"A toast to two weeks dating each other. May things continue as well as they have been already."

"Hear hear."

After clinking their respective glasses of orange juice together, each drank, though Astrid finished hers first.

"Be right back."

"What? Where are you…"

For she had set her glass on the couch armrest nearby and rose from her place beside him, abandoning her prior perch to sit in his lap.

"Hello there."

"…Hey. What brings you here?"

"Curiosity. So as you know, it's been two weeks since we started dating…"

"Uh huh…?"

"So I was wondering. Hiccup, would you like to meet my parents today…?" She paused mid-sentence. "Or in the future or whatever?"

"Sure. On two conditions. One: you don't ask to meet my dad yet and two: I don't need to see any baby pictures. I'd rather not embarrass you and ask you to do the same."

"Alright then. Deal."

…

If Hiccup were on the witness stand in court, he could honestly swear that he had never been in a more peculiar situation than he was in right now.

He was sat at a table, facing Astrid's mother, with Astrid and her younger sister - Ingrid Hofferson - outside the room conversing.

And between him and her, there was a chessboard.

"So, final question now. What are your intentions with my daughter?"

Hiccup blinked. "Honestly? I have no idea. Just want to see how things go I guess. If Astrid doesn't want to continue things, then we'll break up. Simple as that."

"Hmm. I think you ought to decide on that, sooner rather than later."

"Well my brain is stuck figuring out why you challenged me to a game of chess. I haven't played since I turned fifteen."

Helga Hofferson chuckled. "No offence but it shows," she said, promptly taking his queen - his last piece on the board. "So Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third. I'm going to go back on my previous statement and ask you more questions. First: Is there any chance of grandbabies in the near future?"

"That's up to Astrid I think."

"So that answers my second question then. Alright. I have no more questions then."

"What? No. Tell me what the second question was. I'm curious all of a sudden."

Helga raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Uh yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Alright. I was going to ask if you had done-" Helga made a particular gesture. "-with my daughter. And judging by your expression, yes, you have done it."

"H-how did the first question answer… that?"

"You weren't put off by the mention of grandbabies, which means you know that Astrid isn't in a position to get them, which means you know she's taking certain measures. And for you to know that… well, you can fill in the rest I'm sure."

"Yeah…" Hiccup stood up. "So this has been… really quite bizarre. But it was nice to meet you, Mrs Hofferson. Let's please never do this again."

Helga chuckled again. "Fair's fair. But do feel free to come visit again sometime."

Hiccup nodded. "I will."

…

"So what did my mum say to you back there?" Astrid prompted, as they drove away after all was said and done.

"Do you have a pen and paper? If I were to include everything she asked, it would make quite the list."

"Summarise it, then."

"She asked my full name, how my mother died, how my dad is doing, what I do, how much I make, what car I drive, whether I have any pets, whether I have any hobbies, what I do for hobbies, whether or not I have any siblings, If I have had a girlfriend before you, the name of my first girlfriend, what my intentions are with dating you, if you're pregnant and whether or not we've had sex yet. Astrid, your mother scares me a lot."

"The feeling is quite mutual right now," she replied with a shudder. "When we get to your place, I'm going to make a call."

"By all means. You have my blessing in that."

"Mhm."

"Now I noticed that your dad wasn't there. Is he away somewhere or something?"

Astrid blinked. "Pull over," she said, but something in her tone told Hiccup it wasn't a request.

So he pulled the car over to the pavement, and then was almost immediately embraced by Astrid.

"Astrid?"

"Shh. Just hold me for now. I'll explain later."

So Hiccup did just that, allowing for Astrid to lay her head on his shoulder. But when he felt moisture on his shirt, he started to put two and two together.

"Did your dad serve?"

"Y-yes."

"Alright. No need to explain then. I've figured it out now."

…

Waking up one morning, the sight of the light on in his kitchen, the smell of something cooking and the sound of someone moving around drew Hiccup towards the room. Inside, he bore witness to Astrid in nothing besides underwear and a shirt, dutifully watching the contents of a pan, frying.

He yawned, and that drew Astrid's attention in the form of a glance and a smile. "Morning sleepy head."

"Morning. You're up early."

"Mhm. I won. I beat you. The universe is balanced at last."

"You're never going to let that drop, are you? Astrid, you don't need to wake up early to 'beat me'."

"You don't really get a say in this. Plus, I want to."

"Naturally. What's cooking?" Hiccup asked. "Besides those sausages that I'm smelling."

"Just sausages. No, we're not having sandwiches with slices of sausage. Or even bacon. I'm sick of both. Time for an extended break."

"Forgive her, Odin, for she knows not what she is saying," Hiccup teased, then saw fit to embrace Astrid from behind.

"Time and a place, Henry," she said, but then leaned back against him in contradiction to her words.

"Yeah, now. I think it's only fair since you've taken control of my kitchen."

"Our kitchen."

"You're only proving my point, Astrid. Plus, you don't seem to mind."

"I don't," she conceded. "But can you wait for five minutes? I'm not kidding when I said you're a distraction."

"Alright then," Hiccup let go. "Five minutes. Then your ass is mine," he finished, punctuating his point with a quick squeeze of her behind.

She laughed, slapping his hands away. "And to think, all you needed to stop being grumpy was to get laid."

"Yeah, imagine that," he chuckled, then left the kitchen.