This story was created after listening to Citizen Soldier's music between episodes of the show. I loved it so much that this idea came to me, though it is darker than most of my other stories.

This entire story has the triggering topic suicide, with more than one character. Please do not read if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Just send me a message and I'll quickly summarize what happens without going into details.

If you want me to continue this story, please review so I can decide to move forward or not. I previously published a new story hours ago in this same category, but I have many other ideas I want to pursue. These two are to test the waters for the new fandom that I've grown to love.

Enjoy.

How can you love someone when you don't know everything about them?

Adrien Agreste, ex-model and son of the famous fashion icon Gabriel Agreste, felt that way when it came to himself. After months of getting to know her, Adrien fell in-love with Marinette Dupain-Chang, a classmate of his from Françoise DuPont Middle. He didn't know when his feelings for her changed, but once he realized he couldn't stop thinking about her and found she felt the same, Adrien decided to put his heart on the line by admitting his feelings to her.

That resulted in his second heartbreak ever.

Marinette had stayed home from school that day when Miss Bustier asked Adrien to bring the teen her missed work. Marionette's parents easily allowed Adrien into their home, for they hoped he could cheer up their upset daughter. Adrien thought he knew why she was upset when no one else did.

He, as the masked hero Cat Noir, played with her feelings. Although he loved her, Cat Noir had to push her away to protect her. Marinette has become so upset that she almost became another victim for Monarch to akumatize. An affectionate kiss, one of many they shared in their short time together, broke Marinette free before she could fully transform into a villain.

But it traumatized the poor girl enough to forget the idea of ever being in a relationship with Cat Noir.

Of ever being in love again.

Adrien learned that the hard way when he visited her in her left bedroom. Still in her pajamas, Marinette laid moping in her bed as Adrien tried having a conversation with her. After listening to Marinette constantly ridiculing herself for being weak and a failure, Adrien finally snapped.

"I don't care about any of that!" Adrien shouted desperately, tears filling his eyes. "I love you just the way you are!"

Not how he intended to confess his feelings, but the way Marinette spoke about herself triggered something in him—

Reminding him of how he felt about himself not so long ago.

Just a few weeks after his mother disappeared, Adrien could no longer live with the thought of living without her. Harming himself only made him feel slightly better, so Adrien tried ending it all.

It would have worked too, if his father hadn't busted down the bathroom door; if his father hadn't tried to stop the mess staining the white tile floor and walls; if Nathalie hadn't called the ambulance.

The heartbreak of Marinette saying she no longer loved him and that they could never be together was enough for Adrien to feel the same as the . . . incident.

When he came home and moped up the marble staircase to his bedroom, Nathalie instinctively followed him, for she could sense the worrying change in his behavior. Adrien didn't have the chance to close the door before Nathalie barged in right behind him. He didn't acknowledge her as he laid face down on the bed, wishing the pain would go away—

Or be replaced by something worse. That would be near impossible though.

Nathalie kept a very close eye on him.

After the phone call from his friends, Adrien still felt glum when his father came in for a 'pep talk'. In reality, it was just his father trying to give him an Alliance ring again. His father has become so obsessed with his new invention.

Sometimes, Adrien wishes his father could go back to the way he was before; back to being strict about what he did every second of the day; back to loving his passion for fashion and caring less about making a profit.

Back to the man who held him so tight as his life slipped away, pleading for Adrien to stay with him.

Once the imposter was gone from his room, Adrien tossed the Alliance out his bedroom window and went back to moping on his bed—

Until his kwami, Plagg, flew to him with an odd solution.

Supposedly, all his problems would come to an end if Plagg were to leave and find another holder. This would free Adrien of all his responsibilities of saving Paris and prevent him from keeping secrets from Marinette.

To be completely honest, a weight did lift off Adrien's shoulders when he returned to Marinette's home to deliver the schoolwork once more. Although a mere hour had passed since his first attempt, Marinette appeared to be a lot more cheerful than before. After a few moments of careful conversation and interrogation, Adrien was finally able to gain some clarity to how Marinette felt for him. Their relationship was finally ready to evolve into something more, something better.

But then Adrien quickly learned that no one could replace him as holder of the Miraculous of Destruction.

Within just a couple days of Plagg choosing a new holder, Monarch discovered who she and the new Miraculous of Creation holder was. Stealing both miraculous, Monarch came close to recreating the world in his own image.

That is, if Plagg hadn't cataclysmed his own miraculous, destroying himself from the universe until brought back by the Miraculous Ladybugs.

