Just off a quiet street in the middle of Queens there sat a house. One full of love and laughter and joy, though none who had called that home would have ever expected such emotions to become so part of their lives. The husband who hadn't been sure he could be a good role model. The wife who had acted horrified when told she was barren but had been relieved all the same for she feared she could never be a mother. And the little boy who had lost his parents and proved to his uncle and aunt that they did possess the love needed to be guardians to a young life.

"Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

The woman leaned down to kiss her nephew's head, his room specially decorated for Christmas. Stockings, some soft Christmas lights hung up, a wreathe on the door.

"The children were nestled asleep in their bed while visions of sugarplums danced in their heads."

Stepping aside and whispering 'Goodnight' the woman made to head to bed herself.

"Mama in her-"

"This is boooooooring!"

~MC~MC~MC~

Chris Chase, the man behind the hero Spider-Chaos, leader of the Avengers, Earth's lead diplomat, and head of anachronisms at the New Chaos City Historical Society, looked up from the book he was reading and glared at Miles Y.

Or, rather, Cassie Strange who was holding Miles Y up, the baby blinking as she wiggled him about.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"It is so boring, dada!" Cassie said, hiding her head behind Miles Y's body. "We demand to be entertained, dada!"

"It's a classic!" Chris complained.

"It is boring! You are boring me to death!" She made Miles Y press his pudgy hand to his forehead. "Avenge me Gwen!"

Gwen T. giggled at that as her baby brother flopped backwards onto Cassie.

"Come on Cassie," Chris said. "I'm trying to read the story-"

"Your story is dry and stale!" Cassie said, still pretending to be Miles Y. "Not like my dancing! That is fresh!" she began to make the baby 'dance'. "look at these moves!" she declared which had Miles G, Peter L and Ben R. snickering. The fact that those two were laughing dulled any annoyance that Chris might have felt; it was so rare to see them truly happy.

"I have to admit I agree with Cassie," Nathaniel Asgard said from where he sat, drinking an egg nog.

"You mean Miles!" Cassie proclaimed. "I didn't say a word." She wiggled the baby. "It was me!" she said in her fake Miles voice. "I want fighting! Battle! Excitement! Not quiet houses, dada!"

One of Corrosion's Rockets tilted his head. "It was kind of boring," he admitted.

"So boring! The opposite of my ninja skills!" Cassie made Miles Y. do some karate chops.

Once more his kids, and the little Rocket Raccoons, burst into giggles and laughter, which made Chris just sigh and shut the book. It was a lost cause, apparently.

All of them were gathered at their home at the National Historical Society. While it was rare for New Chaos City to have a peaceful night the Star Jammers had shown up and Scott and Alex had promised that they would watch over the city so that Chris could spend Christmas Eve and Day with his children. The rest of the Avengers had decided to take advantage of the offer and take some time off. It had ended up being decided that they would have a massive slumber party at Chris' place. All of them were in their pajamas after having dinner, the kids, Rockets, Corrosion and Chris drinking hot coco while the rest of the avengers enjoyed egg nog (and Chris was sure that Cassie's was so alcoholic it could explode if shaken).

They were an odd collection of people, even against New Chaos City standards. Chris was dressed like a stereotypical mid western father, wearing basic pajamas with a bathrobe and slippers. Nathaniel, meanwhile, was draped in silk, looking like the devil himself and drinking his egg nog from an ornate stein. Alec was wearing a pink bunny onsie while Corrosion was a mass of contradictions with her cheerful pink pajamas that also had plenty of black on it thanks to the symbiote that was constantly oozing out of her to snag Christmas cookies. Cloak and Dagger were on the couch, which was usual for the lazy pair, while Sir Martin was wearing a pair of sweats and a baggy white shirt. And of course there were the kids; Chris' own, dressed in their new Christmas PJs, and Corrosions' horde of Rocket Raccoons, with the latest, having been saved JUST after having gained the ability to speak, swaddled and held tight in her arms, her symbiote always checking on the baby to make sure he wasn't overwhelmed.

