Nabiki New Horizons

by Digital Dragon Productions

Nabiki knew it was no secret that she was a 'Material Girl' whose relationships were as deep as her date's wallets. What dark shadowy ninja past of her parents have to do with this American transfer student and why does this he make her heart do flip-flops? She's just going out with him to wring him dry, just like the others. Nothing more. Right?

2. Wedding Bell Blues

As Jeff carried Nabiki down the stairs of Furinkan Senior High School, a growing crowd of celebrating students followed,
their happy voices echoing down the long hallways. Even some of the teachers chanced to emerge from their office and stare at the happy couple as they passed by. Despite their accustomed position of authority, none moved to quell the celebration.

"I'll bet you never imagined you would leave Furinkan like this," Jeff said to Nabiki over the crowd noise.
Nabiki just smiled and snuggled a bit more. That alone told him all he needed. This exit exceeded everything she'd ever hoped for. Just holding her did as much for him.

At the bottom of the stairs, one of Jeff's earlier antagonists lay slumped against the wall, his eyes wide and glazed while still clutching his bokkan in front of him with both hands. Two of Jeff's throwing stars adorned the weapon's smooth surface.

Ranma Saotome paused next to him and examined the throwing stars with keen interest. "You're very lucky, you know," he said with mock seriousness. "I hear Ninjas usually aim for the head."
The student's eyes rolled back up into his head as he passed out."Hmmm. No sense of humor." Ranma pulled the stars from the unconscious student's weapon. Turning each over and back in his hand, he looked for identifying marks. Finding none, he concluded these were not from a ninja clan. Their construction was all wrong for something made by Japanese. Not to suggest they were crude by any standards, their craftsmanship reflected a thorough knowledge of shuriken construction. For someone to be able to build and then use such devices with the skill necessary to strike a thin bokkan suggested there was more to Jeff Lawrence than anyone knew.
Suspiciously, he jiggled the stars in his hand while watching Jeff and Nabiki lead the crowd out of Furinkan High. Having seen him in action at the Tendo Dojo, he didn't think Jeff capable of much when it came to fighting. What he accomplished today against admittedly second-rate opponents was so overwhelming that his suspicions were justifiably raised. There was something about Jeffrey that warranted further investigation. Slipping the stars into his shirt pocket, Ranma joined the trailing crowd.

With Nabiki still in his arms, Jeff made his way to the main gate where the Ambassador's limousine waited, its passenger door open and the driver standing by.
"Jeff-chan, I hope you didn't spend a lot of money to rent this car," Nabiki scolded when she saw the vehicle. "Things are going to be tight enough until you can start a job."
His answer was interrupted by two Marine Corps humvees pulling up along side the limo, each containing a pair of Marines dressed in full camouflage.

"Yo, bro," called one of the Marines as he stepped out of the vehicle. It was one of Jeff's Marine friends from the embassy.

"What are you doing here?" Jeff growled indignantly. "I thought I told you I could handle this on my own."

"We're not here to help with the extraction," another Marine said leaning on the hood of his vehicle. "We figured you could handle that part okay. We're just here to see you don't get lost. After all, we're duty bound to protect our country's rich and influential."

Nabiki's English vocabulary was understandably limited. But the words: 'rich' and 'influential', she understood well. Eyeing Jeff suspiciously, she tried to understand how they related to her husband-to-be.

"Haven't you told her yet?" the first Marine asked in mock surprise. "She really deserves to know."

"Jeffrey, I don't fully understand what this military person is saying, but I've got a feeling there is something you should be telling me," she said in Japanese with a raised eyebrow.
Jeff shot the Marines an expression guaranteed to convey his exasperation at their obvious hint about his little 'secret'. It must have worked as both made faces and ducked back into their vehicle.

"Nabiki, dear, I think you'll need to sit down for this," he said, setting her on the back seat of the limousine. "I've got something to tell you."
She lightly scooted over while Jeff slid in behind her and the driver closed the door.

Akane and Ranma, after finally working their way to the front of the crowd, exchanged confused looks.

"What's this doing here?" Ranma asked out loud, indicating the black limo.

"How should I know?" Akane replied, cupping her hands and trying to peer through the car's deeply tinted glass.

"Move away from the car, please," one of the Marine guards ordered in Japanese, indicating with his hand the direction he wanted her to move.

"But my sister is in this car," Akane answered pointing to the back seat of the limo.

"Are you one of the Tendo girls?"
Akane nodded and glanced again at the limousine. "Well, okay," he said, waving her over. "We'll drive you home with the lucky couple." Akane scurried to the Marine vehicle with Ranma close behind. They both skidded to a halt when the Marine held up a hand to stop them.

"What's up with the Chinese guy?" he asked, noticing Ranma's unusual attire.

"Huh?" Akane glanced back at Ranma. "Oh, him."

"Is he a Tendo, too?"

"Well, not really. He just lives with us."

The Marine looked Ranma up and down. "You want us to give him a ride too?"

Akane sighed. "I suppose so." The Marine shrugged and opened the humvee's rear passenger door for Akane. Blushing lightly at such an uncommon gesture of Western manners, especially since it was coming from a handsome man in uniform, she dropped into the rough bucket seat.
When Ranma tried to follow, the Marine stopped him.

"Other side, junior," he said, jerking a thumb towards the opposite door.
Nodding he understood, Ranma bounded around the vehicle where another Marine waited by the open door. Ranma bowed a couple of times, hoping the gesture would accurately convey his appreciation before flopping into the other back seat and frowning at Akane.

"I don't like military men," he declared.

"Why? I think they act like gentlemen. Unlike someone I could mention," she said with narrowed eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma replied, his voice rising towards the kind of irritation that usually sparked a fight between them.

"It means you could try acting more like a gentleman every once in awhile." Akane's growl proved she was ready for such a fight.

"What would you know about 'gentlemen', ya tomboy?"

"I know they're more 'men' and less 'boy'," she yelled back.

"Are you calling me a 'boy'?" Ranma was practically shouting now.

"HEY! No fighting in the Humvee!" a Marine yelled from the front seat. He frowned at both before turning to his friend.

"Reminds me of the last time I took the Misses and our two kids to Hakone. The little yard apes fought all the way down and back."

The other Marine chuckled as he started the engine. "Kids will be kids."
Still casting irritated looks Ranma's way, Akane settled into her seat, thankful for the high transmission hump between them.

Meanwhile, in the limo's back seat, Jeff was explaining fiscal reality to Nabiki. He was having a little trouble with the details.

"What do you mean YOU'RE NOT POOR?" she demanded. The expression on her face made it clear she wasn't taking this the way he expected.

Trying to remain calm and rational, he drew a deep breath. "There is a reason I couldn't tell you."

"You let me make a fool of myself in front of everybody, thinking you were some yen-less gaijin, when you've actually got money?" Her voice was taking on an edge that gave 'predatory' a new meaning.

Abandoning calm and rational, he switched to a more philosophical approach. "Well, wealth is so much a state of mind. Money is kinda complicated."

"How much are you worth?" she asked anxiously.

"It's tied up in a lot of -"

"How much, Jeffrey?" she interrupted.

"It's not all in liquid assets -"

With a growl of frustration, she grabbed Jeff's coat and yanked him towards her. Nose-to-nose, she growled through clenched teeth: "HOW MUCH?"

Jeff blinked. "Dear, you're wrinkling my sport coat."

"There's gonna be blood on your sport coat if you don't tell me how much."
Certain she wasn't kidding, he reached into his pants pocket and produced the accounting overview he had received earlier that morning. Holding it up, she snatched it from his fingers so fast he could feel the paper singe.

"Now this is just a rough estimate," he noted while adjusting his abused coat.
Nabiki unfolded the paper and scowled trying to decipher the writing. She couldn't read most of the English written on the paper, but understood fully the numbers. When she got to the bottom line, her eyes popped open - wide open.

"Is this...?" she asked in a wavering voice while pointing to the bottom line.

"In American dollars, yes," Jeff replied.

"Then you are..."

"That's what they tell me."

"And you want to marry ME?"

"If you're still interested."

"Are you kidding?"

"No."

"If I marry you, that would mean I'm... I'm rich!" She blinked twice with a wide, goofy grin then fainted, slumping against Jeff's shoulder.

"You handled that very well, dear," Jeff said to his unconscious fiancee. "Let's take her home," he called to the driver while using the accounting report to fan Nabiki. "To the Tendo residence."

"By the way, sir. The Ambassador wants me to convey his congratulations," the driver said with a broad grin, holding up a cellular phone.

"You told him?" Jeff asked, stopping in mid-fan.

"He wanted me to call with the results after I picked you up. Something to do with a bet he had with the Japanese Prime Minister."

Jeff stared at the man and shook his head. "Don't you people have something better to do?"

The driver shrugged. "I guess not. The Prime Minister called Furinkan's principal who took the call from under his desk and demanded to know what was going on. I guess it's kinda unheard of for a Nerima high school girl to marry a gaijin."

Jeff patted Nabiki's limp shoulder. "He clearly doesn't know this girl. She's special." He looked down at his unconscious fiancee. Her slack jaw was now sporting a thin line of drool that dribbled out onto her school uniform blouse. With a sigh, Jeff used his handkerchief to wipe her chin. "Of course, there's always room for improvement.

Kasumi fished the last dish out of her rapidly cooling rinse water and started to wipe it dry. It had been an uneventful day so far. Just the usual shopping, cleaning, and meal-making. There was still laundry to finish and she needed to hurry to catch the afternoon sun. Sighing, she paused her dish wiping. Her work had gone slower lately because she was worried about her sister's failed relationship. Such a thing shouldn't have disrupted the whole family but they really liked Jeffrey. When he gave up on Nabiki, it was as if the whole family had failed. Kasumi shook her head. Despite Mother promising that everything would turn out happily for her sister, that no longer seemed possible. Nabiki was an emotional wreck and Jeffrey was nowhere to be found. As much as she hated the idea, it looked like Mother was wrong this time.

A short siren from the street out front momentarily drove from her concerns about Nabiki. Curious as to what could be disturbing their quiet Nerima neighborhood, she went to the front door overlooking the main gate. Standing in the doorway, the warm spring air surrounding her, she tried to see what was happening. Children were running and laughing along the street as they escorted a pair of police motorcycles, their lights flashing and an occasional horn warning people to make way.

Crowds pushed up onto the narrow sidewalk and clustered together as if on a subway platform. A couple of street vendors hurriedly pushed their carts out of the way before pausing to stare at what followed the motorcycles. A large black limousine, like one important people owned, carefully turned onto the street in front of her home. All shiny and black, it had to be owned by some rich industrialist or influential politician - maybe even the Prime Minister himself.

She wondered why such a person was touring her neighborhood. To her surprise, the limousine stopped next to their main gate. She could also just barely see over the top of the wall that surrounded their property a couple of large camouflage painted vehicles and a police squad car with its lights flashing bringing-up the rear. All that was needed were a couple of bands to turn it into a parade.

Kasumi rose lightly on the balls of her feet to get a better look at the limo. "Why did they stop here?" she wondered aloud, while still idly wiping the dish. "Such a nice car. I wonder who it belongs to."
Her answer came when the limo driver walked briskly around to the rear door and formally opened it. Jeff Lawrence was the first to emerge followed quickly by Nabiki Tendo. Kasumi gasped and dropped the dish, both hands quickly covering her mouth in surprise.

"Father! Father, come quickly!" she yelled, clutching the dish towel to her chest as she scurried through the house. "It's Nabiki and she's with Jeffrey!" The assumption around the Tendo household was that they had seen the last of Nabiki's would-be suitor. His return seemed nothing short of a miracle.
Mr. Tendo hurried into the front hallway with Mr. Saotome close behind. Both came to an abrupt halt in the doorway, their mouths open. Soun stared at the approaching couple. Genma had his eyes on the expensive limo.

"Tendo-sensei," Jeff addressed Nabiki's father formally with a polite bow. "I would like to discuss terms for your daughter's hand in marriage."
Nabiki bowed with Jeffrey, clearly enjoying being the center of all this attention. Usually, she detested such traditions of bartering with the father for rights to marriage, thinking them relics of a useless past, but most of the neighborhood was now watching - she could see them standing on their porches and hanging out of windows. That made all the difference.

The sight of four camouflage-dressed US Marines, along with a pair of white-gloved metropolitan police officers, taking positions in front of the gate was more than enough to keep the curious outside. The Marines were determined that nothing was going to interrupt the big moment for their 'little brother'. No one appeared willing to argue with them.

Kasumi sighed contentedly and hurried to prepare some tea for their guest. Her sister had made the right decision after all. "I don't know how you managed this, Mother, but it looks like you were right," she said softly as she pulled out the family's best tea cups. She should have been irritated that her younger sister was getting married first but couldn't find it in her heart to feel that way. Everything had a place and time. This was Nabiki's time. Hers would come later. After all,
mother had promised.

Ranma and Akane began pushing their way through the crowd, both a little surprised at all the commotion. Akane greeted as many as she recognized, bowing politely as she worked her way toward the gate. Annoyed with the mob, Ranma took a shortcut. Bounding atop the wall, he glanced back just long enough to congratulate himself for being so clever before dropping lightly to the grass on the other side.

Akane took a more leisurely pace, blushing appropriately when one of the handsome Marines held open the gate and touched the brim of his hat in a gesture that made her feel special. She liked it when people treated her like a girl. If only Ranma could see that. Her unhurried pace allowed time to day-dream of what was to come. In her mind, she saw, first her sister, then herself, in a beautiful white wedding dress standing in a magnificent cathedral surrounded by all her friends who were dividing their time between fussing over her dress and whispering enviously about her looks. If only Ranma were more romantic, she thought, she might get to experience a happy ending. Her pace quickened as she reached the door. She wanted to see what a happy ending looked like.

Mr. Tendo, eyes already beginning to grow misty, led the way back into the main room and directed Jeff and Nabiki towards two cushions at the low table. Mr. Saotome followed, beaming like a successful matchmaker. In spite of the fact he had nothing to do with this pairing, he believed their engagement would provide incentive for his reluctant son to follow through with Akane. Heaven only knew, the boy needed incentive.

Moments later, Jeff and Nabiki sat stiffly across the table from Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome. Akane and Ranma assumed their positions at the table with their backs to the open engawa overlooking the garden. Kasumi brought enough tea cups for everyone and began pouring the tea. After all, what would an important meeting be without hot green tea?

"Tendo-sensei," Jeff began, using his most formal voice. He was still a little worried how Mr. Tendo would take his sudden return and proposal to Nabiki. "A few weeks ago, I left this house determined never to return. Since then, much in my life has changed. Most importantly to me, your daughter, Nabiki,
indicated that our match would be acceptable." Jeff paused to take a deep breath and consider carefully the rest of what he intended to say. "Please forgive my gaijin ways. I know I should have requested an omaii first but there was no time. I am supposed to be leaving Japan as I am now considered an adult in my country."

Mr. Tendo indicated with a nod that he understood. Encouraged, Jeff pressed on. He knew the most difficult part of this meeting was yet to come. "I am not here with thoughts of dowry or title, but only that we might reach a consensus as it relates to marrying your daughter." Again, Mr. Tendo nodded his agreement. His expression remained unreadable. Jeff hoped that was a good sign.

"I know she is of great value to you," he said, carefully maintaining the image the Tendo family chose for Nabiki. "But I believe our union will benefit both our families. Naturally, if you disagree or believe your daughter should not marry a gaijin, I will not question your decision. I would never disgrace the proud name of Tendo with such an act."

Mr. Tendo, tears now streaming down his cheeks, looked at Nabiki. "Is this your will, daughter? Do you agree to this marriage with Lawrence-san?"

So caught up in imagining how every dream she ever had was about to come true, Nabiki almost missed her father's question.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, you bet," she responded, adding a respectful bow. Why, she couldn't say. It just felt right.

"What of your previous objections?" Soun asked. Nabiki looked briefly at Kasumi's smiling face, grateful for all her older sister's support. "Yeah, well... someone explained things to me. I'm now ready to accept my role in life. I will become a good wife. In fact, I REALLY like the idea. Yup, ready to tie the knot. So, can I marry him, please, please...PLEASE?" She knew full well that her father's agreement was guaranteed but went through with the formality anyway. Her father's incredulous frown caused her to roll her eyes. "No, Daddy, I don't HAVE to get married. I WANT to get married. You see, he's rich."

"WHAT?" everyone shouted loudly enough to be heard by the crowd outside.

"You put us through all that turmoil over marrying a poor Jeff Lawrence and he turns out to be rich?" Akane asked in astonishment, as she glanced between Jeff and her sister like she wasn't certain with whom to be angry.

"How rich?" Ranma asked, leaning on his fist and wearing a skeptical expression like he still didn't trust the American.

"Rich enough for me," Nabiki chirped, cuddling Jeff's arm.

Obviously taken aback by his daughter's revelation, Mr. Tendo abruptly stopped crying. "Then, he's... I mean... you're saying he's..." His eyes glazed over. Only Mr. Saotome's strong arm prevented him from pitching forward onto the table.

"So, Nabiki, when do you two wish to be married?" Kasumi asked sweetly while pouring hot water into even more tea filled cups. This was her second load of cups. Everyone in the room had two in front of them.

"Well...," Nabiki began, casting an apprehensive glance at her fiance. "We haven't really discussed that part yet."

"If I may suggest," Jeff offered. He couldn't help but frown a bit. There was one tiny part of this inheritance he'd neglected to tell his future wife and her family. One that might not go down well with the Tendos. "I propose to be married in Hawaii next month."
The whole room gasped as if Jeff had suggested something unseemly. Mr. Tendo slowly rumbled to life like an awakening volcano.

"Are you suggesting that this ancestral family home, a home in which my late wife and I were married, a home in which my three daughters were born, is unsuitable for a wedding?"

Jeff swallowed hard, realizing an indelicate approach to this subject could have far reaching effects. "Not at all, sir. You see, if I don't get married in America, I don't get the inheritance." He paused, hoping for some positive reaction from the family. Receiving none, he gulped again. What I am proposing is to fly all of you to Hawaii where Nabiki and I will be married in a little Japanese-American church on top of a hill overlooking the central plains of Oahu." Jeff paused before adding: "My parents picked it out."

After a long pause, Mr. Saotome slipped in a question. "Are you saying that we all will be flown - free - to Hawaii - free - to attend your wedding - for FREE?"

"Certainly."

"All expenses paid?"

"Of course, that's what 'free' means."

"And you get the money if you marry in Hawaii?"

"Correct."

"Works for me." Mr. Saotome cast a smug look at Ranma. "Pack your bag, boy. We're goin' to the islands."

"Not so fast," Mr Tendo warned. "What about accommodations? I trust they will be suitable for someone in your position...and of course your new family."

"Naturally." Jeff began to feel a little uneasy over the kinds of questions they were asking. It felt awkward repeatedly assuring everyone that the entire wedding trip would cost them next to nothing.

"Free?" Mr. Saotome asked again with a tilt of his head.

"Yes, free," Jeff replied, suppressing his frustration at Mr. Saotome's preoccupation with the cost. Maybe it had something to do with how the Japanese finance a wedding. Maybe Genma Saotome was just cheap. The fathers glanced at each other, like neither was inclined to make the decision. Jeff got the uncomfortable feeling he needed to offer something else - quick.

"Did I mention the special beach luau bachelor party?" The two fathers grinned at each other. You could almost see the visions of dancing girls, lots of sake, and a whole roast pig to themselves dancing in their heads.

Nabiki interrupted Jeff's feeling of relief when her fingers harpooned him in the ribs. "Do you remember what I first called you?" she asked, leaning over and using a calm but threatening voice.

"Uh, Jeff-san?" he ventured.

"Nope."

"Incredibly handsome gaijin?"

"Not even close."

Jeff sighed and closed his eyes. "Toady worm."

"Bingo."

"That's not fair, Nabiki. A guy is supposed to have a party the night before his wedding. You want me to break a tradition?" Jeff asked with a raised eyebrow. Nabiki looked like she wasn't sure whether or not he was putting her on.

"I've heard all about this little 'tradition' of yours," she growled back with crossed arms and a warning look. "Drinking to you're sick, carousing with loose women, and engaging in all sorts of unsavory acts. I will not allow you to participate in one of those nights of debauchery."

"Allow?" Jeff asked. It sounded more like a challenge than a question.

Nabiki relented slightly, her chin dropping and a hurt expression crossing her face. "Well, maybe that's a bit strong. I just don't like the idea of another woman spending even one moment in your arms."

"Not to worry," Jeff replied, his familiar smile returning. "I promise. It won't be that kind of party. Just some food, some local entertainment, and a night with the guys." Nabiki grimaced slightly before continuing to frown his way.

"Look, you want this wedding to happen or not?" Jeff said softly in his defense. Nabiki just increased the severity of her look - her head tilting slightly to show Jeff the degree of her skepticism. "In case it has escaped your notice, your father hasn't agreed yet."

Nabiki glanced at the fathers. They were excitedly talking among themselves. "Very well," she hissed. "But it better be the first AND the last time."

"For you, anything." Jeff allowed a little smile of victory. He wasn't worried. He didn't need all the things Nabiki mentioned. As far as he was concerned, he was getting the best girl in the world.

"Okay, It's a deal," Mr. Tendo said with a smile. "You have permission to marry my daughter." Then turning to Kasumi he asked: "Do you think Mrs. Suzuki would be willing to watch the place while we're gone?"

"I'm sure she would be happy to as her wedding gift to Nabiki," Kasumi said sweetly. "She always liked Nabiki." Nabiki looked at Jeff and made a sour face. She didn't really get on with old people. The overly affectionate Mrs. Suzuki was one she took special care to avoid - which wasn't easy. The old lady seemed to have a sixth sense as to where Nabiki was and when she would be home.

As if on cue, the room erupted into chaotic discussions about preparations for securing the residence, dresses and tuxedos, and what everyone was going to see while in Hawaii.

"I think the whole thing is so romantic," Akane finally sighed, with visions of Nabiki, dressed in white, standing in a grove of palm trees to get married.

"You gotta be kidding," Ranma groused. "The whole thing took nine months, cost Jeffrey a bundle, and he still had to confront her at school before she would agree. That's not romantic. That's nuts!"

Before Akane could react, Mr. Saotome interceded. "Boy, you would do well to take lessons in courtship from young Lawrence-san here." He grasped his surprised son's shirt by its collar. "But, since he's busy right now, I'll have to do it myself."
With a move that surprised only Jeff, Genma tossed his son out the open engawa, across the yard and into the koi pond. A loud splash and the Jusenkyo curse did its job once again.

The Marine guards, hearing the commotion and fearing that Jeff had been thrown out on his head, quickly converged on the pond. They skidded to a halt at the pond's edge when a buxom red-headed female slowly stood up dripping wet - her ample charms clearly displayed through her drenched top. Four jaws hit the ground at the same time.

"What are YOU looking at?" Ranma-chan yelled at the four gaping Marines as she removed her wet top. Four sets of eyes went wide at the topless girl standing knee-deep in the tiny pond. Trying to ignore them, Ranma-chan began squeezing the water out of her shirt while muttering about how amazing it was that her father always seemed to hit one tiny pond surrounded by hundreds of square feet of soft grass. Akane dashed across the lawn with an oversized bath towel. Meeting Ranma-chan at the pool's edge, she quickly wrapped it around her gender-switched fiancé.

"Since the curse turns you into a girl, it wouldn't hurt for you to learn just a bit of feminine modesty," she chided, casting a worried glance at the Marines.

"How can I learn anything with those four apes staring at me?"

Akane leaned closer. "They're staring at you because you took your shirt off."

"Why should that..." Ranma-chan's voice trailed off when she opened the towel enough to look at her chest. "Ohmygosh," she gasped, quickly covering herself again. "I forgot about that."

"What's important now is that we get you inside and into some warm water so you can change back." Akane began guiding the red-headed female like a nursing home patient towards the house.

Ranma-chan glanced over her shoulder with an irritated expression at the still gaping Marines before yelling: "It's not what you think. I'm a guy, okay?" The

Marines glanced at each other as they turned away. One said loud enough to be heard: "Sheesh! These Tendo women may be hot babes but they're also loony as they come."

---

It was a beautiful Hawaiian morning at the Honolulu Zoo where a special ceremony was taking place.

"It is with a great deal of pride I welcome the representatives from the Peoples Republic of China and their traveling Panda exhibit," the American Vice-President said. Loud applause greeted the announcement.
Standing next to him on the platform was the Chinese Minister of Pandas, his eight assistants, an interpreter, four people with weird-sounding zoological degrees, six secret service agents, and two guys with oversized pooper-scoopers. Understandably, it was crowded.

The Minister of Pandas whispered something to his interpreter. Turning to the American Veep, the interpreter asked: "The minister wants to know how you like our wild pandas?"

Chuckling broadly, the Vice-President smiled and nodded. "With BBQ sauce over a slow fire," he said, adding a guffaw.

The interpreter stood stunned at the suggestion. "Surely, you don't suggest...," he gasped.

The Vice-President's smile faded only briefly. "That was a joke, son."

Relief washed over the interpreter's face. "Oh, yes, of course. Very good." He bobbed a couple of bows.

Translating the joke to his superior, he held his breath. The Minister of Pandas thought about his response for a moment before replying with a nod: "Then you must be very fond of dogs."

"Oh, you bet," the Vice-President said with another chuckle. "I got ten or twelve of 'em back home at the ranch."

"Ah, good selection," the Minister of Pandas said. "We must have dinner sometime."

The Chinese Minister of Pandas smiled, the American Vice President smiled, and the translator tried to think of some way of avoiding a roast dog dinner.

Nearby, deep in the shadows, two figures watched with great interest as the pandas were unloaded into their simple compound.

"What do you think?" the tall figure asked his partner.

"Piece of cake," the shorter figure replied. "We steal a truck, sneak in after dark, disable guards, and grab the pandas."

"And then?"

"What else? We demand an exorbitant ransom."

---

In a palatial residence in upscale Beverly Hills, California, Montgomery Phillips, the spoiled nephew of the late Ronald and Ruth Phillips, sat brooding in his medieval-decorated great room. Slumped in an overstuffed chair in front of a crackling fake fire in a giant stone fireplace that would have looked at home in an old English castle, the small man growled at the suits of armor standing guard around the room's perimeter.

"I KNEW those worthless pukes would leave all their damn money to that stinking weasel. It's always been: Jeffrey this... Jeffrey that... I'm so sick of hearing that illegitimate bastard's name! That's MY money he's getting. I DESERVE to have it."
His fit was interrupted by the butler announcing his personal lawyer. As the attorney nervously entered, Monty snarled. "I want my Great-Uncle Ronald's money. Is there any way to fight that damn will?"

"I'm afraid not, sir," the attorney replied. He should have been used to his client's behavior by now but it still unnerved him to be verbally assaulted in a room full of medieval weapons. "According to my sources, the will is iron clad." Verbal abuse was one thing but physical assault was another matter. He ducked a poorly thrown ash tray.

"Why do I pay you vultures when you can't even get a simple thing like a will contested?" Monty flopped back down in his overstuffed chair and pouted.

"If I may, sir?" the lawyer continued. "There is no direct way to contest the will. However, there appears to be a small... ambiguity in what would happen should Mr. Jeffrey Lawrence be...oh, let's just say: incapacitated."

"Go on, you interest me." Monty was calmer now. He always calmed down when discovering a way of getting what he wanted.

"Well, to put it bluntly, if Jeffrey Lawrence were to meet with an unfortunate accident, the usual legal result would be for the inheritance to pass to another heir. Provided, of course, Mr. Lawrence is still unmarried. Since you would be the next in line, it would most certainly go to you." The slimy lawyer rubbed his hands together thinking of a large bonus he would receive should this scheme work.

"An accident, huh?" Monty leaned back, deep in thought. "Now, THAT has possibilities."

---

Three weeks later, back at the Tendo residence, Kasumi was briefing the diminutive Mrs. Suzuki on the details of their trip and making sure she had all the telephone numbers necessary.

"I think it's wonderful that little Nabiki is getting married," the old woman croaked. "Wouldn't it be marvelous if it could be a double or even a triple wedding?" She chuckled openly at her own suggestion.

Kasumi nodded almost self-consciously. "I'm afraid Akane is closer to being wed than I."

"Ah yes, little Akane," the old woman said with a frown like she was trying to remember what the little girl looked like. "Isn't she promised in marriage to some strange Chinese boy?"

"No, Suzuki-senpai," Kasumi said with a sigh. "Ranma Saotome is Japanese."

"And a damned strange one," the old lady finished.

"Well, you got me there," Kasumi muttered to herself. Restoring her usual all-purpose house-smile, she looked again at her neighbor. "You have everything you need should there be any trouble," she said, more reassuring herself than the old lady.

"Don't worry, I'm sure little Akane's wedding will be fine."

"Nabiki."

"Nabiki? Where is that little scamp?" The old lady looked around like she expected to see a seven year-old skipping into the room.

"It's Nabiki's wedding, Mrs Suzuki," Kasumi gently corrected.

"Nabiki? Is she getting married too?" Kasumi just sighed and shook her head in resignation. Handing the keys to her confused neighbor, she turned to go pack. It really didn't matter whose wedding Suzuki-senpai thought they were going to attend. Just so long as the place was taken care of while they were gone. She only wished the old lady could keep their names straight.

---

Back in California, Monty Phillips finished an expensive dinner at his favorite club. He was dining there, not because of the extraordinary pheasant under glass but because it featured a phone that was so public it couldn't be traced back to him. He happily dialed the number written on his napkin, just before soaking it in his red wine to hide the numbers. His plan was perfect It was simple, guaranteed fatal, and most of all, it would preserve his deniability. He chuckled as the number he'd dialed began to ring.

---

The next day, both families found themselves on a large American airliner heading for Honolulu. The fathers quietly played an electronic version of Go on the vacant seat between them. Neither really liked the device very much, it offered no way to cheat. Still, it was going to be a long flight and there were just so many magazines and movies one could stand.
The girls, on the other hand, were finding it much easier to adjust to the confining spaces of a 747.

"What are you going to do first?" Akane asked her oldest sister.
Kasumi sighed as she swished a cool soft drink in its cup and forced her eyes from the in-flight movie. The last few days had been the longest time she had ever gone without cooking, cleaning, or doing the laundry and she was savoring every moment. Like a patient mother, she removed her earphones and smiled at her little sister.

"Oh, maybe spend a day at the beach," she said with a smile.

"Or do some shopping. I always wanted to buy something nice to wear at the beach."

"Yeah, the beach sounds good. I'm looking forward to doing a little body surfing." Kasumi's pained expression was hard to hide. Akane had all the swimming potential of a hammer. The girl could sink to the bottom of a salt lake. Kasumi was about to issue a caution to her sister when they were interrupted by Ranma-chan tapping on Akane's shoulder.

"This better be important, pervert," Akane growled, not even willing to look at her gender-switched fiance.

"It is!" Ranma-chan hissed. "We've got to talk...privately."

Akane frowned as she glanced around the aircraft's cabin before giving the red-head a confused look. "Where? We're on an airplane. There's no 'private' anywhere."

"Yes there is. Follow me." She grabbed Akane's arm and towed her quickly down the aisle. Near the galley, Ranma-chan made a quick turn into a vacant lavatory. Dragging a protesting Akane in behind her, Ranma-chan slammed shut the door and turned, almost nose to nose, to face a growling fiancee.

"This better be good," Akane warned, trying to get as far away from Ranma-chan as possible. It wasn't easy. Airline lavatories were not designed to accommodate two at a time. It was closer than a Tokyo subway during rush hour.

"Why do I have to travel as a girl?" Ranma-chan whined. Akane tried to cross her arms but failed due to her fianc 's impressive female form.

"Because you got yourself drenched just before your picture was taken at the passport office. It's a good thing Nabiki was able to convince everyone that 'Ranma' was a strange girl's name. We were very lucky. Usually, there's a six to eight week wait to get passports. It took every favor Nabiki had on her books to get us in as quickly as she did. So, since your passport says you are a girl, you have to travel as a girl." She couldn't resist adding with a sarcastic smile:

"Sweetie."

Ranma-chan ignored the insult but squirmed uncomfortably. "You know how much I hate being like this. I'm a guy. I don't know about certain... girl things."

"What are you talking about, Ranma? You're wearing the same clothes you wear as a boy. So, that can't be it." Akane was growing even more impatient with both their conversation and confinement.

"There's something else. Something... personal."

Akane almost hated herself for asking. "Personal?"

"You know, the thing you get every month that makes you so crabby. What will I do if it happens to ME?"

"It does NOT make me crabby!" Akane yelled as it dawned on her just what the little creep was talking about.

