Chapter 5 - Breath In Ashes Every Night

Author's Note: Bonding with Vader and Leia and Vader and Ventress and the climax is upon us. :D

~ Amina Gila

Leia can't shake her worry – hasn't been able to since she first felt the disturbance in the Force. Her father is... hurting, even if he's not injured. It's something more, something worse. She can't help wondering if his fears about Ahsoka became real – if they met, and fought, and her aunt refused to listen.

And Leia is, admittedly, afraid of what else that might cause. Ahsoka is part of her family, and she doesn't want to think about what losing her would do to Vader. She's important to him, and she can't just... be gone.

When the ship he left on returns, he's alone, and the hurt he feels of is still burning brightly into the Force.

"Father," Leia breathes, running to him instantly.

He catches her, pulling her tightly into a hug and resting his chin on her head. She snuggles against his chest, clinging. It isn't much, but it's really all she can offer him – a steady, supportive presence at his side when he has nothing else.

Leia, at least, will always do whatever she can to be there, even if no one else does. And Cody will, because he's part of their family too, but it's still a little different. It's not in name, not where they can actively put the claim to it, because Cody is the head of Vader's fleet. They're... they're ranks are too different to allow it, and she remembers being so, so disappointed when her father first explained that.

He doesn't say a word about her not wearing her helmet again, either.

"Are you okay?" she asks, voice muffled.

"I'll be fine," he assures automatically.

"What happened?"

"I... fought Ahsoka," Vader explains quietly. "I tried talking to her, but it... didn't go well. She was angry. She ran, and no one was hurt, but it still – it happened."

"I'm sorry," she whispers, squeezing him tighter. Leia can't help him, really, but she still wants to try, and she knows Vader appreciates that enough for it to feel like she is.

"I know."

She's angry, but in truth, Leia doesn't fully understand Ahsoka's situation. It's probably unfair to blame her for this, for the hurt she feels from Vader, but there's a small part of her that wants to do it anyway. Leia has only known the Empire, was born the same time as it, and she can't understand why anyone would choose to fight it.

Vader had explained to her that if the Empire is corrupted, they have to change it from the inside out – the same as what her mother had once been trying for the Republic. With the Empire, there's hope of change, because the system is different, and there's someone who can do something about it.

And yeah, she knows it has shortcomings, but that's not a reason to go on random massacres or any of the things the Rebellion is doing. How can Ahsoka be blind to it?!

"What... are we gonna do?" she queries, and it might be a little too soon to talk about it, but she's wondering. She was afraid of this from the start and can't help thinking it'd be easier if Leia was able to talk to her herself.

"I don't know," he replies, and a flicker of darkness and hurt curls into the Force. She hates seeing him like this.

She senses someone approaching, and reluctantly pulls back. They can save the snuggling for later, probably. Even if she doesn't want to.

**w**

Ventress comes to talk to him again. Vader could live without seeing her again, but she's – she wasn't that bad. At least not the last time Vader talked to her. She's right that she's changed, though there's a lot to it he doesn't want to think about.

"Brooding?" she queries lightly.

It's annoying, but if he's being honest, he could use the company right now. There's a tiny, traitorous part of him that likes her snippy comments just a little bit, and he doesn't know what to think about that. Vader hasn't... bonded with someone new in years, not on a personal level.

"There is a significant amount in the galaxy to brood over," Vader snarks back at her.

Ventress hums carelessly. "That is fair. What's the occasion?"

"I encountered Ahsoka."

"You fought her?" They're in the command center, and Ventress's hand drops onto the holotable beside him. She's leaning on it carelessly, though Vader can hear the undernote of uncertainty. She does care, even if she's doing good at hiding it.

Vader hates himself a little for how desperately he wishes he had someone to comfort him, someone to support him.

