A Katarina Interlude

"Absolutely not!"

"It's far too dangerous!"

"This isn't practice, sister! Those men will have real swords!"

"Lady Katarina, please stay here where it's safe."

"Thar's right, Lady Katarina! Let the boys be the ones to go over there and get stabbed!"

"""Hey!"""

Katarina blinked. "Eh? But I thought the king every sword. Isn't that what you said, Prince Jeffery?"

"Yes, I did in fact say that," Prince Jeffery said with a nod and a smile.

Katarina nodded as well as if that settled everything. "Well, there you go! Prince Jeffery agrees with me."

"He said nothing of the sort!"

"Entertaining as this talk is, we should get moving, little brothers," the First Prince said, sounding like a proper big brother. "Father is near and if we don't move to meet him now it's going to look like we're weak and indecisive. Come on, brothers. Ian, you can continue doing that later."

Reluctantly, Ian and Selena separated, drawing apart and letting their hands drop from each other as if it was physically painful to do so. "I'll be back," Ian said, his voice deep from breathlessness.

"I know you will," Selena said, equally breathless. They started leaning towards each other…

"No, no, none of that," Susanna Randall said, physically interposing her hand between their mouths. That earned her glares from the two. Selena's glare in particular was near-villainous in its intensity. "We just got you two to stop, please don't start again. Don't look at me like that. Duty to the kingdom now, indulging your personal desires later."

"Go try jumping, Susanna Randall!" Selena said. Katarina winced at the foul hex. Her training with Maria had involved learning just how nasty it was to say that. it was like putting flowers on someone's desk!

"Selena, that was foul language…" Ian panted, moving—

"No, no, none of that!" Susanna Randall said. "What did I just say? Selena, consider what it means when I'm the one of the two of us who sounds reasonable!"

Selena glowered at her, and with visible reluctance stepped back. "Later, my Ian," she said. "I will wait breathlessly for your return."

"I will be swift, my Selena…"

"Yes, yes, let the debuff bar shrink down…" Susanna Randall said, her hand still upraised at mouth level until Ian backed away far enough.

With determined faces, the four princes, Nicol, Keith and Katarina strode to join the king, knights and armed nobles that had gathered around him.

"Wait, Lady Katarina, not you—urk!"

"Oh, leave it be, Hunt," Katarina heard Susanna Randall say, sounding like she was holding Mary back. "From what I've heard, she's been training to be a squire, which is a lot more than can be said for you or any of those boys. You too, Ascart."

Ah, thank you Susanna! This wasn't something Mary and Sophia should get involved with. They weren't properly trained swordy people, after all, not like Katarina.

The exclamation made all the boys turn around to see her at the back of the group, however. "Sister, we talked about this!" Keith said, pointing behind her. "Go back to the others this instant!"

"Nope," Katarina said. Really, sometimes he forgot who was the little brother and who was the big sister.

"My dear Katarina, we are not playing now!" the black-hearted prince said. She hadn't thought they were. That had been real blood! Those people had really gotten hurt! "For the love of Alsanna, stop following us and go back!"

"But we I have a sword, and every sword is—"

"Quiet," Prince Ian said sharply. Then, in a slightly raised voice, "Sire. We apologize for the delay."

All the boys immediately went quiet as they realized where they were. Really, that was silly of them to not pay attention.

"My sons," the king acknowledged. He didn't slow in his calm walking pace as he continued to lead the way towards where the La Sablicans were blocking the way to the door, some of the heads of the other delegations walking on either side of him, trailed by the knights and armed nobles from their own delegations.. Nobles and knights around the parted to make way for the boys. Prince Jeffery, Ian and Alan moved to stand slightly behind the king, Alan and an nodding to Dame Maria who was walking slightly ahead of them, while the Third Prince paused, looking towards Katarina, until Keith let out a loud sigh and took Katarina's hand, pulling her towards father, standing slightly behind the king with the other dukes—or duchess, in the case of Duchess Silverburg. Nicol moved to stand next to his father at the king's side opposite Maria, who instead of holding a longsword was wielding a rapier. Huh. That meant he was a... a dex-build, right?

