Please, Stop Growing
[March 2000. Malone's house. Nighttime]
(Dressed in a sexy lingerie nightie and with a playful smile, Diane sprays a bit of perfume over their bedroom and gets into bed impatiently to wait for Sam, who had gone to put the kids to bed. Since they were parents, they cherished their alone time even more, and tried to make time for them whenever they could. However, to Diane's surprise, it was Elizabeth who walked through the door that night. Now that the girl was three years old, her resemblance to her mother was striking. When Diane saw her daughter enter the room holding A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, she startled a little and quickly covered herself with the duvet)
Diane: (Somewhat nervous) L-Lizzie... What are you doing here?
Lizzie: Daddy fell asleep in my bed and didn't finish reading me the book.
(Diane, hearing the little girl, smiles resignedly and lifts the duvet on Sam's side to indicate to her daughter to get into bed with her. Elizabeth smiles at the sight of her and curls up next to Diane and Becky. At the sight of her mother's "pajamas", the little girl looks up into her eyes)
Lizzie: Mommy, aren't you cold in those clothes?
(Diane, hearing this, blushes a little, embarrassed, and smiles nervously)
Diane: Yes, a little.
Lizzie: Why don't you change into a warm pajamas before you read me the story? Otherwise you'll sneeze on the cake and blow out the candles tomorrow.
(Hearing the girl, Diane laughs, gets up and opens the closet to look for something more appropriate, since she already considered the night of passion lost)
Making your way in the world today
takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries
sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you wanna go
where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see
our troubles are all the same.
You wanna be where everybody knows your name.
You wanna go where people know
people are all the same.
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.
[Malone's house. Morning]
(When Sam wakes up and turns around, he laughs at the sight of his daughter staring at him with messy hair, wide eyes and a smile)
Sam: I love that you took after your mom (laughs).
(After stroking the little girl's hair a bit and giving her a little kiss on the top of her head, Sam gets up and goes to the living room with her, where he finds Diane serving breakfast)
Lizzie: (Happy) Pancakes! (Runs to the table and sits down to eat)
Diane: Where's Ernie?
Sam: Sleeping, I'll wake him up.
(At that moment, their son comes out of the bedroom followed by the dog and clutching his teddy bear, still more asleep than awake. At the sight of him, his parents laugh tenderly and exchange a glance. Without needing to speak, the two realized they were thinking the same thing. Years ago they had practiced with Woody's son to make sure they were able to take care of a child; now that that was their everyday life, they could not be happier nor would they change it for anything)
(...)
(As soon as they finish breakfast, the two kids run off to play. At that moment, Sam and Diane exchange glances and go to the kitchen. When they return, they bring back a box each)
Sam and Diane: Happy birthday.
Ernie and Lizzie: (Happy) Presents! (They hug them) Thank you very much!
(First, the kids open the small box, from which they take out a box with a lot of colored pencils, a box with crayons, a box with watercolors, paintbrushes, a box with chalk, two blackboards and two easels)
Lizzie: Thank you, Mommy! (Hugs her) I'm going to make lots of pretty paintings with this.
(Hearing the little girl, her parents laugh)
Ernie: I want to paint Toby and Becky and Lizzie.
Diane: (Smiles) I can't wait to see that.
(When they open the other box, they both pull out two matching baseball uniforms, two balls, two helmets and two gloves. When they are about to take out the bats, Sam stops them)
Sam: Let me help you. (He takes them out and gives them to them)
Ernie: (Happy) Baseball stuff! Now I'm going to be just like you, Daddy!
Sam: (Laughs) Well, you're going to have to practice a lot to get me.
Diane: (Annoyed) Sam...!
Sam: What?
(Diane looks at him as if to say "Let the boy be a boy, don't brag")
Ernie: I've already practiced a lot.
(Hearing this, Sam and Diane look at him puzzled)
Sam: Where?
Ernie: In my dreams.
Sam: Ah! (Laughs) Well, being good in dreams doesn't mean you're good in real life. Everything is possible in our dreams.
Ernie: But I've practiced a lot! I'm really good! I'll show you!
(Frustrated and determined to prove to his father that he can play, Ernie runs into the room taking his baseball clothes)
(...)
(At the park, Ernie throws the ball to Lizzie and Lizzie misses the ball. When Sam sees the little boy's pitching technique, he frowns in confusion)
Sam: Strike 1! (To Diane) Where did he learn to throw the ball like that? He looks like a pro.
