*Legacy and Stellarlune Spoilers*
Sophie knew when she had admitted her feelings to Keefe that there was going to be some evident backlash from the people close to her. Nothing too serious but she knew Biana had a crush on Keefe in the past, though Sophie was pretty sure her feelings had moved towards another boy in their group. Forkle wasn't keen on her dating in general. Her parents would have to get used to Keefe being around, though she was more worried about Grady than Edaline. She was going to have to get used to seeing Keefe's dad more. That wasn't something she was looking forward to.
Sure their relationship was a shock, she avoided looking at Della and Alden when they found out, but everyone was overall very supportive.
Then there was the more obvious obstacle: Fitz.
Sophie knew when she told Fitz she no longer wanted to date him and just be friends, he had hung a lot of hope on her excuse of being too busy for a boyfriend. She hadn't fully told him that the reason they had originally broken up, her refusal to tell him her mother's identity so she could become matchable, had shown her that his line of thinking didn't match up with hers. She was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to date someone with such different fundamental morals about how people and elves deserved to be treated. She hadn't communicated that with him as well as she could have.
Fitz was so angry and disappointed.
Sophie knew that her relationship with Keefe would change how the elves around her saw her, but she hadn't realized how much it would distance Keefe from his friends. Well, his best friend really.
"Keefe?" Sophie murmured.
"Yeah," he answered absentmindedly, eyes closed. They were cuddled in the hammock near the Panakes tree, slowly swinging in the breeze.
"I think you should talk to Fitz."
His body stiffed beneath her. "Did he say something to you? I wish I could have been there when you guys had your cognate training thing after we kissed, Fitz doesn't take things well."
Sophie huffed out a breath, "That's for sure. But- no, he didn't say anything I didn't expect. He's starting to become... predictable when it comes to these things."
She felt Keefe relax. He ran his fingers along her arm in a soothing slowness.
"But I don't think our relationship should ruin your friendship with him."
His eyes popped open, concern evident. "First thing, Foster, our relationship didn't ruin my friendship with Fitz. So don't blame yourself, being honest about your feelings is always the right thing to do. Even if that's something I'm still working on. Fitz and I have been on the outs for a while now, it's not your fault. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and while our timing wasn't perfect, I wouldn't change a thing."
She smiled, comforted by his words. "Still, you two should clear the air. You'll have to work together for the foreseeable future and you were so close, it's worth it to try and keep that."
He sighed, "You're right, it's just something I've been putting off."
She turned her head to give him a kiss on the cheek, "You deserve to have your best friend back Keefe, you deserve every happiness."
His cheeks turned red. They had a conversation recently about letting Sophie compliment him without him denying it and as much as he wanted to protest, he had to agree that it was helping his self-esteem a little.
"I'll meet with him tomorrow after school, he'll be in a good mood."
He could feel Sophie relax and he pushed the endeavor out of his mind to focus on the girl resting beside him, enjoying the moment.
When the next day came he walked up to Fitz before he could leap away, tapping him on the shoulder to grab his attention.
Fitz turned and, when realizing who he was faced with, gave him a guarded look.
"Hey man...um," Keefe mumbled, "I think it would be a good idea if we talked."
Fitz rolled his eyes, "so you can feel better about stabbing me in the back?"
Keefe clenched his jaw, "Come on that's not fair. We've been through so much, this can't be the thing we get caught on."
Fitz held his stare. Keefe didn't need to be an empath to see the rage boiling beneath the surface. He couldn't remember Fitz getting this angry when they were kids but these days it seemed to happen every other month.
For a moment he thought Fitz was going to storm away, but eventually, he nodded and they walked to the leaping crystals.
When they appeared Keefe noticed that they were outside Fitz's house. "Isn't Biana home?" he queried.
"No, she's always hanging out with people after school. Trying to get involved in clubs and things to distract herself from the other things happening."
Keefe nodded, remembering that Biana did seem to be running thin on time when it came to projects for missions.
Keefe followed as Fitz led the way around the house to the expansive yard where they would play base quest. They sat on the top of one of the hills they played on often as children. He smiled at the memories he had made here, his first real example of a home.
When he looked at Fitz to reminisce all he saw was the dark cloud in his eyes. Keefe sighed and decided now was as good a time as ever.
"I know you're not happy that Sophie and I are dating," Keefe prompted. "Not that I expect you to be or anything, but I do have to wonder why you seem to be so angry about it. You two haven't been together for a while and you didn't seem to agree when it came to a path forwards."
