Ω

Kyle sighed and shut the front door of his house, leaning heavily against it, his forehead meeting the painted wood. He had finally convinced Stan to leave the house. Dinner had been awkward as all get out. Kyle had to beg his best friend not to say anything about his outburst at lunch to his mother. It had never even crossed the redhead's mind that friends might be so concerned about his mental health they would inform his parents about his little show at lunch. He desperately wished he would have thought things through but he had just been overcome with emotion; it wasn't as if he had planned to totally lose it at lunch. He just couldn't go through any more of Kenny's deaths. Stan was always a mess, it was horrifying. To say he was emotionally drained would be the understatement of the century. Kenny just kept killing himself by refusing food over and over. He had exaggerated at lunch that it was every other day. It was more like every couple days but it might as well have been every other day to Kyle, he couldn't get relief from everything that was happening; it was like he was drowning and he could see hands above the surface but none reached out to him and his own reach wasn't long enough to grasp any even if they did offer help. He just continued to sink. He heard his mom calling for him and he went to her, almost feeling weak with relief that Stan had left without spilling the beans. He helped his mom with the dishes, finding peace in the routine and it's normalcy. Afterwards, he went up to his room and sat at his computer desk, already opening up the various documents he knew he needed to start scanning to accomplish his assigned work, which he had no shortage of.

It wasn't too long after that the doorbell resounded throughout the house. Kyle ignored it, figuring it was for someone else. He was hunched over his computer, quickly typing up one of the three research papers he had a deadline on from his AP classes. After all, surely Stan wouldn't have come back. At least he hoped not.

"Kyle!" Ike hollered up the stairs. "It's for you!" Kyle slumped in his chair. Had Stan really returned so soon after all? He had still been on edge even when he left, fretting over Kyle's state of mind. Kyle heard voices interacting with his brother's and the blood drained from his face. They were definitely Cartman and Kenny's voices and not Stan's. Dazedly, he shuffled out of his room and slowly started to descend the stairs, trying not to appear too terrified. In truth, Kyle was terrified. He had never been outright scared of anyone much less someone he thought of as a friend, but he was definitely scared of Kenny. There was definitely something unnatural going on with him. Finally, he came into view of his two friends.

Cartman's grin would put the Cheshire Cat to shame. "Hi, Kahl, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost!" he got out before doubling over in laughter. Even Kenny cracked a rare wry smile. He looked up at Kyle who had stopped halfway down the staircase, not at all thrilled.

"Come with us," Kenny said. It was less a question and more a directive.

Kyle regarded him warily. "Where?"

"Stark's Pond."

Kyle didn't budge.

"It's okay, Kyle, really."

Ike was regarding all of them with a critical eye. "Kyle, is everything…okay?" he asked sensing that something was disturbing his older brother regarding the two friends but couldn't put a finger on it. Kyle was sure Ike would hear about his outburst before the week ended, he was just glad he'd gotten to enjoy one last evening of relative normalcy with his family before the fallout would undoubtedly begin.

"Please?" there was a desperate edge to Kenny's voice. Kyle finally nodded and finished descending the stairs. He made sure to stay on the side of Cartman that Kenny was not on. It was odd as usually Kyle would choose to have someone between him and Cartman. It was rare he would use Cartman as a buffer. Life was getting stranger by the moment.

"Are we really going to Stark's Pond?" Kyle asked.

"Yes," Cartman answered. "We won't be long," he said more to Ike than Kyle. Ike watched them leave still unsure why his brother was so visibly uncomfortable. It didn't need to be communicated to Ike that he cover for his brother. They always covered for each other. Still, this was one time Ike didn't quite feel comfortable doing so but still chose to in spite of his unease.

Ω

The walk started in silence until Kenny broke it once they left Kyle's street.

"How long?"

Kyle was caught off guard. "Huh?"

"How long have you known?"

Kyle halted. Kenny and Cartman walked a few more steps ahead before realizing Kyle had stopped. Both turned around, the unspoken question in their eyes. Kyle simply shook his head. He didn't know what he had expected, but he had most definitely not expected for Kenny to simply confirm that Kyle was indeed sane and grounded in reality. There had been a part of him that hoped, even wanted, Kenny to wildly deny all this and for Cartman to call him batshit crazy. Instead they were acting like he'd just figured out how to get into a secret club. "So it is all real."

Kenny nodded. "Yeah."

"How the hell did you do it, Jew? How'd you figure it out?"

Kyle gaped at Cartman astounded. "'Figure it out?' Figure out what? It just kept happening." A thought suddenly hit him. "Wait, how long have you known?"

"Pretty much since preschool. Now your turn. You never answered the question."

"About a month."

They reached Stark's Pond. Kenny sighed as they approached the familiar place, making a beeline for the bench that overlooked the pond. "I'm sorry, Kyle."

"For what?"

"This- I just- I'm sorry."