Diane: Probably by watching the pitchers in the games you see on TV. Kids learn by imitation.
Sam: Strike 2! (To Diane) Then how do you explain Lizzie not learning anything?
Diane: Are you kidding me? That girl is my copycat. She's looking at books or painting while you're all watching the game.
Sam: Well, that's true. Strike 3! We're gonna make a change. Lizzie, hand your brother the glove and get the bat.
(As the kids switch places, Lizzie throws the ball poorly and low, but Ernie ducks and manages to hit it, making a home run. Sam, in shock, looks at Diane, who is as surprised as he is)
Sam: Ok, how do you explain that?
Diane: I... I can't.
(When Ernie finishes the run around the imaginary bases, since they are playing in a field, Sam approaches him)
Sam: How... How did you do that? How could you have gotten so good considering how bad your sister's pitching is? No offense, Lizzie.
Lizzie: None taken. It's my first time playing.
Sam: (Puzzled) Wait, your brother has dreamed he plays baseball hundreds of times and you've never dreamed it?
Lizzie: I'm in his dream too, but I'm in the seating area, watching, painting, reading or playing.
Sam: Then... Who do you play baseball with in your dreams?
Ernie: Grandpa.
(Hearing the little boy, his parents are quite surprised)
Sam: Your grandparents have been dead for years.
Ernie: In my dreams he's alive.
Sam: (To Diane) Honestly, I never thought of my father acting like a grandfather. He wasn't even a good father to me.
Diane: Well, maybe he's trying to redeem himself.
Ernie: Is that your dad? How come you're so tall?
Sam: (Puzzled) What?
Ernie: Grandpa is like Mommy or shorter.
(Realizing what is going on, Diane drops the water bottles on the floor and they both stare at him in shock)
Diane: (To Sam, incredulously) Then... The dream from that time was real?
Ernie: What dream, Mommy?
Diane: You're too young to know that story yet.
Sam: Do you know... what your grandfather's name is?
Ernie: Coach.
(Hearing this, Diane puts her hand to her mouth and her eyes get watery, then the two of them exchange glances)
(...)
[Malone's house. Noon]
(As Diane enter the living room with the kids, now wearing clean clothes, Sam signals them to come sit with him on the couch, where he is sitting looking through a photo album from the 80s. Seeing a picture of the two of them with Coach at Cheers in '84, the kids point at him)
Ernie: Grandpa!
(Diane, upon hearing him, gets emotional)
Sam: So we were right... (To the kids) I know we all call him Coach, including you two, but his name was Ernie Pantusso.
Ernie: (Surprised) Ernie?! Like me?!
Sam: Yes... You're named after him. He was a great guy. He was my coach when I was playing for the Red Sox. He was amazing. When we won a game, the crowd in stands went wild. And when I quit and started working at the bar, he came with me. He always took care of me like I was his own son.
Lizzie: (Looking at the pictures) You loved him a lot.
Sam: (Smiles sadly) Yes... And he loved us a lot too.
Diane: I met him much later than your father, but we became good friends right away. He was like a father to me, too.
Sam: He wanted us to get married, but when he died, your mother was dating another person. Although after what you have told us, we are sure he knows that we are together and happy, and that he knows you and adores you. He wanted to see you grow up and play with you. Had he been alive now, he would probably be living with us. It would have been a happy house.
Lizzie: (Noticing Diane crying, worried) Are you okay, Mommy? What's wrong?
Diane: (Nods) I'm fine. I just... miss him so much.
(Sam, a little sad, hugs Diane)
Sam: Before Coach died... he told me to tell you that he wanted you to find something that you would enjoy doing and be happy doing it. Obviously it doesn't have to be now, you have your whole lives ahead of you. But he insisted that you practice a lot if you weren't good at it, and not to give up. From heaven, he wanted to see you shine as you would see him shine, as a star.
Diane: (Crying) Did he say that?
Sam: Yes... I guess he knew that sooner or later we'd end up getting back together and starting a family. And I guess he was also aware that the kids were likely to take after you.
(Diane, at the biting comment, laughs a little as she taps him with her hand)
Sam: I'm gonna make Mommy some tea, do you want some too?
Lizzie: Yes! / Ernie: Yes.
Sam: (Stands up and gives Diane a kiss on the head before going to the kitchen) I'll be right back.
