SpongeBob SliderPants
Episode 2: March of the Defenders of Bikini Bottom
(The episode opens on a shot of Patrick's statue, bathed in the sunrise. We then pan to the sliders gawking silently at the statue.)
Squidward: (skips a beat) What kind of world is this? Patrick!? The supreme leader of Bikini Bottom! Not even in my worst nightmares could I have dreamed this! (Squidward starts hyperventilating.)
Sandy: (A few nervous beads of sweat fall off her brow.) This ain't my cup of tea either Squidward… What kind of Patrick could have led a successful revolution against King Neptune?
SpongeBob: What kind of ideals would Patrick even be championing?
Plankton: (In a deadpan tone) If I had to guess based on those slogans he made as my marketer, his philosophy can probably be summed up as Patrick is fum… I wouldn't be too worried about Patrick, it's a world that would follow him that worries me.
Sandy: Yer probably right Plankton. I figure we should find someplace to lay low until this timer finishes charging. After that last slide… (Sandy checks the timer.) We've got about thirteen hours til we can safely slide again.
Squidward: So… anyone got any idea of where we can (air quotes) lay low.
SpongeBob: (excited) Oh! Maybe we could go to my pineapple! It'd be like a sleepover! We could play games, eat snacks, tell scary stories…
Squidward: Why would we ever want to do that?
SpongeBob: The way I see it, Patrick may still be my friend in this world. If so, then that means we can just hide there right under his nose until we can leave. It should be nice, warm, and away from prying eyes, especially down in places like my library.
Squidward: Even if all that was true… (In a sullen tone) Where are we even going to find your house? It's not like we even know where we are…
Sandy: Well… (Sandy shuffles through her backpack and pulls out the acorn drone from the last episode.) we could use this here drone I packed to get a scallop's eye view. Let me just set it up.
(Sandy adjusts a few knobs and activates the drone, sending it shooting off into the sky. We get a good view of this Bikini Bottom from near the surface of the ocean before the drone zooms in on a giant palace made of rock. Right beside it is two smaller but more familiar buildings, Squidward's Moai house and SpongeBob's Pineapple. Both are almost identical to how they look back in their home dimension. The drone then flies back to Sandy and she turns it off before packing it back up.)
Squidward: At least it looks like home, compared to everything else around here.
SpongeBob: So, does that mean you want to spend the night?
Squidward: No… But I would feel safer not sleeping next to Patrick's palace, so sure…
SpongeBob: (Talking to Sandy and Plankton) How about you two?
Plankton: Ehh… Why not. Not like anyone else has any suggestions.
Sandy: Sure! I guess it's a date!
Plankton: Let's get going. It's going to be a long walk…
(The sliders begin making their way towards SpongeBob's house, unaware that just behind them, the statue's eyes begin glowing red. We zoom into the Patrick statue's face and see that the eyes are really cameras. Afterwards, we cut to a dark room full of monitors, each monitor focused on surveilling Bikini Bottom and keeping an eye on its citizens. As we slowly zoom out from the monitors, we swivel over to a familiar shadowy figure watching the monitors with a single watchful eye. The shadows fade and we get a clear look at the Plankton of this world. He looks almost identical to the Plankton we know apart from a Stalin-like moustache on his lips. He looks bored, until one of the monitors catches his attention.)
Comrade Plankton: (intrigued) Karen, zoom into the park feed.
Karen: (yawns) Sure honey… (Karen, who in this world makes up Plankton's monitoring system, selects the park screen and puts it in full screen. The view of the sliders walking away from the statue is seen by Comrade Plankton, but our Plankton is obscured from view.)
Comrade Plankton: (shocked by what he sees on the screen) Karen! Are you seeing this! It's the resistance's leader in broad daylight! We've finally got them! Karen, call the Chairman, tell him the poriferan is in sight! I've got to assemble the blue guard at once! (Plankton runs off.)
Karen: Ok Plankton… (sighs) Looks like it's going to be another long day…
(We cut back to the sliders, trying to quickly pass through town without drawing attention to themselves.)
Plankton: So why are we waltzing through the square again?
Sandy: We agreed to take the quickest path to the pineapple, right? This is it… Don't worry though, we'll be out of here in just a moment.
Plankton: (smugly expressing surprise) Tell that to those guys…
(Plankton points to a mixed group of fish and robots dressed in military garb staring at them. One of the guards in front lifts his fin and unfurls it, revealing Comrade Plankton standing on his palm.)
Comrade Plankton: (addressing the sliders) Greetings rebel scum! You may recognize me as First Comrade Plankton, but despite all my titles, I'm just like you. I only want what's best for you, so now that you're surrounded, I just want to make one final offer. Surrender your leader and I'll make sure the rest of you only get a little bit of reeducation. (Faux sincerity) Now, do we have a deal?
Squidward: (turning to Plankton) Welp, I guess we know what you're up to in this universe Plankton…
Sandy: (addresses Comrade Plankton) Um… I think you've got the wrong group. We're not rebels. We're just out of towners traveling home. We'll be out of your antenna if you just let us go.
