A/N: STELLARLUNE SPOILERS AHEAD. I cannot stress this enough.
This is chapter 42 of Sterllarlune from Keefe's POV.
Well, flying through the void had been a colossal waste of time.
Not that he was disappointed he'd done it, he was glad to have something to do. He felt terrible watching Sophie go to school every day with all her meetings and plans while he just sat around and trained with Grady. He wanted to be useful and he wanted to help her. Anything he could do to make it up to her.
Plus, flying on an alicorn was super fun. Even if Silveny kept chanting KEEFE! FRIEND! JERK!
Giving up, he led Silveny out of the void and back to the Panakes tree. As they moved closer, he noticed Sophie dozing peacefully beneath it. His heart fluttered, it had been a long time since he'd seen her so peaceful. Everything was in turmoil when he left, and she had seemed agitated around him since he'd returned. It frustrated him to no end that he couldn't really tell what she was feeling.
But why was she here? Was she waiting up for him?
The sound of them approaching must have woken her up as she jerked awake and stumbled to her feet as he landed.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, hopping off the alicorn and walking towards her. He really hoped she didn't have more bad news, she deserved some good news.
She nodded, "Yeah, I was just . . . waiting for you-and I was starting to think you weren't coming back."
Oof, well I guess I deserve that. He thought to himself, even if her tone of voice had sounded calm. Unable to look her in the eyes, he played with the edge of his cape.
"Sorry. I wanted to see what would happen if I had Silveny fly me around in the void while I talked in my mom's voice. I thought maybe if I managed to say at least a couple of the right words while I was in there, whatever she hid would come crashing towards me."
She raised her eyebrows, "Did it work?"
"Not particularly. And in case you were wondering, the void never gets any more exciting. It's just darkness and more darkness-and oh, hey, even more darkness! I'm sure Tammy Boy would love it, but man, I'm glad to see color again."
Especially when I get to see her, he thought, admiring her vibrant red tunic. Every year he swore she became more and more beautiful, no longer fidgeting in the foreign clothing but confident and comfortable with herself. He quickly glanced away, worried he'd looked too long.
"You could have taken me with you, you know. Or at least left me another note telling me where you went."
He froze. She seemed surprised by her own words, stunned as well, almost as if she had forgotten they hadn't talked about his letter to her or the things he had admitted to.
He chewed his lower lip, being around her right now without being able to read her emotions was killing him. He never really learned the nuances of reading people when it came to important feelings like this. He had always been able to touch them somehow, brush against them or 'accidentally' bump into them, when he needed to know. Of course, before recently, he had always been able to tell what Sophie had felt and he wished more than anything he knew what she was feeling right now. Was she angry, hurt, or confused? He didn't know. It wasn't fair that he had always known what she had felt and she never really knew his feelings, not in words that is.
Until now. Until that note.
He nervously raked his hand through his hair.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" she asked him, almost sounding nervous.
That couldn't be right. What did she have to be nervous about?
He agreed, nodding his head and following her lead through the pastures.
"Are we heading anywhere in particular?"
"Not really. I just need to move. I've been stuck in one place for way too long."
He smiled, remembering her sleeping face under the tree. Suddenly, it inspired him.
"I know the feeling. And if you don't have a specific spot in mind, then follow me-I found the coolest place the other night after training with Grady."
His heart was beating rapidly now, excited to show her around. To be able to have this time with her. Leading her into the Grove he pointed out the different trees he tried sleeping in when he had arrived. He thought she looked impressed after seeing his favorite with the glowworms covering the walls.
"Sounds amazing," she said, though something about the worms had definitely creeped her out. He skipped the idea of bringing her to the other tree by the stream with more of the glowworms and decided to bring her straight to the clearing instead.
Suddenly, he felt her full weight crash into his turned back and her hands gripped his shoulders to regain her balance. She must have tripped.
He wanted to smile but knew she would take offense to his humor in her clumsiness.
"You okay? Did you hurt your ankle?"
Maybe he would need to carry her back, he thought as he looked down to see if her ankle was swollen. The idea of holding Sophie in his arms almost made him blush.
"No. Just..uh...getting my bearings."
