SPACING OUT
"Are you ready for this evening, Ranma ?"
"Ready… for what ?"
Akane inwardly sighed, but nothing showed on the outside.
"For the MRI scan that you have to take at the hospital."
"Ah yes… well… I'm not sure I am ready, but I guess I must be, that I like it or not."
"I do hope they'll be able to identify the cause of your memory disorder, and that the treatment they'll prescribe you will be efficient."
"Yeah, so do I… I mean, I can't continue living and forgetting always more and more things as days go by. Otherwise… who knows…I might end up forgetting even my identity. Imagine me looking at my reflection and asking it : "Hey, who are you, buddy ?"
He said all that on a joking tone, as if it really was amusing.
"That's not funny, Ranma. Imagine it really happens ! Imagine it goes that far !" she protested obviously shocked by such a possibility.
He smiled confidently at her.
"Nah, don't worry, Akane, it certainly won't go that far !"
"But, you don't know, Ranma ! You don't know ! So you can't tell for sure ! We don't even know why or how you got this, so what do we know about the outcome ?!"
He goggled at her.
"Hey, calm down, ! No need to fret like that ! I was just trying to keep it cool and avoid you to worry, that's all."
Her expression softened.
"That's kind of you to avoid me to worry, but I can't help it. I will always worry for…"
She paused, unsure she should voice it aloud, but eventually…
"…for the one I care the most for."
She gently took his hand between both of hers, and her gaze said it all.
"Ranma… I want you to have a happy life…"
She swallowed her saliva.
"I want us to have a happy life…"
He couldn't take his eyes off her.
"Akane, I –"
"Ran ! Hey Ran !"
They instantly knew who it was, because only one person nicknamed him 'Ran'. And while the official fiancée was getting along pretty good with the officious one, she presently deeply disliked her interruption
Just when we were having a moment… awesome…
The okonomiyaki girl, who had just spotted the couple as she was walking by at the nearest crossroads, hurried to them and, after greeting Akane, she as usual focused her attention on that pigtailed boy who had no less than 4 women smitten with him.
"Long time no see, Ran ! Hope you didn't forget about me, did you ?"
The short-haired brunette sensed that a problem was coming, but since Ukyo had just greeted him, it would be both very rude AND suspicious to try to immediately drag him away, no matter the pretext given. So she chose not to intervene.
"Hey Ukyo ! Yeah, been a while for sure… and I still remember you !"
Akane made an unconvinced kind of pout with her lips.
Up to now, at least… but until when, if he keeps forgetting and remembering wrong…?
"I mean, how could I forget a girl with…" His eye caught a detail. "…such a large spatula ?"
She raised an eyebrow.
"A spatula ? Mmmmpf, I would have preferred to hear about my beautiful eyes or long shiny hair… Seriously, Ran !" She half-playfully punched him in the shoulder. "And kind of weird to hear you call me 'Ukyo'. I'm so used to 'Ucchan'…"
He was caught by surprise.
"Ah… uh… ok, but your real name is Ukyo, isn't it ? So nothing wrong with calling you that, right ?"
The chef half-closed her eyes, sensing that something wasn't right.
"No, nothing wrong. But you never call me that." She assessed his attitude. "Are you alright, Ran ?"
"Not bad, no… Ucchan."
She noticed two fishy things : first, his reply wasn't as enthusiastic as she expected, since she thought he would go for 'just fine' or 'pretty good'… which indicated he didn't feel that good; and second, he has used her nickname, this time, but only after a brief pause, as if he was adding 'Ucchan' after recalling it, so as to convince her that he remembered it. So that added nickname appeared forced, unnatural.
"You're not acting like yourself… Hum… Anyway, when will I see you at Ucchan's ? It's been a while since you last showed up there…"
"At… Ucchan's ?" he repeated, perplexed. "But didn't you tell me that Ucchan-"
"Come on, Ranma, don't play innocent !" Akane abruptly cut him, as she sensed the catastrophe coming. "You know full well you haven't been to Ukyo's restaurant, Ucchan's, for a long time now ! It's only fair she'd remind you of dropping by, every now and then ! I understand her !"