He wishes he didn't feel so alone, but it's something he's dealt with ever since the Jedi fell, since Obi-Wan... It's stupid, because he's not that young anymore, and he has a child of his own. Leia is more important than anything, and he needs to stay strong for her, to look out for her, but it often feels like there's nothing he can do. "She's fine," Vader replies, just in case the unspoken question is whether he hurt her, which he didn't.

"She declined your considerate request to join you?"

Considerate? He's fairly certain she's just trying to make him react now. "Yeah."

"Did she give you the same?"

Vader twitches, looking at her oddly. "How is it your concern?" He doesn't know why Ahsoka would've, either. It was already clear what choice Vader made. Why would she have asked him that?

She shrugs, turning and sitting on the edge of the table, ignoring his disapproving look. It's like babysitting younger Ahsoka – Vader distinctly remembers pulling her off rails she tried climbing on sometimes when she was little, before she knew how to balance right with a "you'll fall and break your skull open, Snips," and a "I'm not that clumsy, Skyguy," being thrown back at him.

"When my master died," Ventress answers slowly, "I was lost. I was angry. Dooku found me, and he taught me the Dark Side. He gave me a choice. I knew nothing I did helped anyone, but it gave me purpose. It gave me something, and after Dooku betrayed me, I wished someone asked me to be something more. Probably, I'd have turned it down. I don't know, but I know what it's like. I wanted someone to tell me I could be more than everything the Jedi did to me, and everything I did to them."

Vader looks at her, and she holds his eyes for probably the first real time. There's no playfulness there – it's a deep, aching emptiness, the look of someone who's lost everything. Which she has.

So has he.

"The Dark Side gives me strength," he answers, which... he knows it's true. It gives him what he needs to protect Leia, to help people, and that's all he has ever wanted.

"It gives an illusion of strength, until it eats you to a shell," she replies. "I would know."

Not really. "You were never a true Sith, Ventress."

"Asajj is fine," she replies, shrugging and shifting a little.

"And if you were, it wouldn't matter."

"You have more than the Dark Side offers you, Vader. You have that kid – Leia. You care about her like your own."

She is my own. He couldn't even deny it after she's seen so much of them. It's not something he wants to admit to, but it's the truth. "How is this relevant?" he asks instead, because he can't admit that, no matter how clear it is.

"You have something I never did, Anakin." He twitches at the use of a name long gone. "You were something I never was. I saw how you fought in the war. Your protectiveness of your men. These clones." She flicks a hand towards the walls. "They were born to die, and they knew it. They wouldn't have thought less of you if you let them, but you never did."

He genuinely has no idea what to say to that. He doesn't break her gaze, and neither does she. It's stubborn, present and steadfast, everything he never knew he wanted, much less needed. But it's there – something Vader never thought anyone would want to offer. Not after Obi-Wan just walked out – he survived Order 66, but he never came back. He never tried to talk to him, which is probably best, because if he did, they'd have fought.

"What are you asking me to do, exactly?" he asks, sighing quietly.

She shrugs, turning away. "Let go."

What in the galaxy is he supposed to say to that? "The Dark is a part of who I am, Asajj. Things have changed. I've changed. I'm not who I used to be, either."

"Everyone changes with time, Anakin. But you deserve this chance as much as I did. It's... something the Jedi are trained against, but I'm not a Jedi."

He thinks of Operation Knightfall, and wonders with a sudden level of crushing desperation if it's true, if he really does deserve out. It's just – he hurt people, even if he didn't want to. He didn't intend to hurt anyone, but the Jedi never gave him a choice. That doesn't and will never make the guilt go away, though. He will never stop remembering what he did there.

And right then is when Vader realizes jarringly, he knows how the Jedi were warned, if indeed that... Jedi that Maul discovered was Master Windu as he appeared to be. If he survived, he would've warned the Jedi.

Thinking about it won't answer or change anything, though.

"I'm not a Jedi anymore, either," Vader replies offhandedly.

"I know," Asajj responds, "But I'm still giving you the choice I was never given."