Comrade Plankton: Oh, you silly squirrel. (Speaking frankly) Sandy, I know it's you. I thought you had left town long ago but I guess a Texan doesn't know when to give up. Now please, just surrender SpongeBob, and the rest of you can go.
Sandy: Look, I've already said no and I ain't going to give up SpongeBob just because yer asking nicely. If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you got!
Comrade Plankton: (mocking) Then I guess the four of you are all going to the gulag together. How touching… Blue Guard, capture them!
(A fight breaks out. The blue guard attempts to rush them but is blocked by SpongeBob with a bit of impromptu karate. This gives Sandy and Plankton enough time to get a few weapons of choice out of the supply pack. Even Squidward takes down a few guards after panicking for a second. Despite their efforts, there's just too many blue guards, and they are captured.)
Comrade Plankton: (after the guards capture the sliders) You could've been spared the gulag, but I guess it's the fate of all traitors to Patrickism to end up working for the common good one way or another. (Turns to address the blue guard) Rejoice, you defenders of Bikini Bottom! Today, we have captured our most insidious nemesis. Without the yellow pored bane that is SpongeBob darkening our streets, we shall finally rule the seven seas triumphant above all our former rivals! No more shall tyrants like (spits) King Neptune rule arbitrarily, no more shall greedy barons like Eugene Krabs control the means of production, no more shall terrorists like SpongeBob SquarePants threaten our way of life, no, today is the dawn of a new day! A day when all peoples shall be free, prosperous, and happy under the wisdom of our dear leader and friend, Patrick Star! (The blue guard cheer with a loud voice like thunder.) Now my friends, I would like to ask our last enemies here if they have anything they would like to say for the history books. (Turning to the sliders and begins mocking them) Any last words, I'm sure future generations would love to know what you four were thinking as you fought for the wrong side of history? Go on, tell us how you feel to be the first witnesses to Patrickism final triumph?
Squidward: (deadpan) I'd like to tell SpongeBob here that you were so wrong about Patrick still being your friend. (Laughs despairingly)
Plankton: I don't know about the rest of you, but watching all this has been a dream come true! It feels good to finally win, even when I'm losing!
Comrade Plankton: I'm not sure what you're going on about, strangely familiar protozoan, but your attitude tells me that you may have a future as my assistant…
Sandy: Honestly, I'm not sure what's goin' on around here, but I know that one day even this empire will fall, as is the fate of all regimes. I may not live to see it but I will hold my hopes out for it until my dying breath.
Comrade Plankton: That can be arranged… Now SpongeBob, as the leader of the resistance, tell me your thoughts, or (begins yelling) I'LL DESTROY YOU RIGHT HERE AND NOW! (Stops yelling) Ahem… Lost my composure for a second. Now go on…
SpongeBob: I may be a simple sponge but as long as good exists in this or any world, I believe that whatever fight this is will continue. This war is not over Plankton, you've just deluded yourself into thinking this is a war that you can win. Regardless of what happens to me, good will prevail one day.
Comrade Plankton: Typical SpongeBob… Still thinking in terms of childlike good and evil. I thought you would've grown out of that by now but I guess you just can't teach an old sponge new tricks. Regardless, thank you all for your time. I'll make sure to keep an eye on you once you've gotten acquainted with your new home, the gulag! (chuckles) Guards, take them…
(The ground begins to rumble beneath their feet. Sewer caps along the street open and a multitude of sea creatures pours out onto the streets. A new fight breaks out, the true resistance has arrived. At the head of this new resistance, is this world's SpongeBob SquarePants, dressed like Solid Snake from the Metal Gear series.)
Rebel SpongeBob: (yelling to the members of the resistance) Goofy Goobers! Take out those helmet heads and save those civvies!
(The resistance pushes back the blue guard and rescues the sliders. Once the sliders are secured, the resistance begins making a retreat towards the sewers. Comrade Plankton barks orders at his troops, but is unable to recapture the sliders. However, in the firefight, Rebel SpongeBob is shot in the leg before he can safely escape with his troops.)
Resistance Member: SpongeBob, are you alright?
Rebel SpongeBob: (Wincing in pain, begins limping) Yeah, it's just a grazing blow. Let's just get back to base, soldier.
(The resistance finishes retreating into the sewers, leaving Comrade Plankton fuming in anger. We cut to Rebel SpongeBob after his return to base, which is in the fortified remains of what once was Goofy Goober's, and he is looking worse for wear. A medic is checking him over and shakes their head when they finish. We don't hear what is then said between Rebel SpongeBob and the medic, but the medic soon leaves the room in tears. They soon return, bringing SpongeBob to meet with Rebel SpongeBob privately before exiting the room.)
Rebel SpongeBob: (beckoning SpongeBob weakly) Come here. I need to ask you something.
SpongeBob: (gulps) What would that be… And are you ok…
Rebel SpongeBob: No, SpongeBob… I'm not ok…
SpongeBob: (shocked) How… how did you realize I'm you?
