A/N: I want to say I'm sorry for not updating any of my stories in over a month, I had a death in my family that was unexpected, and I'm having a hard time processing it. I am doing a little better now, and I'm trying to get all my stories updated. So please be patient with me.

It's been a week since Kelly and Stella confessed their love for one another, and since then, Kelly has noticed a change in Stella. She has been very distracted this past week. When he asks her if she is okay, she says she's fine; she's got a lot going on. He knows she's busy with many local events in the community, especially since she is the organizer. But usually, she lets him help her when things get a little overwhelming, but she keeps telling him she doesn't need any help. He calls her throughout the day; she doesn't answer, and when he texts her, she always responds with one word; even when he texted her yesterday and said, I love you, she didn't respond at all. Which was definitely a sign something was going on with her.

"Severide," Casey said as he entered Kelly's office.

Kelly just sat there staring at a picture of him and Stella that Gabby took a few months ago. Stella loved it so much that she got it copied and framed them both; one is in their living room and the other she put on his desk. He was so drawn away that he didn't even acknowledge Casey's presents.

Casey eyed him for a moment, then walked farther into the office and shut the door. He knows something is going on with his friend, he hasn't been himself this week. "Severide, are you okay?" he asked as he touched his shoulder.

Kelly jumped. " What?" His tone was a little bit louder than he intended it to be.

"What is going on with you?"

"Nothing, why?" He asks, not sure what Casey was referring to.

"You seem a little distracted today; you seemed this way last shift too."

"I'm good, just a little tired."

Casey nods, but he's not buying it. "So, you and Stella are good?" he asked, carefully watching him.

"Yeah, of course. She's a little distracted with the church BBQ tomorrow night, she has the relay races for the cancer center tonight, and the yard sale slash bake sale fundraiser for the Joyful Heart Foundation is Saturday. But we're good." He reassures him, but his mind tells him otherwise.

"Yeah, Gabby, Cindy, and Donna, I believe, are helping her with the bake sale fundraiser thing."

"They are?" He was surprised; she told him she didn't need any help.

"Yeah, Gabby has 51 people donating stuff today, and she's taking it to Stella tomorrow, and Cindy has a list of stuff she's baking for the sale, according to Herrmann. Stella called Gabby a couple of nights ago, asking if she wanted to help out."

" Oh!" He said, as his mind wandered off again, that apparently, she was communicating with everyone but him. So, he did something to upset her, but what did he do? is the question.

Casey watched him for a moment. "Look, Severide, you and I have known each other for a long time, and one thing I know about you is that no matter what is going on in your life, when those bells go off, you have always been able to set aside your problems and make that call your top priority. But I noticed today that you seemed a little off."

"My job always comes first; what are you trying to say?" Kelly asked now in an irritated tone.

"I'm not trying to piss you off, it's just that I noticed earlier when we were on that call that you seemed off like your head wasn't in the game, and Cruz noticed it too, so Cruz took control of the situation, which I appalled him for doing so, but if your head's not...

"Did the victim die?" He asked, cutting Casey off.

"No, I'm j...

"Did we save all three victims?" He cut him off again.

" Yes!" Casey responded, knowing that he was taking this simple conversation out of context.

"Did we get the fire out, Captain Casey?" He questioned him in a bitter tone.

"Yeah, we did." Casey knew he was being sarcastic now.

"Then what the hell's the problem, Captain Casey?"

Casey sighed. He could tell something was bothering him, but apparently, he wasn't up for talking about it yet. "No problem, lieutenant." He said, choosing not to argue with him. He walked towards the door, figuring it was best to leave Severide alone, but the next words out of Kelly's mouth stopped him.

"She's shutting me out, and I don't know why." The sarcastic tone he had just a moment ago turned to a downcast one.

Casey turns and looks at him. "Did something happen between you two?"

"That's just it; I don't know. She's just been acting strange this past week. I think she's pushing me away because I told her I loved her."

"That doesn't make sense; you came to shift the next day and said she said it first to you, and you guys had a wonderful night."

"She did; we did."

" She even texted you that morning, saying she loved you when she sent you that selfie wearing the locket you gave her. You show that picture to everyone." Casey was just as confused as Kelly was now.

"I know." He replied as he tossed his head back, looking up at the ceiling. "Something happened after that morning, and I can't figure out what. I must have said something or done something to upset her. But I can't seem to put my finger on it."

Casey felt bad for him; he could tell how much this was tearing him up. "Gabby hasn't said anything, and I'm pretty sure if you did or said something that upset her, she would have told Gabby, and Gabby tells me everything."

Kelly nods. "I thought maybe this week has something to do with her past."

