Chapter 49: Round Table

In which allies disagree, bonds are broken, friends fight, and darkness creeps ever closer.

"You don't get it, General!"

"What is there to get, Arc? She's a risk."

"I trust Pyrrha with my life!"

"Because she's worthy of the Spring maiden's power? Or because of how close she is to you?"

"Screw you! You're grooming Winter Schnee to be the next Winter…"

James braced himself for the inevitable allegation he'd heard so many times before. By this point, it was getting old.

"Is that because she's worthy, or because you two are such good friends?"

Apparently not. Perhaps Jaune Arc was more mature than the tabloids and online forums.

Ozpin piped up. "Also, I bet you're doing it with her."

James closed his eyes and bit his lips in frustration. "Thank you for that, Oz."

"I'm inclined to concur with Jaune," Oz continued. "Miss Nikos is the most suitable candidate for maidenhood. Each headmaster may select their host, and my choice is final."

James slammed his fist into the table, knocking over Ozpin's empty cup of coffee.

"If you could refrain from destroying my furniture, General, that would be most appreciated. This little beauty was carved from the finest Mistrilian–"

The table split in two.

"–birch."

"Bill Atlas. We can pay the cost. We'll all be paying for your mistakes when Lionheart hands the Spring maiden to Salem."

"Miss Nikos will not fall under Lionheart's control, or Salem's. I will see to it."

"Yes, Oz. I suppose that when her partner's mind ceases to exist, you will do so personally."

"It's not so simple–"

The elevator opened, and Winter Schnee and Penny Polendina filed in, both being pulled by the arm by Qrow Branwen. Schnee seemed so tense that Ironwood feared she might rupture a blood vessel.

Qrow was not smiling. Not his usual 'not smiling' resting-Qrow-face, though. This was an actually upset Qrow, as opposed to a run-of-the-mill grumpy Qrow.

Penny's eyes were glazed over.

Oz nodded at them. "Great, we're all finally here."

Jaune cocked his head. "Who's the specialist?"

"For your information, boy, I'm–"

"She's in trouble," finished Qrow. He released Penny's arm and pointed around the room. "Winter, the frigid bitch. James, the metal man. Oz, the magic ringleader. Jaune, the newbie knight. Penny, the toaster. There, now we all know each other."

"Wait! We're still missing one vital member," Ironwood added. All eyes turned to him. "Qrow, where's your flask?"

And people said he was humorless. Such a quip would no doubt ease the tension. Right now, the room felt more volatile than a Schnee Dust mine.

"Goin' cold turkey," answered Qrow, throwing Winter towards James.

"She can turn into a cold turkey?" asked Jaune, wide eyed as he stared at the specialist. "I guess that makes sense, given she's named Winter, and Oz loves wordplay. Could I be something snazzy like a flying squirrel, or is it just birds–"

A smack on the head from Qrow shut him up. "Don't know if you're being a smartass or a dumbass. I'm going cold turkey. I'm done with the drink, for good."

Specialist Schnee scoffed. "I'll believe that when I see it."

"I negotiated terms with a motherfucking raccoon, Ice Queen. You don't keep drinking after you've seen a rodent request parlay."

"PROCYON!" someone shouted loudly from across Beacon.

"CARNIVORAN!" someone shouted even more loudly from across Beacon.

"Can we please get back to the matter at hand?" James requested. "Now that all of us are here, we need to talk about the Spring maiden."

Knowledge of Salem was kept between a limited few to prevent panic. If Remnant found out that a literally unstoppable foe existed, anarchy would reign. Thus, Ozpin had told the full story to none but the four headmasters, not even the maidens themselves. Theodore refused to take part when he was brought into fold, and Lionheart was a traitor, so now only the General and Ozpin remained. James had once trusted a specialist team enough to confide in them the full story, and Ozpin let Team Stark know so that they could serve as his enforcers. Now, the only survivors of those two squads were Winter, Qrow, and Taiyang Xiao-Long, the last of which chose to hide like a craven on the isle of Patch. Pietro found out on his own after stumbling onto a classified document while upgrading the database's firewalls. The inventor had since then become invaluable in restricting the digital flow of information about Salem. The man had built Penny, hence the implicit trust placed in her. She was a good one (James always had an eye for the good ones), but she was untested beyond her experiences in Vale. The latest addition, Jaune Arc, showed promise but as of yet had zero time in the field.

Four hardened veterans, three cowardly deserters, two rookie children, and one brilliant scientist. That was all that stood between the kingdoms and utter annihilation.

Ozpin filled the silence. "I've decided on Miss Nikos, after all. I realize some may take exception to her candidacy, but know that the decision is not one I made lightly. I've already had Jaune approach her and ask her to meet with us."