It was quite thrilling, to fight against Monarch as a normal citizen where no one knew he was Cat Noir. Adrien felt so much satisfaction when he ripped the earrings away from Monarch and gave the miraculous back to the real Ladybug. She saved the day once more and reverted everything back to the way it was before Plagg was destroyed.

Having Plagg back in his life and his 'newfound' relationship with Marinette growing more than ever before, Adrien really believed everything in his life would remain bright and cheery.

That is, until an anniversary crept up on him quicker and harder than he ever expected.

The dreadful day approached faster than Adrien anticipated. With his life being so busy and having not a single moment to rest, Adrien didn't know the day was coming until the nightmares started to plague his dreams. The same few would be in constant replay, never giving him a moment of peace.

One nightmare would be the moment Adrien learned his mother was gone, never to return to him. Another was the day he decided to end it all; he always woke up just before his father was supposed to burst through the door. The last nightmare was the worst of them all.

Adrien becomes akumatized by Monarch, turning into a white version of Cat Noir—Cat Blanc—and cataclysms the entire world. Everything and everyone surrounding him are nothing more than ash or statues, turning into dust with a single touch. In his arms laid the loves of his life. One moment it would be the incredible Ladybug, then the next it would be his beautiful Marinette. No matter the change of person, both would stare at him with wide-eyed horror, like they watched Cat Noi—Cat Blanc, create the devastation.

He didn't dare move a muscle. After having experienced the nightmare more than once, Adrien knew the smallest of movements would turn the young women into dust, like everything else in the messed-up world.

Unable to handle the haunting dreams any longer, Adrien decided he wouldn't sleep. He would stay up as long as his body would allow him until he passed out from pure exhaustion. This process worked only for a couple days; the horrors coming back more vividly than before.

On the anniversary of the first heartbreak of his life, the nightmares decided to haunt him in real life. Every few moments, everything around Adrien would transform into one of the three to give him hell. Somehow, he was able to hide that fact from his father and Nathalie during the morning routine of pancakes for breakfast. The two were a lot more somber than Adrien expected them to be. Only a handful of words were spoken before he left for school, having to nearly bed to walk, just this once.

If he had known how awful the horrors were going to be, Adrien would have thought about his decision a little more carefully.

Still, Adrien managed to form a smile as his classmates greeted him without a care in the world. He didn't dare tell them what that day meant to them.

He didn't want to see all their worried glances or their apologies for something that couldn't be changed. His . . . depression, wasn't something they should be worried about. He can manage on his own, even if he had to suffer just a bit.

However, there was someone who wasn't fooled by his façade. Someone Adrien wasn't expecting at all.

So when that someone stood right in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest but a gleam of concern in her eyes, Adrien raised an inquisitive brow at her. "What do you want, Chloe?"

"Why are you here?"

Her tone was neither rude nor snobbish. There were genuine signs of curiosity and worry. Adrien couldn't help flinching, for it was such an unusual tone to hear from her. "What are you talking about?" he wondered. "It's a school day."

"I know what today is," Chloe snapped, though she was still surprisingly gentle. "That's why you shouldn't be here."

Adrien tensed. He should have known that Chloe would remember. How could she forget? She and her family were over for dinner when Adrien left for his bathroom when he decided to end it all. They had kept talking about his mother when he finally had enough.

Adrien could have lied. He could play it off like he didn't know, but she would keep at him until she caused a suspicious scene. Instead, he let his shoulders droop as he admitted, "You're right, but it was either suffer an entire day at home, where I would be constantly reminded of her, or go to school, where I'd be distracted enough to forget about today. At least, that's what I was hoping for, but now . . ."

Adrien trailed off, not because he was upset. The bathroom nightmare flashed around him before reverting back to the normal school environment. He let his mind wonder for a few moments, staring off in space in hopes of keeping his emotions in check.

Noticing the blank gaze in his eye, Chloe embraced him, just so he would know she was there for him. Feeling the way he tensed up at the touch, Chloe wondered, "What do you need me to do? How can I help you?"

Pondering on the idea for a moment or two, Adrien suggested, "Can you make up an excuse for me to be absent the first class? I just need a few moment to . . . breathe."

"You had a last-minute photo shoot you were begged to participate in," Chloe answered nonchalantly. "Anything else?"

Hesitating, Adrien wondered, "When you see Marinette, will you tell her I need her? I'm going to hide out in the boiler room until the nightmares go away."

"Of course," she agreed without any hesitation. "Go get the breath you need. And I'm sorry, for how I've been acting toward you and your friends. Can we start over and be friends again?"