It's her way of dealing and letting go, Vadre realizes, which is fair. He... does the same things sometimes. He's obsessed with ending slavery, with restoring peace and order to the galaxy, because those are things which no one ever gave him when he was young and needed them.

It also makes a teeny, tiny part of him feel bad for not knowing or understanding enough to give it to her way back in the war when they fought, but it wasn't like he understood it, either. She's right that Jedi were always taught not to think Sith could be more. They were trained to fear the Dark Side, and Anakin had never understood it any more than he understood many of the things the Jedi taught.

Being a Sith never felt wrong to him the same way. That's – he's content where he is, but there's still a part of him that isn't.

"Thank you," Vader offers finally, because considering what she's doing, that seems like the most reasonable response.

Asajj huffs. "Don't think too deeply into it," she grumbles.

He will – already is – anyway, and he finds himself smiling for what feels like the first time in a while. He's admittedly mildly freaked out when he sees the ghost of a smile on her face, too.

**w**

Vader doesn't have long to reflect on it or think about how he's going to find Ahsoka – or what will happen when he does – before Maul calls him with another urgent message.

"We intercepted a transmission," the Zabrak explains, "Lord Sidious may be right the Jedi are planning something."

That... does not sound good. It was definitely worth momentarily stepping off the battlefield to take this call. "What does it say?" Vader inquires.

Maul flips the hologram on, so he can see it over the line. The image is... fuzzy, and the sound is staticky, so it's hard to make out many words, but he can still decipher enough.

"...call the others to come... going to Malachor... two standard rotations..."

It's the most Vader can make of it, but it's still enough. The voice is too distorted to tell who it is, not that that's necessarily crucial information. The figure feels vaguely familiar, but he can't place when he last sensed the Force presence. Must not be Windu, then.

Malachor is a Sith world. What are the Jedi doing there? It's been off-limits for them, simply because of... whatever happened there before. There was a battle from the end of the Jedi and Sith fight over a thousand years ago. He can only guess what happened there.

If the Jedi are willingly gathering for some reason in such a place, they must be planning something. Perhaps, looking for some way to destroy the Sith once and for all.

Unless this is intended as a trap, which he can't help but wonder, since picking up the exact time the meeting on Malachor is supposed to be is almost too convenient, but it's hard to say. Either way, there's no question about what they're going to do now.

"We must follow them there," Vader tells him firmly. Probably, they need to tell Sidious immediately so he can arrange support, but they need to do this. "This is our chance to crush this rebellion." It's what they've been waiting for, but they need to be careful. The Jedi likely know more about them than the Empire knows of the Jedi, so they would be far more capable of assessing threat level.

The Jedi have nothing to combat Vader, which is his only benefit. That's not arrogance speaking, either. Not even he understands how much he's capable of. He's the most powerful Force-sensitive the galaxy has ever known, and more often than not, it scares him. That was part of what made him turn to the holocrons he studies – that desire to learn more to control his power, to learn to use what was inborn into him instead of trying to suppress it like the Jedi taught him to. They fear it, and him, and after the fact, Vader can understand why.

(They taught him he was a thing to be feared, and that's why he became it.)

"We will destroy them," Maul agrees, already itching for the fight.

Vader has been waiting for this moment too, but he can't say he's eager for it the way Maul is. Many people are going to die. They could be... hurt, too. And he has the feeling that something is going to go wrong, even if it works out in the end.

They have no real way to know what they're walking into, but they have to be ready.

And if it's a trap, which Vader very much suspects it is... well, they'll spring it, the way he and Obi-Wan always used to do a lifetime ago.

Often, the best way to make adversaries think they've won is to go to the center of whatever it is they have in mind, and play along, until there's an opening. That's what Obi-Wan taught him, and he has to admit that makes the thrill far more real. Which isn't really what they need right now, but admittedly? If this will really be the end, Vader will be satisfied to watch the Rebellion fall.

