SpongeBob SliderPants
Episode 3: Love Under a Summer Sea
(The episode opens with the sliders sliding out onto a street crowded with buildings, from the looks of it, a shopping district. The scene feels off because there is no one else on the street. It looks like the area was abandoned quickly and recently. The sliders pick themselves up and look around. SpongeBob listens for a few seconds before saying…)
SpongeBob: Sure is quiet around here…
Plankton: After that last world, I could use some quiet time…
Squidward: (nervous) For some reason, I don't think this is the good kind of peace and quiet…
(A helicopter flies past overhead, drawing the sliders attention. Afterwards, Sandy walks over to a nearby electronics store. The shop window is busted in and most of the TVs on display have either been broken or stolen. Sandy looks at a tiny TV that's still running, currently tuned into a rerun of a food show starring this universe's Mr. Krabs.)
Krabs: Hey everybody, I'm Eugene Krabs and we're scuttling out looking for the sea's greatest Restaurants, Boat Ins, and Dives!
(Exciting intro music starts playing before Sandy begins switching channels.)
SpongeBob: What are you looking for Sandy?
(The TV finally switches to Bikini Bottom News.)
Sandy: This.
(The camera zooms into the TV screen, and we see the announcer fish talking while Perch Perkins can be seen at the top right of the screen in a news chopper above the streets of Bikini Bottom.)
Mr. Fish: Now back to you Perch!
Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here, coming to you live from our studio's chopper above Bikini Bottom. The horde is moving at record pace towards our fair city today and by the looks of it they will be in the city limits within the next five minutes. To anyone left in Bikini Bottom, may Neptune have mercy on your soul.
Squidward: (panicked) What's happening…
Plankton: (points to newspaper on the ground next to him. He sarcastically says) I guess this might be what he's talking about.
(We zoom into a newspaper and read the headline "Giant Mutant Flesh-eating Nematodes Escape from Lab!" We zoom back out and see the four sliders with a worried look on their faces. They then begin hearing a distant call in the distance.)
Nematodes: (like a whisper in the wind) Hungry. Hungry. Still Hungry.
SpongeBob: Sandy… You've got a plan, right?
Sandy: (nervous) Umm… Yeah! I'll see if we can get this device charged up so we can move onto the next world.
Squidward: (grabs device) How long does the timer have anyways! Three hours! (Squidward drops the device, curls up and rocks back and forward.)
Sandy: (picks up device) Don't panic! I… um… think I can rig it to slide now… I just need my tools…
Plankton: (digging through backpack) Found them!
(Plankton pulls out a few tools and hands them to Sandy. Sandy immediately starts tearing the device apart and plugs the device into a couple of sea potatoes to get a quick charge.)
Nematodes: (like a nearby voice) Hungry. Still Hungry.
Sandy: I got it! (Sandy dramatically thrusts the device into the air and activates it. The portal opens, but seems to be flickering like a dying light bulb.) Get in everybody!
Squidward: You don't have to tell me twice! I'm outta here!
(Squidward jumps through the portal, with SpongeBob following from behind. Sandy and Plankton are about to jump through before the portal suddenly closes, leaving them stranded. We zoom to Sandy's shocked face.)
Sandy: (with mouth agape) Uh… oh…
Plankton: (yelling) Don't just stand there! Get it open!
Sandy: (Sandy snaps to attention and starts tinkering.) If I just… put this here… that goes there… and done! Hope this works.
(Sandy opens another portal and it flickers like the last one, the device is not liking the modifications made to it.)
Nematodes: (like a screaming crowd) Still Hungry. Hungry. Hungry.
(Sandy and Plankton share a look of desperation and jump through the portal. It quickly closes behind them. Right afterward, the street they were on is devoured by the Nematode swarm. We watch the horde roll through for the next ten seconds with more calls of Hungry before cutting to black for a few seconds. We then cut to a portal opening in a verdant flower filled garden. Squidward falls through the portal and SpongeBob falls on top of him. Finally, the portal closes without dropping off anyone else.)
