To his delight she just laughed and went to pour them some more tea.
And he couldn't help but smile, that the true hell of his existence had been put on hold for another 12 hours at least.
They checked on the children once more, to find them sleeping peacefully and quiet in the cot. Sascha, the ever constant presence was laid on the floor beside the cot, but made no move to get up when they entered the room, their only acknowledgement from the faithful canine guardian was the muffled noise of the stubby tail wagging at their approach.
"She's never slept this peacefully before" Hermione said to him in a whisper, though only had eyes on her daughter and Severus's son. "Like I said, when Hugo died it was like she started crying and she just wouldn't stop. She would cry herself sick with colic and cry herself to sleep, and then wake herself up because she was crying in her sleep. It drove Ronald absolutely spare. I've tried every potion, every parenting method, I put a mirror in her cot and nothing. I've just been so... so tired. If it wasn't for Sascha watching her on a night, I don't know how I would've coped or even slept at all."
He looked at her then, truly looked at her. Her skin was slightly pale as though she barely ventured out into the sun anymore, as attested to by the overgrown state of the once loved front garden. Her clothes hung a little loosely on her frame as though she had lost a lot of weight entirely too quickly. Her eyes looked tired too, and he imagined she was using some kind of notice me not glamour on her face, as even someone as perceptive as he, hadn't even realised it until he looked closely upon her just now.
The babies arms moved a little and Rose grasped the boy's hand tightly in hers, and Severus having just learned of her parentage, tried and failed at hiding his flinch.
"She's not wolf" Hermione said, without looking at him, instantly understanding his reactions and he began to apologise, mortified that she had noticed his indiscretion.
"Don't." She turned to face him with a sad smile and a gentling hand on his arm. "It's only natural Severus, anyone would worry , let alone someone with a less than stellar history when it comes to werewolves like you, especially Rose's father. But for what it's worth, she's not wolf. I had her tested as soon as I realised that she wasn't Ron's. She's not wolf and she's not contagious. She will have some traits I'd wager, Like Bill and Teddy do I would imagine, but right now the only thing that is apparent is that she has a violent intolerance to silver and monkshood, which makes life with a colicky baby...hard to say the least."
He winced at her words, monkshood otherwise known as wolfsbane was used in a very wide array of potions but silver...he hadn't thought. Silver was used in some form or other in all medicinal potions. When it wasn't included outright in the brew as powdered medicinal silver, one would use silver stirring rods or silver cauldrons. Finding a medicinal potion that wasn't somehow touched or tainted by silver in its process would be impossible, for the use of silver was a quick way of reducing brewing time and costly and intricate ingredients. Why would anyone brew a potion that took twice as long, with costly ingredients that took twice as much preparation work, when it was cheaper, easier and quicker with the addition of silver? Most standard healing potions could be brewed in a couple of hours, by someone with moderate skill but to remove silver from the process entirely...it would take it up to 6 hours or more of intricate work depending on the brew. It was challenging, but do-able for a potion's master, if only he had access to a lab and ingredients...
"Come on, I'll show you to the guest room" His musings were interrupted as she led him down the hall to the room that was opposite the master bedroom as she pointed out. "This is me, and this is you"
When she opened the door, the bedroom beyond was of average size for a second room, with a small double bed, bookshelf, desk and wardrobe. Furnished in plain and simple colours, it was nothing fancy, and had no personal touches, obviously always intended to act as a guest room.
"I'm sorry, It's not much but it has it's own en-suite toilet, you'll have to use the main bathroom though if you want to take a sh-bath"
It was almost twice the size of his bedsit. With no drafts, leaks or cockroaches.
"Thank You" He said sincerely, and he did his best not to let the emotion cloud his voice. In the past 24 hours it felt as though all the barriers and walls he'd erected around himself had crumbled to dust, and he felt the mortifying burning in his eyes that signalled he was close to tears once more.
"I'll leave you to it" She half whispered and then to his surprise, caught him in an unexpected hug. "Take care Severus, you've had an exhausting day, get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning"
"Thank you" he whispered back into her voluminous hair, and felt her smile against his chest. Only then did he realise how tiny she was. this little warrior woman who was as strong as an amazon, held securely in his arms.
Only when he was safely ensconced in the room, wards erect and settled in the most comfortable bed he could ever recall sleeping in, did he allow himself to weep once more.
oOo
When he awoke in the morning, he felt rotten despite having what was arguably the most and best sleep he'd had in years. His face was sticky from crying and his throat was dry and raw, and his injured arm throbbed as he carefully moved into the nursery to check on his son.
Despite that though, when he first awoke he was so comfortable in the small yet plush bed that he thought he was back at Hogwarts, until true awakening brought forth the memories and realisation of the past day and he blearily dragged himself from bed with a pressing need to relieve his bladder, that was only trumped by an urgent pull that was the need to see his son.
