Cid stares at the paper in his hand, eyes blank and unmoving. He's not reading it – he's barely even registering it. He's already read it a thousand times, a few hours ago, he just... can't let it go. So he's standing on the bridge at the helm looking like a complete fucking idiot, one hand on the wheel and one hand on this piece of paper, barely paying attention to his damn job.

No one mentions it. No one says a thing. Everyone keeps their distance, gives him a wide berth, and the few times he looks up he catches sympathetic and knowing glances.

Word's already spread through the ship then. It's no longer a secret, not from him, not from anyone, except for possibly Cloud himself.

Cloud is his son.

Cid's hand tightens until the paper crinkles, and he glances away with a grunt and a curse. There's so much inside him, so many feelings at war he doesn't know what to feel, or what to say. Anger, confusion, fear, curiosity, dread, even hope. It's a clusterfuck and he can't process it now, so it just lingers on his psyche, pushed to the back of his mind.

He still doesn't let go of the paternity test.

"Sir!"

One of his men approaches, standing at attention. "There's a problem! Activity on the sensors – major temperature shifts and geometric readings in the vicinity of Nibelheim, which our specialists believe may indicate an Active Event of some kind."

Immediately, Cid's eyes narrow, waving someone else over to take over the helm. "What level?"

"Code Shiva, sir."

Shiva? Shit. That was one of the highest danger code levels, second only to Bahamut. Meaning that somewhere in or around the base of Mt. Nibel, there was fiend activity large enough to register on their scanners. The ground shaking, spikes and sudden falls of temperature indicating flares of heat or ice... definitely monsters. And as he follows his man to the station with the readout, Cid realizes it's a shitton of monsters.

"Fuck!"

"What's wrong?"

Spinning round, Cid curses again. "The fuck are you, a ghost?" Still, he waves Vincent over, indicating the map. "Nibelheim's in trouble. Readings indicate at least a hundred, probably more, monsters in the area. With that many, they gotta be going after people – the town'll be the goal." Sighing, he turns to order his men to pick up the pace, only to see the flare of Vincent's coattails as he disappears down the hall.

"H – Hey! What the hell?" Shouting a few orders, Cid runs after. "Where're you going?"

"Nibelheim," Vincent murmurs, words heavy like a promise, his eyes hard and expression determined. Cid has to practically run to keep up with his long strides, gaze darting around. They're heading low, for the decks... on the way they pass a few folks, all of whom seem to realize something's happening.

Zack, of all of them, catches onto the danger fastest. "What's up?" He falls into step next to Cid, leaving the young Wutaian nationalist behind. They'd been caught up in a card game of some sort, and Yuffie's yells about Zack still owing her the winnings echoed behind them. Eyes hard and serious, the usually goofy young man looks the part of a SOLDIER, all right.

"Not sure. Monsters, round Nibelheim." He summarizes sufficiently. "Not sure how the hell it happened, came outta nowhere."

"Fuck." Zack curses. "I've seen this before. Dumping a ton of monsters out of the blue into a rural area is a Shinra calling card."

They come out to the deck on the bottom of the ship. Cid slows to a halt, only to stare in awe as Vincent climbs up onto the damn railing. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" The captain rushes forward, grabbing at the man's cloak, catching it's tail in his fingers. The brunette merely glances over his shoulder, completely unconcerned and unaffected by the danger.

"I will be faster on my own." He explains – barely – before shifting his weight, letting gravity take over as his long, lithe form slips over the edge. The cloak slides through Cid's fingers, and Vincent drops, all too soon a red dot below.

Cid never forgot the sight he'd seen when he'd first met the man, and become involved in all this. He knows, logically, that Vincent isn't a suicidal idiot – he thinks. He hopes. The man obviously has a plan, and the plan involves wings.

Fucking wings.

"Wha – hey, man, wait!" Zack starts grabbing onto Cid, much as the blonde had done a moment ago.

"Leggo, I got this!" Cid violently wheels his arm around, trying to break free of his hold.

"Last time I checked, pilots had to have planes to fly!"

