Akkarin had not entered the conversation intending to kiss Sonea. He had finally acknowledged his attraction when she had grabbed his hand, and he had felt a jolt at the contact. However, he knew nothing could come of that attraction, so he had forced himself not to think of it, instead focusing on his story. That distraction technique had worked at first, but as she had questioned him, he had realized that not only did she believe him, but she did not condemn him for any of his decisions—even though he himself did. After years of living in fear that someone would find out his secret, leading to disastrous consequences, having another learn it and accept him nevertheless was a freeing feeling. Even that, however, he likely could have pushed aside, keeping his attraction under wraps. But then she had thanked him. It was not the words that had pushed him over the edge but the unspoken understanding behind them. He knew in that moment that he would never again meet anyone like her, someone who could see all his faults laid bare and accept him wholeheartedly nevertheless. And so he had kissed her.

It was unlike any kiss he had ever experienced. He had a few dalliances while a Novice and a woman in the city that he had gone to from time to time since returning from his travels, but none of those experiences had prepared him for the rush of desire and longing that suffused his body as soon as their lips met. Her lips were warm and compliant, and he lost himself in the sensation of them, using the hand she still clasped in her own to pull her to him. Once she was in his lap, he dropped his hands to her hips, holding her against him as he devoured her mouth with his. She responded eagerly, her own hands gripping the lapels of his robe as she let her mouth slant against his, making wordless noises of pleasure.

Akkarin was not sure how long they spent kissing, but eventually, a shred of reason forced its way to the forefront of his mind. She was a novice. Relationships between novices and magicians, while not strictly forbidden, were generally frowned upon because of the perceived power imbalance. And he was not just any magician either—he was the High Lord which would make that imbalance that much greater. More importantly, however, he had made too many enemies, enemies who would not hesitate to use someone he cared for against him. He refused to allow that to happen.

Slowly, he pulled away, savoring the last moments, knowing he likely would never experience them again. As he pulled fully away from her, he opened his eyes, noting that hers were still closed. They were silent for a minute before he forced his eyes from her face. "I'm sorry," he told her. Her eyes snapped open, her brow furrowing.

"Sorry?"

"I should not have been so forward. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable."

"Still, that should not have happened."

"Why not?"

"I'm older than you for one."

"Not by that much. You're what, 28, 29? I'm nearly 18. I've heard of much larger age gaps."

"You are also still a novice."

"Is it not allowed?"

"There's no official rule, but generally, it's discouraged for a magician and novice to enter into a relationship given the power imbalance."

"It does not bother me. Does it bother you?" She peered at him closely. He did not say anything for a moment, unsure of how to respond to her rather direct manner. Unfortunately, she misinterpreted his silence. "I see. I suppose that makes sense. The great and powerful High Lord doesn't want to be seen consorting with the Slum girl."

"That's not what I said," Akkarin remarked, anger creeping into his tone. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to modulate his tone. "The harm will not be to my reputation."

Sonea snorted. "My reputation is hardly something that can be harmed." Akkarin frowned. He had known that her entry to the Guild would be difficult, but from the sporadic reports Lorlen had given him, she had done quite well, even skipping ahead a class. What reputation was she speaking of? She shook her head, cupping his cheek. "It doesn't matter. I long ago stopped caring what people said about me." With that, she brought his lips to hers, sinking into his body. His arms tightened around her waist, keeping her close, and they lost themselves to each other for quite some time.

When breathing finally became a necessity, he dragged his lips from hers, resting his forehead against hers for a moment. His thoughts were muddled, and he was having a hard time trying to remember why he was objecting to what they were doing. "Still have objections?" she questioned, a note of amusement in her voice.

"There are a number of people who want me dead. The Sachakan king knows my face and name, and he and his magicians would not hesitate to use you against me."

"Then we keep our relationship discreet. If they do not know we are together, they will not know I can be used against you."

Akkarin sighed, his resolve slipping. "Secrets like this have a way of surfacing."

