ass and that charming smile of his.

I would have laughed, his plan absurd as always, if he didn't look so genuine about it and I wasn't being so utterly undone by the now slow, continuous grind of his erection, the feel of his fingertips creeping beneath the hem of my panties to knead at the softness of my bare ass. Hidan did have a certain way with words, but his hands reached a level beyond at times.

"Yeah, look at you," he noted, eyes darkening as he regarded me intently. "Gettin' all hot for me just thinkin' about it, aren't you?" Realizing he was absolutely right, I snapped my mouth shut with a swallow to stop any more undignified panting .

He smiled like he thought that was cute. Cute that I'd even try to maintain some semblance of threading myself together because he knew best how he was going to tear me apart.

"What do you want me to do, baby girl?" he asked in earnest, voice dipping low and gravelly, pupils dilating and fixated on mine. "Want me to pin you down? Take you from behind?"

"I–um… that sounds–"

Very lovely. Please and thank you.

"We gotta break in this bed, y'know…"

Another hard swallow may have held back a few wanton noises, but it did nothing to stop the spicy little knot twisting in my depths as he pulled me to ride along his arching hips. "Hidan, this… this doesn't seem all that torturous for you…"

He smirked, shaking his head, eyes darkening further as he brought a hand to cup my face. "Oh, that's where you're dead wrong, sweetheart…" He thumbed at my cheek before trailing a finger from temple to jaw, tipping my chin up to direct my gaze at his and speaking to me in a deep murmur. "No, baby. Trust me, it'll be agony … because alllll I'm thinkin' about right now is how fucking incredible it would feel to dick you down into this bed…"

The hand still on my ass swept across the cheeks before ripping my panties down. With a hitching breath, I tried looking back over my shoulder but he gripped my chin firmly. "Eyes on me," he commanded patiently. "I'm just gettin' these out of the way so I can touch you, baby girl. You do want that, don't you?"

I just stared for a moment, face flushed and head cloudy, swallowing hard with a nod. "I… I do."

"Mm. Yeah. I know you do. Look at these pretty, rosy cheeks, you've been thinkin' about it for a while now, haven't you?"

Another nod and a small, but audible 'yes' put a very satisfied look on his face.

"Yeah, that's okay," he comforted with a tilt of his head, carding his fingers through my hair. "I've been thinkin' about you too."

"You have?"

"Mhm… been thinkin' 'bout the pretty little faces you make when I touch you… how wet you get for me." He paused, eyes softening, though still intent and unblinking. "Thinkin' 'bout the way you look at me when I talk to you like this, how you lose your breath. It's so fuckin' cute, baby."

I let out some blustering noise as if to deny it, as if I wasn't well aware of how my body seemed to loosen on command at the mere sound of his voice humming low, murmuring terrible, wonderful things to me.

"Yeah, look at you gettin' all shy about it," he teased with a grin, tip of his tongue caught between his teeth. "Funny. You're not too shy when your whole body's shaking every time I make you come– so fucking hot by the way–how you tense up, ride it out so good for me, baby." He shook his head like he still couldn't believe it, even as he recalled it vividly. He'd been right in calling me out, that hearing him talk dirty unraveled me quickly, but he was no exception to this himself.

"Oh God sweetheart," he breathed, brows tilting into something pleading as he touched my face, tucking the hair behind my ear. "I want you so bad. Wanna come all over this beautiful ass, you have no fucking clue ."

Except I did. He'd been giving me a very big, hard clue for a little while now and I found myself practically panting again from just listening to him, from how he looked at me. I was nothing short of enamored, completely entranced with him and speechless.

"Only I know I can't do that..." He shook his head, staring at my lips and idly thumbing across them. "It's fucking killing me just thinking about it–being so close and having to fucking pull out and just… deal with it. Can't even jerk off after. That sound like punishment enough to you, sweetheart?"

Chewing at my lip, I tried to think of any reason to deny him and came up empty. It didn't help that my brain was short-circuiting with each word and every press of him, hot and thick against what was now a very swollen bundle of nerves between my legs. "Well... just how am I, um… how am I supposed to stop you?"

He grinned, knowing that question meant I was deeply considering it–that his foot was in the door and heck, he'd just kick down. "Easy. You just say so, baby. Tell me to stop and I'll stop," he murmured, catching his lip between his teeth as he returned his other hand to my now exposed ass, bringing both of them against it with a stinging smack .

My body jolted forward, hands clinging to his shoulders, breath catching in my throat before spilling out as a stuttered aftershock of a cry. I bit my lip in a delayed attempt to hold it in, eyes clenched shut in the anticipation of another.

"God…" Hidan mumbled, "love spanking this ass. We need to do some more of that, but not today. You've been good, baby girl." And the gentle rubbing over my stinging cheeks was evidence enough that I would not be the one punished that day. "Swear to God or the devil or who-the-fuck-ever, you got me so wrapped around every fucking finger down to your toes. I'd do anything you asked."

"You would?" I questioned breathlessly.

" Anything ," he reiterated, hips arching up to keep me falling apart in his grasp.

And while I held a shred of my sanity before he inevitably screwed it out of me, I thought to use the opportunity. "So… if I asked you to apologize to Itachi?"

Hidan stilled, his face dropping entirely deadpan. "Seriously? You're gonna kill my boner just like that? What'd it ever do to you?"

I bit back a breathy laugh, gently sweeping through his stupidly sexy morning hair. "Only good things," I assured, stretching up for a kiss. "But this has nothing to do with that ."

"You're really gonna lay there and tell me my torture proposal wasn't enough? You wanna put me through that shit too?" He was pouting and my god, was it criminally cute.

"Hidan, you hit him. You need to apologize… and that's in addition to the um, the other thing."

He raised a brow and asked hopefully, "The other thing as in… me fucking you good as long as I don't blow my load?"

My face burned–his phrasing blunt as ever–and I averted my eyes, adding with a mumble, "yes, and that last part is effective until we've had our date."

He broke into a grin, his hands spreading my cheeks apart and inching his fingers down along the center. "So you remember that date thing, huh?"

"You thought I–" the pad of his finger was edging precariously close to a hole I hadn't expected to get much attention. "–thought that I wouldn't?" I asked, my voice leaping up an octave.

He shrugged. "I ain't mad. Look at you layin' down the law. Hot as hell, baby girl."

Feeling him brush over that hole though, I jumped at what I assumed was an accidental touch and only began squirming with a whine as he rubbed firmly against it. His other hand gripped tight, holding me still and open as he urged me to relax. "Shh shh shh, baby. Baby. Calm down, I'm not going in. Just see if it feels good like this, okay? I'm just curious..."

"Hidan," I hissed, mortified and still uselessly trying to worm away from the finger massaging my freaking asshole. "You know that's my–my… ah–"

He did something . Stroked across what felt like a million nerve endings in that tight ring of muscle and it had my body arching into the touch.

"Do I know that's your ass? That what you were gonna ask me, baby girl?"

I just stared back, mouth agape with breathlessness, nodding and likely looking the strangest mix of horny and concerned.

"Yeah, sweetheart… I am very fucking aware," he murmured, craning his neck to see over me with a bite of his lip.

He pulled me open further, really sinking against me as much as he could without actually pushing inside, though they teased at the possibility. Just fingers pressed flat and working me over, coaxing a puckering twitch and surprised little puffs from me, my only consolation being that his breath got a little lost too, brows pinching at my reactions.

"Feels good, right?"

Yes. God, yes . But I was under the impression that was an exit only kind of situation.

"Is that… normal? Should i-it?"

A noise of appreciation, deep and rumbling in Hidan's chest hinted strongly at yes . "God, there's so much I wanna show you, sweetheart…" he groaned, kissing me deeply. "and I will… and all of it should feel fucking good. You know to tell me the second it doesn't, right?"

I whined something resembling an mhm and he stretched to press a kiss to my forehead. "That's my girl. Gettin' so good at tellin' me what she likes," he praised, swiping rougher across that hole, the friction of it maddening and earning him a litany of whiny gasps as he picked up pace.

"Fuck… you're gonna make this fucking hard on me aren't you?" he questioned, jaw pushed out as he examined every embarrassing contortion of my expression. "All these pretty little noises and I'm barely playin' with your ass… you really gonna make me wait until after our date to let me come, baby girl?"

"I… is it t-too harsh?" I winced, second guessing myself. "I don't know w-when—" and my breath spiked as his other hand found its way to the front entrance.

"Hm? Somethin' on your mind?" he questioned innocently, two fingers slipping between my lips and his groaning praises of how wet I was thrummed against my tightening coil.

"I-I don't know when y-you were– ahm… p-planning on taking me… me out." Oh it was freaking impossible to string a sentence together as he worked me open, one large finger slipping inside and tugging against my slick wall.

He tipped his head back with a breathy laugh. "Sweetheart, if those are the terms I'm finding a way to make that fucking date happen today , don't you worry."

He kissed me, or maybe I kissed him. I couldn't be sure.

I was just a ball of nerves, and as far as I could tell, he was hitting all of them, leaving me a writhing mess to just moan into his mouth as he still tried to kiss me against all reason. Some sloppy display of passion, licking at the insides of my cheeks and sucking on my tongue as he added another finger and curled them and oh – oh, yes. Yes, there.

I choked on a cry, my fingers finding his shoulders, nails biting hard enough to earn his growling approval. "That's it, baby girl," he encouraged, reminding me just how swollen and wanting he was with a buck of his hips.

"You're ready for me." It wasn't a question, barely even a statement. More like a thought so loud and impatient that it slipped out between shallow breaths. Before I could so much as enthusiastically agree, he was tugging at my clothes and flipping me on my stomach effortlessly.

"Oh my fucking God…" I heard him mutter before feeling the hot press of his chest flush against my bare back as he draped over me, bringing his lips to brush against the shell of my ear. "Sweetheart… baby, listen to me–"and he paused to swallow, wetting his lips like he'd just been drained of moisture all at once. "–I'm gonna fuck you good. I am. I'm gonna hold out as long as I can. Make you come as much as I can–as hard as I can… " he broke to pepper my neck with kisses, pecks and nibbles, some open-mouthed and sloppy, others sucking hard enough to mark me. "But holy shit, baby… you got me goin' so bad already, and I just caught the hottest fucking view of you from behind and fuck … I dunno how long I can go for before I–"

"–Hidan…" I cut him off, whimpering, feeling him hard and prodding at my entrance. "I don't care , I just want you." It came out pathetically impatient, especially as I lifted back against him just enough to push his crown to kiss into me.

"Ah ah ah, none of that," he scolded, shoving my hips down into the bed. "I need you resting, sweetheart. Can you be good and just lay here for me? Just get fucked by me, nothing more?"

He kissed across my shoulders as I answered, told him yes several stuttered times, apologizing breathlessly, and he consoled me between kisses. "It's okay. It's okay, baby. I'm gonna take care of you, you'll see. Just be good for me and take it, okay?"

"O-okay," I squeaked out. "I-I'll be good. Just, please… "

"Mm, my needy girl…" he growled, reaching back to grab himself, rubbing along my slit with a groaning curse at the slickness. "My needy wet girl… holy fuck you're so good to me…" he whispered, lining himself up and breaching my core just the smallest, teasing amount.

A whiny string of please's mixed in with his name leaked out of me, my whole body burning with anticipation, literal flames between my legs that needed him to snuff them out.

Still propped over me, Hidan's breath wavered in my ear as he pushed in past the tip, pausing to tell me how much he loved when I begged for him. That it was beautiful, that I was beautiful. That I'd been so so good and he couldn't wait to reward me.

So he didn't wait.

He did just as he said and took me , tearing a strangled gasp from my throat as he squeezed between my legs with a scraping exhale. Bearing down so much weight that he pinned me there with no effort at all and God, 'taking me from behind' could not have been more accurate.

"Fuck… shit, you're so tight baby girl," he groaned, inflection pained because of what was to come–that being not him . "Still can't believe you're mine."

I was his and he wanted to make sure I knew it. As if there was any question. Knuckles running white, my fingers twisted into the sheets as he sank deep, sloppily kissing me as much as he possibly could. My cheek, neck, shoulders, hair– everywhere –and for a moment I was living off his touches alone.

The feeling of him taking me so deliberately slow was unreasonably euphoric. I loved the build of it, the tense hum of every fiber being tested, stretching to find the limits only to realize there were none. My limits were him, and he was immeasurable–insatiable.

Hidan didn't need speed to have force and he split me wide open, bringing with it that merciless fullness. That constant brimming of it's too much–I'm too small. The nudging of his nose beneath my jaw, heat gusting against my ear, whispers from him promising no, no it was perfect. He'd make me feel how perfect it was.

His name blistered off my tongue when he nestled to the root with a spill of breathless praises. "Fuck, oh sweetheart. My baby girl, is this okay? I'm not hurting you, am I?" His breath was unsteady and for once, it was his body shaking against mine as he summoned the restraint to still himself, waiting for my response.

I shook my head vehemently, whining that it was so good because two simple words was all I could muster, but they didn't put a dent in my actual feelings. His hands wormed beneath me to hook around my shoulders, fingers digging in to better hold me still as he began drilling hard.

"God, I'm lucky my baby likes this cock so deep…" he murmured approvingly, jolting harder, stuffing me so full that my vision blanked with each thrust. "You like how much you can take like this?"

Yes. Yes, I really did. And I tried to convey that sentiment but the word caught each time, dying on the end of pitching breaths.

"Does it feel so good you– ah hah –you can't even talk, sweetheart?"

I babbled something at him in my defense, some whimpering nonsense that only proved his point as he sank to the hilt and just rocked .

Oh I lost it.

" There it is…" he breathed, knowing exactly what he found. An overwhelming tenderness swelling unbearably with each nudge, spreading through me, pulling tears down my cheeks and cries from my throat in rhythm with his hips.

" Fuck , that's it. Take it, baby," he growled, relentless against me as his mouth pushed right to my ear, further encouraging me through shameless grunts. "Be good and just fucking take it… be as loud as you fucking need to on this cock. It's okay, sweetheart."

He had me sobbing his name. There was nothing else. No vision–eyes too screwed tight. No words–just a mingling of our desperately lewd noises. Him jerking deeper into me than ever and one very exploratory hand running across every curve. Wordlessly fawning over each one, the comfort of his affection so undeniably present with every squeeze, his lips against me like prayers, like I was something to be worshiped.

There was something about him dwarfing me so completely, elbows bracketing my side and crushing with so much weight that I should have felt smothered– trapped –but somehow that wasn't it. Quite the opposite. I was secure , safe beneath him. Nothing bad could happen, no one could get me, not while he had me like that.

And God, he had me like that.

It was the longest he'd gone without a word, and when I cracked an eye open to catch a glimpse of this man, I understood why . His eyes were clenched tight, teeth bared because he was trying so hard to hold himself together.

For me . So that I could find release before he had to relent.

" Oh… " the moan fell right out of me at the sight. Propped over me, his chest was heavy against my back with every muscle engaged and tight, body both caging mine down and slapping into it at a pace growing as quick as it was loud . The sweat on his brow made disheveled strands of hair stick to his forehead and good lord this man was beautiful .

When he opened his eyes to meet mine it left me breathless. The smallest glint of amethyst, and yet it held all the affection in the world. Like I was the only thing in it.

His brows tipped up so earnest and sweet and as if to translate what I was already seeing, he told me how much he loved me. Just blurted it out like he couldn't hold it in any longer, quickly adding, "–but don't say it back– hah aha– not yet. Tryin' to last."

I didn't. I couldn't. He'd been riding so hard against that very tender spot and with each prod at the punishing rate, I'd reached a limit that sent my entire body to seize up all at once, clench every muscle just to stay whole at the anticipation of what would surely pull me apart.

Hidan, of course, immediately recognized my full-body freeze for what it was and hissed, bolstering himself to hunker down, snapping into me. Hands scrambling to find mine, fingers lacing tight, his feverish whispers gusted hot against my ear through gritted teeth, "Yes. Yes, oh fuck yes, baby. Come . Come on my cock. Come on, baby girl, show me how much you love it. I need to see it."

Like I needed coaxing.

"Hidan– Hida–ah!" His name shot out of me, pinched and manic as I went wire taut, burying my face into the blankets.

"Fuck. Fuck. So fuckin' tight when you come," Hidan wheezed, screwing into me relentlessly.

If there'd been a dam between my legs holding back a wave of intensity, Hidan hammered straight through it. Biting down on a fold of blankets, a torrent of ungodly noises choked out of me in the flood of ecstasy.

His face pushed into the crook of my neck where he whispered an unhinged pouring of filthy praises, pushing me to take a little more–just a little–ride it out until there was nothing left. "Good, good girl. There she is. Finish off on my cock, baby girl. It's all for you." The slap of our skin quieted, letting me come down nice and slow, but he didn't quite stop and the whine that leaked out of him was like nothing I'd heard before.

"God, sweetheart… I… I gotta come so bad. You gotta do something or I'm gonna–"

"No, you… you can't," I mumbled, spitting the blankets out and trying to gather my bearings. Hidan truly brought meaning to the phrase "screwing someone senseless" because mine were gone .

"Please, baby. It fuckin' hurts ."

"Hidan…" I trailed off helplessly. It wasn't like I wanted to hurt him... This was all his idea to begin with.

" Please . Let me come, baby, please… I'm so fuckin' close."

I squirmed beneath him, pushing back against his chest uselessly. Shaking my head, mustering all my confidence to remind him that no , he couldn't… ignoring the concerning part of me that found some heated thrill in that failed struggle beneath him.

"Sweetheart… I'm fuckin' begging you here. I'm gonna explode if I don't, I swear. You seriously got me so hard," he choked, thrusting deep and nailing that spot and–

" Oh–"

Quickly snaking a hand beneath my hips, I suddenly and desperately chased down the sparking feeling lighting me aflame from within. Fingers sliding between wet lips and I pressed hard on my bud, rubbing furiously in tandem with the grind of Hidan's hips and I eked out a desperate plea, short and sweet. "Don't come. Don't stop . I-I'm c- ahhmmng –"

"Gotta be fuckin' kidding me," Hidan hissed, his forehead dropping to the bed beside my face as he powered into me wordlessly. The groan that poured out of him crescendoed into a long, drawn out growl–practically a shout–his limits at the max as I laid beneath him sobbing through another orgasm and begging him, "no, not yet. Don't stop yet, please ," every time he asked if I'd finished, which was just about every second.

"I gotta… baby, I can't– hah –can't…"

"Hidan please . I l-love it so much. Promise I'm a-almost done." I was practically a puddle beneath him, deliriously greedy in my demands.

"Fuck, okay. Okay… okay, but fuck, you're gonna make me come in you if I keep goin'," he groaned, pumping erratically in his attempt to wring out my ecstasy while avoiding his own.

And suddenly I didn't care about his punishment anymore, going limp as I finally reached my end.

"So come in me then…" I mumbled.

"The fuck ?!" He clapped hard just once more with an agonizingly strangled noise. Tearing out, he flopped on his back, gripping tight to the base of his length.

Laying perfectly still and tense, he was frantic in his muttering. Just a string of breathless nos and fucks , cringing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth.

Clumsily coming out of my double post-orgasmic haze, I pawed at him, asking what was wrong.

"Ah ah! Hands off! I'm trying not to come over here! In fact don't even fuckin' look at me, I'm that goddamn close, seriously. I can't believe you fuckin' said that shit…"

"Oh," I giggled, relieved that was all. Based on his dramatics I would have thought his dick broke off or something.

"Oh," Hidan mocked with a breathy laugh, still holding tight to himself but seeming to decompress a little. "I'm glad it's so funny for you, sweetheart. Hey, totally unrelated… how were those orgasms? Enjoy yourself?"

"Oh no, don't you…" breathing was still difficult, "don't you guilt me, Hidan… this was–was all your idea! I was prepared to go with nothing!"

He bit his lip, smiling over at me. "But you're glad you didn't, right?"

Absurdly sexy, this man. I could only laugh and smile back, stretching over to get closer to him. "Of course I am..."

"Wasn't expecting to squeeze a second one out of you if I'm being honest. Pretty prouda myself."

"It snuck up on me!"

"You're fuckin' tellin' me" he breathed. "That shit almost had me pumping some damn babies into you, I swear. Lucky for you I have, like, crazy good self control."

Mhm and where was that yesterday?

"I really am lucky to have you, aren't I?" I mused, still riding high on serotonin and a bit breathless as I curled into his side.

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, kissing the top of my head and nosing into my hair with a massive sigh. "I think we all know who the lucky one is between us, and it sure as shit ain't you."

Regardless of how untrue I felt that was, it was a fight I'd never win with him. I was a clumsy little noodle and he was Hidan . Immortal, powerful, absolute sweetheart–to me anyway–sex god. How he came to pick me was still beyond comprehension.

"Guess we don't need any little Hidans running around just yet," I sighed.

"Nah, probably not," he laughed. "Some little Hidans would be pretty cute though, not gonna lie. But little Izumis? Fucking trouble ."

"Hey!" I defended. And that was it, my only defense, because yeah, he was totally right. One of me was plenty .

He grinned, always happy to get my goat. I may as well have chucked it at him.

I shifted up along him to wrap around his head, cradling it to my chest and pressing a kiss to the top of it. "I hope it's okay to say this now..."

"Hm?"

"I love you," I murmured, lips still against him, arms squeezing and fingers scratching through his hair. He decompressed, releasing the death grip on himself to roll onto his side and grab at my back, ensnaring me there against him with a heavy, satisfied breath.

"One more time, baby…" he mumbled and I happily obliged, softly reminding him several more times. Not only that I loved him, but why I did. Because of how silly he was, and how he always always always found a way to make me laugh. How he could read me better than any book. How I admired his strength and honesty, that his arms were my safe haven–that they felt like home .

And he didn't say anything, he just let me talk, clutched at me harder, rubbed at my back and buried his face up into my neck so I didn't have a shot at seeing it. But I didn't need to, his emotions ran so high I could feel them permeating through me.

