Chapter 8
Stella sat there like a deer caught in the headlights, her daughter staring at her with innocent eyes full of questions. Questions that she wasn't mentally prepared to answer, at least not yet. She herself is still trying to figure out the situation; it's only been a little over six months or so since she found out the truth. She was still struggling with the news herself, and now she had to try and explain to her six-year-old something she herself was still piecing together. She's not even sure if Haley will even understand the truth at her age. She's always told people that Haley was born naturally gifted with a high level of intelligence. She believes Haley is wiser than most kids her age, but will she be able to comprehend that her cousins are her half-brothers and that her daddy is their daddy, or will it confuse her more, and will she be upset? Will she hate her dad? Is she going to need therapy afterward? So many questions were running through Stella's mind.
"Daddy, can I have some ice cream?" Madison's voice knocked Stella out of her thoughts. She looks over at Madison, who was looking at her dad with puppy-dog eyes.
"How about I make you one of Uncle Matt's giant ice cream Sundays?" Matt tells her.
Madison's eyes light up. "Yes, please, can I have one, Daddy?"
Kelly kisses the top of her head and says, "Yeah, of course, you can."
"Thank you, Daddy," Madison said as she took off, running to the kitchen.
"Uncle Matt, can you make me one too?" Haley asked as Matt was walking out of the room.
"Yeah, if your mom says it's okay."
"Can I, mama?" Haley asked, looking back at her mom.
Stella was relieved. "It's fine with me, baby." Haley kissed Stella's cheek and ran out of the room.
Gabby walked over to Stella and sat down beside her. "Well, at least you have a little bit more time to process stuff while she's distracted by ice cream."
Stella nods. "True, I don't know how to even start the conversation."
Gabby wrapped her arm around her shoulders, and Stella laid her head on Gabby's shoulder. "Just be honest with her, take her questions as they come, and answer them the best you can."
"I don't think you should tell her right now." Kelly chimed in. Stella and Gabby gave him a confused look. "I mean, she deserves to know the truth, but I just feel that she's too young; she's six, and I don't think she's going to fully understand the whole situation. I think it's best to wait till she's a teenager or even a preteen; that's just my opinion."
Gabby shrugged and said, "I can see where Severide's coming from."
Stella looked at Gabby, then at Kelly. "And what do you expect me to do? lie to her?" she asked in an irritated tone. "She asked me directly if her dad was her cousin's dad. I can't pretend like she never asked me that question, and I can't tell her no, he's not, because that's lying to her, and I promised her and I promised myself a long time ago that I would never keep secrets from her."
"I'm not saying to lie to her, and I get that she asked you directly. I'm saying she's six, and six-year-olds can ask questions today and forget about them tomorrow, so chances are that she might not even remember asking you that tomorrow."
Stella was getting annoyed now. "Well, she's not like most six-year-olds. And I know my daughter better than you know her, so when she asks a question, even if she gets distracted, the question is going to come back up. It might be tonight when I tuck her in; it could be tomorrow morning when she's eating breakfast; it could be two weeks from now or a month from now, but the question will come back up. Avoiding the question is not the answer Kelly."
"I know you know her better than me, and I'm not trying to upset you. I'm just saying that it's a lot for a 6-year-old to take in, and you don't want to confuse her. She is not going to understand and...
"I'm aware that it's a lot for a six-year-old to take in, and I know it's going to confuse her, and it's going to be hard for her to understand," she said, interrupting him. "And I know this because I'm confused myself, and I've known for over six months and I still don't understand it. I still have tons of questions that will never be truly answered because Grant's not here to answer them, so it doesn't matter when or how I tell her honestly. If I tell her now or if I wait till, she's twelve or sixteen or twenty-one, it's still going to confuse her and she's still not going to understand because the person that causes this situation is not here to answer the questions and I can't give her all the answers she's going to probably want to know because I myself don't know."
Gabby and Kelly exchanged looks, both knowing she was getting upset. "I'm not trying to argue with you; I'm just saying that there are some things kids don't need to know at this age, and there are some things that should be kept a secret until the right time. I don't think now is the right time; I'm looking out for Haley...
