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"The lawn is pressed by unseen feet, and ghosts return gently at twilight, gently go at dawn, The sad intangible who grieve and yearn."

–T.S. Eliot


Misty had never been a great sleeper. As a child, she'd always been prone to nightmares—ghosts and then Bugs, thanks to her loving sisters. And as she grew up, ghosts had always played fast and loose with her sleeping schedule, so any nights where she miraculously wasn't sleep deprived, she found herself tossing and turning, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night.

This was one of those nights.

So when she woke up and the sky was still dark and Phoebe was giving a slight snore with every other breath, Misty sighed and rolled over, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. But after another toss, a turn, resituating her legs, and an accidental influx of cold, night air into her sleeping bag, Misty decided to go for a walk.

At home when Misty couldn't sleep, she often went downstairs in the Gym and spent time with whichever Pokémon happened to be awake. So far, she had numbered a few sleepless nights on her journey and the only thing she could do was walk around.

Quietly, Misty slipped out of her sleeping bag and began to walk, clutching her sweater close to her. A few shivers coursed through her body, so she picked up the pace. Shouldn't it be hot near an active volcano?

She turned towards the volcano, taking in its wonder again. At night the outline was faint, but there was still a little bit of smoke right at the rim against the now cloudless sky. It was no less formidable, though, even as darkness shrouded it. No less wonder inducing.

"Pretty cool, isn't it?"

Misty started. The cool night air had woken her up a bit—unfortunately—but her mind was still half asleep. Plus, Ash had every advantage in sneaking up on her. His sneakers were silent on the ground, his jacket didn't flap in the breeze—all that made noise was his voice.

"Ash, what are you doing here?"

Her voice was low. She didn't know if she was whispering out of habit because it was nighttime or what, but she knew that she was too far away from Phoebe for her to be woken up by them. That and Phoebe had seemed completely conked out anyway.

"Like you. I was looking at the volcano."

Misty shook her head. "Don't you realize that it's a little creepy that you're just hanging around where me and Phoebe are asleep?"

Ash looked her up and down. "You don't look very asleep."

Misty slapped Ash's arm. "Obviously. That's not what I meant."

Turning his gaze to the ground, Ash shuffled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh, yeah, I was hanging out here. But not near you guys and not watching you guys, I promise!"

"Well, what were you doing so close anyway?"

Truth be told, Misty was just giving Ash a hard time. Yes, it would be weird for him to watch over them as they slept, but she didn't really care much beyond that.

"I actually came over here—" Ash put a hand to his mouth as he coughed— "while you and Phoebe were with those ghosts."

"Ash! That was hours ago!"

Ash put his hands up as if in defense. "Hey, it's not my fault. I felt a sudden pull here that it seems a bunch of other people did too, and so I came. Pikachu too. But then we decided to check out the volcano, see if there were any cool Fire Pokémon."

That gripped Misty's attention. "Were there?"

Ash grinned. "A Magmar. Haven't seen one of those in a while."

"Really? That's so cool! You're lucky you can explore without, you know, getting burnt to a crisp."

"Yeah, I guess so," Ash agreed, his grin fading into a little half-smile like one side of his face was happier than the other.

Maybe she'd misspoken. Either way, she was getting distracted by Pokémon.

"Wait, so why didn't you just join us later?"

Ash shrugged. "Just didn't know if it was our place."

"Didn't know if it was your place?" Misty questioned. "Ash, it was literally a bunch of ghosts. What better place could there be?"

His brows furrowing and unfurrowing, Ash seemed to be putting his thoughts together carefully. Like he was writing and erasing what he was going to say a few times before he got it right. "I mean, do you know why Pikachu and I always take flight when we reach a town or city?"

"Well, Noir always leaves because she doesn't like crowds." Misty's eyes opened wide in realization. "But I realize now that that's stupid because people shouldn't really make a difference to you. Because they can't see you no matter what. So, then why?"

"Do you know how lonely it is being a ghost?"

