"Great work today, everyone. You managed to cover most of the area! Break time, and well deserved!"
At Onyankapon's voice, gloves and shovels were abandoned atop sparse blades of grass that managed to regrow through old ashes. The high sun had finally begun to lower, turning short young trees to tall slim shadows across the land that glowed orange.
The volunteers walked back to the tents to rest from the sun, but Levi and a select few others headed to the tables prepped with baskets of finger sandwiches and kettles of tea that had been meticulously prepared by Onyankapon himself before he called them to break.
Levi's leg ached a little more than usual, considering the squatted position required to plant seeds and trees. He wasn't much a gardener, but he appreciated being tasked to do something that built life again from barren land; it felt redeeming, like making up for all the years spent in violence. The pain, both physical and emotional, was never enough to prevent him from pushing on—at least having first access to the hot tea today already helped rejuvenate him from exhaustion.
The slice of a turkey sandwich was satiating, wiping the bit of dijon mustard that rested at the corner of his lips before looking out at the open lands. It didn't feel right to take a break and enjoy food and tea, and it almost felt wrong to think that the empty land ahead looked rather beautiful in the golden hour light. Was it okay to have such a peaceful moment when there was still so much damage to be repaired—so much land left to cover, replant and treat in the aftermath of the rumbling? He wondered if he deserved nice, simple moments like this after war.
Levi patted a towel to the bead of sweat that ran down his temple, then threw it over his shoulder. The metal cup he'd filled with hot tea blew streams of heat flying visibly into the air; he could almost feel the heat of thousands of Colossals just like it was yesterday. He gripped the cup by the rim with two fingers, swirling it to cool and letting the steam dissipate before rising again. Suddenly, the still, black liquid began to ripple rhythmically. Maybe he was seeing memories of the rumbling again. Or…
"CAPTAIN LEEEEVIIIII!"
The yells of Gabi and Falco sounded the air in unison as they sprinted from afar. The determined and excited look on their face let Levi know they were likely racing and betting who would get to him first.
He shook his head and instinctively prepped two more cups of tea at the table, setting it at the edge of the surface for his unexpected visitors. Falco hunched on the ground in front of Gabi in defeat as she claimed her not-so-humble victory.
"Oi! The hell are you guys causing a ruckus for? And what are you doing here?"
"Captain!" Gabi snapped back, finally remembering the original reason they had come (her competitive nature made her easy to distract). She grabbed Falco's hand and led them to the table. They both had a sly expression as they approached. "Captain, are you excited for tomorrow?"
Levi blinked at the two teens. "First, you two don't need to call me captain anymore," he said as he roughed up Gabi's hair with a palm and turned to Falco. "Second… What's tomorrow?"
The two looked raised brows at each other, surprised that Levi must not have known. They nodded between each other, silently deciding who would have the honor to break the important news. Falco shifted his shoulders and spoke as Levi took a sip of tea. "Mikasa is visiting."
Levi choked on his drink and needed a moment to recover, wiping away the wasted black tea he had coughed and dripped from his chin. He gulped and regathered himself. "Who is visiting?" He wanted to make sure he heard that clearly.
"Mikasa!" Gabi exclaimed as she bit her lip with excitement.
He took a deep breath and held it before letting it out. "…Okay. And you came all this way to tell me this?"
"Well, we figured you'd want to see her and we wanted to help plan things for her stay." Falco's smile faded to disappointment when he caught sight of Levi's frown. "You do want to see her, right…? I thought you two were close."
"It's… been awhile." Levi looked away and cleared his throat, pouring more tea into his cup to distract himself. He didn't deny wanting to see her. It was just complicated, and not much he'd be willing to explain to them. "I'll see her if I'm free. Work's just been busy." That was a lie. He looked out to the open lands, at Yelena and the others lounging around and laughing at something Onyankapon said a few tables away. "Might not catch her this time around."
"Doesn't seem busy…" Gabi mirrored Levi's frown. "You can take a day off! Come on, it's for Mikasa."
"Look, tomorrow's work is too—"
"HEY, MR. ONYANKAPON!" She waved violently at the man from afar with a beaming smile. "Can Captain have tomorrow off?!"
Onyankapon bellowed from where he stood. "Of course! What for?"
"Miss Mikasa is visiting for a week!"