"What do you mean?"

" She told me when we got together that she has days that she shuts down, and she prefers to be left alone on those days. She wanted me to know that those days have nothing to do with me; it's just how she handles certain events."

"Okay, that makes sense given what she's been through; has she shut you out before?"

"Yeah, her mom's birthday; she told me the night before that she prefers to spend that day alone. So, I left her alone; she sat in the guest room all day. On the anniversary of her mom's death, she locked herself in the guest room for two days. She didn't talk to me or even eat. She apologized when she did come out of the room and told me that she needed that time to herself. Both times she did it, I understood why. Mother's Day, she was really quiet, but she went out to dinner with my mom and me." He thought back to those conversations they had about her mom's birthday and her mom's anniversary of her death. "She told me those were two days of the year she needs to be alone at least for now, and maybe one day she will let me in."

"I get that."

"She's never shut down on me for a week. She doesn't answer my calls, and she won't look at me. I just can't figure it out."

"Maybe it's her birthday." Casey was trying to help Severide piece together what was going on with his girlfriend.

Kelly shook his head. "Her birthday was last month; remember, she wanted to spend it alone. Gabby wanted to go to a club."

"Oh yeah, that was not a good night."

They both thought back to Stella's birthday last month. Gabby made plans for a night of dancing and drinking since she was allowed to drink again after having her baby.

Flashback to last month:

Stella and Kelly walked into Gabby's and Matt's house. "So, I've got an idea for tomorrow night for the four of us," Gabby told the couple as they entered the living room.

Stella gave her a confused look and then looked over at Kelly. "Gabby, Stella, and I are going to spend tomorrow night alone," Kelly said, knowing her birthday was not something she wanted to celebrate.

"Bullshit!" Gabby exclaimed. "I just got a babysitter, so the four of us are going out."

"I don't want to go out," Stella tells her.

"Stella, it's your birthday, and as your best friend, it's my job to make it a night to remember, so we are celebrating your first birthday back in Chicago."

Stella sighed as Kelly sat down next to Casey on the couch. He knew why she didn't want to celebrate it, but Gabby and Casey didn't know.

"I'm not going," Stella told Gabby as she crossed her arms over herself.

"Yes, you are; we are going to get all dolled up. I'm going to wear one of my sexy dresses since I got my figure back. And we are going to drink and dance the night away." Gabby says as she pulls Stella closer. "It's your birthday; you have to celebrate."

"I don't want to celebrate it; I don't like my birthday," Stella said as she pulled away from Gabby's hold.

"Everyone loves their birthday. Stop being so childish."

"I'm not being childish; I just don't want to go to a lame-ass club and get drunk. It's my birthday, so I should be allowed to spend it the way I want. And I want to be alone; I don't like my birthday; I don't want to celebrate it."

"You just want to spend it having sex with Kelly, which you can do anytime; hell, you can do it after the club for all I care; all I want is three hours of dancing and fun."

"Sex with Kelly tomorrow night is the furthest thing from my mind." She looked at Kelly, who gave her a reassuring smile. "Gabby, you and Matt go to the club and had a wonderful time. I will be at home with Kelly, not having sex, but praying that tomorrow goes by as fast as a lightning strike. I don't want tomorrow to come; I don't want to think about tomorrow; I don't want to talk about tomorrow; tomorrow is just another day, nothing special. Actually, I wish there was a way to erase tomorrow from coming; I wish that I could erase my birthday from ever coming again. But unfortunately, I don't have that kind of power."

Kelly and Casey sat on the couch watching the two argue Kelly watched Stella pace back and forth, he knew she was getting to her breaking point. Kelly stood up, "Babe, maybe we should go." he suggested.

Stella looked at him. "Yes, I think that's a good idea."

Gabby sighed dramatically. "What the hell are you talking about? You used to love your birthday." Gabby yelled as the couple got ready to walk out of the living room.

"Gabby, that was years ago; a lot has happened since then."

"You are being ridiculous; you used to count down to your birthday. You were like the birthday queen. You had the best birthday parties ever; I was always jealous of your birthday parties, your 8th birthday, and your 13th birthday; oh my God, do you remember how much fun we had on your 15th birthday?"

"I don't want to talk about my past birthdays, Gabby. Can you just drop it and let it be?"

"What the hell happened to you?" Gabby asked, but soon she will regret her question.

None of them were prepared for what came out of Stella's mouth next. "What the hell happened to me?" She repeated Gabby's words in a furious tone. "I will tell you exactly what happened to me: I was raped on my 17th birthday, and my virginity was stolen from me on my 17th birthday. I'm sorry that I can't seem to let that birthday go; that birthday plays over in my head every year. No matter how hard I try not to think about it or try to push it to the back of my mind, it's the only birthday I can recall. So, excuse me for not wanting to celebrate my fucking birthday, Gabby. " She hollered. then stormed out of Gabby's and Matt's house. Kelly was running behind her.