Actually, that had been one of Phoebe's musings before she'd fallen asleep. She'd explained that ghosts were always lonely and that's why she sought them out. To provide them with companionship and show them that they weren't alone in the world. And, from what Misty had seen earlier, she got her results.

At the time, Misty had thought that she understood. She had thought that Phoebe understood. But in this moment, she knew better. "No, I guess I really don't have any clue."

Ash nodded. "That's okay. There's no way that you could."

"I don't get it, though," Misty said. "That explains not wanting to be around living people, but these were ghosts like you. How can being them make you feel lonely?"

Moving his gaze back up to the volcano, Ash said, "Well, maybe you've noticed…ghosts' personalities can be kind of unstable."

"Unstable?"

Ash nodded. "I have spent some time around ghosts before. Usually right after ghosts wake up as ghosts, they're kinda crazy. Some really sad, some really angry. It varies. I used to think that that was just the natural reaction to waking up and finding yourself dead, but after seeing it a few times, I think that it's more than that."

Misty blinked. That sure explained why she'd had so much trouble with ghosts in the past. Like with Fay and Daniel from the forest. Actually, it was a relief to know that maybe Phoebe was a little wrong, and it wasn't just the way Misty handled ghosts—maybe it was them too.

"Anyway, if a ghost is around for long enough, their personalities or whatever seem to subdue. I'd like to think I have. But I don't think that everything's the same as when we're alive. Either way, it makes it harder for ghosts to interact with others," Ash finished. "And we just get used to being alone. Then again, I guess my situation's different anyways."

"Why's that?"

Ash grinned. "Because I have Pikachu. So I'm never really alone."

That was the real answer, she realized. Ash might have gained an aversion to other ghosts, but it was because he could afford to. He didn't need their company when his best friend was always by his side. And since he seemed to have no interest in trying to figure out why he hadn't moved on yet, he didn't need to talk to anyone about it, not even her.

"Speaking of whom, where is he?"

"Some of the ghosts saw him and took a shine to him after you guys turned in for the night." Ash brushed his finger under his nose. "Not a lot of ghost Pokémon out there. He's humoring them."

"Good for him."

They let that hang in silence for a little while and eventually Misty sat down on the rocks, hissing at how cold they were. She pulled her knees up to her chest to try and contain her body heat.

Something, though, was still weighing on her mind.

"I do need to thank you for yesterday."

Ash, for his part, looked taken aback as he joined her on the ground. "You thank me? I should be thanking you!"

Misty waved him away. "You already did. But yesterday and even just now…you shared a lot. And you hadn't before. So I know that can't have been easy."

"It was no big deal."

"No, it was," Misty insisted. "I know that sharing—leaving yourself vulnerable—isn't an easy thing to do. So thanks."

For a few moments, Ash was silent. Misty wasn't sure if that was his way of accepting her thanks or if he was about to rebuke her again, when suddenly, a sly grin appeared on his face. "You know what? It is a big deal."

"What?" Misty was surprised by his sudden about-face. "I mean…I mean yeah! It is!"

"And so now you owe me one."

"I owe you one?"

By this point, Ash was laughing. "Misty, you do realize that you've told me literally nothing about your life other than you talk to ghosts, you have three sisters, and a friend named Brock, right?"

"Well, before yesterday, you'd never told me anything except that you died forty years ago!"

"I know that!"

"Well…okay then!" Misty sputtered. "As long as you know."

"And now you know something more about me," Ash said with an index finger up and an inexplicably smug tone, "so technically now you owe me one."

Misty floundered, her mouth gaping. "Like what?"

"I don't know," Ash laughed. "That's kind of the whole point."

What should she tell him? What could she tell him? The whole world was silent as she figured it out and Ash didn't press.

"I'm lonely too," she finally admitted. And not just to Ash. "I've never had any human friends except for Brock. And we've both always been super busy and we don't even live in the same city, so that's hardly enough to live on. I mean, my dad left, my mom died and I only ever see her once in a while, my sisters and I are…less than friendly. I've only had my Pokémon and Noir and I've really leaned on her. I know that my loneliness is nothing compared to yours, but I want you to know that I understand, at least a little bit. And, I don't know, maybe that we're not so different."

