Author's Note:

Hello! This is my first fic, so I'd appreciate your feedback!

Thanks to missamac for pre-reading.

I do not own Twilight. I'm just playing around.

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

BPOV

I glanced at the clock beside my bed as I slipped my feet into my favorite pair of black heels. I was relieved to see it was only a quarter past seven, which gave me plenty of time to stop for coffee on my way to the office. I chose a pair of earrings and hooked them into my ears and then gave myself a final look in the full-length mirror on the back of my closet door. My long brunette hair was pulled into a low bun and my makeup was light and natural, just enough to play up my chocolate brown eyes. I was wearing a fitted black suit with skinny, ankle length pants and a brightly colored floral blouse under the jacket. The heels made my legs look longer than they were, and I thanked my lucky stars that I'd outgrown the clumsiness of my youth, so I could actually walk in them. I'd never be the fashionista my friend Alice was, but I could appreciate a good pair of shoes. It wasn't an outfit I wore often, as I was usually a little more laid back in my wardrobe, but I had a meeting with one of my most difficult authors that afternoon, and I knew she took stock in a professional appearance. I was also pleased to see that the pants were fitting nicely. The last time I had worn them they had been too loose, but that had been almost a year ago right after the divorce. I had lost weight due to stress and depression, but I was happy to note that I was back on the right track. Jacob Black no longer had that kind of influence on my life.

I tried not to dwell on the past, but sometimes, I still had a hard time wrapping my brain around how my life had been flipped upside down. Jacob and I had grown up together and he had been one of my best friends. It had been inevitable since our dads were best friends and we'd spent nearly all our free time together, practically from birth. After graduating high school, my friends Alice, Jasper, Tanya, and I made our escape from our small hometown of Forks and headed to UW in Seattle, along with Jake who had graduated from the Quileute reservation school in nearby La Push the same year. College had opened a whole new world for me, and it had also revealed a new aspect of my relationship with Jake that I'd never known existed. I'd had a string of bad relationships throughout my freshman and sophomore years, and after Alice and Jasper had gotten engaged, I'd found myself drunkenly lamenting my shitty luck with men to Jacob one night. He'd looked at me intently, and quietly suggested maybe I'd been looking in the wrong places for Mr. Right. I'd laughed and asked him where he thought I should look, and he'd responded that maybe I should look at who was right in front of me and admitted that he'd been in love with me for years. I'd been surprised, but after a minute, I had scooted closer and planted my lips on his. We'd both frozen in shock, but after a moment, I'd realized it didn't feel as weird as I would have thought and tried to deepen the kiss. Jacob, however, had pulled back. I'd been a little hurt and embarrassed, thinking he didn't want me after all, but he had assured me that he just didn't want anything to happen between us because I was drunk. I then convinced him I wasn't drunk enough to not know what I was doing, and we kissed again. From that moment on, our relationship had evolved into something I never would have imagined when we were kids, and it wasn't long before we were engaged.

We got married right after we graduated from the university, and I took my English degree and began working as a copy editor, while Jake went to law school. Everything had been just like we planned. Well, like Jake had planned, anyway. He had always had a very specific view of how our life should look, and we seemed to have it all. The right house, the right jobs, the right cars, and after a few years we had finally agreed it was time to add to our family. Conceiving a child, however, didn't go as easily as either of us had expected and the stress of that failure had put a strain on our marriage. Despite that strain, however, I'd still never expected the end to be near. I'd honestly believed everything was okay, and it was, until it wasn't.

A Year Ago

I pushed my cart through the aisles of the grocery store and ran through the list of what I'd need in my head. I glanced at my watch and was relieved to see that I still had plenty of time to do everything I needed to do before Jake would be home. Today was our eighth wedding anniversary and I'd decided to cook his favorite dinner and planned a romantic evening at home. We had originally planned to go out to dinner over the coming weekend, but I didn't want to let our actual anniversary pass without acknowledging it in some way. Jake had been working really hard the last couple of years in an effort to make partner at his law firm, and he'd been working even longer hours since we'd given up trying to have a baby. I sighed at the thought of our failed attempt at starting a family. It had been important to Jacob to have a child, and I'd felt like I had failed him ever since the doctor had told us there was a good chance it would never happen for us. We'd tried for close to three years, but after multiple fertility treatments, we'd given up almost a year ago.

