Authors Note: Hey SmutMuffins If you want another chapter this weekend you need to review. Happy SMUTTING xoxo.
Chapter 9: Monsters and Old Habits
"Wow"
The voice shocked fear through my system. I wasn't expecting him to come tonight. I thought I was safe.
I forced his name out of my mind. I would not give him the satisfaction of naming him. I will not give myself the pain of memories.
"Isabella, I thought you would stay as pure as you had been. At the very least do not whore yourself out to dogs."
Looking around the clearing, he stood between me and my clothing. I could not find anything around to cover myself. Knowing him, he would take hope in me putting my clothing on. Instead, I stood straight up. Letting my uncovered form stand across the small space from a monster. I felt the reminder of Quil slowly drip down my leg. I used the sensation to ground me.
"Isabella, do you not have any shame?"
He moved towards my clothing. As if he was going to offer them to me.
"Stop. I do not need to cover myself here. I do not owe you the respect of doing so. If you wanted me dressed you could have chosen another time to come. I recommend never again."
Pain flashed across his face. The girl that loved him raged in the back of my mind. 'You hurt him!' the girl screamed internally at me. 'He is right, you are whoring yourself to dogs.' 'Remember how Edward fought against the idea of killing us, that was real love.' I silenced her again. Chaining her up in the darkest parts of my mind, where she belonged.
"Isabella" The pain struck through his voice.
"No" I brushed my hand over the scar on my arm. The scar that healed except for the constant cold that settled on the wound.
"No?"
"I need you to stop. You already broke me once. I do not want to go through that again."
He took another step towards me.
"Please" I felt my vocal cords strain with the words.
The trees around us stood like a cage. I knew I could not run. I would not be able to make it outside of the clearing before he could reach me. My body settled into a calm fear. I had been around his kind longer than most humans. It was almost a calming scent, from memories of young love. Love I did not want back.
"I apologize for coming back. I see you did not miss me as much as I did you."
My mouth did not open. It was locked shut. My brain warred with what I wanted. For years I dreamed of this. Now, I did not. I yelled in my brain that this is not what I want. Sending memories of pain, hurt and fear through my body. The darkest part of my brain reminded me of love, belonging, and never sleeping alone. I almost broke.
Focusing on needing a plan. If I stay alive long enough another wolf should arrive here. If I didn't at least they would know what had become of me. Embry would kill me if I didn't try to let out a scream. Paul would be mad at me if I didn't fight. Sam would not forgive himself If I died this close to his house. I needed a plan that did not have any of the men upset with me.
My lungs refused to breathe in his scent. The air that was allowed in was just enough to keep my body from passing out. This was not ideal for screaming or fighting. I needed to either stay alive or get him to take me and kill me in a different location.
"Isabella. Why can you not see that giving over to your base urges is an evil thing?"
"My urges do not include killing people. I am allowed to get pleasure and enjoy the intimate company of whomever I want."
He did not like that. He started to pace fast back and forth. I stayed afraid to move or set off a reaction. I paused. This is what I did in high school. I played his girlfriend and let him make all the moves.
"Isabella, you know this is not right. A woman whoring herself out to the population. We talked about the local parties. We talked about how good girls don't go there. You agreed. Now you have dog secretions dripping down your leg."
I took pride in the knowledge that he did not approve of my current being. Maybe Quil would save my life. I hoped that the scent of his seed caused my blood to not sing to him.
"The good girl you knew died when you left. I am now simply a product of my upbringing"
"Renee. She shouldn't have" Howls sounded in the distance. "We will talk again my Bella"
He disappeared into the forest between one blink and the next. Air still refused to enter my lungs. I felt fabric cover my skin. My brain yelled at me to run, to fight. Finally my body reacted to what I wanted it to do. Twisting around I punched out and screamed.
My fist connected with the side of Seth's face. He was standing behind me shirtless. Seth's face was lit up with a sideways smile. All the fear within me temporarily melted away with that smile.
"The shirt works better if you put your arms through the sleeves," Seth teased.
I adjusted the shirt. Not taking my eyes off Seth's carefree face. He was probably the only member of the pack who could be calm with a vampire this close. I still had adrenaline rushing through my system. If Seth noticed my edginess, he did not break his confident eye contact with me. I made myself focus on his confidence. If Seth was not worried, I would also not be worried. At least not externally.
We stood in the silent clearing together. We waited, anticipating the return of the other wolves. My breath hitched with that thought. The return of the wolves. How many would come home? Will we be mourning any friends tonight?