"It sure does!" Ranma-chan yelled back, her voice echoing uncomfortably in the limited space. The two glared at each other - which was just about all either could do in such a confining little room.

"I don't believe I'm having this conversation. You're not just a pervert, you're also an IDIOT!"

"I AM NOT! I just want to know what to do if.. IT happens," Ranma-chan yelled back.

"It's not gonna... Oh, why do I even try?" Akane said with a sigh of resignation. She quickly dug through her tiny purse until she found a small cardboard cylinder. Holding it up, she hissed: "You just put this in..."

Ranma-chan's eyes got huge. "In... WHERE?"

Akane cocked her head and gave Ranma-chan a look of exasperation. Realizing just what Akane was asking her to do, Ranma-chan reacted loudly.

"HUH-UH! NO WAY!" A knock at the door interrupted the red-head's response.

Irritated, Akane yelled at the door using her best high school English: "One minute. We come right out!"

A lady waiting outside the door turned to the man in line behind her and blinked. "Did she say: 'We'?"

"Beats me," he replied with a shrug. "Don't you women go to the bathroom in groups?"

Back inside the lavatory, Akane's patience with her fianc had finally run out. "Then you can just wait until we get to the hotel," she hissed in an exaggerated whisper.

"But what if...?" Ranma-chan started.

"Here," Akane growled, grabbing a handful of paper towels and thrusting them at a confused looking fianc . "Stuff these in your drawers."
With that, she unlocked the door and violently swung it open, knocking Ranma-chan back onto the toilet. The crowd outside had grown to over a dozen people. Once Akane excused her way through them, all eyes turned to the red-haired Japanese girl desperately trying to stuff a wad of paper towels down the front of her pants. Suddenly aware of her audience, Ranma-chan stopped, got a disgusted look on her face and yelled:

"WHAT?"
The crowd quickly dispersed to find another lavatory.

Akane returned to her seat muttering about how she couldn't believe she was living with that jerk.

"Is Ranma all right?" Kasumi asked sweetly.

"I doubt that pervert was ever 'all right'," Akane huffed, plopping down in her seat and jamming her headphones back on her head.
Kasumi was about to return to the movie when she caught sight of Ranma-chan waddling down the aisle, her pants overflowing with paper towels.

"Oh my," she gasped, before slowly turning back to the movie and silently pleading with her mother to stop laughing.

Tatewaki Kuno arrived at the Tendo residence early Saturday morning. Normally, he detested lowering himself to making such a personal visit. But since Nabiki hadn't returned his arrow messages, thrown rocks, or even a servant-delivered note, he saw no alternative. He had grown bored staring at the same Akane pictures day after day and was desperate for Nabiki to sell him new ones.

Poking his head through the partially open gate, he scowled at the unkempt nature of the lawn. Snorting his disdain, he pushed open the gate and approached the front door of the house as if something were about to ambush him from the tall grass on either side of the walk. He couldn't believe his sweet Akane was living in this dump.

Opening the front door, he announced his arrival. When there was no answer, he grumbled: "Where is everyone?"
An elderly lady finally emerged from the hallway, carrying an old broom. She looked like she had just finished sweeping. Kuno frowned at her as he tried to remember if Nabiki had a grandmother or something.

Not taking any chances, he bowed formally. "My apologies, Obasan. I am here -"

"I'm not you grandma, sonny," the old lady warned, a harsh look coming over her face. "I'm Mrs. Suzuki. They asked me to watch the place. Glad I did. Their TV gets a better picture than mine and you're keeping me from my favorite shows."

"My humblest of apologies," Kuno said with another formal bow - despite the fact he felt offended himself at being dressed down in such a manner. "I am here for -"

"Ah, yes." Mrs. Suzuki cut him off again. "You're here to mow the grass. About time, too. Now the mower is out back -"

"With all due respect," Kuno interrupted stiffly. "I'm here to see Miss Nabiki Tendo about a matter of business."

"Oh, well, she's not here," Mrs. Suzuki replied with an irritated voice. "She and her family went to Hawaii for...ummm." She paused to scratch her head. "Oh, yes, little Akane's wedding."
Kuno stumbled back a step, his mouth opening and closing several times while he blinked quickly. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

"Hey, that's pretty good," the old lady remarked with a grin. "My late husband used to be able to do that, too. Course, he could make funny 'popping' noises when he did it. Can you also make 'popping' noises?"

"AKANE TENDO? HAWAII? WEDDING?" Kuno was almost in a state of apoplexy. The mere notion that his beloved Akane had slipped away to be married was enough to cause certain bodily functions to completely shut down. His brain wasn't doing so well either.

"You don't have to shout, young man. I'm not deaf you know." Mrs. Suzuki poked the twitching Kuno with the handle of her broom. He switched to making strange gurgling sounds as his body vibrated against the open door. He felt like his head was about to explode.

"My late husband used to be able to do that too. Well, he was best at it just before he died," she observed thoughtfully. "Sure you don't want that mowing job? I'll pay you a whole five thousand yen." Kuno stopped vibrating and let out a long, blood curdling scream that echoed throughout Nerima as he ran blindly from the residence.

"I guess not. What a strange young man," Mrs. Suzuki mumbled as she returned to the main room where the TV was on. "Oh, crap! He made me miss the 'Brady Bunch'."

---

It was an especially dark night in Hawaii. So dark that no one observed a lone figure cutting the chain holding closed a back gate to the city zoo. A small delivery truck slowly drove through the gate, past the drugged guards and down to the panda exhibit. Twenty minutes later, the truck, now loaded with two prized female Chinese Pandas, drove back out of the zoo and headed for the city center. The thieves were certain that no one would discover the theft until morning. By then, they would have hidden both the truck and the pandas. It was a simple but brilliantly executed crime.

---

The wedding guests arrived in Hawaii around mid-morning and easily cleared customs. Ranma-chan, having shed her paper towels, actually behaved the whole time. Of course, Akane's threats were likely the reason.

Jeff and Nabiki met them at the exit from customs, having taken an earlier flight to prepare for the family's arrival. Nabiki had to repeatedly assure her father that nothing improper happened between her and Jeff during their two days in romantic Hawaii. After all, his mother was here and staying in a suite just down the hall. A short van ride through the city brought the family to their hotel. They were not alone. A mob of a hundred or more young people milled about the hotel entrance. Wearing matching t-shirts and waving placards or cameras, they seemed to be shouting something at the hotel staff that blocked their entrance.

"Is that a protest?" Akane asked, tilting her head to see more of the crowd.

"I'm not sure," Jeff replied as the van came to a halt. "You all better wait here until I find out what's going on."
Climbing out of the van, he was surprised to see Ranma-chan following.

"I'm coming too," she said. Jeff shot the short red-head a questioning look. This wasn't the sort of thing Ranma would be good at. Trying to remain calm while surrounded by a mob was tough. He'd seen his father do it once when they got caught in the middle of a nasty, rock-throwing mob in England. It was one of the few times he had been impressed with his father. Scanning the crowd, Jeff noticed that a few appeared to be carrying martial arts items, a bo staff here and a pair of nunchakus there, but none were brandishing them in an aggressive manner. For now, the whole episode appeared to be confined to talk. Jeff and Ranma-chan edged close enough to listen, noticing along the way that the matching shirts many in the crowd were wearing had a familiar-looking Chinese actor's face on them.

"I told you before, he's not staying here," a man standing at the top of the stairs said in a booming voice. From his attire, he appeared to be a member of the hotel's management.

"You can't fool us," called one young man from the crowd.

"We heard he was shooting a movie here," another added. All this did nothing to clear things up for Jeff. He pushed closer.

"Look, Jackie Chan is filming on the other side of the island." The hotel manager waved his arms in an exasperated manner.

"Nice try but I read on the Internet last night that he's staying in THIS hotel!" called the first young man. He held up a 'Welcome Jackie Chan' poster like a shield as he spoke.

"Yeah, I went to three on-line chat rooms and they all agree that he's staying here!" a girl yelled, pointing at the hotel.

"I'm telling you he's not. He was never here. He's on the other side of the island." The manager shook his head in disbelief. "Now, break it up before I call the police." Turning on his heel, he stomped back into the hotel, leaving a phalanx of bell boys to block the front door behind him. Unconvinced, the crowd milled about, grumbling about how the Internet never lies and they just had to get inside to see their movie idol.

"Jackie Chan?" Ranma-chan asked Jeff.

"Chinese actor. Martial arts movies," Jeff replied while continuing to critically eye the crowd.

"Oh, yes. I remember now. Very funny guy. Good actor - for a Chinese," Ranma-chan noted. She frowned at a couple of passing fan-boys who were ogling her current female form.

"Well, it looks like the crowd is breaking up. In any case, I doubt they're much of a danger to anyone." Jeff smiled and added a friendly greeting nod towards another group of guys as they wandered past.

After convincing everyone in the van it was safe, Jeff helped the driver unload the family's luggage. The entourage filed into the hotel, getting strange looks from some of the bell boys and the crowd of Jackie Chan fans out front.

They were almost to the desk when the manager spotted them. "Whoa, you guys! I told you Jackie Chan is not here!"

"We're not here for Mr. Chan," Jeff said, holding up a hand. "We're guests. I have reservations."

The manager eyed the combined families, ending with a frown Ranma-chan's way. "What's with the Chinese kid?"
Jeff glanced at Ranma-chan and groaned to himself. She was wearing her usual black and red outfit.

"She's not Chinese. She just dresses funny," he replied, biting his tongue and hoping no one in either family understood his English or at least enough to note his sarcastic response. With a sigh, the manager bellied up to one of the computer terminals and began typing. There was an anxious moment waiting for the reservation to show before the manager appeared to relax.

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm sorry for earlier. These Jackie Chan fans are relentless. Earlier this morning, we found two of them hiding in a maid's cart. They almost gave the poor woman a heart attack."

After assuring the manager there was no harm done, everyone picked up their card-keys and headed for the elevators. The manager followed along to show them the way and ride heard over the bell boys who were struggling with all the family's luggage. It turned out the manager spoke passable Japanese and carried on a constant monologue with the fathers about what facilities the hotel offers and made some suggestions about what sights to see while in Hawaii.
Once up on the fourth floor, the fathers were shown to their shared suite while the girls and Ranma each got a deluxe room of their own.

As it was a beautiful Hawaiian day, the family decided to start their trip off with a visit to the beach outside their hotel. However, preparations didn't go as smoothly as all hoped.

"Why do I always have to wear a girl's swimsuit?" Ranma-chan moaned. We're already in Hawaii. Why can't I just change back into my male form?"

"Because, stupid, we're going to the beach. If you get wet wearing a boy's swimsuit, you'll get arrested," Akane answered with an annoyed expression. "This is America. They take a dim view of topless public swimming." She turned to her sisters. "By the way, why do I always have to provide clothes for this pervert?"

Kasumi shook her head and sighed. "We've already been over this. He's your fiance and in his female form, you are the closest to his size." She handed Ranma-chan one of Akane's Speedos and like a frustrated mother, directed her towards the bathroom to change.

"Besides, Akane, it really doesn't make any difference what you wear to the beach. You never get in the water anyway," Nabiki remarked while idly looking out a window.

"Yeah? Well this time I'm gonna do some real swimming." Akane bristled. "The reason I have trouble back home is because the water around Japan isn't right for swimming. Hawaiian water is different. People swim here all the time." Her two older sisters looked at each other and rolled their eyes, certain it was going to be a long day for the lifeguards.

Meanwhile, at the Honolulu International Airport, two uninvited wedding 'guests' were arriving. Tatewaki Kuno and his crazy sister Kodachi were just passing through customs. Kuno was forced to bring his sister along when she discovered the reason he was booking a flight to Hawaii. If her honey, Ranma, was going to marry anyone, it was going to be her. She would try to spare Akane for her stupid brother but if the girl got in her way, she couldn't be held responsible for what happened.

Customs went quickly until it came to the Kunos' luggage. Despite her brother's protest, Kodachi had insisted on bringing everything she could conceivably need, including practically every stitch of clothing she owned. Altogether, there were fourteen over-stuffed suitcases for the Customs people to search.
Trouble for the Kunos began when a bundle of her favorite black roses were discovered.

"Sorry, ma'am. Plants are not allowed," the customs inspector said in an official but reasonably friendly voice.

"I don't believe this," Kodachi gasped in Japanese to her brother. "What barbarians these Americans be to not recognize such beauty." The inspectors exchanged glances. Despite such plant life being a common enough error, her indignant reaction only raised further suspicion about what else the couple might be smuggling.

When two packages of Kodachi's own sleeping potion were found in the pants leg of her gym suit, drug-sniffing dogs were called in. Only when she convinced them that the powder was for her because she had trouble sleeping in strange places did they agree to simply confiscate it as well. After the dog failed to find any trace of real illegal drugs in her luggage, the customs agents were almost convinced this was just a strange Japanese couple and not real drug smugglers.

That is, until one of the agents began rummaging through her unique rhythmic gymnastic equipment. Kodachi Kuno wasn't known as the Black Rose of St. Hebereke simply because of her affinity to the strange flower. It came from her notoriety as the most dishonest competitor in the sport of rhythmic gymnastics. She had turned what should have been a honest sporting endeavor into a deadly martial art, employing devious tricks to defeat or remove from competition all who challenged her. When one of the Customs Agents picked up an Indian club and accidentally triggered it to spring open, revealing a series of sharp spikes, the police were called.

Four hours later, the pair were released after Kodachi convinced them the club was a sample sent by her father's company, new in the market of Nuevo-Gothic party favors and novelties. She was in Hawaii along with her brother to contact potential customers. However, until her story could be verified and the appropriate paperwork filed, everything would have to be impounded.

Kodachi and her brother trudged into the hot Hawaiian afternoon with what was left of their dignity. It took two taxis to get both them and their mountain of luggage to the hotel. As she looked out the window of the taxi, Kodachi smiled to herself. Somehow, she had been able to keep her most deadly martial arts weapon; her three-meter ribbon. Armed and determined to stop a wedding, she pondered their next move.

Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo, dressed in t-shirts and swimsuits, found themselves a shady area just off the beach where they could demonstrate their Tai Chi while ogling all the girls that happened by. Showing off their martial arts skills surrounded by beautiful women wearing the least legally possible,
made this place much better than the beaches back home.

Akane and Ranma-chan wandered past, engaged in their usual debate about what to do first. Akane wanted to prove her theory about the differences in water being the cause of her swimming problems. The female Ranma, after irritating Akane with complaints about her swimsuit being uncomfortably tight in the bust and too loose in the butt, suggested they try the beach food vendors.

Kasumi settled into a comfortable little beach chair with a contented sigh. Her plan was to do some light reading and enjoy the warm sun, a luxury she denied herself back home. An extra layer of sunscreen skirting her conservative one-piece swimsuit made her skin glisten as she finished arranging everything on the blanket under her shapely legs. Being the polite girl she was, she smiled and nodded whenever anyone even appeared to be talking to her. Unfortunately, it kept attracting strangers who assumed she spoke English. Some were stranger than others.

"Pardon me, your bodacious beautifulness," came a voice from nearby. She looked over the top of her sunglasses to see a young man standing next to her blanket. He was about Jeffrey's age, with shoulder-length blond hair. His head bobbed lightly like he was listening to some sort of rock music even though she could see no radio. His face reminded her of the 'before' picture for an acne medicine ad.

"You mind if I, like, share your sun with you?" he asked with a goofy grin.

"Hai," Kasumi responded with an unsure smile. She didn't understand a word he was saying even though he seemed nice enough.

"Yeah, like 'hi' right back at ya." To her consternation, the blond guy flopped down next to her towel, scattering sand everywhere. Trying to conceal her irritation, she swept the sand off her things as best she could - her smile becoming harder to maintain.

"Me and T-bone - that's my buddy - just blew in from the coast looking for some gnarly waves and we're, like, gonna get some babes and - do you like, have a friend? For T-bone, I mean." The blond dude now had Kasumi totally lost, her smile slowly melting into a confused frown.

"Who's your friend, Kasumi?" Nabiki chirped in Japanese as she approached.

"I have no idea. He just sat down and started talking," Kasumi replied in a bewildered manner. "He's speaking English, I think."

"Hey, babe!" the blond beach dude said to Nabiki, adding an annoying chuckle. "You talk like the little oriental guy back home who cuts the grass at my parent's house." His head continued to bounce like one of those bobble-head dolls people put in the back window of their cars. "Hey, if you two babes could, like, be free tonight, me and T-bone could, like, show you a cool time."

"Well, he's certainly colorful," Nabiki observed, her Japanese going a long way towards keeping their conversation private. "Probably, harmless. I've heard the beaches are full of his type."

Jeff wandered up, holding in his hands three cool drinks. "Looks like you made a friend, Kasumi," he said.

"Wow, dude. You, like, speak the lingo too. Way cool."

"Although his English could use some work."

"He's not really my friend, Jeffrey. I was just being polite and he stayed," Kasumi lamented, accepting one of the drinks.

"Do you want me to tell him to go away?" Jeff asked.

Kasumi thought for a moment before replying. "Try not to be too harsh with him, Jeff-kun. I'm sure he means well."

Nodding that he understood, Jeff regarded the guy with a friendly smile. "I hope you don't take this wrong," Jeff said in English as politely as possible, "but the little lady here just asked me to tell you she's really not interested in whatever you're offering. She just wants a quiet afternoon on the beach." The blond dude, however, was not easily shooed off. His goofy grin quickly dissolved. Looking Jeff up and down, he slowly got to his feet and took an aggressive step forward.

"Yeah? And what if I, like, don't think the babe really said that? I think you're trying to steal my babe." He dropped into a poor excuse of a martial arts stance. "I know Kung Fu, dude. So you better, like, beat it now before I have to get rough."

Jeff felt his face lose all expression. Still holding two drinks, he glanced around, checking if anyone was really watching. Even with his limited training, he could tell the blonde was no fighter. Trying to appear non-threatening, he sighed and stared at the fool who was now making Bruce Lee meowing sounds while lightly bouncing on his feet.

Nabiki, seeing a nasty situation developing, stepped between her fianc and his antagonist. Setting her jaw, she subjected the blond to her most serious 'look'. The former captain of the Furinkan High School English Speaking Club prepared to deliver a severe scolding.

"Look, Bucko!" she growled in English, poking the blond in his chest with her finger. "Sister say she no like go away now."

"That's telling him, Nabiki," Jeff added under his breath. The blond guy just blinked and frowned at her warning. That wasn't the reaction she expected. Why didn't he get the message? She'd used the right words. Maybe he didn't understand English. She was certainly having difficulty understanding him.

"Jeff-chan, do you think he understood me?" she asked her fianc in Japanese.

"I'm not sure *I* understood you. You were using English, right?"

With an exasperated growl, Nabiki reset her jaw and turned to the guy once more. It was time to play her trump card. "I call father you no go." That seemed to have the desired effect. Still eyeing Jeff, the blond slowly dropped his guard and began to back away, offering only a weak parting offer to Kasumi.

"Hey, babe, me and T-bone are staying down at the Beachcomber. If you, like, change your mind-" He never finished as Nabiki shouted loud enough to attract the attention of everyone nearby.

"GO!" The blond guy's scrambling retreat became most undignified as he tripped over a couple of sunbathing girls, stumbled over a child's sand castle and switched to scampering on all fours until he could regain his balance.

"Honestly, Oneechan," Nabiki said with a exasperated voice as she dropped to the sand next to her sister's blanket. "You've got to stop trying to be nice to everyone you meet. It just encourages the weirdos."

Kasumi sighed and switched to her 'hurt puppy dog' look. "But Nabiki, I was just being polite. To be a good marriage prospect you must always be polite. It says so in my 'How To Be A Good Marriage Prospect' book."

Nabiki groaned and muttered how she was going to burn that stupid book when she got home. "Yes, you should be polite, Kasumi. Just be more careful who you are polite to. This is not Japan." Before Kasumi could agree, a scream from up the beach where their fathers were drew everyone's attention, including the police. Jeff and Nabiki exchanged worried looks before racing to the sound of the disturbance. Ranma-chan and Akane arrived seconds behind. Inside a ring of curious onlookers, Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo were being handcuffed by four large, serious-looking Honolulu police officers.

"Aw, Pop. What did you do this time?" Ranma-chan whined as she pushed her way through the crowd.

"It was nothing, Son. Really." Genma winced when the handcuffs snapped around his wrists. "Not so tight, you mean person."

"Then why are you being arrested?"

"I was just showing Sensei Tendo how to project one's ki energy," the elder Saotome protested.

"Were you showing him that stupid 'Reach of The Invisible Dragon' crap you learned in China?"

"What's that?" Akane asked, glancing between the humbled Genma and his irritated female son.

"You don't want to know," Ranma-chan grumbled.

"Yes, I do," Akane insisted.

"Pop bought a stupid book in a stupid tourist dive in stupid Shanghai," Ranma-chan said with a snarl. "It guaranteed to teach him all the secrets of the ancient Chinese martial arts masters."

"And?" Akane prompted, like she already knew where this was going.

"One of the techniques is projecting your ki so you can feel things beyond your reach."

Akane frowned at Genma and glanced at the obvious 'victim', a well-stuffed twenty-something blond who was glaring at Ranma's father while covering her oversized breasts with her arms.

"Your whole family are perverts," Akane grumbled.

"Father, how could you?" Kasumi scolded as she joined the group. Mr. Tendo shook his head and tried to look innocent.
Seeing her father in handcuffs, Nabiki spun around and grabbed Jeff by his shirt.

"Do something!" she growled.

"Do what? These are cops, not street thugs."

"Tell them to let Father go. You're rich. They'll do whatever you say."

"It doesn't work that way."

"Jeffrey!" all three Tendo girls yelled.

Jeff sighed. "Oh, all right. I'll talk to them." It wasn't as if he didn't want to help. He knew that to allow his future father-in-law to be arrested might not be the best idea if he ever expected to be welcome at the Tendo home in the future. He just wasn't certain police officers would listen to someone his age. Cautiously approaching the four officers, he tried to look older. Somehow, it came out like a famous trench coat-wearing TV detective.

"Ah, excuse me, officers." The four policemen turned to regard Jeff with suspicion. "I hate to interrupt your arrest because you're doing so well but I'm the host for these two gentlemen while they're in this country and I really hate to be a bother but could you tell me why they are being arrested?" He felt his left eye squint shut when he talked.

"This young lady," the first officer said indicating the tall, leggy blond with a figure to die for - or at least pay extra. "Has made a complaint against these two for..." He paused to read from his notepad. "... illegally placing their hands on a part of her body without permission."

"Sounds terrible," Jeff said while stroking his chin with a concerned look. "Would you mind if I asked a few questions? It won't take but a minute." When the officers just looked at each other, Jeff turned to the young lady. "Tell me, Miss. I can call you 'Miss', can't I? Could you tell me where you were when all this happened?"

The blond eyed him like he was nuts before wiggling a distance away. "Right here," she declared with certainty.

"Okay. Where were the Japanese gentlemen?"

"Where they are now,... I guess." The young lady suddenly got an embarrassed look on her face. "But they could have been closer."

Jeff turned to the officers who were now trading skeptical looks among themselves. "Now, I'm no expert on distances, officers, but it appears to me to be about twenty feet. Unless we're dealing with two extraordinary physical talents..." He left the rest to the officers' imaginations.

"Miss," the second officer said, turning to the blond. "Is it possible you were grabbed by someone else in the crowd?"

"Well..." She squirmed and bit her lower lip, glancing at the crowd. "I guess so. But they were laughing." She pointed to the fathers and pouted.

"They're Japanese," Jeff protested with a wave of his arms. "They're always laughing. Didn't you see 'Tora, Tora, Tora'?"

"Ah, Tora, Tora, Tora" the two fathers repeated with happy bows.

"We won that one."

"Shut up!" Nabiki yelled. "You're both in enough trouble."

"What do ya think?" the first officer asked his partner.

"Twenty feet away would be hard to prove in court and they are tourists. You remember what the Mayor said about the value of tourism?"

"Okay, you two, we'll forget about it this time." The officers began to remove the handcuffs. "But try to behave yourselves while in Hawaii." The fathers' exuberant Japanese 'thank-you's' were accompanied by more bows than an Akira Kurosawa film.

As the officers walked away, Jeff grimaced when he overheard the first part of their conversation.

"What's with the kid's 'Coloumbo' impersonation?"

"Beats me. Probably too much television."

When the families were alone, Akane stepped in front of both fathers with her hands on her hips. "I can't believe you two. We leave you alone on the beach for ten minutes and you find a way to get into trouble."

"But Daughter -"

"Not this time!" Akane yelled wagging her finger in her father's face. "You're just lucky Jeffrey was here. None of us speak good enough English to get you off so quickly. You could have spent Nabiki's wedding day in jail."

"Yes, Daughter. You're absolutely right. We behaved badly."

"Good. We're going back to the hotel now."

"But -"

"No buts!"

Ranma-chan shook her head slowly as she followed her father. "How could you use your ki for physical pleasure like that?"

"I was just demonstrating for my good friend -"

"Like you did in Okinawa?"

"What about Okinawa?" Akane interrupted, her eyes narrowed. Ranma-chan started to say something but stopped as if he thought better of it.

"Does this involve another fiancee?" Akane's look became almost as predatory as Nabiki's.

"Well, maybe. We're not sure. See, there was this priestess -"

Akane cut him off with a raised hand. "On second thought, I don't want to know." Shaking her head, she started for the hotel.

"You don't think it was MY fault, do you?" Ranma-chan protested as she scampered after Akane.

Akane jerked to a halt and glared at her gender-switched fianc . "Your father promises you to half the girls in the Far East and I'm supposed to think you have nothing to do with it?"

"That's right," Ranma-chan added hopefully. "It's all Pop's fault."

"Two words, Ranma: Get help," Akane growled as she turned away.

"Well, what would you know about it, ya tomboy."

Akane jerked to a halt. "The only thing keeping me from flattening you like an okonomiyaki right now is: one, it would remind me of someone I'd rather not think about and, two, it's too damned HOT!" The pair glared at each other for an uncomfortable moment.

"Chicken," Ranma-chan taunted, adding an exposed length of tongue.

"That does it!" Akane abruptly produced a large mallet and began waving it like a sword. Ranma-chan sprinted for the hotel with Akane's mallet pounding the sand only inches behind.

Jeff stepped between the fathers and took each by an arm. "Come on, guys. I'll buy you ice cream on the way."

"With nuts?" Genma asked with an eager expression.

"You're already nuts," Jeff muttered in English. "The whole family is nuts."

"What?" Soun blinked at Jeff's comments.

"I mean, of course you can have nuts. Whipped cream too, if you want," Jeff said in Japanese. As they were being led away, the two fathers grinned at each other like little kids.

On the outskirts of Honolulu, a truck thief was running for his life. Instead of material valuables, the stolen contained two very annoyed and very dangerous panda bears. As the thief fled, the pandas wandered off and the stage was set for the worst week for the Honolulu Police Department since Pearl Harbor was bombed.

---

That evening the bride and groom's families met for the first time. Both Jeff and Nabiki were apprehensive, but for different reasons.
Convening at a local country club, the families intermingled in a large private meeting room before segregating by gender.

Jeff's mother and the girls hit it off immediately. Nabiki, however, kept her distance. She was more than a little embarrassed by the memory of what happened at the embassy reception for the Japanese Prime Minister. She worried that Jeff's mother would remember as well. When Mrs. Lawrence gave no hint that the incident was of any importance, Nabiki's first inclination was to relax. She might have done just that except her strange warning sense began tingling, causing her to shudder. There was something about the woman that attracted and repelled her at the same time. She couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was but vowed to remain as much on her guard as she could.

The guys, on the other hand, were having a few problems. After a short round of introductions and general small talk, conversation stalled. An uncomfortable silence hung heavily in the air, punctuated only by the occasional notice of the weather or some other neutral subject. Even Ranma, gratefully back in his male form, seemed at a loss for words. Certain his father wasn't quite ready yet to know about Ranma's 'condition', Jeff refrained from bringing up the subject.
Instead, he scanned the room hoping to find something more interesting to talk about than the weather. Spotting a big-screen TV in the corner, he reached over and nudged his father.

"Maybe there's a game or something on TV," he suggested.

"Good idea," his father replied, bounding out of his chair, heading towards the TV. In a matter of moments, he had a replay of some long-forgotten football game tuned in. Soun and Genma leaned forward, absorbing everything on the screen. Between plays there came a flurry of questions from the fathers, most handled by Mr. Lawrence who seemed pleased to be acting as a guide to his favorite activity. Even Ranma appeared to take an interest.

Jeff pulled his father aside during a time out. "I thought American football has been shown in Japan for years. They act like this is the first time they've seen it."

"I thought so too," his father replied with a shrug. "Maybe they just never paid attention before." That sounded reasonable. The Tendos had just the one TV and that was usually tuned only to silly game shows, soap operas and the news. Jeff checked the two fathers again. There was something unsettling about the way they were staring at the TV.

"Great," he mumbled. "Now we're perverting another culture with our steroid-pumped, testosterone-laden modern gladiator games."

"Huh? What was that, Son?" his father asked, leaning over but keeping his eyes on the screen.

Jeff sighed. "Nothing, Dad. I'm going to the rest room." His father only nodded, as if he too were engrossed in the game to care where his son went. Jeff shook his head as he left the room. He knew talking to his father was almost impossible while the game was on - even one that was a taped rebroadcast. Leaving the rest room, Jeff glanced both ways. With no one watching, he figured he could sneak over to where the women had gathered to do a little eavesdropping. Maybe he could find out some interesting things about his fiancee.

Hugging a wall to remain out of sight, he crept close enough to overhear his mother and the girls. Instead of tales about Nabiki, he heard his mother telling stories about HIM. She told them about the time he got lost in Harrod's Department Store in London and ran from the staff when they tried to retrieve him. Then there was the time he fell asleep in the embassy laundry causing everyone to fear he'd been kidnapped. Worst of all was her version of the time just after they moved to Japan that he boarded the wrong train and ended up in Osaka.

Jeff groaned, this was even worse than the football game. He was about to leave when he heard Akane ask about the missing pandas she heard on the news. Kasumi expressed concern that the wild animals could be anywhere, even just outside. The others assured her the pandas were probably far away from populated areas looking for food and a place to sleep.

"I wouldn't worry, Kasumi," Nabiki said with a smug expression. "We should be used to dealing with pandas by now." She flinched when Akane kicked her foot with an added warning look. Jeff couldn't tell if his mother noticed or not. Her expression had not changed other than one raised eyebrow. Obviously, she didn't yet know about Genma Saotome and his 'condition'.

Kasumi must have caught the warning because she quickly changed the subject and asked what London was like. Jeff held his breath waiting for his mother to answer. She still looked like she wanted to ask what Nabiki meant. When she began her story about the sights of London, Jeff let out a heavy sigh. That was a close one. There was no telling what they'd do, if either of his parents suspected he was marrying into a family with strange curses on its in-laws. Imagine trying to explain to the relatives back home about being related to a pudgy, middle-aged martial artist who occasionally turned into a large, furry panda. He didn't even want to think what they'd say about Ranma.

Returning to the other men, Jeff discovered that only his father and Mr. Tendo were still there. "What happened to Ranma and Mr. Saotome?" he asked his father.

"They heard there was a Japanese water garden out back and decided to see for themselves." His father never looked his way. The second half had started.

"I didn't know Ranma was interested in water gardens - Japanese or otherwise," Jeff said more to himself than his father. In fact, he was certain that Ranma, of all people, would most likely avoid such a body of water. "I better check this out."

Outside in the garden, Ranma frowned at all the water. Despite the comforting sounds of flowing waterfalls, he was anything but soothed. It wasn't just his proximity to curse-triggering water, either. He got the uncomfortable feeling his father was about to pull one of his famous 'training-is-a-24-hour-a-day-job' routines. He was right. When the elder Saotome attacked, it was all Ranma could do to avoid getting whacked into the biggest pond.

"Knock it off, Pop! We might break something." He ducked under his father's jump-kick and leaned away from the follow-up strike at his head.

"You can't choose when an opponent will strike, Ranma," his father growled. "Defend yourself!" When his father attacked again, Ranma retreated - straight up a nearby palm tree. He flipped backwards off the tree less than a second before Genma's kick cut its trunk in half.

Landing in a crouch, Ranma watched in horror as the tree toppled into one of the ponds. "Now you've done it! I'll bet that was expensive."