End of memory...

"Gabby felt so bad afterward; she cried all night," Casey said.

"I found Stella laying on the bathroom floor that night crying. We ended up staying there all night and most of the next day."

"Gabby tried everything to get Stella to accept her apology; that was one long-ass week for me. Every little thing aroused Gabby that week, and I was so happy when they finally made up."

Kelly smiled a little, thinking of that moment. Then exhaled loudly. "I just can't seem to put my finger on what could have her so distracted, something happened after I left for shift that morning, and she doesn't trust me enough to tell me. " The thought of that hurt him deeply, he thought she was comfortable talking to him about anything. They had come such a long way this past year, he didn't want them to take a step back.

"Maybe you're overreacting; maybe she really is just too busy with everything she's got going on," Casey tells him, hoping to give him some reassurance.

Kelly doesn't respond; he knows he's not overreacting. Something is going on with Stella, something more than her busy schedule.

Stella was standing by the coffee pot when Kelly walked into the kitchen the next morning after shift. "Morning."

She doesn't look at him. "Morning." She replied as she poured herself some coffee into her to-go cup.

Kelly watches her, and he hates the awkwardness that seems to be between them now. She always asks him how shift was. And she always kisses him every morning. She hasn't kissed him in a week now. "Busy day?" he asks, hoping to have a conversation with her.

"Yeah, a long day too."

"Do you need any help?"

" No." She said quickly.

"Did you need me to run any errands or do anything around the house for you?"

" No"

He knows something is going on, but one thing he's learned in the past year is not to push her into anything; she will talk to him when she's ready. "I could fix us dinner and...

"I'll eat at the BBQ," she said, interrupting him. "As I said, I have a busy day." She grabbed her phone and put it in her bag. "So don't waste your time." She picked up her coffee and headed out of the kitchen.

Kelly grabbed her hand. "Are we okay? Did I do something?" She didn't look at him; he squeezed her hand.

"No, you didn't." She said this as she pulled her hand away. "We're fine. I've got to go." She rushed quickly out the door before he could question her anymore.

A few hours later, Kelly was outside mowing grass, well at least trying to, his mind was too focused on Stella, and how to make things right between them. Gabby's voice knocks him from his thoughts.

"Working on your tan, Severide?" Gabby joked as she got out of the car.

Kelly just looked over at her. "Stella's not here; she left early this morning."

"Are you okay?" Gabby asked, noticing something was wrong. He didn't have a smartass come back.

"Not really, but that's life."

"Did you talk to her?" Casey asked.

"I tried to, but she was in a rush; she's so busy." He said it sarcastically.

"Well, she does have a lot on her plate right now, Severide. Matt told me about what you guys talked about yesterday, and I think you're overreacting."

"I'm not overreacting; she won't look at me, and she doesn't answer my calls. You know what? Let me prove to you that she's avoiding me." He pulled out his phone and called Stella. The phone rang one time, then the voicemail picked up. "I got sent to voicemail; now you call her Casey."

"She's really busy," Gabby said, defending her friend.

Casey pulls out his phone and calls her. "Hey, Stella!" He said this, looking at Severide, who just shakes his head. "Yeah, I know you're busy, but I wanted to let you know my sister and niece will like to buy a BBQ plate too."

"That doesn't prove anything; she was probably doing something when you called," Gabby whispered. as Casey continued his phone conversation.

After Casey hung up, "Watch this?" Kelly said as he called her back. And just like last time, one rang. "See one ring sent to voicemail again. Now you call her Gabby."

Gabby sighed. "Fine, but this is ridiculous; she is not avoiding you." She hits the call button once, and Stella picks up. "Hey girl," Gabby said as she watched the heartbreaking look echoing on Severide's face. Kelly starts the lawnmower up again and starts mowing the yard. As Matt and Gabby exchange looks, maybe he is the problem. But why?

Stella was at the entrance door laughing and joking with some of the members of the committee when Gabby and Matt walked in. Matt headed for the food table, while Gabby headed towards Stella. She stood there, patiently waiting for Stella to finish her conversation.

"Hey, Gabby!" Stella said, as the people she was talking to started to walk away.

"Hey, girl, great turnout," Gabby told her as they looked around at all the people. "Where's Kelly?"

"I don't know." She said it as if she didn't realize he wasn't there.