Qrow frowned. "Can't say I'm all too happy about it, but I'll trust you on this one Oz. Just try not to schedule any reunions with her old friends from finishing school."

"I thought you were more opposed to the decision, Qrow."

"And I thought we had plenty of options, but it looks like Beacon itself's got some bad apples. Shook my faith a little. We trust Nikos, even if we don't trust her former headmaster. Salem may control Leo, but I can't see any way for him to influence the Invincible Girl from Mistral. And as long as we know he's a traitor, we have the advantage."

"Bad apples?" asked Jaune.

"Team Coffee was supposed to be the cream of the crop, but they fought dirty. I respect the hustle when it's life or death, but they were willing to cheat to score a trophy."

"Actually, Coco's team acted in such a way because I ordered them to," said Ozpin.

The room exploded.

"You what?!"

"Sir, that's not how the tournament–"

"Valean savages, the lot of you."

Jimmy, Jaune, and the cold turkey (credit where credit was due; that was much better than Ice Queen) shouted over one another all at once and demanded an explanation from the headmaster. Only robo-kid and Qrow stayed quiet. It wasn't out of loyalty to Oz; it was just that his withdrawal induced headache was intensified by the sudden noisiness, and he couldn't form a coherent thought, let alone enunciate it.

"You all know the stakes. Cinder has chosen to enroll in the tournament, so, logically, eliminating her will impede her efforts. Somehow. To prevent her team from prevailing, no sacrifice is too great."

Qrow crossed his arms. "Those kids will never be able to put this behind them. Team Coffee openly disgraced itself in front of the whole world. I called them out on it."

"And what were you thinking, Qrow? To suggest we hand victory over to Cinder! If I didn't know any better, I'd think Leonardo isn't the only one that was compromised."

"Oz…" he groaned.

"The rules, the tournament…how could you possibly think that matters more than everything we've done? Everything Summer died for?"

"If you order Beacon teams to publicly skirt the rules, it'll look suspicious. People will start to ask questions."

"Would that be such a bad thing, people asking questions after Team Caiman? Do we not want their actions to be brought into the spotlight and exposed? While you were gallivanting off to fight common Grimm with children, Jaune and I were keeping focused on the objective. Our collective effort over the course of days yielded nothing. We have no grounds on which to accuse or prosecute Cinder in court, so why not use the court of public opinion? If enough people realize that Team Caiman is composed of scoundrels and crooks, they will be forced to withdraw from the tournament."

"I can't believe this. We spent our lives trying to keep the world in the dark." Qrow looked around the room. "C'mon, James. This is bat Faunus shit crazy. Winter? Jaune?"

The blonde boy looked back and forth between his professor and his headmaster. "W-We did waste many valuable days trying to make a case against Cinder. Team Rainbow nearly died in Mountain Glen while we sat on our tushes."

"Kid, you can't be serious."

"I think it's time we take more aggressive action. I'm with Oz. No sacrifice too great."

"Coco Adel." Qrow pressed a finger into Jaune's chest, pushing him backwards lightly. "That was your sacrifice's name. She and her team are going to be pariahs, all because the headmaster used her as a pawn."

Arc shriveled at Qrow's words but did not recant.

"I agree with the sentiment that we must act, though I'd advise more honorable methods," Ironwood said. "I'd recommend we assemble our forces and arrest them before they advance further in the matches."

Qrow threw his hands into the air. "And how do we explain where a missing Mistrilian team went when they're called for the doubles? Aren't we supposed to be hiding this? We're not much of an illuminati if we just give up on secrecy and let the world know we're here."

They're all insane. Is sobriety always this stressful?

"I concur with the General," said Winter.

Of course she does. She didn't know how to think for herself, so whatever Jimmy said went. If he ordered her to reassemble the moon, she'd submit a requisition to the quartermaster for superglue.

Everyone has lost their minds.

Who else was there to turn to for aid? Jaune, the Atlas folks, Oz…

"You. Robot." Qrow shook the catatonic girl. "Penny. Wake up and help me explain why we can't just start a kingdomwide panic."

Winter placed a hand on the redhead's shoulder. "Penny is interfacing with the CCT to access its network and databases. She is here physically, but not mentally. In her absence, we must assume she would vote for the course of actions suggested by General Ir–"

"Fuck that!" Qrow took a deep breath and tried to keep himself from losing his shit. It wouldn't do for him to seem ruled by passion when he was the only one still applying logic to the situation. "Okay. Alright. Let's suppose, hypothetically, that we all agree and go with one of your plans. We try to get Cinder kicked outta the fights, or we arrest her. Do you think she's Salem's one and only pawn? Do you think that will even dent her numbers? We risk outing the maidens and Brother Gods and Grimm Queen to the world, all for a soldier that'll be replaced before Tuesday!"