They had all been through so much and Chris wanted them to have a wonderful Christmas.

"Dad?" Gwen T. asked, tugging on his pantleg.

"What is it?" he asked, lifting the 5 year old up onto his lap. She had only recently begun calling him 'dad'… he'd never pressed her, understanding she still mourned the death of her parents at the hand of her world's Green Goblin. Still, it warmed his heart that she was finding it in herself to love again.

Gwen looked down at her lap, fiddling with the edge of her shirt. "How does Santa get to ALL the houses at night?"

"Magic," Cassie declared, the Wongs that had been invited to join her nodding in agreement. Nathaniel did the same and Chris honestly wasn't surprised that the magicals (or the Skrulls that thought they were magical and the retired Asgardian) were on the side of magic.

"Well, a bit magic," Chris said. "But there are MANY Santas."

"There are?" Gwen said, surprised and he noticed the other kids perk up.

"Oh yes!" Chris said with a grin. "There is the Jolly Ol' Elf and the determined Toy Maker and the Guardian of Children… each have a section of the world they must see to tonight. That's why Santa looks different at every mall or at the parades or all that."

One of the Rockets raised his hand. "And who is the Santa visiting up, Uncle Chris?"

"Well… let me tell you a story about it-"

"Excited story!" Cassie made Miles Y declare.

"-tell you an EXCITED story about it. It takes place on Earth 1225…"

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Earth-1225

Snow was falling down upon the city, which wasn't too surprising because there always seemed to be snow falling. And it wasn't the thick, wet, nasty snow that gnarled up roads and soaked through mittens and hats. No… this was the most beautiful of snows. Pillowy soft so that if you dived into a pile of it you felt like you were being supported by a cloud. It never seemed to touch the roads or sidewalks but instead loved to cling to lampposts and overheads, coating them like frosting. You could blow it away if you breathed hard enough but also it could be packed together to make the perfect snowballs and snow forts. And if you took a sled down a hill made of the stuff it seemed to know JUST how fast to go to give you a thrill without scaring you.

What made this snow that was falling noteworthy was that it wasn't just any snow. No… this was Christmas Snow and that always held something a bit extra within its flakes. Like crystallizing magic itself. It made everyone want to stop and just smile because they knew that Christmas was coming.

And at that moment the snow wasn't alone in the air. No… there was someone else with it.

'All right, let's do this one last time, okay? My name is Kris Kringle. While getting ready to deliver presents to all the good little boys and girls I was bitten by a radioactive spider; and for seven years I have been the one and only Santa-Spider!'

"Shouldn't it be Spider-Santa?"

"That makes it sound like he's a Santa that's only for spiders."

"Well maybe Spiders get Christmas gifts too."

'I'm pretty sure you know the rest. I saved a bunch of people, delivered a lot of presents, married the love of my life, saved the city, delivered even more presents. I figured out how to get down chimneys without getting dirty, how to make toys that bring joy, and how to deal with everyone on the Naughty List. There is only one Santa-Spider… and you're looking at him!'

Swinging through the city of Yule York, Santa-Spider smiled under his mask as he heard people cry out in delight. He was dressed well for the cold weather, wearing his customary red and white long coat, his black boots (with thin enough soles for him to stick to walls), his red cap with white poof ball on the end, and the long white beard that honored the Kringle family attached to his mask.

"So Spider-Man wearing a santa suit, basically?"

"It would be weird if he wore a leprechaun outfit, Nate."

Landing on a building Santa-Spider tapped the side of his head, activating his comm unit. There was a small pause before he heard the voice that always made him smile.

"Kris! I was worried you'd gotten tangled up in something," his wife said.

"Don't worry, Jessica," Santa-Spider assured her. "Just doing a final swing through, passing out a few small goodies." He set his large brown sack down near his feet.

"Oh Kris," Jessica said with good natured exasperation, "its Christmas Eve! You'll be delivering presents all night! Do they really need MORE?"

