10/26/18
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans
….
My heart pounds as I slink through the shadows. I can hear the laughter of the Titans from across the street, signaling that we have the right place after all. Mentally, I go over the details Headmistress shared with us about their powers. There isn't anything too special to worry about, my only concern being the similarities between my powers and Raven's. A part of me almost wonders if she received them the way I did…
Mammoth's voice booms through the comm link, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Mammoth to Jinx, I'm in position."
I smile in relief. Mammoth had to sneak past a few police officers to make it to his spot. We didn't plan on the Titans being here this early. Initially, we were going to wait here until they were fatigued from taking down another criminal, as they had the tendency to go to the same pizza restaurant after most arrests. However, when our trackers revealed they showed up sooner than planned, we decided to go ahead and make our attack.
"Jinx to Mammoth, good work. Stay where you are until Gizmo gives the signal. We can't risk any slip ups. There's too much relying on our success today."
Gizmo scoffs. "Big deal, soon enough this'll be an everyday operation for us. Besides, these pit-sniffing Teen Titans don't stand a chance. What could possibly go wrong?"
….
Gizmo should've kept his mouth shut.
"I hope you understand that I am severely disappointed in all of you. Such failure will not be tolerated."
I hang my head in defeat. "Yes, Headmistress."
She looks at me directly, and my heart clenches in shame. "Especially you, Jinx. Over the years I've come to expect better out of you. I'm ashamed to say you were my top student."
Tears prickle at the edges of my eyes, but I dare not let them fall. My instincts scream for me to blink them away. The weak do not survive. Only the strong will make it in the end, and Headmistress will not accept anything less.
"I'll do better next time," I promise, pushing away the ache in my heart.
Headmistress nods coldly. "I'm aware of that. However, until you can make good on your word you will remain at the Academy. I refuse to send such incompetence to the field."
Words fail as I bow my head respectfully. How can we ever recover from this?
"Yes Headmistress," Mammoth says solemnly. I can't imagine how hard this is for him. After he was held back so many times from the Junior HIVE Academy, he was so excited to graduate at a normal pace this time. All he could talk about was how excited he was to show his crush-turned-oppressor how much he changed. Now it seems like he'll never get to rub his achievements in Sarah's snobby face.
Headmistress stares at us analytically, as though solving a puzzle. "You are dismissed."
"Yes Headmistress."
I push the office door, holding it open for Gizmo and Mammoth. The door swings shut as I walk down the familiar halls of the Junior HIVE Academy. My team remains silent until we reach the cafeteria exit.
"Jinx?" Mammoth asks weakly. "Do we need to go to practice?"
"Not today," I whisper.
Gizmo crosses his arms impatiently. "But it's almost three! Don't we need to-"
Tears well up in my eyes as reality comes crashing down. I squint my eyes shut, turning my head before Gizmo and Mammoth can see me cry. I can't disappoint them. Not again.
"I said not today!" I snap.
Gizmo flinches, managing to squeak out a "Yes Ma'am," before he flees the scene. Mammoth hesitates, gently laying his hand on my shoulder.
I glance up at the older meta. The disappointed look on his face makes my heart shatter. Why wasn't I good enough? If I didn't need my team, we would still be preparing to graduate in December with everyone else. Gizmo would've been fine on his own. Mammoth would've been fine on his own. But without them, I'm just a failure.
Maybe that's why I so desperately wanted to be the one to lead this team. I guess I thought being in charge would cement my spot before my friends could realize just how terrible I was. My own parents didn't even want me. How could anyone want me unless they thought they needed me?
"I'm sorry Mal."
The name catches me off guard. I bite my lip, shaking my head. Just as Linda died the day she was kidnapped, Mallory died the night I graduated from the HIVE. At least, that's the way it's supposed to be. Using our old names, verbally at least, is grounds for suspension. Mammoth knows this.
"It's not your fault, Mammoth. Just… just go. Please."
Reluctantly, he lets go of my shoulder. We part ways without another word.
I take the trek back to my room slowly. The weight on my heart grows heavier with every step, and it takes all my strength to keep from collapsing in the middle of the hallway. My pride may be bruised, but if I'm being honest that's not what hurts the worst. No, it's the fact that I disappointed everyone. The Headmistress was counting on me, and I failed. Gizmo and Mammoth must hate me now. They'll probably start looking for a new leader the moment they get over the shock of being held back. As much as I hate the idea, it's time to face the music. I'm replaceable. That's all there is to it.
