Chapter Five: Red Ink
~Yotsuba~
The bright sun peaked just over the dirty gray buildings surrounding the track field. Yotsuba took a deep gulp of water from her sports bottle, tore open an energy bar, and ate it in two large bites. She squinted in the direction of the sun; the spring heat felt stifling, signaling that it was nearing noon and the end of their practice. Her teammates clumped together in groups—most of them were from Osaka and knew each other from high school—the rest usually stuck to their specialty. The high jumpers chatted with the other high jumpers, the shot putters exchanged towels and snacks with the other shot putters. Even Yotsuba found herself gravitating towards her fellow sprinters. She chatted with the team, sharing running times, improvements, and complaints about the day's practice.
"Nakano-san, can you help us take the mats to storage?" One of the upperclassmen called out to her.
"Sure thing, senpai!" Yotsuba hurried to stuff dusty, sweaty mats into the utility closet at the opposite side of the field.
After packing away all the equipment, Yotsuba stretched and tugged at her drenched practice jersey. She crinkled her nose from the smell that she was embarrassed to admit was her own.
The stench of hard work!
"Ah, I do stink pretty bad, though," she said to no one in particular.
She collected her belongings and returned to the lockers, not forgetting to smack the when the work gets hard, the hard get working sign hung above the entrance. Passing by the booming radio and loud chattering groups of teammates. Yotsuba soaked in the atmosphere. It was the electric high of a hard practice. The kind of raw energy that could power a small city. She quickly found her locker, threw off her sweaty track shoes, and rubbed her sore, blistered feet. She moaned with relief.
"Great work Nakano-san!" her teammate patted her shoulder as she passed by with nothing but a towel covering her body.
Yotsuba slipped her damp clothes off her shoulders, quickly covering herself with a fresh towel embroidered with 'Kansai University Track Team' in their school colors. She sighed with relief as she entered the shower, hanging her towel just outside the door. The warm water bounced off her skin and washed away her weariness. She stepped out a few moments later, her skin flushed pink from the hot water. Throwing on a plain white t-shirt and a fresh pair of comfortable shorts, she vigorously rubbed the towel over her hair one last time to fully dry it.
"Nakano-san?" Her captain asked.
Yotsuba jumped, smacking her elbow on the door of her locker in her haste. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" She soothed her elbow, trying to rub out the static buzzing on her arm.
"Are you okay?" Her team captain laughed.
"Maenaka-senpai," Yotsuba said, ignoring the remaining tingling coming from her elbow. "Yes, I'm okay."
"You sure don't seem like it," Maenaka-senpai said. Her frame was broad and strong. Easily towering over Yotsuba. She could hardly believe Maenaka-senpai was a sprinter like her. But she knew better than to underestimate her. She was strong, yes, But she was also fast. Maenaka-senpai pulled back her lacy black bangs with a sweaty old-looking hairband. "I just wanted to say you first-years are really impressing me. Especially you, Nakano-san. You're smoking some of our fourth years out there!"
"Oh," she paused, unsure how to take the sudden compliment. "Thanks! I promise to try my best!" Yotsuba grinned.
"I'm sure you will, Nakano-san," Maenaka-senpai said. "Are you open to some advice?"
"Of course! Anything if it can make my sprint time better!"
"Well, it has nothing to do with running," Maenaka-senpai leaned in closer. "Your shorts are on backward."
Yotsuba glanced down. Indeed, her back pockets were poking out from the front.
She quickly took them off to readjust them. Before she could, Maenaka-san snatched her shorts from her.
"And we have got to do something about your choice in underwear!" she teased. "Granny panties are out, you know. You need to have something a little more adult. What if you meet a boy?"
Yotsuba flushed. She snatched her shorts back, quickly shoving them back on and making sure to tie the drawstring extra tight.
"I think they're fine," she said, puffing up her cheeks. "And I'm not interested in meeting anyone else. I already have a boyfriend."
"Oh? That's surprising! I'm guessing you haven't done it yet, based on what you're wearing."
Yotsuba's cheeks felt unbearably warm. Should Futaro and her have done it already? No way!