(Toby, seeing that Diane was crying, brings her a handkerchief. Seeing it, she laughs and takes it. To try to cheer her up, Becky climbs up on the couch and sits on her lap, but Diane, remembering her kitty, cries again. The children, no longer knowing how to cheer her up, hug her)
(...)
[Cheers. Afternoon]
(As Sam and Diane enter Cheers with their children, confetti balls explode on the ceiling and confetti fall to the floor. Happy, the kids run around trying to catch the little pieces of paper and everyone laughs)
Woody: (Happy) Happy birthday.
(As the children approach Norm, he pulls a package out of a bag)
Norm: Happy birthday.
Ernie and Lizzie: Thank you. (They hug him)
Ernie: What's it?
Norm: It's a magnet shape-shaping game. You can build lots of things with it. Just be careful Toby doesn't eat them and Becky doesn't destroy them.
Cliff: I have something for you too. (He takes two envelopes with stamps out of his pocket and gives one to each of them)
Norm: Are you serious, Cliffie? (Laughs)
Cliff: It's good for kids to get used to using the postal service at a young age.
(Hearing this, Sam, Diane and Norm smile resignedly)
Carla: (Pulls two jars of slime from the bar and hands them to them) This is for you to bother your mother, especially when she's sleeping, working or taking a shower. (Laughs)
(Diane, seeing that Carla cannot get enough of teasing her, looks at her with a smirk as if to say "Really, Carla?")
Woody: I have a present for you too, but it's a little different. (He picks up the remote and turns on the TV)
(As soon as the screen lights up, an edited video of clips of Ernie and Lizzie's life, from the moment they were born until last month, begins to play, featuring the song You'll Be in My Heart by Phil Collins. Upon seeing it, the kids smile, Sam gets emotional, and Woody and Diane burst into tears)
Norm: Woody, how come you're crying? Wasn't the editing yours?
Woody: Yes, but it still gets me every time.
Ernie: (To Diane) Why are you sad?
Diane: I'm not sad.
Ernie: You've been crying all day...
(Startled, Carla looks at Sam)
Carla: She's not pregnant again, is she?
Sam: No. (A little scared, to Diane) You're not, are you?
Diane: No. It's just that... (To the kids) You're slipping through my fingers all the time.
Ernie: (Confused) We haven't moved...
Diane: (Laughs) No, what I'm talking about is... You're growing up very fast, and it makes me happy to see you growing up, but at the same time I don't want time to go by so fast.
Carla: As a mother, I can't tell you how much I relate to this. I felt that way on every birthday with my kids. It's like in the ABBA song.
Diane: (Smiles, nods and looks at her children as she begins to sing) I try to capture every minute / The feeling in it / Slipping through my fingers all the time / Do I really see what's in your mind? / Each time I think I'm close to knowing / You keep on growing / Slipping through my fingers all the time / (While taking a polaroid picture) Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture / (Looks at her while smiling) And save it from the funny tricks of time / Slipping through my fingers...
Carla: (To Sam, softly) If you find this surprising, wait until their first day of school.
(...)
[September 2000. Malone's house. Morning]
(With a small backpack in hand, Ernie and Lizzie hug Becky and Toby and wave goodbye before leaving. Diane, in the living room, watches them walk to the car with Sam and, overwhelmed by the mix of feelings that overcome her, she sits for a moment on the arm of the couch and takes a deep breath to calm herself before going with them)
(...)
(When it is finally time to enter the classroom, Ernie, Lizzie and Holly hug their parents goodbye and cheerfully walk in. Sam and Kelly smile tenderly and moved at the sight of them, relieved to see that their children did not cry when they started Preschool. However, Woody and Diane burst into tears and, seeing that the two are the same, hug each other while Sam and Kelly try to comfort them)
(...)
[Cheers. Morning]
(After a long time, Sam, Woody and Diane enter the bar)
Carla: (Annoyed) Finally! Where the hell have you been? This bar may not that busy in the morning, but I can't take care of everything myself.
Sam: I'm sorry, the first day of school was harder than we expected.
Carla: That's funny. I thought Elizabeth was looking forward to go to school.
Sam: She was. I was talking about Diane and Woody.
(Hearing this, Carla laughs a little and Diane and Woody look at him sadly)
(...)
(In the afternoon, Sam, Diane and Woody go to pick up the kids from school. When Ernie, Lizzie and Holly come out, they run to hug their parents. In the Malone's case, Ernie hugs Sam and Lizzie hugs Diane)
Lizzie: (Still hugging her mother, looks into her eyes) How was our first day of school?