"There is nothing wrong with a few extra presents now and then," Kris stated, not surprised at all that she was worried about him. It was an old argument between the two of them; almost an in-joke at the moment. It didn't matter what day it was Kris just LOVED delivering presents. Yes, Christmas Eve was his busiest day but all through out the year he liked leaving little gift for people to find. He did it in such a way that they didn't even realize it was him. "But don't worry, Jessica… I'll be home soon."

He took a moment to admire Yule York. It was a beautiful city, filled with lights and merriment. Every building was coated in Christmas lights and at night it made it glow in a hundred different colors as each building was turned into a bright illuminated present. There were wreathes all over and the smell of gingerbread and sugar cookies seemed to forever waft through the air. This was HIS city and he was happy to call it home. Even the sight of The Daily Buglemeiser, where Kris knew the Burgermeiser was demanding pictures of him, couldn't get him down on the city. Yule York was just a wonderful place to live and he-

Kris snapped his head to the right when he heard an explosion.

"Jessica, I have to go. Something is up. Don't worry, I promise that I'll be back in plenty of time to get the sleigh ready!"

"Be careful, Kris!" his wife said as he fired off a garland line-

"Hold up."

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Chris frowned as he looked over at Nathaniel. "What now? Too boring?"

"No!" Cassie declared, wiggling Miles again. "Very entertaining!" The boy let out a yawn at that. "That was a yawn of excitement!"

"Garland?" Nathaniel asked.

"Instead of weblines, yes," Chris stated.

"How does that even work. Does he store the garland in his wrists? Does his body naturally produce it?"

Chris chuckled, looking down at Gwen. "Of course not… he has a garland shooter."

"…oh. Okay, that makes sense." Nathaniel leaned back in his chair. "Carry on."

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Kris swung down and frowned as he saw that a milk truck had exploded right in the middle of 34th street. Luckily no one seemed to be hurt but it was still going to create quite a mess.

"Officer," Kris said, landing near one of the policemen that was trying to direct people away from the accident. "What happened?"

"We're not for sure. Thing just suddenly blew up. Was the darnedest thing. Hey!" He called out to a man wearing a green and black shirt who had gotten around the police tape. "Stay back sir!" The officer looked back at Kris. "Luckily the driver got out in time but that's a lot of wasted milk."

"Darn shame," Kris said.

"I said stay back!" the officer shouted at the man.

He only paused a moment when he heard him holler stop. But then suddenly he threw out his arms, sending out twin blasts of snow that sent the officer flying. Kris spun around and fired two garland lines to brace his fall before turning back to the man, whose entire body had turned into snow.

"Snowman," Kris said with a sigh. "Come on, man, you have to be doing this today?"

"All I want for Christmas is you, Santa-Spider!" the Snowman declared. He fired out more of his snowy limbs but Kris was able to dodge them easily enough. Unlike the snow falling to the ground the Snowman's fluff was the stuff of traffic accidents and wet snuffed up noses.

"Listen, if you really wanted to talk you could have sent a letter," Kris said as he leapt onto the side of a building and fired some garland at Snowman. The man merely let it fly right through him before blasting the brick surface with more snow, forcing Kris to leap away again.

"Sorry but I thought I'd come and talk to you myself. And when I let my friends now…"

Kris let out a cry of shock when strands of Christmas lights wrapped around his body.

"Deck the halls, papa noel!" Electro declared, swinging Kris across the road, causing him to smash into a mailbox. The villain, decked out in thousands of tiny twinkling lights, held out his arms as he sought to grab more Christmas lights and force them to become a part of him.

"Kraven have been looking forward to this," Kraven said and Kris winced as he saw the hunter step out of a dark alley, the cloak made from Mixer, one of the reindeer who had offered to help him deliver presents but had sadly fallen to the villain.

"Do you think we forgot how you abandoned us?" Krampus declared. He looked similar to Kris but in a black and white costume and was far more bulky and muscular. "We were partners and you cast us aside! But now… we will have the last laugh!"