"Ah yes, her restaurant… It's true I haven't visited it these past weeks, Uk-… Ucchan !"
The chef's eyes were fully narrowed now.
"Ran… had you forgotten about my restaurant ? Or my restaurant's name ?"
Akane bit her lip but decided this couldn't last.
"Look, Ukyo, Ranma has been extremely tired lately, and we've seen him made some confusions about things he usually knows well. The lack of sleep is cause of it. And that's pretty much why he's been acting so weird these days, and kinda distracted… distant… He's spacing out because of the lack of sleep. But we're working on it, and we'll both go to the doctor later on !"
At least one truth hidden among the lies…
"Really ?" the young cook replied, wondering if she should buy it or not.
"Yes, really. I'm worried about him…"
Another truth.
"…but I'm sure we'll be able to cure that insomnia. It's not such a serious disorder."
"Well, okay… but if it starts making him confuse things…" remarked Ukyo.
"We'll see what the doctor says. And we'll keep you informed, don't worry." She turned to her embarrassed – and alas embarrassing… - fiancé. "Let's go, Ranma. We've got stuff to do before going to the doctor. Come on !"
And the pair walked away kind of hastily, under the suspicious gaze of Ukyo…
-/-
The couple was walking quickly in the streets of Nerima, to make sure they wouldn't be late for the appointment.
Little did they know that there was another one walking just as fast…
…and that this other one was surreptitiously following them, walking on the opposite sidewalk to avoid being spotted !
At some point, a problem occurred : at a crossroad, Ranma turned left while Akane was turning right… but fortunately, she immediately realized his mistake and hurried after him.
The mysterious spy could see them point each in a different direction, and argue for a moment. But Ranma eventually gave in and followed Akane to the right. Yet this got the follower wondering… Could the boy have forgotten the correct itinerary ? Or perhaps he had been remembering it wrong…?
Finally, the pair arrived at the hospital and, after they had entered, the spy sat on a distant bench and started to wait…
As for the fiancés, they explained their case at the reception office, and were guided to the corresponding department, where they were attended to by a medical assistant.
But when came the time of the scan…
"I'm worried… What if they find a tumor ? If a cancer is developing inside my brain…?"
She seized his hand and gently squeezed.
"Then they'll do their best to help you… and so will I. We will all be by your side, Ranma, no matter what. The whole family will support you through thick and thin… but I'll be the one who'll remain closest to you, at all time. And you know why…"
Her eyes couldn't remain set on his, and shifted to the side.
But when he replied : " I know… and it's reciprocal…" , they instantly locked with his blue eyes again.
Their stare lasted for a few seconds… until the medical assistant came to tell them the doctor was ready for the MRI scan.
Two minutes later, Ranma was lying on a kind of long white table… which slowly moved forward, bringing the poor boy into a sort of narrow tunnel…
He did his best to keep his eyes closed… and not worry too much.
-/-
"So, Doctor ? What does it look like ?" worriedly asked the brunette.
"Well.." he began, then quickly glanced at the pigtailed teenager who was intensely staring at him. "I've never seen anything like this. And honestly, it troubles me. But I'll let you have a look, then we can discuss."
He handed them a few X-ray shots and observed their reactions.
The shots showed the inside of Ranma's head… but in several places of it, there were dark spots of irregular shapes. As if there had been black stains on the lens of the MRI device, and that it had resulted in an incomplete picture.
The couple gazed intently at each shot, with wide eyes and open mouth, not sure exactly how to interpret what they saw… which, in the end, prompted Ranma to ask what these dark spots were.