"You should go" I whisper
"What?" Shock covered his face.
"Seth you should go"
"Bella. That was a lot. I am not going to leave. You need someone to be with you."
"Seth. If someone doesn't come home, I will blame myself for not letting you help."
Seth stood rigidly before me. I could tell he wasn't alpha ordered to be with me. It was his own decision to be with me. I needed to convince him to go away.
I reached up to his face. Seth let me cup my hands on either side of his face. Cradling his head, I pulled him towards me. He came willingly. Bending to accommodate for our height difference. I felt his breath on my face. The heat of his skin soaking into mine. I paused as the fear I had when I saw him tonight bubbled back to the surface. I swallowed down the fear.
Closing the distance between our lips. I kissed him once softly. He closed the gap between our lips again. Seth kissed me like I was the air he needed to breathe. My body reacted to him. I closed the distance for the next kiss.
I broke the kisses whispering in his ear "Please go help the pack. Then come back to me"
Seth kissed me again, tasting me. "Promise you will stay safe?"
"As safe as I can stay" I kissed him again.
Seth groaned. "I just need you to be safe"
"Then go check the area"
Seth placed a chaste kiss on my lips. A moment later he was swallowed by the woods.
The panic that Seth prevented set like a weight on my heart. I still want him to go, but now I'm scared. I shook my head. Trying to shake the fear out of my system. It did not work. Instead it was like fear seeped into my very bones. Just like the last time I was left in the woods.
I needed to move. Last time I did not move. Last time I ran into the woods and laid down to die. This time I would not. I quickly pulled my pants on. Ignoring the shirt or the thong. I needed to move.
Reaching my truck I started to drive. The road home seemed so familiar. I had done it many times before. It was almost like my truck was guiding me home. Parking it in the driveway, I reached the front door before I noticed Charlie wasn't home. I reached my room before I noticed I was crying.
The bed was often a safe space for others. However he watched me in my bed nightly for months. I opened my closet and hid amongst my belongings. Maybe this will make it harder for them to scent me. I closed only one of the two closet doors, staging it to look like I was never even there. Pulling down one of my jumbo knit sweaters, I made it into a pillow.
Turning off my phone, I allowed myself to close my eyes.
"Sky Daddy. If I survive tonight I will go to church on Sunday" I prayed silently to any god to answer.
When morning broke I was still hidden in my closet. From what I could see no one had entered my room. That was odd. I was half expecting Paul to yank me out of my hiding place last night.
Fear burrowed in my soul. Paul would have done that. Unless he didn't make it back.
I waited in my hiding spot until my body protested. I had not cared about the bend in my spine when I was paralyzed with fear. With the light of the day my spine hurt, with the fear disappearing from my body.
I took a deep breath. My human nose is not smelling anything sickly sweet. I peered out of the closet. Nothing was out of place. Turning back on my phone I texted Mike. I needed a human distraction.
'Hey, can you pick me up for work today?'
I waited until he texted that he was outside before blindly running out of my house. I jumped into his car and didn't look back.
"You okay? You haven't done that since" Mike paused
He scanned the world outside as he drove. I kept my attention on Mike. His strong jaw, confident aura. This was just like high school. When I would go between Mike's company to Paul's. The difference is I, would have woken in Paul's arms before running to Mike's car.
Mike pulled over to the back of the store. Opening the loading bay before pulling the car in. He kept the car door locked until the automatic door rolled closed behind us.
"Is he back?" Mike asked.
I closed my eyes. Fear creeping up my throat. Mike knew enough for a human.
"Did he touch you?" Mike turned in his chair. He put a hand against my head. I leaned into the human touch. He cradled my head, signaling that he wanted me to tell him.
"No." I sighed.
He breathed a sigh of relief.
"He just stared at me naked. Then told me I was a whore."
Mike undid my seatbelt. His strong arms pulled me onto his lap. I relaxed against his chest. Feeling safe for a moment. Mike always had a way of making me feel safe. It was his steady heart beat and normal temperature.
"Want to talk about it?" He asked after my heart stopped aggressively pounding.
I shook my head against his chest.
Mike let out a restrained laugh. This had been a regular occurrence in the months after he left. Mike coped with it by making jokes. I coped with it by clinging to both Mike and Paul.
"What can I do?" Mike's arms tightened around me. Pulling me closer to him.
