.: Growth and progress are not a steady trend. Sometimes you fall back again and have to pick yourself back up. But thank you for viewing this story as One Piece movie material. According to my friends, that's a good compliment. So, thank you! :.

The Girl with A Half-Soul

Chapter 12:

Piecing Together Her Brokenness

Sleep was a tricky game. The body needed it for rest and repair, but for Aurilee, her mind did everything but rest. After two back-to-back nights of waking up to her screaming, Nami prepared for it. She stayed still in her hammock, listening carefully. The fatigue dragging down her eyelids wanted her to succumb. Aurilee had drifted off for at least an hour by now. The whole ship was quiet with recurring creaks in the wood. If only it could have stayed that way.

Eventually, the navigator overheard her roommate moan unconsciously. Then the sheets brushed with movement. It would go quiet once more, and then more troubling moans would ring out. It was happening again. In the midst of her deep sleeping phase, Aurilee was fighting something that Nami could not decipher.

With her brain forever altered from the traumatic events she experienced over the years, the processing of her memories was on the fritz. While trying to store everything that had transpired since she last slept, the trauma was still fresh to her. The most prominent memory her brain was stuck on was the attack of the Marine. It played out in her dreams, distressing her greatly.

She trod slowly through the forest of her home island. The air carried a mysterious blue-green hue, causing the shadows from the trees and underbrush to show in different directions. The Marine was behind her, taunting her. She wanted to get away but could not move fast enough. The path she was following, too, seemed to never end as it wound with many twists and turns.

"Just give me the money and all this will be over," the Marine rationalized.

But she knew he was lying. Without even knowing his face, the cold sweat on her skin kept her on edge. The air was getting thicker and getting harder for her to intake.

"Aurilee," a different male voice called out.

Her head jerked from the recognition. A man stepped out of view, disappearing behind a thin trunk. Calisto? No, the voice did not scare her. Rather, it relieved her to hear it. And she swore to have seen longer hair running down his neck. But Gerald's did not grow that long…

"Papa?" she voiced, feeling her step quicken out of disbelief. Her body went to where he had gone, but he was nowhere in sight. "No, wait!" she called after him, traveling deeper and the Marine falling behind in his pursuit.

"I'm close, Aurilee," he spoke again, an echo following the last syllable.

She looked around wildly, growing confused. The rocky outcrop where their refuge was should have been nearby, but the terrain never rose steeply along the side of the path. After making a left turn, Paititi reappeared with his back to her. This time she got a good look at him. He walked barefoot with his bow in hand. The majestic white headdress of Skah did not cover his head, leaving his tangled hair to face the elements. "Come here," he beckoned without looking back at her. "Your mother is waiting for us."

She formed an exuberant smile as she hurried after him, but the weight of her distended abdomen slowed her down. Too many moons had passed since she last saw her parents. And Papa did not seem to be a day older!

Trying to follow him farther only allowed him to vanish once more. And the haunting hue of the air only hindered her sight more. The bushes around her shuffled, and a four-legged predator flashed by. It appeared to be hunting Paititi just as she was. Fearing for his safety, she called after him again. "Come back, Papa!"

But the four-legged predator suddenly stood up on its hind legs and stalked into her direct route. Towering over her by several feet with dark fur, claws as long as daggers, and a long snout, she realized the monster was not just any monster. It was Paititi himself. He looked as if he wanted to attack. Although she was frightened, the sight of Calypso's shotgun barrel going off right in his face was not what she wanted to happen.

Aurilee cried out at the gruesome scene. The blood, tissue, and fur that was strewn everywhere brought Paititi crashing down. She threw herself over him, too late in protecting him. The warm crimson liquid pooled underneath them both as he laid unmoving. The violet-haired captain of the Gunslinger Pirates stepped closer. "I can't believe he never saw it coming," she goaded.