Rebel SpongeBob: Heh… How can I forget who I used to be. Look, frankly I don't know how you four came to be here. The Squidward I knew is either dead or still locked in that Neptune forsaken gulag, Sandy went home years ago, I've never seen Plankton without that moustache of his, and you look just like me… (sullenly) At least before all this happened…
SpongeBob: What… did happen?
Rebel SpongeBob: (wistfully) It feels like a lifetime ago… The day Patrick came up with that (mocking air quotes) philosophy of his, no one took him seriously. Personally, I thought Patrick was just in one of his moods when he stormed into the Krusty Krab and started giving one of his now world-famous speeches. Within a few weeks, all that had changed. He grew a following of people from all around Bikini Bottom and somehow, he turned Plankton to his side. I don't know what must have gone through his mind or what Patrick could have said, but within hours Plankton had bulldozed both the Krusty Krab and the Chum Bucket. In their place he built Patrick an army. A factory producing both robots and weapons for the sole benefit of Patrick's growing following. Bikini Bottom was the first to fall but far from the last. I wish I could say I did something back then but all I did patiently wait for the chaos to pass, hoping to wake up like this was some bad dream.
SpongeBob: What changed your mind?
Rebel SpongeBob: I had to do something, when I saw the blue guard storm Neptune's Palace and drag them out in chains. I never heard what happened to them, but just seeing their so-called victory on tv filled me with an emotion I never felt before. A desire to right the wrongs of a world gone mad, to prove that this little sponge can make a difference. And for my little resistance and the people we've helped, I have. Sadly, I fear I may have felt this way too late.
SpongeBob: I know what you're talking about, that overwhelming desire is what I call being a hero. I felt that too back when I saved Mr. Krabs by traveling with my Patrick across the ocean to return King Neptune's crown.
Rebel SpongeBob: That sounds like it. (coughs) I just wish I felt like it… That feeling is why I had to talk to you. I need you to be a hero again SpongeBob. The fate of our world depends on it.
SpongeBob: Why? What could I have that you don't?
Rebel SpongeBob: Isn't it obvious… Your health… I'm not doing well and the doctor just told me that I might not make it through the night. I can't do what needs to be done. That's why I need you to be me, just this once. I need you to lead the Goofy Goobers tonight on what may be our most important mission. I need you to lead them to Patrick so that just maybe we can get some leverage in this war.
SpongeBob: You… want me to capture Patrick?
Rebel SpongeBob: I know how you feel. In some ways, I still consider him to be my friend and I know you do too. But this is a fight I fear that we can't keep up for much longer. Every week I'm losing people to that factory of war that Plankton calls his gulag and I know that it won't be long before they find this base. Frankly, I'm not sure how they haven't found it already, though once they find this one, I know we won't have the chance to find another. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and this is our last resort.
SpongeBob: I understand… but I don't want to hurt him.
Rebel SpongeBob: You won't have to; for our plan to work Patrick must be left unharmed. He, along with Plankton, are the two lynchpins that keep this war going and by taking one of them hostage we may just be able to get the other to agree to some form of ceasefire. Plankton is too well armed to try this plan out on him though, so it has to be Patrick.
SpongeBob: I'll do it, but how do I do it.
Rebel SpongeBob: The plan's already been made and is well known by the entire resistance movement. My second in command, and former boating school instructor, Miss Puff already knows the plan by heart. Once I tell her that you'll be going instead of me, she'll be able to guide you along and teach you what you need to do.
SpongeBob: If that's so, why do you need me to lead and not her.
Rebel SpongeBob: (hacking) Because… I've been planning on leading them on this mission for weeks now. Miss Puff is a capable leader and she'll do just fine without me, but if word got out to the rest of the resistance that I'm in critical condition, they may be too distracted by that knowledge to carry out the mission. I really need you to inspire them with our trademark optimism and lead them as the heart of this operation if we've got a chance at finishing this. I know you can do that, especially after I heard that speech you gave Plankton from the sewers this morning. So please, do it for all the good people still left in this world.
SpongeBob: (salutes Rebel SpongeBob) I will, SpongeBob…
Rebel SpongeBob: Thank you. I'll get Miss Puff the details of this arrangement shortly. Afterwards, I need to rest. I hope to see you again, SpongeBob. And if I can't, make sure to say hi to Patrick for me…
(We cut to the sliders back together in the main dining area of Goofy Goober's. They are chatting with various worried expressions on their faces.)
Squidward: (annoyed) Why should we stay any longer for these people!?
Sandy: (exasperated) Because we'd want the same kinda help if the tables were turned, why don't you get this?
Plankton: I'm with Squidward on this one. What could we possibly gain by sticking around when we can just go once the timer charges in a few hours?
SpongeBob: (angrily slams his fist on the table) We've already gained our freedom thanks to the sacrifices these people have made for us! If anything, we owe them this! We'll still be able to go tomorrow once this mission is done and none of you have to come. All I ask of you is to just wait here until we come back with Patrick, then we can leave.
