AN: Sorry for the long delay in story updates, I'm still struggling with my health and pain levels. At the moment the battle is to find a medication for my chronic pain that agrees with me. The first medication made me nauseous, and the second one helps my pain somewhat but leaves me extremely fatigued and tired. As always though, I assure my readers that my stories won't be abandoned, even if I have to take longer between updates, they WILL be updated. Lots of Love, Ems. x

"Then if the son you lost was Ronald's...then Rose's father is...?"

She smiled then, though there was nothing remotely happy about it. "Rose's father..."

Is Fenrir Greyback"

There was a nausea inducing sense of vertigo at her softly spoken words, memories of revels and raids and more than one humiliating and debasing encounter of his own with the large and insane werewolf, both during the war and after.

Severus's fear of werewolves was his one true weakness in the eyes of the Dark Lord, after being informed by that rat pettigrew. The werewolf, being the favourite pocket pet of the Dark Lord, meant that Fenrir was both the perfect threat for motivation and instrument of punishment for the Potion's master and Severus had no end of personal experience to fall back on that attested to the depraved ferocity that was an unleashed Fenrir with permission to do as he pleased, as long as his 'toy' was still alive afterwards.

Fenrir wasn't gay, in fact he had a very strong penchant for young girls.
Very young girls.
Too young girls.
Though that didn't stop him using sex as a powerful weapon in his arsenal when it came to punishing someone on behalf of the Dark Lord and Fenrir always took to the job with unholy glee and gained more than ample pleasure from the screams of his victims regardless of their gender, something Severus himself could personally attest to.

But whenever Fenrir had been set upon someone in the past, including himself, it had always been with the clear understanding from the Dark Lord that they were either a) ultimately to be killed, so he may do as he please, or b) When punishing death eaters like Severus himself, his ferosity was to be mostly reigned in so that they were left fully functional afterwards.

If Bellatrix had given the girl to Fenrir at Malfoy Manner, Severus knew with certainty that her intention would have been to torture the girl to death, whether she got what information she had wanted or not, so Severus felt sick at the thought of what could have happened to her under both the wand of Bellatrix and Claws of Fenrir, when neither had intended her to survive the encounter...of that he was certain.

Still, he had to be sure.

"Fenrir...raped you?"

There was a choked laugh then, almost hysterical in nature, as she spat a mouthful of wine back into her glass, lest she choke on it, and it made him wince back at her frightening tone.

"Well he certainly didn't take me for dinner and a movie" there was a comtemplatuve pause and then " I don't think rape is a strong enough word to describe what he did to me".

He could only take her in then, gaze upon her closely and sure enough he saw the light silvery scars around her neck, from a grip that was all too familiar.

"No... I don't believe it is". He said softly and she cocked her head in his direction speculatively.

"You?" She asked, and her tone was decidedly flat. There was no judgement or even worse pity in her tone, just pure curiosity, so after a moment he chose to answer... honestly.

"...Yes. Though he was quite a bit more...muzzled... in my case, the Dark Lord had to make sure I was still fit for purpose afterwards."

She had winced at his description, then sat in contemplative silence afterwards, until he felt the need to break it.

"Do you wish to talk about it ?" He asked smoothly, though hoped with everything he had that she would answer in the negative. He could barely contemplate his own violent interactions with the manic werewolf, locking them so deeply behind his occlumency shields so that barely a hum of them resonated in his mind.

"No... Gods No...I don't think I could... not now anyway...maybe some other time, if the offer stands?" Amber eyes met his over the rim of her wine glass and he barely inclined his head in a nod of acquiescence.

"So the encounter with Fenrir, was only a few days after your relations with Mr. Weasley?" Again she snorted a laugh, but this time didn't look at him, and her answer was aimed into her wine glass as she swirled it in her hand.

"Try the other way around"

This time it was his turn to choke on his wine, his eyes snapped to hers but she didn't lift her gaze from the whine she swirled in her hand. "You and Mr Weasley... So soon after Fenrir?... I don't mean to judge" He added on hastily at the look she gave him, though she merely waved him off.

"Yes you did, but it's fine I don't take offence. I did... We did, 2 days later. It was at Shell Cottage, after Fleur patched me up. I was mostly healed, or healed as much as I could be with what we had available. If we had more time, more supplies, I could have perhaps been healed better...more thoroughly and with less scars, though I didn't die and I could still fight, so that was the main thing at the time at least."

It pained him to hear her so blasé about her trauma, which he was sure was extensive. However the light in her eyes showed that her pain was truly soul deep and her callous words were but a shield she used to protect herself. Something that Severus himself could relate to, all too clearly.

"I will not pry any further , you do not owe me an explanation, nor do you need to bring up old wounds for my sake"

He said honestly, and she offered him

that sad smile again.

"It's fine Severus , I know the Morbid curiosity must be killing you - "

It actually was , it was like the urgent need to watch a car crash, and part of him just needed to know.

"I didn't go looking for...it...or for him. He came into my bedroom at shell cottage and, talked me into it I suppose would be the general gist of it. He didn't force me or anything..."

Severus had to hold back his opinion when she said that.

"But I was so... overwhelmed? I just..."

"Went along with it ?" He finished for her and she confirmed with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"Forgive me for speaking Ill of the dead, but Weasley seemed to have a habit of making you 'go along with it' in situations that he really should not have and any control of to begin with"

"You noticed that too huh?" Chagrined she asked him.

"Congratulations, it took me much longer to realise it and come to terms with it afterwards. It's one of the few things I selfishly use to alleviate my own guilt over letting him walk to his own death"

"He tried to kill you, and your infant for something that was done to you, that was out of your control entirely. After he acted no better and coerced you while you were convalescing, vulnerable and unable to offer true consent. And on top of all that he did it irresponsibly without a thought of protection for either of you, or the repercussions of having unsafe relations. He should have been shunned not liaised and he's lucky he's not alive because I would've flayed him for what he did"

"You're talking like he raped me Severus"

The words were quiet and cautious

"Didn't he?" He countered and she was silent, for she had no fitting answer for him.