Ash smiled, looking at her and for the first time Misty noticed how warm and brown his eyes were. A ghost's light always cast a slight discoloration on them, but up close they were easy to see. His skin was tan, marred in places with a few scars, his hair was black and tousled, and his eyes were a bright brown.

"That's hard to believe," he said. "Because you've already had a different traveling companion for every city."

Misty threw him a sidelong look before turning back to the scenery. "That's only two people, ya dummy."

"I'm just saying, you seem alright at making friends, so why don't you?"

Misty shifted, putting her arms behind her and resting her head on her shoulder. "I guess I never realized all of this until now. It was just the way things were, I wasn't really…aware how I felt about it. I met new people at the Gym every day and, of course, I had my Pokémon, so that kind of, I don't know, masked it, I guess. Like you."

Ash nodded. Silence again fell between them before Ash offered, "You know, Pokémon have this innate sense when ghosts are around. They have different reactions, but I'm confident that they always know that we're here."

"Is that why you choose to hang around them instead of people?"

"Maybe," Ash gave a little shrug. "I mean, I've always loved Pokémon more than anything else. So I observe Pokémon and travel the region and watch Battles and, yeah, sometimes hope that a Pokémon will notice me here and there. That can be fun sometimes."

"But they still can't see you."

"No, but you're not invisible. With people you're truly invisible."

Misty turned to Ash. Fully. Shifted how she was sitting, the part of the rock that she hadn't already shared her body heat with bringing a new shiver to her frame, and looked him straight in the eye. She heard Phoebe's voice in her head, and in that moment, it seemed important to listen. She reached out and touched his hand like she'd seen Phoebe do so many times that evening.

"But you know you're not anymore, right?"

Suddenly Misty knew why the metaphorical version of the word 'touched' existed. Because every nerve focused on the touch of their hands. Ash's hand was slightly warm, which was odd because Misty rarely noticed any discernible temperature when she touched a ghost. Then again, she rarely touched ghosts except for the occasions in which she got into tussles with them, and she was hardly concerned with their body temperature in those situations.

After getting over that fact, Misty looked again at Ash's eyes, but his gaze was locked on their hands. Misty blushed at how deep with emotion that gaze was. Because she realized that, while they had touched before, it was never really in a friendly way, only ever out of necessity.

There was only the other day, that hug at Oak's lab, that stood out in contrast. It had been necessary in a whole other way. Imperative, vital even—not a more casual choice like this. She'd done it without thinking, she'd had to.

Now, Misty realized that in touching him, she had touched him. Touched his soul. Like Phoebe had been talking about when she had hugged all those ghosts.

"You're right," Ash said, his voice a little raspier than usual. "There's no reason to be lonely now."

They looked at each other, the words hanging heavy in the air for a moment before they broke. Eye contact and touch both were taken away as Misty felt the awkwardness that she'd managed to push away for just a moment seep back over her. She wasn't used to having intimate moments with people. Real moments.

"I, um, should probably go find Pikachu," Ash said, filling the awkwardness.

"Yeah. And I should definitely go back to sleep," Misty added.

"Heh, yeah," Ash agreed. "I guess I don't think about sleep much."

"I do," Misty said, yawning. "All the time."

They began going their separate ways and Misty spared a glance back at Ash. At that exact moment, he did the same, and they both tore their eyes away again, Misty blushing as she looked down at the ground.

It turned out Ash hadn't been as creepily close to their 'campsite' as Misty had initially felt. She'd walked more than a few minutes away in her drowsy haze and endured shiver after shiver on the cold walk back. However, she'd hardly walked a minute before she heard a rustle coming from the jungle.

Misty froze. It was just like the red-hot poke of panic she'd felt when she and Phoebe had pushed through the jungle earlier that day. Or when Misty had heard all of the insectile noises of the Viridian Forest. It was probably benign, but the urge to scream was tight in her throat.

She hurried her pace. It was all psychological, she knew that, but the quicker she was out of there, the quicker she was unconscious, the quicker all fears of what lay in that jungle would vanish.