"Then we will just have to work extra hard to make sure it does not." And with that, she was kissing him again, pressing her chest against his in a most distracting manner. Akkarin's last shred of resolve crumpled, and he reached down to grab her butt and haul her fully against him. She wriggled in his lap, and a jolt of arousal shot straight through him. He shifted away slightly, hesitant to move too quickly lest he scare her away. However, she was making even that goal difficult, for every move she made increased his desire until he could hear nothing but it roaring in his ears.

At long last, he pulled away. He wanted to continue, but he knew the current night was not the time, not when they had only begun to explore their feelings for one another. "It's getting late," he told her softly, running his hand down her cheek.

She nodded. "I don't want to leave."

"Sonea-"

"I know." With great reluctance, she pushed herself off his lap and stood. He stood as well.

"Come, I will walk you out."

"How exactly is this going to work?"

He frowned. "I am not exactly sure at the moment."

"But we will find a way?"

He looked into her earnest expression and realized that he was in grave danger of giving her anything she ever wanted. "We will find a way," he promised, sealing the promise with a deep kiss before finally releasing her and opening the door with a thought. He watched as she slipped out into the darkness of the night, already considering how they might meet again.

Sonea found herself quite distracted the following day, so much so that she completely missed what one of the instructors was saying for part of the lesson and needed to ask to borrow notes from Tomas. Unfortunately, he was not a conscientious note-taker, and she found herself more confused after reading his notes than she had been before doing so. Her first thought was to ask Rothen about the subject, but it was in Warrior Skills, an area in which her guardian had neither interest nor ability.

With a thrill, Sonea realized there was now someone else she could ask. She had heard that Akkarin had been a Warrior before his election to High Lord. Perhaps she could clarify the points with him the next time they met—whenever that might be. She was still unsure exactly how they would meet again, but she trusted Akkarin's promise that he would find a way.

Fortunately for Sonea, she did not have to wait long to figure out Akkarin's way. Three days after his confession, Sonea was sitting at a small table in the back corner of the novice's library. She had taken to doing most of her studying there, for there were plenty of books and few novices bothered her, helped, most likely, by the fact that she had made friends with the young librarian, Lady Tya, who made it a point to check in on Sonea from time to time. "Determining weaknesses in shields. A most interesting topic of study," a soft, deep voice remarked. Sonea startled, turning to see Akkarin standing just behind her, his normal unreadable expression on his face.

"Some warning next time, please," she groused, and she caught a hint of laughter in his eyes before his face returned to a neutral expression. Somewhat clumsily, she stood, starting to bow, but he waved her off.

"I feel that we should dispense with formalities when it is just the two of us."

Her eyebrows rose. "Does that mean I get to call you Akkarin?"

"I would very much like it if you called me Akkarin in private," he told her, his voice a low purr. Sonea could not stop the blush from forming on her cheeks. He studied her with his dark gaze for a moment before saying abruptly, "Do you have dinner plans tonight?"

"Probably trying to eat as quickly as possible to avoid unpleasant attention and get back to studying." Akkarin regarded her carefully.

"Would you be interested in another proposal?"

Sonea smiled, catching on. "I suppose it depends on the proposal."

"Dinner at the Residence with me?"

"Is Takan cooking?"

Akkarin huffed, a slight hint of annoyance on his face. Sonea's grin broadened, happy to see that she had caused him to express some emotion. "Of course. But I was rather hoping you would be interested in the company."

"Oh, I am interested in both. What time?"

"Since the dinner gong is going to ring in less than five minutes, I thought now would be suitable." Sonea glanced up at the clock on the opposite wall, surprised at how late it was. There were no windows in the section of the library where she sat, so it made it difficult to judge the passing of time.

"That sounds good, but Lady Tya might be suspicious if she sees us leaving together."

"Oh, she won't see that. Pack up your things and go to the classroom three doors down on the right. It's unoccupied now."

"And what are you doing?"

