I was standing in a meadow in the summer sun. I loved the feel of the heat on my skin in the summer. Living in Alaska left little opportunity to enjoy summer days that I longed for. The summer days that my mother enjoyed before she moved to the state of Washington. The move that changed her life forever. She met her soulmate, my father, her vampire mate.
I skipped through the meadow, my superhuman senses being overloaded with the beautiful fragrance of lavender. Nothing felt better than being in nature, it was so perfect, so peaceful for the soul. I almost didn't notice him but I stopped suddenly when I realised what I was looking at. He was a small boy, with chestnut hair and deep chocolate brown eyes. His eyes never left mine. There was something sinister in them. He then accompanied that sinister stare with an slowly upturned sinister smile. There was blood in the corner of his mouth. I smelt it instantly. It made me thirsty in a way I'd not felt since... I gasped.
My eyes flung open and I sat upright, my breathing rapid. I sighed when I realised it was just a nightmare. Well, maybe not even a nightmare, just a dark dream towards the end. I had been so happy in the meadow but the sinister boy had interrupted it briefly. It was strange though, I didn't feel like he ruined the dream. In fact, for that brief moment, I was fascinated by him. I pondered for a moment then looked at the clock. 8am, damn I was running late! I leapt out bed, the sunlight peeking through the curtains. I threw on some pale blue jeans and a red sweater. I scrambled to find my hair brush and sat in front of the mirror grooming myself before breakfast. Even though, I felt dog rough, I didn't look it. My skin was a beautiful shade of mocha. I had no acne, no spots, no blemishes or imperfections of any kind. I grinned to myself. I tried not to be shallow, because I valued people much more for their personalities than their looks. With one touch, I could see their memories, feel their emotions. I could see pain, love, sadness and joy without ever having to have a conversation with them. Of course, I could never touch anyone. Only those who knew about me. My family and my good friend, Jake.
As soon as I mentioned his name, I heard him at the front door. Mom and Dad greeted him and he instantly asked where I was. I rolled my eyes, Jake was so direct sometimes. I finished preening and went into the kitchen/living room area to pack my school bag. I had a history final today that I didn't feel remotely ready for. I had studied so hard but I just felt so off after that dream. I pushed it to the back of my mind.
As soon as I saw Jake, my heart thumped in my chest. I smiled shyly as he greeted me and tried to focus finding all my books to pack. "Hey Ness, sleep well?" I ignored the question and kept packing. Mom and Dad noticed I was distracted. "Everything okay sweetie?" Mom asked. I turned to her, knowing I couldn't ignore Mom for long otherwise Dad would just chime in and tell her my thoughts anyway "yeah, I'm fine. Just got that history final today and i'm kinda nervous"
"You'll do fine Ness" said Jake, putting his arms on my shoulders, squeezing me gently to reassure me. Why did I feel a pang of excitement today? I felt uneasy about that. Suddenly I was noticing Jake more recently and I didn't know why.
Dad handed me some toast and smiled. I think he sensed I was nervous and felt uncomfortable being around Jake, but he didn't say anything. He didn't look surprised actually. I thanked him with a smile and said "wish me luck!" rather enthusiastically and with a forced smile. "you won't need it" he said gently and went to put his arm around Mom. I looked back on them and couldn't help thinking how great they looked together. Forever young, 17 and 18, Mom was the age I am now, which was an odd thought, but deep down I knew they had aged together because they'd been through so much together. Dad of course, was a much older vampire than Mom, but I know from touching them both that they were both old souls. Well matched, perfect mates.
Jake shook me out of my train of thought when he reminded me we had to go. I waved a quick goodbye to my parents and dashed out the door. Jake had his motorcycle out the front and held his helmet out to me. I groaned because I'd just done my hair. "Safety first, Ness. You know vamp dad wouldn't forgive me otherwise" he said with a grin holding it out to me. I took it unwillingly, put it on swiftly and climbed on the bike behind Jake. I noticed how great he smelt today. The leather jacket and the hint of his musk smelt just perfect. I held tightly onto his waist, dazzled by him. I shook the thought out of my head. What was the matter with me today? The engine roared to life and we were speeding through the country roads. The trees looked so beautiful in the sunlight, the mountains and lake water glistened in the sun. I sighed, happy in this moment being on Jake's bike. I loved it so much and just wanted to be out in nature every time I was in a stuffy schoolroom. I'd often look out of the window when my teachers were talking. I'd often been caught out and the teacher would try and catch me out and ask me to repeat what they'd said – thinking they'd be able to show me up, like an average human student. Thankfully I took after my rather, my vampire senses gave me a superhuman ability to retain information and multi task well. I could retain everything I heard, even if I wasn't focusing directly on it and was seemingly in my own dream world, outside, on an adventure. The teachers soon realised I was a clever child. They hated it, but they soon stopped asking me to pay attention. They realised that even if it didn't look like I was, I could still recall anything I was ever told.
When I was in my train of thought, I was somehow able to shut the world out when I wanted to. I suddenly realised Jake had stopped and we were at school. I felt my stomach tie into a knot. The nerves were somehow getting the better of me today. I'd never felt so human. "We're here honey, jump off" I blushed as he called me honey. The first time I'd done so, he always called me that. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head slightly, trying to brush off my odd mood. Jake's phone started to ring and he took a call a few meters away from the bike. I saw my friend Eleanor who started waving enthusiastically at me. I smiled back and went to join her.
"Hey girl! You ready for the history final?" I winced and replied "yeah, absolutely. Just gotta remember a thousand dates and keep focused with no distractions" I scoffed internally as I said those last two words. No distractions. I glanced back at Jake whose back was turned to me as he was still speaking on the phone. I'd never felt more distracted in my life. Eleanor noticed this immediately and didn't hesitate to ask "So what's going on with you and Jake?" she asked. I wasn't ready to answer. "hmm? Nothing" I said quickly. "Same old Jake, we've been friends for years, grown up together" that last part was a lie but as Jake looked the same age as me, I couldn't tell a human that he was alot older than he looked.
"As if!" Eleanor scoffed. "there is so much spark between you, I'm surprised there's not literal fireworks going off around you both" I laughed at this. As much as I was mortified, Eleanor did amuse me with her light-hearted wit. "So what are you going to do about it?" I immediately deflected the question by asking about something that knew would take the heat off me. "so what's going on with you and your guys?" it worked instantly and she started on a long line of updates about the two guys she was dating. I relaxed and let her talk. I listened to every word and "mmhm'ed" and "ahh'ed" when I needed to. I enjoyed having a human friend who I could talk about these things with. I sometimes envied her being fully human. I loved my superhuman abilities and my amazing superhuman family but sometimes I did wish my life was simpler and had fewer restrictions. I could live amongst humans, I could talk like them, eat like them and walk among them with ease. But I wouldn't ever truly be one of them. My loyalty was to my superhuman family. My family of vampires and Jake – my wolf brother. Brother? Why didn't that seem to sit right with me recently?
We almost reached the school entrance when Jake called for us to wait up. He ran faster than the other human boys could with ease. He wasn't even out of breath when he caught up to us but he did have a trickle of sweat run down his cheek. My heart lurched through my stomach, I felt a prickling heat, my throat felt flushed and my mouth felt dry. I think he saw the alarm in my eyes and when he tried to reach out to me to touch my arm, I flinched back. He looked instantly hurt. Why did I do that? I turned back and didn't say anything, took Eleanor by the arm and practically fled to the classroom. Her cackling filled the corridor, she thought it was hilarious that I had just rejected Jake right at the school entrance in a public display. Several students murmured and giggled in response. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Just get through the finals, I thought. No big deal. Jake will understand you're under pressure. You can deal with this later.