Sandy: You ain't getting me out of this fight SpongeBob so count me in. And Plankton, I figure we could use our own Plankton in this fight should your counterpart try to take us down again. You want to prove you're the better Plankton or are ya cool admitting he's a league above ya?
Plankton: (upset) Now wait just a second! (Plankton jumps onto the table to make himself seen) I'm the one that mind controlled King Neptune himself and effortlessly conquered the seven seas in a few days!
Sandy: (mocking) That just sounds like a blowfish's way to try and save face. You want to prove you're still the biggest baddest Plankton in the sea? Then ya better come on! Now, how 'bout you Squidward?
Squidward: (joking) The only reason I'm coming with you nitwits is because when this mission kills you, I going to grab the timer, slide home, and write a sonnet in your memory.
(Squidward laughs, Miss Puff walks over to the table and addresses SpongeBob. She is dressed in military-grade camo with makeup like her Mad Max form in the SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water.)
Miss Puff: So, you're the one I need to train?
SpongeBob: (Nervous) Yes… I hope that's ok mam.
Miss Puff: (chuckles) Don't worry SpongeBob RebelPants… (serious tone) This is going to be fun! Are you ready?
(SpongeBob gulps. We cut to a few hours later in the dead of night. The rebels have made their move and are just outside of Patrick's palace. SpongeBob is dressed like Rebel SpongeBob and is trying his best to act like him. Accompanying him is Miss Puff, the other sliders also dressed in camo, and a few other resistance members. SpongeBob turns to address the rest of the resistance gathered nearby.)
SpongeBob: Now I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not sure what we might find inside, and I don't have some big speech prepared to inspire you. (These remarks produce a few odd looks from some resistance members.) All I can say is that today we will bring Patrick to justice and with this victory this war of ours will finally have an end in sight! If you are afraid of what might be behind these doors, I won't force you to stay and fight, instead you may go back to base and stand guard. Otherwise, if you want to see the look on Patrick's face as we storm his palace, then stay and fight! So, friends… Are you ready?
Assembled Resistance Army: (shouting as one) I'm ready!
SpongeBob: (yells back) Then let's show Patrick what we're made of!
(Plankton sets off a few explosives wired to the sealed doors of the palace, blowing them off their hinges. SpongeBob leads the charge into the palace as the resistance storms in behind. After a montage of searching various rooms of the palace, the resistance finally finds Patrick, sleeping peacefully on top of his original rock home. The palace may have been built around his home but you can tell he still feels comfortable with that old rock. The resistance drags Patrick off his rock to SpongeBob. Patrick is still asleep.)
SpongeBob: (whispering in a confused manner) Patrick?
Patrick: (wakes up in a panic) What! Who are you! What are you doing in my house! (Blinks, then recognition hits his face) SpongeBob! What are you doing here? (Patrick runs over to SpongeBob and gives him a bear hug.) I've missed you buddy! Why haven't you visited?
SpongeBob: (even more confused) Umm… Patrick… (SpongeBob pulls himself out of the hug.) I'm not sure what you think is happening here but we came here to capture you.
Patrick: (confused) Capture? Why? Is this how you treat a friend who you haven't seen in months?
SpongeBob: (embarrassed) Umm… No! We came here to capture you because you're the power mad dictator and we're the resistance trying to bring you to justice…
Patrick: (realization) Oh… That mess again… (laughs) I had almost forgotten about all that! (Laughs even harder, confusing SpongeBob more.)
SpongeBob: What are you talking about?
Patrick: (continues laughing) This whole Patrickism thing! I can't believe this prank has gone on for so long! It feels like yesterday that Chairman Meow came and told me this whole plan! (Rolls on the floor laughing)
SpongeBob: (upset) Whose Chairman Meow?!
Patrick: (gets serious) You… don't know? That Gary's nickname he made up for this whole Patrickism thing. He said he was going to make me famous if I just followed along and gave a few speeches every now and then. It's been a fun ride; our little group has had. Gary, Plankton, and me, all working together to craft this hilarious joke!
Nat Peterson: (getting angry) What is wrong with you! You've taken over the world and think this is all some kind of sick joke!
(Nat Peterson aka. Incidental 41, who in this universe is a resistance member, tries to attack Patrick, but SpongeBob stops him.)
SpongeBob: No! Don't hurt him. We've got to find out what he talking about and what is really going on. Solder, please return to your post. (Turns to Patrick) Now please, Patrick… For old times' sake, tell me everything you know about this… joke called Patrickism.
French Narrator: (title card also reads) Sixteen minutes later…
Patrick: And that should cover everything up until now.
SpongeBob: You're telling me that Patrickism was created by Gary as a means to bring 'equality' between all people, including pets? That Plankton was recruited by Gary to enforce his will on any that don't comply?
Patrick: (shrugs) That's right.
SpongeBob: And you were chosen by Gary to be a figurehead for his movement? Why?
Patrick: I don't know, I guess I just have natural charisma. But yes, I am the figurehead that Patrickism is named after. It's a nice life, I have to make a few public appearances every now and then, but most of the time I just get to stick to my palace and have every desire of mine attended to during the day. And at night I get to sleep peacefully, safely guarded by Karen's state of the art security system.
