Nine layers of Hell

by fvdv123

ROB, the Random Omnipotent Being, is pissed off at the Fan Fiction Authors for using and abusing his name in their stories. So, when I died, I got His revenge. Forced to live through my favorite stories, I have to avoid ending up in Hell. M for a reason, all the tropes will get their turn and there will be girls eventually. You know me, MR Cringe and Gary Stu are supervising.

46. Chapter 46

Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., Thank you for letting us mess with your stories, if I had money, I would pay for it, if I had talent, I still wouldn't ask money for it.

Previous:

Now this is my kind of Layer! A bunch of girls in my bed that are eager to ride my Dong! I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Hermione riding wild on me, I felt different hands and lips all over my body, and an Elf called out loud: "You be Not Hurting Harry Potter!"

SON OF A BLOODY BITCH!

LEVEL SEVEN SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED

46 Troubles in a Pillowcase.

I came to my senses when I felt danger and did an area-wide banishing charm, when I focused, I saw Malfoy fly head over heels through the corridor with his wand still in his hand. With a thought, I snapped it.

I looked beside me to thank Dobby for saving my ass, and I saw Harry looking at me slack-jawed… Huh? I looked down and saw a pillowcase with an elf in it… I AM FUCKING DOBBY? I suppressed the memories that tried to flood in, turned to Lucius, and decided to follow the script a bit.

"You will leave and not hurt Harry Potter again, bad old Master! Leave!" I threatened.

Lucius stood up, looked at his broken wand, and back at Harry: "You will pay for this, Potter!"

Meh, the Hell with the script, another banisher sent him flying against a wall, "Master Harry Potter Sir will not be paying. You go, NOW!"

Lucius scrambled his last dignity together and staggered away. I realized that I have to do this Layer as a freaking Elf, the upside? I am a free Elf, now I have to take care of the Sacrifice, aka Potter. I looked at him and snapped my fingers, Harry's clothes were clean again, another snap of my fingers cleaned the grime and dirt from his body, I frowned, listening charms? I silenced them for my talk.

Now I took a risk: "Harry Potter Sir? Can Dobby make an offer to Harry Potter Sir?"

Harry came to his senses, "What offer do you mean Dobby? Thank you for saving me from Malfoy, by the way."

I smiled: "Dobby saw how Harry Potter is treated by his evil Aunt and Uncle, If Dobby is to be a Harry Potter Elf, Dobby can bring food to Harry Potter Sir. Dobby be invisible from evil Aunt and Uncle and help Harry Potter with chores."

Harry was convinced by the food supply but asked: "Are you sure you want to be my Elf, Dobby?"

I nodded: "House Elves be needing Wizarding Magic, Master Harry Potter Sir, or we be dying slowly in three or five years."

Harry asked: "How do I do that, Dobby?"

I smiled: "Not now, Master Harry, we be bonding before we go on the Train, please tell nobody of this or they will block elves from coming to your Home. Dobby needs to go now, Dobby needs to prepare."

I removed the silencing charm, popped invisible to the Gates of Hogwarts, and saw Lucius pass through, I silenced and stunned him, then I took him to a quiet place, the Shrieking shack. Finally, I let the old Memories flood in, I am a bloody wedding gift! Arcturus gave me to Malfoy on their wedding day. That explains my bad treatment, Malfoy thought I was spying for the old man, when the old man died, he kept the habit of kicking me around because it was a great stress relief. Year after year flooded my brain, when I was finally done, I grinned.

I snapped my fingers and Malfoy was naked, a few snaps more and all emergency portkeys vanished only his Lord ring remained, carefully I took Lucius's head between my hands and bashed it on the floor two or three times, it could be four or five, I did not really count them.

Hah! It is Dobby time! I popped into Malfoy's secret Safe Houses and cleaned them out, I removed the trackers and curses, loaded everything in trunks, and shrunk it all to Matchbox size, or a cigarette lighter size, or to a tiny size for the non-smokers. I took it all, money, potions, spare wands, emergency tents, and food in stasis. I froze the guardian paintings to prevent them from reporting, they didn't see me anyway but it gave me time to do all the secret hideouts.

My last stop was Malfoy Manor, I popped into the vault and loaded everything into a trunk, expansion runes are the best! So are the featherweight and shrinking charms. It was done in less than a minute, then I popped out. This way Malfoy lost a couple of Million, he robbed them from others so I am not feeling guilty about it. Too bad I could not get the evidence of his Death Eater past, that room is heavily warded against everything, only Lucius and Narcissa were allowed inside.