Adrien raised a suspicious eyebrow at the mayor's daughter. "I can't tell if you're being serious or if you're just saying that because of the hell of a day it is to make me feel better."

Chloe scoffed incredulously. "Of course I'm serious!"

"Then don't tell me," Adrien insisted, "show me."

Thrown off-guard by the statement, she nodded sincerely. "Done."

"That includes being nice to your half-sister, Zoe."

"I got it," Chloe snapped as she pushed him away from her toward the safe room. "Go before someone sees you and my plan has to change. Marinette will come find you shortly."

Sneaking into the dark, quiet room was a lot easier than Adrien expected it to be. No one seemed to notice him creeping into the off-limits area, which he was grateful for. The moment he closed the door behind him, the nightmares attacked him, all at once.

Clutching his head from the pain, Adrien stumbled through the corridor. Having little to no strength in him, he collapsed just as he made it around the corner. Laying his back against the wall as he sat on the floor, Adrien leaned his head back as he silently begged and pleaded for the nightmares to leave him alone.

In fact, he would have been fine if it paused for a moment so he could think clearly; a moment for him to rest.

Just one moment . . .

"Adrien?"

Perking up slightly, Adrien turned his head slightly to gaze at the beautiful teenager standing before him. Even as she moved to sit across from him with a worried gleam in her eyes, Adrien couldn't help being transfixed by her. She just made everything seem better without doing anything at all.

"Marinette," he whispered in awe. "There you are."

"Here I am," Marinette greeted softly, almost as though she was choosing her words carefully. "Chloe said you needed me. How can I help you?"

Thinking out his next few words so he wouldn't become overwhelmed by emotions, Adrien slowly explained, "Today is the anniversary of my mother disappearing. I haven't been sleeping because of the same recurring nightmares, most being painful memories. Now, they show up during the day. Sometimes, I can't tell if they're real or my imagination."

"How long have you been unable to sleep?"

Pausing to really consider his response, Adrien guesstimated, "A week? Maybe longer? I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to be a bother to everyone."

"You are never a bother to anyone," Marinette reassured kindly. "Do you want to tell me about them? It may make you feel better?"

"I-I have three main ones," Adrien stammered nervously. "The first one was the moment I found out my mother had disappeared. That one, I can ignore fairly. Another . . . I'm so ashamed of. I just wanted to disappear so bad I—"

He stopped himself, gazing down at the hand that was over his, Adrien looked up to find the most beautiful, sympathetic smile he has ever seen.

"Tell me when you're ready," Marinette encouraged. "I can wait for as long as you need. Just know I won't think differently of you because of it."

Considering her words, Adrien sighed in light despair. "It was a couple months after my mother disappeared," he slowly retold the tale. "To help me get through the pain of losing her . . . I would hurt myself."

Marinette tensed at those words. "How?"

"A small pocketknife across my skin," Adrien answered softly, refusing to look at his beloved's face in case there was disappointment. "I would run the blade in spots that were easy to hide. When I ran out of room—"

" 'When'?" Marinette interrupted through a whisper. "You mean . . . you've hurt yourself that much . . . ?"

"I use makeup to cover the places clothes couldn't hide," Adrien continued, like she hadn't spoke. "One day, Chloe and her family came over for dinner so my father could discuss a business idea with her mother. Instead, they kept giving their condolences, saying how much they miss her . . . making me miss her worse than I already did. I couldn't handle their words anymore, so I went to my bathroom and began hurting myself in places that were obvious to see, like my arms, my hands, and even small parts of my neck."

"That's the reason why my father kept track of my every move for so long," Adrien reasoned logically. "He's the one that found me first before it was too late. I remember . . . him crying as he held me to his chest, begging me to live when I didn't want to. Nathalie called for the ambulance while the Mayor used his power to make sure the incident was never spoken about or out in the open to the public. Even after that, I didn't stop hurting myself . . ."

Adverting his gaze once more, he stared straight into the eyes of his beloved, whose emotions were hard to read. "Until I met you," Adrien insisted. "You made my life so much happier. I can't believe I didn't realize sooner that I love you."

Smiling at his words, Marinette softly cooed, "What about your last nightmare? Is it another life event?"

"No," Adrien denied instantaneously. "The last one . . . I can't tell you, because my secret would be compromised, and you'd be in danger." Staring off to the side, he grumbled under his breath, "I don't want to turn you to dust . . ."

There was a gasp. It was so quiet, Adrien wondered if he actually heard it. But then, the softest hands grasped his cheeks, forcing him to lock gazes once again with Marinette.

This time, she looked completely mystified, eyes wide with wonder as she whispered, "Kitty?"