"Well, no one asked you to look out for my daughter. You are not her father; you don't have a say. It's not your business or any of your concerns." Stella said as she interrupted him again. She stood up and sighed loudly. Gabby and Kelly's eyes widen as they watch her. She was furious. "If I go in there right now and tell her or if I decide to wait, it's my decision; how I do it does not concern you; this is between Haley and me." She said this, pointing to herself. "I will decide when it's the right time to tell her; I will decide how to tell her; I don't need your concern or your help; I don't need anyone." She paused. "I'm not trying to be mean; I'm just trying to be honest; this is my life; this is my daughter; this is something we have to face together; we don't need you, Gabby, Matt, or hell, even Jessica; this is between Haley and me only."
Kelly looked down at the floor, her words hitting him harder than she probably even realized. "You're right," he tells her as he stands up. Their eyes connected. "She's not my concern; she's your daughter, and it's your choice. I'm sorry for voicing my opinion; I won't make that mistake again." He said this, giving her a cold stare before walking away.
Stella swallowed hard and watched him walk to the kitchen. She knew he was hurt, and she knew it was her fault and she should apologize, but she couldn't move; she just stood there. The coldness in his voice and the pain in his eyes left her paralyzed. She's never seen that look before.
"Bye, Aunt Gabby," Madison said as she ran into the room to find Gabby a few minutes later.
"You're leaving already?" Gabby asked as she hugged her tightly.
"Yep, Daddy is taking me to a movie," she said excitedly.
Gabby smiled. "Well, have fun and tell me all about it tomorrow."
"I will," Madison said as she went over and hugged Stella. "Bye, Stella."
"Bye Madison," Stella said in a low, hoarse voice.
Madison gave her a strange look and asked, "Are you okay?"
Stella's eyes widen. Surprised that the six-year-old picked up on her tone. "Yes, I'm just tired; I'm really tired."
"Oh, okay, I will see you tomorrow, Stella."
"Okay, have fun tonight," Stella tells her as she runs to the front door. Stella watched the little girl run out of the house. She walked over to the window; Kelly was already in the car waiting for Madison. Yep, she messed things up before they even got started. What the hell is wrong with her, why did she have to attack him like that? He was only trying to help.
"Mama, you haven't answered my question yet," Haley said as she walked back into the living room. Matt followed behind her.
Stella closed her eyes for a moment before turning around and looking at her daughter. "I know, baby." She took a deep breath. "How about we go upstairs and have a little mommy-daughter time?"
Haley's eyes widened in excitement. "Can we put makeup on each other and do our hair?"
Stella smiled. "Yes, we can do makeovers."
"Yay!" Haley exclaimed. "Come on, mama." She said this as she took off up the stairs.
"I'm right behind you, honey," Stella yelled. She looked at Gabby and Matt. "Well, wish me luck!" She said this before walking out of the room.
Gabby sighed. "I hate that Jessica put Stella in this position. God, I want to punch that bitch in the face so bad."
Matt sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. "Violence is never the answer, babe. Jessica will get what's coming to her someday."
"Not soon enough." She said this as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Poor Haley."
"Kelly was really upset when he left," Matt tells her.
"Yeah, I could tell that Stella hurt him with some remarks. I know she didn't mean what she said, but she has a lot on her plate right now. And I think she thought Kelly was telling her how to raise Haley. And her emotions just got the best of her. I'm pretty sure she'll make things right soon."
Matt nods. "Well, Kelly has decided to give her space; he told us not to get upset with him, but he thinks he and Madison should stay clear of our house for a while."
Gabby looks up at him. "He can't just avoid Stella; I understand he's hurt and things were said that shouldn't have been said, but he just can't come around us; that's not fair. To us or Madison. The whole situation is messed up; why make Madison suffer?"
Matt shrugs. "I think it was more of his anger talking than how he really feels. He knows that he can't just avoid Stella. And he knows it won't be fair to Madison to keep her away from us and Haley. When people are upset, they say things without actually thinking."
"Stella starts the firehouse, and for like two days, Jennifer is going to be watching Haley while she's on shift. So, avoiding her is not going to work. "
"I know."