**w**

"The disturbance in the Force is growing," Sidious' hologram rasps, from the other side of the galaxy. Vader and Maul called in from where they were to give him the update.

"I have sensed it, Master," Vader confirms. Because now, he has. Something's wrong, and he doesn't know what it is. (Maybe it really is the end. Of... something. It feels like it, and he doesn't know what that'll mean. Maybe it's a good thing Ventress is here, to keep an eye on Leia.)

"Have all Inquisitors available called back for this attack," Sidious orders.

"Yes, Master," Maul replies, nodding stiffly. They don't, technically, have to call him Master anymore, but Maul's used to it, and the title stuck.

"What if some of them choose to betray us?" Vader asks, bluntly.

"Then they will be dealt with at the same time," Sidious replies, "Go to Malachor now, and I will arrive with other reinforcements soon."

Vader blinks. "You're coming?" That's... very rarely happened. Sidious never puts himself in danger, unless absolutely necessary. But he must see it as necessary this time.

"It will be the end of this rebellion," Sidious replies. He's always had a thing with foresight, and Vader can't help wondering if he senses that as much as Vader does. He just can't figure out what it means because it seems almost too... simple.

Unless the rebellion is over because the Sith are gone. But either way, it's time for them to go.

**w**

Malachor looks entirely lifeless as they fly over the gray, rocky surface. It feels Dark in the Force, just as Vader expected. He hasn't been on a Dark Side planet in a while, either, and the sensation is admittedly a bit overwhelming.

The clouds hang low and dark, making the place look all the more sinister. But when Vader reaches out with the Force, he can tell they're not alone. He can feel life, somewhere below the surface. "We need to go down."

"I know of an opening," Maul tells him. Unsurprisingly, because apparently, Sidious took him here once for training. He didn't know Sith did that, but then, he doesn't know a whole lot about normal Sith training, period. None of Vader's training was normal.

Vader flies their ship down through the opening as soon as they locate it, into the dark interior below. From here, they and the four Inquisitors they brought with them will have to continue on foot.

The Sith Temple looms in front of them, the dark pyramid structure rising almost to the top of the space below the frozen carbonite layer that envelops the entire planet. A dim, eerie red glow floods the area around them, from a red light near the top of the Temple.

The Dark Side feels even more strongly here, as they start forwards. "They are inside the Temple," Vader realizes. There's no one out here. But if they're in the Temple, that must mean they used the Dark Side to get inside.

Somehow, he's not even surprised. Because they can violate their own beliefs if it means achieving their ultimate goals, no matter how far they've fallen from what they used to be.

Across the walkway that leads to the Temple entrance, there's... statues, everywhere. Except, looking closer, Vader can tell they're more than just statues.

They're... people.

The lightsabers strewn across the ground, looking undisturbed for all the centuries they've been here more than answer it.

The Jedi were attacking the Temple, when someone harnessed its ultimate power, and somehow froze over the entire planet in carbonite, along with the people. It explains why they don't feel dead. It's as though every single one of them still has an unconscious, lingering spirit, even if the planet itself feels dead and empty.

That presumably means that every single one of these people is probably still alive, and it's sickening to see. The Jedi's former drive for power a millennia ago is what led to this, even if it was the Sith's corruption that ultimately caused it.

"They are inside," Vader notes, as they approach the entrance. He and Maul reach into the Force together, holding the rocky barrier open to allow them and the Inquisitors inside. One of the Inquisitors ignites their lightsaber to give them light, as they drop the rocky barrier, plunging the room into darkness, except for the faint red glow. Not that there's anything to see in the narrow hallway, except another barrier right in front of them.

Lifting the next barrier, Vader draws his own blade. The Jedi are on the other side. He can feel their life, even if they're shielding their presences, and more than that he can sense...

Force.

Is that Ahsoka?!

She's here?!