This man broke my heart and filled it with just the sound of his unsteady breath. He was so starved for this and as such, devoured my soft whisperings with silent fervor. Hidan did not let me take care of him often–him and his skewed perception of what it meant to be a man–so I reveled in the quiet until he eventually broke it.

And he did so, of course, to dote on me, pulling me into his arms and carrying me into the bathroom. Tutting me playfully for being such a mess even without his contribution , which had my cheeks burning and face burying into his chest.

The spray of the shower burned hot as we washed each other, and it did not escape my notice that Hidan's erection seemed like a permanent fixture on his body at that point. When I made mention of it he just laughed and told me it sucked even worse than he expected.

"Hope you're happy," he teased, purposefully nudging it against my belly. And I was happy. Not that his dick was at risk of exploding though–just in general.

"You did this to yourself. You do know that, right?"

"Myself?" Hidan laughed, "I mean, I know I'm hot, baby girl, but I don't make myself this hard. Give yourself some credit."

"Okay, so maybe I helped a little ," I agreed sheepishly, trailing a handful of suds along his abdomen and further, hesitating at the hard lower flat of his stomach.

He expected me to stop there, I could tell by that smarmy look on his face. Like it was cute that I was so predictably timid. So, maybe I took it as a challenge. Maybe I didn't stop because he so clearly assumed I'd shy away.

In all fairness, I hadn't planned on torturing him further, but there was something about that cocky expression that silently spoke volumes of you won't, that had my fingertips combing down through that silvery patch of hair and trailing along his length.

Challenge accepted.

He cocked a brow, his lips falling open with a breath, both in pleasure and my unexpected audacity. "Oh, you are fucking evil ," he groaned, urging his hips against my palm in some effort to get more .

"I'm just washing you up, what's so evil about that?" I asked innocently, slowly wrapping my fingers around him and stroking languid and thorough because yes , I was actually cleaning him… in an admittedly evil kind of way.

It was the first time I'd held him like that, all on my own and not racing toward some finish line. It spiked my pulse, stirred an uproar of nervous little butterflies in my stomach. Oh, but I loved it–the tangible swell, the firmness beneath my delicate fingers and the way they couldn't quite touch because my hands were so small and he was so not .

Entirely enamored, teeth anxiously working my bottom lip, I was lost in exploring him. Feeling how the flooded veins raised tracks along his length. How he twitched with a gasp when I gently rubbed at the soft little patch at the underside of his tip.

A quick glance told me Hidan was equally, if not more enraptured with the sight. He was full on panting, staring down intensely at my soapy little hand as it curled and pulled along him from base to head.

His hands clapped against the shower wall beside my head, body slumping into a heavy lean as he pressed his forehead to mine with a low groan. He let me touch him some more, and when I brought a second hand to him, he was all fluttering eyelids and harsh gasps. "You're gonna be the fuckin' death of me," he breathed, brows pinched, hips canting into my grip.

He was a disaster . And the realization of knowing I was the one doing this to him was intoxicating. I wanted nothing more than to see his face as he came undone entirely.

"We can call it off, Hidan" I murmured with a light squeeze, rubbing against the underside of his head again–it seemed very sensitive. It was a gesture meant to be comforting, convincing even–he'd proven himself enough–but it only seemed to put a pained look on his face. "We don't have to actually wait until this date–"

"No," he barked, freezing me in place. I watched the shift of his adam's apple as he tried to soften his expression before going in for a shaky kiss on the edge of my lips. "I just mean I promised you a date and I'll fuckin' wait until then like I said I would. I can do it, sweetheart. I can do this. Why don't you hop out so I can take a freeze-my-boner-off kinda shower, hm?"

"You're sure?"

"Mhm. Go get some breakfast, baby. I'll be out soon hopefully."

"Okay," I pouted, giving him a kiss and one last squeeze before releasing him.

"Sweetheart," he murmured as I pulled back, smirking with a tilt of his head. "You actually want to get me off, don't you?"

I blustered out some embarrassed noise, averting my eyes and mumbling, "Of course I do… I don't like seeing you all, like–" I vaguely gestured at his penis, "like this ."

Hidan tipped his head back with a breathless laugh before bringing his hands to my hair, smoothing it against the sides of my neck, holding me there with an expression torn between amused and adoring. "My fucking God you are seriously the cutest thing in the world. You know that?"

"Not reall–"

"Rhetorical question, sweetheart, of course you do." And he planted a big smooch on my forehead like that was the end of that. "Now get your adorable ass out of here so I can trick my dick into hibernation and think about how I've sinned on this day. How my sexy ass girlfriend offered me a hand job and I said fucking no . How very far I've fallen, all for the sake of pride and–"

"Okay, okay!" I laughed, pressing my lips to his once more to put a stop to whatever insane rant he was embarking on. With a few more kisses and those three words passed between them, I stepped out of the shower, vowing internally that I'd pick up where I left off some other time.

While not at all unexpected, I did not manage to get away without a resounding slap of my ass.

I thought maybe I'd wait for him, but after pulling on some clean clothes and toweling off my hair, the water was still running. Between that and an audible groan of frustration, it was clear he was having a hard time still…

Yes, the pun is intended. The pun is always freaking intended.

So I'd just go to the kitchen on my own then. Fine. Okay. That was fine. I could go out there and start breakfast like normal. Wasn't like I was feeling on edge about anything or anyone in particular. Only an oversensitive idiot would still be thinking about how Kisame shoved me to the ground, his snarling face when I begged him to stop and how he smashed Hidan's skull in with ease.

How silly, to linger on such a thing. And I was not silly. No. Never.

I slipped out into the hallway, quietly padding my way to the kitchen and as I approached, the silence coming from within helped ease my nerves. Empty was fine, empty was good–"

Well, beans. Kisame sat at the kitchen table with his readers low on the bridge of his nose, quietly sipping coffee and staring intently at the crossword puzzle before him. With a squandered breath, I skipped back to hide behind the wall before he could notice me.

Despite internal pep talks and pumping myself up to be thoroughly breezy and entirely unsilly, the sight of Kisame was jarring.

Just the flash of him sitting there all peacefully did some discordant things to my brain, overlapping images of his face all screwed up, fingers gripping the shoulders of Hidan, slamming and slamming– shattering his head against the earth until it leaked.

I shook my head, breathing shaky and deep before turning on my heel to return to my room. I would wait for Hidan after al–

Slam.

–Or not. Or maybe I'd simply faceplant right into Itachi so hard he'd have to grab my shoulders just to keep me from toppling backwards. That sounded equally fun, no?

"Izumi," he said, bemused as he looked me over. "Is everything alright?"

With just one glance at his face, I realized I should have been the one asking him that. The entire left side was a mess of swollen skin, shiny and mottled with sick blooms of purplish hues peeking out from beneath his collar.

"Oh my God, Itachi," I whispered, reaching up to peel his cloak away, as if my assessment of the damage could do anything to fix it, and I certainly wasn't kissing it to make it better.

Been there, done that, heartbreak is even less fun than advertised.

"It's fine, Izumi. Please," he asserted, lips pressed together as he huffed from his nose, trying to pull away. Well, I wasn't having any of that, and he wasn't exactly exerting deadly force to stop me.

Let him try .

I shook my head, chewing the inside of my cheek as I lightly– very lightly –ran my thumb along the puffy curve of his cheek, feeling so stupidly useless and so so small. Even my voice was small, tightening slightly in my throat. "Oh, Itachi. Oh, I–I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'll answer after you. I did ask you something similar, if you'll recall."

I gave him an impatient look because… really ? That was absurd. Simply having two functioning eyes told you I was clearly fine and he looked very, well, distinctly unfine . He only took a single hit from Hidan as far as I knew, but wow –Hidan apparently knew how to make it count.

"Okay, look at me," I deadpanned, gesturing to my very pasty but unbruised self, thinking that should make my point well enough.

"I'm looking," he noted agreeably, and he really was. His sharingan flared on and his eyes ticked in their sockets taking in every detail without a blink. "Now what?"

Feeling the scrutiny and heat like an ant beneath a magnifying glass, I bristled, blustering out, "Not like that! I just mean to say I'm clearly fine!"

Much to my dismay, this was not enough to make him cease. He merely observed a moment longer, eventually clicking his tongue to speak, choosing his words carefully. "Oh. Well. I… would agree with that."

I sighed, Such a difficult man. "Okay, good. We agree. I'm so glad we agree. Now get rid of those, please ," I huffed, flourishing at his eyes.

He cocked his head. "Get rid of my eyes?"

"No! Not your eyes, just the sharingan!"

"Do you propose I just pluck them out right here and now?" he asked very seriously, looking around like does anyone else hear this insane woman requesting I scoop out my eyeballs ?

"What? No–no I wasn't saying–"

"I have no container. Am I to just hold onto them?"

"I–no–"

"Or did you want them?" he asked, his tone still genuine but the twitch of his lips told me otherwise. "I have to admit, Izumi, it is a touch macabre for you, but it's not the first time someone's wanted my eyes. Well… if it's what you so desire–"

Oh. Oh, so he was teasing me, was he? Itachi Uchiha playfully joking about removing his eyes before breakfast. Would wonders never cease?

"Itachi!" I laughed, not willing to see how far he'd take this bit, grabbing his forearms, which were rising up to his face, and yanking them back down to his chest. "You're ridiculous!"

"No. No, I'm very serious. You can ask anyone, Izumi," he assured just as seriously as he claimed to be.

I just devolved into a fit of laughter, still hanging onto him for balance, taking more than a few wheezing moments to recover and stand upright again. The infamous Itachi Uchiha, ladies and gentleman. So scary he might just awkwardly joke about giving you his eyeballs. Watch out .

"Sorry," I laughed, wiping at my eyes. "I think I'm good now."

He stared down at me, not looking particularly displeased.

"What?" I asked.

"I didn't say anything."

"No, but you looked like you were going to."

He waved a dismissive hand. "It was nothing."

I raised a brow, silently questioning the terrible liar he was, and he sighed, recognizing defeat. "It was just… your laugh," he admitted,

"My laugh? What about my laugh?" I asked, prepared to defend my cackle to the death.

"Nothing. It's just been quiet around here without it. That's all."

"Oh, so you're saying my laugh is too loud ?" I balked.

"I–yes, Izumi. Your laugh is too loud. That is what I was getting at."

Oooh, look at him busting out the good sarcasm for you. Very nice.

The poor man, I was clearly exasperating him and the sun had barely risen. I knew the feeling well. In my defense, he shouldn't have made it so fun. I smiled up at him though, taking pity. "You want breakfast?"

"Yes. Well, I mean yes as in I will make it. You can relax."

I pulled a face at him. "The heck? You're talking to the girl whose only useful talent is cooking. I am making breakfast, Itachi."

"Izumi," he said, voice growing stern. "I can sense your chakra better than you can. It's still very low. You should be resting as it is."

"What're you talking about? I'm totally fine–"

Suddenly his hand was pressed to my belly, the other holding steady to my shoulder like some precautionary measure to counteract my pesky fainting habit. There was a warmth that came with it, a coating of chakra humming against me. His eyes held mine and when his face fell into something even more stern, I practically grew a tail just to put it between my legs.

"It is not fine," he murmured, shaking his head. "It's so low, Izumi. I don't like that you're even up and moving about."

"O-Okay, I really did feel better," I offered apologetically, feeling myself shrinking before him. There I was, after all this time, still making his job difficult. It felt like the weight of his gaze was part of my punishment. "I'm sorry, Itachi. I swear I'm not trying to be trouble for you. I was just worried with everything yesterday and wanted to see everyone and–"

"Ah–you're no trouble, that's not what I meant," he spit out in a rush with a squeeze of my shoulder before withdrawing entirely, rubbing at the back of his neck. "You're not–please just–I know you worry, but–" he sighed, closing his eyes with a drawn out blink, and the blaze of the sharingan snuffed to dark ash once more upon opening them. "Will you please let me make you something to eat?"

I blinked up at him thinking his expression was far too concerned for the severity–or lack thereof–of the situation. Saying no almost felt mean at that point, so I agreed to his outlandish terms. "Suppose I'd rather you give me breakfast than your eyes."

He smiled. He smiled. I'd nearly forgotten the swell of pride that came with siphoning such a thing from him. With a hand to my back, he began corralling me into the kitchen where Kisame was sitting, also smiling, and his did something very different to my stomach.

Notes:

Y'ALL I swear to you I cannot write a fade to black sex scene to save my fucking life and I AM SORRY FOR IT. I know this chapter seems entirely unnecessary, but it just kind of happened and I can't be stopped idk.

Anyway, I'm not dead, just slow at updating for several reasons:

1. Writing is hard, so thank you so much for those that leave me encouraging comments, even if it's just emojis, I so appreciate all of them you have no idea.

2. As some have actually noticed, I've been re-working many of the early chapters! Which they desperately needed but... it's very time consuming. Nothing huge or plot changing. Just a lot of sentence structure stuff, some edited/added dialogue, some added scenes here and there. Smallish stuffs.

3. I have 3 other side fics that I work on when I need time away from this one to mull things over without me getting out of the writing habit.

4. Life is crazy rn.

Thank you for reading as always! I hope everyone is enjoying the start of summer! Comments, Kudos, all that nonsense is basically my life support so an extra thank you for anyone taking the time to leave me some love 333

Chapter 54: Hairy Situations

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Itachi ushered me over to the table like I couldn't be trusted not to wander if he didn't watch me sit down.

"Hey there, kiddo," Kisame greeted with a sharp smile. "Feelin' better this morning? Not so in the mood to open up the pits of hell?"

"Mhm." I tried to smile.

Be cool, Izumi.

I must have looked like I was struggling with indigestion based on the questioning raise of Kisame's brow. "Well look at you, getting it out of your system," he said suspiciously, still eyeing me.

Itachi had been right to worry about the whole wandering thing.

I felt myself getting smaller as I stared at the chair across from him, noting it had nothing but an easily crushable table between.

Mildly unappealing .

The seat may as well have had rusty nails pounded up into it, just waiting to be warmed by an unsuspecting butt. My butt was not unsuspecting, however. It was all of the suspecting–irrationally so.

As if Kisame would just revert into a rabid shark-person unprompted? Like his coffee might spill and that'd be enough to send him spiraling into a wild snap of teeth?

No. I knew better on a logical level, but still… I swallowed, just staring and feeling Itachi's hand on my back pushing me to sit.

"Go on. Have a seat," he coaxed at my severe lack of seat-having . "I can take care of things in the kitchen, Izumi. I promise."

Kisame glanced up from his crossword, a wry grin forming. "C'mon kiddo. I don't bite."

He was being playful like usual . This was the Kisame I knew and loved, the one I'd usually engage with in a weird battle of wits–for lack of a better term–because just then I wanted to call him out, ask him 'oh yeah? Then how do you eat ?'.

It'd be a stupid question and he'd laugh at just how dumb it was. Then I'd laugh. Itachi would pretend to be unamused, but it'd be an ill-played farce and life would go on.

But no, instead I just chewed at my lip, actively resisting Itachi's push and looking back up at him. "Can't I come help you?"

He gave a quizzical tilt of his head, looking from me to the chair, then Kisame, and the two exchanged an odd look.

"I'd really prefer it if you'd sit and relax, Izumi," he said, not pushing this time, instead opting for a reassuring rub of my back, and that type of affection coming from him was as jarring as ever.

I cast it from my mind, focused on getting out of this, attesting that I could simply sit on the counter.

Itachi hummed. "You really don't trust me with breakfast, do you?"

"No–no, it 's not that!" I blustered, shaking my head.

"Oh? What, then?"

My eyes betrayed me, flitting over to Kisame who was staring at me a little too intently, so I took to inspecting the floor instead. "I–um. Well–I mean, nothing really , just–"

"–Hey! If it isn't the legend herself!" Deidara's voice had never sounded so sweet. I whipped around to see him grinning, lazily scuffing in with his hands linked behind his head, and I was so grateful that I practically flung myself at him.

Somewhere behind me Itachi was sighing in defeat, muttering how he wished I'd just sit down.

"Dei!" I breathed his name with all the relief of not having to sit alone with Kisame, squeezing tight and crushing my forehead into his shoulder. He shook with a chuckle as his arms wrapped around me.

"Ah c'mon, Iz. Don't tell me you missed me already, not after our sweet hang out session yesterday. What's all this for?" he asked, a hand sweeping along my spine.

Face smushed, I mumbled, "For putting up with me. For taking care of me even though it wasted your whole night. I'm so sorry, Dei, I know you have better things to do." The apologetic squeeze I gave him was met with a snort and ruffling of my hair.

Deidara pushed my shoulders back and looked down at me, thoroughly amused. "The hell are you goin' on about? Me putting up with you ? Try you putting up with all of us shitheads, She Who Cracks The Earth ." He deepened his voice for the moniker like I was some fear-inducing, otherworldly being that split open chasms of hellfire with each awkward, unsure step.

"Oh my God! Don't call me that, it was a total accident!" I groaned with a playful push that did precisely nothing.

He grinned, squeezing me tighter. "It was freaking metal, is what it was."

"Nooo!"

"Yesssss!" he mocked, his voice hopping up an octave with a pinched whine.

A surprisingly good impression.

False–or at least I hoped it was.

"Deidara," Kakuzu warned, rounding the corner into the kitchen with Lucky at his heels. "Do not encourage her."

"Yeah, Dei," I said, pulling back to poke at him. "Don't encourage me. I'll get all sorts of ideas and you know those are bad for my health."

Deidara laughed, snatching up my wrist to prevent any further pokage.

Hah. Silly man.

As if I didn't have a free hand and a flimsy sense of self-preservation. Though what I had in sheer gall, I lacked in dexterity and sneakiness. Before I could even get another poke in, I found both my hands captured by a very smug Deidara.

"You know what else is bad for your health?" he asked, his visible eye narrowing with a playful glint as he leaned in close. "Jabbing an S-rank missing nin in the ribs."

I cracked a smile, a small laugh puffing from my nose before humming thoughtfully as I looked him over. "Mm, I'm not convinced… he doesn't seem so dangerous to me."

"No?" He raised a brow.

"Hmm, no. Sorry. His hair is far too pretty."

Still smiling with a prideful push of his jaw, he held my arms apart and closed the space between us down to inches, voice pitching low into something more dangerous. "Listen here little bean, pretty hair or not, I'm what they call an FoS ."

"Pffft, oh yeah?" I laughed. "What's that mean? Full of shi–"

"Flee on sight!" he huffed the instant Kisame began chuckling under his breath at him, dropping my wrists to throw his arms up. "Geez, Iz. Give me some credit here. Be intimidated or something !"

"Aw. Okay dear, you're very scary," I consoled sweetly, patting his chest.

He deadpanned, sulking over to the table and plopping down across from Kisame, muttering, "Why do I get the feeling she doesn't actually think I'm scary…"

Little known fact: Once you've lived with someone long enough to know what they sing in the shower, the scare-factor kinda takes a dive.

For the record, Deidara was into a surprising amount of pop.

"Izumi." Kakuzu's eyes shifted to regard me with a squint and I could tell I was in for scolding of some sort. He was nothing if not consistent.

"Yes?" I blinked up at him.

"I thought I told you to be this thing's keeper. It was outside my door this morning."

"What thing?" I asked innocently, like I didn't know for a fact he was talking about Lucky.

Say his name, you coward.

He gestured towards the ground where Lucky sat, big hollow eyes staring up at Kakuzu, butt wiggling upon noticing the attention. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed further. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I'm not certain I do," I mused, "You're pointing to the floor… oh! Did you want me to sweep? Is the floor's cleanliness not to your liking, sire?"

His eye twitched, the vein in his forehead pulsing. "Do you think this is cute?"

"What, you mean Lucky?" I questioned, squatting down to pet him. "Of course I do! He's the cutest little lump ever."

As soon as my fingers grazed his tushy he whipped around and flopped over to me, clambering to get into my arms. I hefted him up, giggling as he nuzzled into my neck, and I greeted him properly as I was certain Kakuzu had not. "Hello little buddy, are you being so cute today? Are you having a good morning? Are you being the cutest, most handsomest boy ever?"

"Sure am, thanks for noticing," I vaguely heard Kisame answer from behind me and I almost laughed. He needed to stop being funny while I was feeling all squiggly about him.

"Izumi…" Kakuzu growled, probably annoyed at my attention span.

He should be used to it by now.

Honestly though.

I paused the scritches, snapping to look up at him as I hugged Lucky to my chest, resting my chin on his head. "Kakuzu?"

He stared at me for a long moment looking like I'd physically pained him, and his question came out low and muttered. "...Why are you like this?"

Ah, a question I'd asked myself many times. "Do you actually want me to answer that? Because I can, but it'll take me a whi–"

"No," he barked, pulling a hand down his face. "Just… sit down and shut up."

"Yes, please sit down," I could hear Itachi grumble from across the room, exasperated as he stirred at something in a pan.

I laughed, giving Lucky one more hug and a kiss to his forehead before setting him back down. "Okay, okay. But only because you asked so nicely."

Approaching the table, Deidara and Kisame seemed to be in a conversation about all the things Deidara could do to be scarier.

"I can't just make myself taller, dude," Deidara huffed.

Kisame shrugged. "Why not? I did it."

"You did not! You just are tall, it's not like you fucking decided on it!"

"Pft, you don't know that."

Deidara silently seethed at Kisame who grinned, eating it right up.

"Look, Blondie–"

"And names like that don't help!"

Kisame rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. Look, Kerplowwy Bang Bang Pottery Bird Guy or whatever."

"What the hell ?"

"I'm just sayin'! Your hobbies aren't exactly intimidating, what kind of nickname do you expect? At least Blondie rolls off the tongue easier."

"Okay, first of all," Deidara's visible eye narrowed on Kisame, "my 'hobbies' can bury a whole village, you dickhole. And secondly, what kind of fearsome shinobi goes by 'Blondie', yeah?"

"One with pretty blonde hair?" I offered innocently, wanting to cut the tension as I stood behind him fanning a section over his shoulder. Yes, it was as soft as it looked.

"Izumi, don't touch that, you don't know where it's been," Kakuzu muttered from behind, pulling my hand away.