With a heavy sigh, I push open the door to my dorm. The empty room greets me, the silence beckoning me to fill the atmosphere with the sounds of my sobbing. I resist, hanging my backpack on my bedpost and sluggishly pulling out my sketchbook. A distraction. That's all I need.
When I was younger, cheetahs were my favorite animal. I loved how free they were, sprinting across the savannah without a care in the world. Sure, their species will probably be extinct soon thanks to the idiocy of humanity, but coloring pages and bedtime stories don't tell you these things. As I grew older, however, I began to appreciate the unicorn. Maybe it was Clover's doing, maybe not. Either way, I was captivated by their majesty, and most of all what they represented. Unicorns are pure. They never disappoint the ones they love, because they haven't been ruined by the world. For the little girl whose life was marred by failure, they were an escape.
The drawings were bad at first- disproportionate, technicolor messes. I didn't care, and soon enough I didn't need to. The more I drew, the better they got. Before I knew it, unicorns were my focal point. 90% of my sketchbook is probably filled of unicorns. It's a little embarrassing, especially explaining the reasoning behind it, so I've never shown anyone. But even so, they've always been there to take away the pain for me.
As I begin to sketch on the blank page, my eyelids grow heavy. I haven't slept in the past few days, as I've been too worried about the mission. Combined with the mental exhaustion from fighting back my tears, it's hard to stay awake.
When I succumb to the release of sleep, I regret it.
I open my eyes, finding myself in a field of white flowers. Bright green weeds spring up between patches, swaying in the breeze. It smells like my yard did after my foster father mowed. I close my eyes and relax as the memories overtake me. Should you be able to smell in dreams? I don't think that's possible. It's never happened to me before.
My eyes snap open, and I immediately feel uneasy. This feels too real. Yet unlike my other dreams that feel this way, the boy isn't here. I begin to search frantically for him, but to no avail. Panic sets in, though I don't know why. He's not real- merely a figment of my imagination. Yet I feel like a part of my soul has been ripped out of my body. Something isn't right. I need to find him.
Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream echoes through the air. My blood turns cold. The scream is unfamiliar, yet too familiar. My heart starts pounding, and I instinctively know which way to run. After a few minutes, the flowers in front of me flatten like dominoes, creating a path. I run, knowing only that the boy is in trouble. I don't know why I care, but I do. I care so badly.
The path leads me to a house, one that I know all too well. It was the house I woke up in that fateful day when the witch kidnapped me. It was the house where I was reborn. Fear begins to creep into my heart, but I shove it away. I won't let her hurt anyone else!
With a running start, I push open the door and stumble into the living room. Tied to a table with rope, lying in the center of the room, is the boy. Tears fall down his face, and when he sees me he begins to thrash about.
"Stop! It's a trap!"
I jump forward, desperate to free him, but it's too late. As I reach his side, the boy disappears in a puff of blue smoke.
…
Um… yeah… hey guys. Sorry this took so long. Hopefully I'm back for good this time. I just needed a little hiatus to get my life together. Thanks for understanding!
I'm excited to write these next few chapters. We'll be diving a bit deeper into Jinx's past, but not deep enough to get all the answers. Hopefully I'll have time to do the research before NaNoWriMo starts next week O_O
Nomnomthegreat, thank you so much for your review! Your comments are always so sweet. Don't worry, things are much better now. Not perfect, but better. And I totally understand about the strict parents. I know parents (usually) just want what's best for you, but sometimes it can be frustrating.
Silver-Infinite, it'll certainly be interesting to say the least. You'll see what's going on soon enough ; )
Shiranai Atsune and Loftcat27, thanks for the reviews :)
Hyphen101, thanks for the input! I've went back and forth on what events to include and what to skip over. I feel like some events from the show (certain chunks of Lightspeed and Deception, mainly) need to be included, but otherwise I'll probably take your advice.
Quote of the day!
"Has anyone seen a southern gentleman carrying a building?" -Scott Lang, Ant Man and The Wasp
May the odds be ever in your favor,
Spectrobes Princess