Warning for stupid behavior, implied suicidal tendencies, and all trigger warnings that accompany Ace's low self-opinion of himself.
XXX
Sabo was sitting beside Luffy now, talking to him softly.
Ace knew whatever was wrong Sabo could handle it, besides he had something to do- something he really didn't want to do. The Whitebeards were waiting for him. The five of them were standing near the hallway, all of them were watching, or more specifically they were watching Ace.
He owed them an explanation; he knew that. But right now, he would rather take his chances with the marines. Ace had never been all that good at sharing personal stuff. He had lived his entire life with the knowledge that if he did tell someone the truth, about his heritage, then it wouldn't end well for him. As a kid, he had grown up hearing criminals brag about the things they would do to Roger's kid if they got the chance. Most of it was the drunken ramblings of men eager to prove themselves by dissing the ghost of a long-dead criminal. No matter what it was or who said it Ace had never forgotten the things he heard, especially the more creative ideas.
He didn't know how someone would react if they knew the truth about him. Aside from his ragtag family that is. There was no telling how other people would take it. This would all be so much easier if it were people he didn't know. But these were his crewmates… well ex- crewmates. Ace had to constantly remind himself of the ex.
He would have told them the truth eventually. Before all of this started he had begun to seriously think about telling Whitebeard. He figured that his new captain should at least know the type of person he had accepted onto his ship. The fear of getting kicked off his new crew's ship had made him hold off. In fact, he had held off just long enough to stick around for Teach's betrayal and the kidnapping of Thatch and Luffy. After that all plans of telling his captain what he was got sidelined in favor of saving the two of them.
Some days it felt like no matter what decision Ace made it was always the wrong one. He really was an idiot. An idiot that had ruined everything.
He met Marco's eyes. They were very blue, as always. But there was no hatred there, not yet anyway. Taking strength in that Ace moved towards them, his feet heavy beneath them.
He was cursed, wasn't he? There was some ancient darkness in his blood and brought everyone around him misfortune.
He remembered that time back when he was very young. Sabo had held his hand with his own, their blood mixing together. He had promised that Ace's blood wasn't poison and at the time Ace had believed him. But now… with all the bad that had happened to everyone- it was all misfortune Ace and his cursed blood-lined had brought to his friends and family.
Ace stopped in front of them, his hand gripping the strap of his bag so hard his knuckles were turning white. He had hardly let the bag out of his sight since arriving at the base out of fear it would be taken. After all Luffy's hat was in here and there had to be a limit as to how many times Ace could fail Luffy. He had meant to give it back but he hadn't gotten the chance yet.
"Ace," Thatch's voice was soft and Ace turned to look at him. The man was leaning against the wall wearily. The worst of his injuries had been bandaged but he still looked terrible, although still better than Luffy. He was pale and covered in a fine layer of grime from the cells. Ace didn't miss the way he leaned against the wall behind him for support. As if he would tumble over without it.
"Are you okay?" Thatch asked after a moment.
Thatch was worried about him. So was Luffy. They had asked if he was okay. Like Ace was the one who was hurt by all of this, like he was somehow the victim here. How messed up could this get?
A bubble of laughter erupted from Ace's throat and escaped out his mouth before he could stop it. The sound of it echoed off the walls of the tiny space. The pirates before him looked at him like he was crazy. He felt crazy.
"Why Do You Think This Is Funny?" Jozu asked the anger clear in his voice. The anger he was entitled to. Ace understood how much the man must hate him, the others two even if they were better at hiding it.
There was once a time when the Whitebeard crew could give each other the benefit of the doubt. When they could trust that each one of them had the other's best interest at heart. But that was before Teach, and now before Ace. To gain Blackbeard's trust and goodwill Ace had done everything he could to break their trust in him because if the Whitebeards no longer trusted him then Blackbeard would think he won. It was the only way to protect Luffy. So Ace had done his best to gather the hatred of his Ex- crew.
He had expected them to despise him. He had worked hard to ensure it. So none of this should come as a surprise. And the way Jozu was looking at him right now, it shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.
He was looking at Ace like those drunken pirates used to do whenever they were describing Roger and his possible heirs.
