.: Cranked out another fast update. I wouldn't say I'm on a roll, but I just know how things should play out lately. The same applies for the next chapter, but we'll see how long it takes me. :.

The Girl with A Half-Soul

Chapter 27:

Broken Promise...Broken Heart

There was always something slaking about the puff of a new cigarette. His addiction was a bit out of control, but that initial sensation was one he could never get over. Most of the time, Sanji smoked as a stress reliever. He picked up the habit while working at the Baratie. Since kitchens inevitably got hot, smoke breaks were a good excuse to have a change in scenery by going outside. That was what this felt like to him.

He sat on Jolene's front steps with nicotine filling his lungs. His hands buttoned his shirt back up. So much for getting laid. That was basically the only reason he was here. But instead of Jolene giving him something to remember her by, he was questioning why he was sticking around at all. Maybe he just needed to cool down a bit. Thinking about the insult hurled about Aurilee just hurt him was all. He was sad that his temporary lover belittled her behind her back. It was a negative aspect of her personality.

Unfortunately, Sanji could not stay offended for long. A real man forgave a lady. It was very possible that Jolene just let her insecurities get the better of her at that moment. Still though, the heavy mood could not be recovered. Even if it miraculously could, he did not feel like he could go forward with their one night stand. If Aurilee found out, she might get upset. Maybe the physical encounter itself would not bother her, but the idea of him sleeping with someone who thought little of her would. Her honor would be blemished.

As Sanji sat outside barefoot, he rested his elbows against his knees and ducked his head. The longer he resided in his own thoughts, the more guilty he felt. He told Aurilee he would come back after walking Jolene home. Yet here he was. He was sure she was fine, but he still disregarded her feelings the moment he started thinking with his dick. What if she was worried about him? If the roles were reversed, he would be worried sick. He could picture her standing on Merry's deck waiting for him to return in one piece. It was tragically romantic. How could he leave her alone like that?

It was all the convincing he needed. He got up and went back inside the house to retrieve his things. Jolene sat on her bed but heard him come back. Almost a little hopeful, she watched him approach only to slip his shoes back on. She immediately deflated. "You're leavin'?"

"I'm afraid I've left Aurilee waiting long enough," he told her reluctantly. "But it's been fun."

When she heard that, she was legitimately surprised. There was no resentment in his tone at all. And when his stance steadied, he even smiled at her.

"Thanks for inviting me in," he concluded. "I'll see myself out."

"Wait," she said before he could walk away. After sliding off the bed, she stood in front of him and tried to convey her regret sincerely. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it."

The apology enlightened him. Not that he thought Jolene was suddenly an evil woman after what she said, but it still fixed how he perceived her. She was only human, after all. "It's okay," he reassured her, reaching to hold her hand. "I already forgave you."

She wanted one last kiss at that moment, but only if he initiated it. Sanji was the most kindhearted man she had ever met. Anyone ordinary would have remained bitter and left without saying anything. The fact that he stayed true to himself made itself apparent when he refrained from any further affection and simply let go of her hand. He left the house with his shirt untucked, but as he walked into the dead of night, he slipped on his suit jacket and let his tie dangle around his neck.

But his collected composure let go. He pulled his shirt up to his face and frustratedly chewed on it.

Dammit! And after all that, I'm leaving her house a virgin still! he internally blighted.

It was normal for Aurilee to leave the cabin during the night for a bathroom break. That was not what alerted Robin in her sleep. When thirty minutes had passed and she had not returned, Robin got concerned. Without disturbing Nami as she slept in the hammock next to her, the archaeologist exited the girls' quarters. The bathroom was completely abandoned when she found it. Curious, she went outside to check in with Chopper.

The reindeer was sitting on the side wall with a lantern next to him. All she was able to see was part of his pink hat and antler pulsing with the lantern's flame. When she approached, her unvoiced inquiry was already answered. Aurilee was sitting where the bonfire once was. Her back was turned to them. Under the moonlight by itself, it was hard to see what exactly she was doing by herself.