"And no matter how mad he is at her or she is with him, Haley and Madison have built a very strong bond, and it's not fair to put a wedge between them because their parents are having a disagreement."
"I agree, babe. I don't actually believe that he won't be around. Severide likes Stella too much to just give up on her over a disagreement. He probably has something planned, just the way he was talking in the kitchen he's up to something. "
Gabby looked at him with an arched eyebrow. " What could he be up to?"
Matt shrugged his shoulders. " He said he was going to go get some answers," he tells her as they both wonder what Kelly was up to. " I have no clue what he meant, and he didn't go into more detail either."
Stella and Haley had put makeup on each other, and Stella did Haley's hair. Now Haley was brushing her mom's hair and putting ribbons in her hair. "You look pretty, mama."
"All thanks to my wonderful hair stylist," Stella said as she winked at her.
"We need a picture," Haley said as she tied the last ribbon to her mom's hair.
Stella reached for her phone and opened the camera to selfie mode. "Okay, baby, on the count of three."
"Okay," Haley said as she put her face next to her mom's. "1...2...3" Stella snapped a few pictures. "We look beautiful," Haley said.
"Yes, we do, baby." Stella put down her phone. And walking over to her bed, she said, "Hey baby girl, come over here. Mama wants to talk to you about something." She told her as she sat down on the bed.
"Okay, Mama," Haley said with a huge grin. She climbed up on the bed, and Stella wrapped her arms around her and held her close. She kissed the top of her head. So, what are we talking about?"
Stella closed her eyes; apparently, she forgot about the question she asked. And she kind of wanted to say, "Oh, nothing really," and pretend the question was never asked. But she knows that Haley will remember the question again out of the blue one day. So, it's best to just get it over with. "Baby, you know I love you more than anything in this entire world."
"Yep, I'm your world and Daddy's miracle princess."
Stella's eyes filled with tears. "Yes, you are." She tells her as she touches her nose. "You are the best thing to ever happen to us."
Haley frowned. "Mama, is something wrong?"
Stella looked at her confusedly. "Why would you say that?"
"Because you look like you are about to cry, and you have a sad smile."
Boy, was she wise beyond her years? "Mama has something to talk to you about, and I'm scared of how you are going to feel afterward."
"Just tell me, mama."
Stella took a deep breath. "Baby, mama wants to always be honest with you, and I want you to always be honest with me. Even when you're a sassy teenager, even when you grow into a beautiful, busy adult, I want you to always feel like you can talk to me about anything, no matter the subject. I want us to be best friends."
"You are my first best friend, mama; Madison is my second."
Stella's heart melted at her words. "You are my only best friend forever." She tells her with a kiss on the forehead. "Aunt Jessica should have never said anything to you about your dad. And Mama will be having a conversation with her real soon."
"Why did she say it, Mama, if it's not true?"
Stella took another deep breath. "The thing is, baby, is that..." She was struggling with how exactly to put what she wanted to say into words her six-year-old would understand.
"Hold on, mama, I've got to get something," Haley said as she jumped off the bed and went to Stella's closet. A few minutes later, she walked back out of the closet. "I found it."
"You found what you needed, sweetheart."
"Yep, the family album," Haley said as she climbed back on the bed.
Stella was curious about what made her get the photo album. "Why do we need that?"
"I want to look at pictures with you, mama."
"Oh, okay," Stella said as Haley got comfortable back on the bed.
Haley went through the first few pages smiling and laughing. Stella watches her for a moment. She loved her daughter's laugh.
"Hold on a second," Stella said as Haley came to a picture of Grant, Dylan, Joshua, and Jessica they looked like the perfect little family. "Let me see this one for a second," Stella said as she removed the photo from the album.
Haley continues to look through the album. Stella studied the picture in her hand. She's not sure why she's never noticed this picture before, or maybe she just didn't think anything of it at the time. It's not like she was worried that her sister and husband were sleeping together behind her back. That was the farthest thing from her mind at the time. But now, as she continues to study the picture, questions start to surround her.
