While I was laying in bed that night, I was thinking about Leon and how much I like him. Could he really be the one? I've only had one other boyfriend before and I don't even know if he would count because we were kids. And then there was also Jason back at the prison, but he died before we technically started dating. Then I started thinking about the other day when I thought about being a virgin and didn't want to be anymore. Could Leon be the one to take my virginity? Do I want him to? I rolled over and looked out the window while I thought.

I think I do.

My dad wasn't home the next day when I got up so I hurriedly got ready and left while he was out. I know he wanted me to take a day off, but I really wanted to go meet with Leon. My heart was pounding on the way there. How should I do this? Should I tell him? Or should I just let it happen? And if I do tell him, what do I say?

I walked with my head down as I was thinking. I had so many thoughts and questions running through my mind. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even realize I reached our spot until I heard Leon's voice.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He teased. I looked up at him a little startled. "What's Cathy so deep in thought about? I hope not planning my death." He laughed. I realized what he said and let out a laugh too.

"Hey, sorry." I said. We greeted each other with a kiss. After that, we just stared at each other. My smile faded.

"What's wrong?" Leon asked concerned. "You look like you wanna say something but you're afraid to say it."

My eyes widened a little and my breathing quickened. I was still staring at him. "I wanna have sex." I blurted out.

Leon looked a little surprised. "What?" He blinked.

I could feel my face get hot with embarrassment, I probably made it awkward. "I, uh…just mean…" I trailed off unsure of what to say. "Do you not want…" I shook my head and trailed off again. I looked down and played with my fingers. Why did I say that to him? I wanted to jump off a cliff. Then I became angry at him too because he wasn't saying anything. "Never mind. I shouldn't've said that." I shook my head and started walking away. I just wanted escape this conversation. Maybe I should've listened to my dad and stayed home today.

"No, wait." Leon stopped me. "Really? You wanna have sex with me?"

I turned back to look at him, then raised my eyebrows. "I mean…I did, but…I didn't expect that reaction."

"Sorry." He said with a laugh. "I just…was a little surprised is all." He shrugged with a smirk.

I gave him an annoyed look and crossed my arms over my chest. "Do you wanna have sex with me or not?"

"Yes." He grinned widely and touched my arm. "I do."

"Good." I said then glanced around. "But not here. Let's go back to that cabin." I nodded.

Leon was making a fire in the fireplace while I was fixing the sheets on the bed. We finished what we were doing pretty much the same time. We locked eyes for a moment, then he made his way over to me. We stood on the opposite sides of the bed just staring at each other. I was so nervous that I bet he could hear my heart pounding. He must know how nervous I am because he came over to me and kissed me gently. It helped calm me a little.

Once we pulled apart, we locked eyes and he grabbed my hands. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" Leon asked seriously.

I took a breath and let it out before answering him. "Yeah." I nodded. "I really do."

He nodded once, then slowly kissed me some more. I felt his hands traveling up and down my body and I liked it. He began to lift my shirt over my head, then threw it aside. So, I unbuckled and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

We took a step away from each other while he threw his shirt off, then took his pants the rest of the way off. He was in his underwear now. I still had my pants on so I figured it was my turn and took them off as well. Now we were both in our underwear.

We locked eyes yet again, then I turned around so Leon could take my bra off. He unhooked it and I felt it loosen, then he slid the straps down my arms. I was becoming more and more aroused every time I felt his touch.

I was breathing heavier as my heart continued to pound. It was exciting but I was also nervous. Was I supposed to tell him that it's my first time? I decided to hold off on that and got into the bed laying back. Leon responded by getting in the other side, he got on top of me but was holding himself up so he wasn't laying on me. Then he kissed my mouth, my hands were through his hair. He really has nice hair. He smells good too, which is rare these days.

Leon moved down to my neck. It felt really good and gave me a heart beat down there. I figured now was the right time to tell him. "Wait." I stopped him. He looked at me. "I've never done this before." I admitted. "Just thought I'd let you know."

"Okay." He whispered. "I'll be gentle."

