Chapter 4 - Awakening

Author's Note: In which Qui-Gon wakes up. :)

~ Amina Gila

Obi-Wan senses it before it happens, of course. Qui-Gon has been unconscious almost straight for several months now, and it should be time for him to finally awaken. He should have a while ago, actually, except for some reason, he hasn't. His injury shouldn't have been that bad, or maybe it's just that Obi-Wan is accustomed to his master being... almost indestructible.

His comm beeps, and he answers it, suppressing his frustration. It's the middle of the night, and he really wants to sleep, but that's clearly not an option. Though he has the inkling he knows what's happening.

"Obi-Wan," Bant's voice crackles through, "You'd want to know. He's awake."

"Master Qui-Gon?" he asks, jolting upright. His master has awoken a few times, but he was never in any condition to speak. He was never lucid, like he must be now.

"Yes. He was asking about you."

"I'm coming," Obi-Wan says, and takes off. He's wanted nothing more than to talk to his master again, and he can hardly believe it's finally, finally happening. This chance he had morbidly questioned being lost since Naboo and Maul happened. Either way, everything has changed.

It takes way too long to get there. He needs to go all the way to the other side of the Temple, so it's no wonder it takes as long as it does, but he still doesn't appreciate it.

"He's still awake," Bant tells him when he finally arrives, "He's been waiting to see you."

Obi-Wan moves past her without bothering to respond. It's only when he enters that he realizes he has no idea what to say. It's been a very, very long time since they talked. A lot has happened since Naboo, and Qui-Gon wasn't there to see any of it. At first, Obi-Wan had tried to keep track of what he wanted to tell his master, but over time, he started forgetting, and now, it's been so long.

Long enough that he has no idea where to start.

"Master," he says, hesitantly.

"Obi-Wan," he replies. He's sitting now, though he looks tired. At least he's conscious. Alive. "How have you been? Bant told me it's been a while."

"I was Knighted," he answers, "Anakin is my padawan, like you asked."

"I must thank you for training him," Qui-Gon says after a few moments, "I know it would be hard for him to learn the ways of the Jedi, but he is the Chosen One."

"I know," Obi-Wan tells him, and he... does. He believes in it because his master does, though he's not entirely certain what that will mean. He's not quite sure what that makes him, either.

"I could feel the Force destined you to be together," Qui-Gon continues, "Even if I did not understand it at the time."

"I met your master," Obi-Wan blurts out, trying to find something to say. Something that's not about Anakin. For all that he cares for his padawan, he does not appreciate the way every single thing in his life has so quickly become about Anakin. It's strange and wrong.

Surprise flashes across Qui-Gon's face. "Did you?"

"He is, perhaps, a bit more... rogue than you made him out to be," Obi-Wan says dryly, "Though now, I can understand why you are always like this."

"My master's desire to work for the greater good would occasionally blind him in the moment," Qui-Gon says, "I know the same is true for you. He controls it well, but I did not want you to face the same struggle."

Obi-Wan had noticed that, though he hadn't put much thought into it. "You must know I would never lose sight of our way," he argues, a tiny bit stung.

"Neither would he," his master objects, "And yet, there were times when the suffering of those around him became his own, and he took matters into his own hands. He would never lose sight of the end goal, of serving people."

This... actually explains a lot about his former master, and Obi-Wan finds himself idly wondering why Dooku ended up like he did. Not that it matters. Breaking the Code will always be such, no matter what the reason. "I have spoken with him several times. He appears to be better equipped at handling Anakin than I am."

"He has already trained two padawans," Qui-Gon reminds, "I imagine his experience would be a benefit."

"He's been visiting on occasion," Obi-Wan adds, "I imagine he would want to see you." A strange amount of guilt is burning inside him. He should have protected his master. He doesn't know how he could protect a padawan if he couldn't protect his own master. And Anakin is a mere child. He doesn't know how to defend himself yet.

"I would like to see him again, too," Qui-Gon agrees.

**w**

Anakin's heart is pounding as he makes his way through the halls. Obi-Wan told him this morning that Qui-Gon woke up last night, and he had to squeeze time in to come. He's always busy, trying to catch up and learn. Being a Jedi is hard, just like Qui-Gon warned him of. He wasn't prepared for everything that came with it.

But none of that matters if Qui-Gon at least is back. Anakin had feared since Naboo that he'd never be able to talk to the Jedi Master again. Right after losing his mother, after everything that happened, almost nothing could be more relieving than that.