"Honestly, I'm not sure. It looks as if some parts of your brain had gone missing, were disappearing. You told me you were forgetting always more things, didn't you ? Well, this is related to those black areas. And what especially worries me is that they are multiplying. If only one part of your brain was involved, and that things remained that way, it wouldn't be so serious. But what I deduce, when I look at those shots, is that this phenomenon of oblivion is becoming widespread. It's generalizing."
"But… but how can some parts of my brain… disappear ?! That's… crazy !" his young patient loudly said.
"Hum… to be honest, I'm not certain they have disappeared. Those black spots in your brain could mean an absence of matter… but it could also represent some… "dark matter", if I can put it that way. In other words, it might indicate that some regions of your brain have turned black. So they would still be here, but now black and no longer pink, as they used to be. And this could indicate that these regions are… well… dead. Or rather : inactive. That they have stopped functioning. I'm not sure which one of the two : absence… or deactivation of those parts ? But most importantly : I'm clueless regarding the origin of this phenomenon, the reason of its occurrence."
Ranma wasn't sure exactly what to say, he was too taken aback by the eventuality mentioned by the specialist.
Parts of my brain could be… dead ?
Realizing he was shocked and therefore couldn't react for the time being, Akane turned her gaze from Ranma to the practitioner and asked him the vital question :
"But… what can we do about this ? What can we do to stop this ?!"
"You told me earlier that two doctors already tried natural medicine on him, without success, is that right ? Mmmmh… Then we'll have to try scientific methods. We can resort to injections or ingestion of preparations that can stimulate memory, notably based on zinc, magnesium or ginkgo., which are substances related to memory."
"And if it doesn't work…?"
This time, it was him asking the question. He was visibly anxious.
"Then… we might consider a surgical intervention."
"You mean… an operation ? Opening my skull ?" the young patient loudly asked.
Somewhat embarrassed, the specialist slowly nodded…
-/-
On the way back home, the pigtailed boy was silent.
Silent as he had never been.
Feeling very sorry and sad for him, yet still willing to support him and cheer him up, she made some attempts at comforting him, doing her best to have him reply and open up to her, share with her his current reflection, his ideas about his condition and the possible solutions that could be considered for the treatment…
…but he remained mute and merely kept walking, not squeezing her hand like she was squeezing his.
Deactivated… or dead parts of brain…
…surgical intervention…
It certainly wasn't encouraging or comforting.
Their stalker could notice the slumped shoulders of the boy, and how the girl turned to him several times, visibly trying to spark a discussion.
But while this was worrying for the mysterious follower, what might be even more was seeing Ranma attempt to turn left at some point… and being brought back to the right, with Akane showing him the correct direction.
It was the second time that he was mistaking the itinerary, that day.
That wasn't like him, and that go the stalker thinking….
And once the shadowing was over, as the couple was walking away, observed intensely by the spy, the latter expressed her concern aloud : "What's happening to you, Ran…?"
She had sensed earlier that something wasn't right… and now, proofs of her fiancé's issues were showing !
-/-
The match had begun thirty minutes ago and the Furinkan team had the lead, being 10 points ahead.
Ranma was in his element and he remembered about the rebound, probably mostly because Akane had been reminding him of it and insisted that he made sure to be present each time for the rebound.
His teammates seemed pleased with his performance, especially Hiroshi and Daisuke, who had been somewhat apprehensive of their friend's behaviour, to be honest…
But the way things were going indicated that it was fine and that they had been wrong to worry.
Until…
Ranma caught the ball, on the side… and hesitated.
He made a wince, shutting his eyes, and winced.
"Man, you okay ?" asked Daisuke.
No reply came… but something unsettling then occurred : Ranma started in direction of… Furinkan's basket !
Everybody was astounded… but Hiroshi regained self-control just in time to call him out.
The pigtailed boy, still bouncing the ball, turned to look at his buddy.
"Where are you going, dude ? We must score in THAT basket, over there !"
Hiroshi was pointing at the other basket, across the basketball field.
