BPOV.
"Mom, I can't hand him the phone right now. He's at work."
"Are you sure you're not hiding him from us?" Rene lowered her voice. "Charlie won't hear a thing, I went outside on purpose."
"Mom! I swear he's not with me right now, we don't even live together."
"And why?"
"Because we've only been together for a little over two months?"
"So what? I realized that Charlie was my destiny at first sight. I was ready to marry him a week after we met, and you know we actually didn't wait too long."
"According to Grandma, you just got knocked up."
"Don't listen to your grandmothers. As we grow older, we start to think that we know everything better than anyone else. God forbid I become the same! I give you permission to kick me if I start acting like your Granny Swan. This woman is unbearable."
Neither of my grandmothers were fans of my parents' couple, but against all odds, their union was unbelievably strong. But what surprised me the most was their unwavering devotion for me; despite the misunderstanding between the children and their parents, their attitude toward their granddaughter had not changed.
"Alright, I believe you. And you know that I won't be able to hit you even if you interfere in my life on a permanent basis, but please don't do that."
It was a fat hint not to remind me of her future grandchildren every day.
"I'm glad to hear that. So, I can safely continue demanding to meet your Edward. I can't believe Charlie spoke to him before me."
"You know it was a necessary measure. If it wasn't for Jacob and their baseless fears, I would have postponed their acquaintance for a few months."
That evening, when we had decided to tell everything to my father, he had immediately demanded that Edward have a heart-to-heart conversation with him, and most importantly, without me. I had tried to find out what exactly they had been talking about together, but neither one nor the other let it slip. Knowing my father, he most likely had threatened Edward with retribution, in case he offended his little girl in any way. I loved my dad, but after the whole Jacob thing, he got a little too caring sometimes. I didn't even know what was worse, dad with such excessive protection, or my mother's everyday reminder of my biological clock.
"I understand, but this is so unfair! It also turned out that Carmen saw you two. She was at that event with her husband, she wanted to come up and say hello, but you ran away so quickly, and they didn't see you after that."
"Carmen and Eleazar were also there?"
Carmen was one of my mother's closest friends and also my godmother.
Who else had been at that ball and who else had I missed?
"It turns out they know Esme Cullen, your boyfriend's mom. It's such a small world. Carmen assured your dad and me that the Cullens are a wonderful family. I really want to meet everyone already."
"They are a very nice people. Esme loves to do charity work, so you definitely have something in common with her."
"If Charlie could tolerate charity balls even a little bit, I'm sure we would have met her long ago. Nowadays we are hardly going somewhere, I can barely get him out to a couple of places in Seattle."
"You know that dad is allergic to all these social events. Good thing there's so much social activity in Forks. How is your book club, by the way?"
It was a great opportunity to change the subject from me to something else.
"Everything is great, they inspire me so much for new books. I think that when I finish this series, I will immediately start a new one. I even have a couple of ideas already."
"That's great, Mom. Hopefully this time it'll be something I can read in full."
"Bella! It's not my fault that you grew up to be such a prude. You obviously didn't take that after me, I blame Charles for all this. I won't be surprised if by the age of forty you start drinking beer instead of water, grow a mustache and decide to spend every Saturday morning in golf club!"
I laughed at this fictional picture. While I looked a lot like my mom, dad and I had a much more similar personality.
"I think Edward might not appreciate the mustache idea. I'll probably refrain from specifically this idea. But I really like golf, they say that the local golf courses are one of the best."
"Don't even tell me about it, one Charlie is enough, the second can be postponed. I almost forgot why I even called you again! Do you remember when I said that I was releasing a sequel to my books?"
"Yes, sure." This could not be forgotten. I had to keep track of what information gets into the masses.
"My agent talked me into doing the little autograph sessions that I usually do at my book club. Only this time, we decided to go beyond Seattle. At first, I wanted to save Florida for last, but now I've changed my plans and we're going there at the beginning of the tour." I froze in surprise with my phone in hand, my eyes probably doubled in size.
"You will be holding an autograph session here? When?"
No no no! I haven't had time to explain anything to Edward about my mom's hobby yet.
