Hi, so here is another story and it is an episode based story like the last few this time in the later series.

I do like the later series and this episode The Lost Sheep in particular however I really struggled with the character of Olivia when she came back from Arizona this episode in particular, as a parent I don't understand her actions, I mean she basically belittles Erin, bullies her out of marriage, all but spits on Ashley and gets John to cover for her. Erin in the later series is basically an afterthought, they never seem to know quiet what to do with her and they create man after man to throw at her and to be honest Ashley was the best-granted Paul was quite good (until they ruined him in the movies) but this is a fix it basically for Erin because she deserved to marry the man she loved and she deserved to marry him despite her mother throwing an almighty temper tantrum (to be kind). Seriously...Olivia did twenty plus years married to John and despite everything I thought it was always pretty clear how he viewed religion...

On that note this does mention atheism, war, PTSD and trauma-basically all the good stuff the series doesn't cover. If this is a hard line for you then maybe stop here. I do not wish to offend anyone but this is based off the episode and nothing more. Personal beliefs don't come into it.

If you've read my work then you know spelling and grammar are not my strongest so please keep that in mind.

This is not going to be word for word cannon either. This story should be about eleven chapters long.

I will try and update when I can but with work that might be a bit sporadic so apologies in the meantime.

I have also brought back the original John Boy. The first five series were the best and it is arguably down to Richard Thomas, Ellen Corby and Will Geer being just as involved as Micheal Learnerd and Ralph Waite.

The Same Coin

Chapter 3-You See Most Things In Terms Of Black And White

Olivia and John hash it out. Part One.

"I don't see how what Ashely is proposing is any different to the successful marriage that you and I have had for nearly thirty years"

"You believed in God. I knew that when I married you. I knew…I knew what made you turn your head away. I know it was the war, I know it was what you saw—"

"Olivia if you knew half of what I saw religion would never have ever been a thing between us ever." He said flatly. John saw her nip her lip between her teeth and he sighed. He had never really gone into much detail about the war. He remembered when John-Boy had asked him about it, when Jason had asked him to tell him and he had always maintained fast to the believe that if a man had been there and walked those fields and those trenches then quite frankly a man didn't have to talk about it especially with his sons.

His father had never spoken about his war and John liked to think he followed in his Pa's footsteps.

He could do with his Pa now.

"John do you honestly think this marriage is a good idea. It's so…rushed…"

"Half of the marriages are these days. Perks of being in a war. Nobody has the time to wait anymore."

"You would prefer Erin to wait" Olivia said quietly. John opened his mouth and then closed it. In truth she was right, he would prefer Erin to wait, he would have preferred her to wait for as long as possible. Mary Ellen had waited two months after Curt's declaration.

"Yes" he said quietly. "I would prefer Erin to wait. But Erin has one failed elopement under her belt and her second one will be successful. She clearly loves Ashely…I believe he loves her. Do I wish we'd get to know him more yes but I remember what it was to be a solider, to be young, to be in love and to be absolutely terrified that the dream was going to end by one stray bullet"

Olivia scoffed.

"John why can't she just wait?"

"Because she's too much like you" John said relieved slightly that they were getting back onto something that resembled a ground he was comfortable standing on.

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I don't like him, I wish I did but I don't, not even for Erin's sake. The choice he is making her—"

"It's a choice she is happy to make" John said into the words that he knew were coming next. "She's happy. I'd rather have my girls happy on the mountain or in the Baldwin House rather than unhappy in a church. I don't take marriage vows lightly Liv. I am a firm believer that you only say those words once—maybe twice if your widowed young. I don't consider divorce a disgrace but I consider it a personal sadness—either way I don't want that for Erin. She knows what she is doing, we have to remember that"

"Erin deserves better than this"

"Maybe…but she's made her choice"

"Well it's not the right one!"

