Episode 1: a not so glorious return
A/N: this story may be outdated but f* it, I need to finish it. Also I got better at writing from the last time I wrote this.
(Lonely Lodge)
Brite: so, what now?
Grill: just give me a sec. I need to take this all in.
After a moment of awkward silence later, Grill turned to Drift.
Grill: let's start with you, shall we? Exactly how long have you been hiding this never before seen power from us?
Drift: ever since I entered the bunker.
Grill: so you were hiding teleportation powers from us? In the apocalypse? Why?
Drift: I was afraid you'd kick me out…
Grill: ITS THE MOTHER (BLEEPEN) POST APOCALYPSE!!!! DO YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA HOW USEFUL THAT WOULD'VE BEEN?!
Drift: I'm sorry
Grill: Whatever, just make sure to tell us of anymore powers you have.
Drift opened his mouth speak
Grill: Now for my second question: why didn't you teleport Rusty?
Drift: he was technically touching Ice King, I would've brought him with us ruining the point of me teleporting.
Grill: Fine, anything else?
Drift opened his mouth to speak again
Grill: Good, now you mr dire
But grill had already moved on
Grill: why did you tell us to trust that man?
Dire: I don't know he seemed trustworthy enough.
Grill: DUDE!!! Just because they seem "trustworthy enough," doesn't mean we should always trust them!
Dire: why the (bleep) are you mad? Y'all guys seemed to trust him too!
Grill: I'm mad because YOUR DECISION LEAD TO THE DEATH OF MY BEST FRIEND!!!
Dire: dude I'm sorry about that, but I was a victim of circumstance, how would you have reacted if you were in my situation?
Grill: with caution
Dire: So did I, turns out, that caution wasn't enough to stop an ice man from gaining power!
Grill: you know what… that's a good point, (mutters) I guess. Well we have a much bigger problem now. There's a fricking Ice King getting ready to kill us with his army of ice husks, we need to prepare… somehow
Ghoul trooper: well we are in Lonley lodge, let's just build up a few walls, loot all the guns and ammunition and make this a base, retail row is nearby we can use that as a frequent supply run destination. We do all that and this can be a good holdout position for when the Ice King attacks.
Grill: and here I was thinking I was supposed to be the leader, ALRIGHT PEOPLE YOU HEARD THE TROOPER LETS GET MOVING!!
several seasons later*
Catalyst, Cobalt, Drift and some Nameless Default were currently scouting out Retail Row preparing to loot it. You'd think after several seasons of looting this place there's be no supplies left, but in the same vain as any FPS RPG game you'll play, the loot seems to be of the infinitely respawning type. Anyway, while scouting the group noticed something.
Drift: there's more Snow Husks in the area then there were last time.
Catalyst: this is the zombie apocalypse dad, of course there are more.
Cobalt: whatever the amount, one or one million, we know how to avoid them.
Drift: you all remember the plan right?
All: yep.
And so they executed the plan they've been doing for the past several months, where Cobalt and ND#1 go onto the roof of the grocery store and keep look out while the daddy daughter duo (don't get weird with it in the comments) go inside the store and loot everything they possibly can.
While they were on the roof ND#1 asked
ND#1: So you're one of the OGs right?
Cobalt: yeah, why do you ask?
ND#1: what can you tell me about the bunker?
Cobalt: I didn't spend much time in that place actually, I was in there for like what, 4-5 minutes before it was blown to (bleep) by those husk missiles. Legend has it, if you're quiet enough, you can still hear the narrator saying the words "husk missile."
…
(In a quiet tone) husk missile
ND#1: Woah! That's dope.
Cobalt: I know right? Anyway, I was there when we raided the visitors mountain, and I was there to see the rise of the Ice King and the Murder of my dad. After that we were teleported to Lonley Lodge where we built up this base and formed a small army, and now we're here, talking about the past in a recap fashion, as if this isn't a story the readers could easily reread
ND#1: sure they could, but the author wasn't much of a proof reader back then, so honestly this recap seems kinda necessary.