Squidward: (dazed for a second, before saying…) Get off!
SpongeBob: (picking himself up) Sorry… sorry… (SpongeBob looks around and taps Squidward on the shoulder.) Squidward…
Squidward: (annoyed) What…
SpongeBob: Where's Sandy and Plankton?
Squidward: Obviously they're… (Squidward looks around.) Umm…
SpongeBob: (panicking) Oh Neptune where are they! (He begins running in circles before Squidward stops him.)
Squidward: (worried) I don't know where they are, but we can't panic now… We've got to make sure we're safe before giving ourselves that luxury.
SpongeBob: (calming down) That makes sense… (SpongeBob's eyes widen in surprise.) Maybe we could them if we're safe…
Squidward: Who? (SpongeBob turns Squidward towards the crowd of hippie fish staring at them. A fish with kaleidoscope shades approaches.)
Crystal Dave: (addressing SpongeBob and Squidward) You're safe with us, our far-out brothers. You can call me Crystal Dave.
(Dave reaches out with a handshake. SpongeBob accepts but is pulled in for a hug instead. After the hug ends, Squidward asks…)
Squidward: (sarcastically) I don't want to break up this love fest, but where are we? (Squidward taps his foot waiting for an answer.)
Crystal Dave: Words and curiosity can't break up this love fest, especially since we're speaking in the language of love.
SpongeBob: Language of Love?
Crystal Dave: I always knew the best way for beings from two different worlds like us to communicate was through the language of love, but to talk with people from beyond like you proves it without a shadow of doubt! Now to answer your question, curious blue one, we are in the middle of Bikini Bottom's largest remaining wildlife preserve, Jellyfish Fields.
Squidward: And why are you all here?!
Crystal Dave: Why to protect the lives of our less intelligent siblings… Ever since we've learned that the man wants to pave over what's left of these fields and raze the wildlife in the process, we've been camping and protesting here until they leave the fields alone! Now I've got a question for you two. Why did you two want to travel to our world?
SpongeBob: We're sorry for intruding in your park, but we're travelers…
Hippie Fish from Crowd: No need to apologize, Square Dude! After all, aren't we all traveling through this life together?
SpongeBob: No, that's not what I meant. We're trying to get back home and we've kinda stumbled here.
Another Hippie Fish: Yeah man, we're all trying to go home; home is like a place that may or may not exist but together maybe we can find ourselves a little bit closer to home than yesterday.
Crystal Dave: (looking at crowd) Gnarly dudes… (turns to SpongeBob and Squidward) I'm glad we can help you two on the long road home! Is there anything we can do to make your stop here enjoyable?
Squidward: (turning to SpongeBob, who looks exasperated) SpongeBob, these people may not really get what we're saying…
Hippie Fish: Right on Squid man! Teach us your ways so that we may understand your wisdom!
Squidward: (turning to slightly face the crowd with a grin) but these people are obviously searching for wisdom that our lives may provide, maybe in exchange we can learn the ways of this world from them.
(SpongeBob thinks for a moment before realizing what Squidward means and he smirks as well. We cut to a busy yet slummy looking street, where another portal opens. Sandy and Plankton both fall out and land on the street. Several nearby homeless people react with a look of shock while three ragged looking fish dressed in business attire hurry along and refuse to make eye contact with anyone. Sandy and Plankton pick themselves up. A single nematode hops out of the portal before it closes.)
Nematode: Hungry.
Plankton: (panicked) AHHHH! KILL IT!
Sandy: (gets up and stomps on it) Whew… Out of the fire… (looks around) and into the frying pan… (Sandy begins tearing up)
Plankton: (confused) Where's no talent and doofus at?
Sandy: (with a small stream of tears rolling down her face) They… they're… (Sandy breaks down and begins bawling.) gone!
Plankton: (rolls his eye before trying to console her) There there… (After a few moments, Plankton stops and sighs, annoyed more than anything.) Now what are you talking about?