"Keith. Katarina," Father said quietly, his usual happy smile muted, but what he did have left was very warm as he directed it at them. "I'm glad you're safe." He was holding a hammer that he hadn't bought with him, and from the look of it had probably been borrow from one of the New Catarina knights. Next them, Uncle Henryk nodded, while Cousin Mashu hed a clenched fist to her side, a gesture of quiet resolve.

"Glad you're safe too, father," Keith said. "Cousin Matthew could you take care of big sister? She decided just because she has a sword she had to join us!"

Cousin Mashu frowned for some reason. "Keith—" she began.

"My squire," Dame Maria's voice said. It was a low, subtle voice, barely audibly, but Katarina heard it nonetheless. "Come here." Her finger flicked briefly to point next to her.

"Yes, Dame Campbell!" she said promptly, pulling out of a surprised Keith's grip—he really needed to put points into strength—to move to the indicated space. After a moment, she realized she was supposed to draw her sword, so she did so. There was blood on it—and probably inside the sheath as well—because she'd been such a hurry to get back to Hyetta that she hadn't wiped it clean before sticking it back in. Dame Campbell glanced at the blood on her sword but said nothing, even though Katarina was already wincing at the lecture about taking proper care of her sword, and that if she didn't remember to clean off the blood, it could become cold and crystalize and jam inside her sheath. She didn't know blood did that, but if Maria said so, then it probably happened, and she'd always just washed it off before it could.

She saw the king glance sideways at Dame Maria. "Lady Claes," he said. Behind him, Alan and his twin brother were making all sorts of funny faces. Keith was trying to reach for her, only to be held back by Cousin Mashu holding the back of his jacket.

"Hi, your Majesty," she said, almost raising a hand to wave before catching herself, and instead doing a bow. Since they were all still walking towards he door, she had to do it while walking sideways, but she didn't trip.

"A surprise, to see you joining us. Should your squire really be here, my knight?"

"Yes, your majesty" Maria said. "Have no fear, it shall not hamper my ability to protect you."

The king stared at Maria for a bit. "Well, on your head be it, my knight," he said, looking ahead again.

There was a beat.

"Wait, since when has your daughter been a squire, Luigi?" one of the nobles behind them said.

"Oh, for some time now. Did I forget to mention it?" Father said.

"Really a squire, or just one of those 'put them through hard training to until they change their mind and quit' squireships?"

"I'm told the latter is traditionally a part of the former."

"… what, really?"

"Yes. it keeps out the casuls who don't want to stay and git gud," Cousin Mashu said.

"… I have an apology to make later once we're done here… "

Huh? Hard training? What hard training? The only hard training had been the etiquette stuff, and thanks too Shana teaching her it wasn't so bad anymore. not like when she'd been studying by herself and the days had run together and nothing seemed to stay in her head and…

Katarina shook her head—banish, memories of studying!—as she two-handed her sword, holding it in her preferred low guard. Anyway, there'd been no hard training. All the training had been easy to do, all she needed to do was swing her sword or sometimes thrust with sword, or something spear, or sometimes swing 'heavy thing on a stick'. There was nothing hard about that! she was a farmer, that was basically just winging her hoe!

The walk was comparatively slow. People walked ahead of them, checking the people fallen on the ground. some of them were helped up or carried, and a few who'd lost their heads had their heads brought back to them and gently placed on their necks. Those people didn't stir, probably still asleep, but they'll probably be glad. Back when she'd dreamed she was a zombie idol, it had always been confusing when her head and body were separated and she hadn't known where her body was.

The ones left on the ground, they all carefully stepped over as they walked. After all, it would be rude to disturb their nap. Many were face-down, their hair done up in special hairdos, but Katarina still recognized. There was Lady Feng, and over there were Lord Siegeev and Lady Siegey. Lady Anelace with her sword in hand, a bloody hole in her back. Dame Jessica surrounded by several fallen La Sablicans with her formal short spear bloody and fallen next to her…

Katarina hoped they woke up And if they didn't wake up, she hoped they ended up reincarnating in a nice videogame where they weren't the villainess. Something where nothing bad ever happens to anyone, like… uh…

…uh…

Ah, Story of Seasons! In hindsight, the farming games were clearly the best games! No violence, no villainesses to get bad ends, lots of cuties to romance… a pity they never seemed to have harem golden endings, but at least the those you don't choose always have a backup romance waiting to make them happy! Yes, she hoped everyone was reincarnated into a nice, chill farming game!