"Oh yeah, sorry, I just… ah, whatever !" Ranma screamed out to him, before turning back and passing the ball to his friend.
Daisuke made a face, clearly surprised and doubtful, but decided to keep on playing.
"Akane, what's wrong with Ran lately ?"
The youngest Tendo looked to her right and saw the okonomiyaki chef standing there, body turned towards the players but head towards her "rival in love".
"Hi Ukyo ! Well… as I told you, he's pretty tired these days and that brings around some confusions. I hope it doesn't get more serious than this."
She hated to lie, honestly she did, and only resolved to twist or hide the truth for imperative reasons… and this was one of them. None of their friends and acquaintances was aware of Ranma's trouble, save for Ryoga, but she wouldn't tell anyone else without Ranma's permission… even if she did respect and get along with Ukyo pretty well.
"Yes, you already told me about the lack of sleep… but what did the doctor say, when you went to see him ? " questioned the long-haired brunette.
"That he should be careful and make sure to go to sleep early enough. And to take sleeping pills if need be." answered the short-haired one, feeling uneasy at all that lying, yet uttering it without hesitation, to make it credible.
"Nothing else than that ?!" asked the cook, showing disbelief.
"Not that I know of…" cleverly countered the martial artist, offering a half-truth there (a plain 'no' would have been, in contrast, an entire lie).
The "spatula girl" didn't insist and resumed watching the game.
The latter continued well for Furinkan, with a gap of 17 points between their team and their opponents'. Ranma was still one of the key players of the team, scoring pretty regularly. Victory would be theirs, all the more since there were only 6 minutes left…
…when the pigtailed teenager suddenly froze on the side of the basketball field.
His head turned right, then left, glancing at both baskets in turn.
"Guys, I…" A wince of pain. "That basket ?" he tried, pointing at the right one with the ball.
"Yeah, that one ! Come on, Man, hand over the ball !" shouted Daisuke, raising his hand… and instantly receiving said ball.
Akane felt really bad.
He's losing his sense of direction… like yesterday, when we were going to and coming back from the hospital… It's getting too serious !
The game finished on a score of 47 to 33, and while the Furinkan players were clearly happy about the results, all of them cast embarrassed looks at the efficient pigtailed player… but who had showed some unexpected confusion, that none of them had ever seen him display.
"Man, what happened to you during that game ? You lost your bearings or what ?" asked Daisuke.
"Yeah, you seemed… lost indeed !" remarked Hiroshi.
Ranma hung his head.
"I'm sorry, guys, but I don't wanna talk about it. I'm… not doing too good lately. Sorry for the poor performance."
"No, you did great. You scored many points. But it's just –"
"Sorry, I gotta go home now… I'll do better next time… I hope…"
But before he could actually leave them, Ukyo was already in front of him, Akane arriving behind her.
"Ran, what's the matter with you ?!"
"I… I'm… not feeling well, lately…"
"I can see that. You seemed not to know where to go, as if you had lost your sense of direction… just like yesterd-"
The young chef put a hand over her mouth, realizing that she had just given herself away… but had stopped too late !
"Just like yesterday ? What do you mean, Ucchan ?"
Part of her was pleased that he remembered his sweet nickname for her, but another part of her felt extremely uneasy, knowing what was about to happen.
"Nothing." she muttered.
"No, what did you mean with that ? You were saying that I had… uh… "
He looked over at Akane, visually asking for her help.
"You were saying that he had lost his sense of direction, just like yesterday." she completed. "It's true that you did, Ranma, and twice : before and after the hospital appointment." Then something triggered her internal alarm. "But how did you know about that, Ukyo ? How did you find out about Ranma's itinerary issues yesterday ?"
As the blue-clad girl remained silent, her "love rival" pondered on the whole thing… and could come with only one conclusion.
"You followed us ?!"
"I was worried for Ran, and when you said you two were going to the doctor… I couldn't help myself : I wanted to find out what your problem was, Ran !"