Penny gasped so abruptly that Qrow and Winter, the two closest to her, both started. The little robot girl blinked a few times before shaking her head and addressing Ozpin and Jimmy.

"I concur with Professor Branwen," she said, slowly. Achingly slowly as though she were counting out each word. "Acting recklessly is far too great a risk."

Schnee's face was colder than Atlas. "You dare to disobey a direct order from the General, huntress?"

Her voice resumed its normal cadence. "No, Specialist. I simply wish to support the betterment of Remnant as a whole. We cannot move against Team Caiman openly, nor can we attempt to thwart them through underhanded methods or exposure."

Qrow swore to never think of her as 'tin can' or 'toaster' or any of the other shitty things he'd been calling her. Praying a silent thank you to the Brother Gods, he patted Penny on the back.

"Two vs. two vs. two. No majority and no plurality. We go with my plan, which is to not go with either of your plans."

"So we're doing nothing?" asked a displeased Jaune.

"No," answered Oz. "We shan't do nothing. The time has come for a new Spring maiden to rise, and for Fall to fall."

"The nerve of that woman! Assuming Blake was a valet. She was acting like a…like a…"

Like a Schnee. It wasn't pleasant to think, not with Weiss sitting right there, but it was true. Weiss had acted just like that when she'd first shown up at Beacon, assuming that the world revolved around her simply because of her heritage.

"Weiss, you sister was a real class act," continued Yang sarcastically. The blonde had been ripping into the elder Schnee since they'd sat down at the noodle bar, likely trying to score points with Blake. It wasn't as endearing as Yang thought it was.

"She never used to…I don't know why…"

"Don't know or don't care?"

Ruby smacked her sister. "Yang!"

"Hey, I'm just saying. Weiss has a penchant for being blissfully ignorant on these things."

Weiss stared into her noodles like they held the answer. "Maybe…? She never seemed callous when we were young, but I barely saw her after she joined the Atlesian military. Perhaps it changed her."

Yang wasn't so convinced. "Or perhaps you never noticed."

"Either way, I categorically condemn that kind of intolerant behavior."

"Try not to talk like you're giving a press release, Weiss-cream." Yang pointed her chopsticks at Blake as she slurped down a greasy bite of pure unhealth. "Your partner probably doesn't care for it."

"I'll…I'll try to have a talk with her later. Maybe I can get her to see what she did wrong and apologize."

Blake patted her back. "I appreciate the thought, but you're wasting your time. People like her don't change."

Weiss shrugged her shoulders. "I changed. Maybe Winter just needs–"

"Stop trying to make excuses for her! She insulted Blake!"

The rest of the patrons at the fast food stand quieted down and stepped away from Team Rainbow. Yang's noodles had flipped upside down from how aggressively she'd stood up.

"And Weiss."

"What?"

Ruby, who'd spoken, ushered some of her sister's meal back into the bowl before it spilled off the table onto the grass. "She may have dissed Blake, but she was particularly and especially rude to Weiss. She also was mean to me too, but I don't really care. Guess you don't, either."

Yang deflated slightly.

Ruby went on. "You're acting really mad at Weiss, sis, but she got the lion's share of the old Schnee charm today."

"Whuh– I– the way that frigid bitch talked–"

"It was her sister, Yang. If I got blamed for everything you did wrong, I'd be a wanted woman in four municipalities in Vacuo. Four, Yang!"

"Exactly," said Nora. "And if I had a lien for every time Renny took hush money from the mafia, I'd be flat broke. What are we talking about?"

Blake hadn't even noticed Team Castle and Team Adventure approach. As a ninja and master of all stealthy arts, she felt nothing but shame for her ignorance of their arrival.

"Weiss' cyborg mom is a dingledongle," Ruby explained. "She thought Blake was a valet because she was a Faunus."

Cardin snorted. "What the fuck is wrong with her? It's hard to believe that in this day and age, there are still the ignorant few who think that Beacon hires valets. Closeminded fools, the lot of them."

"Yeah, she didn't seem like much of a critical thinker to me either," Jaune remarked. "Uh, no offense, Weiss."

Weiss poked her chopsticks into her noodles glumly. Yang and Ruby conversed with the others, but Blake noticed her partner, a girl normally prepared to tell off Arc for the slightest thing, did not even seem to hear his jape at her sister.

"This is really bothering you, isn't it?" asked Blake.

