"He is more than your best friend," Collin snorted. "I know I would want to know if my-" Collin stopped talking, his face turning crimson under his already tanned skin. Collin made a sound that was almost like the word he was trying to say was choked out of his sentence.
"His what?!" I barked
Collin shook his head, eyes dropping to the floor. I knew that expression. Lived with the packs long enough to know exactly what it meant. Fucking Alpha Order.
Chapter 17: Memories and Realizations
As Always Happy Reading
I found my clothing nicely folded next to a towel. Drying off quickly, I dressed with supernatural speed. To do what, though, I wasn't quite sure.
"Bella, do you even know how to get out of the forest?" Collin called from behind me.
He was re-dressed in cut-offs. Collin looked distressed. His short hair had dried with the amount that he had raked his fingers through it.
I couldn't bring myself to care about his stress at the moment. The pack was keeping something from me. I had thought they would have learned that I deserved to be in the loop.
Yet, here I was again, being used by supernatural beings.
'At Least Edward Kept You Pure' the voice in the back of my mind pointed out.
Fuck. I couldn't argue with that. Sure, Edward wanted to kill me for us to be together forever, but he hadn't been intimate with me under false pretences.
"Go away, Collin"
I picked a random direction and started walking.
"At least let me guide you out." Collin begged.
Keep begging, mutt. I am mad at the entire pack for keeping secrets. Secrets that fucking involve me!
"Bella, do you realize the amount of shit I would be in if I fucked you and left you in the forest?" Collin pleaded.
"I will make this easy for you, Collin" I turned to face him.
"Thank you" he sighed. "I get it, be mad, I fucked up by accidentally slipping that there was more to your friendship. Let me make it up to you and help you out of the forest"
"No thanks" I turned back and started walking.
"What do you mean no thanks? I thought you were making it easy on me?" Collin choked.
"I am. Go tell the pack the next wolf I see is getting shot. If you walk me back to my Dad's house, then it will be you" I internally shuddered at the venom in my voice.
"Bella…" Collin whines
"Go away doggy"
After about a mile I didn't hear Collin's footsteps. That meant one of two things - either I was on the right track and would emerge into town soon, or, I was getting myself helplessly lost and Collin knew he was not the wolf to guide me home.
I should have swam downstream. Allowed myself to be spat out into the ocean. Maybe a passing fishing boat would have given me a ride to, well, anywhere but here.
In the forest, I was in the wolves territory. There was no hiding from them here. I sighed, knowing that if I thought I was alone, really a wolf was just being kind. No one in the forest was alone.
Hopefully I would come across a tree or stream that looked familiar. Then I would know if I was on the right path. Maybe threatening to shoot Collin was a little rushed.
Looking at the sky, the sun was beginning to fade into the trees, forcing the world into a blue film. I used to long for this transition, knowing that soon I would get to see my monster again. Now, it made my skin crawl, knowing that vampires are potentially everywhere.
Coming home might have been a mistake. I felt safer in the city. The statistics of becoming prey to vampires had to be less living in a city. Though, it wasn't true when the vampires had taken over Seattle.
Following a twisting path around a tree I paused. I knew this spot. The ferns had grown larger, the trees older. Yet, I remember. The same betrayal carving a hole in my chest as before.
Moving the ferns, I found the spot. My spot. The only spot in the forest that had ever potentially been hidden.
Like before, I climbed in. The same cocoon of moss met me, trying to comfort my soul. My breathing slowed. Each breath a reminder of old pain, mixing with new pain.
How could the pack betray me like this?
'At Least Edward Did It For Your Own Good' the voice in the back of my mind purred.
Tears saturated the ground. I became exhausted, the activities of the day catching up to me. Had I really let myself sleep with three people? Two of which had been keeping secrets.
That was not a good fraction, 1/3 people I had raw-dogging their dicks into me had something to hide. This felt like a colossal failure on my part.