"Nonsense. It's only a palm tree. Hawaii is full of them." Before Ranma could protest, his father sprang towards another tree. Using it as a springboard, he launched himself across the garden, ricocheting off the country club wall, then off a statue, until finally streaking towards Ranma like a fat heat-seeking missile.
With a look of disdain, the boy waited until his father was only a few feet away before calmly stepping aside, displacing his body sufficiently to cause Genma to totally miss his target.

Unfortunately, just downrange from Ranma, was a truly enormous koi pond. His father couldn't miss. A loud splash announced Genma Saotome's touch down, his rotund body sinking like the Titanic in three feet of water. Naturally, it was just cold enough to trigger his curse. So the panda that came out was less than happy.

"What's the matter, Pop?" Ranma chided as his father waded through the pond. "Gettin' slow?" The wet, annoyed-looking panda 'harumped' his answer and took a step towards dry land. The algae-covered bottom caused Genma-panda's clawed feet to slip. Wildly waving his furry arms, Genma did a belly flop, splashing water everywhere, including on a startled Ranma. The boy's transformation was both immediate and unfortunate. Immediate in that Ranma now looked like a drowned female Chinese street urchin. Unfortunate because the commotion attracted the snooty club manager.

"What are YOU doing here?" the club manager demanded as he came stomping into the garden. "This club is for members and their guests only."
Ranma scoured his mind for any useful phrase he could remember from the English classes he used to sleep through in high school.

In desperation, he tried the first thing that popped into his head: "Good Evening, Mister Brown."

"Good evening, my aunt's fanny, young lady," the manager growled as he started towards the nervous Ranma. He only got three steps from the door before jerking to a halt at the sight of a dripping wet panda emerging from the koi pond directly behind Ranma. The man's eyes grew wide as he froze in place, his mouth working but nothing coming out.

Unfortunately, Genma-panda decided to try and explain the situation. All that accomplished was to make growling sounds that the manager interpreted as threatening. Arms and legs all seemed to be working on their own as the man scrambled back into the dining room screaming like a Hawaiian Paul Revere: "The pandas are here! The pandas are here! Run for your lives!"

Jeff was just coming through the dining room when he collided with a panic-stricken club manager who was screaming something about killer pandas loose on the club grounds. Scrambling to his feet, Jeff bolted out the door to find the garden empty. The only clue that Ranma and Mr. Saotome had been there were a fresh set of wet panda tracks leading out onto the golf course.

"This is not good," he mumbled while quickly retreating back into the club. By now, the news about wild pandas rampaging outside had swept through the clubhouse like a wildfire. Jeff's parents, concerned for the safety of their guests, kept trying to gather the girls together for their protection. The girls, however,
understood exactly what was going on.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" Akane yelled in Japanese at no one in particular. "I knew those two would do something like this!"

"Maybe they really are the escaped pandas," Kasumi gasped, clutching her hands together in front of her.

Nabiki grabbed Jeff and hauled him off to a quiet corner. "Is it really the escaped pandas or did 'you-know-who' do something stupid?" she demanded.

"How should I know?" Jeff tried to protest. "Ranma and his dad went outside and the next thing I know, the club manager is screaming about wild pandas on the rampage."

"We've got to find them," she insisted.

"Are you nuts?" Jeff argued. "It's dark out there. What if it really is the escaped pandas? Can you tell Mr. Saotome from a real panda?"

"Now that you mention it..." she started, acting as if unsure of the proper course of action.

"What about Mr. Saotome?" Jeff's mother asked as she approached the pair.

"Oh... uh... Mr. Saotome wasn't feeling well and... uh... he and Ranma took a cab back to the hotel," Jeff lied. All the while he heard a voice in his head: 'You can fool all of the people some of the time, and you could fool some of the people all of the time, but YOU CAN'T FOOL MOM.'
Obviously, the voice was right. Anne Lawrence gave her son a look that suggested he better come clean - or else. Jeff swallowed hard.

"Anne, I think it best we get our guests back to the hotel," Jeff's father said as he rushed by, heading for the front doors.

"Good idea, Dad," Jeff replied. "Mom, I think he's right. We need to see to the welfare of our guests. After all, we ARE responsible for them."

With a skeptical frown, Anne Lawrence nodded slowly. "Very well. I trust you will be responsible for Ranma and his father?" she asked with an even more skeptical expression.

"Uh, sure," Jeff replied with a forced chuckle. "No problem." Still giving Jeff a look of warning, his mother herded Nabiki and the girls out to their waiting van.

"What was that all about, Son?" Jeff's father asked.

"Dad, do you know what an aquatransexual is?"

"No, I don't. Is that something you're thinking about becoming?"

Jeff rolled his head to the side, regarding his father with a pained expression. "Remind me someday to tell you a funny story about Jusenkyo."

---

Out on the golf course, a short, red-headed girl and a large panda were running for cover. Amazing how little 'cover' there is on a golf course when you're not hitting a golf ball.
By the sand trap on the tenth hole, Ranma-chan had lost sight of her father when she veered towards a collection of houses lining the course. Stumbling through some bushes, she emerged in the back yard of an exclusive residential neighborhood.

"Okay, Ranma," she muttered to herself as she slowed to a walk. "All I gotta do is sneak back to the van and hide behind the seats. Akane will take care of me until we get back to the hotel." Flood lights from the nearest house flashed on, illuminating Ranma-chan and the entire back yard. Caught in the open, she bolted for a nearby yard that was dark and surrounded by a six- foot-high privacy fence. Clearing the fence in a single bound, she discovered why the fence was there.
Waiting for her to land were three large German Shepherds, each with a nasty disposition about red-headed girls jumping into their yard uninvited.

Using a technique learned long ago, Ranma-chan bounced from dog head to dog head, his feet never harming the dogs but also never allowing their snapping jaws a clean bite. Having never touched the ground once, she cleared the fence on the far side of the yard with a final bound. The three dogs simultaneously collided with the wood fence and promptly went berserk in their frustration. Landing hard before rolling to a stop against a wooden swing set, her shirt caught on something and was torn half off. As more backyard lights came on to the sound of three dogs angrily barking, she spied a small pup tent nearby and dove in.

Two 10-year old boys in their sleeping bags were suddenly awakened by a semi-topless red head girl landing at their feet. They yelled. The red-head yelled. Flashlights lit the tent's interior.

"Cool!" the first kid gasped. Both boys stared at the twin results of a Jusenkyo curse.

"Hentai!" the red-head yelled. Pulling shut her torn shirt, she scrambled out of the tent.

"Hen what?" the first kid asked his tent mate.

"Beats me. Maybe she was looking for chickens?" his friend replied. "Can I spend tomorrow night here? Maybe, she'll come back."

"Cool! I'll bring my camera."

Further up the street, Genma had his own problems. Having lost his son somewhere on the tenth fairway, he decided to try escaping through the bushes that lined the golf course. Exploding through the obstructions like a large, furry running back, he struck paydirt on his first attempt. There, in an unfenced yard, was a bubbling pool of salvation; an unused hot tub.

The back yard was totally dark, only the underwater lights of the tub providing a guide. He slowed just enough to do a little victory dance in the yard before heading towards the tub. All he needed was a few seconds in the hot water and he could sneak back to the country club, his appearance a little damp but otherwise unremarkable. Of course, his lack of clothes might be difficult to explain but he figured he could work that out later. He had just reached the small deck where the hot tub sat, when a light went on and a woman wearing only the bottom half of the thinnest bikini he'd ever seen came giggling out of the house.

"I'll wait for you in the tub, honey," she called over her shoulder before scampering towards the tub. Two thirds the way there, she collided with something large and furry. Bouncing off, she froze, her eyes wide and mouth agape. Genma, being within three feet of an almost naked woman had a completely different reaction. Seconds seemed like hours as the woman saw her life pass before her eyes. Genma saw something entirely different. He made a mistake trying to grin. Unfortunately, on a panda, a grin looks more like a snarl.

---

The woman screamed louder than an air raid siren and scrambled for safety of her house. Genma did a quick triple take between the hysterical woman and the hot tub. No time. He had to get away. With a woof of irritation, he turned and beat a four-footed retreat back the way he had come. Behind him, more backyard lights flashed on. Dogs were barking, people were yelling, and the lady was still screaming as she yanked on an apparently locked door. All things considered, the dark golf course was looking pretty good right now.

Ranma-chan had just escaped a backyard light problem of her own when she ducked around a small storage shed, over a chain link fence and into some thick bushes. In the bushes, she ran smack into something warm, furry and familiar.

"Oh, it's you, Pop," she gasped while patting the sitting panda on its leg. "Good thing I found you. We gotta get out of here." The panda just sat and stared.

"What's the matter with you?" she yelled. "We can't let them catch us like this. Come on." She grabbed the panda's front paw and tugged it towards the golf course. The panda, apparently having had enough of the conversation, smacked Ranma-chan up the side of her head, rolling her clear of the bushes.

"Still mad, huh," she said. "Well, I can take you, no matter what form you're in." With that, began one of the strangest fights Ranma had ever been in. Repeatedly, she struck the panda and just as repeatedly, she was cuffed about. Her father's 'new technique' was something she had never seen before.
"You've been holding out on me," she growled, dodging a furious series of swipes from the panda's sharp claws. "What's this technique called? The Wacky Panda?"

But the panda was in no mood for further discussion. Baring its fangs, it attacked. Two more dodges and Ranma-chan delivered a knockout blow. Gasping for breath and hearing police cars approaching, she suddenly realized what she had done. She could still escape but her father would have to be left behind.
"Sorry, Pop. But it's your own fault," she said before sprinting towards the dark golf course.

The police, backed by anxious zookeepers armed with tranquilizer guns, swarmed the neighborhood. They quickly found the unconscious panda and bound it for transport back to the zoo. A shout from further up the street drew their attention to a second panda running on two legs towards their position.

"Damnedest thing I've ever seen," one police officer said. "I didn't know pandas ran on two legs."

"Don't matter," a zookeeper said as he spit out some chewing tobacco and raised his tranquilizer gun. "We"ll drop him before he causes any more mischief."
The panda had other ideas.

"Will you look at that?" the officer said. "He looks like he's trying to surrender."

"Naw," the zookeeper replied, taking careful aim. "Bears do that just before they attack."

Genma, his front paws still raised, felt the first dart pierce his leg. What was wrong with these people? Didn't they recognize someone surrendering when they saw him? Stupid Americans and their guns. He spun around and dropped to all fours. Before he could run, a second dart struck in his rump and the world began to get fuzzy. With pleasant images of the woman at the hot tub in his mind, he wobbled for a moment before collapsing on the soft grass of the tenth fairway.

*****#####*****

---

Tatewaki Kuno was in a bad mood by the time he reached the expensive hotel he had picked from a travel brochure. It was already dark. He had spent almost the entire day trying to convince the authorities that he and his crazy sister weren't international terrorists. It was all his sister's fault anyway; she and her lethal assortment of rhythmic gymnastics equipment. The only thing he wanted now was a hot bath and a soft bed.

Shoving a couple of young people wearing Jackie Chan t-shirts out of his way, he stomped into the hotel, leaving his sister and all the luggage behind. As far as he was concerned, she could get her own junk inside. He'd had enough of her trinkets. Casting only a brief glance back her way, long enough to see her calmly directing members of the hotel staff loading her luggage onto carts, he paused a few feet inside the doors and waited. A few moments later, Kodachi led her little procession inside. Like a movie star, she strutted past her brother, slowing only to trace a seductive finger across her brother's firm jawline. Kuno slapped at the hand in disgust before he elbowed his way past her.

At the front desk, he glared at a clerk who was sorting mail. "If you don't mind..," he said in his most commanding voice. "My sister and I would like two of your finest rooms, and be quick about it." Folding his arms, he assumed a posture he knew looked every inch the samurai he believed himself to be.

Unfortunately, the desk clerk didn't understand a word of Japanese. He just blinked at Kuno. "A moment, please. I'll get the night manager," he said in English before disappearing into a back room.

"Brother, you obviously don't command the respect you deserve in this establishment," Kodachi said fingering the only weapon she was able to salvage from the airport authorities; her ribbon. "Perhaps, I should try."

"Fear not, my sweet-but-brain-damaged sibling," Kuno crowed, turning to face his sister. "For I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall deal with these common innkeepers and, rest assured, they will rue the day they crossed me."

"May I be of assistance?" a deep voice behind him said in perfect Japanese.

"Of course, you moron..." Kuno's voice faded away when he turned back around and got a look at who was speaking. He swallowed hard at the sight of the biggest Asian man he'd ever seen outside a sumo ring. The man was more than just bulk. Towering over the smaller Kuno, he appeared to have muscles on top of his muscles. "I... I... would like a room... or two...please."

"Well, we're quite full right now," the night manager said looking at a computer screen behind the counter. "Do you have a reservation, sir?"

"I, Tatewaki Kuno, needn't bother with such things," Kuno said resuming his arrogant posture. "There is always room at the inn for a Kuno. The penthouse suite, perhaps."

"Unfortunately, all the suites are booked, sir," the manager said with a chuckle. "Tourist season, I'm afraid. We only have a single room with two beds."

"A common room?" Kuno gasped at the suggestion.

"I'm sorry, sir. That's all we have left."

"I don't believe this," Kodachi theatrically moaned.

"Is this your wife?" the night manager asked Kuno, surveying Kodachi with a look that bordered on disbelief.

"My sister!"

"My condolences." One could almost see tiny puffs of smoke shoot out of Kuno's ears as he attempted to form in his mind an appropriate riposte. His sister, however, wanted to get a room before morning.

"We'll take whatever you have, thank you," she said in a syrupy voice as she handed the night manager her credit card.

"Very well, Miss." The manager finished registering the odd couple and handed them card-keys to their room. "One room, two beds. Enjoy your stay." Kuno snatched his key-card from the manager and turned to glare at the unfortunate bell boy, who was still struggling with the mountain of Kuno luggage. The young man grimaced as if he suspected there wasn't going to be much of a tip tonight.

Kodachi demurely accepted her key-card and smiled at the manager. "You have to forgive him. He's a little stressed tonight. You see, we came all the way from Japan to stop a wedding."

"You don't say," the manager replied with a hint of skepticism in his voice.

"Oh, yes." Kodachi smoothed her light sun dress, making certain he could see she wasn't wearing a bra underneath. It was sometimes so much fun to tease. "My poor brother's girl has been stolen by some terrible young man. You can see how distressed he is about it." She paused pensively before a sudden thought occurred to her. "Oh, I understand the bride is still under the legal age in this country. Do you suppose the authorities would be interested in that?"

"Are you coming?" her brother growled.

"He's so immature," she replied to the manager with a light sigh. "You can see why the girl is perfect for him." The manager was about to say something but decided he didn't need the trouble. Instead, he just smiled and held out a hand, indicating the elevators.

"See, brother, if you're nice to people, you can get anything you want," Kodachi chided as she passed him on her way to the elevators. Kuno wasn't listening. He was too busy herding the poor bell boy and growling about having to share a room with the Black Rose of Insanity.

The Kunos weren't in the elevator two minutes when the Tendos and Jeff returned. Avoiding the few Jackie Chan fans that had continued their faithful vigil out front, Akane broke away from her family and scampered up to the front desk. Struggling with the right words in English, she asked the towering man behind the desk if either Ranma Saotome or a shorter red-haired girl had come in.

The night manager, having a soft spot for damsels in distress, quickly checked with the rest of the staff. No one had seen either. With great deference he personally assured her that they would all keep a look out for both. Disappointed but grateful for the manager's help, Akane thanked him before joining her family and Jeff in the elevator. While everyone else talked excitedly about the evening, Akane brooded in the corner.

When the elevator doors opened, Akane lagged behind. She hesitated a moment before following Kasumi to her room. As she opened the door to her room, Kasumi was only slightly surprised to find her younger sister standing behind her. With her head down and digging a toe of her shoe in the hard carpet, Akane looked miserable.

"Akane? Is there something wrong?" she asked with a motherly expression. Without a word, Akane slipped past and entered her sister's room. Inside, she began pacing between the door and the window that overlooked the Pacific Ocean. Figuring her sister would eventually get to the reason for this visit, Kasumi calmly sat on the end of her bed and smoothed out her skirt. "It was a lovely evening with Jeff's parents, wasn't it?" she noted with a wistful smile.

"Hai, Oneechan," Akane said, pausing to look out the window. "I really like his mother. He's very lucky to have a mother like her."

"Yes, in many ways she reminds me of our mother." Kasumi was a master of small talk. She had to be. It said so in her 'How to Be a Perfect Hostess' book.

With a flap of her arms, Akane suddenly sighed. "I wonder what happened to Ranma. I... I hope he's all right." Kasumi smiled to herself. She, alone, knew how much the two really felt about each other and attributed their bickering to the fact they were still little more than children. In time, she reasoned, they would understand and nature would take its course. Maybe, Akane was finally beginning to realize it.

"I'm sure he's fine, Akane," she said in a motherly way. "He's a big boy and can take care of himself."

"I know," Akane said as she turned to face her sister. "It's just he doesn't speak enough of the language to even ask where a toilet is. If I hadn't let him copy off my test papers in English class, he would have failed for sure."

Kasumi looked at Akane for several seconds. "There are many people in Hawaii who speak Japanese. He's sure to find one sooner or later and they'll direct him back to the hotel."

"Oneechan," Akane began with an embarrassed expression. "When he first disappeared, I was angry. All I could think of was how he was screwing up our trip to Hawaii. Then, on the way back here, I began to think just what my life would be without him. What if he never came back?" Akane paused and swallowed hard with a look of resignation. "I guess, I really do care about him."

"I always thought so," Kasumi said matter-of-factly.

Akane blinked a couple of times at her sister before looking down at the floor and smiling. "Just don't let him know."

"Not a word." The sisters hugged and Akane quietly returned to her own room. Closing the door, Kasumi leaned against it and sighed. Casting a look at the ceiling, she shook her head.

"Mother, if you don't sort those two out pretty soon, they'll drive me crazy." She frowned at the answer. "Stop laughing, Mother. It's not funny."

Down the hall, Nabiki and Jeff were working out a few things of their own. As she unlocked the door to her room, Jeff's arms surrounded her slim waist. She felt his firm body press against hers but resisted her instinct to let him continue.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" she asked with mock sternness.

"Well... I just thought that since we'll be married in a few days anyway...," Jeff muttered in her ear as he gently nuzzled the nape of her neck. Nabiki felt a shiver of excitement at his attention. Pressing back, she could tell what he wanted and liked the feeling. The invitation was more than appealing, she'd dreamed about just such a situation many times over the last year and fulfillment of those dreams was only a few steps away. But she forced herself to remember that now was neither the time nor the place. There was too much going on and too many family members were close by. Besides, as she once told him, she had her reputation to protect.

Carefully, she reached down, took hold of his thumbs and easily peeled herself free. Turning to face her fianc , she regarded him with a serious expression. "I have only three words for you: After - The - Wedding." Her words and determined expression worked. Jeff nodded and turned to leave. She knew he was in distress but couldn't help it. Besides, another night of suffering in anticipation would be good for him. Of course, a little 'extra' anticipation could make the wedding night one to remember.

Her hand shot out and grabbed his arm. Pulling him into a passionate embrace, she kissed him with all the desire she'd built up over the last year - her hand lovingly wandering down to stroke his tight buttocks. When he began to respond, she broke the kiss and gently pushed him away. Stepping into her room until only her head was showing, she flashed her most mischievous smile.

"Cold shower?" he gasped with raised eyebrows.

"Cold shower," she replied before closing the door.

"Well, It could be worse," he muttered walking down the hall towards the elevators. "Cold water could activate a really rotten curse like Ranma's." Ranma. He'd almost forgotten about the poor fellow. "I wonder whatever happened to him," he said to no one in particular while pressing the 'up' elevator button. He caught sight of a tall, rough-looking hotel maid, pushing a housekeeping cart towards him.

Odd, he thought, maids don't usually work late at night. The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside, pressing the button for his floor. As the doors closed, he heard two loud 'thumps'. Thinking it was the maid trying to catch the elevator, he quickly punched the 'Door Open' button but was too late. The elevator had already started its ascent. "Sorry, babe," he said to himself with a chuckle. "You'll just have to catch the next one."

The maid snapped her fingers in disgust at missing such an easy target. Two wicked-looking daggers still quivered in the closed elevator doors as she abandoned her cart and scampered for the stairs.

Ranma-chan slowly wandered the streets of downtown Honolulu, slipping quietly from shadow to shadow. Every time a car passed, she melted back into the darkness and held her breath. Peering out from her hiding place, she cursed herself for not paying better attention in the van on the way out. She didn't recognize any of the buildings. It didn't even look like an area where the hotel would be located. Most of the buildings were rundown-looking. Certainly not like the bright, open area he remembered about the hotel.

Knowing he wasn't going to find it hiding in the shadows, she sighed and started again down the street. Just clearing the pool of light from a downtown gas station, her world was suddenly illuminated by a powerful spotlight. Shielding her eyes, she froze while frantically looking for an escape.
With flashing lights, a Honolulu Police car pulled over to the curb and one of its officers stepped out.

Holding his flashlight on Ranma-chan, he asked: "Miss, would you come over here for a moment, please." Ranma-chan fought a wave of panic. She was alone, with no passport or other identification, wearing torn and dirty clothes and couldn't understand a word the police officer was saying. His gestures, however, said all she needed to know. He wanted her to come closer. She'd heard stories back in Japan of what police in other countries were like. It was an experience to be missed.

Besides, didn't they try to arrest her father and Sensei Tendo this morning? Only the intervention of Jeff saved them from a jail cell and Jeff was certainly not available here and now. Fearing what would happen to her in the hands of the American police at night, the choice was obvious. Without warning, she bolted towards an alley just twenty meters away. Behind her, she heard the officer shout and the squad car's squealing tires as it began its pursuit. She easily reached the alley and turned quickly into its welcoming darkness. Passing dumpsters and trash cans, she ran with increasing fear. She could hear the pursuing foot officer's steps echoing off the buildings and the revving engine of the squad car not far behind. The pounding of her heart matched her rapid strides as she dashed for freedom.

The combined lights of the pursuing car and the officer's flashlight showed an escape route. Ahead lay a delivery truck blocking the alley. Next to it was a parked car. With a single bound, Ranma-chan ran up the car's hood, jumped onto the top of the delivery truck and then onto the roof of the nearest building. She heard the police officer trying to duplicate her feat. His cries of pain indicated he landed short of the truck echoed down the alley.

"Damn!" the foot officer yelled as he punched the hood of the car. "Call it in, Fred. We've got a runner." The officer in the squad car put in the radio call while slamming the vehicle into reverse. Its tires squealing, the squad car shot back out into the street. As his partner worked his way carefully around the parked truck, the car sped off down the street and rounded the next corner. Sirens of other patrol cars could be heard off in the distance, closing the net on the fleeing red-head.

Ranma-chan ran with fluid ease across the flat roof tops. Only a little further and she'd be able to look for a way down. Sounds of sirens passed below, heading towards the alley, suggesting she'd made good her escape. Rounding a small brick structure on the last roof, she collided with two other bodies. The three collapsed in a heap.

"What the..," one of the bodies yelled.

"It's a girl!" the other shouted. Ranma-chan shook her head to clear it. Rolling over on the gravel roof, she sat up and tried to figure out where she was.

"Hey babe, what's your hurry," the first said. She felt a hand grab her wrist.

"You know, Red, I think we can forget the break-in. I feel more like a little entertainment. What do you say, honey?" the second asked with a greasy grin, his gaze roaming Ranma-chan's obvious charms.

"You don't mind doin' it on a roof top, do ya?" the red-haired burglar asked, licking his dirty lips. He slowly reeled in his intended prey.

By now the first patrol car had reached the end of the block and was shining its searchlight on the edge of the roof looking for any movement. The officer didn't have long to wait. Almost immediately, a body came flying over the edge of the second story roof and landed with a loud 'ooooof' on the hood of his car. With a groan, the red-headed burglar rolled off the hood and onto the ground directly in front of the car's headlights.

"Did you get her?" the first officer gasped as he rounded the other corner of the building.

"Yup. Old Red here musta fallen off the roof trying to get away," the second officer said as he knelt to examine the body on the ground. "Funny, I thought we were chasing a female."

"Male, female, what's the difference? We got him. That's all that counts."

Ranma-chan, still gasping for breath, finished with the second burglar. An ugly indentation in the brickwork marked where his body had slammed into a raised section of the building's outer wall. The burglar now lay unmoving on the hot tar and gravel roof. Despite having dispatched a pair of would-be rapists, Ranma-chan still feared capture. The police were still milling about below. Retracing her steps back the way she'd come, she silently bounded down the truck and out of the alley. All things considered, she had been lucky. The police were busy down the block but some were on the move again, their flashlights scanning the roof edge. Ducking into the gas station, she avoided the clerk and slipped quietly into the women's restroom.

"Gotta hide till the police go away," she mumbled, locking the door behind her. Looking across the bathroom, she saw hope. A sink! Hot water! She reveled in the thought of being normal once again. Turning both taps on high she waited for the warm liquid that would reverse her despicable curse. Disappointment soon engulfed her as neither tap would run hot. With tired disgust, she snapped the taps shut and slapped the cold porcelain surface with her open hands. Her head dropped to her chest in resignation. She was condemned to spending another night as a girl. Collapsing onto the filthy floor, she huddled under the sink and listened carefully for any sign of activity outside. She was still listening when exhaustion overtook her. Maybe in the daylight she could find her way back to the hotel. With her head resting on raised knees, Ranma-chan spent her first night in Hawaii on the dirty restroom floor of a downtown gas station.

The next day dawned as beautiful as Hawaii could provide. Fluffy white clouds dotted a deep blue sky that stretched to the far horizon. Both families gathered for the wedding rehearsal at a little church nestled on a palm covered hill overlooking the central plain of Oahu. Despite the pleasant surroundings, a vague feeling of unease gnawed at Jeff as he traded inane observations with his father. It wasn't a normal case of pre-wedding jitters. Like an odor that conjures a memory, something about the day or the location bothered him.

If Nabiki felt something similar, she hid it well. The distractions of organizing her own wedding, despite the help of Jeff's mother, seemed to fully occupy her attention. While she knew little about Western weddings, it didn't seem to matter. When it came to her wedding plans, what Nabiki wanted, Nabiki got. The result was an odd mixture of East and West that might have seemed out of place for anyone but a Tendo. Her sisters proved to be a mixed blessing. Kasumi willingly followed instructions and seemed to be enjoying the whole experience. Akane, however, constantly drifted off by herself, distracted and somber.

Jeffrey tried his best to revive Akane's sagging spirits. "I'm sure Ranma and Mr. Saotome are fine. I've notified the police and they've assured me they will be on the lookout for both of them," he said, holding up his cell phone. "And the hotel promised they would call me immediately, if either show up there."

"Jeffrey," Nabiki said as she paused on her way inside. "We can't have a proper rehearsal without Ranma. He's the best man."

"We'll just have to work around his absence and fill him in later when he shows up."

"IF he shows up," Akane mumbled. She looked terrible from lack of sleep. Her night had been spent pacing her room, her mood swinging between worry and anger. Almost hourly, she had called down to the main desk asking if there had been any word on Ranma. Through it all, Kasumi stayed with her, reassuring her sister that all would turn out okay. Still, Akane feared the worst. Under most conditions, she was certain that Ranma could take care of himself. His expertise in martial arts would see to that. But this was America and Americans carried guns. Scenes she had seen on TV of violent crime in America haunted her with images of her fiance bleeding to death in some dark corner of the city.

It was almost noon before the minister could get the wedding party in their places. All went well as could be expected with the best man missing, the maid of honor distracted, and the bride-to-be growling when things went wrong. More than once, sharp words were exchanged between the two younger sisters. Kasumi, who was standing in for their departed mother, often had to step between them to keep the peace. By the time the rehearsal was over, all parties concerned were convinced the wedding would be a disaster.

"Tendo-sensei, why don't you and the girls take the limo back to the hotel," Jeff suggested when the families gathered outside. "Nabiki and I need some time alone."

"I... I would rather stay here awhile," Akane said in a tiny voice while casting glances at the minister. While not the religious type, she was drowning in her own fears for Ranma and appeared desperate enough to seek comfort from a higher source. Kasumi agreed to stay with her sister. They would be ready to leave by the time the limo returned. As Jeff's parents had other plans and their own vehicle, that left only one person to transport. Soun Tendo gleefully bounded into the back seat of the limousine, reveling in the luxury he had all to himself. He looked only slightly out of place in his shorts and loud Hawaiian shirt. With a sigh of resignation, Jeff closed the door and gave the driver some final instructions.

As the limousine drove off, Jeff noticed a large puddle where one of the tires had been. Kneeling down, he touched the puddle and rubbed some of the liquid between his fingers. It wasn't oil. It was something else. Brake fluid? With alarm, he snapped a look towards the route the limo had just taken as the sickening sound of something big crashing into the trees cut through the morning air. He feared the worst as he led a wild scramble to the crash site. All the while his mind whirled with reasons for such sabotage. Why would someone try to kill his future father-in-law? What sort of enemies could he have in Hawaii?

To his relief, the accident wasn't as bad as it sounded. The car's front bumper and left front quarter panel were damaged but the car was intact and in no danger of falling further off the road. The driver was already examining the damage when the others reached him.

"Are you all right?" Jeff asked looking around for Mr. Tendo.

"No problem," the driver replied, pushing his hat back further on his head. "Gonna be in the shop for a while though."
Nabiki yanked open the rear door and looked in. There, in a heap on the floor, was her father, a smashed cigar in one hand and what was left of a bottle of white wine in the other.

"Does this mean the ride's over?" he asked in a dazed voice.

"Yes, Daddy. The ride's over," Nabiki replied. She helped her father out of the car, but not before he grabbed a handful of cigars from the humidor and an unbroken bottle of wine from the bar. He may not have gotten his exclusive limousine ride but he wasn't leaving empty handed.

After arranging for another limo, Jeff led Nabiki down a path through the trees until it opened out onto a little clearing with a beautiful view of the ocean.

"I'm sorry, Jeffrey," Nabiki said, as she released his hand. "I can't understand why everything seems to be going wrong." Harboring his own suspicions, he hesitated sharing them with Nabiki. With all she was going through with the wedding, the last thing she needed to worry about was his own feeling of unease.

"Just a run of bad luck. It won't last."

"I hope it ends soon," she said. "I don't want MY wedding ruined." Jeff tried to remind himself that her use of 'my' instead of 'our' was just the different way women looked at their wedding day. He watched her move gracefully towards a large palm that seemed to tower over the others.

"Everything will work out," he finally said.

"You sound like Kasumi," she chided.

Suppressing a chuckle, he shook his head. "I suppose. But she's probably right."

"I hope so. You know, I never thought much about getting married before I met you. I didn't realize how much work it involved."

"I'd say you're doing a pretty good job. After all, you took care of all the required paperwork." Jeff tried to be encouraging but grimaced at how clumsy he must have sounded.

"Your mother did that. Your mother did almost everything. I guess I should be grateful but I hate feeling so... so helpless." She made an exasperated gesture with her hands. "It's supposed to be MY wedding."

"It is and everyone knows that. They're just trying to help."

"Only your mother knows what a real wedding is supposed to be like," Nabiki said, looking out towards the horizon. "I've never even been to a Western wedding."

"I guess it's tough being the first sister to marry."

Nabiki sighed and nodded. "Especially with my sisters. One of which can't seem to keep her mind on her few simple tasks."

"Akane's just worried about Ranma." Jeff ran a hand through his hair. "It's only natural. After all, they are engaged."

Nabiki smiled and looked almost irritated. "It's not your typical engagement. It's one of those stupid arranged marriages. They were promised to each other by their fathers."

"Yeah, I think Ranma mentioned something about that," Jeff said, rubbing his chin. "Kinda rough on both of them."

"It's just... they're so young. They haven't had a chance to mature before having all this responsibility pushed on them." Nabiki leaned against a palm tree, her arms and legs crossed. The wind whipped her skirt and blew hair across her face as she frowned at the grass.

"We're not much older."

Nabiki smiled her crooked smile. "We're different and you know it." Taking her hands in his, he gently pulled her to him. As her head came to rest on his shoulder, he heard her sigh. Holding her in a protective embrace, he savored the feeling of her warm body against his.

"You ever wonder just what we are doing here?" she asked in a far away voice.

"I thought we were getting married."

"I mean besides that." She looked up at him, a quizzical expression on her face. "Since coming to Hawaii, I've had the oddest feeling that I'm here for something else as well. Something... something I can't explain."

"Quite so, little one," came a familiar voice. Jeff and Nabiki looked to the source and noticed a small, white-haired Japanese man dressed in a traditional yukata,
leaning on a polished seven foot tall shakujo staff, its six rings of enlightenment shining in the sunlight. His bushy mustache seemed to attempt flight as he smiled.

