Chapter 3

Stella walked into the kitchen after dropping Haley off at school. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. She was looking at apartments on her iPad when Gabby walked into the kitchen. "What are you doing?" Gabby asked as she opened the fridge.

Stella looked up, giving her a confused look. "I'm looking at apartments for rent; why aren't you on shift?"

Gabby grabbed the orange juice and closed the fridge. "Because I feel like I was hit by a bus."

"Yeah, you do look a little rough." Stella teased.

"Thanks," she said, as she poured herself some juice. "All this morning sickness is going to be the death of me."

Stella gave her a sad smile. "I know, I hated it, but try some vitamin B6 and ginger tea; it helped wonderfully when I was pregnant with Haley."

"I will definitely try it." She tells her as she sits down at the table too. " Why are you looking for apartments?"

"Because we can't live here forever."

"Why not? Matt and I don't mind; we love having you and Haley here."

"You guys are getting ready to bring a baby into the world; you need your own space and some alone time."

"You can always move in with Kelly." She said it in a teasing tone.

Stella looked down at the iPad. Gabby eyed her, curious as to why she didn't have a comeback. "Something happened..." Stella continued to look at the iPad. "Something big happened. Stella... Come on... What happened, you can tell me. please... Please..."

"We kissed," she said louder than she intended.

Gabby's mouth dropped, and her eyes widened. "Tell me everything."

"There is nothing to tell."

"Like hell, there isn't, who initiated the kiss, was it Kelly? Was it you? Was it both of you? Did you see it coming? Was it spontaneous? how was? Did you feel anything? How long did it last? ... Ho...

"Gabby, stop." Stella yelled, " Stella yelled, "Damn, it was just a kiss."

"A kiss is never just a kiss. Come on, I need details."

Stella took a sip of her coffee, "Fine. It happened last night when I went to pick Haley up from Kelly's; he answered the door shirtless."

Gabby smiled, noticing the redness on her friend's face. "And you got hot and had to kiss him."

"No, not exactly. I liked what I saw though."

"I bet so." Gabby joked.

Stella blushed, "Anyway, he said he had taken his shirt off because he was covered in glitter, and the girls were outside with his mom. I noticed some glitter in his hair, so I brushed it off, and then I saw some on his face, so I blew it off...

Gabby's eyes widened. "Then you kissed him."

"No, he said I was incredibly beautiful." She blushed as Gabby smiled. "And I said whatever and looked down at the floor; he said I was beautiful again, and I touched his arm and I felt something—something I haven't felt in a long time. " She paused. "And what he did next was like something from the movies. "

"What did he do?"

"He whispered my name; he said I'm going to kiss you, and if you don't want me to, you're going to have to stop me... He started counting one, two, and then whispered ten, and he kissed me."

Gabby watched her face as she relived the kiss. "How was the kiss? Did you feel anything?"

Stella looked at her for a second. "He slowly backed me up against the wall, and I grabbed onto him, pulling him closer. His lips were warm and soft. I felt A burst of adrenaline run through me; my heart was racing. I didn't want it to end."

Gabby smiled. "So, you like him?"

"I do, I do... I kind of want to kiss him again."

"We could go by the firehouse, so you could jump him."

"I said I wanted to kiss him, not have sex with him. "

" Bullshit!" Gabby exclaimed. "Girl, you haven't had sex in years. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it since you met Kelly.

Stella sighed dramatically. "Okay, the thought has crossed my mind."

"I knew it," Gabby said happily. "So, what happened after the kiss?"

"We didn't talk about it."

" Why?"

"Well, Madison came running into the room yelling Daddy, and we jumped apart before they saw."

"You've got to talk about it," Gabby said, as the doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" she asked as she got up to answer the door. "Stella, it's for you."

Stella arched her eyebrow; she doesn't know anyone in Chicago yet besides Gabby, Casey, and Kelly. So, who would be here to see her? She walked to the door smiling big, thinking about Kelly and that amazing kiss last night.

"Hey, Stella," the brown-haired woman said from the doorway.

Stella froze at the sound of her voice. "What are you doing here?" she asked in a cold, angry tone.

"To see you, I missed you."

Gabby looked at Stella, and she could tell she was upset. Whoever this woman was, she killed Stella's happy mood.

"I'm Jessica," she said, as she extended her hand out to Gabby.

"I'm Gabby." She said as she shook her hand.

"I'm Stella's little sister."

Gabby's eyes widened. "Sister?" She repeatedly looked at Stella, who was looking down at the floor.

"I take it you didn't know she had a sister, huh?"