This was why I never wanted an imprint. I had been in what I thought was a forever and a day kind of love. He left, came back, then- I forced myself to not think about that moment, the feeling of his skin as he spoke in that convincing cadence.
The acceptance that I would be his, it made sense, I had been with him long enough to know he would live forever, yet chose me. I was the lucky one.
'Go Back To Our Love. Edward Misses Us. We Know That!' The voice in the back of my mind screamed.
Twilight turned to a moonless darkness. Yet, no one disrupted my hiding spot. Maybe this is for the best. Without the wolves, I would have never been found from my hiding spot all those years ago. Instead of feeling in pain, I would be… well, I guess dead.
I shivered against the cold ground. Maybe I am not as catatonic as I was last time I was here. I tried to focus my mind on reconnecting with my teenage stupidity and stubbornness.
At 25 those emotions had tampered off, tamed by life experiences. I cursed, it would be so nice to have that resolve. Get the boy or die trying. Lay in the forest long enough to freeze to death, all to protest the loss of a high school love.
I decided to give myself five more minutes to gain the resolve to die for my cause. If I died, I wouldn't get to know the secret. My fist hit the ground. Why did I have to grow up?
"You done under there, Swan?"
I should have known I wouldn't be alone. They wouldn't tuck tail and leave. That wasn't in the pack's nature.
I reached my hand out between the ferns. A warm hand grabbed mine, pulling me effortlessly out of my depression hole.
"I know you all have been keeping a secret from me" I glared at the wolf in front of me.
Truthfully, I knew I was an outsider still. Even though I could identify the men by dick pics at this point in our relationship, I still wasn't considered a member of the pack. If anything, I was a parasite, a worm that attempted to infiltrate the pack, sucking and using the men. I wouldn't be surprised if soon they all took dewormers and I was out, never to be protected by the wolves again.
"Yeah, we all have secrets. Wanna know what Rachel yells at me when I fuck her?" Paul's voice had a hard note to it.
"What does she say? I would guess it would be something like, 'aren't you glad I'm not Bella?'" My throat choked off my sound.
I had loved Paul, heart and soul. If he would have proposed when we had been having constant sleepovers, I would have said yes. No matter what, I knew I could trust Paul. Sure, it would have been an open marriage, sharing the partners we brought home. It would have still been honest. More honest than the lie I knew he was also keeping from me.
"Ha" Paul laughed bitterly.
He turned to leave. I knew I struck a bone, and spoke out of line. He had offered me a glimpse into his current reality, and I rejected it.
"Paul, please don't go" I begged
"No. You don't get to order me around, Swan. I know we fucked up. I told them that when they put the fucking order in place. Rachel was there, why do you think I am not allowed in your fucking house?! It's not because Rachel thinks I will take you and fuck you if the walls of your house keep my secret. It's because… Fuck! It's because I never wanted to lie to you. Rachel knew I would fight this order. Knew I would go and tell you, so she made sure we could never be truly alone!" Paul yelled.
"It's not because you would have fucked me?" I asked dumbfounded.
"Bells! That's what you got from that? That I still think your fucking bangable?"
I felt myself become damp at his words. Paul had always been my safety net. Never lied, always told me too much truth. Yet here we were, in the space he had found me, where he had saved me from dying all those years ago.
When I didn't speak, Paul charged at me. His body moved too fast towards me, until he crashed into me, pinning me to the tree. One hand held my wrists above my head, the other wrapped around my waist.
"Bella. Fucking. Swan." Paul growled.
His lips came down hard on mine. Then I was in an all consuming fire, the inferno tied us together. There was no ability to tell where I began and where Paul ended. It was simply us, as one, just like I remembered.
Paul had a way of working my body that none of the other wolves had managed. Maybe it was the years of practice. If I was being honest, I always assumed it was because Paul and I had always been opposites.
Where he was loud, outgoing and easy to anger. I was quiet, socially traumatized, and easy to apathy. Together, we completed both sides of the coin.