Xxxxx

What to do with Lucius… if I kill the dude then they will suspect Harry… Hah! I'll let his friends kill him for me. I wrote a few notes to key players, Nott, Parkinson, Flint, and Montague.

My friend and colleague,

I heard from an Elf that Malfoy is responsible for your son to have a Life Debt to Harry Potter. Lucius was responsible for smuggling a cursed artifact from our Dark Lord into the hands of a first-year girl.

That Cursed artifact made that girl open the Chamber of Secrets and release Slytherin's Basilisk!

Potter killed that Basilisk when that cursed Artifact was in the last stages to take complete control over the girl and set the Basilisk to the Great Hall.

You know the spells to check for a Life Debt, see for yourself.

I prefer to stay anonymous, as you know Lucius can be vindictive.

A friend and loyal to the Dark Lord's course.

An elf posting letters is normal, Purebloods are a lazy bunch after all.

Xxxxx

Lucius woke up and looked around, people were standing at a distance and looked slack-jawed at him, with a splitting headache he stood up, why was he in Diagon Alley? The last thing he remembered was leaving Hogwarts.

Suddenly he became aware that something was wrong, he checked himself and saw that he was dressed in a Pillowcase… He was dressed as a House Elf!

"Who's you be looking at!" he shouted, "Yous be looking aways from me!"

Lucius noticed his speaking disorder, raging he shouted: "Yous be sorry that yous be messing with me!"

Lucius attracted a crowd with his yelling, he made a fine Elf, I must say, a bit of transfiguration on his face, made his eyes a bit bigger, his nose a bit longer and his Elf ears sticking out to the side. A few Aurors came closer.

One of them said: "Mr. Malfoy, please come with us, we received complaints that you were exposing your body parts to young children. We don't know why you want to be a House Elf, and personally, I don't want to know, but that Pillowcase is not covering everything."

"I be tricked! Bad men tricked Lucius! I be mad! Yous all be sorry to sees me!" shouted Lucius.

The other Auror said: "You can not go too far with this joke, Mr. Malfoy, even when you love to play House Elf, we prefer that you do this in the privacy of your own home, and spare us a visit to a mind healer to erase this memory. Please come with us."

The third Auror dryly commented: "I bet Umbridge can use an Elf or Minister Fudge, why don't we ask them."

I popped away from the Alley, that will keep the Malfoy's busy, I saw Rita in the crowd with Bozo, her cameraman. I stashed my loot in Petunia's attic under an elf notice me not. I have some free time before the train ride…

Xxxxx

Moody opened a suspicious letter, after going over it with several analyzing spells,

Mr. Mad Eye,

I have several points to discuss with you, first of all, as proof that I speak the truth, Crouch Senior let his son Barty Junior escape Azkaban by switching his dying wife with his son, using Polyjuice. He has been keeping him at home under the Imperio Curse.

Second point, Peter Pettigrew is an animagus rat, and very much alive. He has been hiding as a pet rat at the Weasley's, currently with the youngest son Ronald. Yes, he was the secret keeper and Black was the decoy. Black, an Auror, was thrown in Azkaban without a trial, meaning Dumbledore needed him to be in Azkaban. The Rat animagus has been at Hogwarts for five years, as you know the wards alert the presence of an animagus.

Third point, did you know that students have been petrified at Hogwarts? Some of them for seven months! Dumbledore and Pomfrey are committing child abuse and criminal neglect! They refused to buy Mandrakes for the potion to cure them or to send them to St Mungo's. That makes them oath breakers, but I doubt they took oaths in the first place, or that Dumbledore used his two fake middle names to make the oaths invalid.

Fourth, a little Weasley girl was possessed by a Horcrux for almost a year, and Dumbledore just sent her home to her parents, without visiting a Mind Healer.

I prefer to stay anonymous, Dark Lord Dumbledore has too much power.

Swearing some colorful curses, he yelled: "Scrimgeour! Bones! Come with me!"

Xxxxx

At six in the morning, I popped onto Harry's bed and looked at Ron's bed. A snap of my fingers put the rat to sleep, another snap put the rat in an unbreakable cage and under Ron's bed. Scabbers disappearing for a day or two was normal for Ron, he wouldn't miss him.

I silenced Harry's bed and inspected the boy and his trunk, Dumbledore is bloody paranoid! Trackers all over the place, listening charms on the glasses and wand, the trunk has them too. With a few snaps, I silenced the charms and woke Harry up.

When Harry was sitting up, I softly spoke: "Harry Potter Sir, Dobby has done all he needed to do. Can Harry Potter make Dobby a Potter Elf now? Dobby can find Potter houses for Harry Potter Sir to live in. Potters being very rich and have a lot of houses. Master Harry could live in one of those."