(We zoom into Patrick's brain and see a few gears turning. After zooming back out, his expression changes to one of realization and then panic.)
Patrick: Oh Neptune! The security system!
SpongeBob: Wait… What security system?!
Patrick: This palace has a silent alarm system that triggers when anyone without clearance enters. This sends a signal to Plankton telling him to send the guard! We've been talking so long that can't be more than a matter of minutes til they arrive. SpongeBob, you, and your friends need to leave now! I don't need to tell you this but Plankton won't hesitate to take all of you out, so just go before it's too…
(At that exact moment, an explosion goes off outside. Seconds later, Comrade Plankton is heard speaking through a megaphone outside.)
Comrade Plankton: Resistance members, your brazen defiance of our law ends here. Drop your weapons and come out with your hands up, and we will consider sparing your meaningless lives. Otherwise, you shall face my wraith! This is your final warning!
Patrick: (remorseful) Sorry SpongeBob… I guess this is it for you and your resistance friends. I wish this could have gone differently.
(Patrick begins to loudly cry at the thought of his friend's impending demise. Plankton then jumps out of one of SpongeBob's holes and slaps Patrick.)
Plankton: (annoyed) Get a hold of yourself. Your army's not going to get rid of us that easily. (Turns to SpongeBob) Listen oh great (air quotes) 'resistance leader', for I've got a plan! While you two were blabbing about the past or something, I've been thinking about how to best take my counterpart out should he show up again. Now listen closely SpongeBob, because your actions are going to mean the difference between us getting out of here and certain death.
French Narrator: (title card says) Ninety seconds of briefing later…
(SpongeBob is running through the halls of the palace. We don't hear what he says to several members of the resistance due to the Grass Skirt Chase music playing during this montage. We do get to see during this scene the resistance splintering into groups and taking cover in various rooms of the palace. We then see SpongeBob, Miss Puff, and a few other resistance members heading towards the front of the palace where the blue guard has already entered. During this part of the chase sequence, we see SpongeBob yells at Comrade Plankton but all we hear is dolphin noises. We then turn to see Comrade Plankton and notice whatever SpongeBob said made him boil over in red hot anger. Comrade Plankton gives the orders to pursue them and the real chase begins. As the entirety of the blue guard gives pursuit, SpongeBob and those besides him dodge projectiles and twist and turn through the maze-like halls of the palace. Finally at the end of the chase scene, the music ends as SpongeBob and the rest enter and lock the door to Patrick's bedroom. Comrade Plankton kicks the door to no avail.)
Comrade Plankton: (seething with anger) BLUE GUARD! I order you to open this door right now or you all are going to the gulag by sunrise!
(The guards in front bust down the door. Inside, they find a scene that horrifies them. A large group of resistance members, weapons aimed squarely at them. In the center of the room is Patrick, their dear leader, tied to a chair that's being flanked by Sandy and Squidward, both of them with a malicious smile on their faces. Worst of all is a sight that makes some of the blue guard faint on the spot, floating in the air in a larger-than-life mech suit of himself, is Plankton holding a gun to the back of Patrick's head.)
Comrade Plankton: (in a panic) Just what are you doing to Patrick?!
Plankton: (in a mocking tone) You should know, Plankton. I'm making a point. Now what was it you said? Oh right… (yelling at the blue guard) Drop your weapons! And we will consider sparing your meaningless lives…
Comrade Plankton: (slightly less worried) You're bluffing, you couldn't possibly hope to win this fight. Even if you do shoot Patrick, he'll just regenerate. All you've done is earn my squad's undying wraith. We outnumber you three to one and when we finish with you no one will remember your name. (He puffs out his chest.)
Plankton: (shrugs) Yeah, I thought you'd say that. After all, you and I are very alike. So that's why this gun is just a decoy. (Plankton throws the gun at the blue guard across the room. One of the blue guards picks it up and finds it to be empty.) My real weapon is this. (Plankton pulls out a needle filled with green liquid with skull and crossbones on the glass.) This stuff here is enough concentrated poison to kill a giant clam in thirty seconds or less. (Plankton drops a drop of it on a nearby plant, causing it to shrivel and die in a second.) Best part is, it spreads so fast that even if you were to cut Patrick to bits to stop the poison, it would be enough to prevent any sort of regeneration. You take another step closer and Patrickism dies with this nitwit! So, what will it be, his death or your unconditional surrender?
Comrade Plankton: (nearly on the verge of a breakdown) So what… He's just a figurehead! (This causes an audible gasp from the blue guard.) His death would just make him a martyr. So do your worst because… (He pulls out a big red button.) with a press of this here button I'll activate the onsite explosives and turn this grand palace into an even grander tomb for Patrick! (He begins laughing maniacally.) I guess it will just be you and me that would be alive to unbury ourselves from the rubble! (The blue guard begins to panic and many make a mad dash for the exit.) Once I emerge, I will wait for you to emerge and then strangle you insignificant green speck till you turn as blue as that guy! (He points at Squidward.)