"You didn't have the right to spy on us like that !" screamed the official fiancée.
"I know, but I was worried for Ran, Akane !" pleaded the unofficial one.
But before the heated argument could worsen, the loved one placed himself between the loving ones, his hands up in the typical appeasing gesture.
"Please stop. Both of you. I care for you two, and don't want you to be mad at each other. And I think I'd better tell you what's wrong, Uki : you'll discover it soon, I'm sure, so I'd rather share the truth. You care for me, so you have the right to know…"
Ukyo noticed that unusual 'Uki', which she had never heard from him, but she didn't say a word.
"But Ranma…" started Akane "…are you sure –"
"I'm sure, yes !" he quickly said, cutting her off. "Why always hide it ? It will come out sooner or later… and probably rather sooner."
He turned around and weakly smiled at Hiroshi and Daisuke, who had witnessed the whole scene, since Ukyo's arrival.
"And as my friends, you guys also have the right to know what's wrong with me."
Akane didn't like it, him exposing his weakness to several people... but then again, they were his close friends and cared for him… so yes, after all, like Ranma had just said, they had the right to know.
And anyway, it would have to come out one day, so…
Ranma took a deep breath and started his explanation.
-/-
Getting back home after seeing Ukyo, his childhood friend and one of his fiancées, so distraught from the confession of his growing disorder… it was extremely painful.
She had wept, and it was the first time they had seen her cry. A trying moment, both feeling bad for her (Akane had forgotten about her following them; focused that she was on the girl's sadness).
Hiroshi and Daisuke had appeared shocked, then sorry, of course, but compared to Ukyo's heartbreaking reaction, it was obviously less striking. Still, he appreciated their support.
The young cook had asked him what she could do, if there was anything she could do, just anything, and had felt disappointed and even sadder to hear that, for the time being, nothing had been efficient in terms of treatment, of help.
"I hope she'll be okay…" Akane whispered, looking at him.
"So do I… but she's a resilient girl, so I'm sure she'll get over it and deal with it the best she can." he replied, gazing back at her.
He winced and put a hand to his head.
"You've got headache again ? Like you did during the game, right ?" she asked him.
He nodded.
"I'll get you painkillers."
But before she could leave, he seized her hand and gently squeezed it.
"Thanks. And not just for the painkillers : for everything."
She softly smiled.
"You deserve all the care and support one can get. You're a good person, Ranma."
It was his turn to gently smile.
-/-
Dinner time.
The family members were almost forcing themselves to talk, in order to avoid the atmosphere getting uncomfortable, and people uneasy. They knew silence would bring them back to their worrying about Ranma, and they would spend most of the dinner checking on him, to know if he was alright, if he wasn't getting sidetracked again. He didn't need that : he needed to feel as normal as possible, with people discussing around a table, as if nothing.
Of course, once he had got home, all had asked him how he was, how he felt, if everything was okay, if his day had been good… They would comfort him too, naturally.
But now, during dinner, they would act as normal as they could, to avoid the boy feeling their worry for him. So they chatted on their usual tone, trying not to look at him too often… but deep inside, they were very concerned for him.
Yet once dinner was over, a moment of silence couldn't be avoided, as if all sensed that something important was about to take place…
…and that's indeed the moment Ranma chose to speak.
"Look, guys, I'd like to thank you warmly for your help and support, for caring for me so much. And also, I'd like to apologize for making you so worried. I hate thinking I'm cause of your trouble, but that's what it is… and I'm sorry about that, sorry to make you feel bad because of me. I wish I would get better, so that you'd stop worrying."
"Ranma, you don't have to apologize : we worry for you because you're a good boy." stated Ryoga. *We used to be enemies, then rivals… but deep inside, I've come to realize that you're not a bad guy. Maybe tough and sometimes rough around the edges, back then, but no longer now. I feel more comfortable around you, and now I think we can become good friends. And good friends care for each other, worry for each other, suffer if the other does. You mustn't apologize, and as for our support, you're more than welcome : you deserve it."