Cobalt: true true
They stood on top of the roof for a couple of minutes before ND#1 spoke up
ND#1: you see husk over there, watch, I'm gonna do a 360 no scope him.
Cobalt: if you do that you'll end up breaking your leg
ND#1: no I won't!
Cobalt: fine, just don't start screaming bloody murder.
ND jumped off the roof and…!
Meanwhile Catalyst and Drift were inside the noms grocery store looting and talking
Catalyst: I still don't get it dad, if we have these cool lightning and teleportation powers, then why don't we use them to fight the Ice King and his goons?
Drift: I keep on telling you, I tried that, and it ended up with me spending a few weeks in the ER. That's how I found out our ER was trash. I ended up looting nothing but bandages, med kits, and shield potions for the next few weeks!
Catalyst: *mutters* and yet it's still pretty trash, *outloud* I guess that makes sense, but with both our powers combined we could take on the Ice King together
Drift: no ok, you don't know how to control your powers yet! it's just too dangerous.
Catalyst sighed. All of a sudden they heard a large *CRACK* followed by the words
ND#1: BLOODY MURDER BLOODY MURDER BLOODY MURDER
All of a sudden Cobalt was dragging ND#1 inside the store.
Cobalt: I TOLD YOU TO NOT SCREAM BLOODY MURDER!!!
ND#1: Ahhhhhh!!!!
Drift: what did y'all do?!
Cobalt: ND tried jumping off the roof and shooting a husk, funnily enough, he hit it. It's just that he broke his leg when he hit the ground.
Catalyst: do you have any idea what you've done
Cobalt: I do! He didn't, which is why he screamed at the end!
The sound of corpses walking started to get louder as the husks began to surround the store.
For a brief moment, they started banging on the walls and then they stopped.
???: COMETH OUT-ITH WITH-ITH YOUR-ITH HANDS-ITH UP-ITH!
With no choice, they complied.
Once they were out, they realized that there were 2 people outside, a female ice knight, and…
Drift: Rusty?
Rust lord: It's X-Lord now actually. That being said, Drift? What are you doing here?
Drift: oh you know, just going on a supply run, trying to provide for the rest of the community.
X lord: Oh the community? Who else is still alive.
Drift: practically everyone who raided The Villain base.
X lord: *a bit down* everyone who raided the villain base except me?
Drift: yeah. Sorry about that by the way, I just didn't want to risk bringing ice king back with us.
X Lord: that's (bull bleep) and you know it. Y'all just left me because I was becoming too much of a burden!
Drift:… WHO THE (BLEEP) TOLD YOU THAT?! Did you not live through those last moments? You were probably the most integral part of that raid! The only reason we couldn't bring you is because you were literally sticking out of ice kings…
Frozen Red Knight: ENOUGH SMALL TALK!! You are under arrest, you will come with us to our base for judgement, if you refuse, we'll kill you!
Drift: yeah I don't think that's gonna happen
Frozen Knight: why do you say that?
Drift: because
Drift outstretched his arms like a zombie and bolts immediately flew out from his finger tips shocking Frozen Knight. It honestly looked epic, like that one Star Wars scene where the senate is yelling out "UNLIMITED POWER!!!"
Noticing that she was in a stunned state, Drift started floating above the ground for a moment, and then flew at high speeds towards Ice Knight, practically tackling her into the house that was behind her. X lord stared at this exchange in awe.
X lord: Holy (bleep), how long has he been able to do that for? Anyway, do the two new characters wanna introduce themselves? Or do y'all want to start fighting?
Catalyst: oh, well I'm catalyst, and I'm the definition of that next generation trope where Im basically a gender swapped more powerful version of my dad. He doesn't think I can control myself, however I disagree.
X lord: Ha! they all say that, don't they? Anyway who are you *points to nd*
ND#1: I'm nameless default 1, but they just call me ND#1. Fun fact, I was originally suppose to die at this point, but the author took a liking to me, so here I am now!
X lord: kewl kewl, well I'm X lord, formerly Rust Lord, I'm cobalts father and I was presumed dead last season, but since no one found my body, that meant I was able to come back!