Fitz was quiet as he took in his words. He looked at the nearby lake and replied, "I mean, it hurts Keefe. This whole time I thought she just wasn't ready, I was waiting for her. I thought we just had to get through the whole Neverseen situation and we could figure it out... to know that she had feelings for you this entire time... that you kissed. I feel like you both have been playing a trick on me."
Keefe sighed at the accusation. "There's a lot to unpack here, so please try to let me finish before you get angry or interrupt."
Fitz's eyebrows scrunched together but he motioned for him to continue.
"First things first, Sophie didn't have feelings for me until incredibly recently. In fact, I think we all knew that for the first couple of years she lived here she was always mooning over you. I know I could feel her emanating her crush on you to the point that I could almost choke on the admiration she had for you."
Fitz gave him a satisfied smirk.
"I'm not going to sit here and say that we didn't get close, her friendship was so different from the ones I had before with all of you. When all of these horrible things kept happening to her, to all of us, we all reacted differently. Most of the group hadn't experienced anything like this before but Fitz..."
He paused to make sure Fitz was paying attention.
"as an empath, I need you to know the depth and complexities of the emotions she was going through. She got ripped away from everything she loved and then she was kidnapped and almost killed. We were all so young... I mean you remember the funeral."
Fitz looked serious, "It was the first time I had really experienced loss, I felt so guilty for bringing her here. I watched her sob on the floor of the house she used to live in... I had never thought that I was taking her away from something only about the future I was bringing her to. I felt like a failure, I was so relieved when she was okay. "
Keefe nodded, remembering Fitz's guilt from the day of her funeral. How stoic and empty they all felt. "After that everything sort of ramped up, you all got involved with her life. You were working for your dad and brought her back, you introduced her to Biana, Dex knew her through his family, and you all got involved with the Black Swan because of your connections to her."
"How did you meet Sophie? I can't remember introducing you to her," Fitz wondered aloud.
Keefe smiled and looked off to the side, "I 'ran' into her in the hallway after she burned Dame Alina's cape. After I saw her get introduced to the school... I don't know. I just knew I had to meet her."
Fitz looked at him critically, "Did you like her?"
Keefe returned his attention to Fitz, "Come on man, how could I not? At first, it was because she was mysterious and she piqued my curiosity, not to mention she was absolutely beautiful. I mean her eyes. I could write books about her eyes. I feel like with blue eyes you can see everything at once, but Sophie's? At first, I marveled at the warmth the brown gave her face but when she stepped into the light one afternoon they dazzled. Burning gold that radiated power. When she looked at me I could tell she had experienced so much more than the rest of us. She had such an understanding of life; I just knew I needed to know everything about her. Something about her was just so genuine and she looked at me like she could see the person I was beyond the jokes."
Fitz's lips were pursed, "And what? You've been in love with her ever since?"
Keefe's smile dropped at his mocking tone. "At first I had a crush on her Fitz, almost every guy around her seemed to. It was almost unavoidable. I mean- look at the two of you. Even you fell for her in the end and she liked you, so it didn't matter that I liked her because she chose you. I told her that, you know. I told her I thought you guys were perfect together."
Fitz was surprised, leaning back to absorb the information.
"When everything with my mom started happening, she was there for me every step of the way. I wanted to talk to you about everything that was happening, I mean you were my best friend Fitz-"
"Were-" Fitz interrupted, looking almost scared. For the first time since they decided to have this conversation, Keefe could tell that Fitz was vulnerable. Usually, Fitz always knew the cards on the table; he needed to be in control, and Keefe had thrown him.
Keefe gave him a soft look, "Your still one of my closest friends Fitz but we've grown apart. You know that. We have a lot of different opinions when it comes to the situations we've been put in and that has pulled us apart at times. That doesn't mean we'll never be that close again, we're just not there right now. I haven't had a real conversation with you like this for at least a year. Plus, I'm not exactly enjoying how you've treated Sophie"
His eyes darkened, "What I did to HER! She was the one kissing you behind my back!"
Keefe tried not to raise his voice, "I'm going to finish my story and then you can tell me if you still feel betrayed sound good?"
Fitz still looked pissed but he let Keefe finish.