In the past Ace used to fight back. He would beat those men up if he could, or get beaten himself when they overpowered or outnumbered him. There was a time when he actually wanted to prove them wrong, make them regret that. Because he thought that he might make something of himself in the future.
-How wrong had he been.
There was no point defending himself anymore. Not when they had been right about him all along.
"Ace?" Marco's voice was soft, cracking the silence that had overtaken them. "It's okay, just tell them what's going on alright?" There was no hatred on his face, just understanding.
Ace bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't want Marco's sympathy. He hadn't wanted Thatch's and he sure as hell didn't want Luffy's. He didn't want their hatred either, but he knew deep down that was what he deserved.
He looked back at Jozu, meeting his eyes. "Your right." He told him. "Your right about everything!"
Jozu clenched his fists in anger but Izo put a hand on the man's muscular shoulder. "Right about what Ace?"
"What I did," Ace told them, digging his fingernails into his palms as hard as he could. "I helped Teach. I knew he wanted to destroy you guys and I helped him anyways." Once he started it was easier to get the words out. "I tried to kill Marco-"
Jozu yelled in rage but Ace didn't stop. "When I realized I wouldn't be able to do it on my own I got Sabo to help me. I knew he would do whatever I wanted because I promised him, we would save Luffy… even though I didn't know if that was possible."
"Oh, for the love of-." Ace heard Marco groan in annoyance, but he kept going determined to get it all out-to make them hate him.
"Then I attempted to kill Marco, kidnapped him, and lied about it to all of you so you would still trust me."
"Watch it!" Jozu warned him.
Ace narrowed his eyes, meeting the heated gaze with his deadly cold one. "-And then when you let your guard down I poisoned Whitebeard."
That was the final straw as Jozu lunged towards him. Ace held his ground, shutting his eyes tightly for the inevitable impact. Before the furious pirate could make it more than a few steps Thatch pulled him back. The man's grip wasn't strong by any means but J did stop, respecting his injured friend's wishes. Although he was still fuming.
"I Can't Believe You!" The large man yelled across the small space. "How Could You?"
Ace met his hate-filled gaze evenly and told the first full lie of the night.
"It was easy."
Jozu tried to get to him again but Thatch's hand was insistent. "Don't," He warned his friend gently as he tightened the hand on his shirt.
The two pirates who stood beside him looked more confused than anything else, and Marco was rubbing his temple like he had a headache forming. "Seriously Ace!" His soft words were mostly overshadowed by the yells.
"Let's use our inside voices!" Sabo called to them from across the room momentarily interrupting the brewing tension. Despite his words, Ace could see the tightness of his brother's face. Their argument was getting too serious for Sabo's liking.
"And who the hell even are You?" Jozu asked him.
"If we're too loud the marines are going to come running," Sabo replied, meeting Ace's warning look head-on and stopping whatever snide comment he was no doubt about to say.
"He's right," Marco agreed and Jozu didn't argue with him, although it looked like he wanted to. Instead, he gave one last curious look to Sabo and Luffy.
"They have nothing to do with this," Ace told him softly. "I swear, everything was me."
Marco sighed, annoyed by his confession. "Ace you're not smart enough to have done all of this by yourself… Or to manipulate Sabo."
"Well, I got smarter then," Ace said through clenched teeth.
"And suddenly sociopathic?"
"Not suddenly," Ace growled.
Marco groaned again, raking his hand through his hair in agitation. "Why does everything have to be so hard with you?"
Ace just shrugged.
Haruta, as subtly as he could manage, leaned over to Izo beside him. "I am so confused."
"Okay," Marco said cutting across the circle to grab Ace's arm, pulling him away from the others. "Give us a second."
When they were out of earshot Ace shrugged out of his grip, taking a step back, and then another for safety. Marco was either too annoyed to notice or he was just ignoring it in favor of the bigger issue.
"What Are You Trying To Do?" Marco asked him. "You know how Jozu gets when it comes to protecting Pops and his family. Do you want to fight him again?"
"No," Ace crossed his arms, looking over his shoulder. Sabo was still sitting with Luffy, his arms tightly around him.
Marco sighed for the millionth time that night, although softer this time as he closed the distance between them, reaching up to Ace's jaw to gently turn his attention back to him.