Squidward: (offended) Hey!
Sandy: (smug) You can say all that, but us Texans ain't afraid of death, so go ahead and do it…
(Comrade Plankton presses the button causing all the remaining blue guard to flinch. Nothing happens. He presses the button again. Crickets. He starts furiously mashing the button as our Plankton begins laughing manically.)
Plankton: (uncontrollable laughter) You fool! You really think I'd fall for the old self-destruct button trick! It's the oldest one in the book! (Continues laughing) I don't think you've noticed, but in your haste to break down that door you fell right for my trap! You walked right through that EMP field I set up and it fried that stupid button of yours! Who's the baddest Plankton now Sandy! That's right, I am! (Continues laughing maniacally)
(Comrade Plankton, now broken, screams in sheer panic and makes a run for the exit. He's stopped as the rest of the resistance, with captured blue guards in tow, emerge from the various side rooms and block the hallway in front of him. Comrade Plankton raises his hands up in surrender as the resistance points their weapons at him. Plankton enters the hallway.)
Plankton: Oops, did I forget to mention our army that outnumbers your pathetic squad now that most of them have deserted you? I guess I did.
Comrade Plankton: (turns to Plankton with a look of realization) How did I not see it before? You're me, except without my 'stache? How did you defeat me? I had the armies and you just a lowly resistance force? How?
Plankton: (smug) That a simple answer. I'm the superior version of us; after all, I've never played second fiddle to a snail. (Plankton laughs at him.)
French Narrator: (title card says) The next morning…
(We pan through the Goofy Goober's and see several makeshift cells filled with blue guards, being guarded by members of the resistance. We pan to Comrade Plankton trapped in a glass candy jar, with Miss Puff and several resistance members keeping a close eye on him.)
Comrade Plankton: (banging on the jar) Give me my phone back or so help me I'll…
(His voice then gets incomprehensible as the resistance laughs at him. We then see our SpongeBob talking to Patrick elsewhere in Goofy Goober's.)
SpongeBob: Thanks Patrick for helping us out back there!
Patrick: I'm just glad to help a pal, even if you're not my SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Yeah, sorry for misleading you like that… At least you knew that that so called poison that Plankton had was just weedkiller.
Patrick: (laughing) It was hard to act terrified knowing what that stuff was…
Sandy: (passing by) Y'all do know Plankton wasn't lying, it may have just been weed killer but there was enough in there to kill ya if he had injected it.
SpongeBob & Patrick: (sounding serious) Oh…
(They both begin bawling over in laughter as Sandy rolls her eyes. We then move to Rebel SpongeBob, who against the odds has survived the night and is now navigating around in a wheelchair, talking on a teeny tiny phone. This phone, which is Comrade Plankton's phone, allows him to call Gary.)
Gary: (On the other end of the phoneline) Meow. Hiss hiss…
Rebel SpongeBob: For the last time Gary, I'm not going to call you Chairman Meow! We both know that's not your name.
Gary: (upset) Hiss mew?
Rebel SpongeBob: (apologetic) I know, sorry Gar-bear. I'm just still so shocked to learn this is what you've been up to. You know I thought you were dead…
Gary: (sad) Meow mew…
Rebel SpongeBob: Yeah, I'm just glad I was wrong. Speaking of being wrong, I'm sorry about what happened.
Gary: (curious, wanting him to say more) Meow meow, Meow?
Rebel SpongeBob: You know what I'm talking about Gary… I'm shouldn't have made you go to that pet show, I should've realized you hated it and just taken you home. Instead, I pushed you too hard and even after you won, I understand why you would resent me after that. I just want you to know you could have told me instead keeping your feelings hidden and starting a new world order; it would have made all this so much simpler…
Gary: (tragic understanding) meow…
Rebel SpongeBob: I'm just glad we get to talk again now. Thank you for agreeing to this peace summit next week, even under the circumstances of my team capturing Patrick and Plankton.
Gary: (slightly happier) Meow meow!
Rebel SpongeBob: Yeah Gary, I look forward to seeing you again. I don't know where this world of ours will go from here, but I hope we can find some sort of common ground. Who knows, maybe your insights on the nature of people-pet relations will continue growing even in a post-Patrickism world. I still don't approve of you taking over the world but I know that was at least one good thing to come out of this.
Gary: (thanking and saying bye) Mew mew! Meow!
Rebel SpongeBob: Bye Gary, see you next week!
(Gary hangs up and Rebel SpongeBob goes over to where the sliders are.)
Rebel SpongeBob: Come on you four! I need you up on stage in five.
(We then cut to the sliders walking up to the side stage, waiting to join Rebel SpongeBob and Miss Puff who are already there.)