"Such sights to show you…" Mysterio said, the snowglobe that was his head swirling with white particles.

And to round out the group came the final member, flying in on his custom penguin glider, wearing a purple version of the Kringle outfit. "And we are here to make this a silent night… because you'll be dead!" The Green Elf declared.

Kris shook his head as he got up. "The Naughty Six… I should have known you would try and ruin Christmas yet again."

"We aren't going to ruin it," Mysterio stated as he conjured up the illusion of children playing with Elf Gliders and Electro toys. "We're just going to remove you from the equation! Then WE'LL be able to rule Christmas!"

"Christmas isn't meant to be ruled," Kris stated. "It is a time of giving. You just want to take."

"You're right," Kraven said. "Kraven thinks he will start by taking your head!"

"Okay so we need… the entire backstory for all these guys!"

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Chris looked over the group, seeing the delight and amazement in the children's eyes and the curiosity in the adults'. Realizing there was no way out of this for him he sighed and began.

"Okay, so the Snowman is Flint Marko. But in this universe instead of becoming living sand he became living snow thanks to a magical top hat he found."

"Did he dance around?" one of the Rockets asked.

"…yes, but in a naughty way. That's why he was part of the Naughty Six."

"Doesn't really roll off the tongue, does it?" Cassie complained.

Chris ignored her. "Kraven was an arctic hunter who sought out mythical and legendary creatures to fight. Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, so on. He's now set his sights on Santa-Spider." The older of the Miles raised an eyebrow at that but finally just accepted what his father had said. "Electro… listen, it all comes up in the story, okay? Let's get back to it."

Corrosion shrugged. "Works for me. So long as it doesn't end with Ultron lifting up a giant mountain."

Ul-Tune, the DJ Ultron, merely stared at her before returning to playing Christmas Jazz.

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Kris fired a garland line at the Green Elf's glider, latching onto it as it flew by. He was jerked off his feet but he didn't mind that much as Kraven had been bearing down on him, knife in hand to try and cut him into pieces.

"Norman, you need to stop this!" Kris called out as he began to pull himself closer and closer to his foe. "It isn't right!"

"What isn't right is that they allowed YOU to be part of the Kringle family but I was left behind!" Norman snarled. "I should have been a Kringle, instead of an Osborn! And I will prove they made a mistake by destroying you!" He pulled out an Ornament Bomb and threw it at Kris, forcing the hero to let go of the garland bline. He tried to grab onto a flagpole on the side of a building but Electro was ready for that and fired out Christmas lights that wrapped around him; the electricity-loving villain slammed him back down to the ground, Kris groaning.

"Going somewhere?" Electro taunted, holding out his hand and ripping more Christmas lights off a building. The villain loved lights; it was said that as a child he had stared at his Christmas tree far too long and it had driven him mad, believing he was a Christmas Light that had somehow become separated from the rest of the string and he now fought to return to his 'family'. Kris groaned but managed to snap the Christmas lights, freeing himself only for Mysterio to fire off illusions of sugar plum fairies to attack him. Kris forced himself to ignore the little winged sprites, knowing they weren't real, and instead focused on getting to the villains that were threatening Christmas.

Mysterio… well, Kris wasn't exactly sure WHY he did anything he did.

"I'd complain about that but that is true for every other Mysterio we've run into."

Kris grabbed onto some of the Christmas light strings and hurled them at the Snowman, there being JUST enough charge left in them to shock the villain and cause him to fall to the ground. That settled he moved to confront Kraven, who was watching him with an intense gaze.

"Kraven has been waiting for this moment," Kraven told him. "Kraven has done all Kraven's research. Kraven knows how to instantly identify you. Kraven can hear at once the reindeer paws that signal old Santa Claus."

"Reindeer don't have paws," Kris pointed out.

"Pardon."

"Reindeer have hooves, not paws." He tilted his head. "You're not that good of a hunter, are you?"

