Authors Note: Hi SmutMuffins! Thanks for all the love for the last chapter. I hope this one makes up for the cliffhanger. Give this chapter some love with Reviews! As always Happy Reading xoxo

Chapter 11: Orders and Embraces.

I covered my face as the back door exploded. Fear enraptured my heart, it threatened to explode out of my body. My ribs are straining against its rapid beating. I felt my ribs constricting against my heart, this stopped them from expanding for my breath. Each small inhale sounded like a whistle to my own ears.

I reached for the door knob above me, knowing I locked it. Human hope is still burning within me. I turned the knob to find the door locked. Panic not allowing my brain to think. I only knew fight or flight. Since I knew I did not have the strength to break open the door like the monster had, flight was my only option.

Stumbling forward, I clawed my way up the stairs. Locking myself in the bathroom. I walked backwards in the room until I fell in the tub. I allowed myself to lay in the small basin. It acted like my living coffin. A ceremonial tomb for the death that was surely coming. Maybe the monster wanted me to die as the sun left the sky. Nature's way of saying goodbye. This is why humans should not venture into the supernatural world. Unless invited in by a bond, never by curiosity.

I closed my eyes and let the tears run down the sides of my face. Each tear falling into the tub makes a low ring off the porcelain. A small beam of natural light shone out from under the door. I watched as the room grew dimmer, until the darkness in the room circled around me. My face became sticky with my fallen tears. I could feel the fresh tears stumbling over the dried path of the tears before.

'You deserve this, you whore. You deserve to die in the most painful way. The only time you were worthy was when you dated Edward.'

I tried to shut out the darkness in my mind. I learned to control it after Edward left the first time. Paul had me running mind silencing exercises. He had to learn them to control his anger. For the first month he was a wolf he was sprouting fur constantly. The same way when Edward left me I was trapped inside my own mind.

I would give up a peaceful death to have Paul silence my mind once more.

'You just want to be Paul's WHORE. Only Edward has ever LOVED you. Edward LOVED you and you FUCKED WOLVES'

I tried to relax my brain. Remembering the steps Paul had told me to follow.

'PAUL'S WHORE'

Nausea bubbled up. I needed my mind to stop screaming at me. I was going to lose it. I needed my mind to stop moving. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

'That is all you think about. Fucking! You wolf WHORE. Edward told you to stay PURE!'

I rolled to my side. Pulling my knees up to my chest. The tub pushed against my back and knees. It made me feel more comfortable, the pressure mirrored my brain. My tears dried up. Each breath became harder. I needed Paul.

'You NEED EDWARD! FUCK PAUL!'

I wanted to scream as the voices in my head yelled at me. The world around me only had the sound of my breath. The differences between the inside of my head and the world around me became physically painful. It reminded me that I was unable to control anything.

Currently hiding in a bathtub after my downstairs door exploded. This is what I would have expected teenage me to end up in. Not me at 25 years old. I was too old to be laying in a bathtub crying. Too old for the monsters of the night to scare me out of my life.

I sat up in the tub. Ignoring the fact that my back door was in pieces downstairs. Ignoring that the only thing stopping me from death was another, weaker door. I removed my clothing, folding it and placing it on the sink. I turned on the water. Letting the cold water splash off me. The water slowly warmed. When it was a comfortable temperature, I flipped the switch. The shower turned on. Covering me in warm rain.

It warmed my body. The warmth of the water chasing away the fear. Standing, I started to clean my body. I let the water run through my hair. Pulling out twigs and leaves from the night before. A blush lit up my face. I could not die with evidence leading the chief of police to the wolves. Taking my time to remove all the pieces of debris from my hair.

'You made us into such a WHORE'

The warmth of my body made it easier to fight back from the dark cold thoughts in my brain. Detaching the showerhead from the stand I changed the settings. Now a single hard stream coursed through the nozzle. Propping my leg up on the edge of the tub, I focused the stream of water. First on my nipples. They peaked and reached, loving the attention of the water. My body let out a moan.

'Edward would NOT approve of this!'

I laughed. If the monster was standing outside that door they would have thought me crazy. The dark part of my mind had a flawed memory. We had been doing this when we dated Edward. Only we called it human moments, not masturbation.