There was an awkward silence
X lord: well now that the small talk gag has overstayed its welcome, I have one more question, cobalt how's your mother doing?
Cobalt: oh she's fine, she's actually leading our army now.
X lord: makes sense if she has you dressed like that 24/7. Well if you can, tell her that I vouched for y'all to the ice king and that if we do end up killing everyone at your super secret base, we'll spare you both. Anyway, you guys wanna fight now.
ND his gun at X lord while Catalyst put her fists up.
Cobalt: we'll wait maybe we can talk this out?
X lord: No! As I already said, the time for small talk is over! Now it's time for fighting!
X lord got out a six shooter and shot the guns out of ND and Cobalts hands. They both looked bewildered.
X lord: yeah, the boss gave this to me, saying it was the perfect deagle replacement, but it just doesn't feel the same.
ND and Catalyst charged X lord, however right as they were about to punch him simultaneously, X lord did a bit of a combat roll backwards into a street fighter stance.
Being the first to notice this new position, ND ran at X lord and swung a hook at him, however X lord ducked this, and while he was still crouched, he connected an uppercut with ND's jaw making him topple over.
Catalyst chased X lord throwing a straight punch at him, however he side stepped the attack and jumped behind her.
Catalyst immediately turned around and threw her leg at X's head, however he caught it, got a good grip on it, and used the leg to throw Catalyst into the Noms grocery store that was behind him.
X lord turned around to catch a punch to the face from Cobalt. X stumbled back a bit
X lord: oh (bleep) damn it, I think you broke my nose. B-b-but that's fine, I earned that, I wasn't paying attention when I should've been.
Cobalt put his hands up
Cobalt: Dad listen, I don't want to fight you! Can we please just talk?
X lord: fine. Listen kid, I don't want to fight you either, ok? Finding out that you were my son was some of the greatest news of my life, because it meant that I'd have something outside of the Bunker to care for, and now that that's been blown to smithereens, all I have left is you. *extends his hand* So please son, join me!
Cobalt: I'm sorry, but I just can't fight for that man, however you still seem to be pretty much yourself. Why don't you abandon the Ice King and join us instead?
X lord: I'm sorry, I can't do that either. I can't go back to those traitors. I guess this means only one thing.
X and Cobalt put their fists up. Cobalt rushed X and tried to hit him in this face again, however X pulled a Johnny Cage where he ducked while doing splits, and punched Cobalt right in the gonads
Cobalt: AHHHHHHHHHH…. (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPP)
X lord then uppercut Cobalt, causing him to fall
to the ground.
Cobalt: *grunting* have you always been this good at fighting?
X lord: long story short, the new Boss gave all of his goons ice themed powers except me, instead he sort of pulled a Matrix on me, where I went to sleep, and when I woke up, I all of a sudden knew kung fu. Now as for why he didn't give me ice powers, I have a theory that it's because I'm basically me with a darker outfit and an edgier name, meaning that I can betray him at any moment, so now I'm just trying to earn his trust that one day, I might be able to have cool looking ice powers too.
All of a sudden a loud *bzzzt* sound came from the noms store. X lord looked up to see a floating catalyst with pink lightning spewing from her suit.
X lord: HOLY CRAP!!! I've always wanted to fight a Super Saiyan! C'mon let's go
They ran at each other at full speed and… Catalyst one easily. It was a pretty entertaining fight scene that we wanted to show, but X lord lost so badly that he went up to the author and asked him to not put it into the final product because it was just too embarrassing, and the author, being the nice kid he is, obliged.
While those guys were fighting each other, there was another battle going on, the one between the Knight and Drift.
Shortly after being tackled, The Frozen Knight was met with a flurry of electrical punches. She managed to get her legs into a position to where they were on drifts chest. She kicked drift off of her sending him flying about a few feet backwards. She then got up and summoned Her frozen axe pickaxe, and held it to her side as if it where a lightsaber.