"Obviously Vince's got a way to do it!" Cid insists, breaking free and turning to face Zack, one leg perched on the railing. "He's a good guy. He won't let me fall." Probably. He's mostly sure.

One way to find out.

Cid takes advantage of Zack's momentary shock to push off the railing. In the next moment he's freefalling, and shock hits him like a ton of bricks. Wind rushing over him, wailing in his ears, clothes whipping all around him. This is a familiar feeling – but he's never felt it so freely. With no shield or barrier between him and the expansive sky. It's... freeing. For a moment it hits him that he could die this way, and he doesn't think he'd care. This is how he wants to live, and die, free like this, chasing the dreams he's always had, even at the cost of his life.

Then, the great big blue is interrupted with a flash of red, the heavy impact of another body against his own, and the chafing of leather on his skin.

It's still a shock when he's rescued, though it had been his plan – actually experiencing a near death experience, followed by being caught by an actually flying person is still a little too unreal to be completely prepared for. Let alone the fact that Vincent goddamn growled in his ear like a fucking beast, voice gravelly and too heavy to recognize.

There are no words – at least, none Cid understands. "Hey," He manages nervously. "Can I hitch a ride?"

"Me, too!" They both turn, and Cid realizes Vincent had taken them back up, near the deck of the ship. Zack is leaning over the edge and waving. "Do you think you could pick me up, though? I'm not a huge fan of heights."

Vincent gives another growl, and somehow Cid thinks it sounds resigned. He chooses to understand it as acceptance.

They arrive to find the center of town in shambles.

Blood – so much of it the air reeks – and flames, dying and spread thin as the remnants of a fire that had blazed before. In the center stands a handful of surviving fighters, elders of the town, Tifa Lockhart, and of course, Sephiroth.

"Heyyyy!" The moment he sees him, Zack starts waving from his perch, latched onto Vincent's back like an affectionate koala bear. "Seph! How's it going?"

Sephiroth merely glances their way, eyes narrowed in irritation. "What are you doing?"

"I'm flying!" They descend, Vincent regretting all the while ever being involved in this folly. He shakes the humans off, trying to ignore Chaos' grumbling in the back of his head, muttering and groaning his usual angry territorial BS. One look at Sephiroth, though, and the beast howls.

"Mr. Valentine." The man is distant, covered in blood that's not his own, save one small scratch on his cheek. Vincent is zeroed in on it – he can't look away. It's absolutely nothing but he can't stop staring. Sephiroth notices, gaze turning as he frowns and rubs his cheek. "A momentary distraction. I attempted to seek out Cloud Strife and was – delayed." He says the words with shame and bitter anger, clenching his fists, and all that does is make Vincent tremble while Chaos all but screams in his mind, now with the knowledge that not only is Sephiroth's blood in the air, but Cloud is not here.

"Where is he?" The man can barely keep the beast from taking control, and he certainly can't force him back beneath the surface. Sephiroth's eyes widen, suddenly cold and distant once again.

"I do not know. There have been too many beasts -" And almost as if purposefully engaging in irony, the monsters descend on them again. Three enormous wild creatures, all draconic in nature, though smaller than most typical dragons in the area. But there is something clearly wrong with them, even without Vincent's heightened senses, something in the strange green glow of their eyes, the overly manic and wild behavior.

Tifa is in the crowd near them, fending off two on her own. Vincent draws his gun and blasts one of the beasts away with a single shot. That draws her attention. "Where's Cloud?"

"He went looking for his mom!" She shouts at him, punching one of the beasts in the throat. It roars and topples over, crushing the fountain in the center of the square. "Aww, I liked that thing."

Growling, Vincent turns, about to burst into the air again, when a hand takes hold of his shoulder. As tense and irritated as he is, he (Chaos) about takes the man's arm off. If not for SOLDIER reflexes, that is.

"Whoa, hey!" Zack holds up his arms in surrender. "Look, I'll go find him. You stay here, fight with them." Vincent wants to argue, wants to rail against the man and soar off right away, but... he hesitates.

Zack's gaze shifts – darts from Vincent, to behind him, where a silver haired warrior is fighting. He knows. He knows the conflict in Vincent's heart, and it eases the man's anger a bit.