"Like I was saying, I wanted to talk to you about everything that was happening with my parents but you had such great parents and you didn't seem to really understand what was happening to me. It's not like we couldn't be friends because of it I just found it hard to talk to you about these sorts of things. Especially because Foster started reaching out to me. When I told her everything, and trust me when I say that I held back at first, she understood. She knew what to say and how to be sympathetic without pitying me." Keefe looked up, "It's not like you were a bad friend or anything, Foster and I just connected. There weren't a lot of people who knew what it was like to go through this stuff with family and we found comfort in each other. That comfort became a friendship. She always knew what to say and I began to look for ways to be around her whenever I could. At some point, I realized I didn't view our friendship like I did my other ones. There was something more to it, we connected in a way I never had before.
Later, when the Neverseen had attacked and you and Sophie were in the hospital... that's when I realized I was in love with her. Watching her lay in that bed, she was so pale and broken. It wasn't like the other times she had gotten hurt, she was asleep for so long that we weren't sure if she was going to come out of it. Everything just clicked into place, I couldn't lose her. When I tell you I begged for her to wake up..." Keefe let out a sigh, "After that, I didn't know what to do with myself. You confessed your feelings to her not long after and I knew I had to take a step back and let you two do your thing. I did for the most part... except when I interrupted you about to kiss her. I will admit I got jealous and I couldn't watch you kiss her after everything I felt about her had just recently become so clear.
So many things happened after that and to be honest, I don't know all of it. You both started dating and she seemed so happy but then everything went down with Tam and Alvar and I assume something changed. I knew something was wrong after she found out she was unmatchable and she was too nervous to tell you."
"Right," Fitz scoffed, "The day I found you guys hugging at your place."
Keefe ran his fingers through his hair, "Look Fitz, I'm not going to say that it was my smartest move but she was upset and totally oblivious to any of my feelings so I did what I thought was right. She needed comfort about- actually... I need to know- do you care fundamentally about the fact that she's unmatchable? Or is it just because of the image your family has placed on your shoulders?"
Fitz thought about it for a while, a conflicted look on his face. "I told Sophie this, nobody wants to be unmatchable. I grew up with that idea and I've seen how unmatchable people are treated and how they turn out. I mean, look at Brant and Jolie. They turned out to be a disaster. It just seems like they make the matching lists for a good reason and I know we would be on each other's once her parents are in the system so it just seems avoidable. Her life is already so hard, I saw no reason to make it harder. She just wouldn't trust me either, she kept going to you and not consulting me about things that would make huge impacts on our relationship."
Keefe sighed.
"I feel like this conversation is going in circles so I'm going to go point by point. Do you think matchmaking is unfair?"
"No."
"Do you think Sophie thinks it's unfair?"
"I mean, I know she's said she was unsure about it but she doesn't tend to understand most of Elvin traditions."
"And you assumed that she would come around?"
"She did! She went to the scroll makers!"
"Yes... but she then reconfirmed that she thinks the system is broken. She should have been the perfect example to you that the system is broken. Her first friend is the son of two unmatchable elves and she never judged Dex for it. Her adoptive parents had a daughter who was a bad match and she never loved her parents less for it. That isn't to say that she doesn't see the downsides in being a bad match, but she never accepted the reasons as to why."
He could tell Fitz was uncomfortable, that he didn't know what to say.
"It's okay that you want to be a good match Fitz, you were raised to believe that being a good match was necessary for a good future. My parents were a good match but they didn't turn out so well, I never gave the system much merit after that. It's okay for you to want to do things the easy way, especially with all the craziness around us it's nice to be able to fit in. You just don't have that option when it comes to Sophie, for you to be a good match you would have to pick someone off your scrolls and Sophie is not going to be on it. Nor can you make her be on it, that will always be her choice and she feels that it is more important to her to keep her parent's identity a secret than be part of a system that has never worked for the people close to her."
Fitz nodded slowly, realization starting to creep into his face. "You don't care that the two of you will be a bad match?"
"Fitz," Keefe said plainly, "I would do anything to be with Sophie Foster. I would live in the drowsiest of places, wear the plainest clothes, and do the worst job in the world if it meant I got to be with Foster. I would worship the ground she stood on and build a temple in her name if it guaranteed she would love me back. I love her man, being a good match doesn't matter to me."
"I knew giving you those human books on greek mythology would go to your head," Fitz cracked a smile.
Keefe smirked, "It's not my fault I looked like the guy on the cover."
They sat in companionable silence for a moment, letting the easiness of the joke linger.