"Hey screw you, gramps! You know my haircare product budget."

"Obnoxiously high."

"Yeah! So don't act like I don't wash up," Deidara scoffed. "And why the hell does this all keep coming back to my hair?!"

"That's a good point," Kisame noted. "Maybe that's what you should do–just shave it off. Then you can be scary, bald explosion guy."

Deidara gaped like he'd just suggested removing his head entirely. "Abso-fucking-lutely not," he chuffed, flipping his ponytail like he was auditioning for a shampoo commercial. "I have the best hair in this whole damn group, no way am I giving that up."

" What ?!" Kisame snorted with a laugh. "You seriously think you have the best hair in the Akatsuki?"

"Of course I do, it's not even a question!"

Oh no. These egomaniacs arguing over best hair? This was so not a line of discourse that would end well…

Kisame burst out laughing, waving a dismissive hand. "You're delusional, kid."

" I'm the delusional one?" Deidara questioned with an incredulous shrug. "Who do you think has better?!"

Kisame hummed, looking up in thought and ticking off his fingers. "Well there's Itachi of course . It's fine, but well kept. Rich, has a real nice natural gloss–"

"Okay, biased much? I don't need a damn dissertation about it, yeah?" Deidara interrupted, crossing his arms and slouching into his seat. Over by the range was Itachi shaking his head, quietly murmuring that his hair was nothing special and I stifled a laugh.

Kisame ignored all of this and continued his list. "Kakuzu is a volume King."

Notice how Kakuzu doesn't deny it.

Yeah, he looked weirdly smug even through his mask.

"The hell does that even mean!?" Deidara exclaimed. " I have volume! I have a shit ton of volume!"

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so then there's me . It might not be long, but honestly? The world probably couldn't handle me if it was." He sniffed. "It's very thick, very fun to play with–open offer to anyone, by the way. Uh, let's see here… oh! Sasori's corpse."

"What the fuck!"

"Ah ah ah, calm down, I'm not done. Then Konan–gorgeous coloring, especially in the light–aaand Pain, I guess. Why not."

"You just listed everyone but Tobi and Hidan!" Deidara shouted.

"Oh shit, I forgot about Tobi! Yeah, him too then. It looks fluffy. I should try petting it sometime, though I'm worried he'd like it a bit too much, y'know?"

"You have got to be shitting me," Deidara muttered, glaring at Kisame.

"Is no one going to mention Zetsu?" I asked.

"We don't talk about him," Kisame dismissed, clicking his tongue upon noticing the little heart beast sitting nearby. "Oh, but Lucky!"

"Lucky doesn't even have hair!" Deidara yelled.

"Oh yeah?" Kisame reached down to where Lucky was patiently begging for food, jostled him onto his back, stuffed his fingers into the threads of his belly, and pulled out a small, dirty tangle of random hairs that had gotten caught in him throughout his travels. "Then what's this?"

"That's disgusting is what that is!" Deidara's face twisted with disgust as he scraped back in his chair.

"Still nicer though," Kisame said with a grin, continuing to hold the nasty clump out to Deidara.

"You fuckin'..." he let out a snarl, slapping it away and snapping to look at me. "Izumi! End this now! Who has the best hair in the Akatsuki?!"

Uh oh. This was not a question I ever thought I'd be confronted with, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't already given it a lot of thought.

"Oh no," I said, waving my hands and shaking my head. "No, I am not getting involved in this."

It's Kakuzu.

Yes.

"What?! Why not?!"

"Because she needs to sit down," Itachi said as he milled about, tossing me a stern but pleading look as he pulled out some dishes from the cabinet. "Also, Kisame, please wash your hands…"

I gave him a small smile and continued to stand, sighing big and shrugging. "I'm sorry, but I can't choose. I think everyone has perfectly lovely hair. How about that?"

"That's lame! What're you, practicing to be a politician or something?!"

I snorted and shook my head. "I haven't played with everyone's hair, Dei! How could I possibly come to a fair conclusion?"

Deidara huffed, crossing his arms. "Fine."

"Dei," I said, angling a fond look at him, though he was too busy pouting to notice.

"Yeah?" he muttered without a glance.

"Dei," I repeated, pausing to see if he'd look at me. Still nothing. "Dei, please don't shave your head." I reached out and gathered a section of loose hair which finally garnered his attention.

The look on his face was so caught off guard that I had to fight between playing with his hair and pinching his adorable pink cheeks. I gave him a smile, gently pulling along the soft sheet of blonde before laying it smooth against his shoulder. "I love your hair, okay?"

Finally he seemed to lighten a bit, a begrudging little smile replacing his scowl. "Okay… fine. But I still gotta find a way to be more intimidating."

"Alright," I laughed lightly, "maybe if you're not too busy we can brainstorm later."

"Yeah!"

"Have you thought about sharpening your teeth," Kisame suggested thoughtfully, at which Deidara scoffed.

"Pft, if I wanted to be like you I'd just throw Izumi to the ground and snap at her."

Oh god. I froze in place, a noticeable cringe on my face. This was nothing I wanted to talk about, especially not in a public forum.

The room went quiet and Kisame reared his head back in offense. "The hell are you talkin' about? You hit your head or somethin', Blondie?"

"What?" Deidara barked through a laugh. " My head?! Do you seriously not remember shoving her yesterday? I saw the whole fuckin' thing!"

"What are you–no, of course not because I wouldn't fucking do that," Kisame defended, his usual humor gone before looking to me . Like I was his defense. "Right, Iz?"

Oh, big gulp.

The look on his face told me he genuinely didn't remember the heat of the moment and somehow I felt bad for him even in the mix of my own feelings.

I scrambled for the right words. "Well, um–I mean–"

"Iz?" he prodded, his expression dropping further. "Did I… I didn't do that, right?"

I shifted uncomfortably, taking a step back–closer to Kakuzu who suddenly looked like a giant security blanket to me.

"It wasn't a big deal," I said as confidently as I could with a flippant wave of my hand which didn't feel convincing enough. "It was nothing, really. I'm totally, completely fine about it. Really."

Hey, throw in a 'definitely' and it'll be reeeally convincing.

Kisame's brows pinched, his eyes deep set and unwavering from mine. I couldn't maintain it. My gaze shifted to the wall, to Deidara, then over to Itachi all within a frantic second.

Itachi was locked on me, paused mid-motion reaching for something on the counter like he was buffering and torn between coming over or staying put.

Deidara wasn't even looking at me to realize how much I just wanted to move past it. He was too busy enjoying actually having something to lord over the great and almighty Kisame. "Hey man, I know it was like, a whole twelve hours ago, so don't hurt yourself. Just take my word for it, it was pretty harsh. Poor Izumi."

If Kisame heard him, he was ignoring it. I could still sense his honed gaze and it was startling to suddenly feel Kakuzu behind me.

Unsure of whether I stepped back or he stepped forward, I was just grateful to lean against him. Never mind that it made me feel like a little kid, finding comfort in the weight of his hand on my shoulder as I clutched at his cloak.

The moment I did–fingers twisting into fabric, the feel of a large, sturdy man at my back steadying me against him–something in my mind pulled tight and snapped in an instant. A bursting ache, nothing lasting by any means, but with it came a disjointed jot down messed up memory lane.

Suddenly it was not Kisame before me, but Orochimaru .

His gaze settled on me–unwavering, unnerving .

I was so small blinking up at him, held against someone behind me–large and familiar.

They kept me there, a protective hand splayed against my collar. Their voice was deep and warning, it growled at Orochimaru. "Leave. You're not welcome, not after what you've done."

Things were getting fuzzy. I clung to the still discernible snippets, feeling like a wave was carrying me off too soon.

Orochimaru smiled. His voice tinny and distant. "Now, now… I'm only here to collect what is mine. How very rude of her though… trying to hide such a thing from me…"

Then he was saying… my name? It wasn't right though.

It had this undertone of concern that was so odd coming from those quirked lips. They kept moving and I strained to hear before it all washed away like a sand castle taken by the tide, my allotment of memory apparently at its limit.

Well how fun. So these flashbacks are just a whenever thing now, huh?

"Izumi?" It was my name again, that same voice as before.

"Izumi, are you alright?" It was Itachi's voice, I realized with a start.

I could feel the firm press of fingertips against me, two hands at my waist and another two heavy on my shoulders still. After a bout of stupefied blinking, I saw that Itachi was kneeling before me.

He looked up with a tight-lipped expression that softened only slightly when I swallowed, nodding.

Tipping my head back, Kakuzu was still behind, staring down with all his usual severity as I leaned against him. I unfisted his robes from my sweaty grip, muttering a quick apology as I suddenly became hyper-aware that all eyes were on me.

Kisame was looking at me from the table full of concern and poised to rush over. He was asking if he'd done something wrong–apologizing profusely for whatever it was.

Itachi glanced back at him and motioned for him to stay put before returning his attention to me. "Izumi," Itachi said again, refocusing me. I blinked, meeting his gaze.

"Hi. Yeah, sorry," I breathed, shaking the daze off, still processing. "I'm fine. I… I think it's like you said, I just need to sit," I offered with a shaky smile.

"You're sure?" he asked with an almost imperceptible squeeze of my waist, thumbs pressing into the divots above my knobby hip bones, something meant to be light and comforting if I had to guess, but it was more just… confusing.

"I've got her," Kakuzu gruffed before I could answer, pulling me away from Itachi and toward the table. "You get her something to eat."

My feet hardly kept up as I was practically dragged over and shoved into a seat, wavering for a moment.

"Sit up straight," Kakuzu ordered, staring down at me with his arms folded over his chest.

"Hey man, ease up on her," Deidara interjected with a sharp look to Kakuzu, reaching over and giving my shoulder a squeeze. "You could at least check on her, damn dude. You okay, Iz? Kinda spaced out there for a second."

"She already said she's fine," Kakuzu defended, jaw clenching beneath the cowl.

Deidara pulled a face. "Izumi could be bleeding out and she'd say she's fine!"

"I am!" I blurted, blinking and seeing Orochimaru's face in the flickers of my lids. "I-I definitely am that–fine."

"Then show me. Sit up straight. Stop swaying," Kakuzu said again, shooting Deidara a look that dared him to question his methods.

It was fine. I knew he'd only be this mean because he cared, not that I'd call him out.

"You uh, you need a lap to sit in, Iz?" Kisame asked sheepishly, patting his thighs and giving me this heartbreaking smile that was so forced and full of anxious energy, like he was trying so hard to fix whatever he'd done. "I got a uh, a nice cushy one right here for ya."

"I'm okay, really!" I assured quickly, running my hands through my hair and breathing deep. I sat pin straight to prove it. Kisame frowned. "See?" I looked to Kakuzu expectantly, shimmying my shoulders a bit to draw attention to the rigid line of my spine.

He sighed. "Yes. Good."

"Good enough for a head pat?"

He pulled a face, annoyance mixed with disgust, and grabbed the paper in front of him.

Taking that as a 'maybe later'.

"TOBI CAN GIVE IZUMI HEAD PATS!"

So, Tobi was awake.

He came screaming into the room and I did all I could just to stay in my chair as he proceeded to give me the most enthusiastic, verging on painful head pats I'd ever received.

"Ah! Tobi, that's plenty! That's good! Thank you! Ah! Ok–"

"Knock it off, moron!" Deidara snapped, yanking him away by the back of his cloak, effectively tossing him to the floor where Lucky eyed him warily, hissing low with raised hackles. "She's not feeling good, yeah?"

Tobi grabbed a hold of his mask, frantically scooting away from Lucky who slowly stalked after him.

"What do you mean, she's not feeling good?" Hidan questioned, appearing showered but shirtless in the entryway before waltzing over to me. Looming over and looking down as he played with the ends of my hair, he asked, "Someone botherin' you? Who do I need to deck in the face today, sweetheart?"

"No one!" I attested quickly, following up with a hiss beneath my breath, "And too soon!"

"Tobi," Deidara corrected blandly.

Hidan raised a brow at Tobi who scrambled to his feet and over to Itachi to use as a human shield. Itachi sighed, stepping away from him. "If you're going to be over here, then bring this food to Izumi." He gestured to a plate of white rice and grilled fish.

"Oh yes! Tobi can do that!"

Mm. I'll believe it when I see it.

Tobi grabbed the plate and whirled around only to smack into Hidan who was suddenly right behind him, almost dropping the food to the floor. With a massively overwrought, "PHEW!" Tobi pulled his wrist across his masked forehead. "Hidan! You almost made Tobi drop thi—"

"Hey Tobi," Hidan cut in, and without warning, slapped the plate of food up into his face. "Do me a favor and don't fuck with Izumi, alright? Next time I'll kill you."

"Hidan…" I groaned, watching helplessly from the table.

"Ahhhh! WHYYY?! But Tobi only gave Izumi head pats!" he cried with all the dramatics of having been doused in acid rather than rice.

I pulled my hands down my face, simply watching between my fingers as Tobi freaked out, trying to dig rice out of the hole in his mask with a leather-gloved finger. Lucky was going bonkers on the floor, fiendishly swallowing up all the fish before beginning to hoover the rice.

"Don't let him eat that!" Kakuzu bellowed, looking over with what I could only call angry despair.

"Why not?" Hidan asked, nudging Lucky with his foot but otherwise making no real effort to stop him. "He allergic or somethin'?"

"No, you fucking…" he broke off into a growl. "Do you honestly believe he has a functioning digestive system?! That food is just going to sit in him and rot ."

"Oooooh!" Hidan said in understanding, watching as Lucky devoured the last grain. "Welp. Too late now," he laughed.

Deidara was also losing his beans. "We'll just shake him out later, yeah?"

"Like a rug! And we can give him a bath!" I added, thinking that would be pretty darn cute. Lucky all covered in suds, all soapy and such.

"Speaking of your pet, Kakuzu," Itachi said, glancing over his shoulder as he plated more meals. "I think he requires some housetraining."

"It's not my pet ," Kakuzu growled, ignoring the rest and returning his attention to the business section of the paper.

"That's right, he's family ," Deidara reprimanded with a snarky smile.

Itachi sighed like none of this was the point he was getting at. "Well, whatever he is, he left a mess in the hall."

"Where?" Kisame asked.

"Right in front of my door…" Itachi muttered, grimacing and scuffing his foot against the ground at the memory.

He totally stepped in it .

Yep.

Kakuzu, to anyone not paying very close attention, seemed to dismiss this without reaction. But I was looking, and I was certain I did not imagine the slight, amused quirk of his lips. He cleared his throat and it left as quickly as it came.

"You could try cleaning it up," Kakuzu suggested dryly, not even looking away from the paper.

Itachi stared at him with a certain mounting intensity. Things were typically civil between Kakuzu and Itachi, but right now the tension was palpable and I just wanted to squash it down.

"It's my fault!" I broke in quickly. "I was supposed to watch him! I'm sorry, I just kinda didn't know he could open doors?"

Kakuzu let out a heavy sigh, licking his finger and flipping the page. "Yes. That's a new development."

"Aw, that just means he's getting so smart," I cooed down at him by my feet. Kakuzu chuffed, shaking his head.

Hidan came over with a plate of food and set it in front of me.

"Oh thank you! This looks really go–ahh!" Hidan was suddenly lifting me out of my seat like a ragdoll so he could sit beneath me.

"Heard something about you needing a warm lap," he murmured low in my ear as he situated me back on him, placing a kiss to the crook of my jaw. "I volunteer as tribute."

I smiled, turning toward him as everyone got up to get their food, making sure to keep my voice very low. "I see you've sorted out your, um… problem," I said with a little butt wiggle.

"Oh, you noticed that, huh?"

"I'm extremely perceptive. I notice things like my human chair not having a massive lump in it."

"Mm, massive . I like that. Keep up this squirming and I'll have another massive problem real soon."

"Hidan…" I snorted, facing forward again, my face dusted with pink. I hadn't meant to stroke his ego, yet there I was practically jerking it off.

And here I was thinking we were past that portion of our morning.

"You liked it too, if I recall correctly," Hidan said casually in his normal speaking voice as people started sitting back down. "Like, a lot ."

"What's Izumi like a lot?" Deidara asked, settling in beside us.

I was positive Hidan would shout something truthful and gross like 'my COCK' if given the chance, so I answered quickly. "Itachi's cooking!" I exclaimed, shoveling down a huge mouthful of rice.

It earned me a very disgruntled noise from Hidan.

Itachi looked over blankly upon hearing his name. I gave him a full-cheeked smile as politely as I could and gestured happily to the food in thanks. He looked like he wanted to say something, but a quirk of his lips and a nod was all the acknowledgement I got before he turned away.

Situating myself to look back at Hidan, I gave him a pointed look, nodding discretely toward Itachi who was now by himself cleaning up.

He pulled a face, leaning down to whisper, "You got a post-fuck twitch or somethin'? Not gonna lie, that's kinda cute."

"Hidan!" I hissed, cheeks flushing hot again and praying no one else heard that.

Deidara snorted out a laugh.

Welp, he heard it.

Ugh.

"I know you know that's not it!" I scolded. He smirked and I gave him a no-nonsense look, silently declaring it a no smirk zone.

Sighing, he muttered, "Okay, fine . What?"

"Now's your chance."

He hummed. "Nah, I'm not hungry. Especially not if fuckboy made it."

"Oh my God… I don't mean for you to get food!" I whined. "I mean for you to apologize , remember?"

"Ehh, I'm remembering other parts better, give me a second," he said with a stupid look on his face, clearly remembering the other parts in vivid detail. "You sure I really agreed to that?"

"Positive."

"Damn," he blew out a big gust of breath, "I must really love you or somethin'."

And that cracked me. Goodbye serious, stern Izumi–she tried so hard–hello trying not to smile and failing miserably Izumi.

"Then prove it," I goaded, chewing on my lip expectantly. "Apologize."

He laughed low and breathy, shaking his head as he looked me over. "Evil," he said, "but fine. A promise is a promise. One apology comin' up, sweetheart."

"Thank you," I whispered, equal parts exasperated and adoring. I made to move off him so he could get up, but he held me firmly in place.

"Hey, Uchiha!" Hidan called over to Itachi who met him with a blank stare.

Wait… What is he… is he just… doing this from across the room?

"Hey, so, Izumi wanted me to apologize so, uh, sorry you made me punch you."

"Hidan!" I balked, whirling around and smacking him in the chest.

"What?!" he shrugged violently.

"That was the worst apology I've ever heard!"

"Oh c'mon, don't tell me that doesn't count! That was fuckin' hard to say!"

Kisame was dying laughing. "That was honestly way better than I expected."

"Tobi next, Tobi next!" Tobi chanted gleefully, banging his hands on the table like getting a quarter-assed apology from Hidan was some sought after prize. It was Deidara who shut him up this time, grabbing the back of his head and forcing it down into his plate.

"It's really fine, Izumi," Itachi said over the muffled Tobi noises, hanging up a rag and grabbing a plate of his own. "We're shinobi, not school children. I don't require an apology."

"I just… He could have been nicer…" I grumbled, giving Hidan a stern look. Super angry eyebrows.

"You want me to be nicer? Here, try this–" based on the mischievous look in his eye, nothing good was about to come out of him, "–Hey Uchiha, purple looks great on you, man." He loosely gestured to his face about where Itachi's bruising was. "I really think it's your color."

"Oh my god…" I groaned. Itachi sighed and began eating, ignoring him entirely.

Kisame smiled sharply from across the table, leaning back and taking a thoughtful moment to chew before responding. "Bet it'd look better on you, Hidan. Really bring out your eyes. Want me to help with that?"

Hidan somehow managed to flash an equally sharp grin despite his blun teeth. "Oh honey, I know I look good in purple. You forget who my partner is? I wear it all the time."

"Leave me out of this," Kakuzu grumbled. I'd nearly forgotten he was at the table he'd been so quietly engrossed in his reading.

Kisame let out a belly laugh and it was a weird reminder of how usually good-natured he was–despite the subject at hand being beating Hidan into a bruised pulp.

Even though the apology was less than stellar, the result was about as good as I could have hoped for. The air of tension was mostly gone, and no one endeavored to destroy each other throughout the rest of breakfast.

The worst that happened was Kisame getting in some trouble for feeding more fish to Lucky under the table thinking Kakuzu might not notice–he did. At least we had to clean him anyway.

So I sat there contently looking around as everyone finished eating. It wasn't perfect. Things were uncomfortable with Kisame. The lingering tension between Itachi and Hidan. Lucky and Tobi were both different brands of chaos that needed constant supervision.

But despite all this, my heart felt as stupidly full as my stomach.

Hidan was beneath me, his chin on my shoulder, hands idly rubbing my thighs, nose occasionally nudging against my jaw. He'd follow up with a kiss and a combination of sweet and perverted nothings.

Him and Deidara were getting along really well, cackling throughout most of the meal which made it hard for me to hear the quiet conversation going on between Itachi and Kisame across the table.

Even so, Itachi caught my gaze a few times and met me with something close to a smile for one of them.

Kakuzu even indulged me with some conversation when I asked what he was reading. There were going to be tax hikes soon, so he told me all about his plan to evade them and I listened with a blank smile and many nods, fiercely pretending to understand.

Small problems aside, things were good . I was alive and awake and home .

"Why are you doing that with your face?" Kakuzu muttered upon noticing my doofy stare.

"You mean smiling ?" I asked with a laugh. "Is it bothering you that much?"

He merely grumbled in response.

"To be fair, Iz, it is kinda creepy when you're smiling at nothing, yeah?" Deidara said.

Hidan agreed, "Yeah little known fact: Izumi is actually super creepy."

I gaped, shifting to look at him as Deidara started cracking up. "What the heck! Who's side are you on?!"

"Hey now, you're the one always staring at me when I'm sleeping and shit. You're like, totally obsessed with me or somethin'," he said, looking wayyy too amused for his own good.

"I'm not creepy and I wasn't smiling at nothing!" I defended. "I was smiling at breakfast !"

"At breakfast," Deidara laughed.