With tears pouring down her face, she gazed up with the most vehement anger seething. Her life did not have to end up like this. But Calypso took away everything that she had known and loved.

When she looked up into her face, her emotions switched to immediate trepidation. The feminine face was instead masculine. With the same violet color flowing from the scalp, Calisto ogled the scene with a wicked chuckle under his breath. All it took was one glance, and Aurilee was paralyzed. Her body would not move. Not even her diaphragm would deflate to breathe.

"I thought you didn't need anything," Calisto mocked.

The sound of the voice startled her. It did not match the abuser she had known for years. But before she could think straight, a piercing sensation gouged her insides. She wanted to scream from the pain but could not find the breath to support it. The blade of a sword with an ivory hilt had impaled into her womb. Zoro replaced Calisto's presence in the blink of an eye. The skin tone darkened, the hair color turned green and retracted back to a short length, and he coldly watched as even more blood soaked the ground. "Don't worry. I'll take care of it," he said.

Nami pressed her hands into Aurilee's arm and shoulder to shake her. "Hey," she said. "Aurilee, wake up."

Her unconscious moaning had grown louder until Nami knew what was bound to happen next. Sparing the crew from another scare, she decided to interrupt the nightmare before it climaxed. Aurilee woke up with a shiver, feeling the hands on her and wanting to get away from the danger. "It's okay!" Nami continued, stopping her. "It's Nami." Aurilee felt her rapid heartbeat in her eardrums as her intense breathing tried to find a steady pace. Nami's voice was muffled to her, and she was almost aware of it by the lack of a proper response. Concerned she was witnessing a panic attack, she pulled the sheets up to join and help her relax.

The body heat and calm touch helped guide Aurilee back to reality. The island was gone. It was never there to begin with. She knew she was on the Going Merry with the Straw Hat Pirates, and that she had fallen asleep with only Nami in the room with her. The shallow breaths seeped away with the erratic heart palpitations. Soon it was calm for her and her reeling mind.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" the navigator asked.

She thought about the unexpected segment that Zoro had; after thinking she had come to terms with him being nothing like Calisto, why was she feeling scared all over again? All she wanted was to forget about it, so she shook her head in the dark and started reaching over Nami in search of Chopper's medical bag on the floor. "I want to hear them," she choked, her trembling movements straining herself.

Feeling the weight and what Aurilee was trying to do, Nami turned over onto her back. "What do you mean?"

"Their hearts."

Understanding finally, Nami reached down herself to pull up the little blue backpack Chopper had left behind and opened it to pull out the stethoscope. She helped get the plugs in her ears and let her operate the diaphragm until she found what she desired. The center of her belly had one baby to be heard. Its little heart pounded fast. Hearing it for herself was much more surreal than she ever expected. At first it startled her, but hearing how consistent it was eased her worry. Exploring the areas Chopper had discovered previously, she found the same evidence of all three existences. One triplet was in the lower right side of the womb, the second was in the direct center, and the third was in the upper left side. There was nothing wrong with any of them. What happened in her nightmare did not affect her children whatsoever.

Nami waited in the silence. She could not see in the pitch-black darkness. After a couple minutes, Aurilee removed the plugs from her ears and offered them to her. "I'm sorry," she said. "I-I just had to make sure."

"No, it's okay," Nami soothed, taking the stethoscope and returning it to the bag. "But are you okay?"

Aurilee did not answer straightaway. Instead, she shifted to lay back down. The last time she woke up from a nightmare, she could not go back to sleep. Would it be the same tonight? "…Not really, but what else is new?" she finally replied.

Nami noticed the dejectedness in her voice. Under the sheets, she found her hand and held it. It may take a long time, but one day, Aurilee would sleep soundly again. She was surrounded by people who wanted to help get her there.

The boys' quarters was filled with laughter that could not be contained. It was what got Zoro to open his eyes. Below him, Luffy was trying his best to prance around with the kilt all jumbled and distorted around his waist, but it had no support and kept wanting to drop down to his ankles. Usopp and Chopper were watching and cracking up as their captain struggled to wear the garment of the Highlander men.