"I'm just teasing you Nakano-san. It's my right as captain and senpai. You'll have to tell us all about him soon."
"I guess so," Yotsuba forced a laugh.
"You're a middle child, aren't you?" Maenaka-senpai nodded, "Yeah, it's written all over your face. Bet you were the kind of kid to make all kinds of trouble just to get noticed, huh?"
Yotsuba shook her head, "I guess kind of. I had my moments. My older sister was the pushy one when we were younger. You remind me of her, actually."
"Is that so? Then you probably have a great sister. You'll have to tell us about her too." Maenaka-san nodded intently, "It all makes sense now. You're always running around helping the team set up their equipment, even though it's not even part of your duties— I appreciate it. We all do. But I worry slightly that you might be overextending yourself, Nakano-san."
Yotsuba smiled. She was pretty sure that both Futaro and Ichika had told her the exact same thing at some point.
Suddenly, like an intrusive thought, she imagined them both in Tokyo. It deflated all the air in the room.
"Thank you Maenaka-senpai. I've gotta go," Yotsuba said, excusing herself from the locker room.
"Sure, thing Nakano-san," Maenaka-senpai said, entirely oblivious to the quiet war waging inside Yotsuba's heart. "See you here back first thing tomorrow. Oh! I wanted to tell you that we're having a girl's get-together after practice this Friday, and attendance is mandatory."
Yotsuba bowed slightly deeper than usual at the entrance of the hallway, " I would be really happy to join you all!" Yotsuba grinned again, "Sorry for leaving before you, Maenaka-senpai."
Spring was well underway, and the cherry blossoms had long since given way to bright green leaves. The sun was now high in the sky. She inhaled deeply, taking in more sunlight as the breeze slowly became weaker, suggesting that the balmy summers nights were just a few weeks away. She crossed campus, admiring the attention to detail Kansai University had in arranging a diverse range of plants. There were sturdy maples interlaced with exotic shrubbery that grew thick at the base and even some exotic plants that she couldn't name. It was amazing! She would, on occasion, pause to read the label of a few that particularly caught her attention. She'd have to show Futaro when he came over to visit at one point.
Osaka was much bigger than her hometown, but unlike Tokyo, Osaka was entirely new territory. She didn't even know the best places to eat yet. Itsuki and Nino always searched the best restaurants and cafes before going anywhere. And Ichika was the one that always planned out their activities. She always had the insider's information on what was fun.
Yotsuba was the navigator. Who was it going to be? Itsuki? They'd never make it out alive.
Miku always seemed content to just go with the flow, but Yotsuba knew better. She knew her sister could be quite pushy when she wanted to be.
She checked her phone.
[Itsuki] (sent at 6:30 a.m) "Yotsuba, make sure that you pack food for both after practice and after class."
[Yotsuba] (sent at 6:35 a.m ) "I got an energy bar for after practice, and I'll be going to the food hall for lunch."
[Itsuki] (sent at 6:40 a.m) "Just an energy bar? Please feed yourself properly."
[Miku] (sent at 6:42 a.m) "Guys...It's really early…."
[Yotsuba] (sent at 6:42 a.m) "oh! I'm sorry! I didn't realize."
[Yotsuba] (sent at 6:43 a.m) "Sorry for blowing up your phones!"
[Yotsuba] (sent at 6:43 a.m) "But have a goof day."
[Yotsuba] (sent at 6:43 a.m) "I mean, *good day*"
[Itsuki] (sent at 6:47 a.m) "Yotsuba… we can do better than the school food court. There's this place called Inoishii near your school. You should check it out."
[Miku] (sent at 6:50 a.m) "I don't think I can go back to bed now... I should start getting ready. Nino is probably already up too. Have a good day, Yotsuba."
[Nino] (sent at 6:52 a.m) "... ugh! I'm muting the chat!"
After arriving in Osaka, she realized how much she depended on her sisters. She was grateful for Itsuki. From the moment she got off at Shin-Osaka station, she has received nonstop recommendations from Itsuki and daily messages from Miku checking up on her. She understood that Ichika was often too busy to message. And Nino, well…
Maybe she'll understand in time.