"How did this happen?" He stared at the blonde teenager ambling along, only their mutual friend between them, before another realization dawned on him,"Wait, you've been doing this since preschool?" he asked finally being able to process what Cartman had said.

Kenny shrugged. "Before then. My parents were in a Cthulhu cult when my mom was pregnant with me. So this is the result."

Kyle simply stared at him horrified before turning his attention to Cartman, his horror growing to new heights. "Wait." He steeled himself for the answer to the question he didn't want to ask. "Is he also?" The thought of an immortal Cartman made him want to puke, possibly forever.

The brunette was clearly enjoying this way too much and his grin sure didn't hide that fact. "Yup! I come back all the time, too."

Kyle's face had started to turn a ghastly green that did not suit his features. Kenny quickly shook his head, worried that Kyle might start spewing chunks into the pond. "He doesn't, don't worry," he assured his friend and then sadly finished, "Just me."

"My time will come, don't worry," Cartman reassured a now healthier looking Kyle.

"Let's hope not," Kyle muttered with a shake of his head. He paused and looked at Kenny again. "Kenny, so- did you- did you also die when your family did that night? You were murdered, too?" Kyle asked, the mystery of why Kenny was the sole survivor finally making sense to Kyle's mind.

"I was shot that night, too," Kenny cryptically replied. Cartman said nothing.

The trio arrived at the bench and Kyle fell into it. "Wow," he whispered watching his breath appear before him then fade into the cold night. He really had no words right now, it was all his brain could do to take in the information the other two were telling him.

"It's a lot to take in," Kenny said softly, sitting next to Kyle and staring out at the pond before them. Cartman chose to remain standing as if on the look-out for any would be eavesdroppers. Kyle vaguely wondered if he and Kenny had planned this. He felt like he had been totally out of the loop for years. Cartman had known since preschool that Kenny was basically some bizarre version of a zombie. The literal walking dead. Kyle reached into the deepest recesses of his mind. He could have sworn Kenny had tried to tell him this before but it was just too unbelievable.

"It hurts?" Kyle asked.

Kenny simply nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry," Kyle offered unsure what else to say. Really, what else could he possibly say to him? All of a sudden his problems seemed so small in comparison. Kenny's family had been murdered, he would die and come back from the dead and it hurt. Of course it hurt. Kyle didn't even want to imagine. As if it wouldn't hurt enough to lose your family you couldn't even escape emotional torment through death because you would just keep coming back to the living in some warped cycle.

"It's not your fault." Kenny's attempt at comfort wasn't strong and Kyle just shook his head, still having trouble processing all the information he was being fed. His systems were on overload and he feared they might fry soon. Still there was another question he wanted to ask.

"Do you see them? Your family? In the afterlife?" He was assuming there was an afterlife but he would wait and ask for a more detailed description of that another day. Right now, he wasn't sure he wanted to know much more.

Kenny looked away from him and shook his head. "No." He sighed before turning back to Kyle. "I haven't. Sometimes I see people I know, sometimes I don't. No one really tells me much about it because I'm such an anomaly." He shrugged and offered a somber smile. "I also think the powers that be like to see me squirm."

Kyle's eyes couldn't get wider if he wanted them to. This was insane.

Cartman cleared his throat. "If someone can't find his family in the afterlife maybe he should stop starving himself to death all the time. You know insanity is repeating the same thing expecting a different outcome."

"He's not insane," Kyle snapped at Cartman. After he said it he wondered if he was just programmed to counter everything the other said. It was crazy that Kenny would keep starving himself to death hoping to see his family if he never did. He studied the teenager in question next to him for a minute before asking, "Are you?" Kenny's response was a shrug. Green eyes widened at this, full of dread, desperation, and a tiredness that dulled the once vibrant green oculi. "Kenny, really, I can't take you dying like this much more. Stan's always a mess, Butters is crying, it's awful," Kyle lamented. He glared in Cartman's direction. "And Cartman never shows up to the funeral or has any reaction." Really the brunette just wasn't around after Kenny died. Maybe it was on purpose. Cartman shrugged.

"Whatever, Jew, I always know he's not staying dead, not my fault it took you this long to catch up."

Kyle frowned and was about to return the insult with one of his own but Kenny stopped him. "It's fine, really, Kyle. If it's too draining, just ignore it. The others will forget it soon, it doesn't stay in their memory. It'll stay with you, though. Don't let it drive you crazy." There was sympathy in his eyes and voice and Kyle knew that the other was truly sorry for the situation they were in.

"Is that why you don't eat? To find your family?" Kyle asked in earnest. Kenny was spilling all his secrets tonight so he might as well try this one. He really doubted it was an eating disorder. He supposed it was possible but unlikely someone with an eating disorder would go for days without washing their hair. They were usually a little more concerned about their looks. Maybe Cartman was right. Again. It irritated the living hell out of him, but Kyle couldn't deny that his old archrival had been right more than once regarding matters relating to Kenny. Maybe the guy really was starving himself to death so he could seek out his family in the afterlife. Still, Kyle had to believe there were easier ways to kill yourself if you had unlimited lives at your disposal.