Sandy: (speaking through tears) The… portal closed… and… I suspect… that… whatever… world they went… to is… not… this one… (Her helmet is nearly filled with tears.)
Plankton: (questioning) You said suspect. So does that mean there is a chance they wound up in the same world as us.
Sandy: (calming down) Yeah… there is a good chance that we are merely in a different part of the world they wound up in. Still, I'm going to… (sniffling) have to check the device before I can determine what happened.
(Sandy flushes the water out of her suit before looking at the timer. The device sparks and sputters out. It seems to have powered off completely.)
Plankton: (annoyed) And its broken… Why am I not surprised…
Sandy: (still with a tear in her eye) We're going to have to repair this before we can start looking for them… This could take a while…
(Plankton looks around. He sees several shops and run down businesses before spotting an old motel with a neon sign reading "THE KRUSTY MOTEL". It has seen better days, and from the looks of it should be shut down.)
Plankton: We… could stay there, at least until the timer's fixed (Plankton chuckles at the appearance of the motel.) I doubt it be that expensive.
Sandy: (looking at the motel) Well I'll be darned… (Sandy giggles.)
(Sandy and Plankton enter the motel. Inside, the hotel is as dirty and rundown as the outside suggests, though there are some aesthetic similarities to the Krusty Krab. Behind the front desk, this world's Mr. Krabs, looks at the sliders with a smile on his face. His eyes turn into money signs as he greets these two potential customers.)
Krabs: (excitedly) Ahoy there and welcome to the KRUSTY MOTEL! You two out of towners look like you could somewhere to stay!
Plankton: (stifling a laugh, thinking about how funny this Krabs' rundown establishment is) Heh… We're looking to stay for a few nights.
Krabs: (with a mischievous glint in his eyes) Do ya want a single or double bed room?
(Sandy and Plankton think about this for a few seconds before realizing what Krabs is implying. They recoil in horror at Krabs's suggestion of romance between them.)
Sandy: (with a sheepish look) Oh no no! We're just friends, traveling buddies looking for a… nice place to rest…
Plankton: (cringing) I'm happily married to my computer wife back home. My acquaintance and I just need a place to lay our heads for a while then we'll be on our way. We'll splurge for two beds please!
(Mr. Krabs takes their money and hands them their keys. As Sandy and Plankton head upstairs to their room, Mr. Krabs watches them with a suspicious eye. When they are out of sight, Mr. Krabs grabs the phone on his desk and dials the police.)
Krabs: (in a hushed tone) Hello, officer, I think I've got a spy and a sympathizer at me motel. (The phone makes several nonsense noises before Krabs replies…) I'll keep me eye on them…
(We switch back to SpongeBob and Squidward a few hours later, now sitting around a campfire with the hippies. They are now dressed in outfits like the hippies and are telling stories of home. The hippies' attention is glued to every word the two say.)
Squidward: (pointing to SpongeBob) And then this one and his pink friend Patrick took me, barely out of the hospital and covered in bandages, jelly fishing…
SpongeBob: (protesting) I already apologized for that!
Squidward: (sympathetic) I know, I'm just feeling nostalgic for simpler times. I'm sure you miss home as well.
Random Hippie Fish: Ah, so the lesson here is to be thankful for what you've got, because you don't know when it'd end.
Different Hippie Fish: No. Obviously the lesson is that good intentions, even if misguided, are important to have for all things.
Squidward: (pretending that his story has a moral lesson) Um… Yeah, you both have a good point. Keep on thinking though, I'm sure you'll find more lessons from our teachings…
SpongeBob: Grand truths sure are tough to figure out…
(SpongeBob winks at Squidward. Around this time though, a group of fish dressed like FBI agents walks up to the group and one grabs Crystal Dave by the shoulder.)
Crystal Dave: Hey, Moon Gills! Long time no see!
Gills: (after facepalming) It's just Gills, man… (Gills looks at SpongeBob and Squidward.) You got another cult leader?