That made me feel a little nervous again. I wonder how bad this is going to hurt? What if I can't take it? Do I tell him to stop? What if he doesn't? My eyes shot open at that thought because it scared me. Stop it! I scolded myself. You're just scaring yourself!

Leon continued kissing me again, he went down my neck then kept moving south of my body. It was feeling really good. It was when he kissed just above my sex that I knew I was ready.

"Okay." I said all breathy. "I think I'm ready."

Leon looked up at me briefly before slowly taking my panties down, he tossed them aside, then took his boxers off. I glanced at his erection before laying back on the bed. I anticipated the feeling of him entering me while I heard him ripping open a condom, then putting it on. I finally felt it happening and winced.

"You okay?" He asked me.

I had to think about it before answering him. It hurt but not too bad, I think I can handle it. "Yeah." I said and nodded. "Just do it."

Leon bent down and kissed me on the mouth before continuing. He began to thrust back and forth, I could feel him slowly going in and out of me. It hurt but it was getting better as he did it.

It finally started to feel good enough that I didn't have to wince anymore. I mean…it still hurt just not as bad. I let him go for a little longer then, I told him to stop. I couldn't take anymore.

Leon kissed me, then rolled over on the other side of the bed. "I'm sorry." I said. "I couldn't do it anymore."

"It's okay." He reassured me. "Don't worry about it."

I turned my head away and looked at the ceiling. I did it. I had sex. Finally. My face broke into a smile and I let out a laugh. "I liked it though." I looked at him. "We'll have to do it again so…it can get better. And you'll be able to finish." I let out a laugh.

He smirked. "I wanna give you an orgasm."

"I want you to give me an orgasm too." I smiled. We laughed and kissed each other some more, then we just laid there with each other. Even though it hurt and neither one of us got to finish, I still felt good. I felt happy.

Leon and I stayed the night at the cabin together, then we left early enough the next day that I was able to shower and sleep for a few hours before everyone got up. I was so happy that I couldn't sleep anymore and just got up. Since I was the first person awake, I decided to make breakfast.

I had most of the pancakes made when my dad came down the stairs followed by Michonne. "Good morning." I sang to them. "Hope you guys are hungry cuz I made pancakes." I scooped more onto the plate.

"Someone's in a good mood." Michonne said with raised eyebrows and looked at my dad. "I'll get some plates. Do you want coffee?"

"No, thanks." My dad said. "So, Abby? What's got you in such a good mood this morning?"

I smirked. If he only knew. I shrugged. "Why not?" I flipped the next round of pancakes. Daryl walked into the room, just then. He and Michonne said something to each other, then he grabbed a plate and started eating.

"I see you went out again last night." My dad said. "I thought after our talk, that you'd stay home."

I put the last of the pancakes onto the plate, then shrugged. "Why's it matter?"

"It matters because you agreed to take breaks." He said seriously.

"Well…" I brought the plate of pancakes over to the table and sat down with them. "I wanted to go out." I shrugged again. They were all looking at me now, which made me feel weird so I looked down at my plate and started eating. These people really know how to ruin a good mood. I should've just stopped talking but instead I said, "I just like going out. I don't know what you want me to say." I let out a laugh.

"That's fine but…you don't need to go out as much as you've been." He said.

"You're dad's right." Michonne chimed in. "It's dangerous."

I scoffed. "I know. But I'm fine."

"Well, one time you might not be." My dad said back. There was a pause after that. I was getting annoyed. "You know what I was thinking?" My dad continued. I almost rolled my eyes. What now, dad? "Where exactly do you go, Abigail?" He asked me. "Because…you used to bring back some good stuff. Now you hardly bring back anything."

I stopped because I never even thought of that. My face flushed. "I don't know." I said quickly.

"I wondered that myself." Said Michonne.

They were still looking at me waiting for an answer. "It's just…getting harder to find stuff."

"It is." Daryl said, then nodded. "Leave that girl alone and let 'er eat." I was glad he was sticking up for me.

There was another pause. "Yeah, I get that." My dad said yet again. I put my glass down with a thud. "But you're out the whole day so you'd think you'd come back with a little more."