Ernie: (Hugging Sam, turns to Diane) Did you cry much, Mommy?
(Hearing the children, Diane is left speechless, frozen with the smile she was looking at them with. Seeing her reaction, Sam laughs and puts a hand on her back. Diane, resigned, laughs a little and smiles)
Diane: I guess I deserve it.
Ernie: Do you need an ice cream?
(Hearing this, Sam and Diane laugh again)
Lizzie: It always makes us happy.
Diane: (Laughs and smiles) I'm not sad at all right now, but if you invite me for ice cream I won't say no.
(Hearing her, Sam laughs and kisses her)
Woody: Mind if we join the plan?
Sam: The more the merrier.
(...)
[Cheers. Afternoon]
(Sam, Diane, Woody, Ernie and Lizzie enter with ice cream. Sam has a cookie dough, caramel and lime triple ice cream in his right hand and an orange, vanilla and lemon in his left hand; Diane has a strawberry, pistachio and peach triple ice cream in her right hand and a stracciatella, raspberry and coffee in her left hand; Woody has a chocolate, coconut and banana triple ice cream in his right hand and a Rocky road, chocolate mint and rum raisin in his left hand; Lizzie has a vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and walnuts; and Ernie has a Cookies and Cream ice cream. As soon as they come in, the kids run to a table to sit down to eat their ice cream)
Carla: (Annoyed) How nice, I'm here working and you're fooling around buying ice cream.
Diane: (Leaves the one in her left hand on the bar) Here, this is yours.
Carla: Thank you.
(Seeing that as soon as it touched the bar, Carla took it and started eating it, Sam and Diane laugh)
Woody: (Gives Cliff the ice cream cup he had in his left hand) Here, your ice cream, Mr. Clavin.
Cliff: (Surprised) Thank you, Woody.
Norm: (Entering) Afternoon, everybody.
All: Noooorm!
Diane: Norman...
Norm: Uh, ice cream.
Sam: (Gives him the cup he was holding in his left hand) Here, this is yours. The kids asked for it.
Diane: You should have seen the look on the ice cream store clerk's face when she saw two three-year-olds ask her what flavors of ice cream go best with beer (laughs).
(Hearing Diane, Norm and Carla laugh; Sam laughs remembering the anecdote and Cliff smiles at the kids' idea)
Sam: I think this school thing is gonna bring us a lot of good times.
[Supermarket. Days later]
(With a box of breakfast cereal in hand, Sam walks forward to continue looking for the next thing on the list. Seeing an amazingly attractive young woman, he forgets what he was looking for. Faced with such beauty, he thinks: "That's the kind of woman I would have tried to pick up ten years ago")
Stranger: Hi.
(Sam, seeing that she is trying to make contact, gets a little nervous, but smiles at the thought that even in his 50 he is still a magnet for women)
Sam: Do we know each other?
Unknown: Sort of. You're the father of two of my kids.
(Hearing this, Sam turns white and staggers, and the cereal box he was holding falls to the floor. He could not believe this was happening to him a second time)
Sam: T-Two?! H-How is that possible?! If it were only one maybe, but... I was always so careful! Do you mind... if we talk in a quiet coffee shop a bit later? My wife's in the frozen-food aisle and I'd rather avoid an embarrassing scene...
(At that moment, Diane arrives holding hands with Ernie and Elizabeth. Seeing the woman, they both run out and hug her)
Ernie and Lizzie: Miss Harris!
Miss Harris: (Happy to see them) Lizzie, Ernie!
Sam: (Very surprised) Do you know this woman?!
Ernie and Lizzie: She's our teacher.
(Sam, perplexed and embarrassed as he realizes, throws his hands to his head, red with embarrassment, and the children's teacher laughs. Diane looks at them puzzled)
Diane: Sam?
Sam: (Still covering his face in embarrassment, he makes a "leave it" gesture to her) Don't ask.
*Author's note. In the scenes where the kids are leaving the house to go to school and when they enter the school, an adaptation of Slipping Through My Fingers would be playing. In the first scene, the lines would be Schoolbag in hand, they leave home in the early morning / Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile / I watch them go with a surge of that well-known sadness / And I have to sit down for a while. In the second, the lines would be The feeling that I'm losing them forever / And without really entering their world / I'm glad whenever I can share their laughter / Those precious little kids.