As soon as drift was back on his feet Frozen Knight dashed towards him, swinging her pickaxe at him fast and furiously. However before she could even touch him, drift put his arms up as if to block a punch, meaning that most of the abuse was targeted at his forearms. After taking enough hits, Drift separated his arms causing a colossal explosion around him, sending the Knight flying off the block and onto the street. Drift noticed that she was vulnerable on the street, so he took this opportunity to run and attempt to jump on her and try to get into that MMA position he had her in earlier.
However she could tell what was about to happen and did one of those weird reverse arms only backflips they do in movies where she's laying on the ground, she rolled onto her head, put her arms on the ground and pushed, launching herself into the air and into a spider man stance, successfully dodging Drifts advance.
They were in a stand off for a good second before they both ran at each other, Frozen Knight brought her axe above her head and then proceeded to slam it down onto drift, however Drift made an x with his arms catching the axe in mid air. Using this opening, he kicked Frozen Knights chest, knocking her all back into the rock solid wall that was behind her.
Drift ran up to her with his arm up, ready to punch her. However before he could hit her, Frozen Knight got into a hadouken pose and shot out an ice ball at drift freezing him instantly.
Frozen Knight: DADADA!!!
Frozen Knight walked up to the frozen drift and socked him square in the face breaking the ice spell. Drift tried to retaliate by throwing a hook, but his punches were more labored, undoubtably an effect of the spell, meaning that Frozen dodged the hook, grabbed drifts arm, and used it to swing and throw drift back into the general shopping area.
After spending some time in the air, Drift landed in the Taco shop with a hard…
Crashing noises*
Drift tried standing up but right when he was in the stumbling phase of getting back on his feet, Frozen Knight landed, summoned her Ice Axe, and hit drift with it as if it were a base ball bat. The force knocked him into a light pole. Frozen Knight dashed at Drift and continuously whacked him with her axe.
Meanwhile…*
X lord: MERCY MERCY MERCY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE MERCY!!!
Catalyst was on the ground beating X lord to a bloody pulp,
Catalyst: every living breath you take is mercy from me!
X lord: y-yo-yo-you shouldn't make that reference, yyy… you're not…
POWPOWPOW* Catalyst was prepared to connect more punches but she glanced up for a sec and saw that her father was getting his (bleep) pushed in by Frozen Knight.
She couldn't let this happen so she got off of rust lord and started running towards Frozen Knight. After picking up enough momentum she started flying straight at her, however Frozen Knight saw this coming and ducked the on coming attack and as soon as she was able to, she grabbed catalysts ankle and froze her entire body. She used catalysts frozen body like a whip and swung it at drift, causing him to slide a few feet away from the action. She then slammed Catalyst down on the ground.
Frozen Knight: I made a mistake with drift, but I'm not gonna make the same mistake with you!
Frozen Knight placed her palm on the forehead of Catalysts mask and within a few seconds her body started spasming.
X lord was stumbling on his feet when he turned to cobalt and said.
X lord: o-o-o-oh that's not good, u-u-u-you better hurry or else you're girlfriend will get p-p-p-possessed.
Cobalt: SHES NOT MY GIRLFRIEND DAD!
X lord: d-d-d-do you seriously want to have this stereotypical conversation right now or d-d-d-d-do you want to save her?
Cobalt nodded and then started running head first at Frozen Knight. When he was close enough he jumped at her with his arms out, however Frozen Knight looked up and, (this being the 3rd time someone's tried to tackle her) ducked, however cobalt smoothly turned the miss into a combat role, he turned around pulled out a tac smg and opened fire on Frozen Knight.
X lord: w-w-w-wow, people are just… pulling (bleep) out of their (bleep-es) now are they?
Of course the bullets had no effect on her because she's an OP henchmen (or woman I guess), so of course they had no effect. She let go of catalyst and slowly walked towards Cobalt. She grabbed cobalts SMG in her hands, froze and then shattered it.
Frozen: did you really expect that to work.
Cobalt: *saddened* no… but then again, it was just a distraction.
Cobalt pointed behind her, Frozen Knight looked back confused and then saw that a tired looking Catalyst had her arms in the air and before she knew it, all of Knights enemies on the battlefield disappeared.