50 minutes into the history final and my mind was still blank. Why had i been like that with Jake? What was happening to me? Why was I so distracted? Why didn't I feel I could concentrate on anything. My thoughts just flitted back to Jake. My Jake. My brother. No. No, not my brother. My Jake. My Jake. My dearest friend. The person I could count on my whole life. What was this sudden interest in him? I knew him forever. Why had things gotten suddenly awkward? I had no explanation. Suddenly, I heard a terrible sound "Time's up. Pens down" Mr Brown declared. I felt a surge on panic. NO! I had barely written 3 sentences? I had failed. Failed! I couldn't believe it. I'd never failed any class, ever. How could this be happening to me? During finals week! I practically fled from the classroom and locked myself in the bathroom crying my eyes out. I felt anger and frustration with myself. Why did I do this? After wiping my eyes and nose, I stormed out of the school. Jake was standing outside and called for me but I ignored him. I didn't want to speak to him, I didn't want to ride on his bike. I wanted him out of my head, just for a minute, I needed some space. I began walking towards the woodland area and from that point on, when I was out of sight, I began to run. As fast as possible. I couldn't move as fast as mom and Dad but it was lightning speed compared to humans. I needed to run, I needed to be free. I felt so trapped in my own head right now that I needed to try and sort my head out and get back in the game. I heard wolf growls as Jake was gaining on me. I matched his speed however and got home before him. I slapped the door in his face but he wasn't giving him. He opened the door, and I had to turn towards him, to face him and explain myself.
"Ness, what happened? What's going on? Why did you blank me? And why are you being so weird with me this morning?" Jake demanded. His eyes looked so confused, so sad, so urgent . I glanced at the note on the coffee table. Mom and Dad were hiking and spending a few days in a cabin in the mountains for their anniversary. I'd completely forgotten but was glad they weren't here to eavesdrop this private conversation. I sighed, knowing I had to be honest.
"I don't know Jake. Lately, I just feel like something has changed between us. I feel like...our relationship has changed" Jake said nothing but continued to listen. I hadn't planned on continuing but it didn't seem like he was going to interject "I just feel like, I'm noticing you in a way I never have before. I'm thinking about you more, distracted by you. Hell, I've basically flunked my history final because I can't get you out of my mind" Jake sighed and put his head in his hands sinking down onto the sofa. He stayed like that for a moment, he then held his head up, his head in his hands, like he was deep in thought. Like he was going to confess something. I braced myself. Did he understand what was going on?
"Renesmee..." he never called me that. This was serious. "there is a reason why you're feeling this way. I've felt it too, for a while actually" I sat down next to him, keeping some distance between us so I could think straight and take in what he was saying to me. "what do you mean?" I asked, desperate to know more.
"I've been feeling this way for about 6 months now. We've always had this connection, Ness. Ever since you were born. It's like an instant connection, kind of like fate. It happens between wolves and their imprintee. You're my imprintee, Renesmee. You're the one I was destined to care for and protect for the rest of my life"
I tried to process this but needed to know more "so why has it felt different for you the past 6 months if this connection has been there since my birth?" he hesitated. I felt like he didn't want to tell me this part, but he knew I needed to know.
"This connection begins when the wolf sees the imprintee for the first time. I saw you the day you were born, so the connection began then, but over time, it can develop...into something else..." he trailed off.
"Develop into what?" I urged. I knew it in my heart but I needed him to say it. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I needed to hear it from him.
"Develop into love, Renesmee" he looked down, not wanting to meet my gaze. I shifted closer to him, I put my hand under his chin and lifted his head so his gaze would meet my eyes.
"Do you love me Jacob?" I asked softly.
He sighed and I could feel his body shaking slightly, the heat rising in his cheeks.
"Yes, Ness. I love you and only you" I stayed quiet for a moment but continued to look in his eyes. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. For once, I was speechless. He chimed in then, with something I wasn't expecting.
"you don't have to choose me you know. You do have a choice." I certainly didn't feel like I did.
"I just feel so distracted these days. I can't focus on anything. I can't focus on finals, I don't feel like I can even think straight right now. I feel so overwhelmed with these feelings, Jake"
He then pulled away from me and stood up looking angry. "This is all my fault! God, why did I have to do this to you with my moronic wolfiness? I should give you space. I should take off for a week or two, let you focus..." he headed for the door to his bike outside and I instantly panicked. I leapt up as fast as I could and called out after him.
"No Jake! It's not your fault! You said it's like fate. We've never been apart before. You can't do this. You can't leave me like this!" I pleaded. He turned back to look at me, shocked. He didn't say another word until he saw in my eyes that I desperately needed to hear him say something. Say anything. Anything to comfort me.
"Do you want this, Renesmee? Do you want us?"
"Yes, yes I want this. I want you, Jacob. Always" I breathed. I couldn't believe the words had come out of my mouth, but I knew they were true. I felt so elated, so happy with my confession.
He strode towards me and took me in his arms. I held him close and pulled back. He didn't make a move, he was waiting for me. I didn't hesitate. I closed my eyes and kissed his soft lips. In that moment, everything else melted away. The fear, the confusion, the upset. Nothing else mattered now. I felt whole. The kiss deepened, fire rose thorough my body and I felt electricity surge through me. I didn't think about this feeling, I just felt it. I just went with it. I was hungry, I wanted him. He responded instantly and groaned, he kissed me more urgently, and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he carried me inside, heading for my bedroom. The door slammed and we were in our own world now. Our own universe. I'd learnt about all this in science and giggled with Eleanor about this moment. But right now, I didn't feel like a giggly girl. I felt like a woman. A woman eager to feel the love, the passion, the pleasure with the man I'd fallen in love with. The man I was bound to...my wolf mate...my Jake. As he pulled away from me once we'd finished lovemaking, I felt a sense of loss, but he quickly wrapped me in his arms and kissed my shoulder, my neck, my lips. I felt so wonderful. I felt so loved. I felt my eyes go heavy and drifted into a blissful, dreamless sleep.
The next few days were amazing. We made love every morning before breakfast and I studied for my finals at night. Jake went out for a run so not to distract me but as soon as he'd get back, I'd be all over him. He was so sexy and irresistible when he was sweating, I just wanted to devour him completely. The pheromones contributing to my body's lustful reaction. We made love all night. I'd studied enough, I knew English was going to be fine, I just wanted him in that moment.
We woke up in the morning and had our usually morning session. It had been 4 days since our first time and the last of finals. I had a quick shower after our session whilst Jake was making breakfast. As I left the bedroom and walked into the kitchen, I was taken aback by what I saw. Jake had covered the counter in wild flower petals and made omelettes, my favourite human breakfast. The fragrance of the flowers and the smell of breakfast was so incredible, I felt so hungry and happy. I thanked him with a kiss and began to tuck into breakfast. He chuckled. "Just a celebratory breakfast for my girl's last day of finals." I was glad mom and dad weren't due back until tomorrow night. I wanted one more night alone with Jake where we were living in this blissful bubble. I wasn't sure how to tell my parents about us, or how they'd react . He seemed to unknowingly answer my question. "I think we should tell your parents when they get home tomorrow. I don't want them thinking we're hiding anything. Besides vamp Aunt Alice is probably already aware and will let vamp Dad know as soon as possible" I swallowed and nodded, drinking a sip of orange juice. We continued to eat in silence and look at each other smirking. I couldn't stop smiling at him, catching his glance. He was so perfect, so gorgeous, I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. He kissed my hand and i felt an electric shock pulse through my veins. I stood up and he mirrored my actions, I pulled him towards me and kissed him deeply, hungrily. He responded and lifted my hands above my head and backed me against the wall. The kiss got more urgent and I desperately wanted to take him to bed. He pulled away before I could push him towards the bedroom and looked over towards the clock. "We don't have time, beautiful. You've got finals to ace" I groaned and gave him one last quick kiss before I darted to find my books and bag.