Finally, he nods, spinning around to face the horde again. With a flick of his wrists, he shoots one beast 's head clear off, a beast which had been heading for Sephiroth's open back. The man's tiring – a terrifying thought, since these are not the kinds of beasts at his level. It makes sense. Given the stress and trauma of recent events, he can't be at his best.

Vincent scowls, red and black eyes flaring, and keeps firing.

Between the darkness, he dreams.

It's pitch black, most of the time. But once in a while an image flickers to life: his mother on the ground, the man in the labcoat grinning at him from above. There's someone else, soon after – a man shouting his name, fighting... they're moving, but he can't see. Everything is hazy, blurry, like it's happening to someone else far away.

"It's gonna be okay, buddy, I promise." Who's talking? "Don't worry, I'll figure a way outta here." Who's he talking to? "Cloud, can you hear me?"

… that's me.

He fades away again, and the next time he opens his eyes, he really wishes he hadn't.

The first thing he does is try to move, only to be waylaid by straps on his arms, wrists, ankles, legs, torso... even his neck. Not to mention his muscles feel like jello, like someone scooped his insides. His throat is sore, his mouth tastes like shit, and he could really use something to drink but Cloud has the feeling the scientists lurking around him don't care much.

"Good morning."

Cloud manages a grunt. It was supposed to be a 'fuck you', but grunting was all he could manage.

The speaker steps into the light, and Cloud's heart stops in his chest. Prof. Hojo. Panic beats like a drum in his veins and he clenches his fists but there's no way to fight.

"You are an interesting specimen..." The man begins to pace, speaking but Cloud knows he's not really being spoken to. "Yes... such a high mako tolerance developed from a young age... physical potential clearly of the SOLDIER level... but what to do with... and then... yes... but what if..." The man begins to cackle, his incoherent words and babble sending fresh stabs of panic through Cloud's body. It hurts. Every heartbeat hurts. Someone just connected something to the IV in his arm and he doesn't know what it is or where he is or who -

His mom.

Suddenly he fights more viciously, straining with all his strength while giving a startled yell. Metal bends, alarms shriek, and the scientists begin running around like headless chocobos. But there's a new needle in his arm and hands holding him down, and then a hazy cloud suffocates his mind.

"Hmm... yes... perhaps you can be the one... Reunion has been proven... but to have a true copy... the J cells... yes..."

That's the last thing he hears for a long time.

Sephiroth sits on the airship scowling at his boots. Not that he's particularly irritated at them. They're suitable boots. He likes his clothes, they're one of the few things about himself he's been allowed to control -

He's drifting again.

Sephiroth glowers, leaning forward with his arms on his knees, completely exhausted and downtrodden and cursing himself for his folly.

Everything is a disaster. The terrorists were captured and convinced to aid them, but besides that – disaster. Cloud's hometown is in shambles. On the anniversary of the day so many disappeared, a few dozen more were killed. Homes lost, animals killed and property ruined. Dead monster corpses spread all through town. The snow, more pink than white now.

And Cloud and Zack, completely disappeared.

He blames himself. Well, Sephiroth blames himself for every failure, since as leader it is his responsibility to prevent them in the first place. But this time, he is particularly to blame, because he knows why things happened as they did. He knows Zack elected to find Cloud on his own. He knows Vincent opted to stay behind. He knows why.

Trembling hands lift and grab at his hair, tugging until it hurts.

What is wrong with him? He feels like the world is tipping on its axis and he's struggling to stay standing. His senses are a whirlwind. Colors too bright, vision distorted and curved, then suddenly back to normal as if he imagined it. Maybe he's losing his mind. They all said it would happen eventually.

Footsteps echo in the hall. Sephiroth can't even care enough to put himself back together and keep the illusion of decorum. He just... doesn't care.

Someone sits across from him, on another bench. He ignores them. Breaths, heavily and deeply, near to hyperventilating, unable to forget the look on Vincent's face when they'd searched the whole town and realized Cloud was just gone.