I needed the physical connection. Paul normally came back to me when they were done searching for vampires. I hadn't had the touch of safety, and fear riddled my body. I needed to tame it.
I kissed Mike's neck. Trying to convince him without words to give me what I needed. I needed his body to ground me to this reality. Edward would never fuck me. If Mike did, then I knew I was safe.
"Bella?"
"Please" I whined
He pushed me away from his face. Looking me in the eyes. He could see the desperation that shined out of me. I needed him. I needed him to prove that I wasn't a whore. That I could be worth someone to love. Mainly, I needed to feel human.
"Please Mike. I need to feel safe"
Mike leaned the car seat all the way back. Ignoring the clock that clicked closer to the store opening. We both wiggled out of our pants. No time to take off shirts. This was meant to be quick and fast. We both knew what we needed.
Reaching over to the glove box Mike pulled out a bottle of lube.
"Mike, do you fuck in this car often?" I teased.
My fingers worked my clit as I waited for him to be ready to enter me. I felt myself start to drip down onto his thighs.
"I figured after yesterday that anywhere you are involved, I should have some. I want to fuck you silly. I want to be considerate about it"
"What a gentleman" I whispered in his ear before placing a bite on the lobe.
Mike moaned. If it was from me biting his ear, or from him spreading the lube, I do not know.
I slid my slit over his naked throbbing cock. Teasing him. Convincing his sizable member to coat my pussy's lips with precum.
"Fuck. I am not usually this fast with most girls"
"Lucky for you, I am not most girls" I spoke as his cock entered me to my apex. Allowing myself a moment to adjust before bouncing up and down on his member.
"FUCK!" Mike screamed into the empty loading bay.
I kissed down his neck, trying to gain as much sensation to ignore my fear. I am not a whore. I am not a whore. I am not a whore. I am not a whore. I am not a whore. I replayed in my mind. Trying to block Edward out. Trying to build a shield from his words. A shield that prevented him from ruining me.
"BELLA!" Mike screamed
This drew me back into my body. I felt myself milking Mike's cock. I knew exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I needed. Arching my back I forced his cock to touch the most sensitive part of me.
"Mike. I am going to.." I moaned.
"CUM FOR ME!" Mike yelled.
I let out a final moan before I felt my body arch a final time. I coated Mike's cock with my sticky, milky cum. Moments later Mike coated the inside of me and his cock with his completion. I rode him lightly for a while longer, wanting this moment of safety to not end so soon.
In the back of my mind I remembered that if Mike was a wolf, this moment could continue until I was bone tired. My mouth salivated at the thought.
"Fuck Bella. That was. Wow"
I flinched at the word wow. Seeing only Edward standing before me, unchanged, examining my naked form.
Mike did not notice. He grabbed us both wet wipes from his car door. He really was prepared. He handed me one.
"What can I do to help you today?" Mike asked. His eyes told me that if I mentioned I wanted to have sex all day, he would have decided to not open the store.
"Let me work. I need a distraction."
Mike breathed in deeply one more time. As if savouring the feeling of me safe in his arms. I did not complain.
In a moment of bravery, I unlocked the car. I slowly stop straddling Mike. I placed my foot on the hood of the car. Giving myself room to clean both of our bodily fluids from my body. Tossing the used baby wipe in the trash can nearby. Going to straighten my shirt when I realized I was still wearing Seth's shirt.
"I like the oversized shirt look on you" Mike's eyes took in my naked legs.
"Thanks. Same routine as last summer?" I asked as I pulled on my pants. Mike practically salivated when he saw I was not wearing any underwear.
Mike pulled me in looking deep into my eyes. I held his gaze, pulling him in for a quick kiss.
"Yes. Except let me open the front door."
His lips pushed against mine again.
"Deal."
I went walking around the empty store. Checking each aisle for anything that wasn't in place. Mike always figured that he was too tired at the end of the shift to do this. I reassembled the hat display. Mike must have not moved this on purpose. A smile touched my lips when I remembered yesterday's escapades here.
When that was assembled I went to count the cash in the register. Mike was good at math, but I was always better. He pawned this off on me every time he had the chance. Not that I minded. The coins grounded me with every ping they made on each other.
I leaned against the back counter as Mike opened the doors. My body tensed. If he had wanted to take me he would do it when the doors opened. Fuck, he would have done it when I was leaving my closet to go to Mike. If he wanted to, he could take me at any moment.
My terrified eyes watched the sliding doors open wide.
Authors Note: Where the FUCK was Paul!