"Yes. Breakfast. In case you forgot, I wasn't attending them for a while," I huffed, jabbing at what was left of my food. "This is the first time I've gotten to eat with you guys in a few months so excuse my joy , please."

"Oh shit… you're right." Deidara blinked, realization dawning on him as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Aw man, now I'm just an asshole. Sorry, Iz."

With a tilt of my head I gave him a smile. He was cute, that much I could concede, and lucky for him it made up for some of the things that came out of his mouth. "It's fine, Dei, I know you're not just an asshole."

"Yeah, you're also a dick!" Hidan jeered, elbowing him in the side.

"And a jackoff douchebag," Kisame added. Hidan laughed, clearly excited by this new game of how many insults can I sling at my friend , and I could see the gears turning as he mentally scrambled for some more.

"Ohh and a very smart and handsome senpai!" Tobi jumped in, clearly not understanding the rules .

"I agree with Tobi!" I said, hoping against logic that our positivity would be enough to stop the onslaught of Deidara denigration.

Hidan scoffed, "Pffft, more like a dildo fucknut!"

What the heck is a dildo fucknut?

A question for later.

"Oh yeah?" Deidara said, seeming amused. "Well, I'd rather be a dildo fucknut than a neutered little bitch boy."

Kisame barked out a laugh and things quickly devolved from there–three grown men all slinging insults at each other and one Tobi, trying his hardest to be a good boy.

I just sighed, glancing at Kakuzu who was ignoring them with professional prowess, then over to Itachi who was quietly monitoring the situation as he ate. He was already looking in my direction, so catching his gaze was easy enough.

A shrug and an exasperated sigh was all I could give him as the insults became more frequent and even louder, something about a 'greasy taint monster' was shouted by my ear, and I couldn't help but laugh.

The corners of his mouth perked at this and he gave me a head-shaking gesture as if to say, "You're the one that said you missed this."

I really did.

"Okay boys," I eventually interjected, wanting to be authoritative, but my laughing probably ruined that. "That's plenty, I think. I'm very sorry my happiness was so disturbing and I'm even more sorry it somehow created this ." I gestured to whatever the heck was happening. "I promise I'll try to keep it in check."

"Tobi forgives Izumi! Tobi doesn't mind that Izumi's creepy!"

I snorted. "Thanks Tobi. You missed the point but…" I sighed, "you are a good boy."

He squealed at the simple praise–I had to admit, there was a lot to unpack with him and I wasn't so sure I wanted to. Best not to question the jacked man-child in a criminal organization.

At Itachi's insistence, I ate another small serving before Tobi was made to clean everyone's dishes. In an obvious display of caretaking one-uppery, Hidan was adamant that he carry me back to bed for more rest. It did not matter that I wasn't tired in the least.

I called for Lucky and he flopped behind us happily.

Hidan was sweet in setting me up in bed with a nest of pillows and blankets, making sure I had a good book and some water on the nightstand. Lucky scrambled up, flouncing over to the little valley between my legs where he spun around a few times and settled down with a content plop.

"You guys are cute," Hidan said, giving me a peck on the cheek. "I'm gonna go, okay sweetheart? Just wanna get training out of the way early so you can get some rest. I want you feelin' alright for our date tonight."

"Okay," I agreed with a resigned smile. He was… a little less sweet after that, but I was positive good intentions were there.

"I am gonna fuck you so good later, baby girl," he promised, fluffing the pillow behind my head and running a hand through my hair, "So rest up now, don't want you passing out before I get to come all over your cute little ass. Been thinkin' about you non-stop, baby girl."

"O-okay," I choked, at a loss for words at his brashness as always. He grinned, gave me another smooch, and was on his way.

An Aside: Hidan and Kakuzu, Deidara and Tobi

"Sooo after training I need today off. Maybe tomorrow too, I don't know yet," Hidan declared as he sauntered back into the kitchen to find Tobi finishing up at the sink, Deidara getting up to leave, and Kakuzu still engrossed in his morning reading. Kisame and Itachi were already gone.

Kakuzu spared him a glance over the top of the paper, grumbling, "Do I even want to ask why…"

"Oh, can I have today off too?" Deidara joined in.

"Who do you think I am?" Kakuzu questioned, incredulous at the sheer idiocy. "You're not my partner and I don't give out the work orders anyway."

"I don't know, you're old?" Deidara shrugged. "I mean, you definitely act like you're in charge sometimes."

"No," Kakuzu said.

"Wha? Who are you saying no to?" Hidan asked.

"Everyone."

"Even me?" Deidara questioned. "Because you definitely are old, I don't think you can really deny–"

Hidan shoved himself between Deidara and Kakuzu, leaning on the table and looking down his nose at Kakuzu with a pleading, sort of annoyed look. "Come on , Kakuzu. You know we don't have shit to do. We just got back. Just a day, that's it!"

Kakuzu shot Hidan an impatient glare. "What on earth do you need time off for, Hidan?"

"Well, I sorta told Izumi I'd take her out. Just like, on a date! Nothing dangerous!"

"Ohhh a date !" Tobi squealed, running over covered in soapy sink water to wrap himself around Deidara's shoulders, rocking him back and forth in the tight embrace. "Senpai could bring Tobi and we could make it a DOUBLE DATE!"

"We're not going on a fucking double date, Tobi, now get off me!" Deidara ground out, worming out of his arms and shoving him to the ground for the second time that morning.

"Do you mind?" Hidan turned back to ask. "Tryin' to have a conversation here."

"Uh, yah, I know, and I'm trying to listen to it!"

Hidan sighed, turning back to Kakuzu. "C'mon, man. I already told her I would do this."

With a tired shake of his head, Kakuzu just muttered, "It's not my fault you lied to her."

"I didn't fuckin' lie! I just need the time!"

Kakuzu slammed the paper down, clearly realizing he would not be reading it while Hidan was present. "It's not about the time , Hidan. As always, you have not thought anything through."

"What's that supposed to mean!? You're just jealous I got plans without you for once!"

"Redirect your petulant anger, boy," Kakuzu growled. "As if I care what you get up to in your down time. Pain will never approve her being taken off premise for recreational purposes."

"I ain't looking for fuckin' approval ," Hidan sneered, looking like the suggestion alone was a smelly one. "And in case you didn't notice, he ain't exactly around a whole lot! Just cover for me, man. What's the big deal?"

"I'll cover for you guys!" Deidara piped up. "Tobi will too if I tell him to."

"Tobi would rather go on the double date…" he pouted, now resigned to stay on the floor like giant starfish. It didn't help that Deidara's foot was on his stomach.

"It's not about that either. Pain will know when you leave," Kakuzu said, raising his right hand, middle finger at attention.

"Okay fuck you too!" Hidan snapped, making a motion to grab that finger but Deidara pulled him back by the shoulder.

"Dude, no. He's talking about the rings," he realized aloud.

"Huh?" Hidan's face dropped into something stupid. He stared at the ring on Kakuzu's right middle finger, then his own, worn on his left index. It occurred to him that he was directed to wear it at all times, but never really questioned why. "What about the fucking rings?"

"They're like trackers or something, yeah?" Deidara said, splaying his hand out, inspecting his own.

"No shit?" Hidan mused, gears turning. "I guess Pain does talk to us through them sometimes… Well in that case, I'll just leave it here."

"It's not that simple. He can tell if you take it off, Hidan." Hidan stared down at the silver band, idly twisting it like he was deep in thought. "Now let's go," Kakuzu gruffed, pushing him along by his shoulder. "We can get some sparring matches in."

"Yeah… sure," he agreed, scuffing along, mind elsewhere. "Wait… you wanna spar with me ?! You always wanna do solo stuff!"

Kauzu raised a brow. "Are you going to make me regret it?"

"No!" Hidan blurted quickly with a sudden pep in his step, catching up to his partner.

Kakuzu couldn't help but feel like maybe he ought to give Hidan a little more attention every now and then. It seemed to make him excited. Too excited. It was… irritating, or something. Perhaps normalizing these little acknowledgments would be best for both of them.

Deidara yelled at Tobi to get up, that they should do the same, and Tobi got excited all over again at the idea of a double spar. Deidara had to explain several times on their way out that double-sparring was not the same as double-dating. Also that they would be doing neither of those things.

It was after a lot of thinking throughout his morning activities, a shower, and checking in on Izumi that Hidan finally felt he had a pretty good date plan formulated. He could be clever when he wanted to be, and damn did he want to be.

Izumi was getting that fucking date. It would be awesome. He refused to fuck this up.

Luckily Deidara said he'd wear Hidan's ring for him while he was out. They agreed, no flying around and being places Hidan wouldn't normally be and all that. He promised to hang out and watch Lucky in Izumi's room for the evening.

In exchange, Hidan agreed to wear a turtleneck for a week, which Izumi wasn't particularly thrilled with, but it was a small price to pay in his eyes. Hidan felt confident their plan would work.

Sure, so Pain could tell when the ring came off, but there was no way he could tell who was wearing it, right? Deidara and Hidan pressed the tips of their fingers together and carefully slid the ring off one and onto the other–a seamless transition.

They high fived when nothing of note happened over the next ten seconds, taking it as undeniable proof of their success. There was no way this wasn't going to work.

"Hidan," Pain greeted with crossed arms, standing outside as Hidan opened the door to leave with Izumi in tow. "May I ask what you think you're doing."

Wrong.

"You gotta be fuckin' kidding me," he muttered, glaring at the only thing standing between him and making Izumi happy. Some edgy ginger fuck.

"I'm not kidding, no. I'm actually very curious to know why Deidara is wearing your ring right now."

"How the fuck–wait, are you spying on us with these things you creep?!" Hidan yelled, tugging Izumi to get behind him. "Because I definitely didn't see this shit in the contract!"

"Hidan, you never signed any contract…" Pain sighed, exasperated already and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Well maybe you should… I don't know, consider them! Like what kinda fucking organization are you running here?!"

"An illegal one," he deadpanned.

"Well then I got no reason to play by the fucking rules, do I?" Hidan challenged.

"Hidan," Pain said flatly. "Where were you going with her?"

"I'm just taking her out for a sec!" he shouted, huffing angrily. "It's one village over. It's not even that big and it's only like an hour away. Just for dinner. Look, I fucking promise I can take care of her."

"Okay. That's what I thought," Pain said, holding out his hand in a halting gesture. "Change in plans then–you will not be doing that. Go back inside and bring her with you."

"Or what? You gonna kill me?" Hidan laughed, stepping forward and tipping his chin up.

Pain stood with his palm still out like it was more a threat than a signal to stop. "Not exactly," he said. "But how would you feel if I put a lock on her door, Hidan? One that only I could open?"

Hidan paused, a deep scowl forming. Yeah. That was a threat he didn't like.

"What if…" Pain mused, seeing this was definitely the road he needed to go down, "I put her in a metal-lined room, one she couldn't escape from, and made my eyes the only key to open it. Hm… that would be reckless though, wouldn't it? I can be indisposed for long periods of time. Perhaps I could have it open for the rinnegan and sharingan. Yes, I think that would work, don't you?"

Jaw clenching several times, Hidan did not answer immediately. He leaned in, not fully advancing but definitely not backing down, and spat on the ground by Pain's feet. "Do that and I'll rip your stupid swirly ass eyes out of your fucking skull and make a cute little keychain out of them."

Pain's lips quirked up just slightly in a rare show of emotion, and Izumi, looking on absolutely mortified from behind Hidan, did not like it one bit. She tugged at him, quietly urging suggestions to go back inside. "It's okay, Hidan, maybe we should just–"

"Is that you talking, Hidan?" Pain asked without a blink. "Or them ?"

Hidan's eyes narrowed, nerve struck. His head angled down with a glower, gaze sharply focused on Pain from beneath deeply angled brows. "Does it really matter?" he finally asked, voice so rough it was nearly a growl.

Pain seemed to consider this, though he also seemed to dismiss it after only a moment. "You seem to forget that she is Akatsuki property, first and foremost," he said with an ominous tilt of his head, eyes flickering to Izumi and back to Hidan. "And I have been more than lenient in her handling, allowing you all to treat her like a pet… But I don't need to be."

"Fuck. You," Hidan seethed , squeezing hard at Izumi's wrist.

"Hidan, please ," Izumi begged in a whisper. Hidan's nostrils flared, his chest puffed. He only stopped seeing red at the small, pained noise squeaking out of Izumi as she pried at his fingers, his grip on her so tight.

"Shit, sorry baby!" he whispered in a rush, bending down and grabbing her wrist to inspect it, frowning at the red crescents his digging nails left behind. She rubbed it, assuring him it was okay and pleading to just go back inside.

At odds with himself, he looked back to Pain and straightened up. Pain met him with a raised brow. "Case in point. Now go back inside, Hidan. I won't say it again."

After a tense moment of the two simply staring at each other, Hidan shook his head and scoffed. He turned on his heel, snatching Izumi up and effortlessly hoisting her into his arms, yelling back over his shoulder, "I'm gonna kick her door off it's fucking hinges before you can even think about putting a dumbass lock on it, asshole."

"Um, please don't do that," Izumi said. He laughed, letting her know he couldn't make any promises.

They made their way back through the common area where Kakuzu was sitting. "Bad date?" he asked, and there was literally zero attempt to hide the thick undertones of I told you so .

"Shut the fuck up, Kakuzu," Hidan sneered, stamping past him, down the hall and practically kicking Izumi's door down like he'd said.

"Whoa, what the hell?!" Deidara shouted, rearing his head back. He was sitting on Izumi's bed donning a half-dried mud mask, paused in the middle of painting his toenails. "What happened?!"

Hidan set Izumi down and looked at Deidara, shaking his head. He sucked at his teeth with a long, drawn out breath, hands on his hips, and said, "Welp, Plan B it is."

Deidara paused for a second before grinning, the mud mask cracking at the cheeks. "Yeah? For real?"

Despite his seething rage only moments ago, a wolfish grin spread across Hidan's face. "For fucking real. You still in?"

"Oh, I'm in."

Izumi stared at them helplessly, not a shred of a clue as to what that meant. But if they were both this excited over it, it couldn't be good.

Notes:

HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING? I know it's been forever T_T As always, I will wonder if anyone is still reading this XD so please do feel free to drop a line, even if it's just to say hi or throw an emoji at me. I will let it hit me squarely in the face as I accept all forms of love.

Thanks for reading dears 3

Question for the audience though, who ACTUALLY has the best hair in the Akatsuki?

(Edit: LMAO bless y'all for actually answering this question, rn we've got Itachi and Deidara tied for best hair)

Chapter 55: Waiting Games

Notes:

HEADS UP: I got some art commissioned of Lucky interacting with Izumi and some of the Akatsuki, as well as some cute chibis of Hidan and Izumi. That art is by asiriyep on tumblr and I highly recommend them, their art is so cute and they are so lovely to work with 3

I'll also be throwing in a cuddle sheet of Izumi and Hidan which you can also find on my tumblr fireflylitsky. It's not quite nsfw but it's a little intimate, so just forewarning!

Anyway, happy reading I hope!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Plan B?" I questioned with a nervous waver.

"Yep!" Hidan and Deidara answered in unison. Oh, yeah, they were way too excited.

Not good–confirmed.

"Care to elaborate?" I pressed.

"Nope!" Hidan chirped.

"It's a surprise, Iz, geez," Dei chastised, going back to painting his nails.

"Yeah, Plan B as in BE patient, sweetheart," Hidan said, leaning in to plant a little peck on my forehead, "because it's probably gonna take me like a week or two to get everything all set."

"A week?!" I balked.

"Or two," he reminded, "Probably definitely two, now that I really think about it. Lotta prep. But yeah, don't make me say it again, I'm already suffering at the fuckin' thought." He gave me a deadly serious look, head angled and brows raised and I knew what he was getting at. The man definitely knew how to torture himself.

"What the heck are you planning that's going to take that long?!"

"You know what they say," Hidan began, planting his hands on his hips with a shrug, "if you can't bring the girl to the date, you bring the date to the girl."

"Hidan, no. No one says that…"

"She's right," Deidara agreed as he capped his bottle of nail polish and admired his toes.

"Well maybe they should!"

"Okay, so not the point. But also," I huffed, running my hands through my hair like a mad woman, "what does that even mean?!"

"It means relax, sweetheart," Hidan coaxed, grinning and completely unperturbed by my dismay. He laid his hands on my shoulders and gave them a reassuring squeeze. "I got this shit handled. Got a whole ass plan with a letter assigned to it and everything. Might need to make a trip or two to get everything, but nothin' too crazy I don't think!"

Deidara snorted out a laugh, further cracking his mud mask. "Yeah! Plus we do everything in pairs, so at least you can rest easy knowing he'll have a good, responsible babysitter the whole time. Hell, maybe I'll help, then you can really relax since I'm amazing and everything, yeah?"

"Exactly, and when we–wait what the fuck did you just say?!" Hidan snapped, glaring at Deidara. "You know you're younger than me, right?!"

"Only physically, yeah? Mentally speaking, I'm super mature–leagues ahead of you."

"You're so full of shit," Hidan growled, making a move toward him. "I am gonna mess up your nails so fuckin' bad, I bet they're still all tacky and shit."

"You better not!" Deidara cried, aghast and scooting back further on the bed. "I'm not gonna help you if you do!"

"Who said I need help!?" Hidan laughed, lunging for Deidara's toes, which, based on his horrified expression, were very much as tacky as Hidan suspected. Ripe for destruction.

"You need my help with Pain!" Deidara shouted his reminder, breathing out in relief when it managed to effectively halt Hidan. "You're gonna need me to talk to him about getting approval for the one thing. Yeah?"

"Approval?" I asked. "For the thing? What thing?"

Hidan let out a groaning sigh, apparently deeming Deidara's point valid enough because he paused his assault. "The thing, Sweetheart. C'mon, get with it," he tutted, shaking his head before returning his attention to Deidara, begrudgingly grumbling, "Yeah, okay, that'll probably go better for you. Pain ain't exactly my biggest fan at the moment."

Deidara gasped in a mockery of shock, " What?! But you're always so pleasant to him!"

"Okay. Shut the fuck up. The douchebag threatened Izumi, I'm not about to start bein' cool with the guy now, alright?"

Deidara's brows practically jumped up to his hairline. "I'm sorry, he what'ed Izumi?"

"It was empty," I assured quickly, not so sure that was true, but I wanted to ease the tension anyway.

"Yeah, and so is my jar of fucks to give, sweetheart," Hidan dismissed with a flippant wave of his hand. "The dude said he'd lock her up if I did anything stupid basically."

Deidara pinched the bridge of his nose. "Anything stupid? She's totally screwed, man!"

"Not anything," I chastised, shooting Hidan a pursed-lip look of disapproval, "he's exaggerating. Just… look, guys, I don't know what this plan B is… and it is honestly so cute that you're getting all excited over it, and I love to see you getting along, but please be careful, okay? I don't think he was too serious but… I don't know. I think he could be. I just don't want anyone getting in trouble."

"Don't worry, baby girl," Hidan assured, looping his arm around my waist and tugging me into a hug. "None of the stupid parts involve you, I promise."

I deadpanned, not that he could even see my expression. "You realize that doesn't make me feel better, right?"

Hidan and Deidara both thought this was pretty darn funny. But maybe I was worrying a bit much… after all, they were S-rank or whatever, and that was apparently impressive.

Yeah, be cool for once, Izumi.

I was cool. I could be cool.

For days I tried being cool and my God, it was hard.

Having to watch those two whisper and cackle amongst themselves, constantly planning and plotting? Even dragging other people into it!? The whole thing seemed like it was becoming this massive production and I was somehow both clueless about it and the center of it.

But in an effort to maintain my stalwart coolness, I tried my best to just focus on normal things. Things I had control over.

Summer was in full bloom and most of my days were spent outside with the boys. Kakuzu was pretty strict about my continued physical therapy, which required lots of walking on my part, so Lucky would accompany me as we toured the grounds, always within sight of Kakuzu and Hidan as they trained of course.

Lucky would burp up some threads and tie them around my wrist to steer me back on course whenever he felt I'd meandered too far. On one occassion he even went so far as to encase me in a bubble and pull me along behind him with a thread–thus the Izumi Balloon was created.

It was highly amusing to pretty much everyone but Kakuzu, who found it in himself to get mad at both of us over it. Me for wandering so far to make Lucky go to such extremes, and Lucky for giving me a free ride instead of making me walk my ass back on my own two "spindly stick legs" as he called them.

Lucky either didn't understand or care about the scolding, because he simply scuttled up to Kakuzu, blurped the connecting thread into his hand, and ran off. Apparently he'd caught sight of Tobi and thought to stalk him for a while.

I found him later gnawing at the trunk of a particularly sappy tree–a real joy to get out of his threads, by the way.

You see, the sap was shiny. That was something we discovered he was attracted to. We only came to find that out when Deidara's scope went missing, and after much to-do, was found under Kakuzu's bed along with a small horde of objects that Lucky apparently thought were valuable–old screws, loose change, a wad of dried up noodles, some knives, bottles of nail polish, a pair of handcuffs that no one would claim, and yeah… the list went on.

So Deidara got his scope back and after that, everyone knew where to look when something shiny went missing. Naturally, Kakuzu did scold Lucky and commanded him to stop hoarding treasure… but, I could tell his heart wasn't in it. He might have even been a little proud.

With everyone home for a bit, there were plenty of chores that needed to be done. It honestly felt kind of nice to get back into the routine of something, even if that something was cleaning. I could take care of most things in the house, but I left the more strenuous stuff to the boys–like hosing down Lucky because yes, after not too long he began to reek of rotting fish.

Thanks, Kisame.

And since it was partly Kisame's fault, he was designated as lead washer—another reason I decided to skip out.

Hidan and Deidara told me all about it of course, both of them wheezing laughing, talking over each other and finishing each other's sentences like they'd been besties for years.

Cute.

It really kinda was.

They went on and on about the effort it took just to wrangle Lucky, because apparently the little bugger thought it was like, a game of extreme tag or something? During the process Deidara got bubbled twice and Hidan's ankles got sewn together, the bottom of his chin all dirty and scraped up from how he fell.