Finals went so well thankfully and I put down my pen in the last exam, satisfied. I breathed a sense of relief and was so happy finals were done. Jake was waiting for me and held my hand as we walked to his bike. A few people from class saw us, Eleanor wasn't taking the same final exam as me so would have to be filled in another time. Although knowing our classmates, she'd probably know before Jake and I got home.
I got off Jake's bike, who ran into the house before me. I shrugged off his quirkiness, he did have a competitive streak in him sometimes and wanted to prove it in simple things like beating me home. I wasn't quite expecting the reception I received though.
He decorated the whole living room in kitchen in lights. There were flowers everywhere, I felt like I was back in the meadow of my dreams. Kneeling in the centre of the living room was Jake, where the coffee table usually stood. Hr was holding a ring box and began to speak before I could. "Renesmee, these last few days have been the best of my life, I've never felt so happy than I do right now..." I started walking towards him slowly as he continued "I didn't know when and how I'd want to do this.. I thought it might be years from now, but being with you the past few days surpassed everything I ever imagined. I want you to be mine. I want to be your husband and for you to be my wife for the rest of our lives..." I stopped just before I reached him and felt my heart slow, slower than it ever had before. I breathed in, waiting for the most memorable moment of my life. The most memorable, important question I'd eve hear..."Renesmee Carlie Cullen, will you marry me?" There was a glint in Jake's eyes and I didn't need asking twice "I flung my arms around him and responded in his ear "Yes". He hugged me hard, and put the ring on my finger. It was a beautiful ruby which sparkled in the fairy lights. My favourite jewel, he knew me so well. He looked in my eyes and kissed me passionately. My head was spinning, I didn't even noticed that we weren't alone.
Mom and Dad were in the room. I didn't even have a chance to open my mouth when Mom had leapt at Jacob, snarling, pinning him up against the wall. "what the hell are you doing with my daughter, Jacob?" I'd never seen mom like this, I was so shocked. Jacob smirked "here we are again Bella" I was confused by his reaction, mom was enraged by it. "Answer the question, Jacob!" she hissed pushing him more violently against the wall. "you knew this day would come, Bella, we all did. Don't upset our Ness now" Dad interjected. I thanked Dad with a glance, but was still confused about what Jake had said. Mom released Jake. I went to hug him and threw daggers at mom. We stood side by side, his arm round me. Dad and mom mirrored us and were in the same position. It was time.
"Mom, Dad..." I started. "Jacob and I. We've realised we have feelings for one another and have decided to be together." I said it quickly before mom had a chance to interject.
"You mean he's taken advantage of you like we always knew he would" mom mumbled looking away from us.
"Bella-" Jacob started to speak but I shook my head and put my hand on his chest to stop him.
"Mom, what are you talking about? Dad, why do you both not even seem surprised about this?"
Dad sighed. "we know about imprinting Renesmee, that is what this is..."
"Yeah, it's not even love, it's possession from his moronic wolf side" mom hissed.
Anger rose up inside me. "Do not speak to me or him like that ever again, mother. I love him so much, you have no idea!" she heard the plea and honesty in my voice. It took her aback and her demeanour softened. She almost looked apologetic, but I knew it wouldn't be that easy. But I knew from her look that she understood what I was talking about.
I took a step towards her wanting to reconcile and hug. Before she embraced me, she caught a glimpse of the ring. "what the hell is this?" she shouted, holding my hand up for her to see. I stood back, regretting instantly that I hadn't done better to hide it and Jake was instantly at my side, arm round my waist. "Yes Bella, we're engaged. It's done. We will be getting married"
"because you've trapped her!" she retorted.
Jake hit back instantly "that's rich, considering how your blood sucker trapped you all those years ago!" I briefly let go of Jake...shocked. I knew he was the natural enemy of vampires, but I knew a reconciliation took place when I was born. I wasn't expect him to spit such hate. Spit hate on what was half of me, my vampire side that I inherited from my father. He looked at me apologetically "I'm sorry, Ness, I shouldn't have said that"
"But you did!" I replied angrily and pulled my arm away from him as he tried to reach it.
"We all just need to calm down!" Dad said calmly. I was far from calm.
"No, what needs to happen now is for someone to tell me the truth about this. This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life so far and I feel so torn and confused." I said.
Mom, Dad and Jake looked at each other. Dad gestured for us all to sit. I sat next to Jake on one sofa, mom and dad sat down on the sofa opposite of us.
Dad began "Renesmee, your birth day was not exactly a happy one at first. Your mother was dying giving birth to you, only my venom saved her. She was changing into a vampire whilst her human heart and practically given up. We didn't know at first if she were alive or dead. Jake and mom were best friends. He joined our clan to protect you and her from the wolves. They were concerned about you. As you were an infant, they didn't know what you were or whether you'd be able to control your thirst..." Dad paused and I ignored the pang of thirst in my throat, as I had grown accustomed to doing. "They had come to kill you, but when Jacob saw you, he had imprinted so that in itself kept you safe. Jake went to confront them and phased. They realised then that he had imprinted on you. And they couldn't touch you then. It was their absolute law not to hurt anyone another wolf imprints on" it explained alot but not everything.
"so why is mom angry?" I asked.
"Because you were a baby Renesmee! You had no consent and neither did Jake. You were bound together because of his DNA! You practically have no choice in this!"
"That's not true Bella. Ness has the chance to walk away from me."
"Yeah, like you'd ever allow that to happen! You'd still stalk her with the excuse of protecting her even if she did reject you" I shook my head. This was madness but it didn't matter to me. I loved Jake and Jake loved me. It didn't matter whether genetics made it happen, we were soul mates no matter what.
"I'd be whatever she needed and I'd keep a safe distance no matter what. She's the most important thing, she always has been!"
"we both know that's a..." mom said. Dad shushed her and tried to gesture her to go outside with him.
"Wait, what?" I asked. Mom shook her head, seemingly regretting what she said.
"that's a what, mom? Tell me!" I urged, getting angry now.
"Ness.." Jake said, reaching for me.
"No, Jake...I want to hear this! Mom, tell me what you were going to say!"
Mom sighed and walked towards me. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry to tell you this but before you were born...Jacob was in love with me" I stood, frozen. I didn't know what to do, what to think. Jake looked at me worriedly. Dad looked at me with a sorry look on his face. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.
I stood up and began to pace. I felt like I was hyperventilating, I couldn't think straight. "please tell me this is a joke. Please..."
Dad came to comfort me. Jake tried but Dad stopped him with his hand. Dad had his hands on my shoulders, he put his hand on my face and looked me in the eyes "Ness, it's okay. We're here. Please relax and i'll try to explain." I nodded weakly. "Get me out if here Dad, I don't want to speak to either of them.
Mom and Jake tried to object but Dad turned back and replied firmly "Stop. Both of you. I'll speak with Ness, alone"
I walked with Dad in the forest. It was a beautiful night, the moon shone through the trees and the stars twinkled beautifully. But I wasn't in the right frame of mind to appreciate it. We didn't speak for a while, but I wanted answers. "So how do I make sense of all this, Dad?" I asked.
Dad sighed "we aren't exactly sure about why it had to happen this way. Jacob and your mom fell in love after I had broken up with her for a few months" I was shocked, I hadn't realised they ever broke up. Dad continued "they spent a lot more time together after I left. Your mother grew deeply depressed and Jake was the only one who helped her feel better. She used to refer to him as "her sun" I felt sick hearing this. Did Jake really love me at all? Did mom really love Dad at all?