Moving the stream lower I focused it on the spot I needed. My clit was moved and pressed by the stream of the water. I gripped the tiles to keep me standing. Fuck, this felt good. I needed more. Guiding the stream of water around my pussy. Soaking every inch of my pussy lips until they swelled and opened. Allowing the water to stream in, hitting my g spot with enough force.

'You Whore! You are a dirty Whore! Now is not the time to play with yourself!'

I embraced the negative thoughts. I was a whore. I was a whore who was currently going to climax by my own skill. The thought of cumming on myself drew me short of orgasm. I let my mind wander.

Embry's embrace.

Sam's kisses.

Paul's anal.

Quil's cum.

Seth's.

I felt myself squirt. Breaking my concentration. The only thing I knew was the pleasure. The only thing I could feel was safe.

Letting myself catch my breath I tried to listen to my mind. The dark parts had left. My mind felt like a supportive place again. A shudder rocked my body as I thought about what had occurred. I had allowed the darkest part to take over.

Regardless of what Rachel thought, I needed Paul. If I was getting this bad again, I could only imagine how he was doing. Maybe that is why he was the burning man. I needed to get to him soon. I could feel the back of my mind stirring again. Maybe it had been for a while. It could have been there this entire time.

Turning off the shower I toweled off. Dressing in Seth's shirt, I walked from the bathroom to my room. Downstairs was pitch black. The sun had finally set.

I quickly slipped on a pair of sweatpants. Pulling on my old hiking boots. I wasn't planning on following anything into the darkness. These boots did have a solid sole though, good for kicking. Fishing out the pepper spray and tying my hair back, I was ready to find out who was breaking my fathers house.

The confidence of the orgasm started to fade as I crept down the stairs. This seemed so much more rational when I was mid bliss. Now it felt dumb. I reached into the pocket of my pants for my phone. Fuck. I forgot it in my other pants. If I turned back now, the monster could easily take advantage of my blind spot. I cursed myself under my breath. Knowing that no matter how slow I was going it did not matter, the monsters could hear me.

The debris from the door was gone. It stood on its hinges like it had never been broken. What in the living hell is happening? A small note was taped to the door.

Bella. Sorry about the door. Please come outside. I need to see you.

Ripping open the new door I ran outside. I knew that writing anywhere. Moments later I was scooped into caring arms. He spun me around my backyard. My grip on him was just as tight as his on mine. If I had saved any tears they would have fallen now. The rest of my fear drained out of me. I would always be safe if he was here.

"Sorry about your door"

"What the hell was that all about? I almost died of a heart attack"

He steadied me on the ground before letting me go. Paul shot his hands up straight to the sky, an innocent gesture.

"Please don't be mad. I brought you a new door."

"I see that. I thought I was going crazy before I read your note."

Paul laughed. The sound was both boyish and carefree. It transported me back to nights spent in his bed.

"So why did you not just come in?"

For the first time in my life I saw Paul without an answer. He never kept anything from me.

"Paul?" my face scrunched up before I could compose myself.

"Bells don't look like that. It's just - Fuck."

"Did Jake tell you not to tell me?"

Paul shook his head.

"LEAH?" hurt laced my voice. Leah was the second in command; she could make orders to keep secrets from outsiders.

Paul shook his head again.

"Do they know you have been ordered not to talk to me?"

Agony laced his features as he shook his head no again.

"Oh" I breathed out. There was only one other person that had this power over Paul. My chin dropped to my chest.

"But I am here now." Paul breathed out.

"How did you swing that?"

"I told her I was on patrol." Sadness soaked into his form. Paul had never been a liar.

I wrapped my arms around Paul. Pulling him into my body. I needed him not to be sad. Cupping his face I brought his lips to mine. He sucked hungrily at my lips. Holding me there for what felt like a lifetime.

"I miss you" He sighed between kisses.

"I miss you too," I said, deepening the kiss.

Tears began to fall from his eyes. I moved away from his lips to kiss each tear as it descended. Until the tears stopped. His body became rigid under mine.

"What?" I asked, holding his face.

"She is calling me back," he growled.

