Hexside School's Roll of Dishonour
Yuletide Special
A/N: Happy Holidays to you all! Here's a little present to celebrate the season: one extra chapter of this little oddity of mine. Hope you like!
NOTICE TO ALL STUDENTS: Do not consume the candied eyes that were left in everyone's lockers. If you have eaten any already, please have a classmate escort you to the Healer's wing at once so that they may begin working on removing the enchantment from your person. I cannot promise that they will be able to remedy you in the immediate future, but at the very least you will be out of earshot from the rest of us so we may have some peace and quiet.
Adrian Vernworth) No, this is not a 'Bard-pocalypse' at play, merely the latest Clawthorne Calamity unfolding. Please stop trying to convince the Oracle Track students that the end-times have arrived. They predict that with disturbing regularity already.
Alador Blight) Gift-giving is not supposed to be a competitive sport, especially when the 'contest' in question is less about the gifts and more about how elaborately you can insult each other.
Amber Sap) Ms Meow may have found your gesture to be sweet, but I am not so appreciative of the results, and neither are the cafeteria staff. You will spend your detention this evening rounding up and disposing of all the singing broccoli you brought to life.
Darius Deamonne) As I understand it, the human ritual of the 'Secret Santa' hinges on the idea that no-one can know who gave them what gift, as that would defeat the purpose. Therefore, your 'gift' to Mr Blight of a time-activated Abomination instructed to perform a fully-choreographed song-and-dance number telling him in exhaustive detail why he is a 'hack and a bore' would obviously indicate that it had come from you. Therefore, you do not have 'plausible deniability' and I will not accept any excuses to the contrary.
Derwin Beck) Your efforts to counteract the effects of the enchanted candies with the addition of your own musical stylings were not in any way helpful. All you succeeded in doing was making them sing even louder.
Eberwolf Hart) You got the swans and the French hens the wrong way around. The lyrics are 'Three French hens' and 'Seven swans a-swimming'. Therefore, you should have procured a total of forty-two swans if you were aiming to be fully accurate. Nonetheless, please return said swans back where you found them. They are a protected species in the Human Realm.
Edalyn Clawthorne) No, it was not funny. It wasn't even well-executed, assuming your intention was to have everyone who ate those candied eyes sing the entirety of the song. Instead, you messed up the spell so badly it resulted in all the afflicted being forced to scream only the words 'Jingle Bells' over and over again without pause. You are to report to the Healer's Wing at once and provide them with as many details as you can so as to help bring this nightmare to an end as swiftly as possible. Also, you are not permitted to wear earplugs while you are there. Have fun.
Flora D'splora) The historical origins of the festival of Yuletide are certainly a fascinating area of study for those who find such things interesting. For others however, the season is merely a time for celebration and nothing more. If your fellow students don't wish to attend your presentation, it is not a personal slight, and you should not retaliate by mixing crushed enchanted candied eyes into their drinks.
Gilbert Park) You and Mr Field are to report to the Healer's Wing for treatment, and are to remain there until your affliction has been remedied. Take some earplugs with you.
Harvey Field) You and Mr Park are to report to the Healer's Wing for treatment, and are to remain there until your affliction has been remedied. Take some earplugs with you. Also, no, you may not seek revenge against Ms Clawthorne, no matter how deserved you or I believe said vengeance to be.
Hettie Cutburn) I am willing to allow you to assist in the matter of remedying the latest Clawthorne Calamity, provided you refrain from removing any body parts as you do so. Yes, that includes your own. Cutting your own voice box out may indeed free you from the effects of the candies, but unless you are one hundred percent certain you can put it back later, best not to risk it.
Katya Meow) As you no doubt witnessed first-hand, your rigging of the Secret Santa draw did not have the effect you likely intended.
Kikimora Minnow) The Yuletide decorations we put up around the school were perfectly fine. Your additions were not. Take down all of the light-up Emperor Belos heads at once.
Lilith Clawthorne) The parcel you received was likely not intended for you, and you were indeed quite right to dispose of it in a discreet manner. Unfortunately, your method of disposal was not at all discreet, and we now have a sizable amount of self-propagating, seemingly sentient mistletoe running rampant in the gymnasium. Report to the Plant Track staff after school so you may assist with the disposal efforts.
Mason Stone) Your restraint this year is appreciated. We will be looking into the possibility of making your grotto a permanent feature of the school grounds, provided you are willing to assist with relocating it somewhere less intrusive than right outside my office.
Morton Law) In future, please ensure that your cauldron has been thoroughly cleaned before using it to mix drinks intended for mass consumption. However, I will admit that it was quite amusing to see your classmates all turn various shades of green, red and white as a result of your mistake. They certainly matched the season's aesthetic quite well.
Odalia Omen) You are to report to the Healer's Wing for treatment, and are to remain there until your affliction has been remedied. Take some earplugs with you. Yes, you may send your summon out to collect your classwork to complete while you remain there, provided that is all you order it to do. Don't play innocent, you know full well what I mean.
Perry Porter) If I find out you were involved in Ms Meow's rigging of the Secret Santa draw for the purpose of engineering an opportunity to provide commentary for the outcome that transpired, I will be assigning you as the mascot for the Grudgeby game against St Epiderm next semester. I think we all remember what happened last time our mascot appeared on the field.
Raine Whispers) Might I recommend that you book a counselling session with our guidance officer to help you with your stage fright? Your performance was lovely, but it would have been much more entertaining without you delivering it from inside a box.
Steve Tholomule) I am unfamiliar with the exact lore regarding this 'Father Christmas' character from the Human Realm, but I am fairly certain he did not deliver presents via motorcycle, much less a motorcycle outfitted with a rocket of such power it tore your sidecar off and sent it hurtling into the roof with enough force to demolish it. Once again, I must insist that you stop allowing Mr Blight to help you work on your bike.
Vitimir See) Mr Law's mistake was just that: an honest mistake. You, on the other hand, will be receiving detention for deliberately spiking his drink with a potion to turn him into a living strobe light.
Roger Wrath) Your parcel was received by the wrong Clawthorne sister. Just thought you should know.
Hello everyone! Not Scot here, wishing you all Happy Holidays! Whether you celebrate Christmas or Yule or something else I'm unfamiliar with, I hope you have a great time!
This is just a little something extra, not a proper continuation, but I hope you all found it funny nonetheless. And if not, well, comedy isn't my best skill I guess.
This isn't all for today though. A new chapter of 'Family' will be up soon after this as well, so hop on over and give that a read if you fancy (it's not Holiday-themed I'm afraid, as it's a chapter I half-finished back in October and only now managed to complete).
As for 'RWBY Re:Mixed', the Volume 2 finale is on the way, and I give you my word it will be done before the year is over. It just won't be before Christmas, as I'm gonna be busy.
Well, I'd better upload the other thing next, so for the time being (here at least) I shall take my leave.
Until next time,
Not Scot.
P.S: Would any of you be interested in a sequel to this following the present-day cast? I might have a few ideas to play with…