"Anakin," Qui-Gon greets.

He's heard that voice in his dreams, but it's so, so different to hear it again for real.

"Master," Anakin replies, feeling suddenly speechless. There's so much he could say to Qui-Gon, but it's been so long. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," he promises, "You have nothing to concern yourself with."

Anakin isn't entirely certain he believes that, but he nods anyway, because Qui-Gon said so and... he wouldn't lie. That doesn't make his worry go away, or the fear that's been devouring him for a long time that he might not see the Jedi Master again. This is the person who gave him and his brother a chance at living, who took them out of the nightmare they were living in on Tatooine. "Okay," he says, nodding.

"Obi-Wan briefly mentioned you were struggling to open yourself to the Force," he says.

"Jacen used it when he was little," Anakin admits, "Mom told me to watch him. We couldn't use it in front of anyone. She told us if someone knew, we'd be separated. I think I shut myself off. He can't use it well either." It's such a stupid reason, really, because he's at the Jedi Temple now, and he should be safe here. He has nothing to worry about. No need to fear that he'll be hurt for doing what they tell him to do. Only if he doesn't, and that he's struggling to do that so much feels like a failure. He can't fail. If he does, they might get rid of him or send him back to Tatooine and then, he'll never be able to see Jacen again, and he won't be able to help anyone. He definitely won't be able to free his mother.

"It will take time to work past it," Qui-Gon says, "One of the greatest struggles of being a Jedi is letting go of our greatest fears."

"I... know," Anakin replies. Obi-Wan has told him the same, and it's a lot more difficult than it sounds.

But in the end, he can only be glad that Qui-Gon is here and alive. He spent so long fearing that he would lose him forever, but finally, they know he's going to be alright.

**w**

Anakin hasn't known Dooku for very long. They've hardly interacted, but somehow, the former Jedi Master seems to understand him in a way no one else does. He apparently trained another apprentice who was much like Anakin, though Anakin has yet to meet him. Except now that Qui-Gon is awake again, Dooku is, apparently, intending to leave to his home planet of Serenno where he has other important political matters to attend to.

It's such a minor thing, but Anakin somehow feels a smothering disappointment. "I will return from time to time," Dooku tells them. They're all here now, Dooku, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Anakin, though Anakin thinks Obi-Wan is the only one who isn't much affected.

"Thank you for staying when you could, Master," Qui-Gon tells him. "You helped Obi-Wan when I could not."

"Of course," Dooku replies, "I will take my leave now. I cannot imagine most find my company pleasant."

Anakin does not understand what's going on with Dooku and the Jedi, but it seems like he had a disagreement with the Council about something and somehow found that worth leaving the Order for. Why someone would ever leave the Order is something else Anakin can't understand. It's all he's ever wanted. But despite that, the former Jedi Master doesn't seem different than everyone else. Anakin certainly finds him nicer, at least. Most people act as though Anakin doesn't belong here. Dooku is one of the very few who never shows that attitude.

"I understand," Qui-Gon assures him.

"I imagine I will return to Coruscant from time to time," he adds, "I trust you will proceed with handling Sith with more care in the future."

"I find it quite unlikely that we will encounter another Sith in the near future," Obi-Wan objects.

"Everything is lining up," Dooku warns, "The growing darkness, the return of the Sith, the finding of the Chosen One."

Anakin twitches at the mention of the Chosen One again. He hates thinking about it. There's nothing special about him, and he doesn't want to be anything other than normal. He wants to fit in, but no matter how hard he tries, it's not possible. Dooku told him already that it's not going to happen, but he loathes feeling so far apart from everyone else all the time.

"It will be as the Force wills it," Qui-Gon replies.

"Of course," Dooku answers, "Take care."

"As always," his former padawan murmurs.

Almost unthinking, Anakin darts forwards, wrapping his arms around him. He knows hugging isn't exactly normal Jedi behavior, but he acted on sheer impulse right now, and he doesn't know when he's going to see Dooku again. Besides, Dooku isn't a Jedi anymore.

He returns it lightly, then pulls back. Anakin catches sight of Obi-Wan eyeing them as Dooku starts heading out.

This isn't the first time he feels a strange prickle of... something in Dooku's presence. "Are you alright?" he can't help asking. It feels like a stupid question, but he can't ignore the sudden worry he feels.