Yotsuba felt a slight twinge of annoyance and guilt.
She was a fifth of a person, but one-fifth of her hated her guts… Or hated her boyfriend. She wasn't sure which anymore.
Yotsuba had made the decision to go after what she wanted. For months she quietly watched her sisters chase Futaro around. She had convinced herself that her sisters had more right to him than she did. But Futaro chose her.
Nino just has to get it together.
She tapped the screen on her phone, aimed her front-facing camera above her head and threw her trademark "peace" sign, and put on a smile. Click.
Yotsuba scrolled to Futaro's name and typed out a quick message:
"Just another day in paradise! Do you still remember my face without a ribbon, Futaro? I'm thinking of you."
Was this being too needy? Who cares. Nino would do the same.
She hit send and closed her phone. Her heart was thumping rapidly.
Fuu-kun… What kind of a nickname was that!? She quietly seethed.
She had no time to waste thinking about Nino. Here she was in Osaka, achieving her dream… Or at least, that's what she had convinced herself that's what she was doing. She noticed the difference in enthusiasm in how Futaro would talk about his program in Tokyo and how she felt about hers.
Yotsuba thought about asking her dad for some more money so she could take a personal spa day. Surely her dad wouldn't mind, and either Itsuki or Miku would have plenty of recommendations for amazing western-style baths complete with fancy foreign masseuses who would burn lavender incense to pamper her and gently expel all the aches and pains she still felt in her body from practice. Still, like a creature of habit, she had wandered to a nearby park instead. She found a quiet bench hidden beneath a large tree, sheltered from the sun. Tossing her bag to the ground by the bench, she laid down, covering her eyes with her forearm. She tried her best to ignore the stuffy air of midday.
The clocktower of the school's main building began to chime slowly and melodically, signaling the passing of the hours.
Wow, it must be getting late now. What time is it? One? What day is it—oh!
Yotsuba bolted upright and checked her phone.
I forgot about class!
She threw her bag over her shoulder and pulled it up to her chest, and sprinted out of the park at a speed that would make any police officer suspicious. Quickly exiting the park, she returned to campus and darted between groups of roaming students who clearly didn't have class now. She turned a sharp right and came to a long, rustic red stone building with a domed top that reminded her of an old oversized gym. Entering the building, she immediately rushed up three flights of stairs and a long hallway, ignoring the confused looks of staff and other students.
She stopped just outside the heavy oak doors of the lecture hall to collect her breath. After a few moments, she opened the doors as quietly as she could and offered a quick apologetic bow to the instructor, who bowed curtly in her direction.
He's probably really upset.
Shaped like a modern greek theater with the professor at the center, she scanned the auditorium looking for an empty seat.
A small figure a bit away stood up and waved at Yotsuba. A petite girl with medium light brown hair tied in a ponytail pointed to Yotsuba and gestured at the seat next to her. Yotsuba recognized her from the track team.
Confused, Yotsuba pointed at herself. The girl nodded in confirmation and pointed to the seat next to her. Yotsuba quickly rushed through the aisles, set her things down, and sank into her seat.
"Thank you," Yotsuba mouthed to her teammate.
"Don't worry about it, Nakano-san," the girl answered.
"I—sorry, I don't think I know your name."
The girl waved her hand as if to waft away Yotsuba's apology, "It's okay. My name is Inoue, Yuna."
"Nice to meet you, Inoue-san. You really saved my back there."
"That's what teammates are for Nakano—"
AHEM!
A studious-looking student stared from above his laptop behind them. His expression said it all: Why are you talking so much!
The two girls chuckled awkwardly and tilted their heads apologetically. They turned back to face the instructor, who was already midway through their PowerPoint.
Yotsuba took out a small notebook to take notes.
Alright! Today is going to be different. Focus!
She stared intently at the PowerPoint on the giant projector. English was never her strong suit, but she tried her best to be diligent, hanging on to every word her instructor said.
She scribbled fiercely on her notepad, trying her best to transfer her instructor's words into script.
… and if the pronouns are… what?
Crap!
The professor had already changed slides.
What was that about de-ba-to… tomato?