He grinned with an almost boyish enthusiasm, an expression Sonea had not expected on his face but one which seemed oddly suitable. "Meeting you there." With that, he turned, stepping between two shelves that Sonea noted he had moved with magic to sit on either side of a small, non-descript bookcase. With a completely unexpected wink at Sonea, he reached up and pulled out five books part of the way, and the shelf spun to reveal a dark opening. "See you shortly," he promised, disappearing into the darkness as the shelf spun shut behind him.

Growing a bit excited herself, Sonea gathered her things and left the library, nodding to Lady Tya on her way out. It took a good deal of effort not to run to the classroom Akkarin had mentioned, but Sonea kept her pace measured, not wanting to arouse suspicion. Fortunately, the corridor was empty, so she was able to slip into the room undetected. Akkarin was already waiting inside, leaning against the desk with a small smile on his face. "Come," he said, motioning her forward. Sonea noted a dark opening similar to the one in the library, this time behind a filing cabinet. She stepped into it, feeling the warmth of Akkarin's body just behind her as he stepped in too, closing the door behind them. Immediately, two globe lights sprung to life, hovering just in front of the pair. Without warning, Akkarin took Sonea's face in his hands, pulling her to him and kissing her fiercely. "I have been wanting to do that again for three days," he confessed when they finally parted.

Sonea's heart raced at the confession. She had never considered herself particularly attractive, so she was not quite sure how she had managed to capture the attention of so powerful—and handsome—a man as Akkarin, but she was glad she did. She was also not going to question her good fortune; growing up in the Slums, one learned to be thankful for any bit of good fortune she received, and Sonea was no exception. Leaning forward, she kissed him again, taking a chance and deepening the kiss. He responded immediately, his tongue tangling with hers, and both were breathing harshly when they finally pulled apart. "I have wanted to do that as well," she informed him, and he rewarded her with a small chuckle.

"Come. Takan will be displeased if we are late to dinner." He held out a hand, and Sonea took it immediately, enjoying its warmth as their fingers curled together. She was practically jogging to keep up with his longer strides, but she did not mind, for she was with him. Eventually, he led her out of the tunnels into the room where she had found him nearly dead nine days before. Has it really been so short a time? She wondered, but she supposed a good deal had changed in that time.

They did not linger in the room, but Akkarin instead led her up two flights of stairs to the dining room where the table had already been set for two. As he had done previously, he pulled out her chair, and Sonea had to force back a blush. She knew it was a custom in the Houses, for she had seen other novices do so, but no one had ever done such a thing for her before. It was easy enough for her to realize why, too—such an action was a sign of respect for the woman being seated and there was no one at the Guild who respected Sonea as an equal given her background, not even Rothen though Sonea suspected his reluctance was more because of their status as Guardian and novice than any concern about her origins.

Unlike the previous time, however, Akkarin used the chance to caress her shoulder, letting his hand trail sensually down her side. "They do not understand what they are missing," he whispered to her, and her blush deepened as she realized he had read her surface thoughts.

"Can you hear everything I'm thinking?" she questioned. "That's truthfully a bit disconcerting."

He crossed to the opposite side of the table, giving her a quick smile. "I would have to concentrate quite hard to hear everything, and even then, there are still ways to hide your thoughts if you wish. But I assure you, I generally do not use this particular. . . talent. You just happened to be shouting your thoughts particularly loudly. I will show you how to quiet them later if you wish."

Sonea nodded, swallowing. Private lessons with the High Lord. Who would have thought she of all people would have such a thing? "That would be nice." He considered her for a moment before stepping back to her side. When he placed a hand on her shoulder, she felt a wave of emotion crash into her—longing, desire, and something else even greater, something that hovered just under the surface. With a start, she realized he had opened up his mind to her, letting her experience some of his thoughts.

He pulled away, and the feelings dissipated. "I thought you might be more comfortable if we were on more even footing," he said simply, moving back to his seat and sliding into it. Sonea felt a rush of gratitude for his consideration, and she gave him a warm smile. Takan entered at that moment, saving her from responding verbally, and for a few minutes, the only sounds were those of silverware on plates. Sonea realized she was quite ravenous, but she supposed that made sense—she had not eaten much breakfast or lunch, for she was still wary of spending too much time in the Foodhall lest some of the novices in her old class accost her there.