"I couldn't put it better than Ryoga just did. No excuses needed. And we'll always be here for you." Soun declared.
"Thank you, really. But… I feel like I owe you the truth. There's no point hiding stuff that will come out soon anyway. So here it is : I've got bad news to share, unfortunately…
He explained them the recent complication of his condition : that he was losing his sense of direction and got that feeling of "being lost, disoriented".
"My poor Ranma ! I'm terribly sorry for you ! Truly !" exclaimed a shocked Kasumi.
"If you start losing your way, we can't let you go alone !" observed Nabiki, and turning to Akane : "Sis, you must remain with your fiancé. At all time. We can't leave him on his own, or else he might no find his way back home. And if you're absent, Akane, I can still go with Ranma-kun, or maybe Ryoga, if he's around."
"No problem, I'll be here for you, Pal !" confirmed Ryoga.
"You see what wonderful friends you have, Son ?" remarked Genma, his often serious face briefly "allowing" a smile in.
"I know… and I have no words to express you my gratitude. Not that I've forgotten them – although that might come someday – but simply because I'm too moved to properly put it in words. Thank you, with all my heart !"
Then he stood up and left the living room… but all could then see clearly the new problem, as Ranma stopped, looked to the right, then to the left… and headed in that direction.
"Ranma !" exclaimed Akane as she was hurrying to get up and go after him… and then take him back to the right, where the stairs leading to the bedrooms were.
"Oh my… he doesn't even remember the way inside the house itself… we really must help him to find back his bearings !" said Nabiki.
"Someone must always be here when he's home, and keep an eye on him. We can't leave him alone, even in this house !" concluded Kasumi.
Her eye met her father's, and the Tendo patriarch nodded.
As for Akane, she led Ranma to his room and sat down on the bed, by his side.
"How's your head ? Less painful ?"
"So so. Maybe I should take another painkiller before going to bed…"
"Ranma… I feel so bad for you… but I'll do all I can to help you… and offer you all of my time. I won't leave you, ever ! I'll stay by your side and be there for you, for anything. And I hope you'll get better… oh God I hope ! I suffer from seeing you like this, I feel incredibly sad for you… you have… you have no idea… I… I wish it was me and… and not you… Ranma… I… I…"
"Shhhh, don't cry, Akane, don't cry…" he gently whispered to her as he took her in his arms, trying his best to calm her down, yet unable to avoid her sobbing on his chest. "I know these are difficult times, but we'll make it through… I'm strong, you know, and so are you… we won't lose hope, and I'm sure it will improve again, at some point…"
He spoke that way to soothe her and dry her tears…
…but in reality, he wasn't sure of anything : not that it would improve, not that he was strong enough, or her for that matter.
There hadn't been so much doubt, so much uncertainty in his whole life…
-/-
Still not looking up, eh ? As I said, this is a dark fic'… take it or leave it.
The chappy's title, SPACING OUT, relates of course to Ranma's absent-mindedness / distraction, but also, for this particular part here, to his losing his spatial bearings and becoming unsure of a usually well-known itinerary. He can therefore easily get lost now, hence the need to always be by his side.
As for the new treatment decided by the hospital specialist, will it work ? Will it lead to any improvement ? There's a possibility… but in the end, time always tells.
As I said, I'm getting busier as winter arrives, so updates will certainly take time, but I'll do my best to hold on and "craft" whenever possible. Thanks for your patience… and naturally for your support, interest, time !
Here's wishing you a Merry Christmas… and in case there's no further update in 2023, a Happy New Year beforehand ! Take care and get ready to make the most of 2024, guys !
Oh, and Big Up to all Peter Gabriel fans outta here : listened to I/O on YT, but will definitely purchase it, as it's a new wonder from a wonderful artist !
Be happy, as happy as you can possibly be !
Léo