She stared off into space watching the cars go by. The smog that clung to the air burned her throat, another reminder that she didn't belong. But the street was familiar and the sidewalk still had the crack she had tripped over when she was little.
The house was dull, the old paint had started to chip and the lawn looked like it hadn't been cut in a while. The trees had grown a little taller and the neighbors across the street had moved away.
A familiar part of her ached and she was starting to wonder if that would ever go away. Would it always be this hard to think of her family? Would it always make her wish she could live in the past?
Would she ever really feel like she was content with where she was, or would she just keep wishing for a life she would never have?
There always seemed to be this loneliness that followed her, no matter how she tried to reason with her heart to allow her peace. Her family was safe. Out of harm's way.
And yet that wasn't enough.
She sighed into her hands, trying to get a handle on her emotions.
The air in front of her shimmered.
Keefe appeared, standing with his arm out and a blue crystal raised in his hand. His eyes were concerned until they landed on her.
Relief visibly washed over him and he walked towards her.
"Keefe?" she murmured in surprise. She hadn't been gone long, and while taking an escapade to a forbidden territory was not the most legal thing she had done in a while, she hadn't expected anyone to notice her momentary absence so quickly.
"Sophie!" he smiled, "I found you!"
His relief paused as he saw her obvious discomfort and he stopped walking. Glancing around he seemed to notice exactly where they were.
"Sophie, is this your old house?" he wondered aloud, concern mixed with curiosity behind his voice.
She gave him a shaky nod, "It was."
He must have heard the grief in her voice, or maybe he could feel it from across the yard.
"Do you want to be alone right now?" he asked, giving her space.
She shook her head and patted the spot next to her, inviting him to sit. He walked over and took a seat, looking around at the yard she grew up in full of weeds and dead grass.
"I swear it use to look more normal, more taken care of. I guess no one has lived here in a while." She stared at the ground wondering how no one could see the love that had been put into this home, then again, that might have been erased too.
She stood up, Keefe mirrored her action, and she sighed.
"I don't know why I came out here, I guess a part of me thought it might be comforting to see that it all still existed, sometimes it feels like this part of my life was a dream. Like it never really happened."
Keefe looked around as if trying to imagine her living here. Sophie figured it must be hard since everything was so overgrown and neglected.
"Are these your initials?" he asked, pointing to the sidewalk outside the fence.
Her eyes whipped up to find the location Keefe was referring to.
There it was, the last piece of evidence that her family existed.
Tears streamed down her face as she reached out to run her shaking fingers over the letters.
- E.F. + W.F. + S.F. + A.F -
She didn't know if the Black Swan had overlooked this part of her existence when they erased her or if they left her this small token to come back to. Either way, she was grateful to have something that proved this part of her existed.
"I'm so sorry Sophie," Keefe whispered and reached out to hold her. She accepted appreciatively and let her weight lean on him for a moment. It was times like this she was thankful not to have to be on her own. She tried to take deep breaths but they kept coming out as choked sobs.
"Shhhh," he murmured, "It's okay. Let yourself feel it for a moment."
"But-," she blubbered pushing away from him, "you shouldn't have to feel this pain. It's not fair." She tried to block herself from projecting but something about Keefe made her too comfortable to try.
He kept his hold firm, "Sophie I never want you to feel like you need to hide these feelings from me to save me."
He looked at her seriously, "I'm so thankful that I am able to know when you're hurting so I can be there for you to lean on. Knowing that you go through this kind of heartache... if you had never let me feel it, I am humble enough to say that I don't know if I would be able to understand just how tough everything has been for you. It makes me feel good that I can help you, that you will always have someone who will help you carry the load and know just how much that load is weighing on you. It's unfair that we get to laugh together but you cry alone."
Her sad eyes met his and her mouth wobbled as she tried to give him an appreciative smile.
"You know," he said softly, "sometimes when you go on missions and you're far enough away that I can't feel you, my whole body feels your absence. I don't just miss you, it's like a part of me is missing too."
"Oh, Keefe" she whispered as she sank back into him, tears running down her face and into his shirt. He rubbed her back as he held her. After a while, she was able to calm down a little and gain her breath back.
"It's not fair," she sighed into his shirt. "I love Edaline and Grady, I do, but it's just not fair."
"Of course you love them, Sophie," he said, chin resting on her head. "I know what it's like to not have a family but I couldn't imagine what it must be like to know you have a family out there that loves you and wants you but just doesn't remember."