"How can I trust anything? Father lied to me about the Faunus. Winter's being a…oh, I don't know, a Schnee. Hunters aren't all the heroes I perceived them to be. I don't know what's next. I'm so sheltered that I don't know what I should be asking. Is…Is…Is Atlas really a fair and just kingdom, or was that all propaganda? Did I earn my spot in Beacon, or am I just a self-important, entitled brat?"

"You earned it."

"Did I? I'm so weak that a Grimm had to save me during initiation. I was useless in Mountain Glenn. You and Yang stopped your bombs, and Ruby sealed the breach. All I did was lose to a White Fang grunt."

"And held off Adam Taurus until reinforcements arrived. That's not nothing, Weiss."

"I'm sorry about Winter. She behaved like a Boarbatusk. I've always looked up to her before, but you have my word that I'm going to tell her off."

"Thank you, Weiss."

"Provided I don't lose my nerves and my legs turn into…" Weiss plucked two dangling noodles out of her bowl and shook them. Blake snickered.

The loudspeaker crackled on. "Would Team Castle please report to the battlegrounds?"

"I was framed!" screamed Nora. "Malarky did it!"

"Like you were supposed to 5 minutes ago!"

The fight, if Glynda could even call it that, had been one sided from the start. The girls of Team Indigo were…capable, she supposed, but Team Castle was an unstoppable force. The four moved like one. Cardin and Nora would hold off their entire enemy team while Ren took opportunistic shorts from a distance to lower their aura. Sky hadn't even had to draw his weapon (likely trying not to reveal it to prevent enemies from preparing a strategy against it). All four of Vacuoan team were in the yellow, while none among her own students but Cardin had exited the green.

The arena matchup was not much in their favor, either. A lush jungle was not at all conducive to the use of their semblances. The girl who could skate on sand, Octavia, seemed to be quite lost. That tended to happen when a student based their entire skillset around their environment. In the desert dunes of Vacuo, she must've been quite mobile, but put her anywhere else and she was no more dangerous than a common Nevermore fledgling. Furthermore, the mountainous other half of the arena was quite similar to what Team Castle had fought in during their mission with Qrow. Talk about home team advantage…

Speaking of Qrow, something stunk about him. Not literally – she meant that his removal from the judges' booth was indeed suspicious. Well, also literally.

Ozpin had told her before the CVSL vs. NDGO match that Qrow had come down with a sudden case of acute drunkenness syndrome, informing her that she would have to take over. Glynda would've believed it if she hadn't met with Qrow when he came back from his mission against the mutated Grimm. She'd known Qrow since her days in Beacon, and she'd only seen him that shaken twice before. The first time had been back in the early days when he and Team Stark had debriefed after a failed mission to arrest some scorpion Faunus madman. The second time had been when Summer Rose had died.

Glynda was also keenly aware that Qrow had been dismissed after calling for the disqualification of a Beacon team.

Nonetheless, Ozpin had deemed Qrow unfit to judge and comment on the tournament, so Glynda had picked up the slack. Hyping up fights was not her forte, and she found herself having to hold back the normal comments she doled out about mistakes and advice on improvement. Having Port next to her was nice; he seemed to be in his element, exaggerating and blustering away like there no tomorrow.

"And so, young Miss Valkyrie lives up to her name and Valks them right in the Ries. Sadly, for all our Vacuoan fans, that's curtains for Nebula, leader of Team Indigo. For the rest of us, let's give our lads and the lady a round of applause!"

Glynda would've been disappointed that Castle was using brute force to win in a tournament that praised skill and strategy, but she supposed that brute force was in and of itself a strategy. When your weapons and muscles were more powerful than those of your opponents, there was no reason to needlessly complicate things. Perhaps Nora was saving her strategies for the later rounds when the weaker opponents had been weeded out. So far, only the first match had been a true clash of titans. Team Caiman's victory had been hard fought and well earned, but Team Rainbow had utterly steamrolled over their opponents. The only reason that their match against Team Corduroy of Atlas had lasted as long as it did was Weiss Schnee and Yang Xiao-Long's inability to work as a team. It sometimes seemed that those two were competing against one another as much as they were with the opponents. That was truly strange – the Rainbows had all been thick as thieves as the beginning of the year, after Schnee's brief bout of pyrophobia had been dealt with. What had changed? Perhaps Schnee had something to do with the loss of Xiao-Long's hair. The blonde seemed quite proud of her mane, and now it was shorter than Nora Valkyrie's. It even seemed to affect her semblance; Yang was unable to ignite her usual roaring fires, and this seemed to limit her ability to absorb and reflect punches.