Kraven just glowered at him before rushing forward, trying to slash opening Kris' belly. But Santa-Spider's Santa Sense tingled, warning him of the move and giving him the time to leap back and avoid the blow. Kraven snarled and moved to attack again and once more Kris dodged. Back and forth the two danced, Kris working to avoid all of Kraven's swings, focusing on the villain-

And that's when Krampus grabbed him with a tendril and dragged him towards him.

"I think its time we came together again," Krampus said, opening his mouth wide-

"Krampus wouldn't hurt Santa-Spider!"

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Chris blinked and looked down at one of the baby Rockets who was shooting him an adorable little glare.

"What was that, buddy?"

"Krampus has a symbiote!" the little raccoon declared. "He should be friends with Santa-Spider!"

"Yeah!" Gwen declared with a firm nod. "Why would a symbiote fight with a spider, daddy?"

"Yeah, daddy?" Corrosion said with a smirk. "Why would a symbiote fight with a Spider?"

"…"

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

"Are you ready to end this?" Krampus asked, tongue lulling out of his mouth, licking his lips.

"I thought you'd never ask," Kris said.

At once Krampus dropped him, firing off tendrils at the Green Elf and yanking him off his glider while Santa-Spider went after Mysterio, firing off a garland line to help assist in giving him a swinging kick that sent the villain reeling.

"Traitor!" Mysterio declared.

"Not at all!" Krampus said with a leer. "I am dedicated to punishing the wicked on Christmas… why would you think I would EVER side with you!" He looked over at Kris and gave him a thumbs up. "Side by side with my best friend Santa-Spider? We are the greatest holiday team ever!"

Kris nodded right back. "As if I would ever come to blows with Krampus! While I wasn't the right host for his symbiote I made sure that he had a good home!"

"Laying it on a bit thick there, huh?"

"Shut up."

Krampus launched himself at the Green Elf, punching him so hard in the stomach at the green and purple clad figured folded right in half. "Do you know why the Kringles never made you a part of their family?" the symbiote asked as he grabbed the Green Elf by the throat, hoisting him up. "Because you don't understand the season."

"And... and you do?" the Green Elf got out.

That caused Krampus to laugh. "See, that is why you believed we would work with you. You think that we are evil and hate Christmas. We do not. We merely wish to ensure that those that have done wrong and refuse to learn from their mistakes realize that there is someone out there that knows of their naughtiness and refuses to allow them to get away with it. So that those that are truly nice, deserving of Santa's rewards, do not need to worry about the naughty harming them. The Naughty… like you."

And with that he threw the Green Elf into an empty dumpster, firing off black garland to lock it up tight and keep the villain from escaping.

"Kraven will put your head on Kraven's wall!" Kraven declared.

"Come on, why would you want that?" Kris asked. "I doubt my mug would be a conversation starter!"

"Do you know that even now there are still plenty who don't believe you to be real?" Kraven asked him as he managed to wrap Kris up, locking his arms around the hero. He began to squeeze, causing the hero to gasp."They mocked Kraven when he said there was a Santa Claus... but with you as Kraven's trophy it will be Kraven who has the last laugh!"

But Kris squirmed in his grasp before kicking out with his foot, stomping on the hunter's foot and causing him to yowl in pain. "See, that's what you don't get," Kris told him as he spun around and drove his fist right into Kraven's face, knocking him down to the ground. "It doesn't matter if others believe... what matters is that YOU believe! That is the magic of Christmas!" He leapt onto a traffic light and fired garland at Kraven, wrapping him up before yanking him off his feet so that he was dangling in the air, kicking his legs.

"Then let us talk about the magic of Christmas!" Mysterio declared as he summoned illusions of chains to try and wrap the two heroes up. But Krampus and Kris merely powered through them, unleashing a flurry of punches that took him down.

"The magic of Christmas is making the impossible possible… not cheap gimmicks," Kris said. "We know in our hearts that a reindeer shouldn't be able to fly… but the power of Christmas allows us to believe that they can. And when we believe that… the impossible becomes a reality."

