A/N Um, well hi. Here we are again. Don't ask me what's going on with all these chapters getting written, I have no fucking clue what's happening to me.

Just a short Aragorn interlude, some serious shit, and the bulk if it is basically just shenanigans. Cause we love those.

They all slept like rocks that night, curled up in bed rolls on a carpet that kicked up dust if you looked at it wrong. Being called to breakfast in the late morning, surely following the Master's schedule, they entered the cramped dining room to find the same two servants setting out platters of fish and pitchers of milk.

Josephine smiled courtly and falsely as Alfrid intercepted her at the door, holding out his arm. "The Master would like to do you the honor of sitting at his side."

Thorin was seated at his right already, but the seat to his left was empty. She met Thorin's eyes and he gave her an apologetic look.

"Thank you." She said tightly, avoiding his offered escort and walking herself up.

Alfrid jogged to get there first and pulled out her chair with an overzealous sweep of his arm. Josephine's appetite left her completely.

"Ah!" The Master exclaimed while pulling fishbones from between his lips. "And here is the great beauty you have brought with you." He held his hand out to her. "Othur, Master of Lake-town."

Thorin cleared his throat while she kept her hands in her lap, but she did pull a diplomatic sort of smile. "Josephine."

"Josephine?" He repeated. "What a…unique name."

"She is of great renown in Gondor, a lady of standing." Thorin added pointedly, catching her eye from around the Master. "We have been lucky to have her join us. We will see her returned to her city once our quest is complete."

The Master's eyes widened gleefully. "My goodness! I didn't realize!" Then his gleeful eyes narrowed but his smirk stayed. "Perhaps after our meal you might accompany me on a tour of my most lovely town?"

Josephine looked over at Thorin again with pursed lips. He nodded pointedly to the Master and mouthed a silent "Please?"

"Lady Josephine?" The Master asked when she hadn't answered.

"Yes, of course. I've seen so little of it after all." Thorin Oakensheild was going to pay dearly for every second of that walk.

Of all the lords and guests and people she'd entertained while in Gondor's courts, all the long lunches and feasts, their breakfast became the longest and the most painful. Once he'd had his fill, the Master left to prepare for their walk and Josephine leaned across his empty chair to Thorin. "Are you out of your goddamn mind?!"

"Angering him before we have provisions and weapons could endanger the quest. It is merely a walk through the town, and I will send Fili with you."

"You're whoring me out to get weapons?!"

Thorin looked shocked and offended, even concerned. "Josephine, I would never ask that of you! No matter how dire our situation!"

"Right. Sorry, figure of speech. I didn't mean…whoring…whoring. I meant you're using me to get on his good side and I'll tell you right now, I do NOT appreciate it!"

"If we anger him he might change his mind and send us back to the Woodland Realm in chains as the Bargeman said."

She threw her napkin onto the stained tablecloth and glared at him. "You. Owe. Me."

"If you do not return within an hour, I will-"

"Oh trust me, one way or another I'll be back within the hour."

The chair legs scraped across the floor as she got up and left the room with Fili following right on her tail.

"You wanna know what was great about the last quest I was on?" She asked him, pausing outside the door to the main hall where she could hear the Master talking with Alfrid. "Nobody in my last company would've asked me to sweet talk the town megalomaniac because he thought I was pretty."

He caught her arm right as she was about to push the door open and smiled conspiratorially. "Give the bastard fifteen minutes to keep him happy, then, I have an idea."

Draped in a musty, heavy brocade coat gifted to her by the Master when they'd entered the hall, she walked alongside him at his slow gait as he spoke loftily about the town and downplayed the poverty he'd instigated.

"I know it must not look as grand as you're used to in Gondor, but the potential!" He said, holding his fist out in front of him. "There's more than you could ever imagine! Especially once your friend Thorin takes back the mountain. We'll be richer than Gondor! Grander than Gondor!"

"It will be quite a feat for you to build grander than the men of Numenor." She smiled with a sickly sweetness. "They'll surely speak of your accomplishments for many thousands of years."

The Master ate it up, starting off on yet another monologue about his plans as they passed the fifteen minute mark.

Right on schedule, Fili laid his hand on her arm. "My lady, are you well? You look pale as ice."

Pausing with them, the Master looked at her. "Pale? Why, she's not pale at all."

"Oh, Fili, you're right." She said fearfully, laying her hand on his shoulder. "I'm beginning to feel quite faint."

Fili shook his head and put his arm around her waist so she could lean on him. "All of this long travel has been so hard on you. Come, let me take you back to the house to rest?"

"Oh no, I'm certain I will be fine soon enough. I don't want to cut short the Master's tour." She watched the Master and waited to see which side of the coin he'd fall on.

"Yes, yes she said so herself, she'll be fine." He smiled, holding his arm out. "Allow me, my lady."

And onto step two of their plan, since he didn't buckle under the first step. She smiled at him again, acting like she was about to take his arm and continue the tour. But several feet shy of him she buckled her knees and let Fili catch her.