"If everything goes according to plan, then in about a week and a half. I'm so glad that I can finally see you and meet your Edward! Be sure to warn him so that we can definitely meet, you poor people always work so hard."
One and a half weeks? I needed to think urgently about how to explain this to the Cullens. I didn't even want to think about Esme's face when she found out this little detail about my family.
"Good, Mom. I'd love to see you." It was the absolute truth, despite all the oddities, I loved my mother very much. It didn't mean I was in a hurry to introduce her to my boyfriend. In my ideal world, they could meet at our wedding so it would be harder for him to escape.
Maybe this new book will be a little less detailed than the first two?
"Then I won't keep you any longer. Don't forget to give this wonderful news to your Edward."
"Of course, I think he'll be happy to meet you. Say hi to Dad."
I hung up and fell on the bed. My mom and my new boyfriend were gonna be in the same room pretty soon. No, worse, my mom and my dad and my new boyfriend were gonna be in the same room pretty soon. My imagination kept drawing new possible scenarios for this meeting. Either my mother is surrounded by natal charts, numerological forecasts and chaotically lying tarot cards around, then my dad with his new gun, then they are showing my photos from the fifth grade. Or Mom handing each Cullens a copy of her books. No matter how the meeting went down, the main thing in all my scenarios, Edward comically ruining away from me with his eyes wide in horror.
But maybe our love was stronger than all that? After all, at least my parents weren't boring snobs, it could have been a lot worse. Maybe Edward was really fond of esotericism? Or maybe the Cullens secretly liked to read about women in latex suits? I could definitely imagine Rosalie with a whip in her hands.
The thought of my friend as a dominatrix amused me, and I was able to take my mind off my panic. I decided to take a quick shower to distract myself even more. But in the end, it didn't help. Standing in the shower, I mentally began to choose which of the Cullens better to tell first. The choice, of course, was between Edward and Rosalee, even though the latter was Hale. But the solution came by itself because my phone showed a call from Edward.
"Hey, I didn't think you'd finish so early today."
"I was lucky. A colleague I replaced last week offered to stay on the night shift instead of me." A little pause. "So I hope I'll be lucky for the second time today and have you join me for dinner."
"If it's an invitation, I'll take it."
"Then I'll pick you up in a half an hour if I get there without traffic. Okay?"
"I'll be waiting. How should I get dressed?"
"Honestly, I'd drive to restaurants and take food home. I'm finally done renovating and I can proudly invite you into my bachelor pad. So wear anything you want."
"Sounds perfect, I'm not in the mood to sit in noisy restaurants today. Am I finally gonna see Esme's last creation?"
"Mom definitely put a lot of effort into creating my apartment. I'm sure she would love to hear your opinion. See you soon then. I'll call you when I drive up. It'll be nice if you think about what you want for dinner. You know the local restaurants better than I do."
After saying goodbye to Edward, I went to the closet to find my favorite jeans and top. A relaxed evening together was just what we needed. After a while, I was standing downstairs looking for a familiar silver car. Edward, as a true gentleman, hastily got out of the car to meet me and open the door for me. I put some of my favorite restaurants into the navigator, and Edward drove us.
After ordering a bunch of appetizers and a couple of risottos, we finally went to Edward's apartment. Edward lived a little bit closer to the city center than I did. It was a nice area, but I certainly wouldn't trade my view of the ocean for busy neighborhoods. The elevator from the underground parking took us to the floor and Edward opened the door to his apartment.
This place was both what I expected and not. The interior was predominantly in dark colors, made of expensive materials. A large room with a huge sofa, plasma and a billiards table immediately caught my eye.
"Do you play billiards?" This topic had never come up in our conversations.
"I was into it in high school and a bit in college. Peter, Rosalie and Jasper's dad, taught us all how to play. So it's kind of like a family activity now."
"That explains why Rosalie plays so well."
"You also play? You must have played with your father."
"You will be surprised, but my mom was the one who taught me how to play. She is a very great player actually. And she taught me everything she knows."
Edward leaned down to kiss the corner of my lips.