Once she had sated the worst of her hunger, she looked at Akkarin who was watching her with an expression she could not quite place. Deciding she would worry about what it meant later, she told him, "I want to help."

His eyebrows rose. "Help?"

"With the Sachakans. You should not have to do this alone."

His eyes darkened, and he shook his head slowly. "This is my burden to bear, Sonea. I did not tell you so you could help me."

"Then why did you tell me?"

"It seemed more dangerous not to. And. . ." He trailed off, seeming to think better of what he was going to say.

"And?" Sonea prompted.

"Never mind."

"Akkarin, please. I can't keep secrets from you. The least you could do is return the favor."

He huffed. "Why do I get the feeling I'm rarely going to win any arguments with you?" he asked, mostly to himself. Sonea simply raised an eyebrow, waiting. "After all these years keeping my work secret from everyone in the Guild, it was freeing to tell someone." His voice was soft, and his dark gaze met hers, holding her captive. "Especially telling someone who believed me immediately and did not condemn me for my actions."

"I could hardly condemn you for keeping Kyralia safe. Which is also why I want to help."

He considered for a moment. "I suppose I could use another willing source of power."

"Surely I can help more than that. What if you taught me-"

"No." He cut her off immediately, his eyes blazing. "I will not teach you black magic. I will not have you break your vows." His voice took on an almost pleading tone. "You have a very bright future here, Sonea. I will not have you risk it for this."

"But you-"

"I made my choices."

"Shouldn't I have the option of making mine?"

"I will not budge on this."

"Won't I learn it anyway if you take my power?"

He seemed confused for a moment before his eyes widened in surprise. "You think that I would take your power using black magic?"

Sonea shrugged. "How else could you?"

He stared at her a moment before standing suddenly, striding to her side and pressing his lips fiercely to hers. Surprised, she could do nothing but return the kiss. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead on hers as his hand caressed her cheek. "Such trust," he muttered. Sonea canted her head in confusion. "There are ways for one magician to pass power to another," he finally told her though he did not pull away from her. "You will likely learn it soon in your classes, but I can teach you easily enough. Normally, the person receiving such power would channel it immediately into a spell, but I can store it."

"Oh." Sonea's heart was still beating fast, both at his proximity and the look in his eyes which were almost black with desire. She wanted to give in to that desire, but she knew it was not the time. Instead, she forced back her own arousal and said, "Could we start tonight? I know you need as much power as possible."

He pulled away from her, nodding before returning to his seat. "I see no reason why we could not start your lessons tonight, but it may take a few days to master."

"I would not be averse to sampling more of Takan's cooking."

He laughed, the first real laugh Sonea had heard from him, and she noticed it made him look years younger. "I think he would appreciate cooking for more than me as well."

"Maybe I can help you with other things, too. Not black magic," she assured him at his look. "But maybe we could find the secret weapon together?" Akkarin looked shocked for a moment before his expression cleared.

"I suppose one day I will stop being surprised by what you know. I could use some help looking for the secret weapon but only if it does not interfere with your classes and only if you are with me. I found a coded note tucked into one of the bookcases in the library which led me to suspect it is in the passages I showed you today, and they can be dangerous to travel alone."

"Like you have been doing?"

"I have my own ways of mitigating the danger."

Sonea decided not to argue further, sensing from his tone it would be of no use. "I could also help find the court magicians when they come. I know the Slums well."

Akkarin shook his head. "I do not want you out with me. It's quite dangerous and would be much too suspicious if someone saw you."

"Why? I came from there, and everyone assumes I still have my share of connections there." That comment gave Sonea another idea. "Actually, that is somewhat true. I do have connections in the Slums who could probably help you."

Now, Akkarin looked intrigued. "Let us talk about those."

A/N: I have never read the Traitor Spy trilogy (Akkarin is one of my favorite fictional characters, and I just don't think I could read something set in the Black Magician universe without him), so I have no idea what happens in those. Given that, I have added my own version of Sachakan society to this story which likely will not mesh well with that trilogy.