I sighed heavily. "I won't go out today, okay?" I said wide-eyed and super annoyed. That seemed to satisfy him a little so it quieted down. I was irritated by them but I wasn't going to let them ruin my mood.

After I was done eating, I cleaned up in the kitchen then I remembered that I still haven't given Max his skateboard so I went to do that now. "Here, kid." I said giving it to him.

"You got it?" He said with a smile. "I was starting to think you forgot." He took it and looked it over. "Wow, thanks."

"I didn't forget." I told him. "I've just been busy."

Max gave me a weird look. "Busy how?"

"On runs." I gave him a stupid look.

"You mean…to see your savior friend?" He said.

I looked around to see if anyone was around, they weren't. "Max." I scolded him. "Keep your voice down."

Max looked like he was thinking. "Is he your boyfriend?"

I hesitated. "…yeah, he is."

"Do you guys like…do stuff?"

"That's none of your business." I shook my head.

"Okay, fine." He said. "When are you finally gonna tell your dad?"

"Never." I snapped and started walking away.

"How's that gonna work?" He said.

I looked back at him, then made my way back over. "Max, no one can ever know—

"No, I mean…how's that gonna work out for you? So you guys are just gonna met up everyday?"

I blinked a few times because I never really thought about that. I didn't want Max to know that though. "Once again, none of your business." I said angrily and walked away.

I laid on my bed while I thought about what Max said. He's just a dumb kid and I didn't want him to know that he shook me up. But he's right. What am I going to do? Are Leon and I just supposed to keep meeting up everyday? We'll never live together? That's not how a normal relationship works, and I wanted to have a normal relationship.

I sighed heavily. My good mood was completely soured from what happened this morning with my dad and Michonne to my thoughts now. I was so happy when I came home this morning, I want to feel like that all the time. And I only feel like that when I'm with Leon.

I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed and just sat there. Maybe Leon could come live here with us. I could talk to him and see if he'll go along with it. If he really cares about me, he will.

I could feel the anxiety flood back into my body. We have a lot to talk about tomorrow.

I smiled as soon as I saw him. "Hi, Adam."

"Hi, beautiful, Cathy." He kissed me. "You weren't here yesterday. I got a little worried."

My smile faded. "Sorry. My dad and step mom are starting to get suspicious of where I'm going everyday." I eyed him. "So I stayed home."

"Oh." He seemed to get a little concerned. "Should we stop meeting so much?"

"No." I said too quickly. "I don't care what they think. I wish we could see each other more."

Me too." He smiled. We kissed some more.

I put my hand on his cheek once we pulled apart. "Let's go to the cabin."

Leon and I threw our clothes off, then I got into the bed. It was the complete opposite of how things were the other day. We were moving at a glacial pace and I was all nervous, now we were just doing it like we've been doing it for years.

"Could you get on top of me and squash me?" I said sweetly and smiled.

"I would love to." Leon said and got on top of me, I giggled.

I snuggled up close to Leon and laid my head on his chest. It was a lot better than the first time, it still hurt but not as bad and we were able to finish this time. "That was better." I said.

"Good." Leon kissed my temple. It made me smile.

It was quiet for a while, then Leon started talking. "You know I've…I've been alone for a long time." He started. "My parents…they were older than most of my friends' parents." He nodded. I looked up at him while he talked. "My mom died at the start, then it was just me and dad for a while." He paused. "My dad wasn't that strong but he was smart. He taught me how to do a lot of things. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here."

I fully understood that. "Same with me." It was quiet for a minute. "What happened to him?"

He stared at me for a few seconds. "One day…he just got really old and weak." Leon explained. "Luckily, I found him before he turned."

I gave him a sad look and touched his face. "I'm sorry. I bet you miss him."

"Yeah." He nodded. "Both of them." He looked upset like he could cry, but shook it off by talking some more. "What about you? What happened to your mom?"

I told Leon how I had to basically kill my mom so my little sister could live, then I told him about Carl too and how much I miss him. "He was a really good person. Way better than me."