X lord: w-w-w-wow, th-th-th-that's the same move they used to abandon me!
Frozen Knight ran up to X lord.
Frozen Knight: why did you warn them!
X lord: j-j-j-just think for sec. H-h-h-had you infected her right here and n-n-n-now, she would've had to attack them from the outside. S-S-S-Since she's slowly being infected now, when she's fully infected, she'll be inside their base, where they're most vulnerable.
Frozen: that- well- that's a great plan. How do you have a better understanding of my powers than I do?
X lord: because I'm the ex protagonist, I still have some plot powers. Without me they would've killed you, now come on, we need to report this to the boss.
They both started walking towards Polar Peak before X passed out because there's only so many punches the face can take before it stops and asks…
Face: why am I stilling holding on?
meanwhile*
The group dropped down on their knees (except drift who was laying unconscious) right in front of Lonley Lodge. There was a long silence before someone spoke up.
Cobalt: well that sure was… something wasn't it?
Catalyst: yeah yeah *chuckle* it was
Cobalt: everyone ok.
ND#1: my pride and reputation with the fans is a bit wounded, but besides that I'm sorta fine.
Catalyst picked her father up on her back, and they all went inside the base.
Catalyst took drift to the ER (or as I like to put it, that shack that has a bed and some bandages) while cobalt and ND#1 went to report the run to Grill Sargent who was currently in the big watchtower that… well towered over the rest of Lonley Lodge.
After a long walk up them (bleepen) stairs, they made it to the top and knocked on the Cabins door.
Cobalt: Yo Uncle Grill!
Grill: Oh (Bleep!), uh I wasn't expecting y'all, come in come in.
They walked inside.
Grill: please, help yourself to a slurp juice!
Cobalt and ND#1 both grabbed a slurp juice and sat down on the lawn chairs he had up there.
Grill: so, you have anything new to report?
Cobalt: well you know how the Ice King has these Ice Powered henchmen running around right?
Grill: right?
Cobalt: well we discovered that one of them happened to be Rust Lord.
short pause*
Grill: what?
ND#1: yeah, he came back from dead and instead of having Ice Powers he knows how to use hand to hand combat very effectively.
Cobalt: also he's pissed at us for his near death…
Grill: That… *sigh* any idea as to why he's back or pissed?
Cobalt: it seems that the Ice King got to him both physically and mentally. I just hope we could talk him down before he does something he'll regret.
Grill: *sigh* yeah I do to. Anyway, is there anything else you want to tell me?
Cobalt: we had a run in with Frozen Knight and found out that she can infect people because she nearly infected catalyst.
Grill: O.O
Cobalt: Don't worry! We stopped before she could even get started, only her mask was changed really!
Grill: good, we can't loose anyone else, considering we don't have that much of an army to begin with… so anything else to report? Any new supplies?
Cobalt: no, the battle took everything out of us.
Grill: *sigh* Ok, well if that's all, you're free to go.
Cobalt and ND#1 walked out of Grills "Office," and over to the make shift barracks they had set up in the lodge.
Meanwhile*
Catalyst and her Mother Brite Bomber (because of course its (bleepen) Brite Bomber) were at the ER checking on drift and discussing the days events.
Brite Bomber: it's stuff like this that makes me worried about being attacked by the Ice King. I've seen what your father could do first hand, and if one of his henchmen could do this to him, lord knows what would happen to the base of an entire army attacked!
Catalyst: *sigh* we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, right now though, I am beat. I think I'm going to go to bed.
Brite Bomber: ok sweetie! I'm going to stay here for a bit longer to see if he hopefully wakes up.
Catalyst nodded and headed towards the barracks.
When she entered the small wooden cabin placed her gear in her designated cubby, and laid down in her bed.
However unbeknownst to everyone at that moment, Catalysts costume and POV were starting to look at bit more… colder.
A/N: thanks for sticking with this. Once I'm done I might make a separate remaster of this, so it'll be easier to read. Writing tips are appreciated!