What does "debate" mean?
She took out her phone to quickly translate it. But by the time she wrote down the definition, she had missed another three slides. And the instructor had long since begun discussing their reading—which Yotsuba had not completed.
The instructor's English began to sound like dull white noise... A droning melody of vowels, consonants, and verbs that Yotsuba's brain couldn't unlock into intelligible speech.
It only now did she realize how heavy her limbs felt. There was a dull throbbing on her thighs from practice, and the sun had muddled her brain.
Her eyes began to feel heavy. She put her pencil down and rested her head on her hand, using her elbow to prop herself up on the desk.
….What was sensei even talking about? I have to focus… they said this was going to be on the test…
…when is the test?
It's in four weeks?… or something…
…
…
…
. . . . .
"Nakano-san?"
"Nakano-san!"
Yotsuba felt a gentle voice rustle her consciousness. She opened her eyes; her surroundings looked entirely alien to her.
The girl— Inoue-san— gently rocked her shoulders. Yotsuba straightened her back, looking around at the empty seats while wiping the drool from her lips.
"I—oh, I fell asleep," Yotsuba said, realizing what had happened.
"Yeah," Inoue-san chuckled. "You're kind of a deep sleeper too. Class just ended."
Yotsuba grimaced. Idiot! I did it again!
"Well, thank you for waking me up, Inoue-san," she sulked. "Last time this happened, no one woke me up until hours later."
"The professor mentioned that. Are you tired from practice?"
Yotsuba nodded, "that and I've been trying to study really hard to catch up," she picked up her notebook and dropped it limply on her desk. "But it's no use."
"Oh, it can't be that bad," Inoue-san tugged on a loose sheet of paper that was poking out from Yotsuba's notebook to glance at its contents. Inoue-san winced like she had just watched someone drop their phone down a flight of stairs.
"Yikes, Nakano-san," she said, stifling a giggle.
"I know! How could I be that dumb?!" Yotsuba agreed.
"How did you even get into this school!?" Inoue-san replied.
"How did I even manage to find my way to class?!"
"How did you even graduate high school?!"
The girls laughed. Inoue-san tried her best to stifle her giggles, but doing so only made both of them laugh even more.
"Okay, okay," Yotsuba said, wiping tears of laughter from the corner of her eye. "I'll admit, I had a lot of help to graduate."
Inoue-san stood up and gave Yotsuba back her shameful assignment. "I think we could talk to Maenaka-senpai to get you a tutor, but I have a better idea."
Yotsuba's ears perked up.
"How about I tutor you and help you get better at English, and you help me become a better sprinter?"
"Wha—?" Yotsuba said. Her jaw dropped to the floor.
"Yeah, You're the best first-year runner, and I want to at least prove that I can stand on the same stage as you."
Yotsuba blinked. "But wouldn't Maenaka-senpai, or one of our other senpai be better for that?"
"They're too busy preparing for the Olympic qualifier invitational this fall. Look— I know that I'll never be that good," she said with a playful Osakan twang. "But I at least want to prove that I can stand on my own two feet."
"So Nakano-san, please help me."
She bowed deeply, almost knocking her head against Yotsuba's desk.
"Hey… Hey! Cut it out!" Yotsuba glanced around the room, feeling her cheeks grow warm. "Fine! I'll help just stop bowing!"
Inoue-san shot straight up and cupped Yotsuba's hands. "Yay! I promise I won't let you down! And I'll make sure you don't fail English."
Stunned by her enthusiasm, Yotsuba smiled.
So this is what it feels like, Futaro?
Inoue-san and Yotsuba exited the building together and briefly exchanged goodbyes. Yotsuba wandered around the corner with a spring in her step. Since coming to Osaka, she felt like her luck was finally turning around.
Buzzzzz! buzzzzz!
She took out her phone from her pocket. Nakano Itsuki: Calling
Pouting slightly, thinking it was Futaro, she answered.
"Hi, Itsuki!" She put on her best cheery voice.
"Yotsuba, is now a bad time?"
"No. What is it?"
"I was just wondering if you accidentally packed up my old red tracksuit? The one with our school colors." Itsuki said. "I can't seem to find it anywhere."