"Look, I know you're really going through something right now. I can't imagine how hard-,"
"No!" Ace told him. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Make this about me," Ace told him. Why the hell did everyone keep doing that right now? Ask if he was okay. Of course, he was. He wasn't the one who had gotten stabbed and kidnapped like Thatch, or tortured like Luffy, or betrayed by someone who you were trying to help like Marco. He was not the one who deserved pity, or friendship, or empathy. He was the last person who should get that. That was the point he had been trying to prove, and somehow Marco had ended up feeling even sorrier for him. Ace didn't want to be pitied, he wanted to be despised. He deserved to be hated.
"Like it or not this is about you," Marco told him. "Teach went after the Whitebeards but he also went after you. It's your secrets he's trading away to the marines, you're the one who he blackmailed, and you're the only one whose little brother got stolen. So yes! This is about you and your family. And yes, people are going to feel bad for you, because there is no way that you are okay with any of this. They keep asking you that because you're not acting like your all right, your acting like someone who is so upset that he's trying to convince everyone he's some evil genius."
Ace bit his cheek onece more, digging further into the intent he made as he turned his smoldering expression to the floor. "You're wrong."
"Am I?" Marco actually laughed, a joyless sound. "What is it that you want Ace? Do you want the blame for all of this? Fine. The fact that we are in this situation is on you, Teach betraying us, yeah that's also on you, Luffy getting kidnaped, that's all you, you make the sunset and bring the rain? Are you happy now? I don't have time to hate you for everything that goes wrong in the world! Not even if it would make you feel better."
Silence fell between them.
Marco sighed, unclenching his own fists. "I'm sorry," He said after a long moment in which Ace had yet to look up from the floor. "I am sorry I have to get you to do this right now and I'm also sorry I can't unpack all of the crazy, suicidal stuff you've done lately. Especially when me, and Thatch, and Pops, and basically everyone, has spent the last few months trying to make you understand that you're not this horrible, disposable, person."
Marco waited a moment for Ace to interject but he remained silent.
"Come on Ace," Marco told him. "We aren't on opposite sides anymore. You have to trust us. I want to hear it from you, not Teach. I know it's not fair to ask after everything Teach put you through, but you need to tell us the truth."
"I did," Ace said.
"Trying to get Jozu to attack you in some misguided self-punishment tactic that delays the moment when you finally have to tell us about yourself."
Ace looked up sharply and Marco met his pale face with a gentle smile. "I pay attention," he told him. "Now come on, it's not going to be as bad as you think. Besides letting Jozu attack you because you refuse to tell him what's actually going on isn't going to make anyone happy in the long run." Marco gestured back to the group where the four of them were waiting but Ace didn't move.
Plan B then. "Or I could go ask Sabo to explain everything," Marco looked over to where Sabo was sitting. The blond was watching the door, Luffy had fallen asleep in his arms. "I think that would wake up Luffy and he needs his sleep… your choice."
"Now who's the sociopath?"
Marco smiled at that. "I'm on your side Ace, I've always been. Now come on already!"
Ace sighed in reluctant defeat, as he followed Marco back to the tiny group.
"This doesn't mean I'm ignoring any of the insane stuff you did in the last two days," Marco told him. "Just one problem at a time."
Ace really didn't want to sit through another one of Marco's self-worth speeches. But then again, he didn't want to do any of this. He understood why Marco was worried about him… and also why he was scaring Sabo… and apparently even Luffy. But the last thing he wanted was for people to try and help him. Well, the second last thing- the actual last thing was to be in this situation.
The other's looked up as the two came over. Jozu seemed to have calmed down considerably and all four of them had transitioned to sitting on the cold stone floor.
"Is everything okay?" Thatch asked.
"Yeah- " Marco began only to stop mid-sentence. His gaze went straight to the corner of the cold stone room.
"Marco?"
The man's eyes narrowed as he held up a hand to get them to wait. When the moment passed, and the next one, Haruta finally spoke up.
"What's wrong?"
Marco looked back at them and then the corner. "Nothing," he said after a second. "Sorry I thought I felt…I need some sleep. This place is starting to creep me out."
"It's awful down here," Izo agreed. "I can't wait to leave."