She was still gripping his shoulders, almost as if she took as much comfort in being near him as he did her. Maybe...
"Will this help?" he asked, shifting their positions so he could take her hand and walk beside her. He knew this provided no logical help but he couldn't stop himself from pretending it would.
She didn't answer for a moment but he thought she looked excited by the change.
"It's so weird," she said quietly as if thinking aloud. "I'm so used to having you feeling everything I'm feeling. It's strange not having you call me out on it all the time."
Yes! He wanted to scream.
"Tell me about it," he grumbled, not wanting to sound excited that she had noticed things about him too.
"Sorry-I didn't mean-"
"It's okay, Foster. I know what you meant. And just so you know, I can still pick up on certain things-especially from you. Pretty sure your emotions will always be stronger than everyone else's." It had been a relief when Sophie had come to the hotel and she hadn't felt as empty as the other elves around him. As much as it sucked to lose control of his ability to feel others, he thought he would've broken a little if he hadn't been able to feel her at all anymore. Her absence was devastating, even if he had encouraged it.
"Really?" she asked, sounding like she liked that she was different to him.
What a change from when they first met in that hallway.
He nodded and when she smiled he knew he would do anything to keep that smile on her face. She rarely smiled anymore and he knew part of that was his fault.
"I just...wish I could go back to how it used to be. It's hard not getting the whole picture. Makes me not want to trust anything I'm feeling-if that makes sense."
Like was she happy to be here with him or was she just enjoying being with a friend? He couldn't tell anymore.
The light in her eyes told him she understood and a small part of him wondered if maybe his letter had changed things between them and maybe it wasn't all bad.
"Here we go," he said, satisfied that they had made it to the Glade, and guided her into the clearing.
She looked genuinely stunned, "Oh wow." She admired the trees and the vines along with the different colored toadstools. He could watch her for hours.
"Did you know this place existed?"
She shook her head, still looking at the canopy, "Flori mentioned it-but I haven't had a chance to go looking for it. She was trying to convince Sandor to bring Grizel here for a date, since it's so romantic."
Suddenly her hand went still as he almost froze at her words. He had thought the place was beautiful and he knew bringing her here was somewhat romantic, but they still hadn't touched upon his letter.
She closed her eyes, "I'm glad I got to come here with you. Even if it was kind of an accident."
He sucked in a breath-was she saying what he thought she was saying?
"I know you said you got over a bunch of things after you left the Lost Cities, and I'm sure that probably includes the stuff you told me in your note. And I know you said you're not looking for a relationship right now-and I get it."
He wanted to go back in time and punch himself in the face.
"But...it makes me a little sad."
Punch himself twice.
"Mostly because it means I missed my chance to be with this really incredible guy who makes me laugh and always finds ways to be there for me when I need him. And that's fine. It's my fault-"
As if anything could ever be her fault.
"I'm not trying to guilt you into liking me again. I just felt like you should know why I might get a little awkward around you right now. I'm trying to figure out how to go back to only seeing you as a friend, and it's not easy, because I'd just started realizing how much I care about you."
Her eyes were squeezed shut still and he was thankful that she couldn't see his jaw hitting the floor. His mind was whirling at a thousand thoughts a second but mostly it was just-
SHE LIKES ME, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKES ME.
"Sophie," he whispered softly, as if afraid that once he spoke the dream would be over.
She stood nervously in front of him, eyes still screwed shut.
If only she knew.
"Sophie!"
She slowly opened her eyes and he looked at this girl in front of him, this woman who had come into his life and saved every good part of him. The only person who cared for him like he mattered, like he would always matter. The woman he had loved from afar because she had loved someone else, and he would give her anything she wanted.
And now she wanted him.
"You realize that if we do this..it could get very messy."
He had dared to dream of this reality before, especially during those lonely nights in the Forbidden Cities, and knew every consequence of his loving her. It had helped him stay away from her, the thought that he was doing what was best for her.
But now her she was. And she wanted HIM.
She looked away, hurt, and he wanted to erase those words.
"Because I'm unmatchable."
Of course! Fitz's face flashed through his mind. He would have to deal with Fitz later, but first, he had to make this very clear.
"No-the Council can feed their match lists to the gorgodon for all I care. But.. I wasn't lying when I said my mom will try to use anyone I care about to hurt me."