"It is why you will never be able to defeat us!" Krampus declared. "You do not truly believe you can!" Kris and Krampus gave a one-two punch that had Mysterio out for the count. With Snowman down thanks to Electro's Christmas lights and bulb villain too busy mourning his broken 'family members' to stop the two from tying him up, the villains suddenly found their rampage at an end. The Naughty Six, now the Naughty Five, were tied up in garland and ready to be passed off to the police. Krampus headed off to finish his holiday shopping while Kris began to swing back home, wanting to get changed so he could begin delivering presents to all the good little boys and girls.

'The Kringles and Jessica should have my bags all ready and the reindeer will be chomping at the bit to get flying,' Kris thought to himself. 'And with the Naughty Five taken care of there is nothing that could ruin this year's Christmas!'

"And he jinxed himself."

But as Kris swung through the city he spotted an odd energy distortion appear and quickly swung down towards Central Park. "Now what could this be?" he murmured as he watched the strange swirling vortex take form. "Something tells me that this isn't the Northern Lights..."

"No, it isn't," a voice said and Kris watched as a rather large man in a mostly blue suit (with some red highlights) stepped through the portal, touching his wrist and causing it to close. "My name is Miguel O'Hara and-"

"BOO!"

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Chris couldn't help but smile as his kids began to boo and jeer the mere mention of Miguel. Not because he liked seeing them hate someone… as much as he loathed Miguel Chris was very careful that his kids never saw him rant and rave about the Spider Society. He'd also made it clear to all the Avengers that they were to be careful what they said when around his kids. He'd suggested as much to Corrosion when her and her symbiote had begun adopting Rockets; they had plenty of anger at the High Evolutionary and what he had done to them. But… Chris had stressed to the young woman that she shouldn't let her kids fall into such thoughts and feelings. Because no parent wanted to see their child hate.

No, the reason he was smiling was because them playfully booing Miguel showed that they were finally healing.

For months Miguel O'Hara had been the boogeyman for his kids. Though only Miles G had been there when Jessica Drew and her Gwen had shown up trying to take Miles G back to his dimension… Miguel HAD burst in while the kids had been playing a game (a new one that they'd only tried once because Miguel, despite Chirs trying to get them to start it again because he had been able to tell they were having fun) and scared them all. Nightmares, separation anxiety, triggers… all of it had come to them and Chris and the rest of the Avengers… the rest of his FAMILY… had worked hard to try and fix things for them.

So them being able to giggle and laugh as they booed Miguel?

It was a Christmas miracle.

"He's a poopie!" Gwen said before covering her mouth and looking at Chris, worried she'd get in trouble for swearing.

"I think," Corrosion said, "just for tonight… we can allow for that." She shot a glance at Ben, who was the worst of the five kids when it came to swearing. "But that is the most."

"Poopie!" Cassie made Baby Miles cry out.

That got the kids all giggling and laughing and Chris smiled before he continued on…

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

"My name is Miguel O'Hara and I am here to talk to you about a danger to your entire world."

Kris nodded, looking the new arrival over. "Well, I would be happy to hear any information you can provide! It is important for me to protect the people of this world… I might enjoy giving out presents but I am also a defender of the innocent! Ho ho ho!"

Miguel… just stared at Santa-Spider.

"…that isn't just a one time costume you are wearing, is it?"

"No. This is my costume I wear every day!" Kris held out his arms so that Miguel could better see his outfit.

That caused the new arrival to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I am so going to kill Lyla for this…" Shaking his head Miguel continued on. "Listen… I am also Spider-Man, same as you-"

"Spider-Man?" Kris asked. "I am not Spider-Man. I am Santa-Spider."

"Of course you are," Miguel muttered. "The point is that I have similar powers like you. There is an entire multiverse of Spider-People out there."

"Oh! Like a Spider-Easter Bunny."