I knew Jake well enough to know how disappointed he was, and though he'd never say it out loud, I knew he blamed me for not being able to get pregnant. I wouldn't say our marriage was on the rocks, but there'd been a definite chasm between us lately, and I'd decided that tonight was the perfect time to reconnect. I knew he'd be at the office until about seven, so I was planning to prepare his favorite dinner, and then surprise him with the racy lingerie I'd picked up before I came to the market. I smiled to myself as I pictured the deep red lace I'd chosen since it was Jacob's favorite color.

After I had everything I needed for dinner, I loaded up the car and headed home, excited for the evening ahead. At home, I pulled to the curb and grabbed the mail out of the mailbox before pulling into the driveway. I hit the garage door opener and was surprised to see Jake's car already in the garage. My brow furrowed in confusion, but then I smiled, thinking he must have had the same thought about surprising me for our anniversary. With him already home, dinner wouldn't be a surprise, but I could still make it work, so I grabbed the bags from the backseat and headed into the house. The kitchen was dark when I stepped inside and set the bags down. I figured Jake was in his home office since he wouldn't be expecting me home yet, so I flipped through the mail before going to find him. As I tossed the junk mail in the trash, I heard a thump from the living room. I cocked my head and listened for a moment, then shrugged to myself when I didn't hear anything else. I kicked off the heels I'd worn to work and picked them up to carry them upstairs to my closet, then headed out of the kitchen intent on finding Jake in his office before going upstairs to change. As I padded barefoot through the dining room toward the other side of the house, a glimpse of movement from the living room caught my eye.

Suddenly, everything seemed to move in slow motion as I stepped into the opening that faced the living area and took in the scene before me. The couch was at a right angle to where I was standing, and I had a perfectly clear view of my very naked husband and his equally naked assistant straddling his lap. I felt as though I were rooted to the spot as I stood and watched Lauren, the bleached blonde secretary that up until this moment I thought Jake hated, riding him like the queen of the rodeo. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find my voice, nor could I make my feet move. I wasn't sure how long I stood there, completely in shock at what I was seeing, but Jake jerked his head in my direction when my shoes slipped off my fingers and hit the hard wood floor. I saw shock cross his face, then for a moment a cold look flashed in his eyes before the guilt appeared. I shook my head slowly as he pushed Lauren off him and scrambled for his pants.

"Fuck! Bella! This isn't-," he stuttered.

"This isn't what it looks like? Is that what you were going to say, Jacob?" I asked with a hollow laugh.

"Because it looks an awful lot like you were fucking your secretary on our couch. Did I get that wrong?"

"No, but Bella, please. It didn't mean anything. I'm sorry, I made a mistake," he pleaded as he pulled on his clothes. I vaguely noted Lauren pulling on her dress, but I was more focused on Jake, so I was startled when she spoke.

"Really, Jake? It didn't mean anything? So, all the promises you've made over the last year were lies?" she asked in a quiet, shaky voice.

"Babe, of course not, but please, not now. I'll call you later," Jake whispered as he turned to face her. I guess he thought I wouldn't hear him, but I had stepped closer, and I heard every word. Lauren shot me a triumphant look as she slipped her shoes on and walked out the door. As much as I wanted to lay into her for her part in ruining my marriage, I let her go, instead focusing on the man who'd vowed to love me forever.

"A year, Jacob? Seriously? You've been fucking around for a year?!" I shouted. "How could you do this?"

"I'm sorry, Bella, but really, it's not a big deal. It was just a mistake. It won't happen again," he said without looking sorry at all.

"Really? It won't happen again?" I asked incredulously. "Is that what you're going to tell Lauren later when you call her?" I got a sick jolt of satisfaction when his face fell, realizing I had heard him.

"Babe, look-," he began, but I cut him off.

"No, you don't get to call me babe anymore. Especially right after you used the same damn pet name for her," I said coldly.

Jake sighed in resignation, probably realizing he wasn't going to be able to talk himself out of this as easily as he'd assumed. "Fine, Bella, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I've just had a hard time since you couldn't get pregnant and Lauren was an escape, but she means nothing to me."

"She clearly meant enough to jeopardize our marriage," I pointed out, crossing my arms over my chest when I suddenly felt cold to my core.

"No, Bells, she's nothing. You're everything to me, and I know I fucked up, but I love you and I'll do whatever I have to do to fix this."

"There is no fixing this, Jacob. I know we've struggled since we quit trying for a baby, but I never thought you'd do something like this. And in our home, today of all days. We've known each other literally our entire lives, we were best friends, and you couldn't just talk to me? Or at least respect me enough to tell me you wanted out before you cheated?" Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered why I wasn't crying, but I just felt numb.

