A/N: So after a bit of a break from writing due to writer's block, I'm back. All thanks to some fanart I found on Tumblr of a half dressed Eivor. All credit goes to the user Shouty-y's for drawing and creating the wonderful fanart of a half dressed Eivor for all the community to see. Apologies to those who have also saw the same fic on A03 too. You can just ignore if you've done so. To the others, let the Cracky story begin!
It was early evening and Oswald of East Anglia was finishing up for the day. He had already had a long day riding around East Anglia, making sure the Kingdom was in a good state - you know not being razed and burned down by Danes like the likes of the Great Heathen Army which was still a threat because Ivarr Ragnarsson was still alive.
Yes, Ivarr. Eivor had actually told him about the bald-headed madman maniac of a fool. In fact she had gone up to the midlands to work with them and form an alliance, one that Oswald couldn't understand why.
"It was Sigurd's idea. When we first came to England, he insisted on it. His first words on the longship were 'Where are these Great Danes. Where are the famous Ragnarsson brothers, I heard they came by and settled here. I can't wait to meet them in the flesh. Oh the stories we would make and the songs that would be sung after'
He had gushed to Eivor at the time to be disappointed when the truth came to the surface and that the Ragnarsson brothers weren't in Mercia like he thought they would be.
"Still, I don't get it. I don't get why you would want to work with a madman who goes around terrorising and killing people. You do realise he attacked East Anglia at one point. I don't like the sound of him" Oswald shook his head back in disapproval towards Eivor
Eivor let out a light chuckle upon seeing his pissed reaction.
"Oh relax, that was in the past. He's changed now. I see the way he treats Ceolbert. He has a kind and nice side to him. He's not all cold blooded like you think he is. Besides it's sometimes better to be friends with your enemies then to be at war with them. Well that's what Sigurd thinks. He wants me to befriend everyone across the country. It's also thanks to that that we even know each other in the first place, Or would you rather me have killed you on sight? I could of done that instead"
Oswald gulped as he thought back to their first meeting on the streets of Norwich on a sunny spring morning months ago.
Dear god no. She does have a point. I still think she can kill me sometimes, you know with the way she fights... Alright don't think about that...
Pushing his nerves back he answered
"True, I can't argue with that. And god no... I'm actually glad you didn't. Just be careful, I don't like the sound of that"
Eivor let out a grin as she stood up walking closer to him. Placing a hand on his cheek so he would look at her, she reassured him.
"Oh I will do don't worry. I'll come back in one piece. No one will get me. I always do. Don't worry I never wanted to kill you in the first place anyway when we first met. You were too cute to get skewered by my axe. That would of been a waste, you know letting someone as handsome as you go. I would of been stupid to have done that"
Oswald's shoulders slumped down in relief as he felt a grin etching across his face, feeling warmth at her words.
"That's good I'm glad you won't. I don't want you to get hurt while I just sit here and do nothing. And really you think? You think I'm good looking? I didn't know that" He squeaked at the end
Eivor couldn't resist as a small hearty laugh left her lips, booming across the empty longhouse.
"Yes, Silly. Yes I do think your good looking. You need to have more confidence in yourself."
Oswald's heart beat rapidly at those words as he felt giddiness and piping excitement brewing within him.
"Thanks. Your not too bad yourself. Actually that's an understatement. I think your beautiful" He stopped face burning bright red
I have never said those words aloud. Yes I have always thought and written it on paper, but never aloud. I just haven't been brave enough to do so.
Eivor looked over at Oswald who was flushing bright red, his cheeks as hot as the fire that was coming from the fireplace close to them. The poor guy looked embarassed and almost ashamed of himself.
Eivor's heart soared in warmth as a gentle smile formed.
No one's ever said that about me before, well not in a very long time. Glad he finds me attractive even when I come back with blood splatted all across my face and clothes. I mean, that's got to be the least attractive sight right?
"You find me beautiful? Wow I didn't know that. I always thought I was a sight for sore eyes especially with all that blood and gore that is stuck to me these days. I mean that's not the most attractive sight in town right?!" Eivor voiced her thoughts aloud, in slight disbelief
Oswald's expression immediately changed upon hearing her words. It quickly became stern and serious.
"Yes Eivor. I don't care if there is blood or another's man guts splattered all over you, I still find you beautiful. I always have done. So don't you ever forget that"
Her heart warmed at his words once more, as a strong warmth surged over her, flowing through her veins.