"I'm just surprised he's not here, helping; he loves volunteering for the kids in the community," Gabby said, watching as Stella's eyes widened and she bit her lip. Kelly is right; something is bothering her, and it involves Kelly. "Is everything between you guys good?"

"Of course, it is." She tells her, but Gabby noticed that her words didn't match her eyes, her eyes looked darker and sad.

Gabby watches as she plays with the locket around her neck. She's still wearing the locket, so that's a good sign. "Just checking."

Stella gave her an uncomfortable smile. "I should go make my rounds; you know, make sure everyone is having a good time." She knows that Gabby can read her almost as well as Kelly can, so she needs to get away from her.

"Yeah, go ahead." Gabby watches as she quickly walks away.

"Did you find out anything?" Matt asked as he came up from behind her.

" Kelly is right; she is avoiding him," Gabby tells him as she tries to figure out why.

Stella shook hundreds of people's hands and took so many pictures with them. She was proud of herself for having such a successful event for her first time being in charge. She looks around at the kids running around and adults eating and laughing; some were dancing, and some were playing the games she set up. Everyone looked like they were having a good time—everyone but her, that is. She kept looking around for Kelly but had no luck. It seemed like the whole firehouse and their families came to support her, except Kelly. And that was all her fault.

She sighed as she walked over to where Gabby and Matt were standing. She stops as she hears Matt say "That was Severide."

"Did he want us to bring him a plate?"

"Yeah, and he also wanted to ask if he could crash with us for a night or so."

"What? Why?"

The couple turned around to see a confused, widened-eyed Stella. "He's moving out?" Her voice was shaky.

"No, he's not moving out; he just wants to give you space," Matt said he was trying to reassure her.

"Give me space?" She questioned it like it was the dumbest thing she'd ever heard.

Gabby gave her a puzzled look. "He just feels that you need some time; he knows something's going on with you, and he knows it's better not to push you into talking about whatever is bothering you until you're ready."

"That's ridiculous; nothing's going on with me. I'm fine. I'm not sure what he's telling you guys or why he thinks something is going on. Everything is fine." Her tone is furious as she stares at Gabby heatedly.

"Then why are you avoiding him?" Gabby questioned.

"I'm not avoiding him." She said it in a defensive tone.

"Why didn't you answer his calls today?"

"I was busy!"

"But you answered mine and Matt's." Stella's mouth opened, but nothing came out, so Gabby continued. "We were at your house before we came here to drop those boxes off for the fundraiser. Kelly was outside mowing the grass. He called you and you sent him to voicemail. So, Matt called you and you answered. Kelly called you again after you hung up with Matt. You sent him to voicemail again. Then I called you and...

"And I answered, so what? And what the hell was he doing testing me?" She said bitterly interrupting her.

"No, he's just trying to figure out what he did."

"Oh, my God." She exclaimed in a frustrated tone. "He didn't do anything; I'm fine for the last time I'm fine. God, I don't know why he thinks something is wrong."

"Because that man knows you better than anyone, he can tell something is going on, and it's killing him that you're shutting him out," Casey says his words melt her frustration away.

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed deeply. She noticed people looking at her now she was embarrassed. She gets closer to the couple and whispers. "I don't want him to leave me; I need him."

Gabby grabbed her hand. "He's not leaving you; he was just thinking of staying with us and giving you some personal space. He said you've been acting strange since he told you he loved you, so he figured maybe that's why you were pushing him away."

"No, I love him, Gabby, I do." She closed her eyes, mentally kicking herself. She knew he was hurting over the way she'd been acting, but she didn't think he thought it had anything to do with him confessing his love for her. Those words gave her such a new outlook on their relationship.

"Here," Gabby said, giving her a plate. Stella opened her eyes, giving her a confused look. "Kelly wanted us to bring him a plate; why don't you take it to him and go talk to him? Stella, tell him you love him; he needs to hear it right now."

"I can't; I've got to clean up and make sure the girls get home."

"Matt and I will help clean up, and we will make sure all six of your girls get home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now go."

Stella gave them both a quick hug, then ran off to her car. On the drive home, she thought about the conversation she needed to have with Kelly. She knew he would understand why she was shutting him out once he found out, but she also knew he wasn't going to understand why she wasn't calling the attorney back.

She walked into the house; it was really quiet. She sat her key down on the stand by the door, and then she noticed his black duffle bag. Her heart sunk; He was going to leave; her eyes teared up at that thought. She walked into the kitchen; he was feeding her cat. She smiled. "Please don't leave me."

He turned around, surprised to see her, and more surprised that she was looking at him. " What?"

She fiddled with her fingers as she nervously looked at him. "Matt said that you were going to stay with them for a couple of days." Their eyes locked for the first time in a week.