"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I'm already at the top of your mom's list of targets. And I'm ready for her." She patted the holster of her dagger.
God, he was in love with this woman.
Catching her hand before she returned it to her side, "That might not be enough to stop her."
She agreed, "It might not, but I'm not afraid of her. And I'm not going to let her control my life. So if she is the only reason-"
"I think we both know she's not," he murmured. But her determination had given him hope. He stepped closer to her, wanting this conversation out of the way so he could be totally honest with her, "Would you like me to list off all the complications?"
She shook her head. Maybe she already knew. Maybe, just like him, she had weighed the pros and cons and came to her own conclusion about them. Maybe she didn't care about the complications.
"All I care about is how you feel, if you're only doing this," she held up their clasped hands, "because you don't want to hurt my feelings-"
Couldn't she see how much he loved her?
He intertwined their fingers, shaking his head, "Trust me-this is what I've wanted from the moment I first saw you, wandering through the halls in the middle of session covered in alchemy goo. I knew right away that I'd just met someone incredibly special-and every minute I've spent with you since then had proven how true that is. But is this what you want?" He squeezed her hand, he was shaking with the truth of his statement. "I can't tell what you're feeling - and it's seriously terrifying."
She looked like she was at a loss for words and a part of him wondered if he had scared her with his admittance.
But then she leaned forward, looking him in the eyes, and moved her mouth above his, not quite touching.
An invitation.
One he could never deny.
He pressed his lips against hers, softly and carefully. She felt delicate even if he knew she wasn't and he wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever. He brought one hand to her waist and pulled her against him, deepening the kiss. She responded enthusiastically and he wondered if an elf had even died from too much joy.
When he did finally pull away, leaning back to study her in the shimmering light, he couldn't believe what had just happened.
"You're okay, right? No regrets?" He needed to know if she felt as amazing as he did.
"Absolutely none." She grinned.
He smiled in relief and he leaned his forehead against her. He momentarily thought back to when he first met her, a full head taller than she was then, and realized that they were somewhat closer in height now. How far they had come during those many years of him pinning his love away for her.
"I don't want to mess this up." He whispered, hypocritically placing another responsibility on her shoulders. "Please don't let me mess this up."
"I won't," she promised, tilting her chin up to kiss him again.
But someone cleared their throat and all Keefe could think as they flung themselves apart was: Grady's going to kill me now. I kissed his daughter and now he's going to kill me. At least I knew she liked me.
When he saw that it was Flori instead, he almost thanked the universe for letting him live but realized he would, at some point, have to tell Grady.
He watched Sophie as she talked to Flori about someone visiting her house. She tugged at her hair and wiped her mouth. He wanted to laugh, she looked perfectly normal aside from the caught-in-the-act look in her eyes.
"Yeah. Um. Thanks," Sophie said, flushing as she glanced at him.
He smirked but he knew he looked stunned too, it suddenly dawned on him that he got to kiss Sophie.
And that he would be able to keep kissing Sophie. Because Sophie wanted to kiss him.
Keefe knew better than to walk alongside Sophie as Flori led them to the house. Sophie needed to tell her family first, and they needed to figure out how to deal with the other complications in their lives. Complications that didn't matter when they were alone but mattered a lot more when they were in the company of others.
"Fitz?" Sophie asked, almost in a gasp, when they finally ented the house. "What are you doing here?"
Complications like that. His previous best friend, the guy who dated her first- or had they really dated? The guy whose dad asked Keefe to stay away from Sophie. The guy who made her cry. The guy who made her doubt anyone could love her as an unmatchable.
As much as he wanted to fight this fight for Sophie, he knew it was hers to fight. He knew that she needed to do this at her own pace, and she told him she liked him. She kissed him. Nothing meant more to him than her, so he would do whatever she needed to do.
Besides, he was a little grateful for the teal-eyed boy in front of him. It was, after all, Fitz who brought her to him.
A/N: That's the end of the chapter, let me know if you guys like the idea of reading the other side or if it's boring to read the same scene again.
Stellarlune really was a win for all the SoKeefe fans, wasn't it? Shoutout to Shannon.