Harry nodded: "That would be great, Dobby. Do I have to do it now?"

"No, Master Harry," I answered, "Puts some clothes on and Dobby will show you a secret room."

Xxxxx

Fifteen minutes later we were on the seventh floor looking at the tapestry of the dancing trolls. I showed Harry how to open the room and how to make it to his liking. Once inside I let him vanish the door.

I could relax now, "It is time, Master Harry Potter sir, you can safely make me your Potter elf, put your hand on my head and say your name and you wants to have me in your family."

Harry put his hand on my head and said: "I Harry James Potter want the House elf Dobby to be a part of my Family."

I put my hand on his hand: "Dobby wants to be a part of Harry James Potter's family."

A nice glow surrounded us for a bit and settled in our bodies. I felt the link to Harry in an instant."

I sighed: "Master Harry, thank you very much, Dobby will serve you well."

Harry chuckled: "As long you try not to kill me by helping, Dobby, you had me in trouble many times."

I pulled my ears: "Dobby was afraid of the Dark Magic in that book, Master Harry, that was bad Magic."

I smiled at him and said: "Bad book is gone now, Dobby will serve Harry Potter from now on. Let Dobby explain to Master Harry. House Elves loves to take care of the family, wes be feeling the needs of our Masters and wants to fulfill them. If Master needs Dobby to come, Master just needs to say Dobby's name, at the muggles, Dobby will come invisible."

"Dobby's task is to buy clothes, go to Gringotts, buy books for school, and tend the houses of Master Harry. It is also the task of Dobby to warn Master Harry of danger." I explained, Man, talking like an Elf is bloody hard.

Harry stood up, "We better go back before someone wakes up."

"Dobby can do that, Master Harry, Sir. But first, raise your wand and say, I Harry James Potter claim the Carcass of the Basilisk as my rightful spoils for defending the students of Hogwarts, then say so mote it be. This be important, Master Harry." I urged him

Harry followed my advice, a glow confirmed the claim.

"Master Harry, now raise your wand and say, I Harry James Potter, claim the Chamber of Secrets and its contents as right of Conquest, then do the so mote it be, Master Harry."

Dazed, Harry followed my advice and claimed the Chamber, again the glow confirmed the claim.

"Now Master Harry, this be important, Raise your wand and say. Lock Chamber of Secrets for every creature, except for Dobby and Master Harry, with the so mote it be, Master Harry."

Harry asked after he did that, "Why did I have to make all these claims, Dobby?"

"Master Harry, Basilisk is worth a lot of Galleons, closing the chamber is keeping nasty thieves out, Harry Potter Sir killed the Snakey alone, so Master Harry owns the Snakey. Dobby will sell the Snakey, so Master Harry doesn't have to live with hateful Aunt anymore." I better tell him that he needs the money for his own before he will play Santa Claus.

I took his hand and popped him on his bed, "Don't tell anyone you took me in the family yet, Master Harry Sir, some mean one could find out and try to stop us."

Harry nodded, I removed my silencing charms and popped away. Now, the next item on my list is the Tiara of Ravenclaw. It took me some time to locate it, once I got it, I put it in an old trunk and popped into the chamber. A bit of Basilisk venom and a part of Voldy was on the way to the beyond.

A quick search got me a few shed skins, I took a fang for evidence to show it to Golddigger. If I timed it right, Dumbledore will have his hands full explaining Pettigrew, Black, and why he messed it up. Time enough for me to get the Basilisk to Gringotts.

Xxxxx

The Daily Deceiver headlined

The secret urges of Lord Malfoy exposed!

Dear Readers,

Yesterday Lord Malfoy took his hidden vices too far! Some people like to spice their love life up with role-playing, but for some reason, Lord Malfoy appeared in Diagon Alley dressed, like a House Elf! Even his face and ears were transfigured to look like a House Elf! To top it all, he even talked like one!

Dear Readers, we all know that house elves spell their pillowcases to cover their private parts, Lord Malfoy deliberately did not, he exposed it all to the people! There were a lot of mothers with children that were shocked to the core, and tried to shield their children from mental trauma!

We are certain the Aurors that arrested Lord Malfoy will go to the bottom of this.

All we ask is that Lord Malfoy keeps his urges in his bedroom, and spare us from his fantasies.

Your Reporter

Rita Skeeter.

Secret fantasies, how far can you go? More on page 4

Spells to protect your decency more on page 5

Other ways to play Master and Servant on page 6

The many uses of a Pillowcase, more on page 7

Is Lucius free to bond to another family? We list candidates on page 8

Xxxxx

Poor Draco, from the Prince of Slytherin to the son of an Elf in one morning, he lost his bodyguards when they read the article, suddenly there was plenty of room around him, the picture of his dad in a Pillowcase and looking like Me was in front of him.