"She was crying," Chopper revealed with dismay. "I didn't know what to do."

Without a reply, Robin climbed up to the plank to cross onto the land. It was at that moment Chopper decided to join her. He grabbed the lantern and trailed behind her. They both went to Aurilee, finding that she was sitting with a stick in hand, tracing in the dirt at her feet. She was unaware of their presence until Robin quietly sat next to her.

There was no probing to be had. Aurilee tried to ignore them both. She was not interested in conversation right now. When she sniffed, it was obvious her nostrils were narrowed and were not allowing air to pass through easily. She was embarrassed to be found in such a state.

Robin had a feeling this was related to what she stumbled across earlier today. As she glanced at Aurilee, she was struck by how the white hair shimmered silver against the moon's gleam. It was enchanting to say the least. She had never seen anything like it before. A part of her wondered if she had seen her mother under the same moon, would her luscious white hair do the same thing? Or was this just something unique to Aurilee?

Chopper climbed up onto the other side of Aurilee. After listening to her sob hard, he was relieved she eventually calmed down. Whatever it was that made her emotional, maybe she had come to terms with it. His animal eyesight allowed him to see in the dark. When he looked down at her feet, he saw indistinct markings in the dirt. There were no sketches or words or even completed lines. She had just been mindlessly navigating the stick in her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it now?" Robin abruptly asked without context.

"Not really," Aurilee muttered, pressing the tip of the stick into the ground before pushing it away from her. They all watched it tumble over and require someone to have to get up to retrieve it, but nobody was interested.

"Don't be afraid to open up. It's part of your healing," Chopper reminded her.

"It has nothing to do with my trauma," she deflected.

"Even if it doesn't, it's obviously still bothering you," Robin evaluated.

"Why are you interrogating me?"

The question made it clear that they were pushing their luck. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to," Robin soothed. "We just want to help you is all." She gently rested a hand in the center of her back to give her a rub. "I for one think you've cried enough for one lifetime. It's sad to know you still hurt over things."

Feeling the comforting touch pulled at her. It was compassionate. Neither of them would not be bothered by her returning tears, which were coming fast. And Robin's words resonated with her current misgivings. Aurilee was tired of crying over and over again. It would not bring Sanji back or miraculously ease her anxieties. But regardless, she found herself falling apart.

Chopper pressed the side of his face against her arm. He wondered if her sorrow had anything to do with her increased hormone production. As a doctor, he knew it was normal. Sometimes it caused emotional distress over the littlest things. That did not invalidate her feelings, though. Her pain was still just as real as a real crisis she may face. Others may have viewed it as trivial and unimportant, but not her friends.

"I know we have to say goodbye someday," she wept while trying to keep her voice steady, "but even when we do, that doesn't mean you'll forget about me, r-right?"

At that moment, Chopper could hear Vivi calling out to the Merry as their crew sailed away from Alabasta.

"If we ever meet again, no matter how much time's passed, will you still call me 'friend'?"

Robin was not sure how to answer the question right away, but he did. "You're our friend, and you'll still be our friend after we go our separate ways."

Hearing it made Robin smile. She brushed her hand onto Aurilee's shoulder to embrace her. "And think about it like this. When we find your home island, Nami can add it to her map. That way we can come back and see you again one day."

The proposition was meant to uplift her spirits, but Aurilee found herself doubting if that would actually happen. Maybe they would part ways mutually, but why come back just to see her? Nobody had ever done that for her before. Gerald promised to get her back, yet he settled down with Millie and never looked back. Paititi also vowed he would see her again, but that was so long ago, and the world was so big that there was just no way for it to be possible. Heck, Sanji could not even come back to her after what should have been like a thirty-minute escapade. Did they really just expect her to take their word for it?

"I don't believe you," she miserably disclosed.

"Okay. Why don't you believe us?" Robin asked. She was not offended or discouraged by the remark. This was a wounded side coming out of her. It was natural for an abuse victim to remain vigilant and be skeptical about others. They could spend all kinds of time together to build a trusting relationship, but as soon as they left the room and returned, it could be like they never bonded in the first place. So in a way, this was to be expected.