"Baby, I'm going to run down the stairs and talk to Aunt Gabby and Uncle Matt for a moment. You stay right there and look at the pictures." Stella said as she stood up.
"Okay, mama, hurry back," Haley said as she continued flipping through the photo album.
"I will, baby," Stella tells her before walking out of the room. She finds Gabby and Matt sitting in the living room.
Gabby's eyes widened when she walked into the room. "How did it go?" She asked in a nervous tone.
"I didn't tell her yet," Stella tells them as she sits down on the chair next to the couch. "This is going to sound crazy, but hear me out first," she tells them as they both look at her. "Look at this picture closely; this is Jessica and her two boys and my ex-husband Grant," she tells them as she hands them the photo. "Maybe I'm crazy or still in denial, but does either boy have any of Grant's features?"
Matt and Gabby looked at the picture closely for a few minutes. Gabby was the first to speak. "Well, to me, I would say not exactly; I see more of you and Jessica and even a little of Haley in the boys. But sometimes kids don't start looking like their parents until they get older. And it's hard to tell with the youngest; he's just a baby."
Stella sighed. " Joshua is three months old in that picture; it was taken about a month or two before Grant died. And Dylan was five."
"I agree with Gabby. I see more of your side of the family in the boys, but it's hard to tell because they are so young."
"Okay, how about this one?" Stella said as she pulled out her phone. "Here that is Dylan and Joshua now taken last month; Jessica sent it to me. Dylan is nine, and Joshua is four. " She said this as she handled Matt her phone.
"Well, it looks like the youngest one favors Grant with the dimples, but that's it,"' Matt said.
"Yeah, I see that, but Dylan doesn't favor him. He looks more like Jessica and you than Grant." Gabby added. " Now I can see Grant more in Haley than these two."
Stella bit her lip as she thought about something for a minute.
"Stella, what brought all this on?" Gabby asked.
Stella shrugs. "I don't know; I just was going through the photo album with Haley upstairs, and that picture just stuck out to me. And for the first time since finding out about Jessica and Grant, I really looked at that picture. And I was just curious if Grant is actually their father. I know it sounds crazy like I'm just trying to find any reason to deny the truth, but I can't help it. I want proof now."
Matt nods. "I understand where you're coming from. But how can you get proof now? He's dead."
"I don't know." She said it in a confused tone. "As I said, I know it sounds crazy, and maybe I am trying to find any excuse not to tell Haley. But that picture just hit me hard; it was like someone calling out to me that they did not look like Grant. It was like a punch in the gut feeling."
"But why would Jessica lie?" Gabby asked her.
"I don't know that either." She paused. "I honestly don't think she would lie about something so serious knowing how I would respond. But then again, my sister has none and has said some very questionable things in her life. We were close; we had a great relationship, so why risk our relationship with a lie?"
Gabby sighed. "I wish I could make it make sense for you. But Stella, do you really want the truth?"
"Of course, I think it would help me with telling Haley. And give me closure. Maybe."
"But there's no way for her to get the truth. Gabby, Grant isn't here to provide a DNA sample." Matt tells them. As the ladies' exchange looks.
Gabby bit her lip for a second and said, "Actually, there is a way." She says this, looking first at Matt and then at Stella, who are both giving her a baffled look. "Postmortem genetic testing is testing that is performed on a sample after an individual has died."
"Seriously, they do that?" Matt asked his wife, surprised by the news.
"Yes, the best way to test a father who is deceased will be a viability study on a sample taken from the deceased by a medical examiner. If the deceased had an autopsy performed by the medical examiner, a sample will be preserved at the medical examiner's office. Did Grant have an autopsy done?" Gabby asked Stella.
"Yeah, he did."
"Good. In order for the deceased person's DNA sample to be released for analysis, their next of kin is required to complete a Consent for DNA Testing form."
Stella's eyes widen. "What if the next of kin won't do it? Grant's parents are gone, and his brothers—I have no idea where they are."
"I'm slightly sure you can do it. You are his wife; you two were married at the time he died. So, by law, you are his next of kin." Gabby tells her.
Stella nods and thinks about everything Gabby just said. This would ease her mind and give her some peace.