All kingdoms but Vacuo had at least one team in the doubles. Flynt of Team Funky, Penny of Team Penny, and Sun of Team Social Security Number had also won their matches without any major struggle. A refined audience of hunters would've been bored with how obvious their victories had been, but the civilians in the crowd seemed content with the violence they'd gotten to behold.

Team Social Security Number had been an underdog victory. Since the death of Sun Wukong's partner (he whose name shall not be uttered), the Mistrilian team had been at a disadvantage. Many a bookkeeper had turned a tidy profit when they'd managed to emerge victorious against their opponents on Team Gilded. The randomized arena had worked to their favor. When the grassy plains and arctic tundra came up, Sage and Scarlet were able to rush May Zedong, the sniper, while Sun threw bananas at the other three. Without any cover or high ground, May had been entirely unable to last more than seconds. To add insult to injury, the other three had slipped on the banana peels and tripped out of bounds. Now that Team SSSN had made it to the doubles, their manpower disadvantage was gone.

Team Funky was an oddity, especially for the stern and strict military kingdom of Atlas. The presence of a cheerful Faunus and a whimsical trumpeter almost made Glynda think that James had sent them to combat the stereotypes about Atlas and its armed forces being racist and dispassionate, though those weren't the only accusations. Several accused General Ironwood of misconduct by sending a robot on a one person team to represent Atlas. Team Penny, as it was called, was very poorly received by fans from the other three kingdoms. James, like always, powered through it and ignored any and all complaints. Mettle…what a semblance.

"Splendid! Simply splendid! Team Castle outdoes itself and earns victory without losing a single member. I do wonder who they shall send to the doubles. With that, we find ourselves soon to bear witness to the final fight of the first round of the Vytal Festival Tournament. Team Adventure and Team Auburn, please report to the arena in one hour."

𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚

𝑜𝑏𝑗 𝑎1 == 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑(0)

𝑎1.𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒( ) = 𝑃𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑃𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑎

𝑎1.𝑎𝑔𝑒( ) = 2

𝑎1.𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒( ) = 𝑛𝑢𝑙𝑙

𝑎1.𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟( ) = 𝐽𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝐼𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑤𝑜𝑜𝑑

𝑜𝑏𝑗 𝑎2 == 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑(1)

𝑎2.𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒( ) = 𝑊𝑒𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑆𝑐ℎ𝑛𝑒𝑒

𝑎2.𝑎𝑔𝑒( ) = 17

𝑎2.𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒( ) = 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝐵𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎

𝑎2.𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟( ) = 𝑅𝑢𝑏𝑦 𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒

𝑜𝑏𝑗 𝑎3 == 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑(2)

𝑎3.𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒( ) = 𝐵𝑙𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝐵𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑎

𝑎3.𝑎𝑔𝑒( ) = 17

𝑎3.𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒( ) = 𝑊𝑒𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑆𝑐ℎ𝑛𝑒𝑒

𝑎3.𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟( ) = 𝑅𝑢𝑏𝑦 𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒

𝑜𝑏𝑗 𝑡𝑜𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 == 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑("𝑃𝑒𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑃𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑎", 2, 𝑛𝑢𝑙𝑙, "𝑄𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑆𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑚")

𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑(0, 𝑡𝑜𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟)

𝑜𝑏𝑗 𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒 == 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑("𝐸𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑑 𝑆𝑢𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑖", 19, "𝐶𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝐹𝑎𝑙𝑙", "𝑄𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑆𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑚")

𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚.𝑎𝑑𝑑𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑(2, 𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒)

Omake

Sun: *in a dark alleyway* Did you do it?

Ozpin: Yep. The 'randomized' arena will give your team the advantage in the singles, allowing you to proceed to the doubles against Team Caiman. Now, have you managed to procure the 'object?'

Sun: *reaches into backpack* Got it right here. Cinder Fall's only weakness.

Ozpin: *amazed* Bottled water…

Next Chapter: The Invincible Girl – In which Team Adventure finally gets the answers they seek, but the truth is never satisfying.

Author's Notes

I'm proud to have continued the long, time-honored tradition of having James Ironwood hate tables.

Sure is a shame Dr. Watts' virus was uploaded into the CCT, into which Penny was interfacing for the majority of this and last chapter. Such a doggone dadgum goshdarned dagnabbit shame. If reading code (based on my crude recollection of Java) is challenging or confusing for you, here's the basic gist of what the last section before the omake means: we're fucked.

The summary was changed on both sites to make it slightly more sensible for new readers. Now that we're at the point where things actually make sense and there are fewer spoilers, we can go ahead and skip with the mysterious questions and actually say what this fic is about. The original summary is still stored in the first chapter. I also added a new logo on ffn net.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!