"How did you find me?" Stella asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Jessica rolled her eyes. "I asked your old firehouse men, and they said your transfer was to Chicago."

Damn, Stella thought "How did you find out where I was staying?"

"I flirted with your old landlord to find out where your mail was being forwarded to."

Stella rubbed her head. "Jess, why are you here?"

"Because I miss my sister and my niece, where is Haley?"

"In school."

"I can't wait to see her."

"You're not welcome here."

"Stella, it's been six months since we talked. I know you heard I was moving back to Springfield; I took it that's why you moved to Chicago because you didn't want to see me."

"Yet here you are," Stella said sarcastically

Jessica shakes her head. "Can I see my niece?"

Stella closed her eyes; she knew she was right. Haley loves her aunt Jessica. "She doesn't get home till after three."

"Ok, I'll come back."

"Bye," Stella said coldly. Then I walked upstairs. A few seconds later, they heard her bedroom door slam.

Gabby was left there, not knowing what to say. "Well, I guess that's my cue to go. It was nice meeting you, Gabby. "

"You too."

"Don't believe what she says about me; I'm not that bad of a person," Jessica said, before walking out the door.

Gabby knocks on Stella's bedroom door. "Stella, are you okay?"

"It's open."

Gabby slowly walked in. "Hey," Stella was laying down on the bed.

"Yes, I have a sister and two nephews; I'm surprised she didn't bring them with her. We don't get along. Things that have happened that are unforgivable."

Gabby nods. "I understand. I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, I'm not ready yet; I'm still processing everything."

" Okay, "

"Gabby, could you do me a huge favor?" Stella asked as she sat up.

"Anything"

"Could you pick Haley and Madison up from school today? I promised Kelly I would pick up Madison and she could stay over tonight since he's on shift."

"Yeah," Gabby tells her. "Why though?"

Stella looked up at the ceiling. "I can't see my sister again, not right now. And I know she's going to be back to see Haley, and I know Haley wants to see her. But I can't be here."

Gabby sat down beside her. "Where are you going to go?"

Stella shrugs: "I don't know, drive around, and you can text me when she leaves."

Gabby nods "You can swing by the firehouse and make out with Kelly, and he can distract you for a bit," she teased.

Stella smiled at the mention of Kelly's name. "Sounds good to me."

It was a little bit after four when Stella pulled up to the firehouse. She walked around outside getting the feel of the place; her first shift was around the corner, and she hadn't really been to the house but once with Gabby.

" Hey! What are you doing here?" Casey asked as he noticed her standing outside.

"I just thought I'd get a feel of the place."

"Less than a week now, and you'll be part of my crew. Come on in, and I'll introduce you to Truck 81. Severide is out on a call" he tells her as he notices she keeps looking around. "He should be back soon."

Stella blushed, knowing Casey had caught on to the real reason she was there. "That obvious, huh?"

"Just to me." He laughed. "Come on, you are going to love these guys."

Stella followed Casey into the firehouse. "Attention, truck 81! This is our new truck member who will be joining our team soon. Stella Kidd."

"How's it going, Kidd?" Otis said as he shook her hand.

"It's going." She tells him

"Welcome kid, I'm Mouch."

" Thanks,"

"This is Lieutenant Hermann Engine 51," Casey tells her, as an older man approaches her.

"So, your Kidd," Herrmann said with a smile, and Casey elbowed him.

" Yeah." She said as she gave them both a confused look. " What... She started but was cut off by

"Hey Cruz, meet Stella Kidd," Herrmann said, seeing Cruz walk into the room.

Cruz's eyes widened. "Stella Kidd in the flesh." He said he was walking over to her. "Joe Cruz Squad 3, nice to meet you; you certainly caught our lieutenant's eye."

Herrmann and Cruz just smiled at her, "Nice to meet you too." She tells them, curious as to why they are looking at her like that.

"We've heard a lot about you," Herrmann said.

She raised her eyebrows. "You have?"

" Severide...

"Capp and Tony, this is our new member, Stella Kidd," Casey said, cutting Cruz off.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Tony."

"So, you're the woman Severide can't stop talking about?" Capp said, laughing. "I'm Capp, by the way."

Stella blushed. "I guess so; it's nice to meet both of you." She said as she looked at Casey, who just shrugged at her.

" Severide is probably in his office; I'll show you where it is," Casey tells her.

Stella ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay," she said, still curious about what they were talking about. "What was all that about?" She asked Casey as they walked to Kelly's office.

"Ask Severide." He tells her with a wink.

She bites her lip as Casey knocks on a door. "Are you very busy?"

"Just starting paperwork, why?" he said as he continued to write.

"You got a visitor."