"Paul" I moaned into his mouth.
His kisses became desperate. Like he was fighting for his life with each new lick of his tongue. Soon my mouth tasted like him. I bit his lip, forcing him to focus on my eyes.
The guttural sound that escaped his lips was one that I had been masturbating to for the past year. I had convinced Paul to let me record that noise before Rachel was in the picture. It was both husky need with a slight needy whine at the end. Truly orgasm-worthy.
Everything about Paul demanded women fall at his feet panting. The power radiating off him would have had any women demanding the privilege of sucking his dick.
"Bella" Paul sighed.
His hand moving from my hips slipped into the waistband of my pants. His hips moved under me, supporting my weight against the tree. I could feel how incredibly hard he was, as his cock was forcing itself between my ass cheeks.
I pushed my ass down the tree to get a better feeling of his cock holding me up.
"Paul. I want you in me." I complained between kisses.
Paul nipped at my skin. It brought me back to all the sleepovers. Waking up to him slowly nibbling my ear, working his way down my body.
I bucked my hips, partly because of the past memory, but mainly because Paul's massive hand was playing with my clit.
Paul swallowed my moan with his mouth.
"Shhh my little bird. I don't want to have to share you with another wolf. Let me play with you all by myself"
He nipped my neck, moving lower. Releasing my wrists, I grabbed onto his shoulders just in time for him to sit me on his face.
Teeth ripped through my pants and underwear, exposing me fully to the wolf currently under me.
His tongue entered me, coating my entrance with a mix of his saliva and my slick. Paul let his wolf nature out as he licked me, his tongue was big enough to both be inside me and stimulate my clit.
I bit down on my hand, to stop from screaming in pleasure. I had waited too long to have Paul again, to ruin it by letting others know what we were doing.
Paul's face became slick, I felt myself slipping over his face as I orgasmed. His nose was a perfect shape for my clit, and I ground against his face as the cum gushed out of me.
Paul moaned into me, as I rained down on his face. He never stopped licking, knowing how crazy it drove me to be stimulated as I cum.
Without warning I was pulled down from his face. His lips crashed into mine, the need he demanded on full display. Tasting my own sweetness on his tongue.
Paul broke our kiss, the glint in his eye was one I was very familiar with, one I had dreamed about when I was away at school. Just crazed enough to tell me how desperately he needed me. I felt his cutoffs fall and his cock spring up to meet me.
"Little bird, can I please fuck you?" Paul asked breathlessly.
"Fuck, please!"
Even though he had already made me squirt I knew my need for this man would never be satisfied. Every time we found ourselves tangled together, there was a spark igniting gasoline. It would take years of daily fucks for us to ever become anything but ravenous for each other.
Paul was always concerned about consent, he had been forced into too many things during his short time on earth. I never felt that he would pressure me, like some other people I knew. Instead he made me feel safe, loved, and as his cock glided effortlessly into me, oh so fucking full.
I cried out, feeling the cock I had missed.
As he pounded into me, I felt myself climaxing over and over again. Paul had a great cock. Of all the wolves I had relations with, I liked his penis the most.
"Fuck little bird, still so ready for me" Paul moaned in my ear.
"More, please Daddy Paul" I demanded.
He laughed against my lips. Hands on my hips he bucked harder into me, almost demanding each orgasm as recommence. I loved when Daddy Paul fucked me, he was in control, relentless, and oh so powerful.
Paul's lips found my nipple demanding his attention as I bounced after each pound on his cock. I felt my vision blur as Paul let himself go balls deep into me.
It felt like his cock was behind my ribs. Impossibly full, but I loved this feeling, knowing that it was something he reserved for me. No imprint would be able to take this man's cock fully.
It was something that I was able to do from years of practice. Also, no wolf would let their imprints feel any ounce of discomfort. Paul had trained my pussy for him and the pack.