Tears ran down her beautiful face. Keefe wanted to fight Forkle for putting her in this position, in this much pain. He wanted to move her away from all the fighting and the arguing and keep her somewhere safe. He wanted to remove her pain and carry it for her, he wanted to make sure no one ever made her feel this way again. Mostly, he wanted her to be happy... she deserved to be happy.
Her eyes focused on his and his heart broke for her, feeling her pain had been somewhat constant for him. She had been through a lot. But seeing her pain? That was a rare occurrence.
He saw it sometimes when she played with Dex's younger siblings or brushed Iggy's fur, a sadness that never seemed to leave her eyes. Grady and Edaline had that same sadness sometimes when they watched Sophie, even if he couldn't feel it that look was starting to become familiar.
"You are the best person..." her eyes closed for a second, " best elf I have ever met in my life Keefe. I don't know what I would do without you."
He held her face and murmured, "Trust me when I say the sentiment is entirely returned. I don't know what I'd do without you, Foster. Probably mope on a faraway hill, wondering what to do with my life."
She giggled, his hands still against her cheeks, "you do like to mope."
"We all have you to thank for my unequivocal lack of mope-yness," he smirked. "Loving you burned all that darkness away, you are nothing but light."
She wrapped her arms around him, "And there was never really darkness in you to burn, Keefe. Just some hurt that needed to be healed."
He drew a long breath and held her close, touched by her words, both drawing strength from the other.
"Would you have changed anything, if you could?" Keefe murmured, chin resting on top of her head.
She sighed, "If I could have it all, keep everyone I currently know and keep my old family, I would. That has never been an option though and ultimately, I'm glad I found somewhere I belong. Even if I'm still a little strange here too."
He snorted, "That makes two of us."
She pulled back to look at him, "I wouldn't trade meeting you, Keefe."
His eyes shined, and Sophie wondered if he ever really had someone in his life that put him first. She had always had people in her life that had loved her. Sure, they were always parents or guardians, but she always had someone who would fight for her. Keefe never did.
"You are too important," she insisted, "I could never let you go."
He leaned to rest his forehead on hers, mouth tantalizingly close.
"You are unlike anyone I have ever met." She could feel his breath fan over her lips, it made her shiver. "So many elves are mean and bitter when they are scared, they can never see past what scares them. But you? You are undeniably brave and so incredibly strong. I've felt that in you since the first time we met. I watched as your world caught on fire around you and you never pointed an undeserved finger."
Her eyes started to water and she saw the intensity and hopefulness in his eyes.
"You say that I'm too important to you now to let go, and I hope you know that you've been that way to me for a long time. Longer than you'll ever know." He took a deep breath, " You saw my pain even when I tried to hide it from you, even when I ran away from you, and you never gave up on me. The others wanted you to and you never did. You are my world, Foster. The all-consuming sun to my universe. An essential part of me now, I don't know how to exist without you."
"You'll never have to know," she whispered.
His gaze settled on her and she closed the gap between their lips.
And here at this moment, as her lips moved against his, she felt the immense relief of being loved. Of connection and how she didn't feel lonely in the one place she had felt her loneliest. The strong hands moved to hold her closer and her fingers slowly moved into his hair. Maybe everything that had happened to her had to happen, maybe it didn't.
But that didn't change where she was. Having a close group of friends and family that loved her even when they judged her was more than she could have ever hoped for. Sure, she had gotten her fair share of the short end of the stick, and her difficulties weren't over yet, but at this moment, kissing the one person who made her feel like she was worth all of this craziness, maybe the wins outweighed the losses.
"I'm sorry you can't see your parents," Keefe whispered after they pulled away.
Sophie sighed, still leaning against his front as he held her. "I miss them so much, I'm glad you got to meet Amy. I wish you could have seen them back when they knew me. You'd think it was obvious looking back on it that I wasn't related to them, but you'd see how great they were."
Keefe held her a little longer, the two of them enjoying the comfort of the embrace, as Sophie tried to find the closure she needed from this place. Maybe something like this never fully heals, but she could try to remember the good more than the bad.
"We should head back before Forkle comes looking for you."
Sophie gave him a small smirk. "You know, Forkle used to live right over there." She pointed to the neighboring house. "Amy and I would always get yelled at for running on his lawn, we thought he was such a grumpy old man."
Keefe laughed, "It's good to know Forkle got to be his true self while he was here."
She smiled at him and step out of their embrace. "Let's go home."
Keefe smiled at her and put his left hand in hers and lifted up his crystal with his right, "It's not home without you, Foster."
And they glittered away.