Crystal Dave: Nah man! These two are legit! We saw them enter our world earlier today!
Gills: (playing along) Sure, and I'm Neptune's trident… I'll believe it when I see it man…
Crystal Dave: Then come on and stay awhile, just to see what I mean. They'll be leaving in a few days, so you can see it for yourself.
Gills: (dismissive) Nah, I've got more important things to do.
Crystal Dave: You know you used to care about all this, before you got drafted by the man! Saving the environment, showing love and cheer, and spreading good vibes, we used to do it all together, man! What happened?!
Gills: The war's changed me man. Out there, fighting those vile surface dwellers, I learned that free love and smiles isn't enough to change the world. Even though I don't have any fight left in me, I can't just waste my life on pointless causes. And that cause is what I'm here for.
Crystal Dave: (questioning) What are you trying to say man?
Gills: (pleading) I'm saying to you and this group of yours that time is up. My bosses have had it up to here with your antics in this preserve and want you out by week's end. The only reason I'm here is I still care about you man; I don't want you or anyone else here to get hurt. Unlike the war, there is still time here for a peaceful resolution. So please, just leave the preserve or we will make you leave soon enough…
Crystal Dave: (upset) I don't take kindly to overt threats.
Gills: It's not a threat when we both know it's the truth. So please, go. (Talking to his FBI group) Come on guys, let's give them some time to think. (Turning towards Crystal Dave and sadly says) I hope I don't see you again…
(The FBI agents walk off. SpongeBob and Squidward look at Dave.)
SpongeBob: (questioning) What was that about?
Crystal Dave: Moon Gills was an old friend of mine, before he got drafted for the war on the surface dwellers. I know you two know nothing about that war in that peaceful sounding world you call home, so to summarize it, war has been raging between us ocean dwellers and the surface dwellers for as long as I can remember. There is no sign of the war's end soon and both sides have been at a stalemate for the last decade. My group here has held many anti-war protests, though the world today seems more dead to love than ever. I wish I could leave this world with you two, because I feel like nothing here is ever going to change for the better.
SpongeBob: Don't give up hope, Dave. I can tell you're doing a lot of good, even though I've only been here a day.
Crystal Dave: Thanks man… Your world must be full of love. I wish we could see love like your kind does.
Squidward: (sarcastic, rolling eyes) I'm sure you do…
(We cut to a shot of the Krusty Motel and in a time lapse see the sun set and rise a couple times while flashing lights and loud noises are heard throughout the sequence from one room on the upper floor of the motel. We zoom into that window and see Sandy hard at work on the portal device. Plankton then walks into the room, having trouble carrying a pile of mechanical parts and snack foods.)
Plankton: (exhausted) A little help here?!
(Sandy looks over from her work to Plankton, removing some welding goggles in the process. She then gets up and grabs the parts out of Plankton's arms before returning to her workstation.)
Sandy: Thanks fer these parts, but did you really have to buy more snacks?
Plankton: Of course! If I want to beat Krabs by creating a better menu than him, then I need to steal as many recipes during our travels as I can. Just imagine the success I could have by baking and selling otherworldly recipes!
Sandy: (looking at the bill, then mocking) Fer the Krusty Krab's most infamous thief, I've thought that you'd rather steal these snacks?
Plankton: (jumping up and sitting on a couch) Har Har… First off, a master thief like myself (Sandy rolls her eyes) knows to not draw attention when trying to lay low. Two, have you seen those sales prices? They're so criminally low that I'd be less of a crook if I didn't take advantage.
(Plankton turns on the tv and opens a bag of snacks labeled "Pat Snacks". Patrick's face is featured prominently on the bag. Plankton changes the channel to Bikini Bottom News.)
Mr. Fish: As the fighting continues across the Texan front, our staff on the ground report that we will soon regain control of the north portion of the coast. More to come at 6, so stay tuned!
