Prompt: A story about someone seeking a fresh start after a tough year
Rating: G
Setting: Forlond, Lindon. Second Age.
Characters: Thranduil, Elrond, Oropher (mentioned), Gil-galad (mentioned)
Summary: At the start of a new Age, a young Thranduil feels burdened by his past and anxious over his future – he has no time for Yule or jolly Noldor. Elrond, one of said jolly Noldor, begs to differ and tries to show the stressed Sinda that there is still joy to be found even in the uncertain times they find themselves living in.
Thranduil rubbed at his tired eyes in defeat. The words on the page before him swam and no longer made any discernible sense.
Still, he made no move to get up, close his books, stretch his legs and take a break, but instead remained where he was. Seated in the darkest (and dustiest) corner on the highest floor of Forlond's central library.
For Oropher wanted him to continue on with his studies and Thranduil wanted to be left utterly alone with his thoughts. And so this dim corner worked well.
Or it had been…but alas, Thranduil could no longer concentrate on his books as his thoughts (worries really) about his uncertain future lay heavy upon his mind.
For they were only here in the Noldor dominated city of Forlond so that Oropher might speak with Gil-galad. Oropher, and indeed most of the Sindar in Lindon, chafed at and felt uneasy about being ruled over by a Noldor Lord and relations were growing increasingly fractious.
Things had never been easy between the two peoples - even as they had settled into Lindon with the one central bond of being war refugees. They had intermingled at first, but as the years wore on there became an ever clearer separation of the two; with the Sindar pulling away to the south to dwell in the region of Harlindon whilst the Noldor settled in Forlindon. Despite the divide however, Gil-galad maintained his right to Kingship over all in Lindon, and expected them to heed his commands such as they might be. Something that Oropher and a number of other Sindar Lords felt they could no longer tolerate.
And so here they were - in the Noldor capital town of Forlond - whilst Oropher and his fellows tried to broker a deal which would see the Sindar take up lordship and rule over themselves.
It was not going well so far as Thranduil could tell. They had been here for six months, and everyday Oropher returned to their temporary home seething and filled with frustration and an increasing loathing for the Noldor.
Thranduil was tired of it all. Oropher had brought him along to broaden his travel experience and to try to further involve him in the politicking his Adar so loved. But Thranduil had resisted - politics and power brought naught but headaches and heartache so far as the young blonde could see, and he wanted no part in it and had resisted Oropher's attempts to pull him into the talks.
Oropher, as frustrated with Thranduil's reluctance and he was with Gil-galad's high-handedness, had in the end conceded and left Thranduil to continue the studies which had been disrupted first by their fleeing of Doriath and then by this trip.
Thranduil pushed away his books and lay his head down upon the polished wood of his chosen desk.
He was so tired - more so in mind than in body. Worse, he was homesick. It was rapidly coming up to Yule and Thranduil had come to the realisation that they would be spending the holidays here in this foreign city. Thranduil sighed. He missed his Naneth and his best friend Aglardaer, both of whom remained back in Harlond.
Thranduil would have felt lonely had it not been for one young Noldo who seemed determined to be his friend.
Elrond Eärendilion was a rather determined ellon, and partly the reason why Thranduil was skulking about in this dank corner of the library. Elrond had invited him to a Yuletide party; a newly established tradition held annually by the Noldor youth of Forlond that took place upon the shores of the Gulf of Lhûn. The party was to take place that very day - indeed it was due to begin within the hour - but Thranduil couldn't feel less enthused if he tried.
It had been a long hard year filled with frustrations, disillusion and upheaval, and it had come swift upon the heels of other very difficult years. In fact, so far as Thranduil was concerned, every year since the first sacking of Doriath had been a hard one, and the young blonde could find no joy in him to spare for Elrond nor his light hearted pursuits.
Nay, he would hide out here and once he deemed it late enough that the party would be in full swing and Elrond suitably occupied he would sneak back over to the temporary apartments he shared with his Adar.
Now, if only he could manage to stave off the headache that threatened behind his eyes…
"Thranduil?"
Thranduil flinched at the surprising sound of his name and turned to see none other than Elrond - as though the other had been summoned by his recent thoughts.