Just like now, he was pushing me to the edge of my ability. Knowing that I am able to unlock more of myself for him, he had me milking his cock.
I wanted him to feel just as good inside me as I felt with him.
Paul's thrusts began to feel desperate, leaving stars scattering around my vision as he thrusted fully into me.
"Fuck little bird, I almost forgot how good you feel."
"Daddy Paul, I want you to cum in me"
Paul bit my ear, then laughed holding me close to him.
"Little bird, do you want my cum?"
"Yes, please daddy!" I cried.
Paul picked me up off the tree. Holding my waist, he guided me up and down his shaft, picking up tempo as he started getting closer to his orgasm.
His impossibly long cock started to twitch inside me, slowly widening me to have room for his cum. I gripped his shoulders, holding on for the ride. Daddy Paul could use me however he needed.
With a final thrust, I began to feel fuller than I had in a really long time. He pulled me all the way down to his base. My ass could feel his balls contracting. Paul filled me to the brim, I swore I have never been more full of any cock or fluids before.
I moaned, biting his side to stop it from travelling too far. Knowing if another wolf came around I would need to turn them down. My body was spent after countless orgasms.
"Fuck, I forgot how much I loved fucking you" Paul breathed like a prayer.
He didn't withdraw from me, choosing instead to walk with us still connected. With each step I could feel a swoosh of fluids mixing inside me.
"I'm going to bring you home baby bird" Paul whispered.
"Rachel won't mind?" I questioned.
They had begun living together soon after the imprint.
"Not my home, your home. I think Charlie is out. If not, I will sneak us in." Paul kissed the top of my head.
His arms held me tight to his chest. I felt myself relax in his embrace. Even with his cock inside me still, I couldn't find an argument against him holding me.
I was like a plant being watered by one of the hottest men alive, I dare any plants to reject his water.
Luckily, Charlie wasn't home. Paul opened the back door. I watched as his demeanour changed. The optimism and passion that he had moments ago vanished. Replaced by pain, he was the burning man again.
"Fuck. I thought now that you know we had a secret I would be able to pass the entrance of your house. I was really wanting to help you wash up and cuddle you to sleep" Paul breathed against my cheek.
I could see he was genuinely upset that he wasn't able to perform aftercare, or engage in our normal cuddling. Though the reminder of the secret set my soul aflame again.
Fuck. I had just forgotten about the fucking secret. Now Paul brings it up, brings up the betrayal while I am still holding his cock within me!
I pushed off Paul. Anger flooded my body, I wanted, no, I needed space. The pack had lied.
As I abandoned my favourite cock to the night air I turned on my heels and walked up the stairs.
"Fuck! Bells do you want me to call anyone? Tell anyone well… fuck.. anything?" Paul yelled behind me.
I could feel the trail I was leaving in my wake. Paul really had emptied everything into me. I wouldn't be surprised if he was shooting blanks for the next few days.
"Sure" I yelled back, hearing the venom in my tone "I have been told to fuck the pack. Anyone I haven't fucked yet, tell them to show up, shut up, and let me complete this fucking order. Also tell Embry.." I paused not knowing what I wanted to tell my best friend. My best friend and, I guess, central to the secret.
I started to sob. Abandoning my decree, I walked into the bathroom. As I climbed into a scorching bath, I closed my eyes and tried to not think about any of this.
I couldn't help the voice in the back of my mind 'We Could Have Been Planning Our Six Year Wedding Anniversary. Instead You Are Sitting In A Bath Leaking Imprinted Dog Semen.'
I let the tears fall, maybe I was wrong to trust my wolves.
Authors Note: Everyone better be reacting in the reviews!
Question for you: For the next chapter do you want: A)Human Fuck Party B)A Specific Wolf (Tell me the name in the review) C) Hot Daddy Charlie
I really do care about you as my readers! I want you to be as excited about this story as I am. Please Please Please tell me what you want to read in the next chapter!