Unable to forget his best friend – only friend's – confident smile, before he'd turned and run away, and disappeared.

All your friends disappear.

"Shut up..."

Maybe it's because of you.

"Shut up!"

"I didn't say anything."

Sephiroth's head snaps up. Sitting across from him is the girl in the pink dress – Zack's girl. The flower girl.

"Aerith."

"Yup." She smiles, nods her head. For some reason, this is important. Sephiroth feels his head clearing, feeling empty and tired but... good.

Then, he remembers.

"I'm sorry." He manages dryly, voice almost cracking. He really has fallen far.

"What for?" Looking up, he sees her smiling – but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She's trying, but he can see the tear tracks left on her face, the redness of her eyes. She's tired, too. After a moment, the look softens into something a little more truthful. "It wasn't your fault."

He says nothing. There's a voice that would tell him... a voice? What would it tell him? There's no voice – just him and Aerith, and this tragedy unfolding around them.

"I will find him." Sephiroth insists suddenly, fists clenching. "Valentine is tracking the mother's scent, from her blood on the scene. Given the evidence left behind, it's clear Hojo is behind this. No one else could be." Her eyes widen, like an frightened animal, and he remembers she's had the same unpleasant experience of knowing the man that Sephiroth has. "We have some idea of where he would take them, and Valentine will be able to pinpoint it more accurately once we are in the area."

After the moment, she gives a short nod. "... how long?"

He's not sure. He says as much. Aerith just hums. "So... we're stuck waiting." A chuckle. "The worst part."

He has nothing to say in return, so he stays silent.

"Hey,"

Glancing up, he sees her smiling again, and he wonders how it is she seems to do it so easily. "I was wondering..." She scoots forward, hands on her knees, an excited expression on her face and for a moment it's as if she's forgotten the love of her life vanished into thin air. "We're going to have to fight more soon. I'm not the best at it – I'm pretty good in the slums, but monsters are different. So... I was wondering... would you give me some pointers?"

He blinks. Then he stares. Then, he scrambles for words.

"Why?"

The girl doesn't seem to realize the strangeness of the situation. She just blinks, like he's a little slow, which today he just might be. "You're the best fighter on the ship! Well, maybe Mr. Vincent is really good too, but I don't use guns. I have a staff," She lifts it from where it was leaning on the wall beside her. "And that's kinda like a sword I guess. More than a gun."

Sephiroth can barely keep the frown from his face. "They are not the same at all."

Smiling, the girl laughs again. "Well, then, you'll have to teach me the difference!"

He can't help it. He feels cornered, and more than that, he doesn't actually feel too bothered to be cornered. Something about her is comforting, better than being alone. So he stands, and so does she, and they walk together to find a place to train.

He's in the dark. Lost in the dark, fading and drifting. Everything - hurts. That's why he... went away. away from the hurt. But it finds him in the dark, pinpricks and scorches, words and voices...

What use was she once I had my prey? Ku ku ku... the woman is long gone.

He screams. And keeps screaming, in agony, and he shatters in the dark.

It takes Zack a few days to break out.

It might've taken longer, if his guards hadn't underestimated him so badly. The scientists and the soldiers that worked with them apparently underestimated the SOLDIERS they had created. They thought him a dunce, and Zack had played along. He took great pleasure in knocking them flat once they'd outlived their uses.

"Pft," Gasping for breath through the pain, he manages a smile. "Teach you about... books and covers..." He's damn tired. He might've surrendered upon coming across Hojo taking Cloud and his mother, to keep them safe, but that meant nothing to the men under Hojo. Since the good doctor had no interest in Zack, they were free to do what they wanted.

He's fine though, really. Trying to straighten up, he winces a little. He'll be fine. He just has to find Ms. Strife and Cloud, and get them outta here.

"..."

"Cloud? Hey, Cloudy!"

"..."

"You in there? Come on we gotta go!"

He blinks. The world is dark - darker than he is used to. Quickly his eyesight recovers and returns to its typical strength, and everything becomes visible in the shadows.