"Then we will definitely have to play together." Edward smiled slyly. "I'm going to heat up our dinner. If you want you can see the rest of the rooms on your own."
"Let me help, and then you will show me yourself."
"Let me take care of my first guest. You've made me dinner so many times already."
"Alright, then I'll just sit here with you. I have some kind of news anyway."
I bit my lip as I thought about how to tell him about my parents' upcoming visit. I didn't think that Edward was one of the guys who was afraid of meeting the girl's parents, but he also didn't know what was in store for him.
I watched Edward arrange our dinner for a minute in silence. Without hearing any explanation from me, Edward turned to me and raised one eyebrow.
"I like your kitchen." The first thing that came out of me. And the kitchen was fantastic, which I just realized after I said it.
"Thank you?" Edward looked both worried and amused.
"Is that all the news for today?"
Okay, here goes nothing.
"My parents are coming to see me in a week and a half. Mom is determined to meet you and your parents."
Edward looked at me in surprise.
"Is that all you were worried about? I would love to meet your parents."
"You're saying that because you haven't heard everything about my parents."
"And what is it that I don't know about them. Are they in the mafia? Is your father a member of the Bilderberg Club?"
I smiled tightly.
"I don't know about the second one, but the first one is definitely not about my parents."
"Then I see no reason to worry about it. Or do you think they might not like me?" Edward froze with a container of antipasti in his hands.
"That's not what I'm talking about." I frowned as I thought about how best to explain my feelings to him. Perhaps I worried in vain, but it was important to me that our families get along.
"Edward, you have such a normal family. Almost a picture-perfect one, and this is not in a negative way, it's a compliment."
"I don't even quite understand what you mean."
"You have caring parents. Esme is like a very embodiment of intelligence, tact and grace. Carlisle is a successful businessman, a well-known doctor, and a loving husband and father. Your mother loves art and cooking, she arranges Sunday dinners for the whole family, she enjoys philanthropy and social work. And your father likes to discuss how things are going in the stock market, sometimes medicine and sports. Such families only exist in movies."
"Usually in the movies someone in this family turns out to be a hidden drug addict or they're all killed in the beginning." Edward ran a hand through his hair. "But I still don't understand what you want to tell me with this. If your family is different from mine, that's fine. I didn't expect something like that."
I started to feel stupid. Why did Edward always seem so composed and reasonable when I was a nervous wreck? I didn't know what was causing me to panic. Edward was right, all families are different. I also had wonderful parents, and I was grateful to them for my childhood. What worried me so much then? And that's when the realization hit me. Why didn't I understand right away? The first and only guy I introduced to my parent was Jacob. My experience was entirely based on this meeting. My parents immediately disliked Jake and he understood this, so he tried in every possible way to belittle their opinion. Edward was the polar opposite, I couldn't even imagine that he could allow himself to say nasty things about strangers, especially about my parents.
"You're right. I feel a little silly that I'm worried about this. But the fact that your family doesn't seem to have any flaws at all doesn't make me feel more confident." I looked down at my hands trying not to show how much this really bothered me. "I guess what I'm trying to say here is that my parents aren't for everyone. And I'm worried they might overwhelm you a little."
"Bella, what are you talking about? What's so unusual about them? I've already talked to your father, and he may have sounded a little intimidating, but no more than I would expect from a father who loves his daughter."
"Don't tell me dad threatened you?"
"We just had a little man talk. You don't have to worry about it."
I groaned and put my head in my hands. So dad had definitely made a threat. But since Edward still hadn't run away from me, maybe this time Charlie hadn't gone too far.
"Let's just leave it at that: I'm trying to warn you in advance because I value our relationship very much."
"I honestly don't understand why you're so worried. I'm not going to leave you just because our parents are not alike. Let's be honest here, I'm not planning to leave you at all. You'll have to put in a lot more effort to get rid of me."
I smiled at his words.