"I don't want out! That's the last thing I want, Bella. I want to fix this," Jake declared.

"I don't care what you want, Jacob. You betrayed me in the worst possible way, so there's only one option as far as I'm concerned. I'll be filing for divorce, and I expect you to sign the papers and not drag it out. I'm going to pack a bag," I said as I started to walk past him toward the bedroom.

Jake reached out and grabbed my wrist, and I whirled on him angrily, yanking out of his grasp. "No!" I exclaimed through my teeth. "You don't get to touch me. Ever again."

I spun away from him and made my way toward the stairs, then turned back and saw him staring after me. "You know the real kicker here? I came home early to surprise you with your favorite dinner and new lingerie thinking today was the perfect time to put more effort into our marriage. Little did I know that I was the furthest thing from your mind, and you apparently stopped thinking of me a long time ago. Now, I'm going to pack, and I'll be back to get the rest of my things this weekend. I don't want to see you on my way out. My attorney will be in touch. Happy fucking anniversary," I said, then turned and walked up the stairs.

Once in the bedroom, I hurriedly threw several days' worth of clothing into a suitcase and grabbed my toiletries out of the adjoining bathroom. I glanced around the room and was satisfied that I had everything I'd need for now, so I grabbed my bags and walked out. Jake had made himself scarce as I'd asked and I didn't see him on my way back through the house, so I made it to my car with no further drama.

Twenty minutes later, I was ringing Alice's doorbell. I felt a flash of guilt for showing up unannounced, but calling ahead hadn't even crossed my mind. A minute later, Jasper pulled open the door and looked at me curiously.

"Hey, Bells," he greeted. "Everything okay?"

I just stared at him, not knowing how to answer. Thankfully I didn't have to figure it out when Alice walked up behind him. "Jazz, who is it?" she asked, then saw me as she got close enough to see around Jasper. "Bella? What's wrong?"

I still couldn't find any words, but I think I shook my head. Or maybe my whole body was shaking. I wasn't sure, I just knew that everything around me seemed to be moving. I swallowed, trying to find my voice, but suddenly my chest felt tight and the tears that I'd wondered about earlier finally made an appearance. I let out a sob and felt my knees start to give way. Before I hit the ground, though, Jasper leapt forward.

"Shit! Bella!" he exclaimed as he caught me. I was grateful, but I still couldn't speak as he pulled me into his arms and carried me into the house. He sat me gently on the sofa where Alice sat next to me and pulled me into her arms. I vaguely heard her tell Jasper to get a glass of water and then felt her stroking my hair.

"Shhh, Bella. It'll be alright. You're okay," she crooned softly as she rocked me back and forth. After what felt like hours, my sobs slowed, and I gratefully took the glass of water Jasper had brought in. After a few sips to soothe my raw throat, I looked at Alice.

"Sorry for showing up unannounced," I croaked. Alice just rolled her eyes and flapped her hand to indicate that was the least of her concerns.

"What happened, sweetie?" she asked softly. I sat back and took my time before answering her. I felt strangely calm and numb again, but I determined that it was better than hysterical.

"I went home to cook dinner, like I'd planned. I did all the things I told you I was going to, but Jake was home when I got there, which was odd. I thought for a minute he had planned to surprise me too," I huffed a wry laugh. "And really, I guess he did. I was definitely surprised to find him fucking his secretary in our living room."

"Son of a bitch," Jasper swore quietly as Alice gasped. We were all quiet for a moment after that, then Alice started asking questions. I told her everything that Jake and I had said and that I had packed a bag. She and Jasper assured me that I was welcome to stay with them for as long as I needed and that they would help me get my stuff from the house.

A few hours later, Alice had fed me, plied me with wine, and then curled up with me in her guest room. I tried to send her off to bed with her husband, but she wouldn't hear of it. I stopped fighting her and allowed her to comfort me as I drifted off to sleep. Alice always knew what I needed.

"Thanks, Ali," I mumbled sleepily. Thinking how grateful I was to have a friend like Alice, a friend that I could always count on, was my last coherent thought before sleep overtook me.

I shook my head to clear the memories as I grabbed my things before leaving the house for work. They say hindsight is 20/20 and it's true. The further I got from my failed marriage, the more clarity I gained. I often wondered why I ever thought marrying him was right, but I couldn't change the past. I just had to be grateful that I wouldn't be wasting any more of my life on Jacob Black.

Author's Note:

Please review and let me know what you think!

This is pre-written, so I'll be posting a new chapter at least once a week.