"I need a belt!" Luffy said, remembering how Sanji had one yesterday. But as he threw random articles of clothes over his shoulders, the kilt gave up and revealed his bare bottom to the entire room.

Usopp laughed harder, not even caring about Zoro trying to sleep. "Put on some underwear!" he insisted, grabbing what looked like a cleaner pair off the floor and throwing it at him.

Chopper climbed up the mast. "I think Sanji has an extra belt in his locker," he giggled. "I'll go get it."

Zoro rubbed his eyes and slipped out of his hammock. There was no point in trying to sleep more right now if the others were going to goof off. He would just take a nap later. Slipping his boots on and grabbing his swords, he started climbing the mast.

"Wait! Zoro!" Luffy called after him. "How do you put this thing on?"

He halted halfway up and looked down at Luffy as he was trying to fold the kilt like a big blanket. "You gotta lay on the floor with it and wrap it around yourself," he answered, continuing his climb.

"Huh?! That's a lot of effort for a skirt!" he protested.

Not interested in debating with him, the swordsmen made it onto the deck to find Robin was standing with a book in hand. Twitchy the goat was wide awake, and as he wandered around aimlessly, Robin was tracking him to keep him safe. "You can go get some sleep. I'll watch the pet," he offered.

"I was going to wait until after breakfast, but thank you," she responded, closing her book and holding it to her side. "How are you this morning? Sore?"

He could feel tightness in his shoulders and back, but with all the training he did, it did not hurt. Maybe after some stretching, it would ease up. He also noticed how steady his energy levels were. A full night of undisturbed rest made it feel like he was not awake for forty-eight hours straight. Now that he was thinking about it, he thought it was odd. "I'm fine," he answered. "Aurilee hasn't come up yet, has she?"

"Not yet. Did she wake everyone up again?"

"Not that I'm aware of," he admitted, heading to their quarters to check. Chopper beat him to the door, busting from the other side and almost running into his shins, but he quickly skidded and rounded him to throw Sanji's belt down into their room.

"That's great news," she said as he disappeared.

Finding the door, he knocked and cracked the door open. "You both awake in there?"

"We'll be up soon," Nami responded as she slipped on a red tank top.

Aurilee patiently sat on the bed with a great amount of soreness radiating from her stitches. She was wearing clean clothes and her hair was brushed. She had been listening to the muffled laughter on the other side of the trap door, but the moment Zoro spoke, she was filled with stress.

Without opening the door more, he called down to her specifically. "If you're hurting, Aurilee, I can carry you up. Chopper will give you more meds soon."

She rubbed her palms together as they started to sweat. It was hard to believe she was fine with being carried by him just yesterday. "N-No I'm fine," she stammered, barely loud enough for him to hear. Although she could walk without a limp now, the movement still aggravated her stitches. But she was willing to bear the pain if it would calm her down.

Taking her word for it, he left the vicinity to go head up to the kitchen. Luffy somewhat figured out the kilt and was trying to do things in it like run, jumping jacks, and cartwheels on the deck. Usopp and Chopper enjoyed the immature display so much that their stomachs were hurting. Even Robin was entertained by their captain's playfulness. It was like he was blissfully unaware that they were sailing without direction.

Taking a seat at the table, Sanji did not greet him. Not that Zoro cared anyway. But he still noticed how the shitty cook was grabbing at his shoulders every now and then. When Robin asked about being sore a few minutes ago, he suddenly understood why. If Sanji was the first crewmate to emerge, and he was somewhat struggling to get comfortable in his own skin, then that must have meant the others were in similar boats.

Well, Luffy and Usopp definitely were not acting like they were bothered by the rowing. One was a rubber man, and despite having the ability to get hurt, it made sense why strenuous activity such as prolonged rowing did not faze him. As for the sniper…Zoro guessed that he was just not putting in as much work as the rest of them were. Sanji probably would not be hurting if his physique focused on his upper body more.