Miguel stared at Santa-Spider before looking skyward and counting to ten before continuing on. "Sure, let's go with that. The point is that there is a multiverse of Spiders… the Spiderverse. You are a part of it. I am the leader of a group called the Spider Society who have set about protecting the Multiverse… and I have detected dangers to your world. You are about to cause a canon event to not happen and if that continues on it could lead to the total destruction of your universe."

Kris frowned. "Well, that sounds like a toughie."

"…yes, a 'toughie'," Miguel muttered.

"So, what are 'canon events'?"

"Canon events are things that must happen to every Spider. They are universal constants. For example… you lost your uncle, didn't you?"

"I don't have an uncle."

"So the lose of-wait, what?"

"I don't have an uncle. I was raised by the Kringles and we never really got into terms for the family members. I mean, I suppose you could technically call one of them my uncle but is that fair to make one of them my father and the others my uncles when all of them took equal turns in raising me?"

Miguel stared at him for a very long moment before touching his neck, causing his mask to slide away. "Okay… yeah that is… very complex."

"I suppose you don't understand the complexities of large families and how all can take a part in raising children."

"…listen, I already got the speech about extended families from Spider-Bruno, I don't need it from you."

"We don't talk about Bruno!"

"That's right Gwen, we don't."

Miguel shook his head. "Listen, one of them must have died and that one is your uncle-"

"All the Kringles are still alive."

That made the other Spider-Person groan. "Okay… do you have ANYONE in your life whose died?" Kris shook his head. "Went away?"

"Well… the Winter Warlock recently decided to leave to explore the rest of the world-"

"Great, he's dead then."

"I… don't think he's dead. He sent me a postcard last week. He's traveling with a girl and a shapeshifting cat named Cake-"

"Nope, he's dead," Miguel said hurriedly. "Dead and gone forever. That's your first canon event."

Kris tilted his head, not quite sure if he understood that logic but deciding to hear the other Spider out; he was very big, after all.

"The second canon event is the death of your first love."

"But Jessica is fine," Kris stated.

"I know that you-" Once more Miguel paused.

"This is not a good day for him."

"You want him to have a good day?"

"Hel… er… heck no."

"Jessica?" Miguel asked.

"My wife," Kris said with a smile.

"You… have a wife." Kris merely nodded. "Can I see a picture of her?" Kris shrugged and pulled out a Polaroid from his pocket, handing it over. "Yeah, that's a Mary Jane if I've ever seen one."

"Her name is Jessica."

Miguel though shook his head. "This is a Mary Jane. It's the red hair. Which means you must have had a first love who tragically died."

"Nope," Kris said. "Jessica and I met when I was passing out gifts to all the children in Sombertown. We fell in love and eventually were married on Christmas Eve."

"There… is no one else in your life?"

Kris gave a helpless shrug. "No, sorry. Not in that sense at least."

"No Gwen?"

"Sorry," Kris said. "I deliver lots of gifts to Gwens but I never loved a Gwen like I do Jessica."

"Gifts for me?!"

"That's right, Gwen… gifts for you. And Peter and Miles and Ben. But shhh, let me finish the story."

Miguel grit his teeth at that. "You mean you had no one in your life before Mary… Jessica?"

"Well, there was Popper. But he's a penguin."

"And you… uh… cared for this pen-gwen?"

"Why are you saying it like that?"

"No reason. You cared for them?"

"Well… yes, just as I care for all animals-"

"You know I always did think Miguel looked like someone who liked to sneak onto cattle ranches and try and-"

"Nathaniel, SHHHH!"

"Great. So you see how canon events are important. I've learned that in your last fight the captain of the local police was supposed to die… but you just prevented that."

"Oh? Well, that's really good, isn't it! I managed to protect that dear man and make sure he was safe!"

But Miguel shook his head. "No… no that isn't good."

"It isn't good that I saved a man's life?" Santa-Spider shook his head. "Now see here, young fella, I don't think you understand how being a hero is supposed to be."

"Preach Santa-Spider, preach"

"You don't understand," Miguel said firmly. "One of the canon events is the death of a captain."

"That doesn't sound very nice at all."