"Hey,"

He turns, facing the speaker. It's a young brunette, in a SOLDIER's uniform. Automatically he is suspicious, eyes narrowing, sitting up and shifting away. It hurts - grimacing, he glances down, and realizes his predicament.

Panic does not hit him - he calms himself, before forcibly removing the IVs. "Hey, wait!" The man tries to stop him. With one hand, he grabs the SOLDIER by the collar, and shoves him across the floor. "Holy - Cloud! What's up?"

Snarling almost, the blonde finishes removing the devices on him, ignoring the acid trying to crawl up his throat. He forces his limbs to stop shaking, and stands, immediately examining his surroundings.

"Cloud..." The brunette is still speaking to him. "Come on, we've gotta go. They still have your mom, we need to -"

Narrowing his eyes, he interrupts. "Who are you?"

"Who -?" He blinks. "Cloud. Seriously. What did they do to you?"

Another snarl rises to his lips. "It is not your concern."

The frown worsens. "You don't sound like yourself."

"I don't know you."

"Look, just, - we have to go. Your mom -"

"Is dead." Has been for a long time. His father as well. He's alone in this world - that's how it's always been.

But the brunette looks devastated, heart torn, at the declaration. "Oh, Cloud..."

"How do you know my name?" He narrows his gaze further, examining the man, taking in the facts. Clearly a SOLDIER, recently incarcerated, another escapee most likely... injured as well, though healing rapidly, as SOLDIERS tend to do.

"Okay we'll chat later. We really need to get out of here. I'm Zack, okay? Just... come with me?"

The one called Zack is imploring, concerned, and seems to be another prisoner of the lab. For that reason only, Cloud choses to trust him. For now. He does need to escape, and they are wasting time.

Nostrils flaring, he glances to the door, and saunters out. "Come." The SOLDIER blinks, confused.

"Wha - the exit's this way."

"No, it's not."

He can smell the wind, hear the birds outside... "This way." He insists quietly, not waiting to see if the man follows. It's not his problem.

He strides through the lab uncaring, until they come to their first obstacle - alarms flashing, soldiers running towards them. He simply smirks. It is nothing to slip through their ranks and render them senseless, taking the gun from one of them, and making short work of the rest.

"Holy shit." Zack, apparently, is still following him. "I never knew you were such a good marksman."

Cloud makes no comment - they are strangers, so it is no concern of his what this man does and does not know. He's unsure why the man is convinced they know one another, but then, being in... Hojo's care has led many to strange coping methods before. He should know. No one has been under the man's knife more.

Grimacing, Cloud grips his left arm tightly.

"Come," He mutters, before continuing on.

Within the hour, they've escaped, making their run for it through the countryside. Cloud's not entirely sure where they are, but he has some idea. The western continent, north of the Nibel Mountain range. Dragon country. He's not too concerned - in fact, the terrain and the friendliness of the wildlife will make chasing after them harder. Cloud smiles.

"That's a little disturbing."

The smile vanishes. Cloud glances up through half lidded eyes at his tag along, frowning mildly. The SOLDIER has clearly healed, and appears to be fine, sitting across from Cloud at the fire.

"So, how're you feeling now? Brain juices flowing better?"

The frown becomes a scowl. This, again. The man will not shut up. "I'm afraid I'm no more knowledgable of you now than before."

That prompts a sigh. "Well... what do you know?"

"I'm not one to share much with others - even those I do know."

"Humor me." The man looks truly concerned, less carefree than earlier. Cloud still loathes the idea of giving him anything but...

(he can be trusted he can I promise)

... but there seems to be no risk to it. He's not exactly in a position to harm Cloud in any way.

"Hmm. Fine."

"Really?" Grinning, the man fidgets a bit, clearly thinking. "Okay... um... where are you from?"

"Nibelheim, I suppose." That was close enough.

"Alright, good! Um... your name?"

What was this? Frowning, he says, "Cloud Strife."

"Good, good! Trade or occupation?"

The frown deepens, eyes darkening. "... I have none."

"Come on, give me something."

Cloud turns away. "Cease meddling."

"Ugh, fine. Um... family?"

His eyes flash. "I have none."

