Authors note: Hey SLUTMUFFINS. Your reviews keep me writing. The more reviews the faster I will write the chapters. Let me know what you think about this chapter! xoxo
Chapter 10: Dark Thoughts and Human Lives
I anxiously stared at the front door. Waiting for someone to barge in and tell me what happened last night. At the very worst, for Edward to come and steal me away. Working at Newtons, there was never a no cell phone policy. I still could not bring myself to check if I had any messages.
If something happened to any of my friends because of me. My breathing hitched. I needed to move. Walking through the aisles straightening items. Mike definitely gave me this job as a favor. We had been open almost two hours and only a handful of people came in. Most looking to get fish bait. I used them to pass the time. Living with Charlie I had been surrounded with talk of fishing. When the TV was not on sports it was on the fishing channel.
When all the fishermen left to start trying to catch with their new supplies, a lull hit the store. Now it was time to wait for the weekend adventurers. I walked to make sure everything was stocked in the climbing, hiking and safety aisles. It was a natural progression after a stressful night last night.
I found myself stocking shelves with his voice in the back of my mind- 'wolf whore, wolf whore, wolf whore' repeating over and over again in my head. Maybe I was a wolf whore. I had not thought anything when Quil made an advance except having fun. Was that so wrong? The darkest part of me spoke 'Edward would have kept us decent. Unlike you did, WHORE!'
"Hey, I am going to grab some good coffee. Do you want any?" Mike asked when the last of the adventurers left.
Good coffee was from the diner in town. Only about 3 minutes walk from the store. Fear struck my heart. I was only alone in the clearing for a minute before Edward decided to make his appearance. With three minutes walk and 5 minutes to get the coffee, plus the walk back. I was looking at being alone in the store for 11 minutes. That is not including if there is a line, or someone stops Mike to talk.
I swallowed hard. I can't be a fucking baby. If I wanted to be coddled all day I would check myself into a psych ward. I am sure I have enough stories that they would keep me in for a long time, if not forever.
"Yes please. Do you think they are still making peppermint mochas?" The idea of a comforting winter beverage made my heart feel better.
"Angela works there. I am sure if I say it is for you she will make a delicious peppermint mocha for you"
Mike walked close. He closed the gap between us. Placing a chaste kiss to my lips before whispering "try not to get into trouble while I am gone"
"Trouble loved me though" I teased back.
"You are trouble" Mike's smile was one that could break hearts. This was the smile he used all throughout high school. He constantly would have different girls crushing on him. All because of that confident boyish smile.
I watched as Mike left the store. The courage I had to stand in front of the glass doors and wait for people vanished as Mike did. Yet, Mike would be no match against things that haunt me in the night.
Walking the aisles, I settled into my role here. This would be so easy, to love Mike. Help him out with the store. I knew it brought in enough money for us to live comfortably in Forks. He would not protest to me setting up an office in the back so I could still write. Maybe I could ghost write for authors when our children went to school.
Until then, set up a toddler display and let our little ones enjoy the equipment. Mike and I could show the little ones how to camp. Mike would teach them how to climb mountains. I could show them how to jump off cliffs. Each day spent beside Mike would be set firmly in reality. Nothing supernatural about the world he could encompass me in.
That still would not change what I knew to be true about the world. Simply choosing to ignore the supernatural would not actually bring me out of the present situation. It would be bad if I had an ex boyfriend who was stalking me. Remembering that this ex boyfriend is also a vampire added an edge to this mess that I did not want to drag Mike into.
If I had Mike's children, they would definitely live as happily as humans can for years, however, one day I knew Edward would come back for me. What if our daughter's blood sang just as much as mine had? If Edward showed up dating my child, who would I call to protect them? If I lived strictly in the human world, who would I call to protect me?
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. If I was being honest with myself it had been buzzing all morning. Not that I wanted to get bad news when I was trying to blissfully hold onto the normality of work. I do not know what I would do if I found out that someone did not make it back.
The darkest part of my mind let out a whisper of hope. 'I hope Edward is safe'.
My mouth went dry with the realization that a part of me wanted Edward to be safe. Mind you, that was a small part. It was still a part of me. I did not deserve the wolves. I did not deserve their love or company. They had better people to surround themselves with.
Maybe Rachel was right when she told me "once a leech lover always a leech lover".
What if that is why Paul did not come over yesterday, because he did not want to? Maybe he believed Rachel. She was his imprint, after all. At some point you need to listen to your mate. I had been away at school, and we had lost touch before I left. Paul had not come to see me before I left. He did have time to adjust to his imprint. Yet he still looked like he was burning yesterday.
The front doors swung open. Panic touched me before I sent it deep into my gut. I needed to focus without fear.
"You are in luck" I almost screamed as Mike turned down the aisle. "Angela said that she would make your drink special for you if you promise to visit soon"
I forced a smile to my lips. Taking the cup that Mike offered. The warm liquid made me calm almost instantly. Step-Daddy Phil taught me that peppermint had a focusing effect on the brain. Whenever I needed to focus I would have peppermint. The hot chocolate addition to my drink was strictly Renee. Anytime emotions were slightly heightened growing up she would pack chocolate into our diets. The years before Phil it was a monthly chocolate overload. I was still my fathers daughter, so the drink needed that bit of caffeine. Having every parental figure in a cup caused me to be able to relax.
I nursed the cup through the rest of my shift. When eight hours rolled around Mike stretched. His shoulders popped as he moved them. It had been a successful day at the shop. People had started getting into water sports. I watched Mike use his muscles to take down canoes and paddle boards all day. Mike caught me looking at the paddle boards and told me to borrow one whenever I wanted. I simply smiled at him.
"I have to do some inventory before I go," Mike sighed. He flipped the sign out front from open to closed. "You look tired. Want me to drive you home?"
"No. That's okay. It's sunny. Why waste the only sunny day on a car ride?" I smiled at him. Kissing him on the lips before making my leave.
The sun touched my skin as I made the short walk home. I took the long way. Trying to avoid the woods on my short journey home. I had never minded that Charlie's house backed up to the forest before now. Now, it seemed like an invitation to the supernatural. I unlocked and locked the house as fast as I could. Leaning against the front door after I locked it, I let myself sink down against the wood. As if this would stop anything I was afraid of. Doors are not built to keep monsters out.
Gentle knocks tapped against the wood. Fear clamped down on my throat. I couldn't breathe, let alone scream. It was pointless to try to hide now. They had undoubtedly followed me. If not that, watched me walk into my house. I did the only thing I could think of. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I sent a text to Embry.
'I love you. Please don't blame yourself. Stay safe. Find happiness'
Should I send a text to the rest of the pack? Maybe a group text? No. The last thing I needed was to cause them more pain. It would be unfair since mine would be over soon. I felt my body shake causing the door to wiggle on its hinges. What would I even say to them?
I thought of Seth as I watched pieces of the back door fly, as it was smashed open.
Authors Note: Who is at the door? ;) xoxo review for the next chapter.