Rebel SpongeBob: (Talking to the resistance audience) I'd like to introduce you to the four who joined us just yesterday, and who without their help, we could not have taken this last step towards this war's end! Say hello to… the Sliders! (The sliders walk up onstage to the resistance's cheers.) Now I know what some of you are thinking, (points to SpongeBob) that young sponge over there looks just like me, so let me get this out of the way and tell you that yes, it was this fellow here that led you in and out of Patrick's mansion. (The crowd cheers.) Thank you, young sponge, for leading our resistance in my stead. (The two Sponges shake hands.) Now, I'd love to personally reward you four for your contributions, because without your tech, plans, presence, and love for others, we wouldn't be standing here today. However, I have nothing I can give that you four don't already have, so all I can offer is my thanks. (Turns to speak to resistance) I also want to thank all of you, each and every one of you for your support in this long fight. Now I hope we can soon celebrate the end of Patrickism, but I know before that these four need to get going. So, if you all can give them a big round of applause as they head off on the next step of their journey, I'd appreciate it. (The resistance applauds the four, before Sandy holds up a hand to speak.)
Sandy: Thank y'all for taking care of us during our brief stay here. I hope one day we can return and see how y'all change the world. We wish y'all the best in whatever your futures' hold.
(The crowd cheers louder than before as the sliders wave and exit the stage. Sandy picks up the timer, looks at the world's ID, and writes it down on a tablet device on her suit's sleeve. She calls the world Patrickism World.)
Sandy: (turns to the other sliders) This has been an interesting adventure, but I guess it's time for us to get on home. I think I can speak for all of us when I say I'm exhausted. So, SpongeBob, care to do the honors and get the universe coordinate list out of the pack so we can go home?
SpongeBob: (fishes through pack) Hmm… Where is it?
(We flash back to the Ice World and see SpongeBob leaving the Krusty Krab with Plankton as the ice tornado hits. Time stops, we zoom onto Mr. Krabs' desk, then pan up to see that the list of universes is on it. We see several titles for worlds on that list, including Your World, My World, and Bikini Bottom Baseline. Of all these worlds, only Bikini Bottom Baseline's ID is legible, the ID is 19610821, or Stephen Hillenburg's birthday. We zoom back out and see that as the portal closes, the paper is swept up by the ice tornado and swept away. We then cut back to SpongeBob.)
SpongeBob: (with a look of shock) Oh no… (meekly) I've lost them…
Squidward: (Yelling in panic) YOU WHAT!
SpongeBob: I… must have left them back in that ice world. I'm sorry…
(The Sliders share a moment of silence as they think about losing home.)
Squidward: (subdued anger) I can't believe it; you left our only chance home back on that ice box… I… can't believe I'll never see home again…
Sandy: (sullen) Squidward, dwelling on this isn't going to help…
Squidward: (upset) And why not… Why can't I lament for the home I knew all my life… Ripped away from me so suddenly. (On the verge of tears) Why should I calm down, when we all know full well we'll never see home again!
SpongeBob: I really am sorry… I… (begins crying)
Squidward: (tries to comfort SpongeBob) I know SpongeBob, I know…
Plankton: (With a tear in his eye) This can't be it, can it?
Squidward: (openly crying) What can I say… None of us will ever get to see our friends and family again, we'll be lost, wandering until the day we die, and no one back home will ever know what happened to us…
Sandy: (Words choked with tears) Look, I know this don't look good, but we can't give up hope. There's always a chance that if we just keep sliding through the multiverse, that one day we might stumble upon home or meet someone that can take us home. The odds may be against us but I know during our lives we've made it through worse circumstances. I know this may be small comfort for y'all, but I'm glad to know that together we can get through this journey. I'm sorry I took us on this trip. Take all the time y'all need, we can start this journey home when y'all are ready…
(The screen cuts to black after we see the four sliders begin to break down into mournful tears. We see the word Denial appear on the screen.)
French Narrator: Meanwhile back home…
(We cut to the Chum Bucket's lab to see Karen pacing around.)
Karen: (with a worried expression) What's Plankton up to, he's never been gone this long without having boasted about some evil plot beforehand?
(We cut to Mr. Krabs' office and see Mr. Krabs talking on the phone. The individual on the other end, a worker at the Krusty Krab 2, babbles out something incoherent in a panicked tone before Mr. Krabs replies.)
Mr. Krabs: Yer saying Mr. SquarePants hasn't shown up to manage the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krill? I'll look into it, now get back to serving me customers! (Mr. Krabs hangs up.) SpongeBob's been at least an hour early ever since he took over the Krusty Krab 2, I wonder what keeping him?
(We switch to our Patrick, who's knocking at Sandy's door.)
Patrick: Sandy! Have you seen SpongeBob? We were supposed to go jellyfishing yesterday but he wasn't home! Has he been hanging out with you? (Patrick waits a few seconds before sitting down with a huff. He then says in a grumpy tone…) I guess Sandy isn't home either… (Patrick then gets up.) Maybe I'll go play with Squidward today? (Patrick happily trots off.)
(We cut to an exterior shot of Squidward's house and see a gaping hole in the wall which the portal left. We then cut to Mr. Krabs again.)
Mr. Krabs: (thinking angerly) I'm going to have to dock Mr. Squidward's pay; he's always late fer work!