Sandy: (After the tv switches to commercials) One thing I don't get is if the fish of this world are fighting a war against the surface, why does Mr. Krabs not seem the least bit suspicious of a land dweller like me?
Plankton: (dismissive) You're putting too much thinking into it; the Krabs of this world seems just as money grubbing as ours. I bet that he sees everyone as just walking pocket books… (Plankton laughs at his own joke.)
Sandy: Either way, this whole war thing makes me feel uneasy. At least when I finish these repairs soon, we can try looking fer our friends before hightailing it out of here.
(We speed through at time lapse of the next few hours. First, Sandy finishes the device, and the two do a little dance in celebration. Second, they fix up and eat some dinner, but not before Plankton scans it with some device to see what ingredients the meal is made of. This is so that he can replicate it back home, just like he mentioned in his 'evil' plan from earlier. Third, the two sit down on the sofa and watch some tv. We hear laughter and some crying over whatever they are watching.)
Sandy: (chuckling) I didn't think this would've make you cry!
Plankton: (upset) How can you stand to see such a great villain fail!
Sandy: (laughing even harder in disbelief) Villain! Please… this guy is such a ham that its hard not to laugh no matter what scene he's in.
Plankton: (still with tears in his eyes) I know, and yet, his character speaks to me on a deep level. (Plankton sobs.)
(We then continue the time lapse and after a bit more time, we see the two of them jump in their beds and fall asleep. The time speeds by on a deskside clock until stopping early in the morning. Suddenly, the time lapse music stops and loud banging wakes the sliders. They look at the door to hear…)
Agent: (through the door) FBI OPEN UP!
(The door is busted in. Sandy and Plankton get up in a panic. After a series of lucky coincidences, Sandy manages to snag their gear, Plankton grabs as many snacks as he can carry, and the two swiftly escape out the window and down a fire ladder. In the room, Mr. Krabs is checking the damage.)
Krabs: (annoyed) Did ye really have to cause this much carnage!
Agent: In the hunt for potential spies, all methods are on the table.
Krabs: I see… Yer agency better pay for the damages though!
Agent: (trying to calm Krabs) We'll see to it, along with your sizeable reward for the info you provided.
Krabs: (eyes turning to dollar signs) Money, money, money…
(Down on the street below, Sandy and Plankton are hiding in an alley.)
Sandy: (berating) Out of everything you could've grabbed… You had to take the snacks!
Plankton: (eating out of the Pat Snack bag) What? (chewing) These Pat Snacks are good, don't knock them til you try them. (Whispering to himself) I'm certainly going to sell these back home…
Sandy: (rolls eyes) Ugh… Where do we go from here?
(A person passes by holding a handheld radio listening to the news.)
Mr. Fish: Breaking News! The FBI are raiding the notoriously hippie group in Jellyfish Fields. According to my sources, the group is currently being led by wanted anti-war protester Crystal Dave as well as an unknown Sponge and Squid. More to come after a word from our sponsor.
Plankton: You know what I said about laying low?
Sandy: Yeah?
Plankton: I have a feeling we're going to need to ignore that rule…
Sandy: To Jellyfish Fields so we can try to find SpongeBob and Squidward.
Plankton: To Jellyfish Fields, so I can get one of them to carry this… (gesturing to the large pile of snacks.)
Sandy: (smug) I think I know how to get in without too much attention…
(Plankton looks confused. We cut to Jellyfish Fields and see a large pile of snacks shuffling over to the hippie encampment. The hippies are trying their best to hold off the FBI agents, but because most refuse to fight, we see many already in custody, having their rights being read to. We see SpongeBob and Squidward trying to maneuver though the chaos. They get close to the large pile of snacks and are suddenly pulled in by Sandy.)
SpongeBob: (surprised) Sandy?!
Sandy: It's good to see you too!
Plankton: (dismissive) We can host the reunion party later! Right now, let's get out of here.
Squidward: I agree with Plankton, this is getting out of hand.
SpongeBob: I'm just glad we're all back together.