I asked where Kakuzu was in all of this since Lucky would readily obey his commands, and I was told he was there, but just watching.

Yeah, that checks out.

It was crap like that, that made me worry about what they got up to when I wasn't around to keep them in line. The problem now was that I wasn't allowed to be around while they were 'working on things'.

Hidan somehow managed to rope almost everyone into helping him with various date night projects, and during this time, certain areas of the base became off limits to me.

Deidara even yelled at me to stop spoiling the surprise when I caught a glimpse of them building what looked like a fenced-in enclosure outside?! At that point I just stopped trying to figure anything out.

Itachi was one of the few members Hidan did not approach for help, so because of that, he'd often be the only one around in the afternoon, and I had to admit it was kind of nice to spend some quiet time with him.

We wouldn't do anything particularly special together. Usually I'd be on the couch reading, sometimes with a Lucky resting in my lap, and Itachi would scare the living beans out of me by suddenly appearing at my side, looming over me to ask something like, "do you mind if I join you?"

Of course I'd tell him no, I would never mind, and he didn't need to keep asking me.

"I'd hate to assume," he said when I first told him this.

And I gave him a stern, narrow-eyed look like 'too bad, you better start assuming, mister', to which he responded with a soft smile.

"My apologies, Izumi," he said, laying down on the couch across from the one I was on, closing his eyes and lacing his fingers together over his stomach. "I'll try to be less considerate in the future."

"Well, thank you. I'd like that."

A small puff of a laugh escaped from his nose. "Strange girl," he murmured, perhaps more to himself than anything, and maybe it would have come off as an insult if he hadn't said it so fondly.

"Brooding boy," I countered under my breath, casting him a feigned dirty look.

His head lolled to the side and he opened his eyes to regard me. "You think I brood?"

"Oh, I know you do, Itachi Uchiha."

He raised a brow, the corners of his lips quirking up. "And your evidence for such a claim?"

"You're doing it right now, look at you!" I laughed, sitting up and gesturing over at him with my book still in hand, thumb in the spine so as not to lose my place as the pages flopped around.

"I am only laying here," he stated.

"Exactly! You aren't pouring over scrolls or cleaning weapons or anything. You're just lying there, brooding."

"The beginning stage of a nap hardly qualifies as brooding, Izumi."

"Pft! The way you do it, it does. And you don't even nap, so don't you try to pass this off as that because we both know you're full of it."

"Perhaps I wasn't napping," he conceded calmly, apparently amused by my tenacity over such a frivolous thing. "But I wasn't brooding."

"Okay, then what were you doing, mister?"

Wearing that wisp of a smile he rolled his head back to center, closing his eyes once more as he hummed, "Hm. Enjoying the company, I suppose."

"Yeah, see that's what I th–oh. Wait, what?" I blinked, sitting up straight to gawk at him properly.

His smirk grew bigger and he cracked an eye open, just one, to cast me a silent sidelong glance. "Hm?"

"Wh-but…I'm just over here reading quietly to myself? What's there to enjoy?"

He was quick to answer, "You're not that quiet."

"Um, what the heck is that supposed to mean?"

Itachi sighed, keeping his growing smile in check. "It's not a complaint, but you're a rather noisy reader, Izumi. For instance, right now, even though my eyes are closed, I can tell me saying so frustrates you by the way you just huffed from your nose."

I stared, mouth agape. How dare he be so accurate in reading me.

"Your jaw just fell open, I could hear that too. You do it a lot when you're reading, I assume when something surprises you. Sometimes you click your tongue like you're disappointed in a character's decision. Conversely, you'll hum in approval from time to time."

I didn't say anything and was surprised to find he actually continued on. Oh how I loved the ever so rare chatty Itachi.

"There are times when you turn the page so quickly you nearly tear it, but other times it's slow and you've been fiddling with the corner in preparation to turn it for some time. I can also tell when you've zoned out, as the page does not turn for a long time on occasion."

How the heck did he pay attention to all this stuff? Or better yet, why?! Itachi Uchiha would forever be the strangest creature alive.

"So no," he said. "Not brooding. Just listening."

"You honestly expect me to believe that you came in here to do nothing but listen to me be an annoyingly loud reader?" I asked, eyes falling deadpan on him.

"I never said it was annoying," he clarified first and foremost with a shake of his head. "And yes, I do."

"And you called me strange," I teased, flopping back onto the couch and curling onto my side to face him, hugging the book to my chest.

"I did," he mused, clearly not considering taking it back.

"That's kind of embarrassing," I laughed, cheeks dusting pink. "I thought it was just your eyes that were super powered. You really notice all that stuff though, huh?"

His eyes cracked open and his head tilted onto its side until chin met shoulder, a curtain of black, silken hair neatly framing his face. He said nothing more, just looked at me like that and it took me a moment to realize his sharingan had activated, tomoes circling his pupils slowly before coming to a stop.

"Yes," he murmured after a long, comfortable silence, "I notice."

For just a few words without a whole lot of inherent weight to them, they sure felt heavy. I found myself holding a breath along with his gaze, not a word to say because my brain was absolutely blank before one question finally swam to the surface.

"What else do you notice?" I asked quietly, entranced with the way his eyes focused on my lips like he was reading them despite his excellent hearing.

He blinked slowly and lingered on the close, looking thoughtful before regarding me once more, his expression softening as it so rarely did. When he opened his mouth to respond, I almost thought the scream came from him, but no, Tobi was screeching his way into the room with Lucky hot on his heels, threads shooting out in an attempt to unmask him.

"WAHHH IZUMI! ITACHI! TOBI NEEDS HELP."

Well well well, if it isn't Tobi, destroyer of moments.

Tobi really did have impeccable timing when it came to getting between Itachi and I.

Of course I helped him, plucking Lucky up to give him a stern talking to for the bajillionth time about not harassing Tobi. When I waggled my finger at him, he tried to put it in his mouth, so I wasn't too sure my message came across.

For now though, Tobi was safe once more and the moment was gone. Reflecting on this, I figured that was probably for the best, because honestly, I didn't need anything to become complicated.

And Itachi was always so… complicated.

I loved Hidan with all my heart, and that was simple.

Even after a week of suffering through his anxiety-inducing plans taking place around me, one look at him flashing that smile and hearing his laugh was enough to remind me that I was so stupidly head over heels for him.

Apart from the time he spent away from me so he could set up for ' stuff and things' as he so aptly put it, we were basically inseparable. Hidan, as it turned out, was quite versatile and downright multifunctional. He made for a good bed–big man, easy to sleep on. A good chair–except when he'd get a lump. A good planner–always reminding me when it was time for physical therapy.

He was very diligent about that.

On top of Kakuzu's strict routine, Hidan added what he referred to as bonus sessions–or boner sessions when he was feeling particularly hilarious. Those were, um, private physical therapy lessons that we didn't discuss with Kakuzu…

I liked them... uh... a good amount. A very normal, reasonable amount.

Harlot.

Yes, maybe. Anyway~

Not even in a sexual way, but I practically lived on his lap, and the codependency of that was barely a thought in my head. Healthy coping mechanisms be damned. It felt too good–too safe–for me to care or question it. If he was sitting, I was sitting on him and that was that. This was something he made sure of and I didn't fight it one bit.

At night was when I appreciated this the most though. When I'd wake up shaking in a cold sweat from some horrible brimstone and snake themed nightmare and he'd already be holding me tight, whispering sleep-laced consolations into my hair. "It's okay, baby. Just a bad dream. I've got you. Remember where you are–safest fuckin' place in the world in my arms, sweetheart."

And he'd shower me in lazy kisses, rub my arms and along my spine, fingers twisting into my hair and scratching at my scalp. To be taken care of after a life of isolation was so jarring that I hardly knew how to handle it most of the time. I usually just melted into a blubbering blob of pure affection, but I wanted to return the gesture too!

I tried as much as Hidan would allow, of course. He was hellbent on being the caretaker–annoying–but sometimes if he fell asleep first I'd get to be big spoon, and I think he secretly liked that.

Despite all my gripes about the first full week of being back home, there was one notable highlight… for lack of a better word.

And the awkward conversation of the year award goes to PAIN.

He literally barged into my room after waiting about one second after one knock. Clutching a small paper bag, he approached me, hesitated for a brief moment, and blurted out this gem, "Do you desire pregnancy?"

Um, come again?

Naturally, I choked on air. "Sorry?!" I wheezed out, positive I misheard him.

He shifted uncomfortably and looked between me and the bag in his hand before clearing his throat and shoving it at me. "If you do not desire pregnancy, then take this medication daily."

"Wh..what?" I stared down at the bag and back at him, absolutely dumbfounded.

He gestured curtly to the crinkling bag grasped in my fingers. "There are instructions enclosed. From what I understand, you like to read, so do that and do not ask me any further questions on this matter." And then he was gone with a swift shut of my door, muttering under his breath about some sort of audacity Konan had to be busy now of all times.

After a moment of sheer processing and confusion, I shook the bag out to dump its contents onto my bed. There were just two items, a little clamshell style container with a ring of pills inside, and a small instructional booklet.

Birth control.

When Hidan came to see me later I sat him on my bed and relayed the bizarre story to him. After about five minutes of his wheezing laughter at the mere thought of Pain being so freaking awkward with me, he was beaming –going on and on about having wanted to come in me so bad for so long.

Flustered and red-faced by this shameless admission that I absolutely should have expected, I reminded him that it took a week of pills before it was safe.

"Perfect," he purred, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling me to slot between his legs. "Just in time for our date."

Of course he'd still been hell-bent on his self-imposed 'no nut' punishment, despite my assurances that he'd repented plenty and by all means, come already. That I liked it when he did. But no, he said he wanted to prove he was a man of his word. Plus, he claimed it would make it that much better when he finally could.

At that point all I could do was roll my eyes. When Hidan was decided, he was decided.

So now, with this, he was that much more hyped up about it and he couldn't keep his hands off me, pulling me onto lap to straddle him, hands wandering up my thighs and between them, fingers expertly and quickly rubbing me into breathlessness even through my pants.

My hands found his chest and shoulders to steady myself against him. It wasn't long before my pants were gone and his fingers–two of them–were pushed deep inside me.

His other arm wrapped around my waist, clutching at my softness to guide my hips in rhythm with him. Bringing his mouth to my ear, he planted a kiss on the shell of it, lingering there to murmur, "Want you to ride my fingers, sweetheart. Can you do that for me? Until you come, baby girl?"

With a hitching breath I nodded with a quiet yes and he hummed in approval, moving to press a kiss to my forehead as he picked up the pace.

When he pulled back enough to get a look at me he just stared, adoring and pupil-blown as he whispered sweet little encouragements to me. "Fucking beautiful… there you go, baby–just like that. Riding me so good… God, I can't wait until you're on my cock."

With a swallow and many, many nods, I whispered out his name. He tipped his chin up at the sound of it, mouth falling open with a heavy breath as regarded me intensely from beneath his thick silvery lashes and heavily hooded lids.

"Oh, sweetheart," he groaned, speaking soft and low, not daring to break eye contact, "you've got no fuckin' idea how bad I've wanted to fill you up… feel your tight little pussy milk me dry… fuck–I'm gonna be thinkin' about it non-stop until our date."

"I–Is it soon?"

"Hm, kinda. Why, you gettin' impatient?" he asked with a playful edge, jolting into me with a little more fervor.

"Yes," I admitted breathlessly, "V-Very. I… Hidan, I miss you."

He cocked his head and pursed his lips, nudging his thumb against my clit which had me pitching forward with a whimpering cry. "Am I not taking good care of you, sweetheart?"

I shook my head vehemently because of course that wasn't it. Such an ass. He knew he took care of me very very well.

He'd ask all the time, come up from behind when we got a moment alone. Kiss my neck. Nose the hair away. And when I'd melt back into him, he'd murmur things like, "Mm, anything I can help you with, baby girl?" and if the answer hadn't been yes before, it usually was after.

He was excessively diligent about tending to my needs–I just wished it wasn't at the expense of his own.

So here and now as I desperately bucked my hips against the pounding of Hidan's thick, capable fingers, my body wilted so badly that I had to wrap my arms around his shoulders and crush my face into his shoulder with a whine.

"Oh, is that it right there? Did I find your sweet spot?" he murmured, gripping harder at my waist to help me rock along as my body went taut, losing all semblance of coordination. "Shh it's okay, I got you. Ride it out my sweet girl," he whispered into my hair, holding a kiss to the top of my head as I did just as he asked, moaning long and low against him until I went entirely limp in his grip.

"I… Hidan…" I breathed, "that's three times today… I know I said this last time, but I really don't think I have another in me…"

He laughed, pulling his fingers from me and wiping them on his leg before splaying that hand across my back to support me in these trying, horny times. "Don't say things like that if you don't want me to take them as a challenge."

"It's not a challenge, it's just a fact," I argued weakly, trying to catch my breath.

"Mm… maybe I'm just trying to set you up real good," he said, some of his playful tone tapering off. Pulling back to look at me, he attempted to fix whatever my sweat-drenched hair was doing. "I uh, I just got approval to go on a job, sweetheart. Just a little one, though. I should only be gone a few days."

"A job? I asked, brows knitting with concern. "I can't come with you?"

"I'm sorry, baby," he apologized with a tilt of his head. "It's too dangerous."

"Well… when are you leaving? Will Kakuzu be taking Lucky with you guys?" My mind was already reeling from the thought of having him not at my side.

"Not until tomorrow. And Kakuzu is staying here. It's gonna be me and Deidara this time."

Okay, that's weird.

"Deidara? Why… why Deidara?" That was so not normal–the switching of partners–and based on how those two had been commiserating non-stop, I knew it had everything to do with this Plan B. "This has something to do with me, doesn't it? Because I really don't want anything, Hidan. I swear. I'd much rather have you here with m–" I could hear my voice starting to take on a frantic edge and clearly Hidan could too because it bowed his brows and made him cup my face in his huge palms.

"Hey hey hey hey, calm down, baby. Tell me what's got you so worried. I know Dei looks like a sentient twig in a blonde wig, but he's actually pretty strong. You know I'll be fine, right?"

I nodded, biting my lip to keep from making some pathetic face. "I know you're both strong. It's not that, I… It's just… at night… with me and my issues…I just–I'm going to miss you."

"Oh…" Hidan let out a scraping exhale, eyes closing with a wince as he pulled me against him. "Shit. I know," he murmured, squeezing tight, "I know, but you'll be okay. Lucky will stay with you at night, alright? And if anything happens–it won't–but you know, hypothetically or whatever, Kakuzu will be just down the hall, okay? I'm so sorry, baby, I don't want to leave you. We'll be really quick, I promise. If it makes you feel any better, this isn't just for my own stupid plan, it's actual Akatsuki business too."

"Where are you guys even going?" I asked, just trying to focus on the facts and not the swell of dread building in my gut.

"Suna. We should be in and out. Nothing to worry about. A stealth job."

"Stealth?" I balked.

"That's right. It's when you're really quiet and–"

"I know what it is, Hidan," I blustered. "I'm having trouble seeing you and Deidara doing it."

This split a grin across his face and he let out a puffing laugh. "You don't think I can be stealthy? Shit, I snuck my way into here, didn't I?" he teased, gently rubbing at my chest and patting over my heart..

"That doesn't count," I decided quickly, fighting a smile because ten seconds ago I felt like I could have cried and it wasn't fair that he could give me this kind of emotional whiplash. "I was ill-prepared. My security systems were insufficient. Practically non-existent, Hidan."

"Pffft, nah, I infiltrated the shit out of them, baby girl" he said, kissing me through his smile. "Just like I'm gonna do to Suna. So relax. We've got another day until I go. We'll get you good and set up before then."

"Promise?" I asked pathetically, smoothing over his chest with a sigh.

"Promise. Now put some pants on," he said, clapping his hands against my ass. "Still got your normal boring physical therapy to do."

An Aside: Kisame and Itachi

"You've haven't hit me once, Kisame," Itachi noted, not without concern, dodging a long-armed swipe that went wide. "It seems you're the distracted one today."

With a narrow glare and a growling huff full of effort, Kisame grabbed Itachi by the shoulders and drove a knee into his abdomen. "Hah!" he gruffed, victorious for only a moment before a splintered log dropped to the ground in a puff of smoke.

"I'm certain that log never did anything to you," Itachi said calmly from behind. Kisame deadpanned, turning to see Itachi casually leaning against a tree, examining his nails.

"That log killed my parents," Kisame said matter-of-factly.

"I see," Itachi mused, hardly able to swallow down his amusement at his partner's interesting lie. "Now that you have your revenge, perhaps you can focus?"

"You complaining about not getting hit enough, Uchiha? 'Cause I can get Hidan out here, don't think I won't."

"You joke, but he's landed more strikes on me than you've managed to between this spar and the last."

Kisame grimaced, his shoulders slumping as he sulked over to the tree beside Itachi and slid down it to sit. "Yeah. I know," he sighed, and this level of angst coming from Kisame of all people was just so wrong .

"Perhaps you'd like to…erm," Itachi paused to clear his throat, "talk about it?"

"Sure, why not?" Kisame bit out a laugh, muttering to himself, "I can't even believe I'm doing this right now."

"Doing what?" Itachi asked like he didn't very well know.

"Coming to you with this shit."

" This shit ." The bland repetition begged clarification.

Kisame pursed his lips and squinted at his partner. "Quit acting like you don't already know, Uchiha."

"Hm… I might. Does it have to do with Izumi?" he asked, deciding to sit as well, settling his back against that same tree beside his partner and pulling out a bento box containing dango.

"Maybe."

"Perhaps regarding her recent standoffishness? Toward you in particular?"

" Maybe …"

"Hm…" Itachi hummed like he was digesting new information and not week old leftovers.

"Does this please you, Itachi?" Kisame asked, glancing over at his partner with a loll of his head. "That for once I'm the one coming to you in need of Izumi advice?"

Itachi looked up from his food to meet that scathing look with one of blank innocence and a shrug. "And why would this please me, Kisame?"

Kisame snorted. "I'll take that as a yes."

"I'll admit," Itachi said, a light smile creeping onto his face with a small sigh of relief, "it's nice to be on this side of things for once."

"Yeah? Enjoying it, are you?"

"Immensely."

"You're a real shit, you know that?"

"You remind me often," Itachi said, pulling a pink piece of dango off the skewer. "Something most wouldn't do. I admire that about you."

"What can I say?" Kisame gruffed, rolling his shoulder like it was all in a day's work. "It's a rough job, but hey, someone's gotta do it."

Itachi nodded politely and finished chewing before looking to his partner with a subtle fondness. "And for that, Kisame, I am eternally grateful."

"Ugh, your gloating is so annoyingly self-deprecating, Uchiha."

"Sounds appropriate for a ' real shit' ."

Kisame sighed, shoulders slumping. "Yeah, you got me there... Hey, how's the dango?"

"Mm."

"And you gave some to Izumi? Girl is looking peckish."

"I know she does," Itachi sighed, brows knitting ever so slightly at the thought. "I tried to give her all of it, but she insisted I keep some. She liked it very much though."

"That's good, that's good… good that she liked it," Kisame said absently, staring at the ground as he began destroying a fingernail with those gnawing teeth of his.

Itachi reached over, placing a light hand on Kisame's wrist to gently guide it back down. "No need to pick up my bad habit. You're worried about Izumi, I know."

Kisame huffed, rubbing at his neck as he cracked it this way and that. "I mean yeah, you know how she's been with me. She's usually like…my little buddy. My little bean. I'm just wondering if I should get her something too, y'know?"

"Like?"

"Like something to show I'm sorry?" Kisame questioned helplessly, throwing his hands up in the air in some exasperated shrug. "I don't know, it just feels so shitty to have her upset with me. I don't know how you live like this, man."

Itachi could do nothing but offer a sympathetic look for his partner. He knew all too well just how shitty it could feel to have her look at you like you were destruction incarnate.

Kisame sighed. "So what should I get her? Any ideas?"

"You realize who you're asking for advice from, right? Besides Orochimaru, I've probably hurt her the most in this world. Maybe you should ask Hidan, he seems to 'get' her."

Kisame scrunched up his face. "The guy whose skull I bashed in last week? Yeah, no thanks."

"Knowing him, he's probably already forgotten about it."

Kisame snorted. "Maybe… Man, I feel like I barely got to see her before I fucked it all up… pushed her to the ground? Why the fuck did I do that? Especially with the state she's been in… What the hell was I thinking?!"

Itachi hummed with an edge of agreement. "I suspect you weren't."

"And how are you not pissed at me?!"

Itachi shot him a quick, sharp look. "Who says I'm not?"

With a pause and a squint, Kisame clicked his tongue. "Touche…"

"I'm not the one to worry about though," Itachi added, returning his attention to a small patch of moss by his feet..

"I know, I know… I just don't want her to be mad at me anymore, y'know? This sucks."

"Surely you realize she's not mad , Kisame."

Kisame reared his head back with an incredulous shake of it. "Of course she is, she'll barely talk to me."

"Not because she's mad."

"What then?"

"Because she's scared ."

" What ?" Kisame balked at Itachi, his face dropping as he pulled his fingers down it, stretching out the bottoms of his eyelids with a groan. " Fuuuck , that's worse. That's so much worse. I'd rather her be mad!"

"She'll come around, Kisame," Itachi assured. "Just try not to toss her around or abuse her boyfriend anymore."

"Itachi fucking Uchiha," Kisame said in some sharply annunciated, scolding tone. Itachi met him with a questioning raise of his brows. "I cannot believe you're deciding to be funny during my suffering. Here I am, coming to you in my hour of need and this is what you give me?"

Itachi offered nothing more than a quiet smile.

"I wanna be mad at you, I really do," Kisame sighed, shaking his head and clicking his tongue. "But shit, that is some spectacular advice even if it makes me want to hit you."

"Please don't."

"Alright fine, but only because I don't need Izumi thinking I'm a psycho."

"From what I understand, that's her type."

"The fucking jokes today, Itachi!" Kisame laughed. "What has gotten into you?"

He shrugged, holding out the now naked skewer, devoid of delicious dango.