Or they woke up. That would be nice too.

Katarina kept glancing at Dame Maria, who was constantly looking around, even glancing up. Katarina had looked up as well, but didn't see anything—oh, wait, those were walkways up there! Ah, she remembered, you could walk on the rafters of the ball room to reach the rooftop balconies above so you could climb up onto the roof and from there head to the observatory, where you could take the ladder down to…

There were black-armored forms up there, members of the Royal Guard. There weren't a lot of them, and they didn't seem to have way down. It must have been awful for them, being stuck up there and not being able to help as the fighting had happened. She didn't recognize anyone–it was too far up—but after this was over maybe she could ask Maria for some treats to send them? Or if Maria was busy, Katarina could try sending them friend vegetables instead…

A hand grabbed the back of her armor, and Katarina stopped walking. Ah!, she'd been so distracted looking up she hadn't realized they'd stopped walking! She gave Dame Maria a grateful smile, only to be met with an unamused look. Oops, she should have been paying attention to where she was going. Ugh, that probably meant 'pay attention to your surroundings' training when they got home. Well, at least she always remembered to check if someone was hiding in the corner or behind the door when she walked past.

"La Sablicans!" the King said, his voice loud like he was talking through a megaphone. "Surrender and stand down or face my wrath!"

"Never!" someone wearing an expensive-looking suit cried from behind the armed La Sablicans. He was so bland-looking is artwork probably didn't have eyes, just a shadow under his hair. "We fight for the glory of La Sable, for our glorious Lord Presider! We will bring La Sable to greatness once more, for the armies of La Sable are the mightiest in the world! The time is nigh! Our mighty armies will sweep over the continent and bring you all to heel!"

Behind a confused Katarina, she heard some people snickering. She leaned towards Dame Maria, speaking quietly. "I thought La Sable hasn't won a single one of the wars it's started in the last hundred years? That's what they said in the lecture, right?" For some reason, there was more snickering behind her.

"Yes, my squire, that is in fact what we learned," Maria said.

"That's not really mighty, is it?"

"Perhaps they measure might differently in La Sable, my squire. They do things differently there as I recall."

Before Katarina could ask anything else, the king continued, "We have taken several of your delegation staff prisoner. Will you not negotiate to ensure their safety?"

"La Sable does not negotiate with weaklings! Anything you have, we will take with the sword!"

"Even if the Lord Presider is among them?"

For some reason, that was met with a laugh. "Ha! You think I'm a fool? The Lord Presider would never have been captured by you. This silly trick reveals only your desperation!"

Off to the side, the Queen from Xiarmah sighed. "I miss the old Lord Presiders. Their staff were actually competent."

"We all do," the Queen from New Catarina said.

The king didn't seem to hear them. "One last chance, men and women of La Sable! Lay down your weapons and surrender, and I promise you your lives."

"Why bother when we can take yours?" came the sneering reply.

The king nodded. "Young Lord Claes."

"Y-yes, your majesty?" came Keith's surprised voice.

"You have my permission to damage the floor and walls in using your Earth Magic."

There was a moment's pause.

Then the stone of the floor in the middle of the group of La Sablicans cracked. They fell over, letting out cries of surprise as one of Keith's big dirt dolls made of rock rose from the stone floor. Ah, wait, that would be a rock doll, wouldn't it? It's arms began flailing around wildly, sending men flying.

"Charge! For the glory of—!"

There was a loud sound, and the voice cut off as Maria put away the gun she'd just pulled out of nowhere! Holy shit, Maria had a gun?-! What kind of proper heroine had a gun? Heroines didn't use guns, they had bows or swords or magic staffs or naginata or spells! Guns were for bad emo protagonists of shitty isekai stories who wore all black and long leather coats and had harems they didn't realize they had and dual-wielded swords and… and…

…

Wait…

…

MARIA WAS AN EMO PROTAGONIST?!

(+100 Insight)

A/N: I apologize Musse, Juna.