"You poor things," Thatch told them. "Trapped here for two whole days. What a nightmare."
Despite himself, Marco smiled. "Sorry."
"Not for nothing guys," Haruta said. "But there is literally nothing to do down here but talk to each other and I am so lost at this point."
"It's fine," Marco said looking to Jozu next. "You good?"
"Yeah," The big man was leaning back against the wall, looking tense but considerably less angry than he had been. "Izo filled me in."
"On what?"
"Well… nothing really, after all the lies and crazy rumors going around, I figured I would just wait for you guys to tell me what was actually happening. And then I can decide if I still want to kill someone."
"Trust me, you're still going to want to kill someone," Thatch muttered.
"Just tell me one thing Ace," Jozu continued his dark eyes finding Ace's and holding them. "Did you really help Teach and do all of those things you said?"
"Yes." Ace told him without missing a beat. "Everything."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
Marco sighed for the hundredth time. "Seriously, we just talked about this!"
"Well, I did do it!" Ace told him.
"So why aren't the rest of you angry?" Jozu asked still confused by the tone of the room and everything in general.
"Because Ace is doing that thing he does again," Izo told him carelessly. "Where he sees how hard he can make things for himself."
"Oh," Jozu said understanding what the other was trying to say. "So what is going on then?"
All eyes turned to Ace who didn't say anything.
"I will go get Sabo," Marco warned as he sat down.
Ace looked back at the two of them. Sabo had fallen asleep by now, some guard he was. His cheek on Luffy's head.
Reluctantly Ace sat down as well, pulling his knees closer to him.
"Fine," he said. They hated him already. May as well go all the way. After all, it wasn't like he could ever go back to the Whitebeards. Not after what he had done. But a small piece of him, the one that wanted to pretend there was an after to all of this, had wanted to keep the idea alive a little longer. But after he told them about Roger, and his involvement with Teach, all that was going to be pointless. It was time to let go of that… and them.
He looked at their faces, all of them staring at him. Waiting for him to finally start talking. "I really did all of that stuff and more," Ace told Jozu. "I would have done much worse things if I had to. So whatever you guys might think you don't owe me the benefit of the doubt."
"You just hate us that much then?" Jozu asked him, only he wasn't angry anymore. He looked sad.
"No," Ace said finding a spot on the floor to focus on. "I never hated you," he said after a moment. "I just…" Now he was going to have to explain what could have possibly driven him to turn against the people who had been like a family to him- even when he didn't deserve it.
He forced himself to meet Jozu's eyes once more. "I would have followed Oyaji to the end if I could have." In another world where evil brother stealers took a holiday, and cursed blood lay dormant.
"But your undying devotion to Teach was so strong?" Jozu prompted, half-serious and joking. In any other situation, Ace would have laughed but there was nothing funny about this.
"No," He told him and then stopped. Teach wasn't the one he did this for. He wanted to tell Jozu that Luffy was the one he had done all of this for. But he was worried how that would sound:
'See that kid I've never mentioned? Well, I like you guys but I would have tried to kill you to save him…. Please don't hurt them.' Yeah right.
Talking about emotions had never been his strong suit but Ace owed them more than a simple, I like him more. So he would try… he owed them that much. Anything to try and get them to understand this wasn't something he took lightly.
Right now Ace wished he could be anywhere else.
XXX
Sorry for the long absence guys. Schools out forever and I finally have time to write.
So this chapter was part of the longer discussion between Ace and the WB's where he tells them absolutely everything. But the chapter was getting a bit too long so I decided to cut it on two and post the first half a few days earlier. But don't worry, I know nothing happened in this chapter. I'm working on the rest of it and hopefully I can have it done in the next few days, I figured that you guys would rather have this early, even if nothing much happened. So stay tuned for chapter 49 and also 50!
I wanted to show everything ace was going through and give a little attention to how hard this has been for him.
(This chapter was such a rush job and now it is quite late so if quite a bit of the dialogue is complete gibberish that is tomorrows problem.)
Thanks for the patience guys. I promise the answers and then the action is coming soon. I'll try my best to have the new chapters out fast.
XXX
Wishfull-star: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx: Yeah, they have a few disasters heading their way. But don't worry things will get better. Hopefully Jozu got a bit better here.