"so why did you get back together if Jacob and mom loved each other?"
"Because we knew she loved me more. She was my soul mate, Ness, just as Jake is yours. But that doesn't mean you can't fall in love with more than one person"
"So, how did they stay friends if they were still in love?" I asked, not being able to make sense of this mess.
"It was very difficult but as a human, your mom was often in danger from our other vampire enemies. Even though it hurt Jake that she chose me, he still would fight for her...until the end..."
"until the end of her human life" I whispered. Suddenly, realising the truth. I stopped in my tracks. "so he stopped loving her when I was born..." I stared at him, waiting for an answer.
Dad said nothing but nodded.
"So he doesn't love me? He was just forced to?" I said, wanting to cry.
"No darling. He does love you. He just didn't know he could love anyone else until he imprinted. He thought he'd always be pining after your mother" he tried to take me in his arms but I resisted, starting to cry.
"Because I got in the way of his first choice."
Dad took my face in his hands "No, Renesmee, you brought us all together. You brought peace to our clans, don't ever forget that. We finally had peace because of you. That is something that Carlisle, me and all your aunts and uncles will be forever grateful for" he wrapped me in his arms, and I stood there weeping. I was so glad I had him here with me, to explain this all to me. I had no idea how to face mom and Jake after this. "Ness, don't worry, we'll-" Dad suddenly stopped, frozen.
"Dad-" he stopped me raising his finger and did something he'd never done before. He knelt in front of me and listened to my stomach. I was confused but didn't move. What could he hear? He gasped.
"Dad, what's going on?" I asked worried.
He stood up and put his hand on his forehead, looking concerned. Something was wrong, what was happening? What did he know?
"this is the same thing that happened to your mother...so unexpected" he said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.
He looked at me urgently and shook my shoulders "you need to tell me honestly Ness, have you been intimate with Jake?"
I didn't say nothing but nodded embarrassed.
"Oh god." He responded. I knew what he was going to say. I waited. I couldn't believe it until he said the words.
"Renesmee, you're pregnant"
Mom and Jake had gone to stay in Forks for the weekend to visit their families. Mom hadn't seen out vampire family in a while and Jake reunited with his wolf pack. Dad and I were alone. I said I wanted space to think things over but they refused to let me stay alone. Dad even more so knowing my secret condition.
"What am I going to do, Dad? This is such a mess. Mom and Jake, the engagement, telling you both about Jake and me, and now the baby..."
"I know Ness. Your mother and I were engaged for a month before we married and then had you a month later, it was all so fast for us too"
I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe that we all seemed so irresponsible when it came to family planning. I had been planning to take a photography internship over the summer before attending the University of Alaska in the fall. Throwing a baby in the works seemed to blow all those plans out of the water. I could take a gap year. Following the flunked history final, I would probably need to resit anyway as well as having to adjust to motherhood.
"I want to continue my internship next month of I can but I'll probably have to go part time rather than full time"
"Once step at a time, Ness. We don't have know the effect the wolf/vampire hybrid will have on your body." Dad cautioned.
I knew he was right but I hated not knowing and having to change my plans..I hated feeling like I wasn't in control and I felt the least in control I'd ever felt in my life. Reading my mind, Dad came up with an idea.
"How about we have an engagement party with the family? It can also be a pregnancy announcement. The family will be right behind you and Jake, Ness. Whatever has happened in the past, it's long over. You belong with Jake and I belong with your mother. We raises you in love, no blurred lines and no dysfunction, I promise" I turned to him and hugged him wordlessly. I knew he was right. No matter what happened before, I had to make peace with my parent's unconventional past. We lived in a supernatural world, relationships were complicated enough in the human world. Dad chuckled at my last thought and kissed my hair softly.
Dad called mom the following day and the family all here within a few hours. I greeted them all with a hug and had to hold back the tears. Papa Carlisle and Mama Esme looked radiant, as did Auntie Rose who looked just as beautiful as the flower she was nicknamed after. Uncle Emmett picked me up and spun me round in excitement, telling me he was so excited to see his favourite niece. When I remarked I was his only niece, he gave me a cheeky smile and winked. Aunt Alice gave me a heart warming hug, she already knew our secret of course but put a finger to her lips and smiled to confirm she'd keep it a secret until the big reveal. Dad nodded in thanks. Jasper gave me a quick hug and I felt his aura calm me. I sighed and was grateful for it, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek to thank him for being able to regulate the emotions in the room. I hadn't told Jake yet, I was expecting fireworks so needed to keep a cool head even if he didn't.
Aunt Alice had briefed the others on the party but hadn't confirmed what it was for. For all they knew, it was just a celebration of us all being reunited after 5 years of leaving Forks. Everyone was said to learn that we had to leave, Grandpa Charlie especially. I remember being awake one night and overhearing Mom and Dad relive the conversation.
"I don't understand Bells, why are you studying in Alaska and moving away like this? I love having you all here"
"it's a great science programme, Dad, and you know I'm wanting to become a research scientist. It's been 2 years since I graduated, I need to start my higher education and shouldn't hold off any longer"
It broke Grandpa Charlie's heart when we left but mom, Dad and Jake knew we had no choice. I was ageing too fast and even Grandpa was raising his eyebrows that his granddaughter was almost ready to start school at 2 years of age. Even though he was on a need to know basis, he was still a human and it was dangerous for humans to know about our kind. It was the one law the Volturi insisted on. I shuddered at the thought of them, remembering the stories Mom, Dad and Papa Carlisle had told me about them. They were very refined individuals but had very little respect for human life. They believed they were superior beings and that humans were their only natural food source. I encountered them once. I remember being so frightened but remembered touching Aro's face. I showed him everything, who I was, where I came from and he was intrigued by me...but I didn't trust him. He was a monster, and he lusted after power more than anything. I could feel it in his demeanour.
I was lost in my thoughts again when I noticed Jake standing sheepishly in front of me. He clearly was nervous about how I'd greet him. I gave him a warm smile, took his hand, and led him into the bedroom so we could have a little privacy. I sat him on the bed and he looked at me intently, not sure what I was going to say.
"Jake, I want you to know that I've had a think about everything and I don't blame you or mom for what happened in your past. You, mom and dad all had a history before I came along and I know I came along unexpectedly and changed everything between you all. So even though it hurts that you loved her first, I know it doesn't change or diminish want we have now." He looked amazed and scratched his head.
"Wow, Ness. You really are a smartie pants. Not just book smart, but wise and beautiful too" he took my hand and kissed it, holding it up against his cheek. I braced myself to tell him the rest.
"I know we'll have an amazing future. I have so many plans and I've just been thinking the past few days, what if things will change again and we'll need to adjust these plans?"
Jake sighed. "Ness, it's just one history final and we agreed you can take a gap year for travelling before you enrol in the University of Alaska I'd you really want to. There's no rush. You're not on your own baby. It's you and me no matter what"
I took a deep breath. "it's not just going to be just you and me Jake" he looked confused and I looked down at my stomach and took his hand to place it there. Almost instantly, at his touch, the baby kicked. Jake gasped. He looked at me in disbelief and I nodded.
"When did you find out?" he asked.
"The night you and mom went to Forks" I replied.
"That was 2 days ago!" he replied annoyed. I tried to reassure him.
"i know honey, I just needed some time to speak with Dad. My head was all over the place"
"So he knew before me?" Jake growled.
"Jake please! It was an accident, we were hugging and he heard the baby" Dad explained.