Oswald couldn't give less of a damn whether Eivor was coated from head to toe in blood, or whether she came home full of bruises and cuts with dishelved and messy hair, or that she smelt of stinky mud and sweat at times. He would always find her beautiful no matter what.
She smiled at him before leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek
"Thank you darling. That means a lot. I won't. Thank you for telling me. I love you"
Oswald nodded, happy once again that he had managed to help her see how beautiful she was.
"Good. I'm glad you won't because you are and you always will be. I love you too darling"
He proceeded to grab one of her hands as he placed a light kiss on it.
"I got to go now. Take Care. I'll be back in a few months. Love you" Eivor pulled back ready to leave
"I will do. You look after yourself and try not to get yourself killed. Love you too. Until then my love"
Eivor chuckled winking back "Oh you can count on it. I'll be back before you know it." and with that she disappeared.
That was four months ago since he last saw her, usually on average Eivor would be gone for around five months, sometimes six if the journey was longer such as Jorvik or Scoripsire so he was quite suprised when he went back to the Longhouse and saw her there.
Oswald stepped towards the Longhouse's back entrance as he dismissed Finnr.
"Alright Finnr. I'll see you in the morning you go have a good evening and rest now. We have another busy day tomorrow. You know the meeting with Halfdan and the other ealdormen. Take care now"
Eivor chuckled to herself as she heard Oswald's familiar voice in the distance to Finnr outside as she perched on the throne wearing nothing more than the furs from the fur blanket that they shared in their bedchamber.
In fact she had arrived earlier on in the afternoon and had used that time to bathe, shave and clean herself up so she could look her best in front of him. It had been four months after all. So she figured out this was the perfect entrance.
Oswald appeared in the doorway soon after only to freeze in shock at the sight in front of him.
"Eivor?" He hardly manage to utter out as his jaw dropped at the sight of her almost naked in front of him.
"Suprise!"
"Eivor What are you doing here back so early, Aren't you meant to be in Ledecestire right now?" He gulped as he flushed bright red he could feel a boner forming down there as he started to leak and get wet
No No no, not now! Focus. You don't want to wet your pants in front of her and make it that obvious. That would be embarassing
Eivor chuckled as she could tell he was struggling to keep his needs and desires in front of him as he stood in front of her beet red, desperately trying to contain his needs, but failing badly.
"I was. But I finished early. Don't you want to have a little fun? I mean you must be tired from all that work. You could do with some relaxation with me" She winked whilst twirling a strand of loose hair
I so want to. I could do with some relaxation. But over here in the main hall where everyone can see us? No no way.
Instead he chose to hide his desires and true feelings. Marching over to her, he grabbed her by the arm whilst flushing badly.
Averting his eyes away from the undecent view, he hissed trying to pull her away.
"Eivor! What were you thinking? I mean sitting in such a open space with nothing but a fur blanket wrapped around you, barely hiding your indecent parts from view, Where people can see you? In a public space?. Right. This stops now. Your coming with me and your going to get dressed properly this time. I can't believe you"
Eivor resisted instead pouting
"Don't you want to have fun? I know you want it. I can tell. Don't think that I can't see that bulge and wet patch there. The body doesn't lie"
Damn it. She caught me out. Stupid boner, Why does it have to show out? Ughhh She's won
Oswald raked and pulled at his locks in frustration as Eivor let out a sastified smirk, seeing that she had won. The dick really didn't lie when it came to these things.
"Fine. But not here alright? I won't be having you almost naked in front of everyone else. In our chambers and in front of me is fine, but no where else. Seriously. Please don't do that again"
Eivor grinned "Deal."
Oswald shook his head as he led Eivor to their chambers where there was more privacy.
God she is nuts. Some days I don't understand this woman. She really is insane, still I wouldn't change her for the world. Still, What the hell was that? Sitting in a open space almost naked with a blanket in open space. Couldn't she do it in the bedroom away from everyone else? Thank god no one else saw. I'd hate to think what they would do, especially other men.
With a sigh, Oswald opened the chamber doors having arrived. Eivor followed suit still with the fur blanket wrapped around her as they closed the doors behind them. Shortly after, moans and lust fuelled words could be heard echoing across the hallway. It continued like that for the rest of the night.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little short cracky ship and fic of mine. Once again the Stat Page isn't working (I know right, it's been months, sort it out already) so if you read this fic, can you leave me a Comment so I know that you did. I have another fic coming about Oswald and Valdis so this is the last Eivor/Oswald I will do for now. Until then guys, Peace!