IheLam" Thank you!
BlueHeartNina: Aw, thank you. I love ASL. Luffy and SAbo will get to know the Whitebeards better and Luffy will get back to his normal self-little by little. He has his brothers back now so he is getting better little by little. He just needs a change of scenery and to go outside again. (scared sad bean, haha)
SarcasmRocks: Haha, no sorry. There are a few obstacles left in their way.
And that is so nice! Thank you. That is really nice to hear you like this story.
More on Luffy's observation haki next time (or maybe the chapter after that). In this case the shouting at him without making a sound was observation haki to the CP-0 guy that he could sense. Sort of like a silent alarm in his brain that let him know things are dangerous when he comes too close.
But he also has the voice of all things (also more on that really soon), and he is just confused by everything that has happened with both of that.
And nobody dies! Cross my heart. I am still dealing with the manga deaths, no way I am subjecting anyone to that twice.
And thank you for the understanding! Exams are the absolute worst! I hope everything went okay with you too.
Mel72000: Exactly! You get me haha.
Demon-night24: Aw, sorry to make you sad. Poor Ace, he was really going through it. But Ace and Sabo and the others would do anything to make Luffy feel better. I'm really glad you liked it though. I think Ace and Luffy's relationship is so precious in the anime.
Thank you for the really nice review!
iyulia juuzou: Hopefully Teach is worse. Luffy will be okay! In the long run. Yes, Luffy is hearing the voice of the sea monsters and no! I think they are good or at least neutral to humans. More on them in chapter 50! The war is going to start in a few chapters (maybe 52?)
A6r6o6k: Yes! And Ace and Jozu slowly making up! Me too! I am glad someone else likes it haha. My favorite tension. But Ace is going to clear it up. That chapter should be out soon.
And as to the person who is following them I think chapter 50 is going to go into that but Luffy is using his observation Haki like the awesome fighter he is.
Azreal9576: Sorry to cut it short. I feel bad about that. But the lead up is the Whitebeards deciding to calm down and wait for Ace patiently. Ace is going to tell them everything, all cards on the table.
Dragonalw: Aw, I'm really glad to hear you like this. Thank you!
Yuzuki476: thank you.
Zaffra: Aw, why thank you. Sorry about that wait. I am safe and sound. Exams are finally over! More time to write! Thank you for the well-wishes.
I hope everything is going great for you!
Louve3: Thank you. I wish you the best!
MR97: Thank you! I can't wait to write more, especially this next part. I'll try to update very soon.
MariGaef: Aw that is so cute. I am really glad you liked it. That is so nice to say. I hope you like this one as well, even if it's a bit slow.
Seraphim1143: So sorry about cutting this chatper short. But a few more days and it should be finished. I'll try to update very soon.
Natsuminatsu: I will I promise! I'll update the rest of this in a few days. Whtiebeard and the Revolutionaries (and possibly Shanks) are just a little ways away now, almost there.
RainbowFatCat: Aw, thanks.
Boku wa Uzu: Thank you! Sorry about the wait this time. I ususally try to keep it under a month.
And yes! My favorite part of the story is finally here, the ASL hugs. They will be free, with a healthier Luffy soon!
Sakihinata: thank you ; )
Aquarica: Yes! You assumed right. Unfortunately it's not too good for them. But ASL is together and they will protect him. And yesm haha your right again. They have a lot of obstacles coming at them. The getting found out is probably going to be the first ball to drop haha. I promise I will try to update much sooner.
And AW! That is so nice of you. Thank you.
NicoRobinDevilChild: I think Luffy is a bit confused by getting his 'superpowers' for lack of another word, all at once. He is noticing the bad people with observation haki. Sorry I did a terrible job explaining it. I will clear it up next chapter!
Guest: Haha, yeah I think it is. But things will get a little more… action-ey and dramatic. One last drama scene before things calm down for real.
Yes! There will be more Shanks later. I couldn't wait to include him. And thank you! I am really glad you liked it!
NikkiQueen75: Thank you! Don't worry. I have been writing this for almost six years now. It seems like a waste to stop right when things are almost happy. Luffy deserves better after how mean I was to him haha.