But Sanji masked his physical struggles once the door started opening more and the crew poured in for breakfast. He placed full plates in front of everyone with a satisfied grin. Today it was buttermilk pancakes with some sweet toppings like strawberries or chocolate chips, and on the side there was fruit, freshly baked herbal bread and toast, and scrambled eggs with grated cheese. The meal was met with joy as he placed a tray with more pancakes in the center of the table.

Everyone chattered amongst themselves. Nami discussed the need for people to be on the lookout for any islands today. Usopp talked with Luffy about some new concoctions he wanted to experiment with for his slingshot ammo. Sanji admitted to Chopper that he was hurting in his shoulders, arms, and back, so the reindeer promised to get him a dose of medicine after they were finished eating. Robin mostly kept quiet but was pleased to be surrounded by her friends. Zoro cleaned his plate and went for another stack of pancakes, and while doing so, he looked up at Aurilee. She sat without much to say. With an elbow resting on the table and a hand pressed into her jaw, she almost looked disgruntled as she slowly ate. Then it hit him that she was probably dissociating again.

Nobody waking up to her screaming made him wonder if she slept much at all. With Robin, he could tell she was ready to close her eyes for a few hours. With Aurilee, she just appeared weary.

"Hey, Aurilee," Luffy said.

It took her a second to realize someone was getting her attention, but she made eye contact with him.

"Are you gonna have any seconds? Because I want the rest of the pancakes!" he informed her.

She glanced around to see the others were either finished eating or getting the last few bites in. Meanwhile, she was still only halfway done with her first portion. There was just no appetite to entice her this morning. To answer him, she shook her head and pushed her plate away.

"No, keep eating," he insisted, stretching his arms for the big platter with the extras. "I just wanted to make sure first."

Usopp swallowed his last forkful of eggs as he looked to Luffy with confusion. The captain was the last person who would put forth a gesture like that. If he was not paying close enough attention, Luffy was bound to steal food from his plate. He may have been an idiot, but he was at least conscientious enough to know Aurilee needed the food more than he did.

"I'm not very hungry right now," Aurilee claimed, leaving her plate where it was.

He stopped himself from chowing down when he saw how she was crestfallen. The previous night, she was still not energetic, but she was in a better mood. What the heck happened this time? It annoyed Luffy. "Why aren't you happy?" he questioned her.

Everyone fell silent and paused in their eating. Aurilee felt uncomfortable suddenly. She did not want to look up.

"You're in a safe place. You're eating great food. You didn't wake up last night. We're taking you home. There's no reason for you to be sad," he continued.

Nami immediately punched the back of Luffy's head to make his face hit the table. "Leave her alone!" she reprimanded.

After his face collided with a tremor that made the porcelain and glasses vibrate, his annoyance grew more toward his navigator. "What?!" he protested. "We're doing everything we can to make her happy, but she just won't be for some reason!"

Aurilee visibly recoiled from the confrontation, and Sanji recognized it. Her troubles were far deeper than being safe and having food to eat. Luffy was insensitively – although inadvertently – invalidating and belittling her feelings and experiences. He was a step away from calling her ungrateful. "Shut up, Luffy," Sanji warned.

"But it's not hard to just smile," Luffy argued.

Not able to handle the tension, Aurilee got up from her seat and left the room.

"Nice, Luffy," Nami satirically congratulated. "That's exactly what she needed right now."

Sanji stood up to go follow her, but Chopper stopped him. "Hold on. Let me talk to her." He hopped down from his part of the shared bench and trotted out. The outside was still breezy as the Merry sailed, and it caused many scents to fill his nose. Aurilee had disappeared rather quickly. Tracking her milky scent, Chopper found that she had not gone down to the girls' quarters as expected. Instead, she made a left turn and headed to the back deck.