Jake rolled his eyes, annoyed at dad's vampire traits.
"Please Jake, don't spoil this amazing moment. Our baby just kicked for you" I pleaded.
Jake's demeanour softened and he put his hand and ear to my belly. "yes you did, didn't you, our little bump?" I giggled as he said it and the baby kicked again.
"You are happy aren't you?" I asked nervously.
"Of course I am baby, I'm just in shock that's all. This wasn't exactly planned."
"Yeah i bet you're feeling a sense of de ja vu here" The words left my mouth before I had a chance to realise what I was saying. Jake nodded and tried not to laugh. I relaxed at that.
"So there's actually a special reason for this party then? A pregnancy announcement" he chuckled.
"And an engagement announcement" I asked showing off the ring. He grinned and pulled me in for a kiss.
There was a soft tap on the door. We turned and saw Aunt Alice's head peek round the door. Being as gifted as she was, she always knew the right moment to make an appearance. I smiled at her and she took that her cue to come in holding too very chic outfits for the pair of us. A blue sparkly dress for me and a matching blue suit for Jake. "Everyone's dressed up and ready for you two to join the party. I thought I'd pick out the perfect outfits for you."
I gave her a quick hug "they're gorgeous Auntie, thank you." She beamed a brilliant smile and closed the door.
I turned back to Jake and he took me in his arms flashing me a dashing smile that he knew I found irresistible "before we start celebrating with everyone, I think we should leave our clothes off for a while before changing into the new ones. I giggled in agreement.
"Yes stud, let's have our own private celebration first" with that, he kissed me hard and pulled me onto the bed.
Not long later, we had got dressed and were ready for the big celebration. I took his hand, feeling nervous about revealing everything but also feeling so happy at the news we had to share.
Everyone took the news extremely well. Carlisle and Esme came to hug us both and said "congratulations!" Emmett teased Edward at the prospect of being a grandad at the age of 17. Jasper snickered and Rosalie rolled her eyes at them. She took my hands in hers and looked me up and down "you're absolutely glowing sweet pea, we're so excited that you're getting married and we're getting another new addition to the family" she kissed me km boys cheeks and gave me a warm embrace. I was so grateful to have another maternal figure in Aunt Rosalie. She had always wanted to be a mother and I was so glad she was able to share in my mother's motherhood with me and would now be sharing special times with her great niece or nephew.
Alice approached us and said "Show me the ring" I flashed it to her proudly and she nodded with approval. She often had blind spots in her visions when it came to me and Jake so it was a nice surprise for her to see it for the first time like everyone else. Rosalie also gushed over the ring and they were so eager and excited to ask me a question that I just told them to out with it already.
"Could I be your wedding planner?" said Alice excitedly. "And can I be your maid of honour?" said Rosalie. I kissed them both on the cheek "yes and yes. I want the baby to be the ring bearer, so we'll need to wait a few months before we can have the ceremony. I'm sure that gives you both enough time to plan a spectacular day for us." They looked at one another and squealed with excitement, retreating to the dining room table to start make plans instantly. I laughed and noticed Jake had joined Dad and Papa Carlisle. They had concerned looks on their faces and it started to make me anxious. The fear soon subsided though and i noticed Jasper watching me in the corner. I thanked but with a weak smile. Jake glanced in my direction and came over to me. He looked concerned and I waited for him to speak.
"We've been talking honey, and I think we need to start making immediste plans for the baby's arrival. Carlisle needs to examine you"
After the party, Carlisle had all his equipment ready. He had worked at the Alaska state hospital in between leaving Forks when the family had to regularly switch locations so the humans wouldn't get suspicious about his lack of ageing. He had access to equipment there and brought everything he needed so he could properly examine me. It seemed like forever when he finally spoke.
"Well the good news is, the fetus seems compatible with your body. I don't detect any strain or pain. Your organs and vitals look good. There's nothing wrong with your bones, you're in perfect condition. But the birth might not be so easy..." he frowned.
I held onto Jake's hand and look at him worriedly. "what does the mean, doc?"
Carlisle sighed "it means that even though Ness is very strong and is able to carry the baby to full term within 28 days with very few issues, the baby will still need to break free rather than be birthed naturally"
"So what does that mean? You'll cut me open?" I asked.
"Sadly, no, not with a knife. Your skin is a strong as ours, like diamonds the only thing that can cut through it is teeth. It can either be mine or the baby's but if we wait for the baby to do it, it could be very dangerous for you both" I shuddered at the thought.
"No, you do it then Papa, please" I asked him. He nodded once and then to Dad and turned back to me. "We'll also need to give you morphine, Renesmee. Because of your 24th chromosome, it'll probably wear off due to the increase of your body temperature, like it does with Jake, but it will help make the pain somewhat bearable" I squeezed Jake's hand, starting to feeling very scared.
"I wonder." Dad pondered.
"what is it, Edward?" Mom said. She had been by my side, holding my other side and listening intently.
"I'm just wondering if we can ask the baby to give us a signal when it plans to make an appearance. Give us a little warning and maybe try and cause as little damage as possible. Ness understood us in the womb, I wonder if this little one could do the same"
Mom nodded and thought it was worth a shot. I did too. Anything to try and help this go as smoothly as possible. I knew it was hurt, that much was evident but I wanted to give the best chance for us both.
I put my hand on my belly and spoke softly "hello bump. I'm your mom. I'd just like to ask if you could give us a sign when you expect to make an appearance please. This birth is going to be very painful and difficult for us both, so please could you try and give me a warning of when you're coming so I know when we will expect you." Instantly, I heard felt three soft kicks. I was so surprised and amazed, tears started streaming down my face "I love you little bump" Dad listened and hand his hand on my belly too. He looked and me and confirmed something that made my heart leap with joy "bump loves you too. And Dad" he looked over at Jake who was smiling proudly. He kissed my forehead and I knew despite the unknown, everything would be okay.
There weeks later, on the evening of July 16th, I was settling down to sleep. Even though my body was stronger than mom's had been, the pregnancy still wore me down with tiredness.
Carlisle, Esme and Dad went to the hospital to stock up on blood ready for the birth.
The others had all gone to hunt. They knew now more than ever we all had to be at our strongest just in case something unexpected happened.
Jake stayed with me and was sleeping soundly next to me. I finished the last chapter of my book, switched the lamp off and settled down to sleep.
A short time later, I awoke to searing pain in my abdomen. It was a burning sensation that developed into stabbing pains in 30 second intervals.
I clutched my hand to my belly and instantly thought of bump "hey kid, I thought you said you'd give me a sign when this was happening". In immediate response to my comment, I felt three gentle kicks. I reacted quickly.
"Jacob, Jacob!" I nudged him awake with more force than I meant to.
Jake was on high alert and instantly had me in his arms, running with me to the medical room Carlisle had set up for me.
He laid me down and called Carlisle's cell. Fortunately, Carlisle was back in minutes and had everything he needed to assist the delivery.
The pain was getting worse by the minute and I could feel the baby struggle to be freed. Burning rushed through my body and the sharp pains were getting more intense that I couldn't help but cry out. This unnerved everyone as usually my pain intolerance was better than most.
"Edward, the morphine, Nessie's blood pressure is rising and the pain is getting too much. We need to act fast, this baby won't wait any longer" Carlisle stated urgently. I could hear the worry and panic in his voice which I found unsettling as Carlisle was usually so calm in a crisis.
Dad readied the morphine so Carlisle could instantly administer it as soon as the baby was delivered.
He gave me an apologetic look as he got his teeth ready in position. The pain was excruciating. I saw fear flash through everyone's eyes as they heard my blood curdling screams. The pain was so unbearable I had to fight every fibre of my being to not attack Carlisle, my natural instincts compelling me to protect myself.