Jeff instantly recognized the man. "Master Sato. But how...?"

"That is not important, Jeff-san," the old man replied, his smile fading. "I am very sorry about being the bearer of such bad news but the elders have decreed this wedding must not take place."

For a moment, Jeff couldn't believe what he was hearing. After all he had gone through. Now, the person he most respected in the world was demanding the nuptials be terminated. His mind whirled with angry thoughts as he battled for an appropriate response.

"I know you won't understand this but the elders say she is not suitable, Jeff-san."

"Suitable?" Jeff yelled back at his Shinobi master. "What gives them the right to determine who is or is not suitable for me to marry?" Instinctively, he moved between Nabiki and the old man.

"You are the product of an ancient prophecy, my son," Master Sato said in a measured voice. "You must marry from within the clan in order to fulfill that prophecy."

"You never said anything about this before."

"As you will recall, you were twelve years old when you left my care in London. I did not feel the subject of marriage or prophecy was suitable for a person of such age." The old man's look remained hard and demanding. It was the same expression he wore whenever Jeffrey failed at some task or otherwise disappointed the old man.

"I don't care what you or these 'elders' say. I'm going to marry Nabiki with or without their blessings." Jeff enveloped Nabiki in his arms and glared at his clan master.

"Such insolence." Master Sato's voice was more of pity than chastisement. "I'm really sorry about this but the elders await you." He lowered his staff and mumbled his apologies while slowly oscillating the tip in the young couple's direction.

The sun seemed to dim before disappearing completely. The whole world went from colorful to dull, depressing black. An unearthly silence enveloped Nabiki. She could no longer feel the ground beneath her feet. When she tried to move, to escape the crazy old man before he could complete his spell, she found her arms and legs refused to function. Jeff's embrace had vanished with the light, leaving her with a feeling of cold isolation.

Suspended in a black void, unable to speak or move, she felt like a weightless puppet on a string. As if someone were pulling that string, her body began to float downward. The lack of sights or sounds created a sickening sense of disorientation. Moments later, a sudden flash of light caused her to flinch and turn her head away. A cold gust of air crawled up her spine. Bitter sweet odors that seemed more liquid than vapor slithered over her like the slimy tentacle of a sea monster. She gasped and tried to hug herself to stop her sudden trembling but her hands only twitched at her side as if they were controlled by someone else.

A second flash of light, this one brighter than the first, accompanied the sensation of her legs folding under her an instant before she touched down on something large and soft. With her eyes squeezed shut, she gasped for air as the light returned. This time the light didn't go away. When she tried to open her eyes again, she could only squint in the painfully bright luminescence. Centered in a pool of light, she found herself kneeling on a large, soft pillow, her head bowed and her arms limp at her side. She blinked a couple of times, trying to get them to focus again.

When they did, she was in a cave or some large underground cavern that seemed to have no beginning or end. Its walls were either too far away to be seen clearly or blended in with the same black color as the smooth floor underneath her. A series of flaming pots seemed to float in the air, forming a giant ring around her. Their light cast a series of constantly changing shadows across the floor that took on hideous forms of creatures seen only in nightmares. Turning her head slightly, she could make out Jeffrey a few meters away, kneeling much like herself on a large pillow, surrounded by a separate pool of light. If this was intended to intimidate her, it was certainly working.

"So, you are the young woman who would defy prophecy," came a deep male voice from darkness in front of her.

"She has captured the heart of our young clan member," boomed another male voice from the same general direction.

"I wonder," began a third. "What sorcery did she use to turn him away from his destiny?" There was a slight pause, as if the voices were considering the answers to their own questions. Nabiki looked at Jeff, silently pleading for guidance or at least reassurance. He remained still and strangely quiet.

"Perhaps she is truly in love with him." The second voice sounded almost conciliatory towards her. That was a good sign, she thought. Maybe she could just explain how things were and they would understand. She forced herself to swallow and licked her dry lips.

"It is possible," came the first voice. "They are both young." Yes, Nabiki thought. That was exactly it. She felt a glimmer of hope.

"Tell me, child, would you care for this man?" asked the first voice, like a grandfather quizzing a small child.

"Hai!" Nabiki answered, almost surprised that her voice worked at all. Perhaps after a few questions they would be satisfied and them both go. Yes, that was it. All she needed to do was answer a few simple questions and these crazy old men would be satisfied.

The second voice quickly followed with another question. "And would you protect him?"

"Hai!"

"Would you... give your life for him?" came the third voice, harsher than the others.

Before she could answer, Jeff momentarily broke through whatever held him silent. "NO!" His cry echoed throughout the chamber. "That's not fair..." A sharp wind passed her body, hissing like a snake. Jeff grimaced as it struck him, his head snapping backwards and his throat moving as if fighting an invisible hand. Beads of sweat ran down his face.

"The question is hers!" the third voice boomed, clearly irritated at Jeff's interruption. "Answer, child! Would you hold your life above his?" What kind of question was that? Nobody asked a prospective bride if she was willing to give up her life for her husband. Such a thing was barbaric, unworthy of even the primitive past of her people. She loved him, yes, but sacrificing her own life for him was something she never considered.

"She fails to answer," the third voice crowed before she could formulate a reasonable reply. "She cannot be the one. She is but a foolish child full of romantic dreams, a girl of no consequence." A flare of anger surged through her. How dare they demean her in such a way? Her anger felt like a burning on her chest. When the burning sensation grew, she looked down and gasped.

A dull amber spot showed through her blouse where her only piece of jewelry hung. The little amber-colored amulet she had worn since her mother died grew hotter with every passing second. With trembling fingers, she fumbled with the buttons to reach the glowing object as the first sketches of a plan formed. Pulling the amulet free, it glowed like a tiny star. She held it as far from her as she could with the tarnished silver chain still around her neck and presented it to the unseen voices. If these were truly Shinobi elders, it might just give her some protection.

"This is the mark of the Clan of the Cold Moon," she began, her voice small and frightened. "It belonged to my mother. I... I claim birthright in this clan," she shouted at the darkness still holding the tiny amulet like a talisman to ward off evil. She didn't know if it would protect her or not, but it was all she had left.
She had found the amulet in some of her late mother's things.

At first, she kept it because it looked valuable and she was determined to have it for herself. But it quickly took on another meaning when she had it examined by an expert on old Japanese jewelry. It bore an ancient clan marking, a Shinobi clan. For years afterwards, she searched in vain for information on the Cold Moon Clan. There was little to be found. There was little written beyond acknowledgment of their existence and vague references to a kunoichi clan, women shadow warriors, that existed four hundred years ago.

There was a long pause while Nabiki glanced back and forth at the darkness before her, wordlessly urging one of the elders to speak. "Take care, child," came the second voice. "What you claim is not what you think."

"This would change everything," the first voice said as if describing some valid newfound evidence.

"Yes, the clan mark is true. I had no idea they still survived," the second observed.

Nabiki's hopes grew with their observations. "Irrelevant! She is NOT of the blood!" the third insisted.

"But she carries the mark of -"

"It means nothing! The amulet is all that remains of that dishonored clan. Have you forgotten what they tried to do to our people? Have you forgotten why we hunted them to extermination? How do we even know it belongs to her?" The third voice seemed to rise in indignant anger.

The first voice tried to sound rational. "But if her mother -"

"She is dead! Just like all the other traitors. If this child is truly of that clan, we should kill her now and finish them once and for all." The voices faded in argument, as if the elders were retiring to some other chamber or part of the realm to debate Nabiki's claim. With their departure, she heard Jeff gasp and saw him pitch forward, coughing and gulping air. When his face turned to hers, he regarded her with a strange expression.

"You never told me of this," he gasped. She couldn't tell if he was angry or not.

"At first, I was afraid you wouldn't understand. Gaijin usually don't care about how the Shinobi fit into our culture," she admitted. "But when I found out about you, I wasn't sure how you would react. I was afraid of what it might do... to us."

Jeff just groaned and shook his head. "I'm not like them. I may act Shinobi and I might live Shinobi but I was not BORN Shinobi. I don't care about some stupid ancient vendetta. I love you, Nabiki. Nothing can change that." As their eyes met, she felt something powerful flow between them. Something inside her bound itself to him, like a . He didn't have to say a thing. She knew then whatever happened, they would be together.

When the room suddenly began to fade into darkness again. A stab a panic caused her to cry out. "I love you, Jeffrey!"

"We shall see, Nabiki Tendo." The third voice echoed from the gathering darkness. "We shall see."

When her vision cleared, Nabiki found herself standing in a park, surrounded by playing children and mothers preparing their picnic meals. Turning slowly, she frowned at the familiarity of it all. The smells and sounds recalled memories of having been here before - long, long ago.

"Nabiki," came a small, insistent voice at her side accompanied by a hand tugging her skirt. "Nabiki, come with me. I want to find some duck eggs." A little girl, who looked exactly like Akane when she was five years-old, took her hand and started pulling her toward a small lake. "I'm gonna hatch the eggs and have baby ducks all my own."

"Nabiki, honey, don't be gone long. Your lunch will be ready soon." Nabiki froze at the sound of the woman's voice, jerking the younger girl to a stop. Scared even to breathe, she forced herself to turn toward the voice.

"Mother?"

"And try to keep little Akane out of the lake. I don't want to use all our drinking water again to clean her up," the woman said with a sigh as she knelt on the blanket and continued to unpack her picnic basket.

"Mother?" Nabiki asked again, a little louder this time.

"If you're not coming, I'll go by myself," Akane said with a pout as she shook her hand free and started towards the lake.

"What is it Nabiki?" asked the young girl next to her mother.

"Kasumi, I..." Nabiki drew a sharp breath as she suddenly realized she knew this place and these people. This was the park where her mother had taken them all for picnics. Judging by her sisters, she should be only six or seven years old. But that couldn't be right.

"What's the matter, dear?" her mother asked with a slight tilt of her head.

"I... I thought you died. Yes, you're dead. I'm sure of it." Nabiki held her head and tried to fit all this into something that made sense. Her usual brashness and conviction was gone with the uncertainty of what was real and what was illusion. As if to recapture the reality of the moment, she forced herself to remember the night her mother died with all its commotion and the overwhelming sadness. She remembered listening to all the mourners until she couldn't take it anymore.

Fleeing her home, she had escaped to the crawlspace under a neighbor's house where she could cry without being seen or heard. For hours she had pounded the dirt under the house with her fists trying to make the hurt go away. She hated everything and everyone. She hated her mother for leaving before she had a chance to say the things in her heart. She hated herself for not saying those things sooner. She even hated her sisters for the kind of relationship they had with their mother. The flood of memories included her mother's funeral and how she alone refused to cry, determined to show everyone she could take it, no matter how bad it was. She remembered her vow to never allow anyone to hurt her again. Did it all really happen? Was this really happening? What was this place?

"It's all quite simple," the woman said with a sigh. "In life, each of us must forge our own afterlife. We must pick that which has the most meaning to us; a place or a selection of people. When the time comes, we move on to inhabit that which we created. This is the afterlife I fashioned for myself." The woman turned to the girl kneeling next to her.

"Kasumi, would you go see to Akane? Try to keep her out of trouble, won't you?" Little Kasumi readily agreed and scampered off after her wayward younger sister.

A frown grew on Nabiki's face as a thought occurred to her. "Why am I not here?"

"But you are," her mother answered, retrieving some cups from her picnic basket.

"Where?"

"Right there," her mother replied, nodding at the spot where Nabiki stood. "When your spirit entered my world, the phantom that was you as a child disappeared. She will return once you've gone." Nabiki nodded. That certainly made sense - in a warped sort of way.

"I suppose we need to talk," her mother said in that irritating manner that she often used when she tried to discipline her middle daughter.

"Mother, why didn't you tell me about your Shinobi background?" Nabiki tried to take the initiative and guide the conversation in a direction she desired.

Her mother responded by staring at her for a few moments with eyes that seemed to look right through her before shaking her head. "Yes, I feared you would grow up this way. Much too direct for a proper Japanese woman. You'll never get a husband like that, daughter. You must learn to speak properly." All her mother's words accomplished was to trigger a flood of angry memories in Nabiki, each bringing back a different irritation she had with her. Be a proper lady. Learn to be deferential to men. Practice to become a good wife. All the things she used to swallow bitterly when her mother was alive. Desperately, she fought back a wave of anger.

"Mother, I've already got a fiance." Nabiki's voice had taken on an irritated edge, like that which she had used often with her mother. Cursing herself for issuing such a hostile answer, she felt her hands ball into fists, the urge growing to pound more dirt in frustration. After all these years, her most secret dream of speaking with her dead mother was coming true and all they could do was renew their arguing.

"Yes, but he's not Japanese, is he?" Again her mother was using that calm, condescending tone of voice that often caused Nabiki to want to run outside screaming.

"Mother..." Nabiki bit her tongue to keep from starting an argument. "The clan. I need to know about the clan." Her mother just sighed and paused for a few moments, looking past her middle daughter towards the lake. After a few moments, she shifted her gaze to take in Nabiki. Looking her daughter up and down, she smiled.

"You have grown well, my daughter. So tall and beautiful. I'm glad to hear you have found a husband." While this fed some long neglected need for her mother's approval, it only frustrated Nabiki more. Her mother was still the perfect model of a Japanese woman; indirect but firm. God, she hated that.

"Mother, please. I don't know just how much time I have here. Tell me about your relationship with this clan symbol." Nabiki held out the amulet she wore around her neck.

Her mother examined it carefully and smiled again. "I had almost forgotten about that. I haven't seen it since I was a child." She paused as if to caress a treasured memory. "It is the symbol of my parents mountain clan - my real parents."

"Your... your REAL parents?" Nabiki gasped, her legs feeling rubbery at the revelation. Her hands crept up to hold her head between them again. "But I thought you were born in Nerima."

Her mother sadly sighed at the picnic spread out in front of her. "You are correct but you were too young to understand the truth when I died. I intended on telling you when you were older. When I realized I would not live long enough, I asked your father to tell but all he could do when he saw me in the hospital was cry." She sighed again. "I was the youngest of seven children, born of a poor mountain family with Shinobi ties. The war with the Americans had just ended. We had so little food that when distant relatives in Tokyo asked for our help, my parents were agreeable to reducing the number of mouths they had to feed.

"Since the family in Tokyo were unknown to the other Shinobi clans, I was sent to live with them. The war had not been kind to them. They had lost both sons in combat and their only daughter to a bombing raid. Unable to have more children, they found their home and martial arts training center in danger of passing out of the family. "Despite the uncertainties of the era, I grew to love my new home and my new parents. I never saw my real mother or father in the years that passed. When I turned twenty, they matched me with a young man whose martial arts skills were considered sufficient to carry on the family tradition."
Her mother paused, staring off into space, a little smile creasing her face.

"You really did love him, didn't you?" Nabiki asked softly. She had never heard the story of how her mother came to be with her father. It had never really occurred to her to ask.

Her mother nodded with a modest blush. "And now you must prove your love for this Shinobi fiance of yours."

"You know?" Nabiki gasped, very much taken aback by the revelation. How much else did her mother know of her life? Did her mother know of all the dark things she had done for money? The thought suddenly left her feeling small and vulnerable. Her mother paused. A sharp grimace touched her face, as if she were struggling with something that she desperately wanted to say.

"We... we spirits of the afterlife know all of the past and the present. I know of Ranma and Akane, of sweet Kasumi and her Dr. Tofu. I even know of every woman that has since caught the eye of your father." She paused and smiled with a knowing smile. "It matters not. Eventually, I will ask his spirit to share this world and have an eternity to forgive him."

"And the future?" Nabiki asked, not really sure she wanted to know the answer.

"No one knows the future, Kitten." Kitten? She hadn't heard that since... Nabiki gulped. If she had any remaining doubts about this spirit, they vanished at the sound of the name only she and her mother knew.

"Mama," Nabiki paused, reaching out her hand to touch her mother's. It was as warm and alive as she remembered it. "Am I really a blood member of the Clan of the Cold Moon?"

"Yes, daughter," her mother answered, covering Nabiki's hand with her own. "You are clan bound but I fear such is more curse than comfort."

"Why?"

"That you must ask your Shinobi fiance. I can tell you no more." Nabiki felt her shoulders sag. Knowing her mother wasn't likely to elaborate once she had declared the issue closed, there wasn't much else left for her here. When she turned to leave, she took only a single step before hesitating. There was one thing she had always regretted not doing before. Turning back towards her mother, she smiled, almost ashamed to meet her mother's gaze, and said in a little girl voice:

"I love you, Mama."

"I know, Nabiki. You always had trouble expressing such things," her mother lamented with a satisfied expression. "But I knew your love was there." With a tilt of her head, her mother looked past her. "No matter what happens, I will always love you."

The scene began to fade into darkness. "Happens? What do you mean by 'happens'?" Nabiki called. For a few moments, all she could see was her mother's smiling face before it too began to fade. A faint voice came from the gathering void, like an echo in the wind. "

You are our last hope, Nabiki."

---

Nabiki had only begun to ponder her mother's warning when a new scene shimmered into being around her. The terrible surroundings drove from her every thought except survival. If where she had just come from was heaven, this place was, surely, the opposite. Precariously perched on a narrow ledge no more than a foot wide, she pressed herself against the rock face in fear. Her ledge ran the length of an enormous cavern. The wall she pressed against appeared to climb vertically from the ledge only to disappear far above. Below her, however, lay the real terror. Perhaps 50 feet beneath the ledge, an incandescently hot river of molten rock roared and hissed as it made its way towards an unseen terminus.

As she looked down, she could feel the heat beating against the soft skin of her face, screaming its malevolence with every pulse and wave. She quickly pushed back against the rough rock surface, her arms spread wide, her fingers frantically searching for places to grip. Her breath came in gasps as she tried to fight the acrid atmosphere for shreds of oxygen, only to be teased into giving up what she could find by coughing on the whiffs of poisonous fumes that haunted the area.
A small shower of rocks bounced off the ledge to her left. Slowly, she turned her head to where the ledge disappeared around a bend in the cavern wall only a few meters away. More dislodged rocks announced the appearance of a human hand as it explored, looking for a hand-hold. She held her breath waiting to see who, or what it belonged to. Moments seemed to pass with agonizing slowness as the hand became an arm and then, with a small grunt, Jeff Lawrence won his way around the corner.

"Jeffrey?" she gasped, trying to reach him with her closest hand. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know," he replied, his voice sounding as scared as she felt. He inched his way towards her. "One moment I was in the cave with the elders and the next I'm clinging to this ledge for dear life. What about you?"

Nabiki gulped and blinked back some sweat that had found its way into her eyes. "I was visiting my mother."

When Jeff muttered something about this being a strange place for a family reunion, an earth tremor made their ledge undulate like a serpent. Nabiki grabbed for Jeff's hand and pressed herself against the wall, while praying that she wouldn't lose her grip on either. When the tremor died away, she heard him sigh.

"We can't get out back that way." He indicated with his head the way behind him. "Let's try working farther along your direction. Maybe the ledge gets wider there." Anything was better than clinging to a few inches of ledge waiting for another earth tremor to shake them off. They began inching their way along the narrow ledge, stopping frequently to rest. Without saying as much, Nabiki admitted to herself that she was glad to see Jeff. It didn't lessen the danger but, at least, she wasn't facing it alone.

When they stopped to rest, she wondering if she should tell him of the meeting with her mother when a violent earth tremor shook the entire cavern. Rocks cracked, showering her with dirt and pebbles. More rumbles and her section of the ledge began to crumble away. When it collapsed completely, she screamed and frantically grabbed at thin air as she felt herself falling. Jeff's hand closed around her right wrist, halting her fall and slamming her body against the rough rock surface of the cavern wall. Looking up, she could see he had secured himself with a finger-hold in a small crack in the cavern wall. Dangling closer to the hissing flood, she grasped Jeff's arm with both hands while frantically kicking at the side of the cliff, searching for a toe-hold. With every attempt, she only dislodged more loose rocks and dirt.

"Hold on!" Jeff called with a grimace. She could see in his face the pain her dead weight was causing as he tried to pull her back to the ledge.

"Jeffrey?" she whimpered, her grip on his arm sliding. One of her shoes was knocked off her foot and plunged towards the molten river below. She watched in horror as it hit the surface of the stream and exploded into flames. The same fate awaited her should she be unable to regain the ledge. Jeff wasn't going to be able to hold on to her forever. Hoping for some salvation, she looked again at his face.

All she could see was his tear-stained cheeks and clenched teeth from the strain of holding on. It was obvious he couldn't pull her up. All he could do was delay the inevitable.A strange calmness swept over her like a cool breeze. If she continued to struggle, all she'd do was pull him in too. Maybe alone he would have a chance. With muttered apologies, she suddenly turned from grasping at his arm to violently twisting in an attempt to slip from his grasp.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he yelled, his face twisted in shock. "Are you crazy?" Nabiki stopped her struggling long enough to look into his clear blue eyes. Something in her expression must have said to him everything he needed to know.

"NO!" he yelled in desperation. "I won't let you do it!" He tried to readjust his grip on her wrist but their combined sweat made it impossible. All she could tell was that he had no intention of letting her go.

"I'm sorry, Jeffrey. I love you." Her voice sounded calm and rational, a sharp contrast to the renewed fury of her effort to slip free. Clawing his wrist with her free hand, bloody gouges left by her fingernails oozed and dripped blood down past her dangling form, heralding her eventual sacrifice to the molten river below. She could tell he was at the end of his endurance. His grip was loosening. In seconds, it would be all over.

Jeff too must have made his own decision. "Nabiki. I'm sorry..." His voice sounded tired but resolute. Without warning, he released his grip on the cave wall, sending them both tumbling towards the flaming river.

Nabiki could feel the heat build until a blinding flash assigned her to a cool darkness. For several minutes, she lay silently, eyes closed, feeling herself breathe.
Was she dead? No, she was breathing. If not dead, then where? The familiar smells of the original cavern and the cool smoothness of the cave floor, combined with the shooting pain in her right arm and shoulder assured her she was very much alive but left her depressed that she was again back where she had started. With a painful groan, her whole right side in agony when she tried to move, she rolled over to look at Jeff. He was again kneeling on the pillow, his head down and eyes closed as if asleep. His left arm hung limply by his side. Still visible on his wrist and hand were the bloody scratches she had made during her struggle. Swallowing hard, she tried to sit up. Grimacing at the pain in her arm, she finally made it to a sitting position. Looking around, she noted that nothing had changed. They were still alone and trapped. Her dismay was quickly replaced with indignant anger. Frustration, unlike any she'd felt before, rolled in her chest causing her to tremble and blink back her tears.

"You have done well," came the first voice from the darkness.

"You proved you were willing to die for our young clan member," the second observed as if impressed.

"But the prophecy -" started the third.

"...MEANS NOTHING!" Nabiki angrily struggled her feet. She had no idea what the elders were talking about but she was so angry now she didn't care. This had gone on long enough. "I, Nabiki Tendo, claim my birthright as an elder of the Clan of the Cold Moon. I no longer submit to your council. I am leaving - NOW!" She shuffled towards Jeffrey's form, her whole body shaking with rage. The elders remained strangely silent. Perhaps she had overplayed her hand. She certainly had no right to claim an equal position with the elders judging her but anger and frustration had pushed her beyond rational thought. All she wanted now was to get out of there.
She jerked to a halt when Master Sato suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Get out of my way, old man," she growled. "Jeffrey and I are leaving."

"I quite agree," he said, with a wave of his hand. Once again, darkness engulfed her. Disoriented, Nabiki lost her balance and fell against the venerable Shinobi master. He caught her before she could collapse on the floor and held her as a grandfather would hold a cherished granddaughter. At first she tried to wrench herself free but the pain in her arm reminded her of the foolishness of such a move. All she could do was close her eyes and endure whatever she had to until they reached their destination.

Moments later, they were back in the sun, exactly where they were before the first darkness took them to the elders. Kneeling on the ground next to her unconscious fiance with her forehead on the soft grass, Nabiki grimaced at the harsh brightness around her. Squeezing her eyes shut, she relied on the warmth on her back to reassure her they were indeed out of the mysterious cavern.
When she chanced a painful peek from her huddled position, she noticed Master Sato sitting calmly on a large rock nearby puffing on an old pipe. He appeared as if nothing at all had happened. Nabiki eyed him with cold suspicion as she reached out to touch Jeff's body.

"He will recover," Master Sato calmly said between puffs. "He has been trained by the best - namely me." He flashed a satisfied grin Nabiki's way. "Besides, he still has to marry Nabiki Tendo, clan daughter." Nabiki wasn't sure but got the feeling he was mocking her. She didn't like being mocked.

"What just happened? How much of that was real?" she asked trying to sit up, her weight settling over the calves of her legs.

"A wise man once said: 'The power of intention, guided by the altered perception that sees no obstruction, can create its own realities.'" He paused as if to catch Nabiki's reaction. "'Such seem to transcend the dictates of conventional natural laws.' In short, reality is that which you believe in strong enough."
Nabiki stared at the old Shinobi master with a mixture of loathing and respect. He was everything Jeff said he was. He was irritating, too.
"Nabiki Tendo," the old man said as he shifted positions to face her. "Your mother gave you more than life and a trinket to wear around your neck."

Nabiki's hand instinctively went to feel for the amulet bearing her clan crest. She wondered just what she had gotten herself into. She also began to wonder if Master Sato was reading her mind. "Did you ever wonder just why you were so successful in your business dealings?" Sato asked slyly.

"I was damned good, that's why." Her voice was a menacing growl as she tore a section of her skirt away, grimacing at the pain it caused her arm, not to mention the thought of destroying an expensive skirt. She started carefully wrapping Jeff's wounds.

"Actually, you had an unfair advantage over your business associates." The old man calmly assumed a traditional Shinobi position of meditation.

"What are you babbling about, old man?"

"A Shinobi woman can give only a part of her clan skills to each of her children. Only when a Shinobi man fathers those children can they achieve their full potential. At least, that's what we always believed." Nabiki stopped bandaging Jeff's hand and stared at the old man. Something in what he just said made perfect sense. She could remember being so in control at times it was as if she was pulling the other's strings like a puppet.

"That's right," the old man with a chuckle, confirming to her that he was somehow tapping into her mind. "You got the foresight that our people need to avoid traps and detect opponents weaknesses."

"And my sisters?" Nabiki cocked her head slightly.

"Your older sister got the power of loyalty and compassion; qualities that bind each of us to the clan. Your younger sister got the reflexes and determination that give us our power." He crossed his arms and closed his eyes in concentration. "You see? All three of you are special." He paused. "Possibly more special than any of you know. Still, it's a pity about the prophecy."

"What is this 'prophecy' you keep talking about?" Nabiki shifted her position, wincing at the pain it caused.

The old man took a deep breath and slowly let it out before answering. "Four hundred years ago a powerful Mikkyo monk, student of the great Saicho, took up temporary residence in a mountain cave not far from our village. He sought the enlightenment of our people's 'kuji-goshin-ho', our 'nine-syllable protection method'.

"One day, when women from the village were bringing the monk his rice, they discovered him gone and his cave sealed. Our people searched throughout our clan territories but all they ever found was his empty rice bowl and a small leather bag containing a single scroll. On that scroll was a prophecy in the monk's handwriting. It said great calamity would befall the Shinobi people. Many would die. Only the intervention of an outsider, a 'gaijin', would save us and our way of life. It went on to claim that only he who is of our protector's legacy and clan wed can open the monk's cave and bring peace where there was none."

Master Sato paused while Nabiki absorbed just what he had revealed. "It also hinted of a great secret buried inside the cave. Some believed the secret was something that would make one an invincible shadow warrior. Of course, I believe that is all nonsense." He paused again, this time with a faraway look. "Many tried to open the cave - all failed and paid with their lives. It was as if the spirits themselves were protecting the secret. So you see, little one, only he of the prophecy can ever hope to enter the cave."

"And that's where I come in." Nabiki maintained her distrustful look towards the old man. His story made sense but there was something about it that didn't feel right.

"Not so, little one. This should not concern you as you are not of our clan."

Her stomach knotted with the realization of just what was wrong with his 'prophecy.' "I hate to disagree, but were not the words: 'of clan wed'?" There was something odd about the wording of the prophecy, something that was out of place in the context Master Sato used it.

"What?" Master Sato stopped and regarded her with a strange expression.

"Don't you see? 'Of clan wed' it too vague. The words never mentioned from which clan he would wed. Just that he would wed one from a clan." Nabiki tiredly leaned forward as she spoke, her injured arm cradled in her lap.

Master Sato sat in silence for a few moments considering her words. A slow smile crept across his weathered face. "What clan did you claim birthright?"

"My mother's - the Clan of the Cold Moon."

There was a long pause as Master Sato fit all the pieces together. His smile spread until it filled his face. "Of course! Absolutely brilliant!" Master Sato shook his head and slapped a knee. "I don't understand why I didn't see it before."

"That's me all over; brilliant," Nabiki replied in a tired voice. Along with her arm, her neck and head now hurt. She just wanted now to take some aspirin and lay down somewhere.

"You were wise to conceal your clan heritage, little one. Otherwise, your husband-to-be would have been honor-bound to take your life."

"What?" Nabiki's eyes went wide with surprise, pain and fatigue instantly driven from her. "What are you talking about? I checked and found no feud between your clan and mine."

The old man just chuckled softly to himself. "The feud I speak of is over 400 years old and involves more than just our two clans. As I remember it, some member of your clan betrayed our people when she aided a powerful warlord in his efforts to subdue our ancestors. The loyalty of your clan for her actions drove the other clans to declare them outcasts among all Shinobi.

A war broke out and your entire clan were 'blood hunted', they were to be killed on sight. It meant the end of your people as a clan. I suspect your mother was sent to live with distant relatives for a better reason than just to help out family members in trouble. They were probably hiding a fertile female clan member among an outsider family to escape detection."

"Then... I'm also 'blood hunted'," Nabiki said vacantly, a trace of fear creeping into her voice. Realizing just what she had said and who she had said it to, she slowly started sliding away from the old Shinobi master.

"Perhaps, little one," Master Sato said thoughtfully, then as if catching Nabiki's movement, added: "You no longer have anything to fear from me. You are pledged in marriage to a clan member; my adopted son. This gives you complete protection from both our clans. We can't kill you because of the prophecy and I suspect you are safe from your own clan, ...the few that remain." The old man sounded almost sad at that. "Brilliant, isn't it? Your marriage will fulfill the prophecy to the letter. It opens the cave while bringing peace to your people."

"How?"

"Don't you see? By taking you as a wife, Jeff-san will be binding our two clans. You and your people will then be under our protection. The feud will be over, all will be forgiven. After 400 years, peace will be restored where there was none. All as predicted." He laughed.

"Prophecy?" Nabiki asked.

"Prophecy, little one," the old Shinobi master answered. "You are now more valuable than ever."

Jeff groaned softly and stirred. Turning away from Master Sato, Nabiki took Jeff's hand. "Once you are wed," the Shinobi master continued. "You must return to Japan as soon as possible. I do not wish to alarm you, but there will be those who would do you harm. Not everyone has agreed with my conferring upon young Jeffrey clan status. Some believe he is a mistake to be... corrected. We can better protect the two of you on our native soil." He looked around like a dog sniffing for danger. "This paradise can prove deceptive. I sense danger, both seen and unseen. Beware, little one."

"I will," Nabiki promised, then added: "Ojiisan"

Master Sato chuckled again. "Grandpa, huh? Just make sure I become a 'grandpa', little one. The future of your clan depends on it." Nabiki blushed at the suggestion and looked at Jeff's stirring form. They had never discussed children. Actually, she had never considered children of her own. She wasn't sure she liked the idea. Children put her off almost as much as old people.

She carelessly rocked over to lean on one arm and grimaced noticeably at the pain it caused.
"The powers of the elders can sometimes result in injuries, little one. You are in pain," the master said moving swiftly to her side. "There are certain pressure points right here," he said calmly as she felt his fingers press lightly under her right shoulder blade and near her spine. They seemed to vibrate slightly for a second, then the pressure was gone. Almost as if someone had flipped a switch, her pains disappeared.

Freely moving her arm, she tested the results of Master Sato's treatment. "Almost as good as Dr. Tofu."

"Well, I'm not sure just how long it will last," he said with a smile. "It is a technique shadow warriors use to temporarily ease their pain in the field. You will probably be stiff and sore tomorrow. Just take two aspirin and ring me in the morning."
Nabiki shot him a curious look through narrowed eyes. "A little English humor," he said defensively. "I never did get a handle on English humor." He chuckled again as his shakujo staff reappeared as if by magic. With a wave of his hand, he set off down the road, humming. Nabiki recognized the tune. The Beatles - Hard Day's Night? She thought how he must have spent entirely too much time in England.