"Ah—that's right—she is! Levi, take the whole week off and escort her!"
"Thank you! Captain is shy and was trying to use work to avoid seeing h—"
"Dammit!" Levi yanked her back to her seat before she could finish. "Pipe down already." Did everyone know about her visit besides me?
"See, Levi!" She patted Levi's shoulder aggressively before giving Falco a fist bump. "Now you have no excuse."
"Great."
"Mikasa will be at the port tomorrow morning."
He sipped his tea.
"…And someone should be there to welcome her."
Levi remained silent.
"Oh, stop playing dumb, Levi!" Gabi snapped at him. He was testing her patience.
Falco held her back nervously. "You should be the one to welcome her, Captain."
"Why me—"
"BECAUSE WE SAW YOU GUYS KISS BEFORE SHE LEFT!" Gabi blurted loud enough for all the surrounding volunteers to turn. Falco immediately covered her mouth to shush her. "I mean... Because you're her old captain?" Gabi grinned nervously as she tried to save her blunder.
A silent moment passed. Levi could feel all eyes on him, and the swirl of memories didn't help.
When Mikasa visited two years ago on a whim, she had stayed in Onyankapon's flat where Levi had been living, too, while Onyankapon was away for some days. And tea turned to necessary talks turned to confessions, and confessions turned into tears and then to touches. And bodies became connection and passion that had never been felt before. And it was beautiful. Of course, Levi wouldn't dare admit to the two that he and Mikasa shared more than just a kiss the night that she left back to Hizuru.
And Levi stopped writing back when the heavy realization hit him that he loved Mikasa Ackerman.
He didn't think anyone had seen their kiss two years ago, especially not those two. But it was true. Mikasa had kissed him long and slow at the threshold. And... Levi let her leave, watching the boat slowly slip into the horizon. It haunted him more than the rumbling itself.
Levi stood to retreat, a glum expression on his face. Rustling and chatter returned to the volunteers who realized they had been a bit nosy.
But in a split-second deliberation, Gabi yanked him back down by his shoulder and warned him. "Stay." This time, Falco also stood to block Levi's path.
"Fine." Levi leaned back, folding his arms in his chest with a sigh of defeat at being scolded by two teens. He felt a bit better when he saw Gabi wasn't safe from Falco's scolding, either, for admitting so loudly what they'd seen that night. Still... No talking out of this one now. "…So you saw that, huh?"
"Duh! And see, I told you, Falco!" Gabi said dumbfounded, but with a newfound excitement while scooting closer to Levi now that he finally, finally admitted the romance they had guessed. They were also relieved Levi didn't lash out about it.
"Why haven't you asked about it til now?"
Gabi relaxed her shoulders and slumped. "I guess... Because it felt sad. It seemed like a breakup, so we didn't want to ask. And ever since then, you get all weird and awkward whenever we say her name."
"Gabi, don't call him weird and awkward…" Falco corrected her and continued. "What Gabi is trying to say is—"
Levi pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Look, I know what you two are trying to do here, but Mikasa and I… We don't talk anymore."
"Well, why not?"
"It's... adult stuff. You wouldn't understand." The truth was that he didn't really understand, either.
A finger pointed at Levi in the face. "But you're still in love with her!" Gabi hissed the accusation quietly this time, trying not to let the others hear again. The gloss in her eyes revealed she was obviously fully invested.
Levi knew well enough he wouldn't hear the end of it if he tried to deny it, and he pretended not to see Gabi's tears. He almost felt flattered that they would care enough to bother him with this. "Yeah, well, it's too late, anyway. We haven't talked or seen each other since then. A lot can happen in a couple years." He bit the inside of his cheek and stared intently at the cup in front of him. "...That woman's probably married by now."
"Tch, no way! Mikasa would have invited us... Right?"
"I agree," Falco chimed in, offended. "Well, I hope so."
They made a good point; no matter how quiet the past two years have been, Levi couldn't imagine Mikasa leaving them in the dark. Maybe him, after what happened. But certainly not them.
"Anyway, don't worry about that. Because if not…" Gabi nudged Levi with a playful elbow, pointing at her ring finger with a cheeky grin. "Then you still have time to put a ring on Mikasa, right, Levi? It's still possible!" She continued showing off her imaginary wedding ring, letting her imagination run rampant.