Before meeting up with her, he made a detour to the boys' quarters to retrieve a book and some pain medication. On his way to find her, he followed the scent all the way up to Nami's tangerine trees. It took a little bit of a climb, but he found the expectant mother sitting in the middle of them all. "Aurilee?" he said, emerging from the leafy branches.

She quickly dried her eyes and embarrassingly avoided eye contact.

"I'm sorry about Luffy. He just wants you feeling better," the reindeer clarified, sitting down next to her.

"I'm trying," she asserted.

"I know you are. It's not easy." He opened the little bottle of pills and offered her two. She recognized them and appreciatively took them. "Can I show you something?"

She shrugged.

He pulled up the book he had brought and opened it to a marked page. It had an image of brain comparisons. "I think you suffer from something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You suffer from nightmares and anxiety because of what those pirates did to you."

She stared at the pictures and tried to make out the words while he spoke.

"Because you've endured trauma, it's physically altered your brain and now you're overly sensitive to things." His hoof pointed to the healthy brain and showed her what an affected brain with PTSD looked like. Something that was obvious was how inflamed some areas were. "Your brain will be this way for the rest of your life."

Aurilee absorbed the words, feeling defeated. "Why are you showing me this?"

"Because I want you to understand that you're not doing anything wrong. You can't help it that you act the way you do sometimes. Luffy doesn't understand that about you, but I do, and I want to help."

She did not move or react to the proposition. He just said she would never be the same person she once was, but yet he could help her? That made no sense to her.

He got to his feet to stand in front of her. "Will you let me help you?"

"But you just said I won't change, so what's the point?"

"You can still cope with your trauma by processing your memories correctly." He picked the book back up and flipped a few pages to find what he was looking for. "Since your brain has physically changed, the parts responsible for thinking and memory have stopped functioning properly. All we have to do is train your brain to process the trauma to your long-term memory instead of keeping it all in your short-term memory."

Despite having no background in such complicated knowledge, the way Chopper was explaining it made sense to her. He was showing there was a light at the end of the tunnel for her. "How?"

"We have to simulate your sleep."

And he lost her. "What?"

"Mm," he hummed as he turned another page in thought. "When you sleep, you experience stages. Deep sleep, REM sleep, and light sleep. REM sleep is when your brain processes everything you went through during the day and turns it all into either long-term or short-term memories. Your eyes move side to side during it. I think if we go through your memories together and I guide your eyes the same way, your brain will do it while you're awake."

The idea of having to talk about her memories made her hesitate. All she wanted to do was forget about them all. But from what Chopper was explaining, it was burying it all that was ultimately hurting her. She would have to fight her inner demons head-on if she wanted to feel mental relief.

"We can take it slow," Chopper assured her. "And you can tell me everything. Just the two of us."

Aurilee sat there as the wind blew through Nami's trees. The reason she chose this place was because she did not want to be discovered straightaway by the others. But being surrounded by trees also reminded her of living in the wild. Now here she was with what would have been future food back when she was a kid. But Chopper was more than just a reindeer. He was a doctor who cared about his patients. He had even studied something new just to help her. Aurilee could never view him as something less just because of his species. As far as she could tell, he was just as human as everyone else on the Going Merry.

Without much intention behind it, Aurilee reached and picked up Chopper from beneath his armpits. He did not protest as she pulled him into her chest and belly for a snuggle. Her arms clutched around his back and her face pressed into his pink hat. The first time they ever met, she pushed him away from her harshly. The truth was she felt bad about it ever since but did not know how to deal with it. Now that they were about to start a new journey together, she wanted him to know how much she appreciated his kindness and dedication to keeping her healthy.

All Chopper thought during it, though, was how warm she was and how comfortable he was in her hug. Her babies were lucky to have a mom who would hold them like this. Hopefully by the time they were born, her emotions would be more stable and available for them.