The only relief I had was the cries of a new born baby. My bump had now entered the world and was making sure everyone knew about it.
Carlisle took the baby and placed it in Jacob's arms. "A boy!" Jacob choked, tears forming in his eyes. I smiled and wished I'd remember the moment forever.
The joy was short lived as the pain surged through me so fast I almost lost my vision. I heard voices shouting, Carlisle, Dad, Jacob...
I felt a rushing liquid through my body which started to alleviate the pain slightly but it didn't spare me for long. I thrashed and screamed for what seemed like forever. I then suddenly remembered my task wasn't finished.
I felt a plastic tube being shoved down my throat "drink ness, drink!" Dad pleaded. I did as I was told and found the sweet scented red liquid the most comforting thing I'd ever experienced among the worst pain of my life. I couldn't stop drinking, my animalistic urge took over as I craved the one thing my body desired above all else. The pain was getting better, I could feel my cells getting stronger as my body attempted to repair itself. The blood was my lifeline. My saviour. Aside from my child, I knew nothing could part me from it again.
I came round to Carlisle leaning over me. He seemed to be inspecting my stomach. "How am I looking down there?" I asked with a weak smile.
Carlisle smiled back "I have to hand it to you Ness. That 24th chromosome is certainly something. Your regenerative ability like Jacob's is simply extraordinary.
I knew Jacob was extraordinary but I never imagined that in some things we were as much alike as we were different. "Thank you Dr Cullen. Your medical care is the most extraordinary of all" I replied.
Carlisle kissed my forehead and turned round to greet Jacob, Mom and Dad who were so relieved to see me awake.
"Sweetheart, how are you?" mum said with a concerned look.
"Fine mom, where is my baby? Is bump okay?"
"He's doing well" Jacob answered. "Blondie is feeding him as we speak"
He? My baby. A boy. A perfect boy. I tried to sit up but everyone in unison cautioned me to lay back down.
"Get me Rose! Tell her to bring him to me, I have to see him!" I pleaded.
Jacob and Dad glanced nervously at each other. Mum was the first to respond
"Let her see him. I waited far too long to see my Renesmee, I don't want her being distressed like I was"
Reluctantly, Jacob went to fetch Rose.
I felt like my heart had stopped when I first saw him. He was the most beautiful boy with chestnut hair, caramel skin and cherry lips. I cradled him in my arms as he was handed to me and saw those deep chocolate brown eyes. I gasped.
"It's you!" I exclaimed. He smiled up sweetly at me as if to understand exactly what I meant.
Everyone else unknowingly watched our encounter.
Jacob was talking about the newest member of pack with enhanced abilities that would cause any pale stranger to shudder.
Rose handed me a bottle to feed him. I watched in awe as the drank the liquid as swift as I had given it to him.
"So..." Alice piped up, joining the group as the bloody mess had been cleared up to ensure all this was a vamp friendly zone "have you thought of names yet?"
My eyes met with Jacob's and he smiled to signal it was time.
"Nuka" I announced. All vampires looked at each other in confusion.
"It means little brother in the Inuit language" Jacob explained.
"Jacob's pack are his brothers. It seemed fitting if this boy will one day run with wolves" I added.
"It's perfect" said Esme who flashed us a beautiful smile. "We are all brothers and sisters in our clans"
"I agree" said Carlisle putting his arm round Esme smiling.
Nuka sighed and settled down to sleep in my arms, as if he too was content with his name.
Jacob smiled proudly and leaned down to kiss my forehead. My eyes started to feel heavy and I quickly realised my body was still exhausted from the huge ordeal that was Nuka's birth.
Jacob responded instantly and took Nuka from my arms. I would have protested but a wave of exhaustion passed over me and I soon found myself in a deep sleep.
I blinked and was back in the meadow. The temperature was cooler than in my previous dream.
Mom and Dad were there this time. They were towering over a creature. A stag. It lay motionless as mom and Dad took their sustenance from it. They turned to me and smiled with bloody grins.
I shuddered and walked over to them. They gestured to the deer to show there was still some left for me.
I was about to drink when something made my head look up instinctively. Like an animal urge. What was it? That smell? It was so sweet and delicious.
Without thinking, I made a break for the forest. My legs moved instinctually. I felt like I didn't even have control over my body.
It was then I stopped in my tracks. I saw him again. The beautiful boy from my first dream. I knew him but I didn't know him?
I looked closer to see what was in a lump on the floor in front of him. It wasn't an animal. My throat burned with thirst. I gasped.
I woke up in a cold sweat. Mom was in the corner of the living room, in front of the fire, feeding Nuka.
I got the sweet smell lingering in my nose and mouth and instantly panicked.
"What are you feeding him mom?" I demanded.
Mom looked over and smiled "oh, we had some left over from the birth. It needs using and Nuka seems to turn his nose up at everything else."
I replied angrily without thinking "No, do not feed him that. He needs to get used to animal blood as soon as possible. Why would you do something so risky?"
Mom's jaw dropped. Dad quickly joined her side.
"Nessie, what is wrong with him feeding this way for a while? It never did you any harm" Dad said with a mixture of concern and confusion in his voice.
"He is my son and I want him on food or animal blood! Don't argue with me!" I hissed angrily, tears brimming in my eyes.
Mom and Dad turned and stared at me, frozen where they stood. They glanced at each other and Mom headed for the door with Nuka.
Dad came over to me and sat on the bed. His expression looked worried.
"Renesmee, my sweet, what's wrong?" He said, putting his hand against my cheek.
Without thinking, I told him everything "I've been dreaming Dad. Dreaming about blood lust. I don't know why, I just hate this human diet so much.
He sighed as if he was unsurprised. "It's natural Ness. Blood is what keeps us strong, so I don't blame you at all for craving blood. Especially during pregnancy when that's what Nuka would have wanted."
"I just...don't want him to get confused and so tempted by it all" I said. "I want him to be normal, feel normal, you know?"
Dad kissed my forehead and pulled me into his arms "I know Ness, god knows that's all I ever wanted for your mother...a normal life. Even if she did insist she wanted to be in my world, this strange world"
I smiled and sighed. Dad was so understanding about wanting a human life. To fit in everywhere and just feel like you were the same as everyone else. Hell, there were times I wished I was fully human. That I couldn't betray my memories in one touch.
"You have a powerful gift Ness you know that don't you? And it makes you special, not a freak" dad whispered.
"I know that Dad. I just wish sometimes that I was just like everyone else. Because I just want that normal life. I wanted to grow up slower, to savour every minute I had with my grandpa Charlie and Sue. I wanted to see Jake's brothers more, Jake's father Billy. I miss them all so much" tears streamed down my face and my dad started to get emotionally.
"Believe me Ness I would have given you all those things if I could have" dad hugged me tighter. "I'd give you all my years as a vampire if it meant it could give you more time with the family."
We stayed that way for a long time. Dad comforted me so much, it was strange how I felt so in sync with him. Even more so than with Mom but not that I loved him any more. Just that our bond was different.
"I promise Ness, we'll try not to make the same mistakes with Nuka. We won't have him say goodbye to anyone as much as we can help it"
"That's all I want Dad, thank you" I replied.
Time passed and Jake came into the room. Dad smiled and got up to let Jake take his place. Jake smiled and sat down and gave me the biggest hug. I kissed him briefly and laid against his chest.
"So, what's all the drama Nessie, my girl" he asked playIng with a strand of my hair. I punched him lightly and giggled. "It's fine, just half vamp stuff. Complications being this weird and wonderful hybrid breed."
