Triad of Mothers
Chapter 6: Connections
Perhaps Severus should have expected this. He should have expected that the nature of Harry's connection with the Dark Lord to be this terrible. Because yes, this is perhaps the only way they could be mentally connected to one another.
Why the fuck didn't he think of it before?
He had no doubt that Dumbledore knew and had just been stringing Harry and him along for the ride.
Him because of the vow he took to protect Harry. The vow which would probably kill him if he let Harry die to get rid of the thing. And that was the only way any of them knew of to get rid of it.
For now, anyway.
He would make sure that they found another way to remove the bloody soul piece. Whether or not they would be able to do it before the end of Harry's pregnancy was another thing entirely. But he supposed that they could, perhaps, attempt to find a way to block the connection also, just in case they do have to wait for the baby to be born before they can remove it. That way the pregnancy would be safer, for Harry and the baby.
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes as he leant against one of the many bookshelves in the library.
He opened his eyes and glanced at his covered forearm. The one with the mark he hated. His own connection to the Dark Lord. One that he hated himself for being manipulated into getting. One that was annoyingly throbbing and had since he and the two teens had escaped.
Perhaps there was a way for them to get rid of that connection also.
Merlin, he hoped desperately so.
He glanced at his still flat stomach and almost grimaced, though another shaky sigh did escape his lips.
Another connection to the Dark Lord. One that all of three of them shared.
And maybe this one wouldn't be so bad. So long as they could protect the babies anyway. From the Light, the Dark, the Ministry, and probably a lot of other people, too.
Fear clenched his heart as he tried to go back to the task of browsing the shelves for any books he thought might help. But his mind was too busy, too stressed to really focus on anything, let alone to read the titles of the books he passed his eyes over.
"Severus, are you alright?" Nymphadora said from a few meters away, her voice gentle and concerned.
Severus turned to her, somewhat shocked that she had managed to sneak up on him, and yet also not considering how little he was focusing on his surroundings at that moment. And wasn't that a scary thought? Him, a spy, not being able to focus on his surroundings.
"Dora," he said, hoping she didn't notice the slight crack in his voice, "I'm fine,"
She smiled at him knowingly, "I'm sure you are," she said, her voice somehow both strong and gentle, "But, if you aren't as fine as you like to pretend you are, that is okay, too. And I'm here if you want to talk about it, or whatever," she shrugged as if it was no big deal.
He nodded, "Are you alright?" he asked, trying to focus on something other than the thoughts swirling through his mind.
"I'm fine," she grinned, "I mean, at least forty weeks off work is a dream. Especially when we get to stay in this gorgeous home the whole time, with so many people and animals, and books and such of course, that it will be hard to get bored. Honestly, I think this will be the best time of our lives. Nine months of rest, and peace, and happiness, and family. Can't get much better than that,"
"Hopefully, anyway," he said dryly.
"Yeah, hopefully," she smiled knowingly again, "But we'll, er, we'll do everything we can to protect all three of you, and your babies, from everyone,"
"I know," he said, swallowing a lump in his throat, "I'm just pessimistic enough to think that that might not be enough. Especially with… We need to find the Horcruxes and destroy them, so we can destroy the Dark Lord. We need to get the one out of Harry without destroying him or the baby, or both of them. We need to do so much before any of us will be safe. And I'm not sure that even the goblin wards on this place will be enough to keep us protected from everyone. At least, not for nearly a whole year. And that is the least amount of time they will be necessary, we will still need them to protect the babies once they are born. It is all rather a lot," he said quietly.
"I know. But we'll get through it. No matter what. We'll all be searching for answers. None of you are alone in this. And if it's absolutely necessary then we are always able to call in Nick, he'll be here at the drop of a hat if he's needed, you know that,"
Severus just nodded, unsure of what else to do. Perhaps he should have just called in Nick from the beginning, then maybe he wouldn't have as many doubts. Not that he doubted his family. They were all powerful, intelligent, capable individuals. But Nick was powerful on a whole nother level.