"Ok. Then I'll just talk briefly about them to prepare for the meeting. You've already gotten to know Charlie a little. My mom is the polar opposite of him. As a child, my dad wanted to become a military man, but my mother is an ardent pacifist. My dad is a more closed person, while my mom is like an open book. She always says what she thinks or feels. Many people are discouraged by this quality when they first meet with her. I don't even want to remember how many times she made me blush. She always had a lot of hobbies, so I had a very exciting childhood. Together we danced, drew, sculpted, woodcarved, made dolls, and made candles. Then she became interested in tarot cards, astrology, numerology, and yoga. This list of her hobbies is endless. You already know that she persuaded my father to move from Seattle to Forks, just to meet her new hobby." I turned my gaze to Edward's surprised face. And he had not yet heard the best part of my story. "There she met her new friend, who told her about the local book club. Now imagine my mother, in the company of rich middle-aged women, reading some dime novels. It took her less than a month to came up with a new hobby. Why not write a book herself?"
"Is your mother writing a book?"
A nervous chuckle escaped me.
"She wrote a book. A big one." I bit my lip and looked at Edward nervously. "I don't know the details, but a year later she made a deal with some publisher in Seattle and they released it for sale. The book became successful and the publishing house agreed with her on the second part. I was very busy with work at the time, so when the first part came out, I didn't have enough time to read. At some point, I heard one of the nurses discussing my mother's books, here a thousand miles from Seattle. And I decided to please her and finally read her work." I turned to Edward, who was putting our salad on a plate. My pause caught his attention and he stopped to look at me. "Edward, these books are pure smut. With so much such shocking details that you don't want to find out from your parents."
"Your mom writes erotica?"
"The word erotica does not describe these books in any way. The whole storyline revolves around the fact that the hero, billionaire, who is extremely dominant at work, wants someone to control him in bed. So, he meets his future dominatrix and somewhere in the process falls in love with her."
I saw Edward lose the ability to speak for a few seconds.
"Okay, I can understand what you meant when you said your parents were different." I froze in place, waiting for Edward to continue. "It was extremely unexpected, but Bella, it's kind of a flex. I know this is must be weird for you and maybe a little uncomfortable, but try to look at it from the perspective that your mom is a good writer, rest is just the details."
I don't know who Edward was trying to comfort me or himself, but I didn't comment on it.
"No, I get it, believe me. While I'm extremely happy for my mom, I'm also aware that some people are quite critical of her art. I can only image your mother's expression when she discovers this tidbit from my mother's biography. What if she decides that you shouldn't get involved with such a crazy family. Edward, I've seen your mom's reaction to Tanya, and believe me, she would do anything for her son."
Edward set the plates of risotto on the table and bent down to kiss the top of my head.
"You got it right with that last part, mom can be scary when it comes to the people she cares about. But, Bella, I think you might have a little misjudged my mom. Of course, she is as you described her earlier, but that's not all. I think our mothers have a lot more in common than you suspect."
"Does your mom also write porn in her spare time?" I couldn't hide my sarcastic tone completely. Edward flashed me his crooked smile in response to my question.
"Not that I know about. Bella, my mom is far from a prude. If there's one dirty joke I can expect from my family, it's gonna be mom's. Emmett just loves spending time with her. Of course, he treats Aunt Charlotte, Rosalie's mother, well, but he found almost a soulmate in my mother. Mom has even made Emmett blush a few of times."
"Are you kidding?"
"No, you only saw my mom like twice. And most likely you were both just trying to make a good impression on each other. This is not unexpected. But I think a few more meetings and you will completely relax in each other's company. Maybe your mother will even contribute to this."
Leave it to Edward to relax me completely. I didn't know exactly at what point he had won so much power over me, but such change didn't frighten me. I welcomed it.
"So when exactly are your parents coming?"
"I'll check with my mom a little later. She just said that she moved up the date of her autograph session so that she would see us at the beginning of her promotional tour, and not at the end as originally planned."
"Great, I'll talk to the hospital and my parents. By the way, we can meet at their house, I think my mom will be happy. They have a large table, and they are used to having family dinners."
"If they don't mind, that would be great. I love my apartment, but the dining area there is not designed for large groups. And the restaurant is probably not the best place for a first meeting."
"Then I suggest we have dinner first, then I'll call my mom. Then a quick tour of my apartment."
"Sounds like a plan."