"Well, I got to do this first... He began when he looked over and noticed Stella standing behind Casey. "Stella... Hey... "

"I'll give you guys some privacy," Casey said as he stepped away.

"Hey," Stella said, as she looked around his office. "This is nice." She smiled at the picture of Madison on his desk.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he looked up at her. He wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. " Wait is Madison ok."

"Yes, she's with Gabby." She reassured him. "I figured I would come to check out the firehouse since my first shift is coming up soon, and..." She trails off.

"And what?" he asked, watching as she bit her lip. "Stella... She cut him off with her lips. He was surprised by her actions, but he didn't stop her. Hell, her lips have been all he's been thinking about since last night. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.

"Sorry, I've been wanting to do that all day," she admitted to him.

"Me too." He tells her as he kisses her again.

Stella pulls back. "So, you've been talking about me?" She smirked. as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Kelly closed his eyes and said, "Damn those guys have big mouths."

She laughed, "I totally understand; I've been talking to Gabby about you all morning."

" Really? About what?"

"How much I liked kissing you."

"That's good to know since I like kissing you too." She smiled at him, and then her smile faded as she thought about Grant and Jessica and what she'd been through. "What's on your mind?" He noted her change of mood and asked.

"Just thinking... I. " She begins, but the bells go off before she can continue.

Kelly groaned. "Look, I've got to go but stay here." He tells her as he kisses her cheek before running out the door.

Stella lay in bed staring at the ceiling. She sighed as she looked at the clock. It was nine in the morning, but she couldn't get motivated to move; she wanted to stay in her room and pretend the outside world didn't exist. Unfortunately, she can't do that; she had been in her room since she came home last night around six, and Jessica was still there when she got home. Dancing around the room with Haley, Haley was so happy to have her aunt Jessica there. Stella couldn't see Jessica, so she told Haley she wasn't feeling well and went upstairs.

Gabby knew there was a reason why Stella and Jessica didn't get along, but she didn't want to force Stella to talk about it. She kept the girls busy until bedtime.

Stella sighed, knowing she had to make herself get out of bed. Haley didn't have school today it was a teacher's work day. She sat up as her bedroom door opened,

"Morning Mama," Haley said, as she gave her mom a small smile. The little black-haired girl might be just six years old, but she knew her mama was sad about something.

"Morning, baby girl," Stella said, as Haley ran to hug her. Stella felt bad that she had let Jessica's arrival shake her up so much that she couldn't be the fun, sweet, happy mom that she always thought she was.

"Mama, can we go to the park today?" Haley asked, biting her bottom lip,

Stella sighed, "Honey, mama's still not feeling good; I'm sorry; I promise, I'll make it up to you," she said, feeling awful. She hates disappointing her daughter.

Haley just nodded her head. "Okay," she said sadly, "Aunt Jessica fixed breakfast."

Stella sighed. "Aunt Jessica is here?"

"Yep, she said she was going to come back this morning and fix me her special strawberry pancakes."

Stella smiled at her. "Go down and eat with them; I'll be down in a few."

"Okay," Madison said, kissing her cheek, then running out of the room.

Stella laid back down and said, "Seriously, God, what does she want from me?" Stella said, A little too loud.

"I want my sister back; I miss our relationship.' Jessica was standing by Stella's door and heard what she said,

Stella rolled her eyes and said, "I don't think we can, not now; maybe one day, I don't know."

"I'm sorry; I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to tell you I did, but I got scared because I didn't want to lose you." Stella didn't reply, so Jessica continued, "It's been six months; I thought by now you would have forgiven me. Why can't you forgive me?" Jesse cried

Stella sat up, locking eyes with her. "Forgive you? Seriously? Jessica, I can't forgive you; it's too soon, and I don't know when or if I will ever be able to let this go. You hurt me more than anyone has. You were always there for me through the good, the bad, and the really bad; I turned to you for everything; you meant the world to be Jess, and I didn't mean anything to you, because if I had, you would have been honest with me; hell, you would have never done what you did," Stella cried.

"I need you back in my life; I never meant to hurt you; I never meant for anything to happen. It was a big mistake." Jessica cried harder.

"Mistake, mistake?" Stella said with disbelief in her voice, "I have spent the last six months trying to process this, trying to let it go, and figuring out how to tell Haley...

"Mama, Madison, and Kelly are here," Haley yelled up the stairs, interrupting their conversation.

Stella sighed loudly. Look," she said, as she looked at Jessica, "my friends don't know about anything that has happened between us, and I would like to keep it that way. Okay"

"Fine," she said, "I'm not going anywhere till we talk, I mean it, "she said, then left the room.