He was mortified to find Hermione already there, nursing both of the babies once more, and sunlight streaming in through the windows. In his half awake state he hadn't realised that it was so late in the morning, he usually was awake before the dawn, teeth chattering from the cold. Plus, he would have been sure to banish all traces of his crying from his face, had he suspected that she might already be awake, instead he found himself stood quite vulnerable and wrong footed at the doorway, though she only offered him a soft smile. Who was he kidding? She'd been the one to return for him in the shrieking shack, half dead and covered in his own blood, piss and vomit...for Merlin's sake she'd been the one visiting him in Azkaban, where he was half naked and beaten wreck so she'd seen him looking far far worse.
"How are you holding up? I'm sorry for not waking you, I knocked and peeked my head in when you didn't answer, but you looked so tired and after yesterday's events, you needed the sleep...I hope you don't mind?" She gestured to the boy in her arms, then for him to once more take the seat beside her and he waved her worry off.
"I took care of the morning nappy for you change though, I figured you wouldn't mind missing that" he snorted before smiling wryly
"You figured right, though it is something that I shall no doubt have to get used to"
He settled into the seat beside her and ran his fingers softly over the boy's cheek, feeling the gentle sucking motions as he fed once more, and the boy kicked out happily at the feel of his touch, reaching a chubby fist to grab his hand again which made him smile, even as he flushed sightly, as his son's actions had basically clasped Severus's hand upon Hermione's breast, she didn't seem to mind though, giving the boy and indulgent smile.
"Is this alright?" She asked gently, gesturing to the nursing boy in her arms. "I didn't want to presume, but he was hungry and Rose settled better with him beside her, she's so fussy I..." He cut her off by brushing an errant curl behind her ear, which caused her to turn and look at him. "It is fine Hermione, more than fine. I am grateful, thank you. I bow to your superior knowledge in this, and all things relating to my son, so please do whatever you think best".
Having drank his fill, Hermione passed the boy over to him to be winded, while she continued feeding Rose and as she put herself partially to rights, he just managed to not give himself whiplash by averting his gaze once more as she tucked her breast away, though it did nothing to conceal the warmth that filled his cheeks, his sallow complexion doing nothing to hide the blush and Hermione chuckled in good humour.
"Really Severus, stop worrying, I told you I don't mind, in fact I don't know whether to be amused or flattered, though I suppose I shall have to settle for a little of both"
He offered her a small smile back, "Thank You, I'm afraid I am not aware of the niceties for this situation and I unaccustomed to female company at all as of late, the time spent with you and Rose has been the most I have spent with the fairer sex in over a year"
"It must be strange for you then, after Hogwarts? I mean with a few exceptions the majority of the staff were female"
He took a seat beside her once more, though this time cradling his young cooing son to his chest, still holding him as though he were made of fairy glass.
"Indeed. As all and sundry now know, my best friend growing up was Lily Evans and when I started on staff, the colleagues I were most acquainted with were all women"
"I don't mean to pry, blame the hormones it removes any filter I once had, but the way you speak, colleagues you were acquaintances with...did you have no friends on staff Severus?"
He was quiet for a moment, looking at his son and she spoke up gently. "I'm sorry you don't have to answer that".
"No, it is fine. Over the years there have been few who I would consider truly a friend. Both Minerva and Poppy were friendly towards me, but were more maternal figures than anything, I was always distanced from the other staff, I was so much younger than everyone else when I was brought on staff by Albus and with the question of my allegiances hanging over my head at the time, the staff maintained their distance and as did I. We respected each other, we were civil, but nothing more than that. I can count on my hand how many people I would truly call a friend in my liftetime."
And then he did.
"Lily Evans, Regulus Black, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy and Rolando Hooch"
She was quiet for a moment before her words came through barely above a whisper. "Severus...are all your friends dead?"
He didn't answer, simply shrugged and still wouldn't look at her. So she added in a moment later.
"Except for me?"
Turning he eyed her and she smiled back at him. "I consider it a privilege to be the single person of import in your life Severus, the fact that of everyone in the world, you chose to come to me yesterday... it means a lot to me. I hope you would consider me your friend? Because I certainly consider you mine"
He exhaled a shaky breath before quietly confirming. "I have long considered you as such in my head, though would not speak it aloud, I had not dared to think you would consider me as your equal".
She said nothing to that, but leaned her head against his shoulder and put her hand around his waist, the closest she could offer him to a hug whilst still nursing a fussing Rose. Severus put his arm around her shoulder in responce, returning the embrace the best he could with his son cradled in the other arm.
"Harry owled, he dealt with Alice's body, and he's going to make sure that your new status is kept tightly under wraps, the prophet and skeeter won't get anywhere near it, I promise".
"Thank You" He murmured into her hair and she smiled against his chest.
"There's one thing left though..."
She turned her head up to meet his onyx gaze and smiled gently at him.
"We can't keep calling him little man, Severus you need to name your son"