"I heard that," he called from the road. "You must learn some mental discipline, little one. We will work on that after the wedding." He turned again and like a mist in the morning, slowly faded from sight.

Jeff woke with a jerk and frantically looked around.

"Easy," she cautioned as she helped him sit up.

"What happened?" he asked, looking around.

"What do you remember?"

"We were walking. Then we stopped." Jeff ran his hand over his head as if trying to sort out sights and sounds that scurried towards the dark corners of his mind like so many cockroaches. "The last thing I remember is holding you in my arms. After that..." He shook his head in frustration.

"Nothing else?"

Jeff hesitated as if some spark of memory was just out of reach. "No, nothing," he finally admitted, shaking his head. Nabiki frowned and bit her lower lip. Perhaps he was never intended to remember all they had been through. Why she could remember everything while he couldn't had to be the old man's doing. Maybe it was because the whole ordeal was her trial and not his.

"Why is my hand wrapped with parts of your skirt?" he asked, holding up his bandaged hand.

"You were..." Her voice fell away as Jeff unwound her crude bandage. Exposed to the bright Hawaiian sun, she saw that his hand had almost completely healed. Only four pink lines remained across the back of his hand.

"How do you suppose those got there?" he asked, blinking at the marks. She got an uneasy feeling about his rapid healing. How much was illusion and how much did she really experience? Looking over her shoulder towards the road, she got a sudden desire to see the old man again - if only to confirm the entire episode actually took place as she remembered it. Illusion, reality, it was all so confusing.

"I feel like I've been run over by a truck," he said with a groan as he tried to stand up.

Nabiki helped him to his feet. "Can you walk?"

Nodding, he took a few hesitant steps, twisting his shoulders and stretching his arms. "I must have fallen down or something. Probably hit my head," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Let's go back to the church," Nabiki suggested as she started to lead him back up the hill. Along the way, he handed her the scrap of bandage.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asked incredulously.

Jeff looked first at her skirt, then at her. "Sew it back on?" Nabiki shot him a 'You've-GOT-to-be-kidding' look.

"Maybe not," he sheepishly said, retrieving the strip and wrapping it around his neck. "How about a neck tie? Khaki is a good color for me." Nabiki started to chuckle at the absurdity of his suggestion. She didn't know why it struck her as funny. Laughter just felt better than crying in relief. Feeling like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she pondered how it didn't matter if everything was just an illusion or not. There would be time to sort it all out later. For now, all that mattered was they were both safe and their wedding day was only a few days away. Her laughter died away as she sagged against him,
allowing his arm to encircle her waist.

"You owe me a skirt," she said softly. "And I always collect."

---

*****#####*****
"Sister, dear." Kuno's irritated voice carried through the bathroom door. "I hope you aren't going to remain in there the entire morning. We have work to do, you know."

"Yes, my impetuous brother, but I must look good for my Ranma," Kodachi replied calmly. With a yawn, Kuno dropped onto his bed and scowled at the bathroom door. He couldn't believe how that woman cackled in her sleep. The thought of what sort of demented dreams she must have been having caused him to shudder.
Moments later, a perfectly attired and detailed Kodachi emerged from the bathroom, ready to start the hunt for her would-be boyfriend, Ranma. "Brother, dear," she said frowning at her brother's attire. "Surely, you're not going out dressed like that."

Kuno glanced down at his Bermuda shorts with knee socks. "And just what's wrong with my attire?"

"Well, for one thing, we're going to break up a wedding, not a boy scout camp out. I would suggest something more... dressy." With a heavy sigh, Kuno pulled out his suitcase. Rummaging through its contents, pausing occasionally to hold up various items for her approval, she finally picked out attire that suited her.
Minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom and stood for her inspection. Casually leafing through a phone book, Kodachi no longer cared what her brother was wearing.

"You know, sister dear," he said. "Having to spend a night sleeping in the same room with you will probably scar me for life."

"Oh I doubt it will do any lasting damage," she responded while idly looking through the yellow pages. "You're already completely insane."

"You do know, I despise you."

"That's one of your endearing qualities, my brother."

Figuring that bickering with his sister was getting him nowhere, Kuno changed the subject. "I don't suppose you've given any thought as to just how we are going to find the Saotome-Tendo wedding?"

"Actually, I have, my hopelessly romantic brother." She held up a morning edition of the local newspaper.

"And just where did you acquire this little guide to the local culture?"

"Some simpleton left it on the floor outside the door across the hall. As we have the greater need, I felt justified in taking it," she said with a yawn. It was obvious she wasn't used to getting up so early during a school vacation.

"You stole it," he corrected with a disgusted look.

"Such an ugly word, brother dear," Kodachi sniffed.

"Nevertheless, I have solved our problem. Inside this paper, is a listing of all the weddings taking place anywhere in the city."

"They publish such things in a public newspaper?" he gasped. "How vulgar these Americans be."

"In any case, we shall quickly know the location of the Saotome-Tendo wedding." Kodachi eagerly opened the paper and started scanning it page by page. Having attended a private Catholic girls school, her abilities at reading English were far better than her brother's. Minutes later, she flung the entire newspaper from her in disgust. "I can't believe it. Dozens of weddings and none for a Saotome or a Tendo."

"Perhaps, they were going to be married privately," Kuno suggested from his seat in front of the windows. Secretly, he was celebrating his sister's failure, in spite of the fact it left them no better off than before. "Could they have spelled the names wrong? We are dealing with journalists here, not the brightest life forms on Earth."

"Or maybe they have disguised their identities in an anagram or some other falsehood knowing just how many wish to stop their union." Kuno sighed. There she goes again. Once more slipping into her own brand of paranoia. To her, everyone had as twisted a mind as her own. That meant that all things were possible, even if they were ridiculous. While Kodachi busied herself with trying to manufacture an appropriate wedding announcement from those listed, Kuno casually rummaged through a small desk over by the windows.

"Sister, dear," he crowed holding up his discovery. "I believe I hold the solution in my hands." Kodachi cast him a wary look. In his hand, written in Japanese, was a hotel guide for the Japanese business traveler. She quickly replaced her wary look with one of pure skepticism.

"And just how will such a document assist us?" she asked sarcastically.

"Just observe and learn how a true 'Kuno' handles such things," he said smugly as he dialed the phone number listed on the guide's cover. Quickly a Japanese voice answered. "Yes, and ohayo to you as well. I'm Kuno Tatewaki, head of Kuno Industries of Nerima. I have need of your 'business traveler services'
listed in the hotel guide." Kodachi wrinkled her pretty nose at her brother's brazenness. "Yes, I wish for you to get me a list of all the weddings being held in this city for, say, the next week. What's that? Yes, I just need to know the day, the church and the time. Thank you." Hanging up the phone, Kuno arrogantly looked down his nose at his sister. She, however, was only shaking her head. "What?" he asked.

"You idiot," she sighed. "If we only get the name of a church and the time of a wedding, how will we know who's wedding is taking place?" Kuno blinked several times and stared at his scowling sister. She was right, of course, but there was no way he was going to acknowledge his mistake.

This was his plan and no stupid sister was going to derail it. "We will simply have to go to each and check on the wedding in progress."

"Fine!" she growled as she began tearing the listings of churches from the phone book.

"And just why are you defacing hotel property, sister dear?" he asked with crossed arms.

"Since you didn't see fit to ask for the addresses either, we will have to match up the names of the churches using this directory," she snapped. "Then, all we will have to do is get in a cab and point to the address we want to go to."

"I can see some of my brilliance has rubbed off on you, sister dear."

"Are you sure you can spare any?" she mumbled when he turned to look out of the window again.

---

It was late morning when a familiar black and red-clad figure stumbled into the hotel lobby. Looking like someone who had slept under a toilet, she drifted across the lobby towards the elevators. The room fell into hushed silence as she entered the first elevator car available and stared down anyone who tried to follow her. She had just experienced one of the worst nights of her life and was in no mood to suffer any delays getting to her room and a hot shower.

---

Nabiki and the girls chatted excitedly in the back of a limousine van as it wound its way through the morning airport traffic. Fulfilling her earlier promise to include Yuka and Sayuri in the wedding, Nabiki insisted on picking them up when they arrived. Nobody appeared to be concerned about having only a standard twelve passenger van for transport instead of a luxury stretch limo.

After what happened to the previous full-scale limousine, none of the local companies were willing to risk one of their custom-made vehicles to transport such obviously high-risk clients. For Nabiki, the previous day's experience still felt like something from a dream. Even after a good night's sleep, she was uncertain about how much really had happened. She refrained from sharing the incident with her sisters, being unsure if they would believe her. Jeffrey was no help as he couldn't remember a thing after leaving the church. In any case, until she figured out how much was real and what it all meant, she didn't see any reason to upset the others. Seeing her old high school associates again helped her forget.

While Yuka and Sayuri were delighted to participate in the wedding, their lives didn't include the same freedom as Nabiki. Unlike their former associate, freed from the rigid Japanese school system to seek unlimited choices for college in America, the two girls had to remain behind for a few weeks to await the results of the infamous National College Entrance Exam.

Nabiki excitedly talked with them about their scores and which college she thought they should consider. Naturally, Nabiki assumed she would easily have passed the exam so felt most comfortable in dispensing advice. Whatever Yuka and Sayuri thought about such presumption, they kept to themselves. Kasumi listened quietly, helping share the good fortune of their above average scores. Since she never took the test herself, she had no experience at what such scores meant or how they related to choosing a Japanese college. The fact the girls were pleased was enough for her.

When Nabiki launched into another of her many lectures about the benefits of cost-effective college education, Kasumi chanced a glance at her youngest sister. Akane sat in the last seat of the van, leaning against the window and staring at passing scenery with listless eyes. Nothing the others said seemed to catch her attention. Not even Nabiki's announcement that they were going to do some 'power' shopping with the new credit card Jeff provided, could draw even the slightest reaction from Akane. Kasumi glanced between her sisters and frowned. If they didn't find Ranma soon, Akane might take matters into her own hands and go off looking for him by herself. Then there would be two people lost in Hawaii.

---

Somewhere up in the hills beyond Honolulu, two old farmers were rocking away on their front porch. A fancy 'boom box' type radio was sitting on the table between them playing 'easy listening' music.

"Say, Fred, do you think they ever captured those escaped pandas from the zoo?" the first farmer asked before spitting out a stream of tobacco juice.

"Can't rightly say, Willard. Ain't heard the news today," his companion replied.

"I wonder just what one of them panda critters look like."

"Don't rightly know. I hear they're black and white, though."

"Shush, Willard. The news is coming on."

"And in local news. Officials from the Honolulu Zoo announced the successful recapture of both escaped Chinese pandas last night," the radio announcer droned.

"The two pandas are healthy and glad to be back in captivity."

As the farmers continued to rock slowly and listen to an interview with the head zookeeper about how happy the pandas were to be in the zoo, a large black and white creature wandered past them on the road heading for a local sugar cane field.

"You know what, Willard?"

"What's that, Fred?"

"Either that's the biggest damn spotted dog in the world or that announcer fella's a liar."

"Yup, I 'speck so."

Fred snatched a baseball bat off the porch and smashed the radio to bits with a single swing.

"Damn lying piece of Japanese crap," he growled, shoving the radio's carcass off onto the lawn. "Did I ever tell you of the time we had to sandbag the beaches to keep those dirty Japs from invading?"

"A hundred times, Fred. What do ya think we oughta do about the big spotted dog?"

"I dunno. Get a collar and leash?"

Kuno and Kodachi started out on their great 'wedding busting' crusade. Armed with a list of potential Akane/Ranma weddings, the dynamic duo piled into a local taxi cab, pointed to an address and rumbled off to do battle. The first wedding was already underway when the pair arrived.

"Now, brother dear," Kodachi warned looking over the parking lot carefully. "We don't want to do this the wrong way. I'll check around to see if this is the correct wedding. You wait here." As the minutes ticked off, Kuno paced, allowing his sister to do all the leg-work. After all, she was but a mere woman and should be used to such duties. Making a fist, he shook it at the church.

"If you've even dreamed of defiling the virginal innocence of my Akane Tendo, you will suffer the vengeance of heaven! So swears the Blue Thunder of Nerima!" He paused in dramatic fashion, his fist thrust skyward as he scowled at the few fluffy white clouds that floated serenely overhead.

Nothing happened.

"I SAID: So swears the Blue Thunder of Nerima!" he shouted even louder. When his proclamation was greeted without so much as a distant rumble of thunder, his shoulders drooped. "Stupid Hawaiian clouds. Even they conspire against me." He was again pacing and concocting ever-more complex indignities he would impose on that peasant Ranma Saotome, when the first bars of 'The Wedding March' being played on an organ drifted from the church.
Gasping in panic, he looked around quickly for Kodachi. She was nowhere to be seen. There was only one thing left to do to prevent his sweet 'princess of bursting energy' from falling into the clutches of one who lacked even a single important business contact. He bolted for the church doors.
Bursting inside, he shoved his way past the ushers and into the church itself, screaming at the top of his lungs. "Unhand her you miserable wretch!"

Unfortunately, he was screaming in Japanese. It was also unfortunate that he'd picked the wrong wedding. The bride and groom were anything but Japanese. Hawaiian, yes, but Japanese,

no.

Sputtering at his mistake, he spun around to the ushers he had just shoved aside and waved his arms like a bird attempting flight. "What have you done with my sweet Akane Tendo? Deliver her immediately or suffer the consequences!" Six large Hawaiian men in ill-fitting tuxedos scowled back at the smaller Kuno.
"Did you not hear me?" Kuno screeched as six pairs of hands found parts of his body to grab. Seconds later, he actually WAS flying - for about forty feet,
landing face down with all the grace of a goony bird. Grumbling about 'ill-mannered peasants', he detected his sister's approach by the atmosphere's frosty change.

"Couldn't wait like you were told, could you, my impetuous brother?" Kodachi said as she bent over his body. "I told you I would handle this."

"I told you I would handle this," he mimicked, his face still pressed to the ground. "By the time you get around to checking on just who is getting married, the loving couple will have two children." Not used to being told off by her brother twice in the same day, Kodachi used a large rock on his head - just to make sure he understood that she was slightly miffed.

"Ow! That hurt, sister dear," he mumbled calmly, trying to pull his face out of the turf. "Just for that, I will carry on the search alone."

"Fine," she snarled, grabbing the list from his pocket. Tearing it in half, she tossed the lower half back onto his body. "You do your search and I'll do mine." With a huff, she turned on her heel and stormed off.

Extracting his face from the soft earth, Kuno yelled at his sister. "Fine! I don't need you! FOR I AM BLUE THUNDER!" When there came no flash of lightening or roll of ominous thunder in response, he eyed the clouds with the same contempt he'd just given his sister. "Stupid Hawaiian clouds," he mumbled.

---

Jeff pulled shut the door to his room. It was noon and he still needed to get fitted for his tux. Of course, the whole exercise was going to be a waste of time without the best man. He could just imagine what Nabiki would say to that. With a sigh of resignation, he started down the hall. Preoccupied with thoughts about how to get Ranma fitted last minute, he almost collided with a glowering red-head.

"Ohayo, Ranma," he said politely as he walked by. "RANMA?" Running back to catch up with the sullen best-man in female form, Jeff started with questions. "Where, the hell, have you been?! Everybody has been worried sick about you."

"I don't want to talk about it," Ranma-chan grumbled without breaking stride.

"And where's your father?" Jeff scrambled to keep up.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You missed the wedding rehearsal and Akane is spitting mad." The use of Akane's name caused Ranma-chan to jerk to a halt. Without any expression at all, her arm snapped sideways, her hand grabbing Jeff by the throat and pinning him against the wall.

"Okay, perhaps that last remark was a bit careless," Jeff croaked. He made gurgling sounds as he struggled to breathe. "If you... could just... move your... thumb..." Ranma released him but continued to give a warning look that could match anything Nabiki had in her arsenal. Jeff made a mental note to avoid mentioning Akane OR her mood until they had a chance to resolve things themselves. Rubbing his throat and making sure everything still worked, Jeff noticed Ranma-chan's torn shirt had flopped open again.

"Would you fix that please," he said waving a free hand at her chest. "I've kept everything under control with cold showers for three days and the last thing I need right now is to be face-to-face with a pair of those." Still glaring at him, Ranma-chan snatched the torn section of her shirt and yanked it back into place. It didn't help. As soon as she let go, it flopped open again. Jeff groaned and thought how much money Kuno would pay for a picture of that. "Look, I've got a one o'clock appointment to get fitted for my tux," he said with a casual check of his watch. "If you shower and change - your clothes AND yourself - we can both get fitted at the same time and save you a trip later. Okay?"

"Fine," Ranma-chan said with an exhausted sigh. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in the lobby."

"And pitch those clothes, they smell like you slept on the floor of a toilet," Jeff called after her.

Ranma-chan just hung her head in resignation. What else could go wrong? She spent the night in a toilet, she stank like it, and Akane was pissed because of what happened last night. All things considered, Ranma-chan thought she was better off lost.

Nabiki led her little entourage into Mr. Moto's Wedding Shop in downtown Honolulu. She was in the market for the most beautiful wedding dress possible and bridesmaids dresses for the rest. She had the will, she had the plastic, and she had the experience to get what she wanted at the price she wanted. With her black belt in shopping pulled tight, she prepared to do battle with the shop owner.

Two hours later, a shaking and sweating Mr. Moto stared disbelieving at the invoice he'd just printed. With all the discounts he'd included at Nabiki's insistence, he was barely breaking even on the deal. After thirty-two years of overcharging everyone in Hawaii for his exclusive wedding dresses, he had finally met his match in a girl from his homeland. The embarrassment produced a lump in his throat. Thoughts of having lost his touch were quickly replaced by the sight of one of the girls fingering an expensive necklace. Perhaps he might still make a profit on the accessories.

"Nabiki, I read that it's a custom in the West for a bride to get married with four traditional things; old, new, borrowed, and blue," Yuka chirped as she casually fingered the dress Nabiki had picked out.

"Cool." Sayuri clapped her hands. "It's like a game." Kasumi liked games and was about to join in when she noticed Akane sitting alone by the door. This moping business was becoming a bit tiresome.

With a silent sigh, Kasumi approached her sister. "Ranma will be all right," she insisted. "It hasn't even been twenty four hours yet."

Akane only glanced at her sister with listless eyes. "How can you be so sure?"

"I know things, remember?" Kasumi smoothed her sister's hair. "Ever since mother died..." her voice trailed off. She wasn't certain just how much of her mother's daily talks she should reveal. She knew everyone considered her a little strange already. Claiming to converse with the spirits would get her committed - or a shot at the fortune teller business. She used her all-purpose, mother-substitute smile on her sister. "He's a big boy. He'll be all right. I promise."

Akane seemed to consider her sister's reassurance before nodding and squeezing her sister's hand. "Okay, Oneechan. I guess you're right. Maybe I'm just acting stupid again."

"Not stupid - concerned," Kasumi corrected. "It's okay to be worried but sometimes you just have to trust people - especially if they have a good chance of becoming 'family.'" Akane regarded her older sister with a raised eyebrow.

"Just don't let Ranma's little adventures get to you or you'll wind up as crazy as he is."

"Kasumi?" Akane said with wide eyes, like she couldn't believe what her sister just said. The eldest Tendo daughter just shrugged. "Besides, if the big goof doesn't show up soon, I'm tempted to go look for him myself." The idea of Kasumi wandering the streets of Honolulu showing pictures of Ranma as a boy AND a girl while trying to convince people that the two were one and the same caused Akane issue an abrupt snort as she stifled a chuckle.

"Okay," she said between more half-suppressed chuckles. "I just hope he shows up soon."

"He will, Akane." Kasumi put her arm around her little sister and helped her to her feet. "Now, let's go play Yuka's little game and make Nabiki happy."
Akane nodded shyly and they joined the others.

"Okay," Yuka summed up. "You'll wear my class pin; that's blue. And Sayuri's charm bracelet; that's the borrowed. Of course, the dress is the new. But what about the old?" Yuka struck a contemplative pose. Nabiki's hand instinctively went to her mother's clan amulet nestled underneath her blouse. She was about to suggest using it when Kasumi offered a suggestion of her own.

"I have something very old for you." She dug through her purse and produced a small silver tube no more than six inches in length. Curved slightly, it appeared to have two parts that were fitted together. Its surface glittered in the dress shop lights, beautifully engraved with flowers and birds.

"What is it?" Nabiki asked as she fingered it's surface.

"It belonged to mother and is very old." Kasumi paused as if watching Nabiki's reaction. "It was worn by our mother when she got married." Yuka and Sayuri crowded closer to examine the object. In the light of the shop, the silver surface seemed to sparkle as Kasumi turned it over in her hand. She pulled the two ends apart to reveal a tiny silver handled knife. "It's called a 'promise tanto'," Kasumi said.

"What's it for?" Nabiki asked with raised eyebrows. A knife at a wedding seemed out of place - even for a Tendo wedding.

"You don't see it much any more," Kasumi said with a sigh. "But for hundreds of years Japanese brides wore them on silver chains so they hung down between their breasts. Every movement would cause the cold silver to touch the bride's skin reminding her of her promise."

"What promise?" Akane asked.

"It's the ultimate pledge by a Japanese bride." Kasumi smiled like she was revealing a long lost secret. "Should she ever dishonor her husband or his family name, she was to use the blade to take her own life." The other girls gasped at the thought. Even though they were only one or two generations removed from such common practices, they couldn't conceive of a situation that would compel a woman to do such a thing.

Nabiki's first reaction was to slide the blade back into its silver scabbard and hand it back to her older sister with disgust. But her mother had worn this. She must have taken the vow as well. The thought gnawed at her. If her mother was able to bear such a burden, couldn't she at least do the same? Instinctively,
her hand tightened around the tanto. Her eyes stared unseeing at the polished silver blade as she pondered if anyone who ever wore this badge of honor had used it as it was intended? Would she have the courage to use it? She had vowed to never dishonor her mother's clan. She swallowed hard.

"I... I will wear this," she said softly, her eyes beginning to water. Tradition was always something she could take or leave, as it suited her. With memories of her meeting with her mother in the spirit world, she swallowed hard. "In honor of mother, I will wear it proudly and abide by the tradition." Yuka and Sayuri gasped. Exchanging looks, they must have wondered just what had happened to their friend over the last two months.

"You will?" Akane asked, her eyes wide.

Nabiki nodded before adding a flicker of her sardonic smile. "You're not getting off easy, little sis. When you get married, you'll have to wear one of these too. With your temper, it's liable to get used on the groom." Akane blushed while the other girls giggled.

At the Honolulu Zoo, Genma Saotome was running for his life from a very aggressive female panda. Pulling signs that read:
[Control yourself, madam.], [I'm a married man.], and [Keep your paws to yourself!], he waddled from corner to corner, constantly pursued by the female panda that was obviously in heat.

A couple of zoo keepers ambled up to the cage with tubs of fresh bamboo cuttings for the pandas' afternoon meal.
"That big one sure is smart," the first observed as they approached the enclosure. "I wonder where he keeps getting those signs?"

"Beats me but he can't be all that smart," the other replied, setting down the tub of bamboo. "He hasn't written a single thing on those signs in English."

"You idiot! These are Chinese pandas. Where would they learn English?"

"Oh, yeah. I didn't think about that."

"Of course, you didn't. That's why I'M the senior guy here."

They tossed in the bamboo and prepared to leave. Mr. Saotome, his hunger winning out over his carnal concerns, quickly pounced on the food, allowing the female to paw and nip him amorously.

Holding up a sign asking for soy sauce, caused the first zoo keeper to shake his head. "Yup, that sure is one smart bear."

Ranma scowled into his pillow. What was that annoying ringing? All he wanted now that he was male again, was a few minutes with his face pressed against his pillow. Why did it seem like everyone was conspiring to ruin his trip to Hawaii - especially by ringing bells in his room while he was trying to sleep. He shook his head trying to make the ringing go away before realizing it was the phone. Sleepily, he rolled over and picked up the receiver.

"Mmah. Yeah, whadya want?" he mumbled.

"Hey, are you sleeping?" Jeff's voice came through the phone, a bit loudly Ranma thought. "You were just going to change your clothes and clean up a bit. If you don't get a move on, we're going to be late." Suddenly, Ranma was wide awake. The fitting. The wedding. Cursing himself for having fallen asleep after his shower, he flung himself out of the bed.

"Yeah, sure. I'm on my way now." Slamming the phone down quickly, he bolted for the door. Sprinting down the hall, he easily dodged a couple of elderly tourists and reached the elevators in record time. Punching the down button several times, he noticed all the cars were about as far away from his floor as they could get. The stairs! It was only four floors. Ranma raced down the stairs like a sprinter. Shoving open the ground floor fire door, he ran smack into a waiter carrying a whole tray of glasses filled with ice water. The resulting crash brought a crowd of curious spectators along with Jeff.

Jeff skidded to a halt at the sight of both the waiter and a female Ranma on their backs in a pool of ice water. The waiter was out cold but Ranma was quietly drumming her fingers on the soggy carpet. The boy certainly knew how to make an entrance. Now he was soaking wet and female again. Maybe he should invest in getting his body shrink-wrapped.

"Come on, little lady." He helped Ranma-chan to her feet. "We'll get you back up to your room and into some dry clothes."

"You know, Jeff-san," Ranma-chan said disgustedly,

"Sometimes, I think Akane's right. It would be better staying this way. I mean, how often do I get splashed with hot water?" Wisely, Jeff declined to answer.
Back on their floor, they made another discovery. In Ranma's haste, he had left his key-card back in his room. With a sigh, Jeff dug out the key-card to his own room and told Ranma to use his shower to transform back, while he went down to the desk and got another key to Ranma's room. He'd meet Ranma in ten or fifteen minutes with some dry clothes.

Ranma quickly showered and was just drying his hair when he noticed a loud 'ticking' sound. It seemed to be coming from under Jeff's bed. "Man! Jeff sure has a loud alarm clock," he said with a snort. "I wonder how he can sleep with such a racket. I wonder if Nabiki knows about this." He snickered at the thought of knowing something about her husband that she didn't. Wearing only a towel around his waist, he opened the room's door and looked down the hall. Jeffrey should have been back by now. With a sigh, he turned back towards the room.

He was just wondering aloud if Jeff remembered to get his extra shoes when the room exploded with a roar. A blinding flash of flame blew Ranma out the open door and across the hall. Bouncing off the wall, he landed squarely on an unattended maid's cart. A second explosion ripped through the now demolished room,
launching the cart down the hall at break-neck speed. Dazed, Ranma clung to the top. Alarm bells rang and emergency lighting flared to life, casting the hallway in a curious twilight. Doors to guest rooms were yanked open. A myriad of faces in the doorways whizzed past in a dizzying blur. The cart rocked and seemed to gain speed.

Almost to the end of the hall, Ranma looked up to see the fire doors closing. He closed his eyes and braced for the impact. The cart was faster than the doors. Beating the doors by a heart beat, it scraped noisily on the metal as it careened through. Ranma's towel was violently yanked from his body as it snagged on one of the doors, almost pulling him from the cart. He didn't have time to worry about is current state of undress, clinging to the speeding cart for dear life. Careening across the lobby, it barely missed dozens of people milling around in confusion.

A tour group of retirees was heading for the stairs when Ranma rolled screaming through the foyer before disappearing up another hallway.

"Damn college kids," one man grumbled. "Think every day is spring break."

His wife took his arm in hers and applied a light pat to his shoulder. "You used to do things like that."

"Yeah, but only on spring break. Let's take the stairs."

Halfway up the next hallway, Ranma's cart collided with another maid's cart. Diverted through the open door of a room the maid had just abandoned in the commotion, Ranma's eyes went wide when he saw where he was heading. Still moving at warp speed, the SS Maid Cart passed out the open balcony sliding glass door and impacted the hard iron railing, coming to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, physics being what it is, Ranma didn't. With a long yell, Ranma Saotome - sans towel, cart or usable parachute - sailed in a magnificent arc before landing in the deep end of the hotel's swimming pool with a tremendous splash.

Displaced pool water poured over the waiting Jackie Chan Fan Club. Camped out for days hoping to catch a glimpse of their famous stunt movie idol, the arrival from above of a screaming Asian male drew them to the pool, clapping and cheering what they believed to be another magnificent Jackie Chan movie stunt. "Jackie! Jackie! Jackie!" his devoted fans chanted, drawing even the mildly curious to the hotel's oversized swimming pool. The best photographic equipment was aimed at the lone figure rising to the pool's surface. There was hushed surprise when, instead of a middle aged martial arts actor/stunt man, an angry and very naked red-headed Japanese girl came sputtering to the surface.

"You idiot! That's not Jackie Chan!" a girl yelled as she grabbed one of the guys who had started the stampede.

"Yeah, but this is better," the boy replied, never taking his eyes off the naked red-head in the pool. An instant later, he lay blinking at the sky - at least, with his one good eye. Ranma-chan just hung on the side of the pool, head in hand, drumming her fingers again on the hard surface and wondering just what she did to deserve the last 24 hours.

At the first explosion, Jeff tried to get up to the fourth floor but quickly reversed direction when faced with a stampede of panicked hotel guests trying to get out of the building. When he heard Ranma's cry that sounded like he was falling from a great height, Jeff dashed towards the voice. As he burst out the doors leading to the pool, he saw the gathering crowd. Between the screams from the ladies and the applause from everyone else, Jeff knew it had to be his future brother-in-law. Only Ranma could cause a ruckus like that. Grabbing a bunch of beach towels along the way, he headed for the pool.
This was going to be hell to explain to the management. He dodged tourists, staff, and fought his way through a large contingent of disappointed Jackie Chan fans to reach his goal. Sure enough, there was Ranma - naked, female, and not in a good mood. Sirens from approaching fire trucks pierced the morning Hawaiian air.

"Can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?" Jeff said as he started feeding Ranma-chan towels. Soon he had her out of the pool and wrapped sufficiently in towels to look like just another swimmer. "What happened?"

"Jeff-san," Ranma-chan said flatly. "I think your alarm clock blew up."

Jeff just blinked twice. "I don't have an alarm clock."

"Well, you don't now. It blew up," Ranma-chan replied, scowling at one gawking teen in a threatening manner.

Looking back up at the smoking hole in the fourth floor, he grabbed Ranma-chan's arm and started pulling her away. "In any case, I think we better get as far away from here as possible,"

Jeff said, looking up at the gaping hole in the side of the hotel.

"When the fire investigators start digging through the rubble of the fourth floor they're gonna want to have a little talk with me. Until I know more about what's going on, I'd rather not say anything. First thing we need to do is get you some clothes." He waved his arm to attract the attention of a nearby taxi. Shoving the still wet Ranma-chan in the back seat, Jeff quickly followed and directed the driver to a small men's store in down town Honolulu.

The girls were just leaving Mr. Moto's shop when a taxi pulled up front and an excited Soun Tendo jumped out. Waving a local newspaper, he shouted that he had found Mr. Saotome. Excitedly, the girls gathered around to see a front page picture of a panda sitting on a pile of straw holding a sign that read, in Japanese, 'HELP!'.

"That's him, all right," Nabiki said. Only Akane noticed the fire trucks and police cars racing in the direction of their hotel.

"We've got to go get him," Kasumi said firmly.

"We've got to find Jeff first," Nabiki corrected her sister as she started for the taxi. All six tried to pile into the cab at the same time, Akane being the last to squeeze in. As luck would have it, another cab containing a very frustrated Kuno was passing by in the opposite direction. He just happened to look up in time to see his beloved Akane Tendo getting into the cab outside a fashionable Wedding Dress shop. His reaction was immediate and vocal. However, his lack of a usable English vocabulary made it impossible to get the driver to understand he wanted to stop. The taxi continued down the street, rocking back and forth as a frantic Mr. Blue Thunder screamed in Japanese and pounded on the glass between himself and the driver.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Ranma-chan were only seconds behind Kuno's cab heading for the men's shop. Kasumi was the first to spot Jeff in the back seat of the cab going in the opposite direction and pointed it out to her younger sister. As their cab pulled away from the curb, Nabiki used the only English words she knew would fit in this situation:

"Follow that cab!" Figuring a fare was a fare, the cabbie pulled a sudden u-turn in the middle of the street, cutting off two police cars in the process, and set off after Jeff's cab. The police cars, their brakes fully locked and sliding out of control, took a short detour through a couple of beach-front vendor's carts and on into the blue Pacific ocean, their lights still flashing as they sunk slowly beneath the waves. At the first traffic light, Kuno's taxi and Jeff's taxi pulled up next to each other. Kuno was still yelling at the driver when he noticed in the vehicle next to him sat his red-haired, pig-tailed goddess, all wet and lovely. This only spurred him to scream louder.