(SpongeBob gives the group a hug. Just afterwards, the four burst out of the snacks, take what they can carry and run.)
FBI agent: Get back here, you land lubber hippies!
Crystal Dave: (trying to keep pace) So these are your friends SpongeBob? Are you all heading back home?
SpongeBob: (with a smile on his face) Hopefully!
(Sandy opens a portal, causing the fighting hippies and FBI agents to stop and stare at it.)
Gills: (in a state of shock) Dave was right…
(The sliders quickly jump through the portal. Crystal Dave, Gills, and several hippies and FBI agents jump in behind them. The portal closes, leaving those left in a state of confused reverence. The fighting has stopped and we see hippies and FBI agents peacefully intermingling, no longer seeing a good reason to fight after having witnessed such an event. We cut to the exit portal opening in a pristine looking meadow, seemingly untouched by intelligent life. The sliders fall out and have just enough time to get back on their feet before the others emerge and knock them back to the ground.)
Sandy: (talking to SpongeBob and Squidward) What have y'all done back there to have caused all this!
Squidward: Don't look at me! We were just talking with them.
Plankton: (pleased with this outcome) A cult… This could come in handy…
Gills: (bowing before the group) Oh, wise travelers from beyond. Do you have any wisdom for a fool like myself?
SpongeBob: (replying to Gills) Umm… Don't forget to love yourself?
Crystal Dave: (looking around) Man, this place is groovy!
(Sandy glares at the chaos around her. She then checks the timer to see that there is still several more hours til it recharges.)
Sandy: (talking to the other sliders) Welp… Looks like we've got a lot of work to do to get this mess cleared up.
Plankton: Fine… but when we go and take all these people home, can we grab some more snacks?
(The episode ends and the credits start rolling.)
Author's Ramblings: Hey! I'm trying out a different style of writing to create what I hope to be shorter and more comedic episodes. I feel I succeeded but I'm going to continue working on it as I go. This episode takes place a dozen or so worlds after the sliders first trip between worlds, long enough so that they have some individual experience surviving in unfamiliar environments without them being totally comfortable with being separated. That way, by separating them into some self-contained stories, I can make them more comfortable with doing their own thing without worrying the others will leave them behind. I will probably never separate them again so drastically, except if some good drama can be gained from it. Still, I hope you enjoyed some snippets of life in a more ordinary world. I really enjoyed skipping through the story to see some highlights in the events of their few days apart.
When Worlds Diverged: In Nematode world, a genetics lab created a new species of Nematode that not only eat buildings and plants, but also have a taste for live meat. In the weeks since they were unleashed on an unsuspecting world, the horde has grown to apocalyptic proportions. Many cities and towns have already been consumed and those that could evacuate have made their way to safe havens far away. Militaries have been deployed against the horde, but have so far failed to do anything but slow them down slightly. Maybe one day the threat can be stopped, but that day is not anytime soon. Meanwhile, the story of Crystal Dave's world is pretty much summed up by him. Long ago, a war began between land and sea that rages on to this day. The original reasons behind the war have been forgotten by all but the most scholarly people. The war is slowly losing momentum as antiwar groups like Crystal Dave's spring up and animosity between the citizens of said worlds shrinks due to increasing interaction between the two groups. Still, those in power would love nothing more for the war to last as long as possible in order to amass power for themselves and create a more autocratic society in the process; so, outsiders like Sandy are often treated with suspicion and they and those that support them are unfairly targeted by government officials on both sides of the war. In the end, I can understand why some of the people that jumped through the portal with the sliders at the end would want to abandon their world in hopes of a better one. I feel we all have something like that in our world, but to abandon this world is not only not an option, but it deprives ourselves of the chance to make the changes we want to see in our world. I hope one day our world can be better as well… still I'm optimistic about the future! 😊
Next time, prepare for a loose retelling of the story of Robin Hood from someone that doesn't know much about Robin Hood. Also expect another look back at the friends the sliders left back home. I hope to see you then!