"Lady Josephine!"

She fell into his arms, going so far as to lay the back of her hand against her forehead and close her eyes. "Fili?" She said weakly.

He looked up at the Master firmly. "I'm terribly sorry, but I must get her back."

"Of-of course. Yes! I shall send for a healer, of course."

"No need!" Fili said quickly. "We have one in our company."

Josephine grasped at Fili's collar and grimaced. "Fili, my head, it spins terribly."

"Come, my lady, I've got you."

They were both stifling laughter as he picked her up like a wounded baby animal and hurried back the way they'd come.

The second they got back into the company's quarters he put her down and they burst out laughing.

"You're ridiculous, I've never believed a word from your mouth less!"

"Couldn't have done it without you." She bent over her knees, wheezing and mimicking him. "Oh, gosh my lady you look so pale!"

Having seen her arrive in Fili's arms and looking like she was unconscious, the rest of the company rushed in while they broke down.

Fili threw his hand against his head like she had and raised the pitch of his voice. "Oh Fili, I'm so faint! All of this walking is simply too much for me!" He proceeded to throw himself onto her in a faint and they landed in a heap on the ground in front of everyone.

Thorin pushed to the front and folded his arms. "What is the meaning of this?"

Lost in a fit of laughter, his demand only made them crack harder and finally Josephine wheezed. "Mission," Wheeze. "Accomplished."

"If anybody asks-" Fili sputtered. "She's taken ill from travel."

Bilbo smirked as he joined Thorin, easily catching on to at least the idea of what happened. "Yes, of course. She certainly couldn't be expected to be present at any long feasts or excursions now."

Slowly, a badly hidden smirk tugged at Thorin's lips and he sighed. "Very well. We will uphold your ruse as best we can. But I would suggest you quit making a spectacle before someone sees it."

"Yes, of course, Uncle." Fili coughed, stifling more laughter as he stood and helped her up.

Aragorn had slid down in his armchair in their sitting room, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he struggled through the aftermath of yet another night of dreams.

Elrond stood beside the chair and passed his hand across Aragorn's brow with a frown. "I will prepare a draught to help you sleep, Estel, but not all dreams are meant to be ignored."

"I wish you would not say such things when many of those dreams tell me she is dead." He sighed, trying not to choke on the final word.

"You have said not all of them bring such grief. And take comfort in the silence of your friends. If she had fallen during the battle for the mountain, they would have already brought you those tidings."

Aragorn supposed he was right, Legolas and Gandalf wouldn't have been so silent about her journey if she'd fallen by the end. He'd had to remind himself that many times, but some of his dreams had been so heavy he'd begun to question it.

"Then which of my dreams do I listen to? How do I know what is to be heard and what is to be ignored?"

Elrond offered him a sympathetic smile and grasped his shoulder. "Ignore that which comes from fear, and place your mind on the dreams that are born of hope."

Later, after she'd redressed Kili's leg and dodged numerous questions from him about how it was doing, Thorin pulled her into an alcove. She'd been less worried the day before when she thought Legolas and Tauriel were going to show up that night. Now it might be two weeks, or longer.

"Tell me truthfully, how does he fare? Is this what you have come to save him from?"

Josephine avoided the second half and focused on the first question. "He's getting worse. I might be holding it off but this isn't a normal arrow wound."

"What do you mean? Was it poisoned?"

She shook her head. "I've seen something like this before and it's way out of my league, or anyone else's around here. He's got a good chance if I can just get him through the next week or so."

"What happens then?" At her hesitation he grew frustrated. "Mahal, you cannot tell me this much and not continue."

"He needs elvish medicine. Those orcs are from Gundabond, it was a Morgul arrow."

"Dark magic." Thorin closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall of the alcove. "Thranduil would never help us."

"Thranduil doesn't need to, others are coming." Hopefully. "But Kili can't go with you to the mountain."

"He's been told stories of it since he was a boy. It would all but break his spirit not to be there when we enter the mountain."

"If he doesn't stay behind and wait for the elves, he'll die. And that's only if I can get him to make it to then. When you set out, I'll stay behind with him. You need to make sure Oin, Fili, and Bofur do too."

"Very well. Once again, I will defer to your counsel. What can be done to delay his illness?"

Crossing her arms she tried to remember the things that Aragorn had done for Frodo in the Trollshaws. Here at least they had more options but she doubted that would help much. "Sunlight and all the athelas we can find. I'm not sure there's anything else." Two weeks was such a long time, but then again, Frodo had lasted that long while a piece of the blade was still in his chest. But Hobbits were particularly hardy when it came to Sauron's influences, so how would Kili do? "Oin might have more ideas."

"Josephine, please be truthful with me. Is this his fate that you have come to stop?" His eyes begged her, brows knit together with worry.

"No, that is…potentially easier to circumvent at this point." That at least she could fight with a sword.

"Strangely enough that offers me comfort." He grumbled.