"Gabi, don't just say that to him!" Embarrassed, Falco waved a hand in the air and apologized to Levi.
Levi actually stopped to think about it, though. He was 38 years old, and everyone always bothered him about needing to settle down soon now that the war was over: get a property, find a fine lady, raise a family—they would always recite the same shit, as if there was some rush. Some even tried to introduce Levi to women, but there was no connection or attraction. Through every conversation, or every woman Levi would be forced to meet, still Mikasa remained at the forefront of his mind every day.
Gabi and Falco were right. Levi was still in love with Mikasa, even two years after their secret night.
He chickened out, he panicked, and he wondered what it'd have been like if he wasn't afraid, if he had kept writing, and... He wondered if she loved him, too. If she ever did, at least.
Maybe then they'd be married and settled down by now.
Something must have slipped past his expression to make the teens giggle, snapping him out of his silent daydream. He's probably daydreaming about marrying her, Gabi whispered to her boyfriend.
Levi flicked Gabi's forehead and swatted the daydream away as he sipped warm tea again through his thumb and index finger. "You're ridiculous. And I am not asking a woman I've never even been on a date with to marry me." He winced at the accidental confession.
"Oh… You haven't been on a date with Mikasa yet?" Falco seemed flabbergasted.
"And that's exactly why you should let us help instead of sulking and being stubborn," Gabi begged, tugging at the sleeve of his green flannel. "We can set up a date for you! It may be two years later but it's not too late!"
Levi shook his head. "I'm sure as hell not gonna have two kids ask a woman out on a date on behalf of me." He laughed at the ridiculousness of it. "Don't need help."
"Clearly, you do because you didn't even know she was coming! You would've completely missed her! And we just got you the week off. You need us." Gabi poked at him teasingly. "Plus, you could take some advice from Falco. He may not seem like it, but he's a total romantic. It's how he landed a perfect, smokin' hot girlfriend."
Falco spoke up to change the subject, embarrassed and blushing at the praise. "We don't mean to pry and interfere… It's just that we like you both. And we like you even better together."
"You guys look happiest when you're together," Gabi added.
Falco nodded. "Mikasa is really kind. She reminds me of my brother sometimes. And I wish I got to tell him a lot of things before he…"
Everything quieted down. Gabi reached across the table to hold Falco's hand as he thought of his brother. She caressed his knuckles and Levi visibly saw him relax again.
"What I mean is, it's not good to bottle it in and run away for that long. You should at least tell Mikasa when you see her again." Falco squeezed his girlfriend's hand and smiled her way. "That's what I did. I don't regret it." Gabi squealed and came around to Falco's side for a kiss on the cheek. A red blush painted across the boy's face.
Levi winced at the public affection but got over it quickly. He stared and appreciated the display of young love, the way they smiled at each other. It warmed his heart. Falco was right. To think he was looking up to a couple of 16 year olds. Young people could now live in a world where they'd feel safe enough to embrace love in a way he never could, and he felt rather envious.
And then it hit him—he and Mikasa live in that same world now, too. Safe enough to love, or at least try to.
"Look. I'll make you two a deal." Levi leaned one elbow on the table, and the other hand rested on his aching leg as the two leaned closer to listen. "I'll ask her out on one date if she doesn't show up with a ring—"
The two made noises of excitement and victory, banging on the table obnoxiously.
"Listen! Just. One. Date." Levi repeated with a warning look on his face. "…But only if you both agree to leave Mikasa and I the hell alone that day."
"Aww…" Gabi and Falco whined in unison, pausing their celebrations and slumping on the table again. "But we wanted to help be part of this."
Levi patted both of their heads and smiled. "You've helped enough already. And wanting to be part of it is exactly why you gotta leave us alone. Understood?"
"…Understood."
"Alright. Now come on." Levi slammed a hand to the table and downed the rest of his tea before standing to his feet with sudden enthusiasm. He took a step away then stopped to look at the confused kids. "You can come with me to choose flowers, at least. And maybe an outfit. Don't know what the hell to wear."
The two young ones looked at each other with giddy smiles and downed their tea before running to join Levi. The three waved goodbye to the workers before heading back to the car as they bombarded Levi with unsolicited dating advice.
No ring was seen on Mikasa Ackerman's left hand the morning she arrived at the London port.