"Ah shit, I forget dango makes you cheeky... Okay but this is actually perfect. Help me come up with things that make me seem friendlier to Izumi. What do approachable people even look like?"

This was stupid, Itachi thought, but as nice as it was to not be the person causing Izumi distress for once, he would humor Kisame. "Well, you're rather large and imposing."

"Easy fix. I can just stoop to not be so tall."

A stupid idea. "And what about your physique?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your muscles, Kisame."

"What about them?"

"They are large."

" Yeah, they are." He grinned.

Itachi deadpanned. "You just wanted to make me say that." He was beginning to regret humoring him after all.

"That's beside the point, stay focused Itachi. My God, and they call you a genius."

Definite regret.

Kisame quickly wheeled them back on track. "Anyway, you had a point, I'll wear something to cover up my giant beefy bod."

"I'm going to ask you to refrain from ever saying that again."

"What? 'You had a point'? No problem, stricken from my vocab–you'll never have a point again. Anyway, back to my giant beefy bod. What could I wear?"

"I… I don't know, Kisame. I don't think there is anything that can cover it, now please stop making me talk about your massive body."

"Tch… some genius…" Kisame muttered.

Sometimes he could be so dramatic. "Maybe just try talking to her, Kisame."

He shook his head. "That's bad advice."

Itachi raised a questioning brow.

"Yeah, that's the same advice I gave Izumi about you, and look what that got her."

Itachi just stared for a moment, fighting to still the twitch of his eye. He let out a long sigh and decided aloud, "I don't like you."

Kisame's face split into a grin. "Is it because you love me?"

"No." Itachi stood and began walking away.

"Where do you think you're going, Uchiha?" Kisame questioned, amusement thick in his voice.

"I'm leaving."

"What?!" Kisame called out with a chuckle. "We just got started, when're you coming back?"

Itachi answered without so much as a glance, "I'm not. Goodbye."

"Goodbye forever ?!"

"Yes."

Kisame burst out laughing before whipping a kunai at Itachi's back. At the last moment, Itachi seemingly flickered from existence, deftly dodging and snatching it out of the air.

He held it up, looking from it to Kisame like a parent questioning their child as to why they'd been running with scissors. "Is this supposed to entice me to continue sparring, Kisame?"

Kisame smirked. "It's supposed to, yeah. You want me to throw it harder or something?"

Itachi smiled lightly with a little gust of a laugh puffing from his nose. "Yes. Fine," he said, throwing the kunai back. "But I still don't like you."

Notes:

Hidan and Dei adventure! *Smashes fists on table* Look I just love them being gremlins together, let me do this, okay?

Any guesses as to what they're up to tho? _

As always, thanks for reading, Oh Honey Fam 3 you guys are seriously awesome and always so supportive, thank you for being patient with me :3 I just got through KakuHida week so I'm back on track with fewer projects at once lol.

OH, one last thing! Some nerdy friends of mine just created a new Naruto Fanfiction discord server (18+), so if you'd like to join us in all of our unchecked nerdiness, don't be shy, come say hi! (Here's the invite link -) /XweGzJ5H5U

Chapter 56: Training Day

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Plan B as in behave please," I pleaded as I looked on, teeth worrying at my lip. It was morning and Hidan and Deidara were all packed up for their trip, doing one last run through of their stuff before they took off.

"Plan B as in BIG BOOM!" Deidara countered with a shout, way too excited for his own good.

"No!" I barked, finger pin straight and poised to boop snoots if it really came down to it. "No boom! Why does there always have to be boom with you two?!"

"To be fair, it's really only boom with me. With Hidan it's more like–" he trailed off and Hidan took the opportunity to interject.

"– Bang." Naturally this was said with a wink and not-so-subtle air hump in my direction.

Nice.

Yeah. Nice and mortifying. I was just glad no one else was around… Deidara snickering wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. If Kakuzu had been there, he probably would have pulled Hidan's tongue through his butt or something.

Bold of you to assume he'd want to get anywhere hear his butt.

Okay, fair, maybe just threatened it.

With a stern brow raise, I marched up to Hidan with my finger out. "No bang," I chastised, bopping his nose. He tried to catch my finger in his mouth but, hah , as if I didn't see that coming? Deftly avoiding a surprise finger sucking, I then turned to Deidara. "And no boom."

"Oh my God Iz, you're such a party pooper," he whined, tossing his arms up like a child denied their plaything.

"Yes, yes I am!" I agreed enthusiastically. "I will happily poop on literally any explosion party. I will cover it until it fizzles into a stinky pile of nothingness. I am very okay with this designation, Deidara."

Deidara poked at the inside of his cheek with his tongue, looking amused as ever. "You're kinda nasty, you know that, right?"

"Heh, yeah she is," Hidan agreed, which earned him a look.

"Yes, fine. I'm a nasty little party pooper. I don't care, as long you as you agree to no boom. "

"Alright, let's compromise," Deidara proposed, folding his arms over his chest. "How about only a medium amount of boom?"

"No boom, I said! None! As in zero! As in an amount that is so small you can't even see it because it doesn't exist!" I half laughed, half yelled with a stomp of my heel.

Deidara chuckled and put his hands up in mock surrender, even the mouths on them smirking. "Whoa, watch that foot there, killer. Gonna split open the whole complex if you're not careful, yeah?"

"Wh–I–I am not!"

"Alright, but hear me out," Hidan chimed in, smiling like he was about to suggest something stupid. With his hands casually stuffed into his pockets he sauntered up behind Deidara to rest his chin on his shoulder. "What about… a little boom? Just, like… tiny boom?"

Deidara grinned at the sudden two versus one dynamic, which had me crossing my arms, blowing the bangs out of my eyes with a frustrated huff, and leveling the most obstinate look I could manage at them.

"Just a sprinkling of boom?" Deidara asked, blinking down at me with big blue eyes and bringing his hand up in a small pinching gesture. "Little, tiny, baby boom?"

These two were incorrigible apart. There wasn't a strong enough word to describe them together. I sighed, exasperated, because despite this, they were cute and I hated them for that. "No. Boom. I'm not budging on this, guys."

"Well fuck, we tried," Hidan laughed, straightening up with a playful grin.

"Pfft, that's pretty funny coming from earth-splitter Izumi," Deidara argued, leaning in with his hands firmly planted on his hips. "You want me to do that instead? Just tear open some casual hell chasms everywhere I walk?"

"Wha–no! And stop calling me that!" I cried, laughing and smacking his chest.

"Okay, alright," Hidan chuckled, stepping over and pulling me into a hug, rocking me back and forth with his forearms crushing my face between his pecs. "No boom, no hell chasms. We promise ."

"Just come home safe, please," I pleaded, muffled against tits of pure muscle and taking a deep breath once I finally managed to pull away. "And that goes for both of you." Shooting Deidara a pointed look, he just smirked and rolled his eyes in response like maybe he'd think about it.

Drawing my brows down low and tight, I pursed my lips to show I meant serious business.

Hidan slapped Deidara's chest with the back of his hand and Deidara sighed his resignation. " Fine . No boom and stuff. Come home safe. Yadda yadda. But only because you asked, Iz. I wouldn't do this shit for anyone else, yeah?"

"Well, I'm honored," I said, wrapping around him for a goodbye hug. "Look out for each other, okay?"

"Sure," he laughed, pulling me tight. "You know, this is kinda weird. I don't think anyone's ever hugged me goodbye for a mission before."

"That's terrible, Dei." I muffled against him with a frown, squeezing him harder, fingers clutching at his cloak. "I'm making up for all the ones you should have gotten then."

"Thanks, Iz," he murmured with a chuckle, tucking my head beneath his chin and squeezing my shoulders.

Hidan cleared his throat rather obnoxiously when he deemed the hug long enough. "Should I come back in ten, or what?"

Rolling my eyes and scoffing, I peeled myself from Deidara. "You'll get one too–not to mention you just got one. Where's your patience, mister?"

"It's in Suna," Hidan deadpanned, "Now hurry up and get over here so I can hug the shit out of you and go get it."

All I could do was shake my head with a snort and stare up at him, wondering how the heck I was supposed to survive the next few days without him.

"C'mere." He grinned, arms out in waiting for me to fit in them. "I'm gonna be pissed if this shit doesn't last as long as Deidara's did."

Falling into Hidan's arms was as natural as breathing. They swept me up and cradled me against him with the strangest balance of force and fondness.

Naturally, with Dei there, it became a combination display of establishing his alpha male dominance over me while still making sure to shower me with overwhelming genuine affection.

After a very lengthy hug, one wrought with many, many whispered affections into my hair–M'gonna miss you so much, love of my fuckin life, be good, sweetheart–he took my face into his hands and kissed me so long and so deep that my entire face flared hot because I could feel Deidara watching us.

Just standing there. Audience to us mackin' it hard. I could see him in my periphery not even pretending to busy himself like a normal, polite person would do.

Yes, because the Akatsuki is full of normal, polite people.

Still, I endured his unabashed analysis because Hidan was leaving and I would take all of him I could get.

"Love you, sweetheart," he murmured one last time as he finally pulled away, hands still cupping my cheeks as he looked down at me with a big sigh.

I told him I loved him back, my little hands grabbing onto his wrists like that might make him stay, but no, he just gave me a longing look and another kiss to my forehead.

"Oh shit!" Suddenly he was yelling and I was chopped liver as he tore away from me to rip his pack open. "Almost fucking forgot…" he grunted, yanking out this huge, wadded up thing. "Put your arms out, baby!"

Wide-eyed and dumbfounded I complied, doing my best impersonation of the letter 'T' without question.

Simp.

"I know you were sad that I don't have shirts for you to steal or whatever," he said, shaking the thing out which I now recognized as a big leather jacket with a massive fur lined hood. "It's not exactly a shirt, but hey, it's somethin', right?"

I felt like a doll getting stuffed into clothes made for a giant as Hidan pulled the jacket over my arms, scrunching up the sleeves as best as he could so at least my fingertips poked out.

It was stupidly cozy.

Baffled into speechlessness, I watched him kneel in front of me and pull the zipper up to my neck. It probably looked like I was being devoured by the thing.

'Devoured By A Parka', hey, that's a cool band name.

"Well?" He questioned, grinning wide as he pulled the hood over my head so I could barely see. "What do you think, sweetheart?"

"This is yours?" I beamed, hugging myself and tipping my head back just to see him from behind the fluff.

"It was," he shrugged, pushing the hood back off with a snort and smoothing down my hair. "It's yours now."

"Pffft," Deidara laughed. "You're giving her a fucking parka in the middle of summer?"

"Hey, in case you forgot, we live in a fucking cave. It still gets cold, assfac–"

"I love it," I cut off their bickering with a wavering, watery-eyed whisper, clutching at the soft, worn leather. "I love it so much, thank you, Hidan."

"Aw shit," Hidan's face dropped. He fell to his knee again with thumbs instantly wiping at my cheeks. "No no no, I didn't mean to make you cry, baby girl. What's wrong?" His brows pulled tight together, eyes frantic in searching my face.

"They're just happy tears," I laughed with a sniffle, throwing myself at him and burying my face into his neck.

"Happy tears?" I heard him mumble, arms immediately falling around me. "The fuck is that?"

Deidara sounded just as confused. "Never heard of it, yeah?"

Pulling back and rubbing my eyes I couldn't help but laugh, despite how very sad that was. "It's a good thing, I promise. Thank you, Hidan." And I kissed him hard to make him believe it, fingertips dragging along his jaw to keep him there.

"If you say so…" Hidan mumbled into the kiss, hands sneaking up beneath the jacket to grab me by the hips. His thumbs found their way under my shirt, too, and onto the knobs of my hip bones where he gently rubbed circles over them.

That was how I knew he was evil because he knew what this did to me…

My fingertips sunk into Hidan's shoulders as my knees grew weak and it pulled an accidental, wanting mewl from me and–

Oh my God you saucy little nugget, Deidara is RIGHT THERE.

I broke off quickly with a heady gasp and a muttered apology, cheeks burning as I stumbled back from Hidan.

"For what?" Hidan asked with a sly, knowing smile.

"I wasn't apologizing to you," I mumbled.

"Hm?" Deidara hummed, staring at me with some distant look, like he was just coming back to reality from wherever his thoughts were. "Oh, uh. You're fine, yeah? I didn't notice," he assured quickly, his own cheeks dusting pink as he suddenly found the floor of great interest.

Hidan bit his lip with a smile, something predatory about it. "What didn't you notice, Dei?"

"What? Nothing. I don't know. Quit being weird, yeah!"

"Oh I'm being weird?" Hidan cackled, throwing an arm around Deidara's shoulders to tug him close. He patted Dei's cheek playfully. "Why's your face so red there, Dei Dei? We're not having indecent thoughts are we?"

"Hidan, you're stalling," I cut in quickly, knowing Hidan was capable of crossing many lines when unrestrained. If Deidara drifted off into some fantasy land because of my brief, accidental softcore performance, we didn't need to dissect that.

Hidan rolled his eyes and let poor Deidara go. "Not my fault. You look so fucking cute in my coat, maybe I just wanna look at you some more. Can you blame me?"

"Hidan…" I reprimanded half-heartedly, unable to be too mad about that. "The sooner you guys leave, the sooner you come back."

"Mm, so smart, love this brain," he sighed, kissing me atop the head. "Don't miss me too much, okay?"

"I'll try," I promised, tacking on one more reminder, "Come home safe."

They agreed with a laugh like I was being ridiculous.

Have they met them?

"In one piece!" I called after them as a last minute thought.

"That's pushing it," Deidara shouted back, "you just can't keep adding conditions, Iz!"

I could hear them both laughing, and with that, they were gone. The cave entrance closed and I found myself staring at the wall.

Lucky, who had been curled up on the couch, jumped down and inspected the seam of the door, pawing at it with a gurgling whine and looking back at me confused.

"I'll miss them too, buddy," I comforted, plopping onto the couch and patting my lap. Lucky came flopping over and scuttled up my legs, spinning around a good three or four times before settling down on my thighs. Petting down his back, I sighed, "They'll be home soon. It'll be okay."

To which he responded by blowing a pathetic little stream of bubbles at me.

"Yes, I promise," I assured–needing to hear it myself–and he seemed to accept this, tucking his head in to hunker down for a nap.

Welp, guess we're sitting here now .

Yep, hadn't really thought that one through.

I'd been avoiding hanging out by myself in the common areas. With Hidan around it was fine. He was good for many things, and one of them seemed to be repelling Kisame in recent days, which worked out well for me.

So, wouldn't you know it, within an hour of his departure I found myself confronted by the big blue man himself.

"Hey, Iz." Kisame smiled in that careful way he'd been doing recently, not quite showing the points of his teeth, and I immediately felt my nerves prickle up at the edges.

I hated it. Hated feeling this way whenever I saw him because I didn't want to. I just wanted to have my friend back, but I… once again, was not in control of my body's reactions.

A running theme, at this point.

A week had passed since the incident, and I'd managed to dodge him well enough, thinking the problem would eventually sort itself out, as all good problems should. Evasion hadn't been particularly difficult to do with Hidan attached to my hip and all.

Spicy.

Not like that.

But sometimes like that…

… yes, okay, sometimes like that.

Anyway, it wasn't like Kisame and I hadn't seen each other at all . It was just always in a group setting, and I made sure there were plenty of people between us. It also wasn't like I was angry with him! I just felt… weird ?

He was like, my best friend? Well, to me anyway.

To him, I really wasn't sure what I was.

That didn't even matter, really, because he was someone I had trusted with every stupid fiber of my being, and then… and then that happened. And he was just so mean . Had he been that violent with anyone but Hidan, they would have been dead .

Seeing him like that… it was like the world turned on its edge and I still felt like I was dangling off it.

Now, it seemed, Kisame wanted to talk about it based on the awkward look he was giving me. Logically I knew this was actually a very good, healthy idea.

Illogically, I wondered if it'd really be that noticeable if I quietly phased into the floor never to be seen again.

"Hey," I replied, albeit a little delayed while anxiously thumbing across the smooth forehead of Lucky's mask.

"Feels like I haven't really talked to you in a while," Kisame said, rubbing the back of his neck with a forced air of casualness.

"Yeah," I agreed, my smile probably just as awkward as his. "Just been really busy with, um, a lot of stuff, y'know?"

"Yeah," he nodded with a swallow, "I know. Do you have a second to talk now?"

"I-um, well," I teetered off, looking around like maybe there would be a mess that needed cleaning up or something. Some excuse to take my attention away.

Why the heck was everything so spotless all of a sudden?

"She's busy." Kakuzu startled me when he appeared beside the couch.

"I am?" I asked slowly, looking up to him and quickly amending my answer upon seeing his stern expression. "Uh, I mean, I am! Of course I am!"

"You have training right now," Kakuzu said as if reminding me of well-established plans, and I was simply a forgetful ding-dong. This was untrue, or at least in this instance it was.

"Oh," Kisame said, his face dropping into something disappointed. Apparently my ding-dongness was believable enough. "Yeah. No problem, Iz. I'll uh, I'll just catch you later, maybe."

"O-Okay. Yeah. Later, maybe," I said, feeling my voice getting smaller because despite the squiggles in my stomach, there was something so sad about his countenance that made me want to break down crying and fling my arms around him.

But I didn't do any of that. I just shook my head and muttered a "sorry" and he told me not to worry about it before sulking away.

And then there were two.

Kakuzu's eyes were on me as sharp as razors. "Training," he said, grabbing my wrist to pull me off the couch and drag me along behind him. "Now."

"You mean physical therapy, right?" I asked, scrambling to keep up. Lucky had hopped down and was frantically waddling behind us.

"I meant what I said."

"I don't understand. What kind of training?"

"The kind you desperately need. I'm tired of you nearly getting yourself killed because you don't know how to control your abilities."

I frowned. "Okay, well in my defense, I've only done that once."

"Izumi…" Kakuzu halted abruptly, snapping to look down at me as I slammed into him. His deep-set eyes were heavily shadowed, a dangerous glint peeking through. Voice sinking into a growl, he enunciated each word, short and even. "Once. is. too. many. times."

"Okay," I conceded with a swallow. "F-Fair point."

"Hidan isn't here to distract you, so I'm going to capitalize on that. If you had plans over the next few days, cancel them."

"Yes, okay," I agreed quickly, stumbling over my feet in trying to keep up as he started moving again. "Thank you, Kakuzu."

With a glance down at me, perhaps he realized he'd been tugging me along a bit aggressively. That his grip was maybe a smidge too tight, because he let go.

"First lesson of your training," he said, stern and unwavering, "if I am pushing you too far, you need to tell me ."

Rubbing my wrist and holding it to my chest, I looked up at him with a reassuring smile. "Kakuzu… I know that teaching some dingus like me the basics isn't how you want to spend your time. I'm not trying to be whiny about this favor you're doing me. I'll try really hard to take whatever you throw at me, okay? You don't have to worry."

He stared for a moment and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If only Hidan had that attitude…Regardless, Izumi, you are not my usual clientele. I'm not used to someone so…"

"Weak?"

"In short–yes."

I smiled up at him. Had he been trying to find a less offensive way to convey that? Hah! Did he think I didn't know?

Sometimes he's really so cute.

"Okay, alright. I promise I'll tell you," I agreed. "And uh… I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but… I thought you guys weren't supposed to train me?"

"We're also supposed to keep you alive. The two orders are at odds. I'm making an executive decision."

"Ohh sounds fancy. You won't get in trouble for that, will you?"

He scoffed, looking amused by this and leading the way to the exit. "Sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission."

"You would ask someone for forgiveness?" My face scrunched up as I tried to imagine such a thing.

This question was apparently very funny to Kakuzu because I'd never heard him laugh so abruptly before answering, "No."

Once out in the middle of the training field, the prospect of Kakuzu teaching, analyzing and, worst of all, having expectations of me , became much more intimidating.

"Have you had any training?" Kakuzu asked, hands on his hips as he looked down at me like he was trying to figure out where to even begin.

"A little," I admitted, thinking back to my singular session with Itachi.

"What kind?"

The kind that involves nipples.

Oh dear lord I did not need to be thinking about that . When I floundered for an answer, red-faced and stumbling over my words, Kakuzu grew impatient.

"What did you learn?" He decided to ask instead, like it was the question I was tripping over and not the answer.

I learned that nipple stuff is very fun.

Stop. No. That was not my final answer.

"Waves," I blurted out the only coherent thought that surfaced. "I made them. In the water. With Itachi. It was normal stuff."

"Okay…" Kakuzu drawled with a suspicious squint before clearly deciding I was simply a weirdo and moved on. "So you know how and where to gather chakra then."

Oh! I knew this one! I pressed my hands to my belly. "My core."

"Yes. Good." He seemed relieved that I at least knew this much. "Alright, so you specialize in nature manipulation," he said, eyes focused and narrowly cut as he spoke. I nodded. "Meaning you need the element present to manipulate it. You cannot create it yourself."

"Yes," I agreed, presuming to know where he was going with this, "so we can only train on some of the elements. Can't imagine we'll get around to lightning, for instance."

"Lesson two," Kakuzu said, fingers working to unclasp his cloak along the center seam. "Do not be so presumptuous. Assume your enemy is always smarter and stronger than you." In a fluid motion he tossed his cloak off and hunched forward, palms planting over his knees. "Izumi, pay attention because I am only going to tell you this once ."

"O-Okay," I agreed, flabbergasted by whatever the heck was even happening.

"I am going to summon my other hearts."

"Sooo… more black noodle monsters?"

Kakuzu inhaled deeply, markedly disappointed by my choice in terminology. "Yes, more black noodle monsters…"

"Okay," I said, trying my absolute darndest to be very cool. Very normal about this. Definitely not overly excited to meet them. That would be very annoying of me.

"You are to treat them as nothing more than a training tool. Do not get distracted by them, do not pet them, and under no circumstances are you to cuddle or ride them, do I make myself clear?"

My eyes went wide, hands flying to cover my growing smile. " They're big enough to ride ?"

"Izumi..." he growled.

"I mean yes! Yes, crystal clear!"