Yes! Ace and Sabo will learn most of it, although probably not everything once things calm down a bit and Luffy starts to get better.
NekoUsagi1234: I'm glad you liked it! ASL melts my heart. They will be alright in the end! Things might just get a little tense for a bit. Luffy is going to get all of the hugs he wants and slowly start to recharge his human affection battery! Especially once they are safe.
GeekyWolf101: Aw, Thank you. Luffy is a badass and a cinnamon roll, that's why I love him. Sorry about the delay in everyones reactions. Just a few more days and I will finish the scene.
Criis46: Thank you! I am really glad you liked it! I missed out on ASL scenes through the whole story so now I can try to make up for it. Thank you so much for the support! More cute ASL on it's way. (Yeah Teach and Akainu really suck!)
Woozle81: Thank you! That is so nice to hear, I love knowing people are enjoying this story. It makes it all worth it. I love ASL too, I'm obsessed with how wholesome they are.
I don't think Sabo is going to tell Ace out of fear Ace is going to do something stupid and get himself hurt (he's already worried about how he is handling all of this.) But Ace can figure out Luffy is really sick from how he is acting.
Yes! Luffy will start to trust Marco more. He is already coming around to him little by little. He just needs a bit more time with them and to start to trust people again.
Thank You so much for the amazing review! I hope you liked the new chapter.
Shandar1: I think that is a good way of explaining it. I've never seen firefly but I think (in my own stupid explanation of how it works ) Luffy developed it out of instinct and fear. He is still getting the hang out observation haki but he learned from necessity to sense out the person who keep hurting him, they have also spent time together, so Luffy can pick up on his prescence. Sort of like a sixth sense but for the guys he is terrified of.
More of the wall next time! I promise I should have it up soon. And thank you for the nice review!
ihashibira560: Thank you!
Guest: Oh wow, two days. That must have taken a while. I am really glad you like it though. Thank you!
ThePansexualFish: (Love your name) And thank you! I am glad to hear you liked it!
Guest: Thank you! They did .I hope your doing well.
And don't worry. I spent six years writing this to just now get to the really good part. I don't have any intention of stopping. I can't promise how life is going to go but right now I can't imagine leaving it unfinished. (Not demanding at all that was really nice)
Thank you! I am glad you liked it. Sorry about the wait. Things got a bit busy. Haha, yeah I think that freaked a few people out. Don't worry, it's nothing they can't handle.
Things are going to be action packed really soon.
MariGaef: Why Thank You!
Teach really does suck and so does Akainu.
Onar27: Thank you! Sorry about the wait. But I am glad you like it!
The CP guy is meant to be creepy and a bit crazy. I don't know how realistic Luffy's observation skills are here but that's okay I'm taking some liberties. Luffy was always described as having animal like instincts so I think him sensing the dangerous man following him is a bit like that.
In defense of the Whitebeard's, it's mostly Jozu right now, and he believes Ace willingly hurt his friends and family to help Teach. I think the situation was a little different for the Straw Hats. Luffy is his own (very unique) person, who tries to see the good in people even when it's illogical and the sitation was different.
With the Whitebeards they have just been betrayed but Teach. He completely stabbed them in the back and is out to kill them. They have no sympathy or second chances for him. It wouldn't make sense for them to continue to give Teach their loyalty and since Ace is trying to best to prove to them that he has betrayed them, they have no reason to treat him differently.
With their crew mate kidnapped and war on the horizon the Whitebeards can't afford to continue to give Teach their loyalty after everything that has happened. And the same is extending for Ace in this situation, they would like to talk to them and hear it for themselves but right now they have a war to fight, their brother to save is their biggest priority.
But that's just my opinion. Things will change when Ace get's to explain his side and they understand more of what happened.
MariGaef : Thank you! I am really glad people seemed to like it!
(Also your reviews cracked me up)
samantha. 4: Of course! I am glad you liked it. All day, that must have taken forever, this thing got so long. But I love to hear you liked it!
Yes! Shanks is going to get involved, just not right at the beginning. He is a swoop in last minuet person.
Yes! Sorry about the hat. I just havn't been able to find a good- non-crisis time for Ace to give it back to him. Hopefully next chapter! Ace has been carrying it all this way.