"But there is something else you have to consider." Gabby's voice knocked Stella out of her thoughts.
" What?"
" Jessica will have to sign off on the boys doing a DNA test. They are underage; it would be her decision."
Stella laughed sarcastically. "She would fight me all the way to court." She tells them as she thinks of how her sister would react to her request for DNA.
"Yeah, I figured," Gabby said.
"Taking her to court would just add more pressure on you than you already have. Is it worth all the unnecessary drama that you know she would add to the situation?" Matt asked Stella.
"The last thing I want or need is more drama in my life, especially Jessica's drama." She paused. "But I can't explain it, but I don't think the boys are Grant's, and I'm going to need some real proof before I bring Haley into this mess."
"Why now?" Matt said, and he continued. "You've known for over six months now. And you never questioned it, but now you want to question it. What changed your mind?"
"I don't know; I was shocked and devastated when I first heard about Jessica and Grant. Even though I wasn't in love with Grant anymore and was planning on leaving him. I knew he was cheating on me, but I never thought about him cheating on me with my sister. And that my nephews were his sons. I just feel like something is off about the whole situation. "
"Jessica is lying to you." Kelly's voice echoed through the room. All three turned to look at him.
Stella was surprised he had come back. And confused about what he was talking about. "How do you know she is lying?" Stella asked as she stood up, giving him a confused but hopeful look. Her curiosity is getting the best of her. Kelly walked into the room and handed Stella a brown envelope. Stella arched her eyebrow. "What is this?"
"Open it." Kelly insisted. "News that will change your life."
Stella eyeballed him for a moment, trying to figure out if this was a good thing or more heartbreaking news.
Kelly knew she was nervous and anxious. "Stella, I promise you are going to want to know what's in this envelope. It will answer some questions and give you some closure."
Stella slowly starts to open the envelope and pulls out the paperwork. She gives Kelly a disbelieving look. Gabby and Matt stood up, looking back and forth between Kelly and Stella, both curious about what was in the envelope. Matt wondering if this is what Severide meant earlier about getting answers.
"Are you like a private investigator or something?" Stella asked Kelly, giving him a look of curiosity.
Kelly smiled. "Nope, just a firefighter."
"Then how did you get this information?"
Kelly rubbed the back of his neck. "Umm... let's just say I know people in high places." He tells her as he gives Matt and Gabby a glance. Knowing they know where he got it from.
Matt and Gabby knew exactly how he got information on Grant. Gabby wondered why he didn't get it when Jessica first showed up in Chicago.
Stella gave him a skeptical look. "And those people just handed you this?" She questioned him in a disbelieving tone. She wasn't buying his bullshit of an answer.
He ignored her question. "Stella, just turn to the fourth page and read the middle part. Please." Kelly asked her, knowing she wasn't going to quit asking questions until she got the one, she wanted. But he wasn't ready to tell her how he actually got it. "Trust me, you won't regret it."
Stella looked over at Gabby, who gave her a go-head look. She sighed, then turned the pages and looked at the middle part. Her eyes went from curious to disoriented. "Grant had a vasectomy done at eighteen." She said it in a loud, dismayed tone.
"What the hell?" Matt and Gabby spoke in unison.
"That's impossible; there is no way this is true," Stella said in a frantic tone. "Haley is Grant's daughter; he and you are the only two guys I've ever been sexually active with. This is a lie." She yelled, throwing the paperwork at Kelly. Stella was boiling pissed now, and Kelly could tell.
Kelly caught the papers. "No, it's not a lie; this is his medical record." He tells her as he holds up the paperwork. "And you are right, he is Haley's dad." Kelly paused for a second. "But... Grant is not Dylan's or Joshua's father, there's no way possible. Grant had a DNA done on Dylan when he was three months old." Kelly tells them as the three of them look at him with a puzzled look. "It's pretty strange what he did or why he did it, but it's all there in black and white." He hands Stella back the papers. " Read the timeline at the bottom of the page. It's confusing, but once you read everything, even the non-medical papers, things will start to fall into place for you. All your answers are in your hands Stella."