Stella shook her head, she wiped her eyes, she was a mess, but she doesn't care; she heads downstairs, hoping that Gabby or Kelly won't notice she's been crying. "Hey," she said, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Hey!" Gabby said, as she looked at her, she wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she already knew the answer.

Kelly eyed her; her hair was in a ponytail, she had no make-up on, she was wearing jogging pants and a black tank top, and her eyes were red like she had cried or hadn't slept in days. But she still looked beautiful to him. "Hey, Stella."

She smiled slightly, but not a big smile or the ones Kelly was getting used to; "hey, what brings you guys by?" she asked, as she looked away from him.

"Casey and I were going to take the girls to the park if that's ok?" Gabby said, "So Kelly was dropping Madison off."

"Oh yeah, that's fine, thank you." She tells Gabby with a thankful smile.

"This is my aunt, Jessica," Haley said, as she pulled Jessica over towards everyone. "Aunt Jessica, this is my best friend Madison, and her daddy Kelly."

Kelly looked at Stella, who wouldn't look at him. She never told him she had a sister.

Jessica shook Kelly's hand and smiled at Madison. "Nice to meet you," she said as she checked Kelly out. "Are you married?"

Stella rolled her eyes. "Haley, go get your shoes on." Stella said as she looked at her daughter, "I'm going to go lay down."

"Stella, are you okay?" Gabby asked in a concerned voice.

Stella gave her a small smile; she hated keeping things from Gabby. "Yeah, just not feeling good," she replied. "Thank you both for taking care of Haley for me while I'm under the weather." She tells Gabby and Casey.

"Anytime," Casey tells her.

Gabby kisses her cheek, "We're here for you." She whispered in her ear.

"I know." She tells her that, as she started to walk up the stairs, she stopped at the sound of Jessica's voice.

"Can I go with you, if that's okay?" Jessica asked. "Give me time to spend with my niece."

"Yeah, sure," Casey said.

"Are you coming handsome?" Jessica asks Kelly.

"Yeah..." Kelly replied, sounding a little too happy in Stella's ears. Stella closed her eyes, and as a few tears fell, she walked up to her room, closed the door, and she cried herself to sleep.

Gabby pushed Madison and Haley on the swings. "Aunt Gabby," Haley said, as she jumped off the swing.

"Yes, baby,"

"You and Mom are best friends, right?" Haley asked as she stared at Gabby.

"Yes, your mom is my best friend; why?" Gabby asked as she stopped pushing Madison.

"So, she tells you everything, like a friend would tell a friend?"

"Yeah, I think she tells me everything," she lied because she knew Stella wasn't being honest with her about Jessica. "I tell her everything too; why are you asking?"

"My mama is sad, like really sad, but I don't know why; I ask her why, and she tells me she's fine, but she's not fine." Haley said sadly, "She doesn't even come out of her room anymore. I think she's not happy because Aunt Jessica is there, but Aunt Jessica said that Mom is just not feeling good right now."

Haley felt bad for her. "Aunt Jessica is probably right; your mom just needs rest, lots of rest. She will be back to her normal, happy self soon. I promise." Gabby said, trying to ease her mind.

"I hope so, "Haley said, as she spotted the ice cream man. "Hey, can we get some ice cream?"

"Of course," Gabby tells her this as she notices Casey looking annoyed. Jessica was flirting with him, and he couldn't stand it. "Let's go get Uncle Casey; I know he wants ice cream."

"So is Kelly single?" Jessica asked as she walked up behind them,

Gabby looked back at her. "Why?" she said in a low voice.

"Why?" Jessica raised her eyebrows and said, "He's cute; I'd like to get to know him better, and since I'm moving here for good, he is someone I would consider a good father type for my sons." She said happily, "He makes cute kids, and I make cute kids, so just think about the adorable baby we would make together." She smirked at Gabby before walking away.

Gabby just stood there, watching as Jessica talked to Haley and Casey about what ice cream they wanted. "Aunt Gabby, what did that girl mean about my dad and her making a baby?"

"She just meant that your dad has a cute daughter; she thinks you're pretty, sweetheart, that's it," Gabby told her, hoping she would believe her. Madison gives her a confused look. "You want some ice cream."

"No, I want to go back to the swings," Madison said as she walked away from Gabby.

A couple of hours later, Stella woke up feeling hungry, and as she walked into her kitchen, thinking about what she could eat, she stopped walking when she noticed Kelly sitting at the table, reading the paper. "Thought you went to the park?" she asked, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Kelly looks up from the paper. "No, I couldn't leave you here alone," he said, as he laid the paper down.

"Why?"