"Stay," I begged. It was not the first time I asked Paul to stay with me. Each time before I would get the same response. He would roll his eyes and tell me 'Bells, there is no where that I would rather be'

This time, however, was different. He slowly nodded. I could see the war that was being fought internally. See the pain that was written on Paul's face. I could not cause him pain.

"Go to her. Know I love you Pauly" I whispered.

"I love you Bells"

He used all his strength to kiss me one more time before vanishing into the night.

Grabbing the note off the door I added it to the book of Paul's notes to me. I retrieved my phone from the bathroom. Flopping on my bed as I looked at all the missed messages.

Each member of the pack had texted me at least ten times. I found Embry's text thread. He responded to my message with a 'WTF does that mean! Paul should be outside your door.'

I smiled at that. Embry trusted Paul with my wellbeing, how I would love to be a fly on the wall when he tells Embry about the door.

A tap sounded at my window. Gathering bravery I walked over to it. Seth was standing on the ground. I pushed the squeaky glass up the frame. I had regularly oiled this in high school. Well, I guess Paul did. I will have to get the name of the product from him, if I wanted to have late night visitors when Charlie actually chose to come home.

"Hey Seth" I whispered.

"Can I come in?"

Nodding, I backed away from the window. It never ceases to impress me that the huge men could squeeze gracefully through my small bedroom window. Seth stood before me, not closing the gaps between our bodies.

I needed contact. Walking close to him, he wrapped me in his arms. Seth breathed in my scent. This would have been weird if I did not spend the past ten years surrounded by wolves. Tucking my chin into his chest I squeezed him hard.

His hand found my chin. Angling it up so he could see my face.

"Are you okay?" his gentle toned voice asked.

"I am now" I smiled.

"I just came to check on you. Paul said you looked fine but shaken up."

"Is everyone alright?" Panic laced through me as I spoke the words.

"Yeah"

"Did you guys?" I couldn't voice the ending of my question. The dark spot in my mind began screaming at me. 'Your MUTTS better not have touched MY EDWARD'.

"No. If he tries that again, we will"

I could see his eyes scanning mine. I prayed that he could not see the darkness within me. The me who was in control most of the time wanted Edward to never come back. I feared what would happen if the darkness inside me had control.

Seth looked saddened by what he saw in my eyes. I could not stand to see him with any negative emotions. The boy deserved so much more than that.

I brought his lips down to mine.

Seth broke the kiss. I could see in his face the agony that action caused him.

"Bella. Please don't Kiss me if you are going to send me away. No one could get a hold of you today. Your scent..." Seth trailed off. His voice cut out with a pained sound.

"I am so sorry." I needed to feel him against me again. The separation of our bodies was a physical pain for me.

He kissed me deep and hard. I let him have access to me, kissing down my neck. Seth nipped at my collar bone. I let out a satisfied noise.

Seth let out a deep laugh.

"Bella. As much as I want to. Fuck, I am going to kill myself for saying this tonight. As much as I want to do this, with you. I want to actually go out first."

"Go out?"

"Like a date. I want more than what the others get. I want you."

I smiled, bringing his lips down to mine. He deepened the kiss. The boy was still learning control over his wolf as the wolf bit my bottom lip.

"Bella" Seth moaned against my mouth.

"Yes" I giggled, kissing him back harder.

"If we don't stop now." His hands found his shirt on me. The wolf let out a needy sound.

I broke the kisses. Not letting him step away from me. I needed his warmth tonight.

"Can you sleep with me please?" I felt like a child asking.

"Sleep with you here?"

"Just sleep. I don't want to be alone tonight."

I stripped off my sweatpants while keeping his shirt on. Climbing into bed, allowing him to see my naked ass as I slipped under the covers. Turning to look at him expectantly.

"Bella" I could see the need in his eyes.

"Just sleep. Take off your jeans, I want to cuddle."

Seth complied. I had to control my eyes as I noticed how sizable his cock looked, even at half mast. It might be the biggest I have had. My toes curled in anticipation. Seth climbed into bed just in his boxers. He lifted an arm inviting me to cuddle. Swinging a leg over his waist I cuddled in with my head on his chest.

We both let out content sighs. This might be the most comfortable I have ever been in bed.

"Goodnight Bella"

"Seth!" Panic gripped me.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay until I wake up?"

He placed a kiss on my forehead "I will stay for as long as you want"