But she wasn't quick enough. Before Misty had walked ten more steps, a Venonat leapt out of the brush with terrifying agility, and landed right in her path.

Misty gasped, her breath painful and stuttering in her lungs as she recoiled back, instinctively turning around to run the other way. But then she found herself face to face with a Pinsir, its many mouthparts snapping, as though looking at her was making it hungry.

Her breath was quick and pulsing now, the inhales and releases through her mouth having the same beat as her panicked heart. She didn't even have the wherewithal to scream. She could only whip her head in every direction and realize how trapped she was by her options. Terrifying Bugs in front of and behind her, the jungle to her right, the volcano to her left. Just then, another rustling came from the jungle and a Caterpie squirmed out, shockingly close to her feet.

She couldn't stay. An inhuman whine escaping from her throat, Misty went left. Up the volcano.

At this point, it was really just a mountain. Steep in sections, but climbable if Misty leaned forward and chose good footholds. Run, don't look back, survive.

She didn't know why she'd thought Cinnabar would be a good vacation spot. Bugs thrived in tropical climates—she knew that. She should have chosen Mt. Silver, or maybe an icecap in Sinnoh if she needed to be by the water that badly. Or she should have stolen Phoebe's boat and dropped anchor somewhere in the middle of the ocean. Water for miles in any direction, and no Bugs beyond perhaps a migrating flutter of Butterfree overhead.

Misty managed to scramble to a flattish section of mountain and began running in the direction of camp. If she could circle back down there, then she'd have her Pokémon and could fight back. She'd stand a chance. She couldn't be that far away, right?

Suddenly, Misty saw a flash of movement next to her, and she whipped her head to see.

There was a Venomoth just off her shoulder, way too close for comfort. And when that one moved to the side, it revealed two more just behind it. Suddenly, Misty was flashing back to the scene in the Viridian Forest with those Beedrill. She'd barely been able to escape them, and that had been on flat ground. How could she outrun these flying Bugs when she could barely run at all?

Sweat dripped into her eye, a product of the island humidity at its foggy peak at night. It made Misty's lungs feel too full, overworked as she panted and wheezed. Like she was breathing in something solid, something too dense for her lungs to take. God, she hated the humidity, hated it like she hated these Bugs.

She reached an impasse. There was a split in the mountain. The other side of the gap was higher than the side Misty was on, so there was no way for her to jump. When she looked back down the mountain, she saw the Bug Pokémon she'd abandoned just waiting for her to slip and tumble down into their waiting maws.

When Misty's mind took her to an especially dark place, and she imagined what she would do if there were a bunch of Bugs she couldn't get away from, if there were a bunch of Bugs crawling all over her, she could only hope she would pass out. She didn't think she'd ever be able to get over the trauma of remembering that many Bugs swarming on and around her. Being unconscious was the only way to survive it. She wished, in that moment, that her adrenaline would seep out of her body, that she would grow weak and weary and fall to her knees here on this volcano, collapsed and lifeless. The Bugs would do what they would do and when she came to, they would be gone. That was the best she could hope for at this point.

Then she remembered something. Phoebe had said that they had the power to summon ghosts with their minds. It hadn't worked with Noir before, but maybe this time, with her mind screaming loud enough that Noir should have been able to hear her from the other side of the world, Noir would come.

Misty fell to her knees. She closed her eyes, knowing she wouldn't be able to focus with the horrors in front of her. Then, she thought of Noir. She thought of her name, her face, her body, hovering there on the volcano. Noir. Noir, Noir, Noir, Noir.

After a few moments, Misty figured if it hadn't happened yet, it wouldn't ever. But she still didn't want to open her eyes. Right now, in a near-fetal position on the side of the volcano, she could almost pretend that the Bugs weren't there. She couldn't hear anything, no wings flapping, no jaws snapping…it was silent save for a light breeze whistling in her ears. She could pretend she was safe.