"Because everyone leaves me. They string me along until they don't need me anymore."

"So you think of yourself as disposable because of that," Robin connected. "I get it."

"No, you don't."

"I think I do. You know how I became a wanted person as an eight-year-old? Well, I tried to find people who could help me. Every time, they tried turning me in to the Marines for the reward money. I learned quickly that I could not trust people. It's exhausting never letting your guard down."

Having been proved wrong, Aurilee kept quiet. Their situations were similar but not exactly the same.

Chopper perked up to add his two cents. "When I was born, my parents and my herd rejected me because I had a blue nose. Then, I ate the Human Human Fruit, and suddenly I didn't belong anywhere. The reindeer beat me, and the humans were so scared of me that they tried to kill me. But then I met Dr. Hiriluk. He took me in and gave me inspiration to become a doctor, too. When he died, Doctorine took me in and taught me everything I know. It was hard to trust people after everything I went through, but I promise, Aurilee, there are kind people in the world. This crew is a prime example of that. You got lucky when you ended up with us, because we all like you and consider you a friend."

"Luffy insisted we help you," Robin added. "He didn't have a reason for it, either. All he knew was you needed it, and that alone convinced him. We all know he'll get you home if it's the last thing he does."

Since they knew Luffy better than she did, she desired to believe it. He was always smiling and trying to have as much fun as he possibly could. There seemed to not be a malevolent bone in his body. Maybe that was because he was made of rubber, so his bones were squishy. Being made of rubber could also explain why he was an idiot; that rubbery brain of his could not conduct electrical signals between his neurons properly. But that simple-minded stupidity brought out his pure personality as a result. Since he came out as too genuine for his own good, it earned him an equally as genuine crew.

Nami did girly things with her like try clothes and makeup, but other times she would simply give Aurilee some paper to draw on while she worked on maps. Robin took time out of her day to teach her how to read and write properly; sometimes she even read her stories if her current book was entertaining enough. Usopp was glad to spend time with her since their shooting abilities was a shared hobby. Chopper was making himself a better doctor by taking responsibility for her pregnancy and challenging her mental health problems. Zoro was willing to sacrifice himself and put himself in harm's way if it ensured her safety. Sanji cooked all the delicious food she wanted, all with a smile and a longing to spend time with her. It was ridiculous for her to assume they would treat her the exact opposite at the end of their journey together.

"Can I ask who was the first to abandon you?" Chopper requested, getting off the log to sit on the ground in front of her. "It's obvious you were really hurt from it. Let's talk about it."

She sniffed and dried her cheeks. "I don't know. My Papa? He wasn't in my life for most of it."

"Okay. How did that make you feel?"

She had to think about it since it was so long ago. Back in the days when it was her and her Mama fending for themselves. She had to admit, their mother-daughter relationship was not the best during that time. Tayen was stressed out and tired, and Aurilee was a little bit difficult as most children could be. There was minor resentment between them until Paititi started acting as the buffer. "I remember seeing how other families in the tribe had a mother and a father, but I didn't," she started. "He only showed up finally when I was in danger, and I was scared I would never see him again, but he realized how much we needed him."

"Then your father was someone who came back into your life. That's good."

"But I still lost him…" The day she was kidnapped, her parents were actually very close to rescuing her. But right when Paititi reached for her, Calypso, the first mate at the time, gave him a shotgun blast to the face. The wound was extreme; blood was pouring, and half of his teeth were gone along with his right eye. That image was the last memory she had of her Papa. "I don't even know if he's still alive."

Chopper glanced at Robin. What was he supposed to say to that? As a doctor, he had to admit that the wound her father received sounded grave enough without medical treatment. They would only find out his fate when they got her home. If he did end up dying because of what happened to him, Aurilee could feel like she was once again abandoned.

"He promised to see you again," Robin reminded her. "I don't think he would give up on his only daughter that easily."