(The episode finally cuts to black and the credits begin to roll.)
Author's Ramblings: Hey again! Glad you made it to the end of this one. Did you figure out the answer to my question from last time? Since I don't personally know what y'all were thinking, I'm just going to assume that you got it right. So, congrats! The answer as to who parallels who is Plankton is Professor Maximillian Arturo, Sandy is Quinn Mallory, SpongeBob is Wade Welles, and Squidward is the ever-soulful Rembrandt Brown.
As you can see, in this episode we get to see the tail end of a war between Plankton and SpongeBob that Gary and Patrick have orchestrated. Our sliders just so happened to have arrived in the midst of it and triggered the war's end game for both sides. It was fun trying to write Plankton as the Stalin to Patrick's Lenin. And in case no one got it, Yes, Gary nickname is a parody of Chairman Mao. I hope you enjoyed this story of a world gone Patrick and I hope you're ready to see more wacky worlds ahead.
While some characters may have been carrying the idiot ball in this episode, the circumstances you've seen weren't the most conductive for thinking. There wouldn't be a rest of the story if they didn't somehow lose the ability to find home. I apologize for the sudden tragic ending as well, so as a reward for making it here, here's how the story would have ended in another universe. One in which SpongeBob remembered to grab the list:
SpongeBob: (fishes through pack) Here's the list! (Hands it to Sandy)
Sandy: Now let's see here… (searches through list of universe coordinates) Ah! Here we are! (Sandy types in the coordinates for home onto the device.) Let me just pack up a few things and then we can go home.
Squidward: I'm glad to finally be heading home. (Grows sullen when thinking about how his living room was destroyed by the portal) Though I guess I'm going to have to remodel my living room…
Sandy: (Sandy smiles.) Well, on the bright side we can probably retrieve most of your stuff from that ice world once we get readjusted. And I'll pay you for anything we can't just thaw out.
Plankton: Yeah yeah… Let's just go. I've got a life to live, wife to love, and a formula to steal! I can't wait to go home!
Sandy: Alright, Plankton! Just hold your horses and I'll get this started!
(Sandy opens the portal and the four sliders step through. We cut to them emerging on the other side in the middle of the Goofy Goobers restaurant during business hours. This causes a brief commotion, but after things settle down, the sliders sit down at Goofy Goober's counter.)
SpongeBob: Waiter, four of your finest sundaes! We've had a long and tiring weekend and reallyyyy need to unwind.
Waiter: (grumbles to self) Couldn't have been harder than mine. (Switching to a friendlier persona) That sounds like a good choice, would you like to upsize those orders for another 59 cents?
Sandy: Yesss please! That sounds 'bout right! (Turns to the other sliders) A cold treat sounds like the best way to top off such a 'nIce' adventure!
(The four begin to laugh, thinking about the journey they just finished. Squidward snorts, Sandy chuckles, SpongeBob giggles, and Plankton laughs in a slightly maniacal manner. We pan out from them out of the restaurant, and end on a shot of a bright sunny day in Bikini Bottom.)
As nice as that ending was, this ain't the end yet. It's just the beginning. And speaking of beginnings, I want to know how you feel about seeing the friends the sliders left behind. I got a plan for them to briefly appear at the end of every even episode, but it would be good to know whether this worked for you.
Now for this episode's "When Worlds Diverged!" In Patrickism World, we can trace most of the divergence in this world to the episode "Grooming Gary." While in our world, SpongeBob and Gary may have worked out their differences after Gary orchestrated that coup during the pet show, in this world, Gary kept those feelings of his bottled up until he came up with a plan to create a world of equal oppression for all. This led to the events described in the episode where he got Patrick and Plankton to follow him, while only giving them limited portions of the whole plan. Though the war may finally be winding down and SpongeBob and Gary might finally reconcile, there is no telling at this present time how the peace conference between the remaining forces of Patrickism and the empowered resistance might go. I personally wish the best of luck for everyone, but even I'm a bit nervous.
Next time, I hope you're ready for a few nematodes and a more light-hearted story about SpongeBob and Squidward working together to lead a group of hippies. Let me end this off with my parody of the SpongeBob theme song for this series. I hope you enjoy!
Alternate Theme Song:
Captain: Are you ready kids?
Kids: Aye-aye, Captain.
Captain: I can't hear you!
Kids: (louder) Aye-aye, Captain!
Captain: Oh…! Who lived in a Pineapple under the sea!
Kids: SpongeBob SliderPants!
Captain: Slipping and sliding through dimensions is he!
Kids: SpongeBob SliderPants!
Captain: If interdimensional nonsense be something you wish,
Kids: SpongeBob SliderPants!
Captain: Then drop through a portal and slide like a squirrel!
Kids: SpongeBob SliderPants!
Captain: Ready?
Captain & Kids: SpongeBob SliderPants! SpongeBob SliderPants! SpongeBob SliderPants!
Captain: SpongeBob… SliderPants! A-ha-ha-ha-ha!
(A portal opens by Painty the Pirate Captain and he's sucked through it.)