He shouldn't be surprised, knowing that all the Jedi are probably working together on this plan, but somehow it still hurts, that she's... here. But maybe he can finally show her just how lost the Jedi are. (If she joined him, that would mean Falling. He can't imagine Ahsoka ever being Dark like him.)

They let the last barrier drop closed behind them, sealing them in the room – is that why the Jedi picked this spot? Because they can't retreat quickly out of it? – before Vader looks around. The room is enormous, and it's hard to see much when it's so dark, but towering columns are placed short distances apart from each other along the walls, intricate carvings on them that he can't see well.

And there's frozen people in here too, dozens of them, forever trapped in time, in that moment their senseless fight destroyed all of them.

He wishes for a sudden, aching moment that he didn't have to be involved in either side of this conflict. It's destroying everything, and it's about to happen again, because they're right back where one of the last battles of the Jedi and Sith Orders started. They're standing in its ashes, and about to repeat the same mistake all over again.

And – and for the time, Vader truly realizes how much he wants out of it, all of it on both sides, even if he can't abandon the Empire.

He doesn't see anyone alive in here, but they're definitely there, waiting for the right moment to make their move. There are countless hiding spots, after all.

"I know you are here," Vader says, hands tightening around the hilt of his blade as he takes a step forwards, but staying close enough to the exit that someone can't jump them from behind.

The sound of a lightsaber activating floods the otherwise far too tense silence of the room, a purple blade springing to life in the center.

And it's definitely Windu. He looks every bit the way Vader remembered, though he somehow feels far darker now. He's Fallen, become the very thing he claims he's trying to destroy, and he doesn't even care anymore.

For a fleeting moment, it makes him wish that he'd gone for the kill instead of just disarming him way back, because that would have saved so many lives.

"You have come here to be destroyed, Sith," Windu warns.

"So have you, Jedi," Maul spits back, already lunging forwards, the same moment the light of countless lightsabers floods the room.

There's probably close to two dozen here, not that Vader has a chance to count specifically. They definitely set the trap well, just as he suspected. It's still slightly more than he anticipated, though. He's encountered groups of Jedi in the past, though this is the first time it's been... this many in one place, and he doesn't like it.

Amidst the flood of green and blue blades, though, he can easily spot the only one with two white ones.

Ahsoka.

The other two Jedi she's been fighting with are next to her.

He has to talk to her, but he doesn't know if he'll get that chance, when there's so many here.

Windu goes at him before Vader has a moment longer to consider who to go after first. The purple blade clashes against his red one, and he already knows this won't be an easy fight. Windu's by far the most experienced at fighting Dark Siders. He was able to defeat Sidious that day, and even if Vader's surpassed him in strength, that doesn't mean it will be simple.

Especially when it's not only Windu he needs to fight, because there are so many Jedi here, and the Empire's forces are quickly being overrun.

Forget the Inquisitors turning against them. They aren't going to survive long – they were never trained for that, though maybe they'll be able to take out a few Jedi before they're taken down themselves.

Maul will fare better, but Vader doesn't know for how long. They are hopelessly outnumbered, and he can only hope Sidious will actually get here in time.

He delves deeply into the Force, letting it flood him, letting himself become one with it as he attacks Windu.

Their blades clash on repeat, and he can feel how Windu is drawing on the Force, using Vader's darkness to fight back against him. But he isn't only using the Dark Side to fight the now Fallen Jedi Master. Not really.

It's every bit of the passion he's ever felt, whether light or dark, because this destruction has to end, even if it always feels like what he does only causes more destruction. He has to go back to Leia. He won't let them get to Leia, and that's all he needs to let himself remember as he throws himself into the fight.

Final Notes: Reviews are always appreciated! ^-^

Come hang out on Discord (delete spaces), discord . gg / nqSxuz2 or find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes)

We've got a YT channel for tributes! (delete the spaces) youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA

ALSO: We have SW gift request forms for General, Anakin-Clones-centric, and Bad Batch fics. :D (delete spaces) bit . ly / CourtesyTrefflinFicRequests