He lurched and his back bulged with something undulating beneath the surface. It was gross, sure, to see his skin flay open, bursting at the seams with four creatures spilling out of him–but only for a second.

" Oh my God, " I whispered into the fingers still covering my mouth, bouncing on the balls of my feet.

Kakuzu straightened up, his skin sewing itself back together as he glanced at the four-beast unit beside him before looking to me. "I know they can be intimidating but–"

"They're so CUTE!" I squealed. I couldn't help it. It was completely his fault. He should have warned me about how adorable they'd be.

Kakuzu looked irritated with me for a brief moment, but it quickly shifted to aggravated helplessness. All four of his companions– huge versions of Lucky–went into full on hiney-wiggling stampede mode when they saw their little fish-hearted brother for the first time in a while.

Lucky let out some sort of gurgling shriek I'd never heard before and he was quickly engulfed by his big noodle siblings. They chirped and honked and made all kinds of weird, excited noises as they got tangled up in each other.

Cutest family reunion EVER.

Yes. I basically died. Death by cute. 10/10 would recommend.

Kakuzu, however, was immortal, therefore resistant to death of any kind, but he seemed especially immune to cuteness. "Enough!" he bellowed.

All his masks froze and looked at him with hollow, yet somehow guilty eyes. Lucky let out a blorp like he had indigestion and a little bubble came out of his mouth along with a few stray threads, which he sucked back in with a wet slurp .

"Untangle yourselves now," Kakuzu commanded. "And… Lucky ," he mumbled the name begrudgingly, "go over to Izumi. You'll be assisting with her training."

Lucky looked over at me with the same vibrating excitement of a chihuahua and the rest followed, turning their heads to finally notice me. It was like a dog seeing a shiny new chew toy for the first time.

Except the dog was made of ramen.

Except it wasn't one dog, by an adorably horrifying amalgamation of five dogs.

I was still the chew toy though.

That being said, they were now hurtling toward me in an enthusiastic but uncoordinated effort. Combined butts wiggling. Fused feet stamping. Rushing over to me before Kakuzu could do anything about it.

I let out a squealing laugh as they swept me up into their threads, assaulting me with nuzzles and what I could really only call miscellaneous affection .

It was all very weird and I loved it a lot.

"Oh my goodness, it's nice to meet you all too!" I yell-laughed over all their crazy noises, trying desperately to pet them in a fair rotation while becoming increasingly entwined. My feet weren't even touching the ground at that point. I was simply held aloft by the sentient squiggle pile.

A high-pitched whistle cut across the training grounds. "Get off her this instant!" Kakuzu's booming voice followed, and it took him yelling this and forcibly yanking a couple of them apart to peel them away from me completely.

Practically dying from my uncontrollable giggle fit, I assured Kakuzu it was okay–and I was okay–but he didn't share the amusement for their antics.

"What did I just go over, Izumi?" he yelled, yanking me to my feet.

"But they came to me, what was I supposed to do?" I asked, brushing some loose threads off my new Hidan jacket.

"Try not screaming your useless affections at them!" he spat, voice raised enough for make me wince.

"Okay… sorry," I mumbled, feeling really small all of a sudden. "I just thought maybe we could meet first and then get into it–"

"I don't want you to think, Izumi. I want you to listen!" he blared, nostrils flaring, evident even through his mask. "If you did less of this so-called thinking, you wouldn't find yourself in the predicaments you do."

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I was used to him being cranky, but I wasn't expecting this. For him to just hang all the bad stuff that ever happened to me on my ineptitude. "Okay…" I eventually whispered, staring at the ground and wringing my fingers out. "Sorry. I'll be… better."

Hazarding a glance up to Kakuzu, he was letting out a frustrated sigh and rubbing his face, muttering my name with exasperation.

"I had just never seen them, and…" I explained quietly, feeling my face going sour. "A-And I just… I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

While Lucky sat at my feet gently headbutting my shin as if to tell me it was okay, the rest of the masks all stood by quietly, shoulders slumped as they looked between Kakuzu and me.

"What ?" he barked at them, fingertips rubbing circles into his temples.

One of them–the only one on all fours–with dark blue markings and makeshift wings, let out a high pitched whine and lowered its head. It inched a foot in my direction, looking back at Kakuzu with a tilt of its head.

"You really want to go see her, Fuu?" he muttered, pulling his hands down his face with a heavy breath. "Fine. Go."

The creature immediately zipped over, bumping into me with a low, warbling noise–nearly, but not quite knocking me over. It rubbed along me like a cat might do to someone's legs, all the while making its sad little cooing.

What was this? A test? A seriously crappy one? I certainly didn't want to get yelled at again… but how was I supposed to resist this 'Fuu' and my beloved Lucky? Did Kakuzu not understand how cute they were? That this was my ultimate weakness?

"I'm sorry," I murmured, voice cracking as I tried to avert my gaze and pull my hands to my chest. "I'm not allowed."

"Izumi, just…" Kakuzu fizzed out with frustration and gave me a dismissive wave of his hand.

"But you said–"

"I know what I said!" he shouted, making me go stiff. My shoulders raised up, neck shrinking into them as I clutched at the fur hood of my jacket. "And now I'm saying to just pet the goddamn thing!"

"O-okay," I wavered, reaching out and mechanically patting it. "Like this? Am I doing it… h-how you want?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kakuzu spat, rearing his head back. "Why are you acting like a wounded child? Isn't it about time you grew some thicker skin?"

Because you're yelling at me. Because you're being way meaner than usual. Because Hidan is gone. Because I'm worried about him. Because I'm sad about Kisame stuff. Because you said my affections were useless. Because those are all I have to give. Take your pick, Kakuzu.

Yeah, I wasn't going to say all that, he'd just scoff and tell me to suck it up.

I shook my head vehemently which also had the unfortunate effect of shaking any tears loose. "I'm fine," I choked.

"Stop crying, Izumi." It was a firm directive, one given with a narrowing glare. Looking down to his hands, I noted the clench of them into fists and my stomach turned at the thought of making him this mad without even trying.

"That's it," Kakuzu said with finality. "We're done here, this was a foolish idea."

"Wh-wait what?" I eked, breaking from Lucky and Fuu to rush up to him.

"You heard me. We're done." He pointed to the cave entrance. "Go inside."

"But… no. No, I can do this! I'm sorry, I promise!" I pleaded, wiping my tears feverishly. "See? See, I'm g-good to go. Please, I can focus, I can do whatev–."

He shook his head. "Look at you. We haven't even started and you're already a mess."

"I'm not!" My voice cracked, breaking off on a sob which was quite the opposite of what I wanted. I immediately set to burying my face in my hands because it was all I could do to disappear at the moment.

"Is everything okay over here?" A voice came from the wooded edge of the surrounding forest–Itachi's voice, to be specific. He didn't don his cloak, just his casual training clothes and a thin sheen of sweat like he'd been busy with his own exercises.

Kakuzu practically seethed irritation at the sound of his questioning. Without bothering to even look at Itachi, he answered curtly, "fine."

Itachi looked from Kakuzu to me and raised a brow, as if seeking confirmation, as all other signs pointed to not fine–not fine at all, thanks.

I straightened out and wiped at my nose with the back of my wrist, nodding my agreement with a tiny, "fine," desperately trying to earn back points with Kakuzu.

Itachi's mouth drew into a stern line and his sharingan painted a sheen of scarlet over his usual onyx. "Fine…" he repeated slowly with an audible skepticism as he surveyed us.

Kakuzu folded his arms, trying to build up a physical wall between them. "That's what we said."

Itachi nodded, pushing his lip out slightly. "Just out here," he looked around, "training then?"

"We were going to…" I said, cringing at the weak crack of my voice.

"I see…" Itachi let his gaze fall on me, eyes like crosshairs honed on their target. "But.. not anymore, I take it?"

With a shake of my head, I bit my lip, eyes downcast. "I ruined it already… with my useless affections …"

Itachi's brows pinched and he sharply shifted his attention to Kakuzu who was now scowling and looking off at nothing in particular. "Useless affections," Itachi repeated, deadpan. "Is that really what you said to her?"

"It sounds worse when she says it," he grumbled.

"Somehow, I doubt that…" Itachi muttered under his breath. "Were you trying to upset her?"

Kakuzu snapped his glare to meet Itachi's, pushing into his space with a looming step. "Why, come to offer me some tips?"

"Hm," Itachi quietly acknowledged, an unspoken and begrudging touché lingering on his tone. "You seem to be doing well enough on your own," he noted, glancing down at me and bringing the knuckle of his index finger to my cheek. Tracing a tear track from the corner of my mouth up to my eye, he lingered only briefly before swiping it aside.

"Don't test me, Uchiha," Kakuzu warned. "Unlike my partner, I don't stop after one hit."

But Itachi didn't seem to pay Kakuzu any mind, now giving my other cheek the same treatment, this time with the pad of his thumb. His other fingers curled beneath my chin to tip my head up, and I felt too dumbfounded to do anything but just stare at him like some dumb animal.

"She does need more…" he murmured to himself, as if a single thought surfaced out of many others left unsaid.

"Sorry?" I asked.

He blinked, broken from a trance, dropping his hand to his side and looking to Kakuzu again. "Perhaps I can offer some other form of assistance."

Kakuzu's response was a stern glare and that was good enough for Itachi apparently.

"Since you've rescinded your offer to train Izumi, I can fill the vacancy. I agree, she does need further instruction."

Kakuzu's expressionless 'what' was almost drowned out by all of my disbelieving 'really?!'

"Yes, it's no trouble," Itachi assured with a light smile and a touch of his fingers to my forehead, pushing the bangs from my eyes.

"Oh my God, thank you ," I gushed, tension shedding away from my shoulders. "I've just felt so out of control. I was so excited when Kakuzu said he'd do it, but I don't want to bother him with, y'know… who I am as a person and everythi–"

"No," Kakuzu blurted.

Tipping my head back to get a look at him, I nearly retreated at the sight. The sheer outpouring of this cranky old man aura that enveloped him. Rolled off him in waves.

"Umm, Kakuzu?" I questioned with a timid touch of his tensely flexed arm. "Are you… okay?"

"I am training you," he said, eyes snapping onto me.

My mouth hung open in all of my flabbergastery–if it wasn't a word, it should have been. I looked from him to Itachi and back to him, an unsure noise leaking out from my throat. "I-I thought you sai–"

"Izumi," he said, though without all the same anger from before. It was low and even, the effort of remaining calm clear in his crisp annunciation. "I know… what I said..."

I swallowed, feeling pinned in place like an insect under the point of his gaze.

"I told you," he murmured, resting a heavy hand on my shoulder, "to stop crying. And you did. So now, we continue."

I must have still had a dumb look on my face because he angled his head toward me further. "Nod if you understand, Izumi."

And I nodded–albeit slowly–but I nodded. He reached down, two fingers flattening beneath my chin, and pulled my jaw shut so I'd quit gaping like a fish. "Good."

Looking over to Itachi I could see the slightest smile on his face, some triumphant twitch of his lips. "Mm, looks like my services won't be required after all," he sighed regrettably. "Too bad."

With a tilt of his head, Kakuzu gave him a half-squinted look of suspicion, catching onto his play. Itachi didn't shy away, but rather, he simply shrugged. "Another time, maybe."

"You can still stay," I offered a bit too hopefully, immediately regretting it.

Clingy much?

"But you don't have to!" I added in a rush.

Oh, so much better now. God, you're wicked cool.

I really hated me, sometimes.

That twitch of a smile made another appearance and Itachi looked to Kakuzu. "If you don't mind," he said. "I can sit off to the side. Spectate. Perhaps assist, if needed"

Kakuzu grunted in a way that seemed acceptable. "Just stay out of the way."

"Of course."

"Since you're here…" Kakuzu began.

Itachi raised a brow. "Hm?"

"Izumi tells me you've trained her before, but she was fairly useless in explaining the details."

Oh God. No. No, we don't need to bring this up.

"Training…" Itachi mused, brows coming together.

"Yes, something about making waves."

" Oh ", Itachi seemed to choke on a breath. "Yes, that training. Waves."

"I'm not looking to reinvent the wheel here," Kakuzu said, gesturing to me, "so if you found a training method that works well for her, I'd like to know about it."

Itachi clicked his tongue, opening his mouth to answer before finding himself stalled out.

"He probably doesn't remember much!" I chimed in quickly with a laugh, trying to help him out. "Such an insignificant little blip in his life all those months ago."

"I remember it well," Itachi corrected me quickly. "Izumi is an enthusiastic learner." He cleared his throat. "She does well with a… a hands-on approach."

Oh how DARE he be so clever and technically correct.

Kakuzu nodded. I died.

Okay not really, but it would have been nice, maybe. Less painful than this, at least. I was surprised the flesh of my cheeks hadn't charred and flaked right off from how hot they felt.

"We'll begin then," Kakuzu said, and I was thankful to move on from tip toeing around the fact that my first and only training session involved Itachi fondling my little boobahs as motivation.

Hands on approach …

I still couldn't get over it. The nerve of him.

It was also then that I realized in asking Itachi to watch my training, I had basically just requested for him to witness me suffer and flail about because what the hell was I even doing ?!

At least Kakuzu was more patient after that debacle though. After pulling Hidan's jacket off me so it didn't get ruined and I didn't die of heatstroke, he broke down and did thorough introductions of each masked noodle creature–allowing me to pet each one as we met and become properly acquainted.

Fuuton, or 'Fuu', was his wind mask, and she was such a sweetheart. This was the one with the dark blue markings, bow-legged and low to the ground so our faces were actually level with each other. She took the opportunity to affectionately bump her forehead against mine and I rewarded her with a generous heaping of scritches.

Suiton was water. Fun fact about him; upon request, he could basically turn himself into a giant sprinkler–not his intended purpose, according to an irritated Kakuzu, but whatever. That would surely come in more use over the summer

Katon could make fire and he was keen to show it off, blasting a fireball into the sky for me to ogle at. My excitement at the prospect of sticking him in an igloo and having a hot cocoa night in the winter put an amused look on Kakuzu's face at the very least.

"That's not happening," he said.

We'll see, I thought.

Raiton was saved for last because apparently she was the one we'd be using for training that day. She was the tallest, leaner than the rest, and with yellow markings streaking across her mask.

"Silly me," I muttered with a dithery laugh, "and here I was thinking I wouldn't be able to train on lightning stuff..."

Kakuzu snorted. "Yes. Starting now. We've wasted enough time on introductions."

Itachi sat on a thick tree branch with Hidan's jacket balled up as a cushion at his lower back, absently carving a bit of wood with his kunai as he oversaw our operation.

Lucky stood at my feet, instructed to keep me bubbled at all times. That part of the plan was fine–safe, secure, bubbly. All good things.

Then Raiton was directed to stand 20 meters back and launch a bolt of freaking lightning at me.

I repeat, a bolt of freaking lightning.

Itachi stopped whittling, red eyes fixated on Kakuzu as he explained the training format for me. Standing beside me, Kakuzu knelt down to match my eye level, one hand curled over my shoulder to pull me close, the other pointing ahead at Raiton.

"It will come from her mouth, straight at you," he said like it was nothing at all. "You'll see her charge up before launching it. Pay attention to her timing. The charge time. The speed of the bolt. All you need to do is target the energy, take control of it, and skew its trajectory away from you."

"Oh… oh, is that all?" I asked weakly, feeling my knees become jelly.

"Making a wave is pushing water away. This is no different. You're just pushing the lightning away. Got it?"

I nodded with a swallow. "Y-Yeah."

"Lucky's bubble will keep you safe, should you fail," he reminded, but not without tacking on a concerning, "probably."

It did hold up, by the way–Lucky's bubble. And thank God, because I needed it so many times.

Itachi came in useful too because at one point he went to fetch us drinks and snacks, so that was nice. Plus any time Kakuzu got a bit uppity or impatient with me, all Itachi needed to do was offer to take over, and voila–instant patience for Kakuzu.

All in all, I managed to make it through without getting electrocuted–so it was a good day. It was a long day.

"'M tired," I muttered against Kakuzu's shoulder, the sun setting beyond the distant mountain range. It was pretty, I thought, as Kakuzu piggybacked me back to base. "Did I do okay today?"

"Well," he said, clearing his throat, "by the end, you were able to divert a mid-powered charge."

"So… is that okay?" I repeated, clasping my fingers around his collar and letting out a yawn.

"Mm…" he grunted.

"You did very well, Izumi," Itachi chimed in, walking beside us. I cracked my eyes open and gave him a smile.

"You're just saying that."

"No," Kakuzu answered for him, making me smile against my back even more and squeeze around him tighter.

"What's the plan for tomorrow then?" I yawned.

"Izumi," Kakuzu said, "you're tired."

"I am."

"Just go to sleep then. I'll get you in bed. We talk about tomorrow tomorrow"

"Okay… goodnight Kakuzu…"

"..."

"Goodnight Itachi…" I added.

"Hm."

Tomorrow came and tomorrow went. With a strict regimen of having a rotation of lightning bolts and fireballs hucked at me constantly, the days went by quickly. The other nice thing was that, because I was so exhausted each night, I also slept like a… normal person? Which was great.

Lucky kept me cuddled and warm and it wasn't until the third night that I woke up at an odd hour. It was a pretty standard nightmare, nothing a cup of tea couldn't soothe. I assumed everyone would be asleep, so I was quiet in making my way to the kitchen and–

"Deidara?!" I gasped–nearly shouted–as I bumped into him turning the corner. "Oh my God you scared the beans out of me! What are you doing here!?"

He grinned, running a hand through his hair which was fully down for once. He looked tired but alive and well as requested. "C'mon Iz, you seriously have, like, no faith in us, do you?"

"You guys finished your mission? Like, you're home already?!"

"In one piece and everything," he said, putting his arms out to display his impressively not dismembered body. "Pat me down if you want."

I laughed out my relief like a crazy person, throwing myself into his arms and squeezing tight, feeling up along the ridges of his shoulder blades. "So did you guys just get back?!"

"Hm? Nah got back a few hours ago, just kinda wired still," he said, arms falling around me to return the hug. "Not that I'm upset by the enthusiastic welcome there, Iz, but what're you so surprised about anyway? Did Hidan not come see you?"

"You guys got back… a few hours ago?" I repeated, pulling away to look up at him. "I–no… I haven't seen him."

"Ah, you know what, don't worry about it,," he assured with a squeeze of my shoulders. "Now that I think about it, he was actin' a little weird. I think he was sick, yeah?"

"Sick?" My voice sounded hollow, mind only half there as it feverishly cycled through everything that could've been wrong.

"Yeah, just like a little headache or somethin'. Probably just didn't want you to get it is all."

I nodded as a pit settled in my stomach. "Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right..."

"Course I am," Dei said with a confident smile. "Now get some sleep, Iz. You'll see him in the morning. He's also in one piece, I promise." With a ruffle of my hair, Deidara was leaving and I was standing there, carefully considering my next move. Waiting to see Hidan until morning didn't feel like the one to make.

Notes:

Not me barely crossing the finish line to have an update ready for y'all on Christmas XD

I know it ends on a kinda tense note, but I hope you guys got some amusement out of this chapter. Ngl Itachi needing to subtly explain his previous 'training method' to Kakuzu in front of Izumi brought me joy to write Love to torture these guys

Merry Christmas y'all ❤ if you'd like to leave me the gift of a comment/kudos, I would be over the moon about it.

Another year down, stay healthy folks, and as always, thank you for reading 💕😘

Chapter 57: Losing Control

Notes:

CW: Themes of horror and physical abuse

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I wasn't going to do anything too crazy–not for my generous standards, anyway.

How cute, you think you have standards.

It made sense, what Deidara said. Hidan was notoriously bad at accepting my help. Waking me up in the middle of the night just so I'd have to take care of him?

Pft. Yeah, he would choose solitary suffering. He just always had to be big tough man, didn't he? Well I was having none of that. I wanted to see my boyfriend, gosh darnit.

So I soon found myself standing in front of his door, knocking softly and waiting in dead silence.

No answer.

He must not have heard it… I tried again, a little louder. "Hidan?" I called out in a whisper, my ear to the door.

Odd. I could actually hear him in there. It was muffled, but it sounded like he was talking? Maybe?

But to who?

Maybe he really was sleeping. And sleep talking! That was a thing people did, right? Just a normal, regular thing?

Izumi, this is one of those dangerous 'thoughts' Kakuzu warned you about.

To be fair, it seemed innocent enough. Plus Hidan didn't need to open his door for me to get in… I had my ways. I was quite sure he wouldn't mind if I quietly crawled into bed with him.

I approached the wall where I was fairly certain I'd be able to pass through without being rebuffed by furniture on the other side. Breathing deep, I focused my chakra and pressed my hands to the wall. Slipping through with all the ease of water through a strainer, I briefly wondered how that had ever been difficult.

I'd have marveled at my improvement more if not for the sudden shift in the air. Stale and cold. It caught in my throat, snapped me from my thoughts. Forced me to take in my surroundings in the dim glow of the lantern light upon his nightstand.

This feels wrong.

It really did. I found myself standing beside Hidan's bed, motionless as I stared down at him atop it.

He wasn't under the blankets. He was just lying there. Rigid. One hand clasped tightly over the symbol of Jashin around his neck.

Odd, yes, but that was not the most disturbing part.

His eyes were peeled wide. Hyper-focused on the ceiling. Lips moving at a frantic pace. Muttering feverishly in that haunting language through a gritted jaw.

Something primal stirred in me–some fear I could practically taste. Acid on the back of my tongue.

The urge to flee rattled in my bones. Welled up in my stomach and shook me to move. But I stood my ground. Watched him with a hard swallow.

There was a sheen of sweat covering his entire body. His hand lying at his side spasmed with a violent tremor, the other still white knuckled and gripping his necklace.

My heart all but plummeted through the floor at the sight of him like that.

Sick ? A little headache or something? Was Deidara really that imperceptive, or had Hidan barely been holding it together in front of him, only to devolve into this… this state … as soon as he got home?