"Says you"

"I am her mother"

"Which is all very well and good Liv when she was six now she is a grown woman of nearly twenty three and she's not gonna be told what to do with the threat of a spanking and going to bed without supper. She's a woman grown and she is going to marry this man and there is nothing I can do about it. I know that look in my daughter's eye. I know that she loves him, I know that he makes her happy. I never wanted anything else for my girls other than that—a good man who loves them. I don't care if he believes in the man on the moon, just as long as he loves my daughter."

Olivia looked at him and John realised with a swoop that it didn't make any difference. This was a tough one with two stubborn women neither of whom were going to compromise any time soon. He had seen it with his Ma and Mary Ellen over that damned quilting. He knew John-Boy held Mary Ellen's feet to the fire that time to get her to play nice. His eldest who had the way with words that John did not.

This he realised a little bit glumly that this was the price you paid for having strong minded daughters.

Typical.

"There's no joy to me for this wedding" Olivia said finally sitting back down at the table. "John…I know Erin thinks of me as the monster in this story. That she thinks of me as the person who is standing in the way of her future happiness. I saw it before when I let you tell her no when it came to Chad Marshall. I should have been the one who understood where she was coming from…and we didn't even try to compromise with her then. I thought that it was a good thing, that Erin would find a man who loved her…does Ashely love her? Yes I think he does. But he's not being fair to her, he's not…I know for you it's different, I know your relationship with God is tied to the trenches, to your brother, to all of it and I respect that John despite the fact that I don't agree. But I…I wish I could like the man, I wish I could accept his believes and let them go into the sunset. She's my baby too John, you think I don't want her happy? I want her to have a happy successful marriage. But since she told me, even with this…half baked compromise on the table I can't summon up any joy. I don't know how I am supposed to let my daughter get married with some clerk saying a short ten minute service that's washed down with a load of that recipe. It's not a wedding I can respect, it's not a marriage to me. There's no joy in it for me."

John tapped his nails on the table.

"I don't know what to tell you" he said carefully. "This is the thing in our marriage that we can't talk about. I don't want you to be uncomfortable, you know I would never wish that. But I also know Erin. I've watched Erin while you have been away, I have watched her grow up from girl to woman before my eyes. I know she's going to dig her heels in with this and I know this wedding is going to happen. If Ashely can offer up this compromise and she can live with it then I don't see what the problem is. They've been able to compromise about religion, at this point we should be throwing them a party just for that—God knows it's a trick you and I have never managed to do. Neither did my parents either. So that has to count for something"

"It's not right"

"So what's your alternative then? Cause Erin and yourself unimaginable hurt and suffering by not going to the wedding? Miss another one of your children's nuptials? Or bully, cajole, convince Erin to call it off? I don't think the latter will work and I know you Olivia and I know Erin. If you are not there when that girl, our girl, get's married the damage done to your relationship with her will be irreversible"

Olivia looked at him for a long moment and he could see the two sides of her warring, he could read his wife like a book and she could read him just as well. This was her conviction, her moral principles, the bedrock of what made her, her warring with her love for her daughter and for all the money in the world John would take that decision away from her but he couldn't. He couldn't and he didn't think that it was fair that he did so.

"I want to be there for Erin John, you think I don't want to be at that house helping her with her wedding dress and talking about the wedding night? You think I don't want to be talking about grandchildren and what she will do with her time and how long it will take for Ashely to come back and they can live their lives again? You think that I don't want that? I just…it's not a wedding to me…it's not a union sanctified by God—"

"Neither was ours but that didn't stop us"

"JOHN! You and I went to Church the next morning and got our marriage sanctified, we went and prayed together, I remember as it was a minor miracle I got you in that Church in the first place! Before the war you joined us for services from time to time, I remember when John-Boy was born you held him at the Christening! This is not the same, I knew that despite what happened in the war you believed in God! You've always believed in God, I find it comforting, I know that you believed when John-Boy was in the hospital, when I was sick, when Mary-Ellen was widowed, when John-Boy was wounded. I know it kept you going too! This is not the same and I can't help but feel this marriage is going to end before it's even begun and before you harp on about divorce John marriage is until death—"