"Friends?" He says nothing - that's answer enough. "Anyone?"

His eyes lower, finally. "No one."

"That's not true." Zack's gaze is soft, pitying, and it turns his stomach. "I mean... you have Vincent, don't you?"

Pain - pain, agony, oh his head (why why does this have to have happened WHY )

"Cloud? Cloud, are you - CLOUD!"

(it's your fault, you know.)

( your nothing like him . )

The next morning, Cloud wakes first. He frowns at Zack, though he's also irritated at himself. Someone should have stayed up to keep watch. He doesn't remember going to sleep... clearly, Zack's questioning had eventually annoyed him enough that he lulled off. Cloud won't allow it to happen again.

He nudges the boy, who wakes with SOLDIER like reflexes. Cloud expected it, and is fast enough to be halfway across the field before he can be touched.

"Wha - who's there?"

"We need to move." Cloud says firmly. "We cannot linger."

Zack blinks, gaze clearly, before nodding. Something in his gaze makes Cloud uneasy, but he doesn't voice his concern. The boy's thoughts are not his worry.

They haven't any supplies to pack, so getting ready to leave is quick enough. Cloud knows they'll have to do something soon; though he may be impervious to such worries, Zack will need food and water soon. Even SOLDIERs had limits. That meant finding civilization, which meant risking Shinra.

These worries continued to roll around in his mind for a bit, until Zack broke the silence.

"So..." The man hesitates, rubbing the back of his head. "Uh... how old are you?"

A pointed gaze is his answer. "What do you hope to gain by this?"

"Uh... just... trying to learn more about my new buddy, yeah?" Hardly. The man's a bad liar, but Cloud won't call him on it just yet. He turns his gaze ahead to the snow.

"Older than you'd believe."

Zack hums at that, arms crossed. He shivers a little. "Aren't you cold?"

"No." He says simply. He sees no reason for explanations.

For a while it's quiet again, and just when Cloud thinks the boy has given up, Zack speaks again. "So, why were you in there?"

Turning his head, Cloud cocks an eyebrow. "In the lab." Zack continues. "I got caught trying to defect, what about you?" Another lie, clearly, but Cloud bites his tongue. He will get to the root of the boy's strange behavoir eventually.

"I..." Suddenly his head is pounding. He thinks back to how he'd been recaptured, trying to... "I was in Midgar." Yes, that was it. He'd transformed in a fight and Shinra had surrounded him. How long ago was it? He wasn't sure how long Hojo had kept him this time, but clearly it hadn't been years, like before.

"Yeah?"

Clearly, Zack was looking for more - the blone frowns. "Are you always so inquisitive?"

"Only when I'm bored."

That manages to bring a small smile to Cloud's face, which makes Zack full on grin. "Hey! I made you laugh!"

"I heard nothing."

"That was a Cloud laugh. Low key."

He smirks again, shaking his head. For a while, the crack of snow beneath their boots is the only sound. "Hey... look, I know this is... not good stuff, but... it's really important. I wouldn't ask otherwise."

Sighing Cloud nods. "Ask your questions." They've nothing better to do than prod his old wounds, after all.

"How long were you captive?"

He tries to remember - it hurts. Gods, what had Hojo done to him this time? What more monstrosities could he commit... how much humanity did he have left? "I - don't know." He glances sideways. "And you?"

Zack answers quickly. "Four days." He says. "I was captured with a few others... but Hojo didn't really care about me. Locked me up, threw away the key, that sort of thing."

"Others..." He frowns. Was this the answer? Was Zack seeking the ones he'd been captured with, and mistakenly taken Cloud for one of his companions? Perhaps the boy was wrong to think Hojo had left him be... perhaps he was in denial? But, he did look to be in good condition for someone who had survived Hojo's loving care.

"Yeah." He says nothing more, and for the moment, Cloud chooses not to pry.

Knives, knives and needles, blood and curdling screams - a woman, crying, a man laughing, always laughing...