"I don't think so," She paused. "But I can check later tonight."
Itsuki groaned, "Nino probably wore it by accident again. Thank you, Yotsuba. I'll talk to you later. Goodbye!"
"Wait!" Yotsuba called out. There was a slightly awkward pause on the other end.
"Is something wrong?" Itsuki asked, her tone suddenly shifted to concern.
"Oh, nothing. Can't a sister just want to talk? Like... what do you recommend from that place you mentioned this morning?" Yotsuba forced a laugh. "How are you?"
"I'm okay… I guess?" Itsuki said, taking Yotsuba's bait. "School and work mostly—and I recommend the beef bowl."
"Hows Miku?… And Nino," She quickly corrected herself.
"Huh? Are you and Nino talking again—Never mind, I won't pry. They've been making a mess out of the kitchen nearly nightly with their homework. But I'm not complaining. Treats and sweets nearly every night." Itsuki chuckled to herself. "I should really learn how to say no to them."
"That's nice! Sweets! How wonderful!"
"Yotsuba I—"
"And how about Ichika?" Yotsuba interrupted her.
"Oh… She's okay, I suppose. We don't really hear from her often. She's been busy with work. But she did message us earlier this week. Uesugi-kun called her. He got a new job."
"Oh, yeah. He told me too—wait, Ichika talked to him?"
"Only briefly," Itsuki said. Yotsuba covered the receiver end of her cellphone to mask her deep exhale. "You just got done with practice, right?"
Yotsuba chucked awkwardly, "Class, actually. Practice was earlier in the morning."
There was silence on the other end of the phone for an uncomfortably long moment.
"Itsuki? You there?"
"You two should really talk it out," She said, shifting to a very Itsuki-like, scolding tone.
"What are you talking about?"
"You and Nino. You guys did a good job faking it around Uesugi-kun at his farewell party—and even Hawaii was fine—but we all know that you two are barely talking. It's been months. Get over it already. Both of you."
Yotsuba stayed silent. If she were a pot filled with water, she'd be close to boiling over now. "She basically admitted that she'd try to take Futaro from m—"
"I was there, Yotsuba. Remember?"
"I just want an apology." Yotsuba gritted her teeth.
"… It's not that easy—for her, I mean," she said. "If you want to talk to her, just talk to her," Itsuki sounded annoyed.
I should probably stop talking about this. I don't want her to hate Futaro because of me.
"Uesugi-kun chose you. Isn't that enough? Miku and Ichika have dealt with their feelings. Nino… You just have to be patient with her. We all need time and patience."
Yotsuba's words got lost in the spinning tornado inside her mind.
"I should get going," Itsuki said, failing to contain her tone. "Forget I said anything. You and Nino will figure out the best way to fix this. Ichika will be here any minute. Take care. Bye."
And with that, the call ended. Yotsuba was left sitting on the small chair. Now more lost than ever.
He chose me because he loves me. Right?
There was this cruel fantasy that occasionally played in Yotsuba's mind where she imagined that Futaro simply drew straws with his eyes closed and held on to the very last straw— her straw— that was left remaining in his hand.
Large blobs of moisture formed in the corner of he eyes and gently streaked down, staining her cheek. She always looked forward to talking with Itsuki. She was the only one who called Yotsuba. Her other siblings preferred to text in the family group chat. So how was it possible that she felt worse after talking with her sister?
Yotsuba's phone vibrated once more in her hand.
New Message: Futaro Uesugi.
She unlocked her phone with a lazy flick of her screen.
Of course, I remember what you look like. You look like you're getting a tan being outside so long. Are you done with practice? Have you been drinking water? Don't do anything stupid, like forget to hydrate.
His message was simple. Some might even call it cold. But his tiny gestures of care are all Yotsuba needed to know that she was loved. He's as insensitive and straightforward as always, but his words rang true in her heart. She needed to tune her own heart to his love to receive it. Her phone buzzed again.
Yotsuba let out an audible gasp. It was a picture of Futaro.