That was all his cabbie could take. Fare or no fare, he wanted this wacko out of his hack. Kuno gladly obliged but had lousy timing as the light suddenly turned green and the taxi containing his red-haired love took off through the intersection. Before Kuno could climb back into his taxi, the cabbie gunned the engine and escaped, following Jeff's cab on down the street.

Frustrated, Kuno jumped up and down waving his arms in the middle of the street. This almost caused an accident as the taxi containing the girls and Mr. Tendo had to swerve to avoid hitting the lunatic. As the cab sped past, Kuno caught sight of Akane in the back seat. With a strangled cry of recognition, he set off after Akane's cab on foot. Running as fast as he could and waving his arms like a goony bird attempting flight, he dashed after the escaping taxies. Two taxi cabs roared through the next intersection, followed by a lone Asian male on foot.

A fire truck on its way to the hotel bombing, swerved to avoid the pedestrian sprinting down the middle of the street, causing the trailing police car to slam on his brakes. It slammed into the fire truck's back end. Two other police cars, converging on the intersection from opposite directions swerved wildly to avoid the stopped fire truck. One jumped the curb and crashed into store front of a book store. The other clipped a fire hydrant before doing a perfect barrel roll over a street vendor's modest cart. Completing the stunt, it slammed into a concrete bus stop bench. The intersection was filled with the sound of screeching tires and crashing cars. When it was over, four police cars, two civilian vehicles and a Honolulu Fire Department hook and ladder lay in a smoking pile. Furious police officers and firemen crawled out of their destroyed vehicles, looking for that idiot who was running down the middle of the street.

Mr. Moto, still shaken from the financial licking he had taken at the hands of a master negotiator, was closing his shop for lunch. He needed to get away for a little while to get his confidence back. Glancing at the squad cars, fire trucks, and ambulances that were rapidly whizzing by in both directions, he wondered what could be going on that would cause such a commotion. Perhaps a terrorist attack or something. Securing the lock, he hung the 'Out to Lunch' sign on the front door. With a mighty roar, his entire shop blew up. When the smoke cleared, Mr. Moto was still standing at his front door. Actually, that was all that was left of his shop; a door, a sign and a pile of rubble.

Nabiki's taxi finally caught up with Jeff at the next stop light. Japanese girls came pouring out of the cab heading for the one in front.

"Jeff, we've found Mr. Saotome!" Nabiki yelled as she grabbed the passenger door handle.

"Everybody in!" Jeff hollered back, opening the back doors to allow the girls entry. Mr. Tendo was the last to exit his taxi. Before he could follow the girls, the cab driver jumped out and began yelling about the fare. Badly converting dollars to yen, Mr. Tendo reached in his pocket and handed a 100 dollar bill to the driver before sprinting to Jeff's taxi and squeezing in next to his oldest daughter.

As the overloaded taxi waddled away from the intersection, the remaining cabbie was chuckling about his windfall. The fare was only a little over 10 dollars. He was just beginning to explore the possibilities of what to do with a $90 tip when a lady in a minivan crashed into the rear end of his parked cab. It rolled into the intersection where it was promptly t-boned by two other cars. The stunned cabbie just stared at what was left of his taxi. He now had a totaled vehicle and a $90 tip to cover the damage.

As the over-stuffed taxi rolled up to a small men's shop, eight people piled out. Jeff handed a wad of money to the driver and ordered him to wait. Into the men's shop dashed six Japanese females, one Japanese father, and a very annoyed Jeff.

"Get something for Ranma to wear and get him changed," Jeff ordered Mr. Tendo before he turned to get the whole story from Nabiki.

"Uh...Jeff-san," Mr. Tendo said, clearing his throat nervously. "He is still a... uh, she."

"What? Oh... well, take her back into the bathroom and splash some hot water on her and then get HIM some clothes." Turning to Nabiki, he listened as she excitedly waved the newspaper in his face. Sure enough, there was a picture of Mr. Saotome on the front.

"Well, we'll just have to go get him," he said with resignation. "Although I don't have a clue as to how."

Kuno lost sight of Akane's taxi cab soon after it pulled away from his intersection. Figuring she was on her way to the church, he hailed another taxi and directed the driver to the next church on his list. Arriving in minutes, he dashed inside and attempted to disrupt what turned out to be a little African-American wedding service. Immediately set upon by half a dozen members of the wedding party, he was hauled outside and unceremoniously dumped on the grass.

Indignant, Kuno sprang to his feet and used the only Shakespeare phrase he knew in English. "You boorish blackamoors!"

The men jerked to a halt before rounding on the still fuming Kuno. "What did he call us?" one asked another. Cracking his knuckles, the largest of them advanced on the still raving Kuno, now jabbering away in Japanese. Kuno's eyes went wide. These people looked dangerous. Absent his faithful bokkan, he started to back away. As the men broke into a full charge, he panicked. Still watching his pursuers he sprinted for safety. One moment his feet were pounding away on the soft grass and the next... there was nothing. Scrambling in mid-air, trying to grab the cliff edge, gravity suddenly took over.

A small, but happy birthday party was in full swing around the swimming pool of this upper class suburban neighborhood. Nestled in a little cove of green that backed up to a fifty-foot high vertical wall of rock, it was an idyllic setting. In attendance were a dozen little girls, their mothers, a fly-attracting pony, and a certain Mr. Happy, the clown. Just as the girls were finishing the traditional singing of 'Happy Birthday' the air was rent with the scream of somebody approaching... from above. The long howl grew in volume until it was cut short by a body doing a perfect cannon-ball dive into the deep end of the outdoor pool, splashing water on everyone including the pony and Mr. Happy.

Tatewaki Kuno painfully crawled out of the pool. "Stupid cliff. Stupid gravity. Stupid pool." He uneasily got to his feet and tried to shake water from his body. "Somebody get me a towel," he growled at the dripping birthday party. When he noticed nobody was moving, he glared indignantly at the staring women.

"WELL?" The frozen party-goers came alive, throwing everything they could get their hands on. Cups, plates, and even hunks of birthday cake pelted the stunned Kuno. Some mothers even pulled up the cute little 'Tiki' torches that lined the patio and began beating him about the head and chest. The kids were screaming,
the women were yelling, and the pony was stampeding. Under repeated blows, Kuno decided, again, to run for his life. The final indignity was delivered by Mr. Happy, who chased him down the street beating him over the head with a shovel formerly used to scoop pony droppings. Throughout the beating, Kuno could only wonder how it was that a clown in oversized red shoes could run so fast.

Jeff apparently had not been placed on either the 'missing person' or the 'all points bulletin' lists as he was easily able to arrange for another limousine to pick up himself and the rest of the family along with a small panel van for his planned panda rescue. He didn't have a plan yet but was furiously working on the possibilities. The mood inside the limo was tense as everyone stared at him. He hoped they weren't expecting something brilliant.

Wedged between Akane and Kasumi, Ranma was describing the annoying Jackie Chan fans at the pool. Jackie Chan? Jackie Chan movie. That reminded him of something that was on the list of companies he had inherited. As the limo made a wide turn onto a main street, he remembered. Line forty-two. It referred to a sizeable investment in a major Hollywood film production studio. A Nabiki-like smile slowly grew on his face as a plan formed. It was a long shot but might just work. Shoving notepads and whatever else he could find in the back of the limo into the confused hands of the girls he quickly explained to them what he wanted them to do.

When they arrived at the zoo, it was still closed. Exiting the limo at the main gate, Jeff strode confidently up to the small office and demanded to see the person in charge while the others scurried to the panda compound. As it was still early in the day, the only person of any authority was the Assistant Head Zookeeper,
Mr. Hooper.

"May I help you, mister...," Mr. Hooper asked with an authoritative smile.

Ignoring the man's welcome, Jeff took a couple of steps towards the panda compound and pointed to Genma-panda. "I'm Jeffrey Lawrence and you have my panda."

There was a moment of stunned silence as the Assistant Head Zookeeper absorbed the declaration. "I'm sorry, sir. But those pandas are from the traveling Chinese panda exhibit," the man said confidently with a shake of his head. "We just recaptured them last night. Didn't you know? It was in the news."

"I'm sorry, but YOU have made a mistake. The big one there is a trained movie panda bear being used to film a Jackie Chan martial arts movie my studio is filming on the other side of the island," Jeff said trying to stare down the smaller Mr. Hooper. "He escaped two days ago and we have been frantically searching for him ever since."

"I really don't see how that is possible," Mr. Hooper replied with a sniff of irritation. "These are rare Chinese Highland Pandas, part of a traveling exhibit from China."

"The big one is a movie animal, specially trained by the master panda trainer, Soun Tendo." Jeff returned the zookeeper's haughty attitude. "Your reluctance to release our panda is costing my studio money - LOTS of money."

Genma-panda began jumping up and down, waving a sign that read: 'Take Me! Take Me!"

"I'll admit he's a little strange," Mr. Hooper said with an odd expression as he watched Genma-panda shimmy back and forth along the enclosure barrier, "but I assure you he is Chinese."

Genma-panda's sign changed twice. 'Idiot!' 'I'm Japanese!'

"And just who are all those people?" the zookeeper asked waving his hand at the Tendos. "Hey! Keep away from there! Those are dangerous animals."

"Those are my assistants and that big panda is perfectly tame -" "Really?" The zoo keeper scowled at the girls. "They look kind of young."

"Who? What? Oh, well, I hire based on ability, not age." Jeff struggled with the man's rapidly changing focus.

"You say it is a Jackie Chan movie?" The zookeeper sounded even more skeptical than Jeff expected.

"It's a children's movie. You know, a Japanese Disney-like film starring Jackie Chan." Jeff was making all this up as he went along. He hoped it didn't sound like it.

Soun Tendo leaned against the railing in front of the panda exhibit. "How I suffer for you, my old friend."

The panda just held up a sign. 'You don't know the half of it.' The female panda was getting more aggressive by the minute.

"Euoooo. If they start mating, I'm going to be sick," Yuka grimaced.

'You and me both,' the panda sign read.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lawrence, but how do I know this panda is yours?" The zookeeper crossed his arms and looked smug.

Another Assistant Zookeeper came running from the office. "You're not going to believe what happened, sir," the man gasped. "The police say a couple of farmers up in the hills were mauled by a female panda two hours ago."

The head zookeeper looked stunned. "A female panda? That's not possible. All our pandas are locked up here. Must be a mistake."

"No mistake, sir. The two farmers were trying to put a collar and leash on the panda when it attacked. It had a yellow Chinese ear tag."

"I believe you now know where YOUR panda is. May I have MY panda now?" Jeff asked impatiently. "I'm losing the light and have a tight shooting schedule."
Mr. Hooper kept looking between his subordinate, then Jeff, and finally the pandas in his enclosure, vainly hoping someone would tell him what to do.

"Can you prove this panda belongs to you?" he finally asked.

Jeff just grinned and signaled Mr. Tendo to do his thing. Soun Tendo put on a masterful performance of what he thought a movie animal trainer should look like. It was corny, it was strange, but it seemed to work. Finally, asking Mr. Saotome in Japanese, if he wanted to go home, the group was immediately rewarded with a pair of signs that read: 'Are you kidding?' and 'Get me out of here!'.

"You'll have to sign for him," Mr. Hooper said, gesturing to his assistant. The man scurried away to find the proper forms.

Jeff turned to Nabiki. "Miss Tendo, will you please call Mr. Lawrence and tell him we've found the panda. Then get the van backed up to the panda compound."

"Huh?" Nabiki just blinked at him. With a sigh, he switched to Japanese and repeated the instructions.

"Oh, HAI!" Nabiki grinned and added a bow before heading to the van.

"Wow, you guys speak Chinese and everything," the zookeeper said like he was impressed.

"Yeah - whatever," Jeff mumbled. On the way back to the hotel, Jeff had the driver stop in front of a police station. No sense being a hunted man, he figured. It would be better to be open and cooperative with the police.

It was a struggle to keep Nabiki from going with him. "Jeffrey, if you are going to be arrested, I want to be there," she pleaded.

"You don't even speak English," Jeff growled.

"Do too. Watch." She turned to Akane and switched to her best English. "Good day, Miss Tendo," she said, extending her hand to shake. "Beautiful clouds in the sky, ni?"

Jeff groaned. "I'll probably get the chair."

"I'll do fine," Nabiki replied in Japanese with a look of supreme confidence.

"Nabiki, all I'm going to do is make a report to the authorities so they can start looking for whomever has been causing all the trouble," Jeff said with a sigh.

"I can help," Nabiki responded with a pout.

Jeff glanced at Ranma who was still grumbling about all the trouble his pop had caused. "Ranma. I'll take Ranma with me."

"But-"

"Why don't YOU take the girls and go pick out the tuxedos we are going to wear at the wedding? You know what all the girls are wearing. This will give you a chance to color-coordinate your wedding."

Nabiki eyed him with a suspicious expression. "You are trying to get rid of me."

"Got it in one," Jeff muttered in English before smiling at his wife-to-be. "Nabiki, you would be bored at a police station. It's just a bunch of grumpy people milling about. And that's just the police. There are also killers, thieves, and prostitutes. No place for you and your sisters."

"Daughter, I think Mr. Lawrence has offered a wise suggestion," Soun Tendo said softly. "You go with the others and pick out nice... whatever he said and I will see to Mr. Saotome."

Nabiki appeared to consider her father's offer. "Well, okay but if you get arrested and thrown into prison on a deserted island, I'll... I'll rent a boat and come rescue you."

Jeff opened the limo door. "You watch too many movies. I'll be fine. I'm just going to tell the police the truth."

As the limo drove off, Ranma just shook his head looking at Jeff. "It won't work, you know," he said with mild disgust. "The police never believe the truth."

"Maybe, but we gotta try," Jeff replied as they walked into the imposing facility. "If the attempts were just on myself, I could deal with them. But they're going after Nabiki too, and I can't allow that." Ranma looked at Jeff with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. Getting the police involved was quite outside his experience. He would have just taken matters into his own hands and dealt with the situation, man-to-man.

Jeff sensed Ranma's reluctance. "Would you do any different if it was Akane?" he asked. Ranma abruptly stopped walking and stared at Jeff. He had dealt with many different assailants back in Japan and always came out the victor. But there he was only faced with persons armed with martial arts weapons or magic spells. They were skillfully used, to be sure, but still were things he was familiar with. Here Jeff was faced with guns and bombs, not something you could easily defend against. Perhaps, Jeff-san was correct after all. If it were Akane, Ranma would probably do the same thing.

Jeff strode up to the front desk and asked for the duty sergeant. Moments later a tough looking veteran who looked like he had been on the force all his life waddled up to the other side of the desk and asked Jeff what he wanted.

"My name is Jeff Lawrence and I wish to report several attempts on my life." Jeff was both formal and direct. The sergeant took down all the information Jeff provided but continued to look skeptical throughout the interview process.

"So let me see if I've got this straight," he began. "The first attempt on your life was the limousine."

"Correct."

"But instead of you, they got your father-in-law, right?"

"Well, yes."

"And the second was your hotel room."

"Also, correct."

"But instead of you, they blew up the young man standing next to you; your best man, right?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Finally, they tried to kill your fiance in a dress shop."

"Correct."

"But they missed entirely and got only the building instead."

"Uh-huh."

"Mr. Lawrence, It would appear that being anywhere near you could be rather hazardous to a person's health," the sergeant said crossing his arms and leaning on the desk. "Furthermore, we have no evidence of foul play here." He snatched a small pile of papers and waved them like a fan in front of Jeff's face. "Brakes DO fail on cars. The fire department's report concluded that it wasn't YOUR room that blew up at the hotel but rather the one below yours. And finally, the Dress Shop explosion has been blamed on a gas leak." He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head. "It would seem to me that you are taking all these little accidents a little too personally. Perhaps, you're just jittery because of your wedding in three days. You know, some guys will look for any excuse to avoid getting married if they are beginning to have second thoughts."

Jeff bristled at the suggestion that all this was just his imagination and that he was just looking for a way to duck the wedding. "Look! In the first place, three 'coincidences' are a little too familiar for my taste. The brake lines were obviously cut, the bomb was under MY room, and the gas line could have been broken by someone wishing to harm my fiance. And secondly, I'm NOT having second thoughts about marrying Nabiki." The desk sergeant just gave Jeff a skeptical look.

"Let's get out of here," Ranma said in Japanese while pulling on Jeff's arm. "I told you they wouldn't believe the truth." He wasn't following the conversation but could tell by the desk sergeant's look and Jeff's reaction that this visit to the police was a waste of time.

"What did he just say?" the desk sergeant demanded standing up.

"He said you wouldn't believe the truth," Jeff sarcastically replied.

"Look here, young man," the sergeant began shouting as he waved his finger in both their faces. "We cannot go running around chasing every paranoid delusion that wanders in off the street. I've got six police cars totaled today and ten others with various levels of damage because of some fool tourist. That doesn't even include the two that are still under water in the harbor. Buster, we deal daily in nothing but truth, justice and the American way."

"What'd he say?" Ranma asked Jeff.

"He said: 'Shut up. You're wrong.'" Ranma just shrugged. Police were the same everywhere.

"Very well, Sergeant," Jeff said as he turned to leave. "But I want it on record that I attempted to interest you in a potential murder."

"Duly noted, young man. I think you know where the door is." Jeff and Ranma turned to leave, the desk sergeant still shaking his head. Let the fool think what he wanted. It didn't matter that the police weren't going to help. That just meant he would have to deal with the situation himself. Still thinking evil thoughts about the rotten police force, Jeff yanked open the door and had only an instant to duck as an RPG rocket-propelled grenade came flying through the open door. Hissing like an angry snake, it slipped past between Jeff and Ranma, flew across the room, and exploded on the back wall of the police station. The blast filled the room with thick black smoke, and showering everyone inside with plaster, light fixtures, and assorted debris.
The sergeant just stood behind his desk, his mouth open as plaster and dirt rained down on him.

"You can add that to my list of 'coincidences'," Jeff yelled as he pulled Ranma through the door.

---

Fortunately, the hotel management didn't blame Jeff or Ranma for the bombing. It would appear that it was the work of someone who had affixed a bomb to the ceiling of the room directly below Jeff's. While there was little clue as to who planted the explosive, the hotel management and the police wanted very much to talk to the person assigned to the room; a certain Tatewaki Kuno.

The entire wedding party moved to another beach front hotel and quickly settled in to their new rooms. That night, Akane crept down the hall to see Ranma. She wasn't sure why she was doing this. After all that had happened, she just wanted to know he was all right. Once at his door, she hesitated when she noticed it wasn't fully closed. He should know better than that. This wasn't Japan. It wasn't safe here to leave a door open or unlocked. She'd learned that much from her stay. Leaning close, she couldn't see much of the room.

Cocking her head, she listened carefully. There was no sound from inside. Perhaps he wasn't inside. Maybe the goof went somewhere and left his door open. That would be just like the baka to do something so stupid. But what if he was inside? What if someone saw her outside his room? Traces of apprehension about being there alone nibbled at her confidence. Visiting Ranma in his room late at night might be misinterpreted. Seeing him alone was one thing but seeing him alone in a hotel room could cause talk - bad talk. Swallowing hard and she cast furtive glances both directions before gently knocking on his door.

"Come in," came Ranma's voice from inside. Drawing a deep breath as if preparing to take a plunge into deep water, she lightly pushed the door open. There, sitting on the bed reading a small book, was her fiance - in his male form and acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened in the last 24 hours.

"Can I come in?" she asked in a soft voice.

"Yeah, I said so, didn't I?" He shifted like the question made him uncomfortable. She knew he didn't like being alone with her anywhere. Their being alone in a hotel room was guaranteed to make him nervous as well. Akane entered and closed the door. Clinging to the knob for a moment, she watched for some reaction from him. All he did was sniff and shift his position again. Drawing a deep breath to steady herself, she walked softly over to the bed.

"What'cha reading?" she asked in a soft voice and leaning over with her hands clasped behind her back.

"A book I bought before we left. It's called 'Western Wedding Customs'." He showed her the cover. She rocked lightly on her heels, pursing her lips and trying to act nonchalant.

"Could I look at it with you?" she asked innocently.

"I guess so," he mumbled as his eyes darted from the book to his fiancee and back again. He appeared distinctly uncomfortable at her suggestion.
Since she had already come this far, she decided to see how far he was willing to let her go. Sitting demurely on the bed next to him, she started reading over his arm.

Ranma wasn't really doing much reading at that point. When she slid a little closer, her left breast pressing lightly against his arm, her left arm behind his back bracing herself on the bed, he started sweating.

"Isn't that beautiful?" she said pointing to a picture of a couple dressed in white standing before a minister outdoors under an arch of flowers. Slowly she lowered her head until it was resting on his shoulder. He gulped, the words on the page seemed to swim before his eyes. He could feel her heart beating. He could smell her hair and a hint of... perfume? She never wore perfume. That was girl stuff. He turned his head to say something about the perfume and found himself looking deeply into her brown eyes. She lifted her chin slightly and her eyes slowly closed. He gulped loud enough to be heard as he watched her lips change shape.
He couldn't help but notice how she was... she was... so cute like that. He really... really... really... want wanted to... His head slowly descended until he could feel her breath against his cheek.

Suddenly, something in his head screamed in panic. WHAT WAS HE DOING? Bolting from his bed, he scrambled to the room's far corner. "Uh...It's awfully hot in here, Akane. Maybe, I better check the air conditioner. They sometimes break in all this heat," he stammered like a kid caught sneaking into a movie theater.

Ranma's sudden move off of the bed caused Akane to fall over onto her elbows. "Idiot!" she hissed through gritted teeth. Anger flared. Her head whipped around to glare at her fiance. She was about to issue him the mother of all poundings when she noticed something about him she had never seen before. He looked scared - really scared.

So that's it, she thought with the kind of warm satisfaction that accompanied such a discovery. He's acting like this, not because he's basically a jerk, but because he's afraid. This changes everything. She pushed herself upright and sat quietly for a few moments. More seconds ticked off. An uncomfortable hush ruled the room. She eyed him with a little smile. He nervously shifted his position several times in his corner while she sat quietly, hands in her lap, watching him squirm. Yup, she thought with a little silent laugh. He's scared of me because I'm a girl.

"Ranma, you can come back and sit down now. I won't bite you," she said with a touch of humor to her voice.

"Well, who ever said you would?" he replied, his face screwed into an expression that she likened to a scared puppy dog. While he was trying to bravely posture, it no longer fooled her.

"Okay, I get the hint," she chuckled, standing up to leave.

"You don't have to go, Akane," he said softly from his corner. It almost sounded like a plea. "If you don't want to, I mean."

She opened the door and looked at him for a long time. "No, you need your sleep," she said with a smile. "You've had a rough two days."

"Akane," he called as she started through the door. When she stopped and looked back in, he added: "Thanks... for stopping by, I mean."

"No problem, pervert. By the way, may I borrow your book when you're finished? It might tell me just what a Maid-of-Honor is supposed to do in a wedding. We didn't get too much of a rehearsal the other day."

"Yeah, I guess so," he dropped his head slightly and blushed. He had missed Nabiki's wedding rehearsal because he was lost. "Sorry."

"Just make sure you don't screw up at the wedding," she chided, "or Nabiki will have your head."

"Don't worry about me," he shot back. Her being almost out the door had apparently emboldened him, reigniting his stubbornness. "You just worry about screwing up yourself, klutz."

"Look, you jerk. At least I got to the rehearsal." Her voice resumed its hardness. No matter what was said between them, it always seemed to end with a fight. It was all so frustrating. "You're so immature, Ranma!"

Slamming the door, she paused. Through it, she could hear his pitiful reply. "And you're still an...an... uncute tomboy!" With a tiny smile on her face, she started down the hall. Yes, he was okay but still an immature jerk - HER immature jerk. That made all the difference.

Jeff followed Nabiki back to her room. She tried to act if he wasn't there but it was hard to ignore someone his relative size shadowing her down the hall. As she unlocked the door to her room, Jeff leaned against the wall, trying to look nonchalant.

"Good night, Jeffrey," she said firmly as she stepped through the doorway.

"It's a different hotel." He slid towards the open door.

"With the same rules." She crossed her arms and blocked his path by leaning against the door frame. It was obvious she wasn't going to give in to him tonight either.

"It's only a couple of days until... you know. Are you going to make me take another cold shower?" he asked with a little pout.

"Hmmmm. Maybe I can help you after all. Wait here." She disappeared into her room and shortly returned with a glass of ice water. Before Jeff could ask what that was for, she poured the water over his head. Both watched the final rivulets of water drain onto the carpet.

"There," she said with a look of satisfaction. "Now you don't have to take a cold shower."

"Nope," he softly replied. "Didn't work."

"Oh, I see. Its not the water temperature, it's the quantity of water. Very interesting," she said like a doctor diagnosing a sick patient. "This is not all that different from Ranma's problem."

"How do you figure?"

"When he gets hit with cold water, he turns into a girl and thus loses his desire for female company. When you get hit with sufficient cold water, you 'cool off' as well."

"Interesting theory," he said, thinking of a way this was going to get him into her room. "Perhaps we could test it. Do you have a shower?"

There was something in the way she chuckled knowingly that suggested this plan was doomed. "I have something even better." Reaching down to the floor inside her room, she produced an ice bucket swimming with half melted ice. He gulped and started to back away. Swirling the liquid around in the bucket, she advanced menacingly.

"Hey! I can take a shower in my room. Really." He held up his hands while retreating backwards. With a malevolent grin, Nabiki began to stalk him. It was clear she wasn't going to give up easily. Faster he backpedaled. Nabiki matched him by increasing her advance. There was no way he was going to escape. It was only a question of when she would choose to strike. He was practically sprinting backwards when his retreat ended when his body slammed into a door hard enough to see stars. It took him a moment to clear his head. When he did, all he saw was Nabiki's satisfied grin. She had him.

"Nabiki, you wouldn't dare," he said, hoping his serious tone of voice might convince her enough was enough. No such luck. Her predatory smirk said as much. As her hands pushed the bucket forward, he could see the ice water arching through the air, heading for his face. With a strangled cry of alarm, his heel struck the door again as he dropped to the floor and rolled towards his fiancee. The door abruptly opened and Soun Tendo caught the full effect of Nabiki's attack. Drenched with ice water, he just stood in his wet pajamas staring at his middle daughter, his face typically absent of expression. The look on is future father-in-law's face was too much for Jeff. A few furtive chuckles soon gave way to outright laughter as he began rolling back and forth on the wet floor. Nabiki dropped the bucket, her hands flew to her mouth trying to cover a look of total shock at what she had just done.

"D..Daddy! Oh, I'm sorry. I was just..." Nabiki tried to explain but, then, what could she say? Soun looked first at Jeff laughing and rolling on the floor,
then at his daughter who was recovering from her shock and starting to giggle herself. All this noise had the effect of drawing others on the floor out of their rooms. Kasumi soon arrived with a large towel.

"Thank you, daughter," Soun said with all the dignity he could muster and holding his hand out. However, the towel wasn't for him. With typical Japanese resolution, the eldest Tendo daughter dropped to her knees and started mopping up the water from the carpet. This only caused Jeff and Nabiki to laugh harder.

"Honestly," Kasumi chastised whoever would listen. "If you want to play with water, you should go outside." Jeff was so lost in laughing at the situation that he failed to notice Soun's momentarily disappearance. When he returned, he was holding a small ice bucket of his own. It wasn't hard to guess why. He paused, his eyes going from one person to another. So many deserving targets and only one bucket. Without expression of any kind, he dumped its contents on the person who started all this, his middle daughter. Nabiki squealed when the cold water hit her, a look of total shock on her face.

"Father!" Kasumi yelled. "Now I'll have to mop that spot too..." She never got a chance to finish as Akane arrived with a bucket of her own. Her scream of surprise her youngest sister splashed her with cold water echoed down the hall. In seconds, the entire Tendo family was engaged in a water fight. Screams of surprise mixed with the sounds of running feet as people ran for more water. Water flew everywhere, soaking everything until the carpet was a soggy mess. Every time Jeff tried to make it back to his room, someone else nailed him with another bucket of water. Soaked to the bone, he crawled down the hall. Along the way, more and more people emerged from their rooms, each armed with water containers of every description.

In seconds, the floor rang with cries of surprise as someone's attack scored a hit while their attackers shouted their success. It was an old-fashioned pillow fight with buckets of water. No one was spared, not the daughters, not Jeff, not even the night manager who tried to break it up before someone called the cops. In the middle of all this, Jeff heard Ranma's door open. Still rubbing his sleepy eyes, he got the ultimate wake up call when Akane soaked him with enough water to trigger a dozen curse-inspired transformations. In the blink of a eye, a spitting mad red-headed female emerged yelling about 'uncute tomboys'.

That was enough for Jeff. Things had gotten out of hand. All he wanted was a hot night of long-awaited intimacies with Nabiki, not enough cold water to last him a lifetime. On hands and knees, he scrambled for the safety of his room. He hadn't gone far when a pair of slippered feet blocked his path. Apprehensively, his eyes scrolled up the form attached to those feet until he was looking into the face of a grandmotherly-appearing lady sporting an un-grandmotherly expression of mischief. Holding an ice bucket in her hands, her eyes seemed to glow with delight at finding such an easy target.

Jeff whimpered and dropped his head to the carpet, covering it with his arms. Surely she wouldn't attack a helpless man. His answer came in a deluge of ice water - more ice than water. The old lady's cackle of delight faded as she scurried off in search of more water. Twenty minutes later, it was all over. Looking like a surreal battle ground, bodies were everywhere, many still twitching with laughter. Somehow, Akane wound up with her wet head in Ranma-chan's lap.

"Feeling better?" she chirped.

"This," Ranma-chan said with a chuckle, "is the best. Thanks, Akane." The young couple hugged like two kids who had just finished playing.

Nabiki helped Jeff to his feet. "Still need a cold shower?" she asked, squeezing water out of her hair.

"Nope. I think I can make it to the wedding now, thank- you-very-much," Jeff replied, shaking water off his arms. They hugged for a few seconds before both squished their way back to their own rooms. Only Genma Saotome missed the fight. Sleeping soundly, he never knew what he missed. On the other hand, his presence would have been hard to explain after the first bucket of water hit him. Kasumi, wiping her wet hair out of her eyes, surveyed the drenched hallway.

"This will take all night to..." She paused and drew a deep breath. "Aaw, to heck with it. I'm going to bed." She returned to her room, a tiny smile on her face, as the remaining combatants roared with laughter.

---

The next morning Jeff was lectured by the hotel manager about proper behavior in a resort hotel and was asked to pay for the damages in exchange for no charges and a promise of no more trouble. Jeff also noticed a change among the Tendos towards him. After he demonstrated his willingness to overlook conventional behavior where it came to his new family, it was as if he was finally accepted. The water fight may have been a strange way of bonding but through it they came together as a family. For better or worse, he was now officially a Tendo.

The next three days went quickly and quietly. The fact that the Honolulu Police began to take an active interest in the case and assigned plain clothes police to shadow Jeff and Nabiki might have had something to do with it. In addition, Mr. Lawrence, alarmed at the obvious attempts on his son's life, got the State Department interested. The next thing Jeff knew, he was sitting in a chair in a small, dimly-lit room being interrogated by three humorless figures from the FBI.

"We are here because of the attacks," one said in a low monotone.

A second FBI agent adjusted his glasses. "We prefer to think of them as assassination attempts." His voice was a flat and monotone as the first.

The third adjusted his earphone. "Do you know anyone who would like to kill either you or your future wife?" Jeff pondered the question but was distracted by their peculiar speech patterns. Did everyone in the FBI talk like that? Maybe it was the suits that made them so humorless. They all wore identical black suits with patternless ties. Sunglasses hid their eyes and earphone cables skirted their military-style haircuts before disappearing in a black blob stuck in their left ears that was only visible when an agent turned his head.

"I can think of a lot of people who don't care for Nabiki," Jeff finally noted. He also noted his voice had taken on a similar monotone. Great, NOW they had him talking like that.

"Can you name them?"

"Nope. Too many."

"How many?"

"Try the entire graduating class of Furinkan Senior High School in Tokyo."

"In Tokyo?"

"Yes, that's in Japan."

One of the agents turned to his companions. "That's not in our jurisdiction."

"Correct. That's CIA territory," one of the others replied.

"We better alert them. They will have to interrogate each student," the third agent droned.