But she had to open them. She had to get herself out of this situation. With every ounce of courage she had, her eyes flew open. For a second, all she could see was craggy rock, but when she glanced up, she saw not three Venomoth, but Noir floating in front of her and looking slightly puzzled.

Before Misty could restrain herself, she reached out and brought Noir in, squeezing her for all she was worth. "Oh, thank goodness," Misty said, her throat tight.

Noir, not one known for great shows of physical affection, was wiggling in Misty's arms. "Bay?"

"You scared them away!" Misty declared frantically. "You must have scared them away!"

She looked over Noir's shoulder to see that even the Pokémon at the base of the volcano had fled back to the forest. She hadn't even heard them go. Gratefully, Misty pulled Noir back, holding her at arms' length, and saw that the Pokémon still looked confused.

"The Bugs," Misty clarified, although she was now sounding a little confused herself. "You scared away the Bugs."

Noir looked skeptical. She shook her head and Misty's confusion grew.

"Huh. Well, I guess they saw you before you saw them. Or sensed you before you sensed them."

That seemed to satisfy both of them. If the Bugs hadn't been scared by Noir, then maybe they'd just realized that Misty didn't have anything for them. Despite Misty's fear of Bugs, now that her adrenaline was seeping out of her system, she remembered how unusual it was for most Pokémon to act aggressively like that. Beedrill and a few other species were known for their aggression, but not all Bugs were. Venonat weren't. Caterpie certainly weren't. It was something out of nightmares more than something she'd expected to happen in reality.

She couldn't think about it now, though. All the hormones that had just been flooding her body were ebbing away and leaving exhaustion in their wake. She felt heavy, and could hardly imagine making the climb down the mountain and back to her sleeping bag.

"Noir," Misty said, her voice now low and dull. "You're going to have to help me off this mountain."

Now that, Noir was prepared to do. She couldn't be much of a spotter for Misty's careful descent down this relatively steep chunk of rock, but she could fly around and look for good footholds. And, not unimportantly, she was there for moral support.

When Misty's sneakers finally dropped onto relatively flat ground, bits of rock interspersed with chunks of grass, she relief soaked through her like water.

"Thank you."

She looked gratefully at Noir, who was hovering at about eye level. Noir seemed to return it, lowering down so that she and Misty could hold hands. This was the most physical contact Misty usually got out of Noir, and she was fine with it. Right now it was more than enough.

They made it to camp just a few minutes later. She'd been so close to camp the whole time, it was hard to reconcile. What had felt so perilous moments ago—the jungle, the volcano, the wilderness—now had an atmosphere of safety. Phoebe was still fast asleep, mouth hanging slightly open as she snored lightly. It was as though it had never happened.

And Misty was fine with that. The less she thought about those Bugs now, the quicker she'd be able to get to sleep and, hopefully, the less fitful her rest would be. She probably only had an evening of nightmares to look forward to but, if the world had any mercy, she'd be able to get in some real sleep in between.

Feeling heavy with sleep, Misty dragged her sleeping bag a little closer to Phoebe's—for an extra sense of security—and kicked off her shoes before slipping in. Just before her head hit the pillow, she looked up at Noir and whispered, "Do you mind staying while I sleep?"

Light as a feather, Noir floated down to Misty's stomach and sat by way of answering. With that slight bit of weight anchoring her, Misty smiled and, finally, fell asleep.


A/N: I told y'all I would be back soon this time!

It's so funny to me, I could tell in rereading this chapter EXACTLY where 20yo me stopped and 24yo me began, because the writing was suddenly better, haha. I wonder if you can tell, hint, it is at a bit of a scene shift. This chapter used to be connected to the previous one, which was the fic's longest chapter for a while. Then I split it and added a chunk, and just now I cut a super stupid circuitous part of Ash and Misty's convo that didn't make sense. Sometimes you gotta wonder what 20yo you was thinking.

I always really enjoyed writing Misty's bug phobia, because it's purely inspired by my lifelong fear of spiders. Everything that you're reading about that in this chapter is me, not Misty. I used to think that I didn't put much of myself in my writing, but of course I do. It's all me.