"What are you doing here sitting in the dark and the dust? And why haven't you gotten ready for the party?"
"Ack Elrond, spare me - I am in no mood for all of this."
"All of what?"
Elrond's face creased in confusion.
"All of this!" Thranduil snapped. "I am in no mood for Noldor frivolities!"
Realising his words had been sharper than he'd intended he sighed, and not wanting to offend the one person in this Noldor damned city who had treated him with kindness, and as nothing more than a fellow elf, he gentled his tone.
"I'm sorry Elrond, but as you can see I am not good company this eve. Attend to your party and your friends - believe me, it shall be all the better without my dour presence to drag the mood down."
"Oh on the contrary mellon-nin, this party needs your dour mood - or shall I instead say your dour mood is in dire need of this party."
Elrond stepped up to his table, shut his books and grabbed Thranduil by the hand before he attempted to pull him up.
"Come on Thranduil. You need not be so serious in face and mood all the time. You are young, yet you oft behave as one as aged as Telperion or Laurelin."
Elrond's face was open and laughing; his poking at Thranduil evidently meant light-heartedly, yet Thranduil could not stop the rage that grew in his breast at Elrond's teasing. He jerked his arm free of Elrond's and when he replied his voice was glacial.
"Whilst I am pleased that your youth has been one filled with blissful gaiety, it was not so for all of us Elrond Peredhel."
"Elrond Eärendilion."
"What?" Thranduil snapped in irritation, confused by Elrond's response.
"I am Elrond Eärendilion - have you forgotten my parentage or more aptly lack thereof? Let me assure you Thranduil that you hold no monopoly on a misery and horror filled youth."
Thranduil breathed out long and slow - both because he had naught to say in response to that little rejoinder and in effort to calm himself. Nothing of his current situation was Elrond's fault and the other did not deserve his wrath.
"I am sorry Elrond," he spoke at last. "I misspoke in anger that ought not to be directed at you. Nevertheless I would ask that you go to your party and leave me be. I truly am in no mood for anything so light-hearted as Yuletide festivities."
"And what will you do instead? Sit here in the darkness and sulk? Or slink back to the apartments you share with your Adar to sit and brood and be alone? For I am sure even Lord Oropher will manage to put aside the very serious business he is here about and take some respite this eve - perhaps even have a celebratory drink or two."
"Do not presume to know anything of my Adar, Elrond," Thranduil scolded but it was without heat.
He was just so damned tired. Of everything. He did not feel he had the strength to do aught but sit in the dark and brood as Elrond had put it. Besides, it was not as though he did not have ample things to brood over.
Elrond sighed in the manner of one greatly exasperated before he spoke again.
"Whilst indeed I do not know much of your Adar, I do know he'd not want you to be so heavy of heart Thranduil. To carry so much upon you that you feel you cannot take a moment to make merry and be at ease."
Elrond placed a warm hand upon his shoulder and gave a squeeze.
"And that is all it is mellon, a moment of light-heartedness. I am not asking that you abandon all your cares and forevermore give yourself to merry making and become some kind of a drunkard or sluggard. I am simply asking you to come to a Yuletide party - have a little something to eat, a glass of wine or two and perhaps a game of darts or rook. And, if you truly cannot give up your brooding, then surely it is better to brood with a glass of wine in hand whilst surrounded by light and laughter? Or do you truly prefer dust and darkness?"
Thranduil snorted and shook his head.
"Has anyone ever told you that you are very insolent for one so young?"
"There is just over a century between us. I am not nearly so young as you make out son of Oropher."
Then Elrond stuck out his tongue in a childish display as if to actively counter what he had just said.
Thranduil gave a small laugh before he sobered again.
"I still say you ought to go ahead without me Elrond - even a glass from one of the finest remaining Doriath vintages does not tempt me this night. It is as you have said, I am burdened with much on my mind."
"Do you care to speak of it? A burden shared is a burden halved so they say."
Thranduil barely held back a snort. It was an entirely ridiculous saying. What would telling all to Elrond do to alleviate the worries that gnawed at his mind?
And yet…it was very tempting to do just that. Perhaps then his thoughts would cease their thus far unending circling and tormenting of him.
Ere Thranduil had time to come to a decision, Elrond spoke again.