Paititi was someone who stayed dedicated to causes. When he realized what good his shapeshifting abilities did for the island by protecting it from outsiders, he faithfully lived in isolation to do just that. The tribe hating him out of fear did not sway him. He continued even when Aurilee was born, although he did keep a close eye on her from a distance still. It would make sense that his new mission would be getting her back, so death would be a huge inconvenience for him. She nodded in agreement to Robin's take after the consideration.

"Who abandoned you next?" Chopper asked.

That answer was more obvious. There were two people who outright turned their backs on her. What hurt the most, though, was that it was not out of cold blood. Gerald simply could not abandon his own flesh and blood despite Millie not being the one who got assaulted. Thinking about it got Aurilee sobbing all over again. She needed Gerald more than anyone that day. But he was not there.

"Gerald," she whimpered, trying not to crumple from the pain of the memory. "I was raped, and he left me." His blue nose twitched as he caught a whiff of a new scent in the area, but he kept his focus on Aurilee.

She was trying to keep it together, but visibly struggling. For the first time ever, she found herself growing angry about the choice made that day. Her fists balled up. "He was only allowed to leave with one of us. I was the hurt one, and he left me."

Robin watched as grief took her completely. She covered her face with her hand while the other one hugged her belly. Her shoulders and chest shuddered uncontrollably with a difficulty inhaling accompanying it.

"He left me behind," she pitifully recited as if it was hard for it to sink in. "I know why he did– a-and I don't blame him for it– but I can't believe he did."

Chopper stood up and transformed into heavy point so he could rest a furry hand on top of the one holding her belly. He wanted her to calm down so she could draw in proper breaths instead of the ragged ones that were making her shake. "It's okay," he comforted.

She sniffed deeply again, showing her leaking eyes enough so they could reflect against the moonlight. "I'm sorry," she uttered.

"No, don't be sorry. This is trauma, Aurilee. It's okay to cry about it."

Her gaze showed uncertainty, so he decided to clarify.

"Just because you weren't physically hurt doesn't mean it didn't leave a scar on you. I think we should process this memory specifically."

Nodding in understanding, she began the process of recollection while Chopper did the side-to-side movement to emulate REM sleep. Robin started brushing her hand in a left and right motion across Aurilee's upper back. Although she struggled with this particular event of her past, she still could not help but doubt if this was the entire reason why she was upset earlier today. It all seemed to start when she found her eavesdropping on Sanji.

Now that she thought about it, she swore she could smell his cigarette smoke every now and then. She just so happened to look toward the cabin to see someone had walked up the path. He stopped when he heard the crying. With the slim figure holding hands in his pockets, and a lit cigarette showing a burning butt, there was no denying who it was. His golden blonde hair appeared gray in lunar radiance. And he recognized Robin, too. The visible eye was widened with concern at the sound of Aurilee in emotional agony. It was very similar to the first day they met her, and she went into a panic attack.

When she was finished processing the memory of Gerald and Millie abandoning her, she suddenly got tired. Chopper kept her steady until her half-closed eyes opened fully again. Her mind felt lighter afterwards. Hopefully, she would not be as psyched out about feeling abandoned with little things. But for some reason, she still felt hurt.

Chopper sized back down when he saw she was doing better. But her facial expression still looked troubled. "Is there someone else who abandoned you?" he asked. If they had to process another memory, they could.

"I don't know," she answered forlornly. "It's stupid."

"It doesn't matter if it is or isn't. Your pain is still real and valid."

She straightened her back and tried to take a deep breath. Even if he was right, she felt like she was being overdramatic now. "Then…Sanji did."

Hearing his own name sent a chill up his spine.

"He promised he'd come back, but he never did." Her tears welled up again. "Now he might not come back to the crew at all."

Seeing that the cook was actually close by had Robin hopeful he would come over and show that he had returned like he said he would. But he just stood there.

"Why wouldn't Sanji come back?" Chopper questioned, a bit worried.

"Because…Because Jolene is perfect for him!" she exposed. "She gave him everything he wanted. Why would he come back when he could stay here and get married?"