He didn't try to find his best lighting, and he didn't really smile. He didn't even really focus on the camera. He seemed to be at the library as he was framed by a wall of books, and of course, deep dark bags had already developed under his eyes. And even so, He was so hot!
Does he even understand how attractive he is? Does he realize how reliable he is? How his hard-working nature radiates from this one photo?
Yotsuba wiped the streaks of tears from her eyes.
"He's perfect," She uttered quietly.
~Itsuki~
Itsuki hung up the phone and crossed the living room just as the doorbell chimed.
What great timing, Itsuki exhaled and set her phone down on top of some of Nino's half-read magazines at the kitchen bar.
"Hey, it's me! Open up!" Chimed a familiar cheery voice from the other side of the door. "I brought over the stuff."
Itsuki buzzed Ichika through the door of their family apartment. She came in, pulling a red pull wagon filled with heavy textbooks.
"What's with the kid's toy?"
"Well, I couldn't carry all of this crap by hand, could I?" Ichika said, gesturing to the pile of books.
Itsuki bent over and inspected the condition of the books, " honestly, couldn't you have just asked one of the guys from the studio for help?"
Ichika wiped her brow, "And owe one of them a favor?" She said. "They'll probably just ask for a date as a form of repayment. No thanks."
Ichika took off her fake glasses and baseball cap and entered the kitchen. She opened the fridge and took out a canned coffee.
Itsuki mused as to how she on earth such a simple disguise fooled anyone.
"You're technically doing me a favor anyway. I have to pack a whole lot lighter for Tokyo," Ichika sipped the last few drops of Café Au Lait. "I don't know what exactly it was, but we really hit our stride in the past few months, so we're ahead of schedule. We'll be all done by early autumn, I think."
"Oh, that nice," Itsuki said in a poor attempt at feigning interest. She was too busy removing books from the red toy wagon and taking them to the living room table.
"Why do you want those books and notes anyway?" Ichika tossed the can into the recycle and joined her. "You're done with high school."
"I thought it would be a good idea to review some of our old notes as I go."
"And how's school going?"
"Well, it's going," Itsuki winced.
"Ah, that bad?" she smiled awkwardly. "Maybe you need a tutor."
Itsuki shot a dirty look at Ichika,"I'm fine, thank you very much for your suggestion."
Ichika held her hands up as a sign of forfeit. "Has the house always been this quiet?" She said, rapidly changing the subject. "The apartment feels so much bigger now."
Itsuki nodded. "Yeah. Well, this place was meant for six people," she turned her head up to the bedrooms on the second floor. "And two moved out."
"The majority still live here, though."
"It doesn't feel like it."
"I suppose that makes sense. Nino and Miku seemed really driven these days. It's so funny. I think about all the times we bickered here in this living room." Ichika laughed. "Well, mostly Miku and Nino. But it was nearly every day!"
"Yeah. Now with their culinary program and work, they're hardly home." Itsuki added... "They even coordinate their workdays together, so they usually leave around the same time every day. They spend a lot of time together. It's kind of disconcerting."
"Discon—what?"
"It means worrying."
"Oh, sounds like a word Futaro-kun would use."
"I guess so," Itsuki said, feeling slightly awkward at the exchange.
Ichika stretched, "Yeah, we really changed over the past few months, haven't we?"
Did we? Itsuki's mind ate away at her.
She pouted slightly. She quickly turned her face away from Ichika so she wouldn't see. She didn't want to begin spewing word vomit at her sister, so she turned her attention to the tall stack of thumbed through some of Ichika's old graded practice tests. They were completely covered with red ink. Mostly innocuous and straightforward things like "re-read this" and "double-check here." But she knew exactly who wrote these notes. They were the notes of a stupid, infuriating man who also happened to be the most intelligent person she'd ever known.
He had come in, and singlehandedly flipped all their lives upside down. He somehow found a way to push all her sisters into pursuing their dreams, dismantling everything, and built it right back up. They all changed because they met Uesugi, Futaro.
Everyone except for me…
"Ah, Itsuki-chan?" Ichika waved her hands in front of her face. "Earth to Itsuki, are you in there?"
She jumped like a startled cat. "Oh! Sorry, Ichika!" She put the notes down on the table. "I was kind of in my own little world."