There's a strange sense of knowing in Dooku's brown eyes, but he doesn't explain. Anakin thinks he's surprised, for some reason. "Of course." Somehow, he doesn't think that's the truth.

"May the Force be with you," Qui-Gon calls after his master.

"And with you," he replies, before disappearing down the hall.

Anakin is certain it'll be awhile before he comes back, though this won't be permanent. But... suddenly, there's something else nagging at him that he doesn't understand. "I think he's upset about something," he blurts out.

"Dooku's methods were... unorthodox, even if they worked," Qui-Gon explains, "The Council did not approve of his behavior. He foresaw a coming darkness that many of us did not believe in."

"We cannot predict the future," Obi-Wan adds, "Master Yoda says it's always in motion."

Somehow, none of that sounds right. "I heard he left the Order for it, but I think it's something else. Something more... important?" He can't even say how he knows. It's not like he knows what Dooku used to be like. Anakin hardly knows him, but he has always been good at reading his surroundings. He had to be. He had to know who to keep an eye on in Watto's shop, had to know who he'd have to suspect of stealing or double-crossing. He just didn't realize how much he used the Force subconsciously back then. He couldn't use his eyes. People could look dangerous, but it didn't always mean they were, and often, they... looked harmless, but were not.

He still struggles with it now, as does Jacen, but some things come automatically, like sensing other's emotions.

"That doesn't make sense," Obi-Wan replies, "Dooku was well-respected, but his methods were always frowned on by the Jedi. He decided to choose a different path, but he is still welcome here."

"Not all may see it that way," Qui-Gon points out, "Most Jedi who leave are considered fallen from their way. They're often seen as traitors or as being disloyal."

"But Dooku's not, is he?" Anakin asks, frowning. He shouldn't be so nice if that were true. Besides, he doesn't know how a Jedi ever could fall. How could anyone? It's simple enough. His mother taught him to give, to help everyone in need when he could, and he can't imagine anyone living any other way.

But none of this answers why he has the strange inkling that something is wrong. Anakin can't even understand what that could be – perhaps that they were talking about the future? Because Anakin knows something will – is – happening. He doesn't know how. It's a sort of instinct, burning in the back of his mind, a knowledge that whatever it is everyone is looking to, it will happen in this generation. In his lifetime.

What that means, he has no idea.

"Did something happen to him?" Anakin asks, unable to shake the question from mind. This is important, and it's very, very disturbing to see a Jedi Master – former-Jedi Master, technically – hurting over something.

"Not that we know of," Qui-Gon replies, "I have doubt he would have told us, even if there was."

That doesn't make sense. "How are we supposed to help if we don't know what's wrong?" he inquires.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon exchange glances. "Letting go of personal needs is an important part of being a Jedi," Obi-Wan reminds him.

"I don't think this was personal," Anakin objects quietly.

"Then it will show itself in time," Qui-Gon reminds.

"Discussing it won't bring us answers," Obi-Wan cuts in finally, "We should go."

Anakin doesn't really want to. He wants to follow Dooku and demand answers, because he somehow knows this is important, and that it would help if they knew, or maybe it's just that he wants to help somehow.

Either way, he finds himself feeling a strange... heaviness the rest of the day, one he's not entirely certain is his own.

**w**

It's been a long time since they came here now, and Jacen is finally finding things a little easier. He still wakes up sometimes in the night, scared of being there all alone, but he's learning how to deal with it. He has to, because apparently, he's not allowed to... snuggle with anyone at night.

He still thinks that is very unfair, but at least most of the other rules are starting to make more sense. Except the one about not being able to go to where Anakin is.

It's worse now that Anakin goes on missions, so he sometimes doesn't see him for days at a time. He hates that part of it.

Except this time, Anakin comes early, and he's not alone.

Qui-Gon is with him.

Jacen's eyes widen in shock, and he runs over to them. "Mastah Kwee! You're here!"

"Anakin mentioned you would like to see me once you could," Qui-Gon replies, crouching on the floor in front of him.

"Yes!" He's practically bouncing up and down with excitement. He had no idea he would see Qui-Gon anytime soon, but he's here. He's the first person other than Anakin that Jacen's even seen from... before he came to the Temple. "They said a bad Sith hurt you."

"I was injured in the battle," Qui-Gon replies.

"It was a long time," Jacen says, "Where were you so long?"

"It took much time to recover. But I am out of the healer's wing."