He awakens sharply, to another's hands on him and he keens, shivering and shoving, away, hands moving for his gun - it's not on his waist - the hands leave, a voice breaks through -

"Cloud, it's me, it's alright!" His gaze clears. the brunette - Zack. He kneels nearby, hands up in surrender. The gun Cloud took from the Shinra base is on the ground near him safely out of reach.

"You - you should not do that." Out of breath, the man struggles to pull himself together. "It is not safe."

"I was sure to disarm you!"

Cloud's gaze darkens. "I am never fully disarmed." Still shaken, he stands, and with a few quick leaps, takes to the trees. Dimly, he hears Zack's alarmed "Holy shit!", but he's too out of it to even smile. He's... distance, outside himself, huddling in the tree, trying to piece himself back together. He's safer up here. It's... better.

He goes back to sleep, and the next time he dreams, he wakes up alone. He wakes caught in a half vocalized scream, mouth gaping, eyes wet. Trembling hands rise to his face and he keens, trying to shake it off.

He... he... he failed her... he failed...

(failed who? which one are you ? ?)

Failed to save her... his darling... he pictures her in his mind and... and

(he can't see her - just a blurry memory [image] in the distance, a voice [ a story ] he can't remember)

it hurts, to remember how far he's fallen.

"Cloud?"

Clutching himself, the blonde quiets, still shivering and crying, but quietly.

"Cloud... are you okay?"

No. No, of course not. He's not okay, never has been not since -

(did it happen to you didithappentoyou)

that day, that awful day when he

(she she she she she shesheshe)

died.

"What did they do to you?"

Cloud almost laughs - almost - at the sheer audacity.

"You aren't subtle, are you?"

"Subtle as a train, my boss says." The boy grins like he's proud. Cloud tries to remember himself at that age, and aches. Zack's look softens. "Do you... remember?" He continues. "It might help us figure out what's going on."

He knows Zack thinks something's "going on" - in that, clearly he thinks Cloud is one of his companions, whose simply forgotten him. Much more likely, Zack was one of Hojo's victims, and his friends were killed in the experiments. He is simply latching onto Cloud as a way of coping with the loss. It is with that understanding in mind that Cloud patiently, if not always happily, allows these conversations.

They are about a day's travel away from the nearest town, and once there, Cloud will find a way to set the boy up safely with a place to stay, and move on alone. Until then...

"I am - unsure." He begins. "This time, I mean."

"This time?" Zack blinks. "You were captured before?"

Ugh. He should not have been so foolish as to let that slip. This is a conversation he surely doesn't want to have. "Yes. For a long time." He says harshly, implying that that is the end of it.

"Well... do you have any idea?" Zack tries again. "Feel different? Look different?"

Cloud actually tries to think on it. While most of this is just enabling the boy's fantasy, he probably should have considered earlier what Hojo may have done. He lifts his arms, staring at himself as a mystery he will never quiet solve.

"My arm..." He manages. "It..." He doesn't really want to say, so he shifts gears. "Little feels changed. Physically, I am the same." But for the fact that for some reason, Hojo removed the device he'd placed on Cloud's arm all those years ago. Nothing else had changed. Was that it? He just wanted to retrieve that device?

"Huh." Zack seems put out, disappointed by the facts, but that's understandable. He's looking for proof that Cloud is really his deceased friend, and he won't find it. He feels bad for the boy, but he can't change reality.

If only he could...

"Then..." Zack starts again. "What did he do the first time?"

Cloud starts. Eyes lifting, he frowns. To answer or not? He... finds himself not wanting to disappoint the youth. So with a sigh, he says as little as he can. "I was human, once. Hojo made me something else."

"Not human?" Eyes bulging, Zack gawks. Cloud bristles under the attention.

"Yes. In some ways like a SOLDIER, but on an entirely different level."

"Did it - hurt?" Cloud just glares. "Yeah, guess that goes without saying. How did you survive it?"

Throat tight, he says, "I am a survivor. For all that I have failed, I have at least managed to survive."

"You're strong." Cloud nods in acknowledgement. This much is true - physically and mentally, he has survived, going past those boundaries where others would have snapped. "Huh."

Apparently, the man is done for the day, for he falls silent, thoughtful and quiet in the firelight.