"I wish we could have had this conversation under different circumstances," Keefe sighed. "I was trying to give you both time to come off of the breakup before I even talked to her about any of my feelings. I never expected Foster, in all of her oblivion, to come to me first. But then there she was, confessing her feelings to me and I couldn't lie to her again. I need her in my life, she keeps me balanced and I like being able to be there for her."
Fitz sighed, "You two work well together, I can admit that. I think... she might be the only reason you're still here, insane as that is."
Keefe sobered, "She... is. I would have fallen off the deep end- I have fallen off the deep end a couple of times. Sophie somehow always brought me back, kept me from going too far into myself."
"I've seen how good you are to her as well," Fitz admitted. "The way you've stayed with her when she was hurt, how you're always able to calm her down when she panics. I think I was a bit jealous of that. You two could always lean on each other and found peace with each other. Part of me assumed that was something that Sophie and I could learn but now I think it must be something natural that just clicks with another person. We never really had that realness that the two of you shared. You are both so adult, almost. You look at her like you've found your person and you'll never look at another person the same way again."
He paused and Keefe let it linger.
"I think," Fitz continued, "I thought that maybe that was how she looked at me, and I wanted to be loved like that, but it wasn't the same. When she looked at you when I came to your house, I knew I had lost it, whatever it was she felt for me. She had realized what the two of you had, how could anyone turn away from that? It hurts a little to have to start over and look around for a person like that, I'm not even sure if what happened between the two of you happens to everyone."
Keefe's eyes softened, "Fitz you'll find your person, you've got until the end of time to find that person."
Fitz gave him a small smile, "Yeah but it sure would be nice to have a bit of love now, with all the craziness around us."
Keefe looked down, "I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't help, she makes all of the craziness worth it." He looked at Fitz, "But I'm still here man, and I'll always be here for you. The rest of the Elvin world looks up to you golden boy, you'll be breaking hearts in no time."
Fitz laughed, "I haven't heard that nickname in a while, ever since Sophie came and broke every record in existence I've paled in comparison. I think I'm kind of useless to the team these days"
"No way," Keefe scoffed, "when you keep a level head your knowledge of Elvin history has come in handy lots of times. None of us know the laws and customs as you do. You're invaluable to the team man, Sophie has said just as much."
Fitz sat absorbing his words.
"I'm just hitting a low point I guess. All this stuff with my brother, not feeling like a good telepath with Sophie around, and now this? It just keeps coming. I'm not good at dealing with my emotions like you guys, stuff like this never happened before."
"Well, to be fair, we aren't that good at dealing with our emotions either. I mean look at how many times I've run off when things got bad, whenever I get overwhelmed I just feel like I have to remove myself from the situation so I can breathe. It wasn't until Sophie started running after me and I saw how much it hurt her, and how it wasn't really helping me either, that I realized I needed to deal with things more head-on. I'm not going to say that your tendencies towards anger are valid because you tend to lash out and hurt the people around you, but I understand why you're doing it. We're still so young and figuring things out. Sophie never fit in with the humans and had to grow up to get herself through it, then her world was flipped upside down and she had to grow up all over again. I never had a family that helped me, I was incredibly lonely and had to grow up because of it. It may have been awful, but we were ahead of the game when it came to feeling things like this. You might think we've got it all figured out but we've just been living with this kind of thing longer. I'm glad you didn't have that, I'm glad your family is so kind even if they do put a lot of pressure on you." Keefe put a hand on Fitz's shoulder, "We're all here for you man, I'm here for you. Sitting down and talking things out like this, I mean I know it hasn't provided any solutions but it does make you feel a hell of a lot better. Sometimes all you need is to not feel so dark inside and I'll always be around for that kind of thing."
Fitz smiled and leaned in to give Keefe a hug. Keefe couldn't remember the last time they really hugged like this, it had to have been sometime before Fitz started getting involved in his dad's work. They pulled away and Keefe knew Sophie had been right, he did feel like a weight had been lifted.
"So maybe you could stop ignoring me in the hallways and be a little kinder to my girlfriend?" Keefe smirked.
Fitz gave him a sheepish smile, "I'm getting used to the idea of it. I mean you? Having a girlfriend before me? Who would have thought!"
Keefe feigned hurt, "I've got game!"
"Sure," Fitz laughed, "because you totally didn't pine after a girl for years only for her to tell you her feelings first!"
"Well, what can I say, Foster has always been one step ahead of me," Keefe smiled.
Fitz put out his hand, "Friends?"
Keefe shook his hand, "Friends."