"Because you said you're not feeling good, so I figured someone should be here if you need anything." He stood and walked towards her. Stella watched as he stepped in front of her, touched her forehead, and kissed her forehead. "Well, you don't seem to be running a fever; that's good." He smiled at her.

No, she didn't have a fever, but her heartbeat increased as he kissed her forehead. "I'm fine, just a little tired. That's it," she said, as she stepped away from him.

"Are you hungry?" Kelly asked, "Gabby said you haven't been eating; she's worried about you."

Stella looked at him. "I know she is," she sighed again. "So, are you going to fix me something to eat?"

"Yeah, what would you like?"

"Whatever you want to fix me, I haven't eaten anything in forty-eight hours, more like pieces here and there."

"How about my famous grilled cheese? Madison says I make the best in the world." He smirks.

"The best, hmm, I'll be the judge of that." She laughed. She sat down at the table and watched him cook. They didn't talk till he brought her sandwiches to her. "So, Jessica seems nice."

Stella rolled her eyes. "She has her moments," she said, as she stared at the sandwiches, he placed in front of her.

"Are you going to eat it or just stare at it?" he asked, as he sat beside her.

She picked it up and took a bite. "MMM, it's good," she said, as she put it back on the plate. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about having a sister. It's complicated, Kelly."

"It's fine, whenever you're ready to talk about it. I'll be here.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, I was kind of hurt last night," he admitted.

Stella looked at him confusedly. "What happened last night?" she asked, as she turned so they were face to face.

Kelly sighed, "Well when I got back to the firehouse, you were gone. And I called you and texted you all night, but not one replied."

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to be alone."

Kelly nodded, "You know, I'm a good listener, so if you ever want to talk, I'll listen. Whatever you need, I'm here." he said, as he looked her in the eyes.

"I need a hug... Don't question me. Don't say anything... Just hug me," she asked softly.

He quickly pulled her to him, doing what she said to do, and he hugged her tightly. He didn't question her; he didn't say anything; he just hugged her. They stayed like that for a while. Kelly thought she had fallen asleep because she was so quiet. Then he heard, "There are no words to describe how I feel or what is going through my mind. The tears keep falling, my heart keeps aching, and I keep breaking inside."

Kelly pulled back and looked at her; she was crying, and he had no idea why. "Stella, please talk to me," he begged her. "Tell me what happened between you and Jessica?"

She sat straight up and said, "I was supposed to get my fairy tale ending, you know? and I wanted to be somebody's world. Somebody's Day and Night, A part of a love story that never has an ending I thought I had it too, but boy, life can sure throw some messed-up curve balls. Huh?"

"Yeah, it can," Kelly said, as he reached his free hand up and touched her cheek. "One of the hardest things in life is when your mind tells you to give up but your heart won't let you."

Stella nodded. "Are you still in love with Madison's mom?" she asked quietly; this was the first time she had the nerve to bring it up.

Kelly shrugged his shoulders, "I love her; I will probably always love her; she was my first love, and she gave me Madison; my little girl is my world," he paused, "but no, I'm not in love with her anymore." He lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes. "Are you still in love with Haley's dad?" he asked, knowing that her answer would affect him in two different ways: One if she says yes, he knows he's going to have to give her more space, which is hard because all he wants to do is be around her; two if she says no, he's pretty much on the verge of telling her he wants to help her heal her heart and she can help him heal his. Either way, he's scared of her answer.

Stella clamps her eyes shut and then opens them as a few more tears fall. "No, I haven't been in love with him for years, even before he died. I mean, I feel the same way you do: He was my first love, my first everything; he gave me the most amazing gift in the world; I will never regret having my daughter I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling, it's just... My heart hurts. I've been hurt by two of the most important people in my life. And I don't know how to let it go so I can move on. Cause I want to move on; I do; I want to be able to let everything go and be happy,"

Kelly just stares at her; inside he's happy that she doesn't love her ex anymore, but he's still concerned about what has her so broken and so scared to let go. " Let me help you."

She looks at him curiously and asks, "Help me how?"

"I want to help you heal. I want to fix your broken heart. We can help each other."

Stella's eyes widen. "I would like that, but how do we do it?"

"We have to be completely honest with each other; we have to tell each other everything about our past relationship," Kelly said as he watched her. "So, are you in or out?"

Stella took his hands into hers and said, "Kelly, I want to open up to you; I do. I want to trust you too." She tells him honestly.

Kelly smiled, as he took his hands and cupped her face. " Stella, you are not the only one here with trust issues, Baby we're on the same bridge. I just think it's time we burn our old bridges and build a new one together. What do you say to that?"