Jake's body stiffened. "I understand you know Nessie"
I looked up at him and waited. "I don't like the whole blood craving thing either" he continued "The fact that you can go on a human diet if you need to, just makes me feel so much more at ease and I want Nuka to be on a human diet as soon as possible. Not even animal blood if we can help it"
I thought this over. I knew saying no to blood entirely wouldn't be easy. Making Nuka have human food without blood at all. When the rest of the family would hunt, it would be tricky. But deep down, I knew Jake was right. I certainly didn't want to see what had been in my dream. I shuddered.
Jake held me tighter and looked down on my face. "So beautiful" he said stroking my hair and face. I smiled up at him and he kissed me softly on the lips. The fire started to burn again and I kissed him deeper, wanting more. He pulled away. "Not now Ness, you know you need to recover" he said with a reluctant gaze.
I ignored him and gestured to the door. "lock it" I said with a wicked smile. Jake groaned, didn't even hesitate and instantly locked the door then turned back to join me on the bed.
It was the best pleasure I'd ever felt, even after having Nuka. It has been 4 weeks since we'd been close and I yearned for Jake more than anything else in the world.
I had only been wearing a hospital gown so there wasn't much to take off. Jake only wore Jeans and those quickly came off once we got started.
The lovemaking really worked for getting me back into the land of the living. I got Jake to go fetch me some clothes and got dressed to meet the family in the kitchen. Eyes were all on me, looking sheepish as if they knew what we had been up to. Being subtle had never been Jake's or my strong point.
Dad didn't look too pleased, neither did Mom but Uncle Emmett and Jasper had grins on their faces.
Rose came in, blissfully unaware with Nuka in her arms. I saw his face and instantly rushed to him with my arms out. He wanted me instantly and held his arms out too. I swept him up into my arms and took in his scent. He smelt amazing and so perfect. I kissed his head and cuddled him close, turning away from everyone else and headed for the living room.
Jake looked confused but Dad smiled and said "let's give Mommy and Nuka some time to bond, shall we?" They all went out to walk, and no doubt talk more about what our future plans would be.
I sat with Nuka in my arms and watched him sleep. He was so tiny and perfect, I couldn't imagine my life with him not in it now. I felt a burning inside me throat though. Somehow being around Nuka only strengthened my own desire for blood. I really didn't understand why. I didn't want to drink from him, heaven forbid, but I did want it.
His eyes opened and he stared up at me. I decided to test the waters with giving him food and so got some milk from the fridge. He wrinkled his nose at this and wouldn't take it. I got some animal blood left from emergency stash and he protested and first but then began to drink. I sighed. This was a better result than human blood but I knew Jake wouldn't exactly be happy with it.
I settled Nuka down to sleep in his cot upstairs and sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room to catch up with my emails on my mobile app.
I saw an email from the local company where I was meant to start my internship with 3 weeks ago. They said there had been a delay with paperwork so had to delay my start date for the following month so asked if I wanted to join them in three days. I sighed and looked longingly at Nuka. I wanted to do this internship but also never wanted to be away from Nuka. I was being pulled in both directions when it came to what I wanted. I loved Nuka more than my own life but I knew I had to build a life for myself, for us all so we could be a proper family and do normal stuff and have normal jobs.
Mom interrupted my thoughts "Having trouble making a decision?" she asked. I looked at her confused.
"I've been watching your expressions since the day you were born baby...I know exactly what you think without having to read your mind" she said and came over to sit on the floor in front of me. She was surprisingly quiet when she walked which was a vampire trait.
I sighed. 'I don't know mom, they've said the position for assistant photographer is still open if I want it, I just don't know whether it's best to give this up with everything that has happened"
Mom listened and thought before she responded. "if you're thinking about it this much then it probably means you still want to do this"
"How do you know that?" I asked intrigued.
"Ness, waiting a few years before I started university was not even a problem for me. I didn't think twice about staying home with you and raising you those first few years. Because that's all I wanted to do at that point. If this is in the back of your head, it probably means you want it more than you think and that's nothing to be ashamed of" she answered.
I slipped off the chair, kneeling in front of her and gave her a forceful hug which would have knocked any human of their feet. I loved Mom so much and was so thankful for her to be there to give expert advice when I needed it. She laughed and hugged me back. As we eventually let it each other go, i asked her a question I thought I'd never ask "do you miss your mom"
Mum gave a pained expression and turned away. "You've no idea Ness...but she can't be part of this world. It would be too much for her to understand" she said solemnly.
"Is it because of the Volturi?" I quizzed. Mum scoffed "No, not them. The hypocrites. It's just everything. Why I never visited. How different I look now. You. She would ask too many questions and couldn't do the need to know basis your Grandpa does. She'd have to know everything"
"But you said goodbye to her, to have this life, to be with Dad?" I asked.
"Yes" she replied "because being with him was the life I chose. The life I knew was the right path for me. It was hard saying goodbye to my old life but so much harder living without your Dad for that short period of time. He was and is still my other half. There was never going to be the future without him that I dreamt about"
I contemplated Mom's life choices. She said goodbye to so many people because of the family she chose to be a part of. I knew Nuka would have to live a life away from a world that my mother had grown up in. I wanted badly for him to have a normal human life but somehow realised that couldn't be the way I imagined it.
"Anyway, changing subject" mom carried on. "You'll need to give them an answer soon if there expecting you"
I groaned. "what about Jake?" I asked.
Mom rolled her eyes "don't worry about him, he'll do what he has to do to support you both. It's what this bullshit imprinting this is all about"
I sighed and massaged my forehead. "right, I guess I better talk to him" i got up and went to find him leaving mom to guard my precious boy.
After a make out session that got out of hand, we were lying on bed in a hot and rumpled heap. "Ready for round two?" Jacob asked huskily with fire in his eyes.
I laughed. "In a minute stud, I said" sitting up. Jake responded and sat up, showing he was ready to have an actual conversation.
I started talking before he had the chance to do or say anything else "I got an email from the local company about the internship. They've said I can start in three days to work over the summer initially"
Jake looked confused and continued to listen "I understand that it really isn't the best timing right now having had Nuka but I really want to make a go of continuing with plans of some sort. To have a normal life and not put everything on hold"
Jake sighed and propped his head up with his arm "I understand that Ness but don't you think you're taking things a little quickly. And Nuka will grow up really fast are you sure you want to miss any time with him?"
My heart started to ache then, I hadn't thought of that.
"I just want to keep some of these plans and just see how it goes with work" I replied "I don't want to rely on Mom and Dad's money, I want some independence you know?"
"Oo look at my Nessie becoming a strong and independent woman" Jacob growled playfully trying to climb onto me. I giggled and pushed him away "I'm serious Jake...I really want us to be a self sufficient family"
"I know Ness, I know and I love you all the more for that. I just want you to make this decision for yourself. We've got the whole family supporting us to keep our boy happy and safe. Hell, he's my joint number one person to protect now, and I will with my life, you know that" he nuzzled into my ear.
It was getting difficult to concentrate on the conversation with his breath so hot and heavy on my skin. "okay, I'll do it" I whispered with his face inches away from mine. "Good" he breathed, "so now you have assurance I'll be taking care of our son, will you now take care of me?" he asked breathing heavily
"Like you need to ask" I said and quickly got on top of him.
"Mmm yes baby" Jacob eyed me up greedily and pulled me down to kiss him hard.
Afterwards, we collapsed in each other's arms in total bliss. I really did not know how I was going to get enough of Jake in this lifetime.
We got dressed and joined the others. Carlisle and Esme were talking about the possibility of moving closer to us in Alaska as there was a position vacant at the local hospital.