"In the eyes of God"

"Yes"

"Good thing Ashely doesn't believe then doesn't it" he said tartly. "Good God Olivia you do know how to miss the point on this don't you, she's your child, that trumps God in my book and it always will. Be there don't be there that's your choice, I've never been one of those men who has taken pleasure in forcing woman to do what they don't want to do but if you choose not to be there I am taking the neutral approach, I love you, I always will but come hell or high water I will walk our daughter down the isle and I will not help you when you realise what a mistake this has been."

And there it was. It was the words that two happily married people should never been able to say to each other but here he was speaking them to Liv. John couldn't help it, he loved his daughter too much. He remembered when Erin had been born and this quiet red headed baby had been passed into his arms. Out of all of his children it had been Erin and John-Boy who had both been the quietest.

He wondered if that had been a thing for later life cause neither John-Boy and Erin had been uncomplicated children—that was evident in their choices of partner after all.

He bit his bottom lip as he stared at his wife and she stared at him. Uncompromising and unflinching until the very end and here they were on two sides of the same line.

Or whatever fucking metaphor it was. John Boy would have been able to put this into words.

And suddenly he missed his youngest son more than the power of them.

"John…I am not heartless. I want to be there when Erin get's married. I want to be there more than I want to breathe. I love that girl more than my own life and I…I just…this is a mistake and I don't know why we are letting her make it."

"Because we can't stop her from making it"

"You could try"

"Olivia, I have never turned one of my children away from my door and I am not going to start now, I am certainly not going to start over something as trivial to me as religion. I understand and I appreciate that It is to you but to me all that matters is that he loves Erin and I believe that he does. That's my line in the sand."

She looked at him and he could see the desperation on her face and he wanted with all the will in the world to wrap his arms around her and pretend that it was all going to be okay but it wasn't. Olivia couldn't comprehend a world where church and God wasn't at the forefront of the home life. John could quite easily. This was why he had never gotten involved in any discussions over the damn thing, this was why he had said that his children should and would make their own decisions over baptism. Jim Bob had still not done it. Elizabeth had still not done it and John certainly didn't see his youngest son doing it anytime soon. Cindy had never been baptised and she had never wanted it, Ben had left Cindy to make decisions over Virginia and as far as John knew that was not on the table either. He couldn't even remember if he had ever seen Cindy in a church.

"I don't think I can do it" was all she said quietly. "I don't think I can do it John. I am going to have to go to Church and pray for a miracle. I don't know what kind of miracle or what I am praying for but I am going to have to pray because one way I feel that I am letting down a cornerstone of my life and on the other hand I am denying my daughter. I am not…I don't intend to be heartless. I just…this is not as easy for me as it is for you and I wish right now more than anything else in the world that, that boy had never come here. I wish he would go away, I wish the war would take him away and he would never come back and I know what I am wishing for there as well…and so I have to reconcile that. I have to reconcile that with everything else and I so I have to go to Church. Rose will have to take care of lunch and maybe supper. I don't know when I will be back"

John nodded.

"Alright Liv"

She nodded and as she passed him her hand rested once on his shoulder. He gripped her hand back just as tight and for a second they were locked in together, John and Olivia against the world.

And then she was gone.

John listened to the door close and he leaned back on his chair and wondered if it was too early to break into the secret stash of recipe he knew that Ben had in his footlocker.

"All my life" he said to the ceiling. "I swear to the Almighty I have never met a more stubborn woman"

The Almighty did not answer him.

John thought he was personally laughing up a storm.

He sighed.

Weddings…whoever said they brought everyone together was speaking crap.

And with that he finished his coffee in solid silence.

So yeah this was a hard one to get about two different balanced point of view so I hope it came off okay.

Next Chapter-Ashely Longworth JR turns up to speak to John. Jason calls John-Boy. It's the war you see. It's always the war.