"How did Harry take the news?" Nymphadora asked as they began to walk amongst the shelves together. She clearly wanted to keep him company for a while, not that he minded.
"Not well," he winced as he remembered Harry curling into him, crying, panicking, almost begging him to let him die so that he would no longer have that thing tainting his mind, and desperately clinging to him in the vain attempt to cling onto something, anything, because everything felt like it was slowly, dangerously falling apart and had done his entire life. All before falling asleep in Severus' arms as Severus clung to him in return. The child he had vowed to protect but had to be destroyed in order for them to win any part of the war.
At least, that is what they gathered, but he would do whatever it took for them to find something, anything else. He would.
He wouldn't let Harry die.
He wouldn't.
He couldn't.
They entered the wider part of the library, where, instead of rows of bookshelves, sat tables, desks, chairs, sofas, and armchairs in various places in front of a large lit fireplace that added a warmth that Severus desperately needed. Kingsley, the twins, Bill, Fleur, Andromeda, Ted, Xenophilius, Draco, and Neville were all gathered in various spots pouring through old, thick tomes in search of… anything.
"Has anyone found anything yet?" Severus asked, hoping for an easy way out although knowing that that was unlikely given who they all were.
"The killing curse, fiendfyre, basilisk venom, death in general, or the loss of his magic because apparently if he doesn't have magic then the soul piece won't have anything to hold onto. But given how powerful he is, the loss of his magic will probably kill him. And, well, none of them are possible of being done any time soon. The goblins are speaking with some of their archivists. We haven't found anything in regards to blocking the connection just yet," Bill said, almost like he was trying to hide his anger, fear, and many other things which Severus could understand but didn't like showing to others.
Severus nodded again and sat on an armchair with a book that he had grabbed unseeingly from a shelf.
"Severus, love, go to bed. You look dead on your feet, you need to rest. And being away from the other two for long periods of time so soon in your bond isn't good for the three of you. We can keep looking, we have time. But you three need time to rest, and get your heads around things before you will be of any help. So go, sleep, we'll wake you all up in time for dinner," Andromeda said in a motherly tone.
"I'm fine," Severus sighed, annoyed.
"You are not fine, Sev. And it is fine that you aren't. But now isn't the time for pretending to be fine. We all love you, we all want to help, but we can't do that if you don't let us. If you don't trust us to keep you all safe, to help you, to look after you. Now, go to bed, sleep, we'll wake you up for dinner. You're safe for now," she said sternly, almost glaring at him, but there was a gentleness there also.
He sighed again but agreed, standing up and taking the book with him as he headed to the bedroom, taking a slow walk because he was just too tired to put any effort in.
He entered the room to find the two teenagers curled up together, asleep in the centre of the bed, and he smiled slightly, although his heart clenched in pain as he saw the pain and restlessness on their faces. But they were safe, for now, and something in him eased a little bit as he slid onto the bed, moving close to them but not too close. He placed the book on the bedside table and laid down, his head nestled into the pillow as he stared at the ceiling, taking some deep, shaky breaths as his hands found their way to his stomach.
And for a second as he was falling asleep he did hope that maybe, just this once, everything would be okay.
That maybe this connection to the Dark Lord won't be terrible.
Hiya, how are you all?
I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Sorry for the delay in updates recently but life has just been disastrous lately and I... well, I have been struggling a lot. But I hope to get back into the swing of things now. We shall see, I suppose. Also, what do you think of me writing some fanfics for House M.D.? I love that show and I have so many ideas that I want to explore, but I will also continue with the Harry Potter ones, don't you worry, I also have like 20 other ideas for Harry Potter fanfics, haha.
Anywho, I posted an essay/petition where I (un)officially explain why I think I should be cast as my favourite character, Severus Snape, in the new HBO series, despite the fact that I am a woman. It would mean a lot if you went and read it, but no pressure. It isn't going to lead to anything, unless, by some miracle, it goes viral, but it was fun to write. It is on my AO3, Maraudering_Paige. Feel free to go and check it out.
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Paige xx