"I can see," Itsuki said. "I don't think I've ever seen you be that distracted."
She felt her cheeks grow warm, "I guess I'm not really used to being around people these days. I tend to not really look at the world around me."
"Uh-huh," Ichika accepted her half-baked excuse, "If you say so." She picked up her old notes that Itsuki dropped on the living room table. "On second thought, would you mind if I hold on to this?"
Itsuki blinked, "What?"
"I'm going to keep these."
"Uhh, sure. But you don't need those notes anymore, right?"
Ichika thumbed the old papers gently. "No, but I think they're nice to keep around. They remind me of those fun study nights with Futaro-kun and the others," she said. "Things have changed so quickly since we all graduated that I thought it'd be nice to have this."
Itsuki eyed her sister suspiciously. I guess it's okay that her notes have a sentimental value to her.
"Well, I think it's time for me to get going," Ichika said. "I have to practice my lines for the next tomorrow."
"You have to promise me once you're all done, the four of us will get together to have a viewing party. We can even video call Yotsuba in so that it can be the five of us."
"Oh, are you sure? What if there's another death scene?" Ichika smiled wryly.
"You've gotten really good at them lately," Itsuki pointed her finger at her sister. "But I think I'll be okay as long as I can hold your hand to make sure that my sister is still actually there."
"You're such a kid."
Itsuki and Ichika hugged goodbye, and soon, Ichika exited the apartment, once again leaving Itsuki alone in an oversized, overpriced, and entirely empty apartment.
Itsuki wandered over to the living room and let her body collapse on the loveseat.
She kicked her feet up on the table, accidentally knocking over the stack of books she had stacked just moments ago.
She considered getting up to pick up the books from the floor, but the couch was just too comfortable. She recognized every one of those textbooks on the pile, and she had thrown out all her high school books in frustration just months ago.
She could almost imagine it perfectly. Ichika would be quietly sneaking in a nap on top of her textbook. Futaro would be scolding Yotsuba about one of her many silly mistakes. Nino would be glancing under the table, concealing her phone, which she was using to translate the English prompt that he'd assigned to her. Miku would be pressing Futaro to check her work carefully to ensure she didn't miss anything. And she…
Where would I be?
Often Itsuki was doing her own thing. She wasn't always happy to accept Futaro's help. She was too proud, and he was too… Futaro-like. They were like cats and dogs. She often wondered if he just tolerated her for the sake of the job.
He confessed that he loved all five of them at one point.
Maybe he was just trying to be polite. Itsuki covered her eyes with her forearm. There's no way he saw me like that— not in the way that he probably thought of Miku or Yotsuba.
She thought of the red markings on Ichika's study notes. Why did she want those stupid old notes anyway?
Finally, like an invisible train bearing at full speed, an awful feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.
She cursed herself for being so inactive. For being so passive. For only thinking of herself. For a split second during the school festival, she allowed herself to fantasize that she'd be the one chosen.
Of course, that was just silly. It was never going to be her.
Authors Note: This chapter was deliberately slower. I really wanted to capture several angles of Yotsuba's life and sort of how she's settled (or maybe not so settled) into her life in Osaka. In fact, this is my first real dive into her point of view. Before she just had moments, but this time I wanted her to take center stage. Being a student-athlete is difficult, and it's even more difficult if you're a bad at the "student" part of "student-athlete." Finally here on this chapter I finally reveal what was eating away at Yotsuba for months: Nino. Clearly it's been resurfacing some of her old doubts. I have a feeling I might be picking up the pace in the next chapter or two, but we'll see! I am enjoying my slow burn.
I promised that I would keep my A/N short, but oops. I am a liar. I want to give a special thank you to Bazzo,Chloetuco The Mist33, and Bobalon for leaving reviews on my last chapter. I'm grateful for the positive reception and your constant support so far. My Fic finally reached more than 2000 unique views on FFN, and I have to say that I was not expecting nearly that many people to come across my fic, so I am so incredibly happy that I can barely contain it. Thank you so much for all your encouragement, and I hope to continue writing and improving.