"It's not like I want to; I just figured I'd give you some space to deal with whatever going on with you." He leaned up against the counter, staring at her.

"I don't want you to leave." She whispered.

"Are you going to tell me what I did?"

"Kelly, you didn't do anything."

"Then why is this the first time we have had a real conversation all week? We haven't talked other than a few words here or there; you haven't looked at me or touched me, and when I tried to touch you, you brushed me off or pulled away. You haven't acknowledged my existence all week. And the nights I wasn't on shift, you slept on the couch. So yeah, I felt like it was my fault like I did or said something to upset you."

"It's not your fault you didn't do or say anything to upset me."

The room went quiet for a few minutes, and Kelly watched her closely, hoping that she was going to finally open up to him about what was bothering her. "You know I'm a good listener."

Stella looked down at the floor. Part of her wants to talk to him; she wants him to ease her worries away and make her feel safe. But the other part knows he's going to be upset with her, and she doesn't want to fight with him about her past, she wants her past to magically disappear.

Kelly surrendered. "I'm going to head down to Molly's for a bit." He tells her as he walks out of the kitchen." I'll be back later. " He doesn't know what else to do or say, and she obviously doesn't want to talk about it, at least not with him. He grabs his keys, and before he opens the front door, he hears her say.

"Sonny's up for parole."

He turns to find her standing behind him. " What?" He thought he heard her, but he wasn't sure. her voice was below a whisper.

"Sonny is up for parole." She swallowed hard.

"How in the hell is that possible?" He questions her as the realization hits him her actions this past week make sense now.

"Beats me. I got a certified letter last week from the lawyer that I testified for, the one that told me that my testifying statement would lock Sonny up for the rest of his life. Well, that was a lie." Her tone was bitter and heartbreaking. She rubbed her head.

"What's the reason for his parole?" Kelly asked as he walked towards her. His heart breaks for her, knowing she is reliving what happened to her again.

"I don't know; it was some bogus ass reason. All I do know is that our justice system is fucked up."

"I agree."

"Seriously, how does someone who did everything that he did get a chance of parole after only serving 12 years? It just doesn't make any sense to me—everything he put me through, what he did to Stacy. What he did to Devin, I don't care what anyone says, was not just an accident. Sunny and Paul did something. I might not have been mentally stable at the time to prove it, but nothing's ever going to change my mind that his accident was just an accident. Because it wasn't."

Kelly watched her for a moment; he knew she was battling within herself and needed to vent.

"He killed both my babies. I mean, don't get me wrong, I didn't want them; I would have probably ended up giving them up for adoption. I didn't want to have his kids, but they were still a part of me. He killed two innocent lives; he's the reason Stacy committed suicide. And he took so much away from me with his physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse. How does he deserve to be free?" She questioned, as she cried.

"He doesn't; hell, life in prison isn't justice enough for me." He pulls her to him. "I wish you would have told me when you got the letter, so I could have been there for you."

She laid her head on his shoulder as he held her close. "I wanted to, but I was paralyzed; I couldn't move. I stood there, reading the same sentence over and over. I couldn't believe what I was reading."

Kelly stroked her back in a comfortable way. "Was the letter just notifying you that he was up for parole? Or was the lawyer wanting you to come and speak at his parole hearing?"

Stella bit her lip. She knew this was going to upset him; he wasn't going to understand where she was coming from. "It was to notify me that he was up for parole and to tell me that I can come to the hearing to help keep him locked up. She thinks if I speak about what I've been through and what he did to me, it might impact the decision whether to release him or not."

"I'll go with you." He tells her this as he kisses the top of her head.

She knew he was going to say that. "I appreciate the offer, but Kelly, I'm not going. I can't put myself through that again."

"Baby, you have to do this; your testimony could keep him locked up where he belongs; that man doesn't deserve to be free."

She pulled away from him. "See, this is why I've been avoiding you this week. I knew once I told you, you were going to try to convince me to go. I can't do it, Kelly; I'm not going. Nothing you say is going to change my mind."

"I think you should reconsider and I think...

"I'm not reconsidering anything." She interrupted him. "This is my decision, not yours, and I've already made my mind up. I'm not going back to New York; I'm not testifying again; we're done talking about it." She tells him before running up the stairs.

Kelly stared at the stairs as he thought about whether or not to actually drop the subject or somehow convince her to go and confront Sonny. Either way, this could impact her; if she goes, she's going to have to relive everything that bastard did to her. And if she doesn't, she's going to be haunted by the thought of him being free—free to do what he did to her to someone else. And if he convinces her to go, will that put a restraint on their relationship, causing him to lose her in the process?