I heard Daphne ask out loud: "Draco, did your Mum give clothes to… well, that, and kick it out?"

Draco was spared from answering when the doors of the Great Hall slammed open and Moody, Bones, and Scrimgeour followed by a bunch of Aurors and Healers barged in, hey Neville's Gran is there with some old fogeys. One of the Aurors went to the Gryffindor table, fetched a prefect, and took him to his dorm, I popped to Ron's bed and put the cage on Ron's bed, a spell kept the rat asleep.

I popped back to the Great Hall to hear Moody and Bones wax Dumbledore's ears about leaving children petrified for months, especially the Healer was raging about it.

"I want Pomfrey fired from her job this minute!" he yelled, "And You, Dumbledore, explain to me why your Oaths didn't compel you to send these children to St Mungo's? Did you even take the Headmaster's Oath? McGonagall? How dare you sit here while children are petrified for months? Have you no shame?"

Bones faced Dumbledore: "You must have known what possessed the little Weasley Girl, Albus, your wards should have told you that. Sending her home without a visit to a Mind Healer is enough reason to dismiss you. Healer Abercrombie asked you a question that I need answered, Did you take the Headmaster Oaths?"

Dumbledore was caught with his pants down, he never expected it to come out this way. "I made my Oaths, Amelia, in fact, your Father was one of the witnesses of that Oath." he recuperated.

Madam Bones nodded: "Yes, I asked him, he said you swore as Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. But when we looked in the archives, we noticed that you are registered as Albus Percival Dumbledore. We asked the Unspeakables, and they confirmed that any Oath with those extra names done by you is invalid."

Madam Bones glared at him: "I now demand you to take an Oath on your Magic that you never knowingly and deliberately violated the Oaths you took under your false name. Right now, or we will demand them at your trial at the Wizengamot."

Dumbledore paled, that would squib him in a second! His actions of this year alone would squib him.

Vulture Hat demanded the same: "It is disturbing to know that you were not bound by your Oaths, Albus, we trusted on those Oaths that you were righteous in your judgment, now we have to go over every rule you might have broken. Take the Oath, Albus, that way you can prove it was a misunderstanding instead of a deliberate crime."

Several of the old fogeys, I suspect the Board of Governors agreed with the Vulture.

Dumbledore stood up and said: "Alas, I can not do that, if I take that Oath, then with the smallest infraction I would lose my Magic."

Bones was armed against that and said: "Alright, then now I demand you to take an Oath on your Magic that you never knowingly and deliberately violated the Oaths you took under your false name that would get you five years in Azkaban. You can't call that a small infraction, can you? Or Ten years? Fifteen?"

Hah! That is my Milf! She cornered Dumbledore with that demand, the Vulture said: "Albus? The Oath, or we will press charges for child abuse and Oath breaking."

Dumbledore shook his head: "I have too many things to do, Augusta, You see, Voldemort is not completely dead, and I have to prepare our world against it. Therefore I must go."

He held his hand up, too bad I was prepared and shot the turkey out of the air, I grabbed all his wands, in the name of House Potter of course. I kept him in place until Madam Bones stunned him. I placed his spare wand in front of him and silently popped away.

A quick visit to the old man's office made me collect all the Potter possessions, Pensieve, books, philosopher stone, Grimoires, you know, two trunks full of House Potter loot. I temporally stored my loo… House Potter's possessions in the Chamber of Secrets, one last action is to fill two small bottles with Basilisk Venom.

Xxxxx

Kreacher opened the door, "What does the Malfoy E… Potter Elf wants from Kreacher?"

I showed a bottle of Venom: "This is Basilisk venom, dip the evil locket in it to destroy it. Kreacher, Malfoy poisoned Walburga and Master Arcturus. Master Arcturus wanted Master Sirius out of Azkaban. Mistresses Bellatrix and Narcissa be knowing that."

I doubt he heard what I said after dipping the Locket. Now the ring, that idiot never thought that an elf would go after the ring, a few snaps of my finger and all the traps have vanished, a few snaps more and the ring got a dip in Basilisk Venom.

That leaves the cup and Harry, I popped back to Harry and relaxed, all the bad stuff is almost done… Hmm? Why is Winky here? Why is Winky glaring at me?

"Dobby? Are yous being on the Eight Layer?" asked Winky softly.

I swallowed, and nodded, "Yes, I am."

Two hands closed on my neck and a voice hissed in my ear: "If you think for a second of shagging me, I will cut it off!"