"You're a good person too." Leon said and kissed my forehead.

I stared into his eyes. "Shit. I think I love you."

He didn't say it back right away, which made me a bit nervous. "I think I love you too."

I felt completely relieved and smiled. We cuddled up with each other again. My mind went to my thoughts from yesterday. We both admitted that we love each other. So now's the right time to ask.

"I have to talk to you about something." I said.

"Uh oh. Is Cathy finally gonna kill me?" He laughed.

I let out a laugh too. "No, this is serious." I sat up so that I could look at him. "Do you want a relationship with me?"

"Of course." He said.

I smiled for a second. "I do too." My smile faded. "but," I looked down, then back up, "we can't keep meeting like this." I said seriously.

"What?" Leon sounded confused. "But you just said—

"I want to live together like a normal couple." I cut him off.

"But how would we…" He trailed off.

"You should come back with me." I smiled. "My family would take you in."

Leon opened his mouth and looked like he was going to say something then stopped. He sat up on the side of the bed and looked down. "I can't."

My stomach dropped. "Why not?" I almost yelled.

"What if someone at The Sanctuary notices and comes lookin' for me?" He looked up. "Or worse, my people or your people find out." He started shaking his head. "I won't put you in danger like that."

I stared at him for a few seconds. "They won't." I said. "I'll tell my dad and everyone that I met you out here. They'll never know you're a savior."

Leon shook his head. "It's too risky."

This was not going the way I wanted it to. I sighed and looked down, then I became angry. "So, you wanna just keep meeting everyday?" I said clearly angry. He looked at me. "I just keep lying to my family and keep you a secret and they never know?" I shook my head. "That's no way to have a relationship."

Leon sighed now and put his head in his hands. "Okay." He sounded angry now. "If it's that simple, then why don't you come to The Sanctuary with me?"

"Don't be stupid. Some of them know who I am." I said. "Besides, I'm not leaving my family. You don't have anyone to leave behind." It came out harsher than I wanted it to. He gave me a surprised look. I started shaking my head. "I didn't mean it like that."

"No, I know exactly how you meant it." He said clearly angry. "You know, not all of them are bad." He widened his eyes a little when he said it. I scoffed and raised my eyebrows. "They're not." He snapped. "I will admit, some of them do some bad things but there's good people too. I have some good friends there."

"Well, your 'friends' tried to kill my friends so I can't see it any other way." I said.

"You tried to kill them too!" He said back. "What makes your people any better than mine?"

I huffed. "My people didn't force other people to be slaves!" I got up and started putting my clothes on.

"Negan did that." Leon said stupidly.

"No. Negan and the saviors did that." I corrected him. "Negan was one person. Any of them could've killed him and took over and made things better, but they didn't, did they?"

"So is that what you think of me? You think I'm bad too?"

"No but you don't belong there. You belong with me." I said quickly. I finished putting my clothes on.

"Where are you going?" He put his hands down.

"Back home. Where I belong." I headed for the door. "And I'm not comin' tomorrow. I need some time to think."

"Good." Leon snapped. "Me too."

I slammed the door and headed towards home. My arms were crossed over my chest. I was super mad, but I was also sad too.

I took a shower as soon as I got home and cried while I was in there. I was thankful for the loud noise of the shower so no one could hear me sobbing. I really do love Leon and I want to be in a real relationship with him and I want us to live together too and stop keeping this secret from my dad and everyone, but it looks like we don't want the same thing.

Leon wants me to live at the The Sanctuary with him, but I can't do that. It would feel too much like betraying my people. Besides, I could never leave my family anyway. He should just come here with us. He is right, though, it is risky. If anyone found out who he really was, it would cause a big problem with The Sanctuary and all the other communities.

I sobbed harder. Why did this happen to me? Why couldn't he be a random person? I don't know what to do about this. Maybe it would be better if we never met.

My eyes shot open at that thought. I thought about how I feel whenever I'm around him, there's no way this was a mistake. I love Leon, and I think he loves me too. I'm gonna figure this out.

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