"Are you okay now?"

Qui-Gon smiles warmly at that, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I am."

"You be here now?" Jacen asks hopefully.

"I will be... around the Temple, from time to time. Not here," he responds.

He can't quite help his pout. "Why not?" He doesn't like any of the other masters nearly as much. None of them have ever shown him the kind of attention Qui-Gon did.

"My duties do not involve teaching the younglings," he explains gently.

If everything is what Jedi need to do, Jacen doesn't see why who is where matters so much. "What do you do then?"

"Much of the time I am gone on missions, to help people."

He knows that's a good thing, but it doesn't stop his disappointment. "I want to do that too!"

"That is what you are studying to do."

"I don't want to wait," Jacen protests.

"A Jedi must be patient," Qui-Gon reminds, "And you still have much to learn first." Why is he smiling again? There's nothing happy about this. It's annoying. He always has to wait for everything. That was true on Tatooine, too, so he's used to it, but it was easier when his mother was there. At least what she said made sense. This entire life is weird.

"I want you to teach me," he insists.

Qui-Gon looks almost contemplative for a moment. "Perhaps when you are older," he replies, "You will have a specific master for your training once you become a padawan."

"Like Ani does?" He thinks having a master who only gives attention to him sounds scary. Anakin says Obi-Wan is nice, though, and of course, Qui-Gon is too. And the masters here aren't like on Tatooine.

"Yes. We can... consider this when you are older, if that is what you really want."

"You could train Jacen?" Anakin asks, speaking up for the first time.

"I can," Qui-Gon confirms, "I no longer have a padawan, and I will not be taking another any time in the near future."

Jacen squeals eagerly, streaking forwards and wrapping his tiny arms around him. Qui-Gon returns it. Now, if only Jacen could find a way to convince everyone that this isn't bad or weird or whatever.

**w**

The more time passes, the less Ahsoka misses the trees and grass of her home planet. She still remembers it clearly, but it was so long ago. And she's used to being here now. Though she does occasionally miss having things like that to climb.

Because apparently, Jacen doesn't even know how to climb a tree, and she really wants to show him as soon as they're able to again. There are trees in some places, but not in places Initiates at this age are supposed to be going.

"I show you someday!" Ahsoka insists, as they sit in class together again.

"And we build sand monsters together," Jacen agrees eagerly. He's definitely her best friend here, even if everyone knows everybody here.

She's not happy when they're promptly interrupted, being called into class again. And they can't talk about the sand monsters they want to build when they're in class. That's not allowed, and Jacen never does anything that's not allowed for some reason. Not that she doesn't know it's bad, too, but still. "We can't make them mad," he'd explained, wide-eyed.

"Jedi don't get mad," she'd pointed out.

"But masters do," he'd argued. "They can hit or do bad things when they get mad."

"Jedi good! They never do bad things."She... really doesn't understand why he always seems so worried about that, even if it's getting a little better with time.

Ahsoka is still surprised, though, when there's a new teacher here today. It's Master Yaddle – who apparently resigned from the Jedi Council for some reason – and her presence here instantly makes Ahsoka start asking questions about her and Yoda's very, very strange species.

"Why don't you talk funny?" Ahsoka asks. It's nice having another teacher who's as big as them. Master Yoda doesn't usually teach the younglings who are this little, apparently. (She is not little, by the way.)

Yaddle looks almost amused. "Master Yoda is... different."

"You look the same," Jacen objects, "But your hair."

"We are the same species," Yaddle replies, "But on our own home planet, Basic is not our first language. Master Yoda was... trained later, and he learned Basic later. He never spoke normally afterwards. I was taken to the Temple young, so I have spoken Basic as long as I remember."

"Later?" Jacen repeats, "But he said Ani was too old! How can he have been taken later, too?"

"Our species ages differently, and it was one of our own species who trained him," Yaddle responds.

"Where you live?" Ahsoka asks, curiously. She's heard all sorts of whispers among the younglings about it, but everyone has their own story. So does she. Yaddle should know for real, though.

"A planet far away," Yaddle answers mysteriously, "It had some similarities with Shili."

"Really?" Ahsoka asks.

Jacen perks up. "With trees?"

"Yes. There are many trees there, from what I have heard. I do not remember it myself."

"I wanna climb one," Jacen insists.

"That will be a part of your training later," Yaddle assures, "But for now, you have other lessons to attend."

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