A/N: Hey guys! Back again with another one, less angsty this time, hope you like it!

It's only when she gets back home, staring at the dark ceiling right before she goes to sleep does it hit her.

A fear.

A fear that perhaps she's given too much of herself away, said too much, meant too much. And even under the weight of her blanket she feels raw and exposed. Pulling the fabric closer to her, as if it could shield her, she tries to calm her rapidly beating heart.

But her grip on herself isn't as strong as her grip on the blanket. Her emotions, her thoughts, all of which she's given far too freely.

How could this have happened?

Now all she remembers is his smile, the way his lips tilted upwards occasionally as she talked. And his eyes, gazing at her in a way that made her feel enveloped…safe.

And he had grabbed her hand, and intertwined their fingers, and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles.

Somehow that had been enough to cause her resilience to crumble.

But try as she might, glaring into the darkness of the room, she can't really be mad at him. Because deep down she knows it's not his fault…but the alternative is scarier.

The alternative is…her.

Her own self that's betrayed her in pursuit of this new path she's going down. Her own self that's lowered unnecessary defenses, that's allowed her to share herself with him.

The words had just flowed out so easily, she recalls, thinking back. And now that she's alone and facing the consequences of her actions, the same words feel like pricks of a knife that she's using to backstab herself.

It shouldn't be this scary, she pleads to the air, closing her eyes tightly, heart still racing. It shouldn't be this hard.

How wonderful it had sounded when he's turned to her and said earnestly, "I want to know you." How wonderful it felt to finally say the things she's thinking.

But the wonderous feeling is now gone as she's faced with the rawness of her exposure, she wishes to take it all back, seal it all in.

She isn't ready, she was wrong. This is too much change. Much more, much harder than she thought when she had nodded along to his request.

She feels like she's losing a part of herself.

As if saying her thoughts and emotions, telling them to someone makes them disappear from herself. Her grip on herself is loosening.

Her phone buzzes, lighting up a small patch of the dark ceiling. She turns to grab it from her nightstand, squinting a little as she reads the message.

Good night beautiful! Thanks for today :)

She can't stop the smile on her face, as she sends back a heart, resting the phone back down. Once again, the room is flooded with darkness and she's back with her thoughts.

Her fingers aren't clutching the blanket anymore since she reached for her phone, and she holds them out in front of her.

She can barely make them out, even with the faint light coming in through the window.

Quite literally, she's had to let go of comfort to reach for the new thing.

Much like life, she supposes, resting her fingers on her blanket again. No longer desperately clutching but just pushing firmly, maintaining her hold. This is one balance she thinks she can strike.

It still doesn't feel good, but her heart has calmed down and she's gone from panic to a general sense of uneasiness back in the mind.

She turns to look at the outline of her phone.

But, she thinks, for someone like him, it's worth it.

A/N: To grow is to lose a part of yourself, the familiarity of yourself. Because to grow is to change, you can't grow if everything stays the same.

And lately I've learned that when you're intentionally trying to grow, losing that part of you is scary and horrible and there are so many times where I regret every word I've said and I want to close myself back in where it's comfortable and I doubt if it's even worth it.

And this fic is about that change, that growth, that doubt. Especially in a relationship (of any kind really) where often times you'll need to grow and change to deepen it because it's not just you anymore, there's another person involved.

This series often mirrors my own life and I wanted to capture this feeling, mostly to know that I can still write them even if I talk about them with somebody. (And I'd much rather write them than talk).

I hope you guys liked it! Please Review! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

And as always, thanks for reading!

See ya! :)