"Is it your Adar's talks about the separation and self-rule of the Sindar that worries you?"
Thranduil gave him a sharp look and Elrond shrugged.
"I am King Gil-galad's herald-in-training - there is not much that happens in the palace that I am not aware of."
"So you are aware then of how poorly the talks are going? Of how likely it is that Gil-galad will refuse my Adar's request, how likely it is that we will leave Lindon." Thranduil ran a hand over his face wearily. "How likely it is that we will be dragged pillar to post again - refugees once more. Homeless."
Elrond's hand which hadn't left his shoulder squeezed again.
"I am sorry Thranduil. For all of it. And I understand, I truly do. I know what it is to lose kin and homeland, to feel displaced, to be a refugee, and a warrior tired to the depths of his soul of war. To wonder if you will ever know peace, or ever again have time to settle down and take up gentler pursuits. To find and have a home - that truly feels like your home."
Thranduil nodded and bowed his head to hide his face as he rapidly blinked away tears.
Elrond had hit the nail on the head. Thranduil just wanted to feel settled again, to know peace and to have a home. For he'd felt that his life had crumbled alongside Doraith - his dreams, plans and expectations all washed away as thoroughly as Beleriand had been. And now, just as he had started to feel somewhat at home in Harlond, these talks threatened to see those small beginnings swept away as well.
For he felt in his heart that the talks were doomed to fail, and even if they were not he knew sooner or later his Adar would state his intention to leave. For Oropher nursed an ever deepening dislike of the Noldor, and wanted to be as far away from them and their "destructive influence" as possible. Lindon with all its many and powerful Noldor would never be a place Oropher could permanently settle. And so Thranduil would be doomed to more upheaval and displacement and the seemingly never ending feeling of homesickness.
Thranduil took in a deep breath in an attempt at centring himself.
"If you know all of that Elrond then you know why I feel so heavy of heart and entirely unenthused about your party."
"Aye, I do understand. But I will say that though you have valid and weighty concerns, your worrying about them will not change the outcomes."
Thranduil stared at Elrond and the young Noldo shrugged.
"The talks will fail or they will not. Your people will leave Lindon searching for a home anew or they will not. Another war will come or it will not. But worrying about these outcomes influences them not at all. What will be will be - regardless of whether or not we spend centuries worrying over it. All worry truly does is rob us of what peace we might find in the now. We make ourselves miserable and it does not affect anything in the end. And so that is why, regardless of your burdens at present, you should give yourself some respite Thranduil. Try to find some joy amongst it all - that way you will remain strong in both mind and body. To live mired in misery and worry is to let Darkness win."
Thranduil pondered Elrond's words for a long moment before he stood up decisively and swept his books into a neat pile. Elrond was correct. He had let darkness and despair hold sway over him for far too long. It was time for a fresh start, time for him to enjoy living and his life again. It may not be what he had expected, and there was likely further unplanned changes to come, but so far he had survived every single one of his worst days and he could and would continue to do so. And he'd be all the stronger if he took hold of the chances at joy whenever they presented themselves.
He would begin right now.
"Has anyone ever told you that you are very wise for one so young?"
Elrond beamed but he said nothing and Thranduil was glad that the other did not gloat. He pushed his chair in, snuffed out the lamps then turned toward the door and held it open.
"After you then Elrond. I would see how the Noldor celebrate Yule, and judge what passes for good wine in Forlond."
Elrond laughed.
"Come along then son of Oropher, for I myself am rather curious to see if tales about the Sindar tolerance for alcohol are founded in any truth."
Smiling, Thranduil strolled from the room with his Noldo friend; his worries and fears very firmly pushed to the side for the time being.
He'd brooded for most of the day. It was time now for some fun.
END.
Adar – Father
Naneth – Mother
Ellon – Male elf
Mellon-nin / Mellon – My Friend / Friend
** Title taken from Lorde song 'Team'
A/N: And so here we have that angsty story that I promised you earlier in the week. Not very full of Christmas cheer but I had fun writing it regardless and I hope you have enjoyed reading it. Do drop me a one liner to let me know what you think, and tune in on Christmas Eve (24.12.23) for the third and final fic of my Christmas 'Trio of Thranduil'. See you then! KimicT