"Listen, canon events aren't supposed to be nice!" Miguel snapped. "They are things that happen to all spider people and you are now risking your world because you saved that man!"

Kris though gave a soft chuckle. "Young man… if a world demands that innocent die then it is a world that doesn't deserve to exist."

"All words deserve to exist," Miguel said. "And for that reason we work to ensure that canon events happen. And now I need to figure out a way to make sure-"

"That the captain dies?" Kris asked, shaking his head. "No… I'm afraid you have it all wrong there, sonny." He took a breath before launching into his speech. "Canon events… they sound to me like you trying to explain why bad things happen. Now, I don't know why bad things happen. I wish they didn't. I wish that every good little boy and girl only knew happiness. But they don't. Sadly bad things will happen to them. That is what makes Christmas so important. It is the one day where we can give children all over the world a bit of happiness. Hopefully make them forget about the bad and focus on the good.

"It seems to me that you know a lot about bad. That you've had your fair share of it. And for that I am sorry. But don't you think that it is a bit much to demand that everyone knew sadness? Me personally? I know I've had bad moments in my life. But rather than focus on them I've decided to use them as fuel to try make sure no one else knows them."

"But that's why the police captain must die," Miguel argued. "To teach you a lesson."

"And what lesson is that?" Kris asked with a chuckle. "That people die? I know that, sonny… everyone knows that. It's a sad fact of life. But it seems rather cruel to kill an innocent man just to reinforce it. After all, it wouldn't just be me that was affect. That captain's family… their parents, their spouses, their children, their friends… all of them would suffer as well. Is it right to say that you should lose someone you love just to teach a hero a lesson?"

"Santa dropping truth bombs."

"I tried to make a truth bomb once."

"Yes Rocket, we know. We're still cleaning up the glitter."

"you just don't get it!" Miguel complained. "Canon events are important!"

But Kris merely shook his head. "No… what I think is that canon events are important to you because you've forced them to have importance. Because they allow you to live your life. They give explanation to why things are the way they are. But sometimes good things happen… just because they happen. Sometimes bad things happen because they happen. The trick to life is to accept the good, work to get past the bad, and not let the latter poison your heart. It reminds me of when I first got started in this business. The bugermeiser banned all toys from Sombertown because he got hurt by one. But that was placing too much power on the toys. One might have caused that incident but it didn't mean all toys were to blame. Just like how you might lose someone in one reality… but that doesn't mean that all realities must have that person lost. The multiverse… its infinite possibilities, yes? Well that means that there are infinite worlds where canon events don't matter. If that isn't true then that means the multiverse isn't infinite and doesn't work like you believe. Doesn't it make more sense that you simply have come to believe in something that isn't real?"

Miguel was silent.

"…so are we going to let that captain die or what?"

Kris just stared Miguel down… before firing garland at him, wrapping him up tight before he could do anything else.

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

"And that kids is the story of how Santa-Spider defeated the mean Miguel O'Hara and saved Christmas!"

Alec frowned. "Uh, I don't think that Christmas was-ow!" He glared at Corrosion who had elbowed him. "Rude!"

"I liked that story," Gwen said before letting out a yawn.

"I'm glad," Chris said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "Now then, its time for all of you to head to bed. Up, up!" The kids all groaned but considering how they were blinking their eyes and barely able to keep their heads from drooping it was a moot point and soon Chris and the Avengers were leading the little ones to bed.

"So…" Cassie asked, placing Baby Miles in his crib, "how much of that story was fake?"

"Considering the multiverse is infinite possibilities?" Chris asked with a smirk.

"You don't get to use that as an excuse."

"Watch me."

~MC~FL~MC~FL~

Jessica Drew frowned as she stared at the moaning Miguel. "He shoved how much coal up his-"

"Yeah, gonna stop ya there," Lyla said, popping up next to her. "Hey boss, try and clench to make a diamond!"

Merry Christmas To Everyone

Except Canon-Supporting Bastards Like Miguel O'Hara!