Kenny shook his head. "We'll save that one for another day."

"But," Kyle tried to protest, but Kenny's eyes warned he wouldn't answer the question truthfully no matter how many times it was asked, at least that would be the case tonight.

"We just wanted to make sure you were okay," Kenny said breezily, standing back up, unable to disguise how tired and drained he was.

Kyle followed suit and stood up, too. "That's great except I'm pretty sure everyone will still think I'm certifiably loony tomorrow."

"You are," Cartman's face split wide with the grin he cracked, and Kyle wished he could slap it off his face. He went to do just that but Kenny caught him by the wrist before his hand could connect with Cartman's face.

"Let's not fight. Not tonight." Kenny said quietly, his gaze holding Kyle's. "I'm tired of fights."

Kyle nodded quickly understanding. Kenny smiled gratefully at him, dropping his wrist, and starting the walk away from the bench to Kyle's house, completely missing Cartman sticking his tongue out at the redhead.

"Goddammit," Kyle seethed at him through clenched teeth. He flipped the other off before both caught up with Kenny, matching his pace.

"So what now?" Kyle asked.

"What do you mean?" his blonde friend responded, having no clue what the other meant.

"I mean, have you two, like, been trying to figure out why this happens? Do you want to stop it? Is there a way to get it to stop? Are there others?" Kyle was rattling off all the stuff he could think of if he were in Kenny's shoes.

Kenny laughed humorlessly. "Oh, Kyle. I have more questions than you could ever know. And not one of them has ever been answered."

"I still don't get why the Jew knows of all people to know," Cartman grumbled.

"Should we try telling Stan?" Kyle wondered aloud. "He might believe us if all three of us are telling him the same story. He won't think I'm totally off my rocker." Again Cartman was uncharacteristically quiet, something Kyle would wish he would have noticed when reflecting back on this evening years later.

"No," Kenny was quick to shoot the idea down. "No, we're not telling Stan anything about it."

"Why not? And I kind of already did, remember?"

Kenny frowned and stopped walking waiting for Kyle to do the same. Cartman had stopped with Kenny seeming to already know what his friend was planning. Kyle was stunned, he had never realized how in sync the other two were. Kyle waited for Kenny to speak. When he did it was slow and deliberate. "Kyle, I don't want you saying anything else to Stan. I don't want him to know or even wonder if I really die as often as I do. I just- I don't want him to go through this. At least now he has no memory of the deaths. He-he's normal, I want him to stay that way," he finished in a whisper like he was talking to himself more than Kyle. Cartman and Kyle exchanged glances, both noticing how his eyes softened and lit up when he spoke of their other friend. Kyle sighed and shook his head.

"Okay, if that's what you want."

"It is."

"But we are revisiting this not eating thing another day." Kyle was nothing if not persistent. If he could get Kenny to eat maybe he could stop all these repeated deaths. It was as if he was in some insane Shakespearean tragedy that someone had put on replay and now it was just endlessly looping. Kenny pursed his lips but eventually nodded as they turned down the redhead's street. He knew Kyle wouldn't let up on the subject until he got the answer he wanted. They stopped short of Kyle's door. Kenny and Cartman remained on the walkway while Kyle stepped up on the stoop in front of the door. He turned, realizing the other two weren't planning to go inside. Cartman eyed him critically for a moment.

"You coming to school tomorrow?" he asked.

A sigh left Kyle's lips. "I don't know. I guess so, Stan will probably be freaking out all day if I don't." He shook his head like he still wasn't entirely sure what he planned to do. After a moment, he shrugged and grabbed the knob on the front door. "See you guys tomorrow, I guess," he said over his shoulder as he opened the door. The other two said their goodbyes and started on their way home. Kyle paused as he could hear them both talking but couldn't make anything out. Kenny was speaking to Cartman more than he had to Kyle just now; he couldn't help but be a little jealous. Of course Kenny would likely feel more comfortable with Cartman. They had shared this incredible secret since preschool.

Ike was waiting for him. He grinned with relief when he saw his older brother. "Kyle! Was everything okay?! I was worried."

"What? Why? And yes, everything's fine."

"I just- you were acting so weird when Eric and Kenny came over, I thought they were maybe blackmailing you or something. I've never seen you so full of dread!" He glanced at his watch. "I was giving them two hours then I was going to go tell mom and dad. I was so freaked out!"

"How long was I gone?"

"Almost an hour."

Kyle's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Really?" It had felt much longer to Kyle. He still couldn't believe it. He didn't know what to do with all this information. It spun around and around in his head, not a lick of it making any sense but there it was- bright, stark, amazing, horrible reality.