"It would make sense for us all to be closer. Nuka is even more unique than Renesmee and I think it would be good for us to stay a while and see how he grows" Carlisle explained.
There was no objections from me, if anything I loved the idea of them all being closer. It would mean though that ties with Forks would have to be cut for the time being.
Dad looked my way "I know Nessie, it's not easy for us to stay away completely from where you were born"
Mum joined him and held his held. She didn't look too happy that we would have to be saying goodbye to Grandpa for a while, but she knew the choices she'd made, and that she had to stand by them.
Jacob joined in the conversation "we are grateful Carlisle but really don't think you need to stay out of concern. We'll raise Nuka fine and protect him with our lives. We don't need everyone here to monitor him like some sort of science experiment-"
"Jacob!" I barked. "They are family and they're as welcome as long as they'd like to be, so don't be so dismissive of their offer." Everyone looked at me shocked and mom smiled. She always had a soft spot for Carlisle and the rest of the clan and during these uncertain times it did seem best to stick together.
"We don't want to cause conflict between anyone" Esme said looking concerned.
"You're not Esme" I assured her. "You are our family, Nuka's family and all I want for him is to have a happy life and grow knowing he is so loved"
Jacob came over to me and gave me an apologetic look whilst squeezing my hand.
"So it's settled. I will apply for the position tomorrow and should hear back within the week" Carlisle answered.
First day of work
I chose my outfit from my wardrobe ready for my first day as assistant photographer. I sighed as I chose a red dress with trimmed with blue cuffs and collar. Unlike Mom, I loved Aunt Alice's shopping trips. We had a similar style and I just loved being able to spend some quality time with her and Aunt Rose.
I felt a pang of guilt as I looked over at Nuka's cot. He was still sleeping soundly, he was the best baby in the world when it came to sleeping through the night. Ironic really. I felt a pair of strong warm arms wrap around my waist "all ready for your first day?" Jacob breathed in my ear. I turned round and kissed him hard. "I am not dressed yet" I replied. Jake flashed me a wicked smile. "well if it wasn't for Junior sleeping right there, I'd certainly help you out" he said looking me up and down. I giggled and pushed him away "Go on go and get Rose, Nuka will be due for a feed soon and I know you aren't over the moon by the arrangement
Jake sighed. He hated the fact that Nuka was drinking animal blood but it was the better alternative to human blood. As if he heard the mention of food, Nuka opened his eyes and started to moan impatiently. Rose was here in a flash with a bottle in her hand. "i'm here hungry boy, come on let's leave your mom to dress in peace" she scooped Nuka up in her arms and was out the door as quickly as she entered.
I called Jake back up and locked the door behind him. Without hesitation, he started to undress me and we collapsed on our bed ready for a morning session.
We got slightly carried away and had several rounds. I looked at my watch and realised I was running late.
"Damn, I'll be late now!" I said rushing round the room trying to get ready quickly"
"Worth it though" Jacob winked and sneaked out of the room.
I sighed and look myself over in the mirror. I could see the anxiety on my face but tried to ignore it.
I went downstairs and saw a familiar scene. Dad at the table working and mom making breakfast. I took some food, gave mom a quick kiss and headed out the door.
I heard a shriek as I was about the leave. Nuka in the corner started to cry as he saw me leaving. I felt even more guilty and rushed over to him to give him a quick cuddle and kiss. As I tried to hand him back to Rose, he started to cry and I was having second thoughts.
"Is it too much for him? Should I stay?"
"No sweetie, he needs to get used to this" Rose replied. I sighed and knew she was right. Whilst I was doing my internship, all the family agreed to stay with us just so they could settle Nuka in to a routine. Hopefully with everyone around him, he would get distracted enough to not miss me so much.
I turned away from my boy and left before I could change my mind.
The first day went well. I assisted the head photographer and a photo shoot and took notes when I had the chance. The day seemed like a whirlwind of creativity, meeting new people, learning new things and working on new projects.
I almost forgot about my home life for the day. But as soon as I was out the studio, I ran home to see my little boy.
He was giggling as Jake was blowing raspberries on his chest. Everyone else found it funny too, no one had been so boisterous and hands on with me in terms of play time. Jake would always be a kid at heart.
Nuka shrieked in delight when he saw me. He started to toddle over to me and everyone gasped. The first time he had done that.
"At a week old, that's even earlier than you Ness" Dad exclaimed.
I picked him up and twirled Nuka round and round. I was so proud of my clever boy and was so pleased I hadn't missed this precious moment. I did miss him dearly though and made a decision which I felt was right for me.
I sent an email to my boss to confirm I could only do the internship three times a week due to family commitments. They were understanding and allowed it.
When I explained my decision to the family, they all smiled. "You're doing the right thing Renesmee" mom assured me. "I wouldn't have missed your milestones for anything"
After I fed Nuka and put him to bed, I reviewed the snapshots from the shoot today. I started on my assignment as I knew I would have alot of work only working 3 days a week but with the same workload which was my decision. I wanted all the experience possible.
Jake came to kiss me and I shooed him away before he could become a distraction. I carried on with my assignment until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. Jake found me lying with my arm across the laptop keyboard and he gently moved my arm to prize the laptop out of my weak grip. I briefly recall hearing his perfect soft voice in my ear "that's it momma wolf, sleep soundly. You've got a long day tomorrow" he kissed my cheek and I drifted off into a blissful sleep.
The next morning went by in a blur. I assisted the lead photographer in the photo shoots and did some promo work assigned to try and attract a new client base. I didn't have a chance to clock watch and miss Nuka as it was 5pm before I knew it.
Nuka, Dad and Papa Carlisle were playing with a new toy Aunt Rose had bought him. I loved how he was so inquisitive but also so careful with things that he new he owned. Jake was playing video games with Edward and Jasper, their competitive streaks evident, and filled the room with laughter. Esme, Rose and Alice were busy discussing wedding details at the dining room table. I watched the happy scene and wanted to freeze time. Everything felt so perfect, I thought things were getting back on track and knew that having Nuka was one of the best things that has ever happened to us. Jake and I had been on such a roller coaster the past few months. I couldn't believe how lucky we were to have one another. To have a family who adored us and would always be there no matter what. I couldn't have pictured a brighter future if I tried. Everything was wonderful. That was until i spied a pristine silver package on the living room coffee table.
I opened the package that and found a silver rattle accompanied with a card. The calligraphy on the card was extremely refined. I read the card and instantly froze.
Mom noticed and came over to see what was going on "What's that sweetie?"
I could barely speak, but everyone started to gather round as they noticed something was wrong. I looked at Dad who was holding Nuka. He looked for Rose and she was by his side instantly holding her arms out to take Nuka. I nodded thanks and she took him out for his nap.
I looked back at the note and read it aloud for everyone to hear "Congratulations on your newest arrival, dearest Renesmee. He is indeed a unique hybrid who we are very eager to meet. Bring the child to visit us or we'll come to you"
"Over my dead body!" Jake roared. I reached out to him and he put his arm around me whilst peering to read the note. His grip tightened on me as I felt him getting angrier, hotter.
"Jake, baby, please calm down!" I urged kissing the side of his head. He took a deep breath to stop himself from involuntary phasing. I needed him in human form for this, he could let off steam later.
"It's understandable for the Volturi to want to meet him. He literally represents two immortal enemies along with the human side that the two supernatural sides fight over" said Carlisle softly.
It was a logical conclusion but I didn't want to think logically right now. My boy was in potential danger and that was something I couldn't bear. Something I'd willingly kill for. I couldn't believe they were intruding on our perfect life. So early on, when we were only just getting used to this new wonderful life we'd made. I was ready to fight. Ready to fight to protect my boys.