Hidan didn't even seem to notice me there. His eyes were wide but unfocused, staring stalwart at the ceiling unblinkingly.

Even his voice in all of his muttering seemed off. Different somehow. Some unnerving layer to it I didn't want to pull back.

"Hi… Hidan?" I eked out hesitantly, barely a whisper. I had precisely zero idea how to help him like this, I just knew I wanted to.

No response.

He just stared. Muttering. Pupils blown wide–far too wide–lips moving at an even more frenzied pace.

"Hidan?" I asked again, a little louder, this time reaching out to rub his shoulder. Thinking, stupidly, that perhaps I could gently shake him from this. "H-Hidan? Honey? A-Are you oka–"

Oh. Oh no.

I felt the burn of bile at the back of my throat. Pure revulsion for whatever I'd just touched–it looked like Hidan, but that was not Hidan.

My entire body locked up. The quickening beat of my heart suddenly felt like a countdown. Like whatever I'd just felt was death itself and its blackened eyes—all of them—were now peeled wide on me.

The timer ticked faster. A horrible dread expanded in my gut and I knew I'd opened a box I couldn't shut. Peeked into the dark unknown and now it was staring back.

'There you are.'

I heard it—felt it—in the back of my mind. Like a chorus of voices all trying and failing to sound as one.

Run.

The fear overwhelmed me. Nearly came up as vomit. Made me jerk away–or try to anyway.

But Hidan was fast. My wrist felt painfully small in his sudden grip twisting around it, making me cry out in a pinched voice.

I lost my breath at the burning cold sensation of his fingers squeezing even tighter as I tore back uselessly. "H-Hidan, p-please—" I managed to choke out.

But Hidan wasn't there right now. I knew that.

His expression hardened. All his manic prayers ceased. His head mechanically shifted toward me, eyes finally tearing away from the ceiling. Flaring nostrils. Scowl pulling into a loathsome sneer at the sight of me like I was the source of his greatest displeasure.

A low, rumbling growl carried in his throat like a beast barely caged. His pupils continued to expand. When I thought they'd stop–leave a small sliver of hazy amethyst at the edge of his iris–they did not. Pushing past the color of his eyes, the darkness swelled to overtake even the whites until they were nothing but glinting obsidian.

Face souring, I shook my head in disbelief. "Hidan," I sobbed in horror, still yanking back with all my pathetic might thinking this must be a nightmare.

He shook his head slowly as if to say, no, not Hidan.

Like that's not obvious.

My Hidan always ran hot, but this one was just so cold. I expected the opposite considering the layer of sweat covering him, but now as his fingers clamped like a vice around my wrist, I could really feel it.

The frigid bite and the ensuing numbness. My eyes shocked wide, tears finally spilling as I watched his fingertips darken in absolute horror. The black decay of frostbite spread like a cancer down to his knuckles, radiating dark tendrils further along his hand and spanning his forearm.

This… this thing in him was literally freezing his body from the inside out just to get to me? To hurt me? Like he was nothing to it? Just some collateral damage that it'd fix later?

The realization struck me hard—made me sick. Made me mad.

Hidan says it's loud, so shut it up.

Yes. That was a good plan.

Deep breath in. Big breath out. I did so from my nose, lips pressed into a firm line in my attempt to ignore the cold sear around my wrist.

If I couldn't break out, then I would break in. If this thing didn't like me close, then it was in for a bad time.

With proximity on my side and one free hand, I hoped it would be enough. I brought my palm to Hidan's face and fought against my burgeoning fear to keep it there. With the way he glared at me, let out a disdainful hiss, you'd have thought I'd pushed a hot iron to his skin.

"Bitch," he seethed, further tightening his already painful grip on me. I steeled myself to simply stare back, remind myself that Hidan was not the one talking.

"Be quiet," I said evenly, despite crapping myself on the inside, the only inflection present one of tempered disgust. "I'm not talking to you."

Shifting gears to speak to Hidan, I let the warmth back into my voice and gave his cheek a light squeeze. "Shhh," I shushed softly. "It's okay, Hidan." And I prayed that if I could bluff out of my ass enough, that might not be a lie.

His face was cold like the rest of him, but it warmed beneath my skin after a lingering moment. That seemed promising. Ass bluffing was going well so far.

"Hey you," I whispered as I let my little fingers gently scratch into his hairline. Push the stray, sweat-soaked hairs back into it and finger-comb through his silvery locks.

Watching his face intently for any signs of sweet, chaotic man, and not the thing wearing him like it's Sunday best, I leaned in closer. "I know you're in there, Hidan," I said quietly. Assuredly. A small smile present in my voice. "And I know you don't want to hurt me."

He stared. Offered no response. Eyes still black. Lips still sneering.

With a shifting glance to his arm though, I noted the decaying procession had not only stopped, but was actually receding.

He was fighting. I knew he was.

My heart swelled, thumping in my chest like a war drum–a call to arms.

Admittedly, my battle arsenal was a bit under-equipped. It was small and mostly stocked with useless affections, as some might call them, but if they were all had then I'd wield them ferociously.

"Hidan," I spoke softly, thinking not of the black eyes staring back at me but of my fondness for the man somewhere behind them. "I know it's loud right now, honey. I know it is." Pausing my touches to push up onto the bed, I awkwardly maneuvered myself over him to straddle his torso. "But I'll make them quiet, okay? I promise. I just need your help. Just need you to listen to me, alright?"

Hidan's lips pressed together tightly and his nostrils flared with an overwrought bluster. I couldn't tell if it was out of anger or effort, but at least it was a reaction. At least I was reaching him.

"I know it's hard... that I'm asking a lot... but I need you to come back to me, okay?" I asked quietly, one wrist still gripped by him while my other hand cupped his cheek, thumb glancing softly over the apple of it. "Because I've missed you so so much it's stupid. I know it was only a few days, and that makes me so... disgustingly needy?" I broke to laugh without much humor. "But I can't help it. I need you to come back to me. Please, Hidan."

He grunted out some strained noise, his jaw flexing with gritted teeth. Like a blotch of ink being sucked up right off a page, the white edges of his eyes started to reappear, and my heart nearly skipped a beat.

"Hey, there you are," I breathed, voice awash with relief at this turning of tides. "You're doing so well, Hidan. Keep going a little more, okay? I'm right here. I'm so excited to see you again." While his fingers still coiled around my wrist, the burning cold had begun to recede.

I let myself lean lower. Pressed my forehead against his, all clammy and slick, like maybe that'd force this thing back into its hole even faster. Holding there for a stretch of silence, just listening to his shallow breaths, I silently willed them to even out.

"Hey… do you remember that time I was freaking out?" I spoke quietly, eyes closed. "I felt so out of control that I could hardly breathe? It was right before we first kissed. Do you remember?"

It felt so long ago, the day Hidan taught me the art of surviving a panic attack. Without any audible response from him I pressed on.

"Remember how you told me to calm down? Big, deep breaths? Holding them in before letting them out?" I shifted slightly, just enough to press my lips to his cheek where they lingered for a long moment. "Can you do that for me right now?"

While I wouldn't have called it a deep breath, it was different. An attempt, maybe. It shuddered both in and out of him. Hung ragged in the air. He did this a few times, slowly getting less and less shaky.

"You know, I really fell for you that day," I whispered, planting another patient kiss to his other cheek. "I'll admit… I had a pretty big crush on you before that, but you were always so forward," I laughed quietly. "So ridiculous and over-the-top. I didn't know what to make of it. I just figured… you were bored, and I was… around?"

His breathing was getting more even, his breaths deeper. I continued on, speaking to him fondly like we were just reminiscing. Like I wasn't even trying to force his literal demons back into their depths.

"I couldn't really fathom someone like you being interested in me. I still can't, to be honest, but I've gotten past questioning it." I sighed, smiling to myself and smoothing back a section of hair above his ear. "But that was the day I knew it was more. That you were more… and I just couldn't help but fall in love. I never really stood a chance, did I?"

"I-Izu…" at the sound of my name, or the choked attempt of it anyway, I reared back to look at him.

"Yeah. Yes. I'm right here. I'm right here," I blurted in a rush, petting manically at his face and hair with my one free hand.

My heart seized at the sight of him. He finally wore an expression that was his own, though it was terrible. The word 'devastation' came to mind. His eyes–a thin ring of color now peeking out–were locked on to where his massive, blackened hand dwarfed my wrist and twisted around it like a gnarled root, absolutely terror-struck.

"You're not… suppose to–ngh–be here," he forced out breathlessly between gritting teeth, voice pitched with hysteria. Eyes practically vibrating with alarm as he seemed to process the situation.

I nodded quickly, earnestly. "Yes, I am. I'm fine. I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Honey. Honey, just focus on me and breathe," I soothed, sucking in a deep breath, trying to coax him into doing the same.

He did, a little, but he was distracted. His eyes grew watery and kept flickering over to my wrist, watching the darkness that tainted his skin retreat until it was just in his fingers.

"I'm fucking… hurting you," he croaked with a nauseated shake of his head. "Th-they are," he quickly corrected, though it didn't seem to make it much better to him.

"I'm okay, Hida–"

"Hold on," he cut me off, wincing like he was straining to make out a voice in the crowd. Only a fraction later did his mouth tug into a fierce scowl. "No," he spat, shaking his head. Suddenly he was bellowing, the tendons in his neck bulging with the same intensity as his booming volume. "Fucking no. Not her, she's off fucking limits! I've told you that so many fucking times, what don't you fucking understand?!"

I sat statue still, swallowing as I watched his face color up with pure, unchecked rage, and while the yelling jarred me, I realized he was not talking to me.

Gusting breaths puffed from his nose like an enraged bull. He seemed to be waiting for a response that apparently never came because soon after he snapped to look at me.

"I'm so sorry, baby" he choked, his anger losing all its steam upon sight of me, only to be replaced with raw guilt. The tears that had been welling in his eyes now spilled as he shook his head, his face twisting up. "You weren't supposed to fuckin'... see me like this."

"It's okay, Hidan!" I promised eagerly, desperate to hold his breaking heart together. "I-I'm fine!"

Hidan made a horrible choking noise when he tried to swallow and shook his head even more, eyes fixed on his hand. The decay had nearly faded from his fingertips. "Listen to me, baby," he began, voice low and nearly even as he apparently summoned more control. "The instant I let go, you run. And I mean the fucking instant, okay? You get far away from me, do you understand?"

"But I can hel–"

"Please," Hidan raised his voice frantically, pausing to level out, "Please, sweetheart, I need you to just do as I say. I'm not... safe... right now."

I swallowed my arguments and nodded, tears streaking down my cheeks as well as I eked out an "okay."

"That's my girl," he praised with way too much sorrow for it to feel good. "Now get ready." Looking at his hand, his jaw clenched with effort. Tremors shook his whole arm as he fought to uncurl his fingers with a grunt. "Pull," he spat the command between his teeth.

I did. I tore back and tumbled off the bed as my arm finally popped out of his grip.

Opening my mouth to speak, the words died in my throat as Hidan instantly urged me to run in a booming yell.

I scrambled to comply, tripping over myself to get up and over to the door. My hands were trembling terribly as I struggled to unlock it in the gloom. Finally getting it and whipping the door open, I hesitated with a look back at Hidan.

He cradled his wrist to his chest, breathing heavily as he watched me. "Go! I'm fine, baby girl," he urged at my stalling. "Just go to Kakuzu!"

Despite the act of leaving him alone going against every bone in my body, I nodded, thankful for the directive. "I will," I promised, nodding profusely. "I love you."

Kakuzu made sense. Surely, he'd be able to help. In fact, Lucky was already trying to, if that was any indicator or Kakuzu's will.

I realized he'd been digging at the door as soon as I burst out of it, slamming the poor little guy back onto his butt. "Lucky," I breathed out an apology, quickly righting him onto all four flippers. "C'mon buddy, we have to go get Kakuzu." Gesturing for him to follow, I took off.

Bolting down hallway after hallway, Lucky fell behind in all his fitful flopping by the time I made it to Kakuzu's door.

I knocked frantically. Nothing.

It wasn't locked though.

Swinging the door open, I saw Kakuzu there, sound asleep in bed with his earplugs in.

Typical.

I padded in quickly, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him, his name on repeat as a harsh whisper from my lips.

His arm shot out. I thought he'd woken up until his fingers were wrapping around and squeezing the small column of my throat.

"Kakuzu?!" I managed to squeak before I couldn't say anything at all.

I scrabbled and pried at the thick fingers coiling around my neck to no avail. Kakuzu's hand was massive and it only took one to encompass it entirely. I couldn't so much as wheeze out his name with the pressure of his crushing assault.

As I dug blunt nails into the leathery flesh of his arm, it actually detached from his body. Inky tendrils stretched to keep his forearm loosely connected as he hoisted me higher. My feet kicked and flailed, toes stretching to touch the ground and finding nothing.

His eyes weren't even open. This was it. This was how Idied.

Sleep Strangled: An Izumi Story.

It was so pathetically fitting, it hurt.

With my head getting light and my eyes beginning to roll back, I weakly clawed and slapped at Kakuzu's arms, which I imagined felt like the equivalent of a mosquito bite to him. Even that might have been giving myself too much credit.

His grip tightened. Everything reduced to darkness and I felt the strength sap from my body all at once.

It was over.

Kakuzu would wake up to my corpse beside him in roughly four hours, wondering what happened. He didn't deserve that... God. What had I don–

"What the… fuck?" Kakuzu's groggy voice muttered. My vision may have been blurred and darkening, but his voice came through alright. I had never heard anything more beautiful.

In all of my strangled distraction, I'd forgotten about Lucky–my hero.

He was on the bed now with a startled squeak, a wild swath of threads shooting from his mouth to invade Kakuzu's ear which he jolted to swat away with his free hand. Blinking awake and taking in the immediate sight of his frantic heart creature weirdly assaulting him, his eyes adjusted quickly and shifted to land on me.

They bulged wide. I instantly found myself falling to the ground in a coughing heap.

"What the fuck, Izumi?!" I vaguely heard him through my fit of hacking as I gathered back my waning consciousness.

Rubbing at my sore neck with one hand and wiping at my tears and snot with the other, I stayed there as an absolute mess on the floor in recovery mode, sobbing uncontrollably.

My body seized up at the feel of hands on me once more. The sensation of being lifted was disorienting in my current state of patheticness. Startled as I was, I fought to get away, pushing and swatting at the arms seeking to capture me.

"Stop. It's me. Stop fighting me." It was Kakuzu's voice. He was… he was just pulling me onto the bed. Onto his lap.

"Kakuzu," I eked out, reducing down to nothing but a purple-faced, salty-eyed disaster of a human as I went limp in his arms. Lifting my head to look up at him, I immediately cringed at his fury-hardened expression. "I-I'm sorry. I was j-just trying to w-w-wake you up." My voice came out as little more than an airy rasp.

He lit into me, ire in every crevice of his face. "What the fuck were you thinking? Waking me up like that, expecting I wouldn't just kill you!? Izumi, so fucking help me, do you know how close I was to snapping your stupid fucking nec-"

Oh God. He was yelling. His voice was so booming I practically felt it vibrating my bones. It made me want to curl into a ball and just roll away.

I clapped my hands over my ears, shaking my head profusely. "St-stop, p-please! P…. Please…" I begged, coughing to the point of gagging. I couldn't take his scolding, I just couldn't. All I could do was plead with him, clutch onto him and beg him to stop, barely intelligible through my choking sobs.

I pulled myself against him in a feverish attempt to hide, grasping and twisting my fingers into the back of his shirt, crying mercilessly into the front of it.

After unsuccessfully trying to squeeze between us, Lucky took to aggressively nuzzling my side, pressing himself to me with a sad warbling noise like he was glued there now.

"K-Kakuzu… I-I'm sorry... I-I just n-needed help… I didn't k-know who else to g-go to, I swear–"

He forced me back with heavy hands cupping over my shoulders, scrutinizing me, his face vaguely illuminated by the sliver of light coming in from the hallway by means of the cracked door. His eyes flitted over me, mouth drawn taut as he met me with an indiscernible look.

My face was soured, shoulders shaking, hands fisting into his shirt. "Don't be m-mad at me, I'm... s-sorry, Kakuzu," I choked out, eyes wincing and feeling like I'd never cried so hard in my life. "I'm s-sorry I'm so stupid. I don't m-mean to be…" I clenched my eyes shut at the sight of him looking like he might want to hang me by my own entrails for being such an immense pain in his ass. "I-I'll go, okay? Don't be mad. I'll g-get someone e-else."

I shifted to leave, but instead found myself being yanked tightly against him, his massive hands splaying across my hair and back to hold me there. He didn't yell anymore, didn't say anything, but I continued my repetitious apologies anyway.

The voice that came from him next was low and gruff, but composed. "Stop. Izumi."

"Don't be mad at me…"

"I'm not."

"I was j-just scared… I'm s-sorry." My forehead pressed against his chest, shaking back and forth.

"Izumi… stop. Stop crying." His voice was strangely even. While it was still an order, there was a tightness to it, some edge of pleading.

"I won't d-do it again," I promised.

"Okay… that's good." He pet my hair against the nape of my neck in a neurotic sort of repetition before coming to a stop, fingers curling to gently scratch there and hold me to him. "You can stop now."

"I c-can't…"

"Yes you can, just relax." The weight of his chin atop my head helped to hold me in place too when I shook against him. "Calm down and breathe, Izumi."

"C-Can't," I hiccupped, coughing into his collar.

"Shhh… stop." Kakuzu's shushing was deep and gravelly as his hand swept along my shoulders before squeezing them tight. "You're okay. I... need you to be okay."

With a weak nod, I managed to whimper out an "okay" and curled into him further. Eventually I tried to pull back to look up at him, but he didn't allow this.

I couldn't tell if he didn't want to look at me, or if he didn't want me to see him. Maybe both.

Without a word, he kept me like that for a long moment. Tucked beneath his jaw, held tightly in place with his thumb glancing over the knob of my shoulder in an absent rhythm.

"You need to be more careful, Izumi," he eventually murmured, the rage no longer shaking his voice. "I almost…" he trailed off, shaking his head with a deep exhale from his nose.

"I know," I sniffed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… and you… y-you didn't mean to, r-right?" I asked, and he finally weakened his hold enough for me to pull back just enough to look up at him with leaking puffy eyes.

Kakuzu stared down at me, his face strained, the whole thing pulled down into a grimace. "What kind of fucking quest-" He was back to being irate in a split second.

I bit my lip, wincing in anticipation. But there was a brief flicker of restraint as he paused mid-sentence with a close of his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he opened them again and forced calm onto his face. "No, I didn't," he said firmly. "Now let me see. I will fix this."

Tipping my chin up with two fingers, he swept the hair from my neck, peering at the dark blooms gathering around it in sweeping masses. A Kakuzu hand-sized bruise would soon cover the whole thing.

He just stared with a disgusted shake of his head as chakra began to hum at his fingertips.

"I-I'll be okay," I assured, bringing my hand to his, trying to lower it away. He could heal me later. Hidan was still in trouble and I'd already wasted so much time.

That was when Kakuzu's eyes locked on to my wrist. The one with distinct finger-shaped marks seared around it like a bad case of freezer burn. The dim glow of healing energy fizzled out from him as he hyper-fixated on it.

"What is..." His brows pinched together, tightening low over his deep-set stare as he grabbed my forearm and held it up to examine the angry inflammation. "Did I…" he trailed off, an obvious confusion setting in as he tried to piece together the cause.

"It's Hidan," I eked out with a shake of my head. "H-He… something's wrong. He needs your h-help. I t-tried, but–"

His eyes narrowed. Suddenly Kakuzu was pushing me off him and leaping out of bed, a certain realization striking him plain and clear.

"He's back? You saw him? He did this?" he demanded in a rush as he tore open his dresser drawer. Thank goodness my face was already red from crying because Kakuzu wore some very small, very tight briefs.

"It wasn't his fault," I started defending immediately, hugging Lucky to my chest. "It… it wasn't him, I don't know how to explain it."

"You don't have to," he muttered like he was well aware of Hidan's proclivity for possession.

"Kakuzu, you need to help him," I pleaded tearfully, clutching at Lucky even tighter.

"I'm going," Kakuzu spat under his breath, tugging some pants on and striding out the door. "You stay here."

But I was already sliding off the bed and following clumsily at his heels, setting Lucky down so I could keep up better.

"Izumi…" Kakuzu growled, whirling around to glare at me in the light of the hallway. "Stay."

"I don't want to," I said, punctuated with a wincing cough and a rub of my throat. "I want to make sure he's okay."

"I will do that. You just need to stay here and trust me. Understood?" Now that we were in a well-lit area, Kakuzu could see me in all my swollen, glassy-eyed glory and it renewed that strained expression of his. He reached out once more with a scowl, tipping my chin up and eyeing my neck with a deep grumbling noise in the back of his throat. "I'll fix this once I get back."

"I'm okay. Kakuzu, please. I want to come with y–"

"Something going on out here?" Kisame's voice from down the hall washed a look of relief over Kakuzu's face.

"Good. You're here," Kakuzu said, grabbing me by my uninjured wrist to tug me down the hall where Kisame was leaning out from within his bedroom doorway. He practically flung me at Kisame who caught me by the shoulders when I stumbled into him. "Watch her. I'll be back soon."

With one look at me, Kisame's expression fell. "Holy shit. Iz," he breathed, brows pinching tightly as he instantly dropped to a knee. Checking me over much in the same way Kakuzu had, he quickly took in the sight of my tear-streaked face, my neck, my wrist, the weeping skin that had apparently split on my elbow, either from being dropped and falling off Hidan's bed.

Snapping to look from me to Kakuzu, the question of 'what the hell happened? ' was so apparent on his face he didn't even need to ask.

Kakuzu grimaced with a shake of his head. "I'll be back to fix her," was all he offered in the way of explanation. "Just keep her with you."

"Yeah," Kisame agreed, not needing to understand the situation to realize the weight of Kakuzu's urgency. With a nod, Kakuzu was briskly taking off in the direction of Hidan's room.

And then it was just Kisame and me.