"Agreed." The first agent again turned to Jeff. "We will have to take you into protective custody."

"Uh... point of order," Jeff said, holding up one finger. "I'm getting married tomorrow. I have a bachelor party tonight on the beach. I can't be in protective custody."

"Then we'll have to cordon off the entire area around the church. String barbed wire. Plant land mines."

The other agents seemed to like the idea. "We'll call up the Army to set a defensive perimeter two hundred yards around the church."

"Helicopters overhead."

"We'll have a strike force of F-16's orbiting at eleven thousand feet."

"Ask the Strategic Air Command to target the southwest quadrant of Oahu. Two B-52's armed with nuclear stand-off missiles should do it."

"Isn't that a little harsh for a single killer?" Jeff asked, his eyes darting from one agent to the next. He was beginning to feel more threatened by the agents than the killer.

"We are very serious about our jobs, Mr. Lawrence," the first agent said.

"So I noticed," Jeff mumbled.

"One more thing, Mr. Lawrence," the third agent rummaged through the inside pocket of his coat. Pulling out a photo, he held it in front of Jeff's face. "Have you ever seen this man before?"

Jeff squinted at the photo before slumping back in his chair. "You've GOT to be kidding. That's Tatewaki Kuno."

"We've got a tip that he might be sneaking contraband into this country," the agent said, depositing the photo back in his pocket.

"I wouldn't worry about him," Jeff said with a shake of his head. "I mean, he's a little crazy but not crazy enough to try and kill anyone. Well, maybe Ranma but that's only over his obsession with Akane Tendo." Jeff forced himself to shut up when he noticed one of the agents scribbling in his tiny black notebook. "Look, I don't want to get anyone in trouble. I think he's crazy because he's in love with my best man and the Maid of Honor."

"He's in love with both a man and a woman?" the second agent asked.

Jeff rubbed the back of his head. "Well, okay, he's actually in love with the girl Ranma turns into."

"HE turns into a girl?"

"When splashed with cold water. It's a Chinese curse of some sort. I understand the Chinese Amazons from Joketsuzoku are also after him."

"My god!" the first agent gasped. "The Chinese are involved. Better get this information to the DoD. This might get ugly."

"Oh, there is also some kid who turns into a pig when splashed with cold water."

The three agents traded worried looks. "A pig?"

"Yeah, black - about yea big," Jeff said, holding his hands a foot apart.

"Make a note of that," the first agent said to the one scribbling in his notebook. "Chinese Amazons, Tatewaki Kuno, and a little black pig."

"Of course, the only person you really have to watch out for is Kodachi Kuno. She's REALLY crazy." Jeff smiled to himself. He figured that if he just gave them enough information, they might spend all their time chasing his worthless clues.

"That's all for now, Mr. Lawrence," the first agent said. "We'll be in touch." Now THAT was something to look forward to, Jeff sourly thought to himself.

Over the next six hours, he was interrogated by agents of no fewer than seven government organizations. Everyone from the local police to the Park Service had their turn interrogating him. By the time he escaped their questioning, his mood was anything but celebratory. For the rest of the day, everywhere he went, he caught glimpses of men in black suits wearing dark glasses with tiny earphones stuck in their ears. It would have been easily dismissed as normal paranoia except there were so many of them they kept getting in each other's way. The rest of the wedding party acted as if they were unaware of all the people tailing them. Everyone, that is, except Nabiki.

"Jeffrey, why are we being followed by a man in a black suit? Do you owe money to the local Yakuza?" she asked when they stopped at a flower shop in downtown Honolulu.

"That is a government agent following us," Jeff replied with a tired voice. He was really getting sick of all this 'security.'

"Government agent?" Nabiki gasped. "Why are they following us?"

"They're trying to protect us from whomever tried three...no, make that four times to kill either you or me."

"Well, I DON'T like to be followed," she growled.

"Nabiki, just try to understand -"

"Understand? There's nothing to understand. I HATE being followed!" She turned and started towards the man. Only Jeff grabbing her wrist and pulling her back prevented a nasty incident in the street.

"It won't do any good confronting them. They're everywhere. The two guys in the white car up the street are agents. So is the guy across the street selling ice cream. There was even one on the roof of the 7-11 we passed. All they are doing is trying to protect us," Jeff said before adding a deep sigh. He was as disgusted with the surveillance as his future wife but knew there was little he could do about it. He just didn't want Nabiki to deal with the situation in her usual manner.

"Well, I don't like it," she repeated. Looking around, she spotted a cab driver sitting in his parked taxi only a few yards away. He appeared to watching them while holding his radio microphone in his hand. With a huff, she slipped out of Jeff's grasp and stomped up to the taxi. Thrusting her head through the open passenger side window, she summoned up her best English. "I NO LIKE YOU FOLLOW! GO AWAY!" she screamed. With a slap on the roof of his taxi for emphasis, she turned on her heel and stomped back to Jeff.

The taxi driver remained plastered against the driver's side door, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "There, I feel better now," she declared upon returning. She certainly looked satisfied at her efforts.

"Nabiki, that isn't an agent," Jeff said flatly. As if to prove Jeff's point, the taxi driver unleashed a stream of local Hawaiian that sounded vaguely like curses before offering a hand gesture of the sort that cabbies were known for and roaring off in a cloud of noxious car fumes. Almost everyone on the street had stopped to see the commotion Nabiki caused. Jeff glanced around with a pained expression. No doubt about it, she had done it again.

Jeff finally convinced Nabiki to take her friends shopping. Anything to get her to forget about her law enforcement tail. For the most part, it worked. Nabiki and her friends found another dress store to replace all the wedding dresses that were destroyed when Mr. Moto's shop blew up, the guys finally all got fitted in their tuxedos, and Mrs. Lawrence announced that she had finished making the final arrangements for the wedding. Despite all the disruptions, it actually began to look like a wedding was going to happen.

---

That night, the bachelor party luau took place on a beach owned by the Polynesian Cultural Center. Despite the authentic Hawaiian surroundings, it was soon obvious to everyone that this was going to be strange, even for even a Tendo event. The men lounged around on the beach near a roaring fire while native musicians pounded out a tropical beat. Despite Jeff's assurance to Nabiki that it would be a 'dry' party, Genma Saotome saw to it there was sufficient sake for everyone. The cool night air, the warm sake, and rhythmic beat of island drums wove a spell over the men.

Through an alcohol-induced haze, Jeff noticed a string of Tahitian-style dancers wiggling a seductive dance as they emerged from a thick grove of trees. It seemed his father had gone all out arranging entertainment. Yet despite their obvious native costumes, there was something odd about the dancers.

"Jeff-san," Mr. Tendo asked as he rubbed his eyes. "What does that dancer have on her ankle?" Jeff blinked and tried to focus on the dancer in question. There was certainly 'something' on her ankle that wasn't made of flowers. It almost looked like an ankle holster.

He turned to his father. "Dad, are those security people?" he asked with a frown. He glanced again at the dancers and couldn't help but notice another of the girls was wearing dark glasses. In fact, several of the musicians were also suspiciously adorned with non-native items that could easily have been taken for radios or weapons. Nabiki warned him that she didn't like to be followed. If she and the other girls were getting the same treatment,... "Nabiki's gonna kill me, when she finds out."

Before his father could offer an answer, someone further down the beach set off a celebratory string of firecrackers. The music abruptly stopped as bodies darted in all directions. Every member of the band produced weapons. Two of the dancers somersaulted on the sand, coming up with small machine guns in hand. All scanned the darkness like Marines expecting an ambush.

One of the dancers, the one with the obvious ankle holster, threw herself at Jeff. The collision sent the two tumbling back onto the sand, coming to rest with her coconut brassiere smashed into Jeff's face as she covered him with her body. He had to admit, it wasn't all that unpleasant an experience. For a few seconds, everything was quiet.

From under another of the dancers, came Genma's voice. "Not a bad party, eh Tendo?"

"Could use more sake," Soun replied from somewhere underneath another dancer.

Jeff groaned. "Nabiki's gonna kill me for sure."

---

The wedding day was truly a gift from the gods. A beautiful blue sky punctuated by fluffy white clouds promised the kind of weather only a tropical paradise could offer. Best yet, Nabiki acted as if she had no idea what happened at the bachelor party. Ranma and Akane ate breakfast early so they could go running before having to dress for the wedding. It was obvious to everyone that there was something different between them. Just the way they looked at each other suggested they took greater comfort in being together.

Passing Kasumi on her way to the hotel's restaurant, the two cheerfully called a greeting and waved to her while crossing the hotel lobby. To her surprise, Ranma actually held the door for his fiancee as they left the hotel.

"Maybe they're finally growing up," she muttered with a motherly smile. "I don't know why you're so worried, Mother. Everything is perfect." Well, not exactly perfect. She allowed herself a moment to think of her own relationship - or the lack of one - with Doctor Tofu. She knew her mother had promised everything would turn out all right but it was sometimes so difficult to believe. With a sigh of resignation, she turned again towards the hotel restaurant. Such thoughts were too depressing to deal with on such a beautiful day.

Inside, she quickly joined her father and Mr. Saotome at a large booth in the middle of the room. The breakfast buffet proved a cornucopia of Western delights that tempted her with delicious smells. Only a reminder that a few pounds added by this trip to paradise might effect how he viewed her restricted her breakfast to a small plate of fruit and a glass of fresh orange juice.

"Excellent meal, right Saotome?" Soun Tendo said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Quite so, old friend. I could get used to this very easily," Genma replied, leaning back to rub his full belly. Kasumi frowned and picked at her fruit with a fork. What were they talking about? They had just finished off a cornucopia of eggs, bacon, and pancakes topped by whipped cream and ladles of fresh fruit syrup. She couldn't cook stuff like that every morning. She wasn't certain they could even afford that kind of food back home. An uncomfortable silence hung over the table as if the men had picked up on her feelings.

"Of course, we wouldn't want to do this every morning." Soun sounded uneasy at their obvious blunder.

"Oh... Oh yes," Genma answered as he suddenly understood Soun's meaning. Grabbing his coffee cup, he gulped some of the steamy liquid. "That would simply be out of the question. After all, a good martial artist requires a proper Japanese breakfast to be at his best." Kasumi knew what they were trying to do and smiled inwardly. Well, maybe once in a while she could try cooking this kind of breakfast. It would be a nice treat for everyone.

"Excellent coffee," Soun declared between noisy sips.

"True, true, quite good indeed," Genma responded, still glancing Kasumi's way. He was no good at making 'happy talk' for the benefit of others and sounded awkward trying. Kasumi stabbed a slice of pineapple and was just raising it to her lips when she caught sight of Tatewaki Kuno and his sister, Kodachi, entering the restaurant. Frozen in place, afraid even the slightest movement would attract their attention, she followed the pair with her eyes. When they disappeared deeper in the restaurant, she drew a deep breath of relief. What a strange coincidence that they should be in Hawaii the same time Nabiki is getting married. Unless... She gasped at her conclusion.

She was about to mention her observation to the fathers when she heard the siblings take a booth directly next to theirs. Only a short wall and a virtual jungle of plants prevented the two parties from discovering each other. Motioning for the men to silently lean forward into an improvised huddle, Kasumi whispered:

"The Kunos just came in and they're right over there." She pointed to the jungle next to their table.

"What?" Genma asked in a loud voice before being shushed by Kasumi. He nodded and they all leaned over towards the jungle, listening to the Kunos' conversation.

"Well, brother dear." Kodachi sounded annoyingly smug. "How many weddings do you have left on your pathetic little list?"

"Only two, my sharp-tongued sibling, I have a good feeling about this day." Holding a butter knife aloft like a bokkan, he loudly crowed: "Today, I shall put an end to this foolish wedding and punish that rapscallion for running off with my beloved to be surreptitiously joined." The entire restaurant fell silent as everyone stared at the duo.

Kodachi sighed. "You're such an idiot."

"Fear not," Kuno replied, his voice dripping with condescension. Reactions to his public outburst obviously had no effect on him. "We will find them today."

Quickly, Kasumi and the two fathers scrambled for the door, bent over double to avoid being seen by the Kunos. Once safely outside the restaurant, Kasumi turned with a serious expression to the men.

"I don't know just why those two wish to disrupt Jeff and Nabiki's wedding but we must warn everyone," she insisted.

"I'll find Nabiki and tell her," Soun volunteered.

"And I'll track down Ranma and Akane," Genma offered as he started for the front doors.

"Hurry, both of you. I'll keep an eye on the Kunos until you get back," Kasumi said as she started for a position where she could watch the uninvited 'guests' without being seen. "Mother, why didn't you warn me about this?" she muttered. Her mother's silence only increased her feeling of unease. Something bad was going to happen, she could just feel it.

Mr. Tendo easily found Nabiki and the other girls at the bridal shop. Standing on a platform for last minute alterations to her wedding dress, Nabiki looked stunning. So beautiful, that Soun Tendo almost forgot what he came there for.

"What do you think, Daddy?" Nabiki said turning slightly each way to show off her dress.

"Absolutely beautiful," he answered, his eyes beginning to water.

"Not kawaii?" she asked with a little pout.

"Kawaii is for unmarried girls, my daughter." Soun choked slightly trying to hold back his tears at the sight of his little girl all grown up. "A married woman is beautiful."

That seemed to satisfy Nabiki enough to turn to her friends. "See, my poor kawaii little bridesmaids, Daddy knows best." Yuka and Sayuri only giggled together in response.

"I know you didn't come all this way just to see me in my wedding dress, Daddy," Nabiki prompted.

"Wha... oh, yes," Soun Tendo started, shaking himself out of the trance. "We may have a little problem, my daughter. The Kunos are here."

"So?" Nabiki seemed unconcerned. "We can make room for a couple of uninvited guests in the church. Besides, I'm sure they brought an expensive gift."

"More like a cheap toaster," Yuka said to her friend in a low voice. They both giggled again.

"I don't think so. We overheard them this morning at breakfast. They intend to disrupt your wedding, perhaps even stop it."

"What?" Nabiki gasped. "I don't believe it."

"It's true, daughter. Kasumi, Mr Saotome and myself clearly heard them plotting."

Nabiki stared over their heads as she pondered her father's news. "I never knew Kuno felt this way. Sure, we had some business dealings with each other but that was never more than business. I've barely spoken to him since I started going out with Jeffrey." She paused to think about it some more before looking directly at her father. "I don't understand this," she said. "It has be that witch Kodachi's doing. She never liked the way I took advantage of her stupid brother."

"Nabiki, we've got to tell Jeffrey," Yuka suggested.

"NO!" Nabiki declared with a stamp of her foot. "This is supposed to be MY big day - MY wedding. If Jeff knows about the Kunos, he'll have more security there than the Imperial Palace. I will NOT turn my wedding into an armed camp! I will not skulk and hide from a couple of stupid rich kids."

"I don't know, Nabiki..," Sayuri started.

"Besides, those idiots probably won't even find the church. We never publicized the wedding." Nabiki gave her two friends a hard look before returning to the fitting. Yuka and Sayuri exchanged glances with Mr. Tendo and shrugged their shoulders. Nabiki, as usual, was going to have her way.

Genma finally found Ranma and Akane at a nearby park. Gasping for breath he placed his hand on his son's shoulder to steady himself.

"What's the matter, Pop?" Ranma chided. "Gettin' soft?"

"Ranma, he looks like he's seen a ghost," Akane said, fanning the older Saotome with her towel. Moments later, Genma caught enough of his breath to convey his news. Akane only scowled. Why would the Kunos come to Hawaii to stop her sister's wedding? That didn't make sense.

Ranma seemed unconcerned. "I can handle Kuno and his sister." "Well, we better do it before the wedding. If they actually show up at the church, the whole thing will be a disaster," Akane warned. "You remember what they did when WE tried to get married?"

"She's right, boy," Genma observed, still breathing hard. "A good martial artist knows when and where to fight and doing it at a religious shrine in the middle of a family member's wedding is not the right place or time."

"When motivated, Kuno can be very dangerous. And his sister is insane," Akane added. Ranma grew quiet, looking like he was considering their advice. Suddenly, he grabbed Akane's arm and pulled her a few feet further away from his father, regarding her with a serious frown.

"What is it, Ranma?" she asked.

"You remember that book I was reading the other night?"

"The one about Western wedding customs?"

Ranma nodded, casting a quick glance at his father. "It said that traditionally the best man and the maid of honor were named to protect the bride and groom."

"So...?" She really had no idea what he was getting at.

"The bride and groom selected these people for their loyalty, honesty, and willingness to do everything in their power to protect them even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice." Akane blinked and stared at her fiance , trying to comprehend what he meant by 'ultimate sacrifice.'

"Akane, we are honor bound to protect Jeff and Nabiki until the end of the ceremony... with our lives."

"Oh, that's ridiculous." She dismissed his assertion with a sudden flap of her arms.

"It's in the book, Akane," he insisted. "I read it twice to make sure I understood." He paused and made a futile gesture with his hands. "I know neither of us knew that when we agreed to the task. But since we accepted, we are honor-bound to fulfill our duties." Akane considered what he'd had said for several seconds. After all, it was her sister they were talking about. She would do anything to protect her from harm. But the relationship between Nabiki and Ranma was usually more one of 'predator and prey' and he didn't even know Jeffrey well enough to sacrifice himself for the American. So why was he willing to fight to the death for either of them?

"I don't get it," she finally admitted, her head cocked slightly, one eyebrow raised.

"It's a matter of honor, Akane." He frowned at the pavement. "I am honor bound to fulfill the duties of the position I accepted."

"But to do this for Nabiki..."

"Honor demands it. I would never knowingly do something dishonorable," Ranma admitted. "Besides, she's your sister." Akane smiled to herself. So that was it. He was doing this as much for her as Nabiki. Maybe he really was growing up. Maybe he really did care about her.

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "If you're willing to go up against both the Kunos, then we'll do it together."

"Really?" He looked surprised at both the kiss and her willingness to fight with him.

"Just don't get in my way, pervert," she chided.

"How did I ever get tangled up with such a tomboy?" he asked with a smile. Akane's eyes rolled towards his father before she smiled back at Ranma.

"Oh, yeah. I remember now."

---

With renewed urgency, all the members of the wedding party made it to the church on time. Still oblivious to the potential problem of the Kunos, Mrs.
Lawrence went about her final preparations. With an official-looking clipboard full of papers in hand, she seemed to be in constant motion, scurrying here and there, making sure everything was in place. It was her son's big day and she was determined that everything be perfect.

Mr. Lawrence joined Mr. Tendo in greeting each of the guests at the door. Demonstrating his many years of experience at formal receptions, he proved the perfect host. He greeted each family member like a head of state before introducing Soun Tendo. The English-deficient father of the bride could only smile and bow at each guest, unsure what they were saying to him.

The girls claimed the large meeting room at the back of the church while the boys drew the minister's small office and study up front to get ready. Kasumi and Akane helped prepare their sister, constantly referring to 'The Idiots Guide to Weddings' to make sure they were doing everything right. Yuka and Sayuri kept stopping at the only window for long looks at the parking lot, checking for the Kunos.

"Nabiki, I've been wondering about something," Kasumi said as she fiddled with her sister's bridal bouquet. "Mother and Father were married at home with a traditional Shinto ceremony..."

"Oneechan," Nabiki said while looking out the window. "Jeff and I have already discussed that. When we return to Japan, we were going to surprise you all with just such a ceremony in the family dojo."

"Really?" Kasumi's smile looked like she wasn't certain why her sister would agree so readily.

"It's the least I can do for Mother," Nabiki replied with a dreamy expression. "Besides, I want to wear one of those white silk kimonos."

Akane and Kasumi chuckled together at the idea of Nabiki Tendo, a girl more at home in Western clothes, wearing the heavy, ultra-confining traditional Japanese wedding kimono.

"Anyway, I want to invite all my schoolmates."

"Huh?" Akane looked stunned. It was well known that Nabiki wasn't on the best of terms with ANY of her classmates at Furinkan High. "Why them?"

"Guests bring money to Japanese weddings, don't they? Six hundred guests at twenty thousand yen apiece is means I'll be rich."

"Nabiki, we can't FIT six hundred guests in the dojo," Kasumi corrected.

"Then they can watch in shifts," Nabiki replied with a shrug.

"But you're already rich," Akane noted.

"That's Jeffrey's money. I want my own. Besides, you can't blame a girl for wanting to make a little cash," Nabiki replied with a smug grin. Yuka and Sayuri exchanged glances and groaned. Some things never change.

In the minister's office, they guys were nervously preparing. At least, Jeffrey was nervously preparing. He tried three times to tie his little bow tie without success.

"I can't do this," he finally admitted, snatching the offending accessory from his neck. His mother was right again. He should have taken the snap-on tie instead.

"Having trouble, boy?" Mr. Saotome asked as he approached.

Jeff rubbed his eyes and stared in the mirror. "Mr. Saotome, when you got married, were you so nervous you couldn't even tie your bow tie?"

"Boy, a trained martial artist is always in control of his environment." Genma smiled confidently.

"Even your bow tie?"

"Kimonos don't have bow ties," Genma replied.

"How about your shoe laces?"

"Traditional formal wear does not include shoes with laces."

"Did you have ANY trouble at all?"

"Of course not," Genma said with a satisfied grin. "Why don't you sit down, my boy, and I'll tell you how a real martial artist copes with such difficulties."
Jeff's face went through several changes as he tried in vain to figure out what Mr. Saotome meant by that. A lecture, especially one of Genma Saotome's rambling allegorical parables was NOT what he needed right now. In desperation, he looked to Ranma for help. Ranma just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm going outside for a little air," Ranma said, stepping into the hall.

"NO wait...," Jeff blurted before words failed him. He really didn't want to be left alone with a man who thought it was a good training technique to hang his own son upside down and covered with fish parts in a pit full of hungry cats.

"Don't go far, Ranma," Mr. Saotome warned. "The wedding will begin soon." Ranma responded with a wave over his shoulder.

Outside, Ranma stretched and looked casually around. He didn't much like the tight confinement of his tuxedo. If he had to fulfill his 'best man' duties and fight to protect the bride and groom, he would have to shed most of his clothes to be at his best. He wondered what ever happened to the Kunos. He and Akane spent all their time before they had to leave for the church looking for the pair. A few of the locals who spoke Japanese were little help. It was tourist season in Hawaii and the island seemed full of Japanese tourists. Weeding out two specific Japanese, even a pair as unique as the Kunos, proved too much to ask.

He was staring at a nearby grove of palm trees and trying to think of what he might have to do if they showed up when something cold struck the back of his neck. Instinctively, he covered the spot with his hand. It was wet - cold and wet. Something trickled down his neck, disappearing under his collar. Spinning around, ready to confront his assailant, he hesitated when he noticed it was a young blonde boy with a water pistol. The kid responded by grinning mischievously.

Ranma felt the familiar stirring that always accompanied his transformations. He fought the urge as hard as he could but it was like trying to halt a hiccup. With a gasp, he felt his body change. His chest ballooned with growing breasts, stretching his tuxedo to the breaking point. His hips widened, splitting one of the side seems. When his body shrank a few inches, his hands and feet seemed to retreat part-way into his clothes. In an instant, the transformation was complete. He was now a she and regarded the boy with a steely glare.

The boy's expression went from grinning about his ambush to stunned surprise. It was a scene that would be repeated for years in his nightmares - and later in his pubescent dreams. For several seconds, the kid's eyes impossibly wide, he stared at the 'guy who suddenly became a girl'. Dropping his water pistol, he bolted for the parking lot, frantically yelling for his mother. With a sharp curse, Ranma scrambled the opposite direction, back inside the church before slamming the door shut behind him. For a couple of seconds, Jeff and Mr. Saotome stared at the trembling red-headed girl in what was left of Ranma's tuxedo.

Jeff broke the silence with a groan. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Some kid shot me with a water gun!" Ranma-chan screeched, slamming her fist against the door.

"You let a Western child sneak up on you?" Genma yelled. "Oh, where have I failed?" He cast his eyes skyward. Ranma-chan took one step towards her father, a low growl escaping through clenched teeth. Not wanting to have to explain an exit hole in the church roof, Jeff stepped between them.

"Save it for later," he said, waving Genma aside and directing Ranma into the minister's study. There on the hotplate was a copper tea pot, simmering with very warm water.

"You planned for this, didn't you?" Ranma-chan said. She acted a little surprised and embarrassed that Jeff had anticipated her curse.

Jeff just shrugged and handed Ranma-chan the tea pot. "It was Kasumi's idea. I guess she knows you and your dad."

Ranma could only grunt in response as he took the kettle. Why did things always seem to happen to him? He barely had time to splash some of the hot water over his head before Jeff returned with a dry tuxedo.

"Good thing you didn't get drenched," Jeff observed. "I didn't pack any underwear."

Reverend Hasakawa scurried up the hallway heading for the back door. Throwing it open, he leaned out, looking both directions. The sound of a mower could be heard coming from somewhere nearby. With a sigh, he turned to the only other person in the hall; Genma Saotome.

"Saotome-san, would you do me a favor?" he asked Genma in Japanese. "Would you go out and ask Mr. Fujimoto to hold off mowing the grass until later this afternoon? I've been so busy this week I forgot to tell him about the wedding.

"Well..." Genma looked into the study at Jeff and Ranma. Suspecting the reason for Genma's hesitation, the reverend added: "He speaks Japanese."

"Oh, in that case, I'd be happy to help," Mr. Saotome said, adjusting his tuxedo coat.

Stepping out the back door, Genma looked left and right. He couldn't see the man anywhere. He didn't hear a mower either. If the man had already quit mowing, this job should be a piece of cake. Still Genma had to be sure. Perhaps the man was on the other side of the church. A quick check there revealed only an unattended mower parked under a tree but no Mr. Fujimoto. A quiet mower and no one to operate it.

Figuring his job was done because the man had stopped mowing, Genma retraced his steps to the back door. Pausing in the warm sun, he stretched and yawned. This was usually the time of day when he took his nap. Naps were important to a good martial artist. A small boy wearing a scaled down suit wandered across the grass nearby, his head down like he was looking for something. When the boy looked up, his face wore an expression of worry. Genma smiled at the boy and added an abrupt nod. The boy just forced a smile his way before returning to his search. Genma thought it would probably be a good idea to see if he could help. After all, that was part of being a principled martial artist. Especially when it didn't seem to involve too much work.

Mr. Saotome took only a couple of steps towards the boy, intent on asking what he was looking for, when the underground sprinkler system came to life, its first spurt of water striking Genma square in the back. His transformation was as swift as his son's had been but with more mess. He felt his body bloat, filling his already tight tuxedo to the bursting point. His shoes ripped apart from his sudden growth of long claws. His chest expanded until the buttons on his shirt shot off in rapid succession. The rest of his clothes suffered similar fates, leaving the fully grown panda that remained swathed in the tattered remnants of what was once an expensive tuxedo.

For several seconds, the boy stood terrified as the panda seemed to tower over him. An instant later, the boy screamed, Mr. Saotome growled a panda version of 'Oh crap!', and the two ran in opposite directions. Genma hesitated between the church back door and the woods. He'd tried hiding outdoors once before and all that got him was a one-way ticket to the zoo. The church was his only choice.

Hearing the commotion outside and seeing the sprinkler system running, it wasn't hard for Ranma to figure out what happened. He led Jeff in a scramble for the back door. Yanking it open, they were just in time to evade a fat panda trying to dive through it to safety. Unfortunately, the panda was every bit as fat as he looked. His body jerked to a halt when the widest part of him got wedged in the narrow doorway.

"What do we do?" Ranma asked as he hugged the wall.

"PULL!" Jeff yelled, grabbing one of the panda's front paws. The two were furiously tugging on Genma-panda's paws in an attempt to get him into the church when they heard another voice from outside. It sounded like the missing Mr. Fujimoto. After a shout of surprise, the man screamed something in Japanese about 'a monster' before his words dissolved into gibberish and faded as he ran away.

"We've - got - to - get - him - inside," Jeff yelled with every tug on Genma-panda's paw. He and Ranma finally resorted to placing their feet on the wall next to the door, getting a good grip on the panda's shoulders before pulling with all their might. It took one more violent tug along with the panda sucking in his rotund gut before Genma-panda popped free. The three of them landed on the floor in a loud 'thump'. The sounds of footsteps approaching caused another flurry of activity. Scrambling to his feet, Jeff pushed, prodded, and practically kicked Genma-panda into the minister's office before joining him and slamming shut the door. Ranma quickly shut the back door and lunged for the minister's office door, leaning as nonchalantly as possible against the door's frame.

Ranma tried to maintain his unconcerned look as Reverend Hasakawa came quickly down the hall.

"I just heard that there was a wild animal out back or something," the minister said looking at the closed back door.

"Nope. No wild animals here. Just us humans" Ranma knew he looked guilty as sin but tried to cover it with a nervous laugh.

"I'm glad to hear that. Where's Mr. Lawrence and your father?" the minister asked as if he had just noticed their absence.

Ranma stumbled for an answer long enough for the good reverend to become suspicious about why Ranma was standing in front of the door to his study.

"Are they in there?" he asked.

"Well...sorta."

"Why, I wonder?"

"Ah... well I think they're talking... um... about wedding things." Ranma was no good at telling lies. His only seemed to work on Akane.

"Of course." Reverend Hasakawa looked as if he suddenly had it all worked out. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Certainly, the boy's nervous about getting married." He leaned closer. "I've seen it before. All it usually takes is for an older married man to talk to him for a few moments in private and he calms right down. I thought Mr. Lawrence was acting a bit nervous today." The good reverend chuckled lightly. "In any case, I've got to get ready myself. So..." He knocked on the door.

It was opened immediately by Jeff. "Yes?"

"I just need to retrieve my vestments and prepare for the ceremony, if you don't mind." The reverend squeezed past into his study. Over by the closet, a very human-looking Genma Saotome was just putting on his tuxedo jacket. Smiling at the reverend, Mr. Saotome bowed politely and left the room, casting a quick look at Jeff as he passed. Reverend Hasakawa stepped over to his closet and paused looking down at the wet floor.

"That's odd," he said, switching to an examination of the ceiling. "I thought they fixed that leak in the roof last month."

"I'm afraid that's my doing," Jeff admitted, reaching for a roll of paper towels. "It happened when we tried to make some tea to calm me down." He laughed self-consciously.

"Oh, I see. I'll clean it up later." The reverend slid open one side of the twin closet doors. Jeff instinctively held his breath. It was in the other side he had stashed Ranma's wet tuxedo. Mumbling excuses, Jeff bolted out the door, dragging Ranma with him. It had been close but no real damage was done. Surely, nothing else could go wrong.

Unfortunately, there was plenty wrong. The caretaker, using a phone in the church office had just called the police.

Exactly on time, Reverend Hasakawa herded Jeff and Ranma out to their positions at the front of the church. He then took his place in front of the altar with a satisfied expression before nodding to the organist. The rotund woman responded with a nod of her own and began caressing the organ's keys, filling the church with exactly the right atmosphere for a wedding to be remembered.

Drawing a deep breath, Jeff scanned those in attendance. His parents sat on the aisle in the front row of pews. His father was wearing the same vacant expression he had honed over years of boring state functions. His mother stared back at him with teary eyes. This was obviously a big day for her as well. Across from them on the aisle Mr. Saotome sat alone, tugging uncomfortably at the collar of his replacement tuxedo.

The rest of the tiny church was less than half-full. Not many of the groom's relatives could make the trip to Hawaii. Jeff wondered if he'd done the right thing by insisting all the security and police back off after the bachelor party fiasco. At least having them in the church would have filled a few more seats.
As the music changed from atmosphere to something appropriate for a bridal procession, Kasumi appeared at the back of the church. Wearing a pastel pink dress that left no doubt she was a grown woman, she smiled nervously as she began her slow walk up the aisle. Glancing over at six of his Marine friends who were able to make the wedding, Jeff fought a frown when he noticed how they were practically ogling her. He made a note to speak to them later about how he expected his new sister-in-law to be treated.

When she reached the front of the church, Kasumi paused to bow formally to Reverend Hasakawa. While not in the traditional order of service, it WAS a Westernized Japanese / Christian sort of wedding. The girls apparently felt free to improvise. Akane came next in a matching pink dress that confirmed she was far from a tomboy. Jeff checked Ranma's reaction and saw him staring at her with a strange look on his face. Whatever he was thinking, it couldn't have been that she was less than cute. She must have noticed as well. Her satisfied smile evolved into a blush.

Once Akane bowed and took her position next to Kasumi, a short pause in the music was matched by a skip in Jeff's heart. Here it comes, he thought. The day that would change his life forever. Did he really want this? Was he ready? Did he think this through? Did he have time for a quick cold shower? Everything was happening so fast. He had little time to answer such questions as the organist began to play the 'Wedding March'. The first cord caused Jeff to flinch. He swallowed hard and licked his dry lips. His eyes never left the open door in anticipation of Nabiki's arrival.

