Author's Note: Guess who finally got around to watching Paldean Winds last week? It me. And while the series is pretty great, obviously the most important takeaway is the fact that jumping off buildings is apparently Brassius's Defining Character Trait. So of course I had to do something Dumb(tm) with it, because what else do I do besides write Dumb(tm) stuff?

Leaps and Bounds

"Is it true that he jumps off windmills?!"

Hassel had watched the Academy's video project several times—it really was put together well—but he couldn't help a snort of amusement at Brassius's segment in the Gym Leader countdown. That was what Iono had deemed most significant? Well, he couldn't entirely say she was wrong, but…

"Come now, Hass, I find that flattering."

Brassius himself was sitting in the art room, too. He didn't have any challengers scheduled at the gym until later that afternoon, so he'd decided to visit Hassel at the Academy for lunch. Hassel just shook his head and set his phone down. Honestly, that reply was to be expected.

"You say that like you didn't tell her to include it."

"Well, only partly," Brassius replied, semi-indignantly. "Iono actually had a few suggestions for my part… Can you believe she had to ask what I wanted to go with?"

"I shouldn't be surprised," Hassel mused. "I, of course, might have gone for the Sunflora, but—"

"That was a close second, but battles are art as well, Hass. You know this. Entrances are part of the performance."

Well, Hassel supposed if they were going for something relevant to gyms, Brassius had a point. That was more directly a part of Brassius's battles… Maybe it was better to include that after all.

"It's too bad that I don't get to make as dynamic an impression as you do, then," Hassel replied wryly. "A bit better for my knees, though."

"I'll have to speak to La Primera on your behalf, then," Brassius replied, looking genuinely thoughtful. "The drop wouldn't have to be as high, of course…"

"Brassie…"

"Maybe something involving wind. Maximum majestic effects for your cape and hair…"

"I'm flattered, but I think I'll leave the drama to you."

Brassius sighed dramatically as he slumped down against Hassel's arm. "Fine. It would be unfair to the others if only you got the special effects, after all."

Hassel grinned as he leaned over to peck Brassius on the forehead. "There we go, Brassie. Thank you."

Brassius grinned briefly as well, but then he fell silent for a few seconds. Hassel recognized the look of concentration on his face, and he graciously remained quiet. Finally, Brassius straightened up and glanced at the ceiling.

"You know, speaking of jumping off things… The climb is half the fun."

"Yes, Brassie, I know. Or did you forget the time I found you on top of Katy's bakery?"

"That enhanced the buying experience for everyone involved," Brassius replied defensively. "Though it would've been improved with an even greater height. Do you think I could leap from the Academy's roof? That would be much better."

Hassel was halfway between incredulous and amused. "That's a bit much, even for you."

…That couldn't possibly be what he was thinking earlier, was it? Probably.

Brassius looked thoughtful again. "Could I at least climb the Academy? I could climb back down. I wouldn't need to jump if it would be better for your poor heart."

"I'm not that old, Brassie." Hassel elbowed him lightly. "But that might be for the best."

"Well, could I at least jump off this table?"

Hassel glanced down at the table they'd just finished eating off of. It wasn't nearly Brassius's preferred height, but he could let his boyfriend have some fun. Besides, given that it wasn't time for class or art club, there wasn't any student work in the way.

"You may," Hassel conceded.

Naturally, Brassius immediately stood up and started climbing onto the table. Hassel got up as well, briefly taking Brassius's hand for support as he first stepped onto a chair for the leg up. Finally, Brassius adjusted his position, bent his knees slightly, and—

The next thing Hassel knew, he was lying on his back, blinking up at the ceiling, as a very amused Brassius grinned down at him. Well, he really should've seen that coming, but it took him a second to catch his breath.

"Brassie, please, we're at school," he scolded, albeit half-heartedly.

"Do you see any students here?" Brassius replied slyly.

"…Well, no."

"And I had to do something to make it more exciting," Brassius continued, completely seriously. "If only the table was a little taller."

"That's fair," Hassel admitted, grinning as he reached up to put an arm around Brassius. "But one of us has to be professional here."

"I am extremely professional, Hass. You think I'm being dramatic, but I'm always thinking about my job."

"That you are."

"See? Let me have this."

Brassius shifted, reaching up to cup Hassel's face with one hand. Well, there were still a few minutes left of the lunch period—there weren't any students in the room. And if they were already down here, then they may as well take advantage of it… Hassel could follow the logic, and it wasn't like there was much more to be said on the current topic.

As such, he was wholly unsurprised when Brassius leaned down to kiss him. Hassel leaned up to meet him, bringing his free hand up to the back of Brassius's head. They were cutting it awfully fine, but they could indulge for a few seconds—

"Hassel, Director Clavell wanted to see you—oh."

Hassel made a slightly strangled noise of embarrassment as Brassius glanced up and broke the kiss. From his current position, Hassel had an upside-down view of Salvatore, who wore a rather knowing, cheeky grin. He still had one hand on the doorknob, and he made no effort to either come further into the room or go back out.

"Should I tell him he'll need to wait a little longer for the art club schedule?"

"N-no, I'll be right there," Hassel replied, his face reddening. "Brassie, please—"

"I have to say this is trés audacieux of you, Hassel." Salvatore winked. "Right here in your classroom! Comme c'est inattendu."

Without missing a beat, Brassius replied, "It's a satirical performance piece on the dangers of premarital intercourse, which is extremely relevant to a school full of teenagers."

"Brassie," Hassel wheezed.

"Which is really more Miriam's territory, ja?" Salvatore teased. "Though I have to say it's sehr charmant to see you with a less serious expression on your face, Hassel."

"See, he understands," Brassius whispered dramatically.

Still, he finally moved himself off of Hassel, allowing him to stand up. Thankfully, Hassel was spared the embarrassment of having to reply right away… Straightening his tie and jacket gave him an excuse not to speak for a few seconds. Finally, Hassel cleared his throat and looked back at Salvatore.

"Tell Clavell I'll be right to his office," he said, his face still a bit pink.

Salvatore winked again. "Yes, Hassel."

As he left the room, Hassel coughed awkwardly, and Brassius elbowed him in amusement.

"Does this mean I can't jump off any more tables?"

"Yes, it does. Though I'll look into scaling the Academy while I talk to the director."

"Thank you, Hass."

Well, at least he could say that lunch breaks with Brassius were never boring, Hassel thought as they left the room. He could only hope that Salvatore let him hear the end of it someday.