Robin watched Sanji take a step forward, but he hesitated to proceed. They were in the middle of something important. If he interrupted, he felt like he would be impeding Aurilee's time of vulnerability. But at the same time, he wanted to prove that he did indeed come back. He wanted her to find relief from her fretting.

Her voice held frustration. "He had a choice between his future wife and me, just like how Gerald had a choice between his daughter and the one he adopted. All he did was remind me that I'm the second choice. He doesn't want me. Nobody wants me when I'm inconvenient and useless!" She held the sides of her face as her chest startled to convulse again with more sobbing. "W-What's the point in making a promise when you won't keep it? Just get it over with and tell me you don't like me so I don't have to feel this way! Stop pretending!"

Pretending? After all the effort he put in to show she was valuable and wanted, he hoped she would have had better self-esteem than this. Aurilee's improvement was viewed an unstoppable to him. Now he was realizing just how fragile she remained. His never-ending compliments and assurances meant nothing after he physically failed to reinforce them. The moment he stepped into Jolene's house, he blighted her trust in him. And now here she was crying about how much he upset her.

Everything she said about him was right. He did not choose her. He broke his promise. Realizing the gravity of his mistake, his teeth clenched, and he found himself fighting back tears. Her whole world was seemingly collapsing around her, and it was all his fault. One of his goals was to help her see that not all men had to be feared; she could rely on him and go to him for anything. Why would she do that after this? He vowed to never hurt a woman, but he hurt her. He broke her heart. Knowing that brought extreme guilt and shame to him.

Robin wanted to gasp when he lowered his head to weep. There was no need to join them to prove he returned. He was too late. The damage was done – all for a damn booty call. This was not the time to mend it. He turned around to slink back where he came from. Aurilee deserved better. She deserved the whole world, not a fool like him. The archaeologist was shocked when he disappeared back into the night without a sound. This was the perfect time for him to make it up to Aurilee, to prove he was not leaving her, but he decided it would be best for her never to know he was there to begin with.

"You think Sanji's leaving the crew because of a girl he just met?" Chopper wondered, trying to make sense of Aurilee's reasonings. "But…he can't find the All Blue if he stayed here."

Wiping her eyes and upper lip, she looked to him with confusion.

"Has he ever told you about it?"

She shook her head.

"Well, he's a cook, right? His biggest dream is to find where sea life from all the world's oceans resides together. Finding it would mean he could make all the tasty meals imaginable. That's why he joined the crew in the first place."

That was the first time Robin heard about Sanji's reason for joining. If it was true, then Aurilee's fears of him leaving for good were illogical.

"We all have goals we want to accomplish by being in the crew together. Luffy wants to be the Pirate King, Zoro wants to be the world's greatest swordsman, Nami wants to draw a map of the whole world, and I want to find a cure that can work on every disease in the world. Do you have a dream, Robin?"

"Why, yes I do," she answered, removing her hand from Aurilee's back. "I want to read all the available poneglyphs to uncover the Void Century. Being in Luffy's crew allows me to move around freely to accomplish that."

"See? Nobody's abandoning the crew. Not even Sanji. He'd be a huge idiot for letting a girl keep him away from the All Blue."

Well, now Aurilee felt very silly about this whole thing. But Chopper hopped up into her lap before she could say anything.

"And if he won't abandon the crew, then that means he definitely won't abandon you. And I won't abandon you either. Your babies need a doctor, after all."

His eyes were almost nonexistent in the darkness since they were big pupils, but she could still see the twinkle in them. Her arms wrapped around him to pull him into a hug. His entire front was squished against her belly, but he did not care. In fact, it was very warm and comfortable.

Robin smiled at the scene, but she quickly looked away to see Sanji was long gone. Perhaps they would see him in the morning. Whatever was meant to happen in the future, she just hoped he would have a one-on-one conversation with Aurilee. All was not lost, but he did overhear things he should not have heard in such a setting. Since he was kind and a ladies man, she was sure he would make it up to Aurilee somehow.