The appearance of Nabiki holding the arm of her father, caused him draw a deep breath. When she stepped into the brighter lights of the church, Jeff stopped breathing - if only for a moment. She was even more beautiful than in his dreams. Her magnificent white wedding dress sparkled from just the right amount of beadwork while the upper half of her dress seemed to mold itself to her body. Just beneath her veil, the material was scooped enough so that everyone could see the tip of her 'promise tanto' through the modest lace mesh of her bodice, its silver glistening in the lights of the room. Jeff had heard of such things in Japan but never expected Nabiki, of all people, to be wearing one. He wondered what other surprises she had in store for him.

The train of her dress would have looked right at home in the movie 'Sound of Music', its length being almost 15 feet long. He remembered Yuka's tale of how someone at the dress shop had jokingly remarked that the length of a bride's train indicated how long she hoped the marriage would last. Determined to take no chances, Nabiki ordered the longest train the dress shop could make.

At the front of the church, Soun Tendo halted. Crying freely, he symbolically released his daughter to join her new husband. She hesitated long enough to turn to her father and smile. Jeff could only imagine what was going through the old man's mind at that moment. Like all fathers before him, Soun Tendo probably saw the child who played in the yard, the young girl who endured the death of her mother, and finally the teenager who struggled with growing up female in a male-dominated Japanese society. Most of all, she was his little girl who had grown into a woman. Nothing would ever be the same in the Tendo house with her gone.

Almost reluctantly, he released his little girl to the care and protection of someone else and then cried like never before. Without a word, he bowed towards his daughter before moving stiffly to his place in the front pew next to Mr. Saotome. His friend patted him on the back and appeared to be muttering a few supportive words. Nabiki turned to Jeff. Even through her veil he could see her crooked little smile as she moved to stand next to him. He could feel himself beginning to sweat in the air conditioned chapel.

As the organ concluded its music, the minister began reading in Japanese from his book. "Dearly beloved..," he began. Before he could continue, the doors in the back of the church burst open and two policemen stumbled in. They were followed by four zookeepers carrying nets and tranquilizer guns.

"No need to worry. Everything is under control, folks," said one policeman. "We have a report of a wild panda seen climbing in the back door of this church." Everyone in the wedding party looked at Mr. Saotome. Genma just tugged at his collar and scanned the ceiling.

"I don't believe this," Jeff groaned, just loud enough for Nabiki to hear.

"Did that fat idiot do something to ruin my wedding?" she growled in a low voice. Even through her veil, Jeff could see her eyes narrow like they always did when she suspected something was up.

"Not yet," Ranma hissed her way, careful to keep his voice low as well.

"It's going to be okay." Jeff tried a reassuring grin on his wife-to-be but it was no match for her 'I-don't-believe-you-for-a-minute' scowl.

"I assure you, gentlemen. I've been all over in the back and saw no sign of a panda," Reverend Hasakawa said in a reassuring manner. "I'm certain these gentlemen, who have been back there the entire time, have not seen anything out of the ordinary either."

"Does an annoying fat guy with glasses count?" Ranma asked, glancing at his father who was now silently whistling at the ceiling.

The Reverend did a double-take Ranma's direction before smiling again at the officers. "See? Nothing to worry about." As the officers considered what to do next, the sound of Mr. Fujimoto shouting Japanese gibberish at other officers in the lobby caused the entire congregation to slowly turn and stare.

"Uh, does that man have a problem?" one of the officers asked the Reverend.

"Well, he used to drink..." Reverend Hasakawa paused thoughtfully. "But he's gotten better." The officers and zookeepers exchanged glances before shaking their heads.

"Okay, I think I get it now." The officer removed his hat to scratch his head. "Looks like a false alarm. Sorry to bother you folks."

As the officers herded the zookeepers towards the lobby, Jeff looked over at Nabiki and shrugged. "False alarm," he echoed, adding a self-conscious chuckle.

Nabiki's frown became a scowl. She leaned close to Jeff. "What really happened?"

"Just a pair of damp Saotomes. Nothing we couldn't take care of," he replied in a soft voice.

Conversations in English as well as Japanese rolled through the church before Reverend Hasakawa held up his hands for quiet. "Well, that was certainly unusual." Turning to Jeff and Nabiki, he smiled like a grandfather. "I'm ready to have another go at it. How about you two?"

"Why not? What else could happen?" Jeff said with a nervous grin. It faded fast when he caught Nabiki's expression. It looked like she wanted to tell him something but was in the midst of reconsidering. Reverend Hasakawa resumed the ceremony and appeared to be making headway, getting to the part where he asks Nabiki if she 'takes this man to be her lawfully wedded husband', when the doors in the back burst open a second time.

After five days of searching, Tatewaki Kuno finally got one right. "My darling Akane, I cannot bear the thought of your marriage to anyone else. I, Tatewaki Kuno, demand this wedding cease and desist." He was waving around a broom handle substitute for his confiscated bokkan. Jeff and Nabiki slowly turned to face the 'Raging Idiot of Japan'. Nabiki lifted her veil with a hand, her eyes narrowed. She couldn't believe the idiot even found the church. His entrance was bizarre, even for him. Akane growled in with anger. She had put up with his nonsense for more than a year and finally had enough.

"Kuno, you idiot! This is not MY wedding, it's Nabiki's wedding!" She paused, her body trembling. "And how dare you yell in here! This is a holy place AND YOU SHOULD NOT YELL IN A HOLY PLACE!" Her voice seemed to echo off the surrounding hills. This appeared to have the desired affect not only on Kuno, who was frozen in place with eyes the size of saucers, but just about everyone else as well. It was so quiet in the church, you could hear the wood age. The only exceptions to this were six fellows quite used to loud noises. After all, they once survived a day at the firing range with Nabiki. Marines quickly surrounded the would-be samurai.

"You say this is not the wedding of Akane Tendo?," he asked almost as if he didn't really believe it himself.

"You got it, Bud," a Marine growled.

"Oh,... well, then... that changes everything," Kuno stammered, his eyes going from one hulking Marine to another.

"You're welcome to stay, young man," Reverend Hasakawa called. It was hard to tell if his plastic smile was due to what was immediately happening or if he was just getting tired of the entire wedding. Faced with the option of sitting quietly as Nabiki got married or being physically ejected from yet another church, Kuno chose to sit quietly and enjoy the rest of the wedding. After all, it wasn't his lovely Akane getting married, just that annoying Nabiki. He could deal later with his rival, the enslaver of women, Ranma Saotome.

"I suppose it would be acceptable to send a gift after I get home?" Kuno asked one of the Marines.

"Sure, why not?"

"Perhaps a cheap toaster or something," he mumbled.

"Well, that's one," Nabiki muttered softly.

Apparently not soft enough as Jeff turned to her with an incredulous look. "Is there something you should be telling me?"

"No," Nabiki said indignantly. "Why do you assume I am hiding something? Is there something you should be telling ME?"

"I already told everyone what I know about the panda business," Jeff insisted. "Why didn't you tell me about Mr. Blue Blunder?"

"That's 'Blue Thunder'!" Kuno corrected from his seat.

"Shut up, kid," snapped one of the Marines.

"WHATEVER!" Jeff growled. "Somehow Noodles-for-Brains found his way to Hawaii. Who's next? Shampoo and her entire Amazon tribe?"

"I didn't ask him to come," Nabiki said, waving her bouquet Kuno's direction. "I don't even like him."

"Now, I'm insulted," Kuno grumbled.

"I said: Shut UP!" the Marine snarled.

"Well, somebody told him we were here. How else did he find us? Why was he even looking?" Jeff flapped his arms as much as his tuxedo would allow.

"I suppose it's too late for you two to elope," Reverend Hasakawa said, leaning against the altar railing.

"YES!" Jeff and Nabiki snarled together.

"Hey, I have only one rule at a wedding: No fighting," the Reverend said holding up one finger. "Save it for after the ceremony."

"Fine, you and I have a lot to talk about when this is over," Jeff said to Nabiki.

"That's telling her, boy," Genma said nodding. "Get control of the woman early."

"SHUT UP, POP!" Ranma yelled. "What do you know about marriage? It's your fault I haven't seen Mom in ten years."

"You could go see her anytime you want," Akane growled, her hands balled into fists at her side. The flowers in her bouquet were practically screaming from her grip. "You're just scared because of your... problem?"

"Problem?" Reverend Hasakawa asked like he was on to something juicy.

"Oh sure, you'd like to see her disembowel me, wouldn't you?" Ranma snarled.

"She just carries that sword because it's a family heirloom," Akane corrected. "She wouldn't really use it on you."

"Sword?" the reverend asked just about anyone who might offer an answer.

"It's no big deal," Jeff said to the reverend. "They just have a few family 'issues' to work out."

"Have they tried counseling?" Jeff sighed in frustration and looked to his parents. They were usually a source of calm control in his life. However, his father's expression was that of profound disbelief. Obviously, all the revelations flying fast and furious had taken their toll on the poor man. His mother was leaning forward, rubbing her temples with her fingers. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. All they wanted was a simple wedding in Hawaii, not an island free-for-all.

"Ranma, darling," the Black Rose of St. Hebereke screeched from the open doors. "Why settle for that scrawny, clumsy, tomboy when you can have a real woman?" Her skimpy leotard certainly confirmed her claim. The cool air of the church made it almost obscene.

"Is that Shampoo?" the Reverend asked.

"No, just a spandex loony from Japan," Nabiki replied.

"Oh, an idol singer." Akane groaned and threw up her hands in disgust. Ranma looked like someone just offered him some of Akane's cooking.

Jeff turned back to Nabiki. "See? I told you there'd be more."

"She doesn't count," Nabiki replied.

"That's IT!" Jeff's mother yelled, slamming her purse to the floor. Apparently Kodachi counted to her. "All the planning, all the money, and THIS is what we get?"
With a determination only a mother could possess, Mrs. Lawrence stomped towards the intruder. Kodachi jerked to a halt, her eyes glued to the advancing woman who was rolling up the sleeves on her dress. Taking a couple of backwards steps, she produced her special rhythmic gymnastics ribbon. Twirling it in a menacing fashion, she raised her arm like a rattlesnake warning.

To Jeff, everything seemed to shift into ultra-slow motion. Akane and Ranma, apparently knowing something about the danger of Kodachi's ribbon, scrambled towards the Kuno girl. However, Akane was having difficulty with her long dress and high heels while Ranma was experiencing similar problems due to his tight-fitting tuxedo. The Marines, clustered around the earlier intruder to guarantee his cooperation, were just starting to hop empty pews as only combat-trained Marines could. Jeff, not knowing just how dangerous Kodachi's ribbon was, sensed that she had the capability to injure his mother - perhaps even worse.

Before he could think of anything to do and even before Ranma, Akane, or the Marines could intervene, Kodachi struck. With a snap of her wrist, the deadly ribbon began its lightning assault. Nothing could stop its attack. Nothing was going to protect his mom now. With a hand motion faster than the human eye could follow, Mrs. Lawrence calmly snatched the striking ribbon out of the air and pulled it taut.

"Impossible!" the girl gasped. The reaction of the rest of the defenders was almost as disarming. Akane and Ranma tumbled together in astonishment, the Marines stopped their head-long charge to watch, and Jeff could only blink. Mrs. Lawrence did something on her own. With a sharp yank on the ribbon, she drew the stunned girl to within arms reach. Her right hand shot forward and closed around the, now terrified girl's throat. Caught in a vise-like grip, Kodachi gagged aloud.

"Young lady," Anne Lawrence calmly said. "This is my only son's special day, the day he pledges his life to the girl he loves. Why you feel it necessary to disrupt it with issues you obviously have with the younger Mr. Saotome is anyone's guess. I should toss you out on your head for what you have done but I'm a good Christian woman. You are welcome to stay and celebrate this union with us. If you behave yourself, you may even join us later for some wedding cake." Her grip tightened as the emotion of her next thought surged forth. "However, if you persist in trying to disrupt my son's wedding, I'M GOING TO DEMONSTRATE JUST HOW PISSED I CAN GET!"

Kodachi's head vibrated vertically as she made little gurgling sounds. Satisfied the girl was willing to cooperate, Mrs. Lawrence relieved her of the ribbon, tippy-toed her over to a seat next to the other unexpected guest and set her down like a puppet.

"Way to go, sis," Kuno hissed sarcastically. Further conversation was cut short by the Marines' return. In spite of their training to protect important people, they had been thwarted twice in one day. This left them in an understandably ugly mood. As for Mrs. Lawrence, she quietly smoothed her dress, patted her hair to check for anything out of place, and calmly walked back to her seat. All eyes in the place followed her in stunned silence. Picking up her purse, she resumed her seat in a lady-like fashion and smiled sweetly at her son.

"M-Mom?" Jeff stammered. "How did you do that?"

"Well, dear. You didn't think you were Mr. Sato's only student, did you?"

"You WHAT?" Mr. Lawrence gasped.

Anne Lawrence patted her husband's arm. "We'll talk later, dear."

"Wait a minute," Jeff said, looking around. "Where IS Master Sato? I thought he would be here."

"He's probably back in Japan, dear," Anne Lawrence said.

"I wouldn't bet on that," Nabiki mumbled. Jeff considered asking what she meant but figured it could wait. Master Sato came and went as he chose. Fighting with Nabiki over what she knew or didn't know wouldn't improve the situation. Better to just let it drop.

"Okay, let's pick it up where you left off," he said to the minister.

"You sure?" Reverend Hasakawa asked, his eyes darting to the open door as if waiting for the next loony to arrive.

"He's right," Nabiki interrupted. "There's no point in letting a few interruptions spoil our wedding."

"Fine. Anything to get this over with." The Reverend nervously opened his wedding book again.

Once again, the good reverend restarted the service and, while still glancing around for the next interruption, actually got to the part that said: "You may now kiss the bride." As the couple kissed, Mrs. Lawrence cried, Kasumi cried, and Mr. Tendo flooded the carpet. Akane, misty eyed, looked over at Ranma who was watching Jeff and Nabiki kiss. Something told him he was being watched and he quickly locked eyes with Akane.

To Akane, Ranma looked handsome in his tuxedo, even though she could tell he would rather be wearing something else. As she stared at him, she put herself in Nabiki's place, standing before a minister, with a willing Ranma, kissing after being pronounced man and wife. The thought caused her to smile.
However, when Ranma caught her smiling, he just frowned and looked away. She sighed and shook her head. Maybe in a few years he'll be ready. For now, he was still too immature.

The recession went without incident. Ranma reluctantly offered his arm to Akane. Gleefully, she accepted and happily clung to him as they made their way back up the aisle. Kasumi escorted a muttering Mr. Lawrence and a still sobbing Soun Tendo was escorted by the surprisingly calm Mrs. Lawrence. Yuka drew the assignment of escorting Mr. Saotome while Sayuri tended Nabiki's long train.
As Jeff started down the aisle with Nabiki, he got the odd feeling something wasn't right. He couldn't put his finger on exactly what but it had to do with all the strange occurrences in the past week. The police had never solved those mysterious attempts on his life. The perpetrator was still out there. He had shown himself to be, if nothing else, persistent. That meant he was certain to strike again.

Outside, the small crowd showered Jeff and Nabiki with the customary rice as the pair started towards their waiting limousine. A steady stream of strobe flashes marked the wedding photographer's efforts to capture the occasion. Considering his new personal wealth, Jeff thought was kind of odd seeing a mostly empty gravel parking lot. Others in his position would have had a grand wedding with thousands of guests. With a little imagination, Jeff figured he probably could have filled both the lot and the church. He hoped Nabiki didn't mind their wedding being so small.

Holding the rear door open, his back to the rest of the guests, the limo driver grinned through his thick beard. Sun glasses hid his eyes and his driver's cap was pulled down low. By the time Jeff got to the open door, he had a strange but familiar feeling about the man. It wasn't alarm or some sort of warning. It was just a feeling that they had meet before. He tried to dismiss such thoughts when his new wife turned to wave at the photographer. She went on to strike a series of poses, each rewarded by the camera's flash. It really didn't matter about he man. Just as soon as Nabiki got in the car, they'd be off to the hotel and the reception. And then there was the evening to come. No cold shower for him tonight, he thought with almost giddy anticipation. When the driver slowly moved towards him, Jeff took only passing notice. Perhaps the man saw something amiss in the back seat. Then came a glimpse of dark gun metal before something hard jabbed his gut.

"Get in the car, Mr Lawrence," the driver growled. Jeff drew a deep breath and glanced down at the object pressing into his stomach. It was a small, pistol-sized automatic weapon that before this he'd only seen in pictures.

He gulped when he remembered its capabilities. "What's the meaning of this?"

"You wouldn't die in the elevator. You wouldn't die in the limo. You wouldn't even die in your bomb-infested room."

"How do you know about that?"

The man grinned behind his beard. "Get in the car and don't make any sudden moves." Jeff stood his ground, more out of indecision than courage. Not that his options were all that good. He could try to disarm the man but that would most certainly lead to his own demise. He could shield Nabiki with his body but that also would result in tragic consequences - probably for both of them.

He had to think of something and fast. "Did we go to school together?"

"What?" the man gasped, a confused frown crossing his face.

"You know," Jeff said with a small gesture. "In England or something."

"Don't be stupid." Yes, it was stupid but he needed the distraction while he struggled to think of who hated him enough to do something like this.

"You always were the simpleton in the family," the man growled. Now THAT sounded like something he'd heard before - something from five years ago at a family reunion party in California. The man's voice was a little deeper than he remembered but there was no mistake who it was.

"Montgomery Phillips?" he gasped.

"I'm flattered you remember me after all these years," Monty said with a sneer. Remember him? Monty was unforgettable. At that reunion, he spent the entire time impressing all his cousins with how rich he was and making sure they understood how poor they were. He was an insufferable braggart with a superiority complex that could have kept a whole school of psychologists in BMW's for the rest of their lives. What was he doing in Hawaii and why the stick-up? That was a bit low-class for someone of Monty's stature.

"YOU were the one behind all that stuff with the bombs? Somebody could have gotten hurt."

"That was the idea, you twit," Monty growled. "Unfortunately, I hired incompetents. I despise incompetents. Do you have any idea how much they cost me?"
Jeff could only shake his head.

"A bunch! And I STILL had to take care of the problem myself."

"Good help is so hard to find." Jeff glanced around with pleading eyes for ANY kind of help.

"Dad always said that."

"How are your parents?" Jeff asked, stalling for time.

Monty snorted. "I had Mom committed six months ago. I've got Dad in a vase on my mantle." That sounded like something Monty would do. Jeff tried not to let his disgust show. Provoking a man with a weapon that could literally cut you in half wasn't a good idea.

"Of course, I'm not really here. I'm currently in Vegas, spending money like there's no tomorrow." Monty's greasy grin through his thick false beard conveyed a sense of smugness.

"A double?" Jeff didn't really care but figured that an explanation might buy him some time. He could see a pair of Marines, obviously suspicious of the delay, edging their way towards the limo.

"Oh, a little plastic surgery on some useful idiot and some of your money to throw around. Nothing like a casino full of witnesses to make for an air-tight alibi." Monty laughed at his own cleverness. "I used the corporate jet from one of your own companies to fly over here. I'll bet you didn't even know I was on the board of directors."

"I haven't had time. There was this wedding... and all." Jeff made a little gesture towards Nabiki but immediately thought the better of it. Such carelessness could cause Monty to remember her. "Won't the pilot be able to identify you?"

Monty laughed out loud. "Doesn't matter. I caught him smuggling drugs in the plane last spring - a LOT of drugs. As long as I remain silent, he stays free - and loyal."

Monty's expression darkened. "Now, get in the car." As if he sensed the Marines were getting too close, Monty pivoted quickly their way and fired a burst into the air. There was a moment of confusion among the guests with startled screams and a sudden scramble of bodies rearranging themselves, men shielding the women by placing themselves between the gunman and his potential targets. It ended when Monty fired a second burst into the air, freezing everyone where they were. "Now that I have your undivided attention, I want you all to move back inside the church," he said in a calm voice. "Thank you."

"Jeffrey, that man has a gun," Nabiki noted in Japanese, like it was some great news.

"Yes, dear, I see that."

"What does he want?"

"My guess is it has to do with my inheritance."

"OUR money?"

Monty snarled and snapped a deadly look her way. "What's she babbling about?"

"She's just scared," Jeff said, casting a quick glance his wife's way. He hoped she wouldn't reveal how much English she understood.

"Well, she's not as stupid as she looks." Monty's expression lightened.

"I'm guessing this is about the inheritance," Jeff said, hoping to change the subject from Nabiki.

"Of course it's about the damned inheritance! That money should have been MINE!" Monty spit out the words in bitter contempt. "How DARE my grandfather leave his money to you. You're not even a Phillips."

"Monty, I don't know why he did what he did but we can't change that -"

"Oh, yes we can," Monty growled, his weapon again pointing at Jeff's midsection. "All I have to do is get rid of you - and your little geisha."

"Leave her out of it. She doesn't even speak English."

"I might have, if you had died like you were supposed to. But since you are now officially married, she has to die as well." Monty snarled at Nabiki.

"What if I just gave the inheritance to you?"

Monty's grin became predatory. "Are you bargaining for your life? How delicious. But I suppose I should have expected that of a sniveling little coward like you."

"I don't want Nabiki hurt."

"What does he want, Jeffrey?" Nabiki asked, thankfully keeping her words in Japanese.

"If we don't give him the money, he will kill us," Jeff replied in Japanese. Nabiki's face went through a series of pained expressions as she considered the proposition.

"So, what shall I do?" Jeff prodded.

"I'm thinking!" she snapped back. He could see Monty was thinking as well. Having a signed transfer of the inheritance would certainly go a long way towards averting suspicion. It might even be enough so he would let them live. Jeff needed to keep the man talking.

"Monty, why are you putting everyone in the church? Even if they don't see you shoot us, they'll know who did it," Jeff asked his cousin.

Monty chuckled to himself. "All they will know is a man in a beard abducted you at gunpoint. It doesn't really matter anyway." He pulled out of his coat pocket a small device about the size of a cigarette pack. On its face there was a switch, a glowing red light, and most unnerving of all, a large red button. "I had the church wired with enough explosives to vaporize everyone inside. Now, if you don't mind, I'm running a little behind schedule."

"I mean, if we give him the money, what will we live on?" Nabiki asked herself. She sounded genuinely pained at the situation.

"Don't you come with a dowry of some sort?" Jeff asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You've GOT to be kidding."

"How about a family fortune?"

"Not a single yen."

"You're worse off than I was."

"That's why I married you."

"I thought you loved me."

"HEY! Aren't you listening? I've got a gun. I've got a detonator. That means I'm in charge," Monty yelled. "Either you get in the car now or take a bullet. Your choice."

Jeff and Nabiki looked at each other. "The car," they said together. Helping Nabiki into the back seat of the limo, Jeff caught some movement in the trees on the other side. Like a shadow, whatever it was silently slid through the thin woods towards the front of the vehicle. A moment later, a small grapple on a chain seemed to come out of nowhere, wrapping itself around Monty's weapon. Stunned by the suddenness of the attack, he had little time to react before the gun flew from his hand. A heartbeat later, a second knocked the transmitter from his other hand. Jeff watched it arc through the air. If it hit the ground,
it might trigger the explosives. The guests were still too close to the church. With a silent curse he scrambled after the device.

While he'd never played the game himself, he had watched a lot of football on TV with his father. With the transmitter falling rapidly towards the sun-baked earth, Jeff threw himself forward like a receiver lunging for a football. His fingers closed around it as the grass-covered surface rushed towards him. Cradling the transmitter in his hands, he felt the impact of the hard ground and held his breath waiting for the explosion. None came.

Switching the transmitter off, he sighed when the red light went out. Looking up at Monty caused him to gasp aloud. His cousin may have lost his ace in the hole but he had other tricks. Reaching inside his blazer, he produced a pistol which he aimed directly at Jeff. Nabiki must have seen what he was doing because she suddenly kicked the limo door with both feet hard enough to slam it into Monty's body, knocking him backwards a couple of steps. Jeff scrambled to his feet looking for a weapon - any weapon. All he had nothing on him was the transmitter in his hand and a ball point pen in his shirt pocket.

"You BITCH!" Monty yelled, turning the gun towards Nabiki. With no other option, Jeff snatched the pen out of his pocket and threw it like a shuriken. Ten years of daily practice throwing everything that could be used as a weapon paid off. The pen flew straight and true, slamming into Monty's arm and burying itself deep in the muscle. The pistol flew from his hand and dropped through the limo's open sun roof. Howling in pain, Monty staggered from the car.

Blinding bursts of Mienaku Soru smoke bombs momentarily obscured everything near the vehicle. Through the haze, two figures dressed in black suddenly appeared from each end of the vehicle. Twirling a favorite shadow warrior weapon, the Manriki-Gusari, a chain weapon with blunt weights at each end, the figures advanced.

Monty's eyes burned with hatred as he backed away, fishing inside his coat with his good hand for another weapon. "Get back!" he warned. "This doesn't concern you. You can't hurt me. I'm rich." When that didn't work, he tried a little 'bargaining' of his own. "Okay, okay, I won't kill the girl. I just want Jeffrey. All right?"
Neither figure hesitated. They obviously were not here to bargain. Each stalked their quarry like masters of their craft.
As if on a silent command, both black-clad figures simultaneously threw their chained weapons at Monty. Like cowboys roping a steer, their weapons bound his arms to his body and then his legs together. Cursing everything Japanese, he tottered for a moment before toppling to the ground with a thud.

"Sorry for my tardiness," a familiar voice said from behind the limo. "You have no idea how bad traffic is this time of day."

"Master Sato!" Jeff shouted as he tossed the transmitter over his shoulder to Soun Tendo who instantly began to 'Hot Potato' it with Genma. "I knew you wouldn't miss my wedding."

"Miss the wedding of my clan son?" he asked incredulously. "Unthinkable. Besides, I had to pick up some friends at the airport. Did you know they're renovating the snack bars in the international terminal?" Before Jeff could answer, Nabiki popped up in the sunroof, Monty's discarded pistol in her hand.

"FREEZE!"

Jeff and Master Sato sighed together. "Nabiki, we've already got him," Jeff said.

"Oh." Her shoulders sagged. "Does that mean I have to give back the gun?"

"I think that's probably a good idea." Jeff held out his hand. "It's evidence." A couple of Marines familiar with Nabiki's day at the target range and the way she handled a firearm took a step back.

"Too bad. I really like this gun."

"I'll buy you one of your own. Did you switch the safety on?" Jeff asked.

"Of course," Nabiki replied like the question was an insult. Without warning, the weapon discharged. Everyone froze. Jeff looked down at his tuxedo and frowned. There in the inseam of his left trouser leg, not far from the zipper, was a bullet hole. He pinched the fabric between two fingers and pulled it further away from his leg. There were two holes, one where the bullet went in and another where it came out. It had missed ruining his wedding night by less than an inch.

"Ooops." Nabiki forced an embarrassed giggle. One of the Marines fainted. Master Sato sighed. Jeff closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. Nabiki set the pistol very carefully on the roof of the limo and crossed her arms with an embarrassed expression.

"Do you know how close you came to..." Jeff ended with an exasperated growl.

"It's not my fault. You were just standing in the wrong place." Nabiki tried to look defiant but seemed to be having trouble looking her husband in the eye. Her embarrassed expression was preserved by the wedding photographer who had recovered enough to start snapping photos again. The bride and groom were going to have the most interesting wedding album ever seen.

To avoid her husband's frown, Nabiki looked over at the two figures dressed in black and now standing apart but behind their master. One wore a black Hachimaki band around his head that bore a clan crest she had never seen before. Probably one of Master Sato's men. The other's Hachimaki was blood red in color and bearing a crest identical to the one on her tiny amulet, the Clan of the Cold Moon. There ARE others, she thought, swallowing hard. She's not the last. There really is a clan.

She caught the eye of her clan's shadow warrior but something didn't look right. While the other ninja was stocky and solidly built, her's looked slighter and more... feminine. It's a woman. A woman with a slightly crooked posture, like someone with a bad back, but a woman none the less. She felt the sudden urge to run over and rip off the mask that covered the lower half of the warrior's face. She had to know who this person was, to talk to her, to ask about her mother's clan.

"We will meet again, Nabiki-sempai," the female ninja said in a flat voice. "But only once more." Before anyone could say or do anything, the she turned and sprang into the woods, disappearing as silently as she had arrived.

"What did she mean by that?" Jeff asked his wife as they both watched her clan warrior disappear. Nabiki frowned in disappointment.

"I have no idea," she said without so much as a sideways glance at her husband. "But she said we would meet again. I suppose I will have to let her choose the time and place."

Off in the distance, they could hear the sound of many sirens approaching. Jeff looked at Master Sato who only smiled while forming a complicated intertwining of his fingers that represented one of his lessons.

"Do you remember your training?" the old man asked, his fingers stopping in a particular pattern. Jeff recognized what it meant and how it applied here.

"Allies come in many forms, all should be used," he said. Master Sato nodded and disappeared into the woods, along with his remaining shadow warrior. Jeff knew he would see the old man again soon.

The arrival of Honolulu Police cars, the FBI, and several other law enforcement agencies filled the church parking lot. Emergency Medical Technicians circulated amongst the guests, checking to see if everyone was okay. Interviews were conducted on the spot and to everyone's annoyance, all were told to not leave town. Jeff ducked their questions by insisting he would file a complete report later but he was kinda busy right now. Something about leaving for his honeymoon. Besides, he reasoned, they already had Monty, the gun and the explosives. What more could he tell them?

"We'll meet you at the reception," he called to his parents. A pair of Marines hopped in the front seat of the limo, determined to take over both the driving and security roles. From the open roof of the limousine, Nabiki cocked her arm to throw the bouquet. Yuka, Sayuri, and Kasumi recovered enough to join a couple of Jeff's unmarried female relatives in eagerly awaiting her throw. If Akane was in the group, she was well screened by the others or all the security men milling about.

Choosing not to wait for her wayward sister, Nabiki flung the bouquet towards the awaiting girls. It bounced through several hands before smacking Akane in the face and dropping into her hands. She had edged towards the limo to see what all the other girls were so excited about but couldn't see over the taller people. She never saw the bouquet coming. Holding the flowers up with a questioning expression, she glanced around for someone to tell her what it all meant.

"Looks like you're next to get married," Nabiki chirped. Akane's face brightened as she realized what the custom meant for her. She hugged the bouquet and began to look for Ranma. It took only a moment for her to find him and even less time for him to notice her odd expression. With a look of panic, he bolted for freedom.

"No way, Akane!"

"Ranma no baka!" Akane yelled, hiking up her skirt and kicking off her shoes. "You gotta! It says so in the book!"

"I don't care. It's a stupid book anyway." Ranma dodged around a squad car and doubled back towards the church.

"Ranma Saotome, you release that woman this instant," Kuno demanded. "Don't listen to him, Akane. Fight his mind control." Obviously determined to deal with the 'enslaver' of his sweet Akane Tendo, Kuno broke away from the remaining Marine guards and began chasing Ranma as well.

"Ranma, darling!" Kodachi screeched before following her brother. "Wait for me, my love!" Soon all three were chasing Ranma through the parking lot, around and over official vehicles, and dodging law enforcement officers who made half-hearted attempts to grab them.

"You certainly have a strange family," Jeff said as he leaned with an elbow on the limo roof next to his wife.

"Yes, but I've gotten used to them - and so will you," Nabiki replied before bending forward to give him a kiss. The wedding photographer obligingly snapped a picture.

"I hope this doesn't mean we're in the Shinobi business."

"Oh, I shouldn't think so. After all, shadow warriors and ninjas don't really exist," Nabiki said, folding her arms and leaning on the roof as well. "They're figments of Hollywood's imagination."

Jeff slowly turned to look Nabiki in the eye. Was she putting him on? He had to chuckle when he noticed her complete lack of expression.

"What about the clan, Nabiki?" he asked with a serious frown. This Shinobi business was going to be a complication he hadn't expected.

"I'll be too busy spending your money and showing you what a good wife I can be to deal with such myths and legends." Jeff wanted to respond, knowing how deep his new wife was already into the clans, but chose instead to just wait and see. Time would tell if this new horizon for his wife was full of Shinobi prophecies or domestic bliss.

"May we live in interesting times," he mumbled in English as he watched Akane chase Ranma across the tops of several squad cars. "Interesting times, indeed."